Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #113 All I Want for Christmas is Sleep

Transcript

#113 All I Want for Christmas is Sleep · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm about to buy? What's that? Okay? Okay,
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know how you'll take this news. How many houses?
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: How many houses you're buying? Shut up?
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna buy some loafers, like leather loafers.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Like dress loafers around the house. Loafers like dress loafers.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: I think I'm their black leather, shiny yeah, low front. Yeah.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: How do you feel about that?
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: I just feel like that's like the next step for me,
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: next step in.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: What who I am? The evolution, the evolution of me.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I don't have a problem with them. I don't have
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: a problem with them.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Well, clearly you fucking do with that time No, no, no, no,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: no no.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Could you see me in a loafer?
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Our producers put up as he's getting closer to forty.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to two Going Dads. I am Maddie Jay.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: What do you say? I say? And I'm ash. This
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: is a podcast at about parenting. It is the good,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: it is the bad and the relatable.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Getting foot cramp, get some loafers, bro, excuse me if
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: you do get loafers, get a shoehorn.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: No, I feel like shoehorn is you know? They say
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: the bigger the horn, the bigger the man. But if
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: you get it.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Also, if you get a shoehorn, you get a big
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: one that you don't have to you could be standing up.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's what mean.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're a real big one because you can't bend
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: over down there anymore.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: You could get that for me. For Christmas? We are
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: are we getting each other? We could do a secret center.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I know who gave it to me.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Of you we're having for those wondering, we are having
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: a Christmas party. I'm excited because I've never had a
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Christmas party at work, Christmas party ever since like eight
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: years ago.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, I'm not that's sad. Oh one man band,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: one man band.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, there's a few people coming. Could do, could do
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: a secret center, could do, But it's fucking Christmas.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Ash. I'm not a for God's sake, I'm not a fan.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I do it for the kids. What's not to be
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: a fan of? What is the problem.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: I think it's all a big waste of money, money
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: making scheme. It's a coup ess. As writing one notes
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: in a book, I can see.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize the Christmas green she was joining us today.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having me.
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: I was talking about this with April today, but I
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: just I don't know.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: She was like to me, you gotta remember it's not
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: about you kids, She's one hundred percent. And I said,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: I agreed. I said, yeah, I'm sorry, but I do.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie to you. I love it.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Will you buy April anything?
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: We did a scene where it's like twenty dollars each?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: What do you buy like a pack of tim tan No.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: No, it's it's it's kind of like how creative you
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: can get with that twenty dollars. So I think, like
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: last time, I got like this sloth mug and it
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: with little things that she uses all the time, like
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: a little lip balm, a couple ofttle things that she
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: uses on her day to day, like a new.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Toothbrush because their breaths doing like a like a little
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: like she loves travelsopes.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: She's a weirdo as in like you take them from
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: hotels or.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Yes, but like it's how creative you can get with
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: that twenty dollars. I love that. It's about the thought
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: that we can apply that same.
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: What are you guys doing just buying each other new cars,
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: houses and boats or helicopter each?
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: No? I've requested a new skateboard. Oh, that's right from where.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: There's a little skate shop down the road. So it's
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: on the one hand, yes, I'm itching towards forty with
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: a pair of loafers, and on the other hand, I'm
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: staying in touch with my youthful side with a new skateboard.
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: You should get a pair of Globes or Ethny's or Osiris,
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: chunky fucking things.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Now we're the Vans. Why don't we hear the loafers?
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Why do you wear the loafers on a skateboard? Would
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: be that guy through Bonday. I don't want to Here
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: comes Maddie Jay.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: It's not the sound that I make when I skateboard. Also,
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: that's like a Batman noise.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Also on the scale of superheroes, Batman is pretty shit.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: What's going on with your week? Big guy? How come
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: you're so stressed out? Why am I stressed out? Can
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: you tell me? Man? Do you know what? Actually? What
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: is it? Ash? Okay? The cicadas, let me just give
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: you a brief overview. And you've heard them. We've all
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: heard them.
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: There's news articles out about the soicadas this year.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: If anyone is not familiar with the sound of the cicadas.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: We're just going to put in a little snippet of
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: what it sounds like from your balcony. Yeah, it's stephening.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: And that's because there's two species of cicada's fighting for territory.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: This year didn't no devil atton brother was here too,
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Grosser is fighting for its mate.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: And it's like the out of they are, and the
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: more pissed they spread, like the more dominant they are.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: I don't know I made that up, but I know
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: they're fighting for territory.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: I haven't heard the piss story. What's the piss about?
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: It's just they just piss everywhere to what I don't
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: like a dog. Yeah, I would say to Mark territory.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: You walk out in the front of my house, but
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: I time you get to the car, it's like you're saturated.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: And you're getting you're getting pissed on, get pissed on.
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so last week was a bit as you can
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: remember the way you like that at all.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Well, if you got something in the car one second
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: April the car.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: April's like where the ash.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I don't appreciate your judgment. You're judging me.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to kink shame you.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: You're kink shaming me.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Do you want to get pissed on by Sicanda? It's
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: like all the power to you.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: It's refreshing anyway.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Anyway, Neighbors are like, oh, make it.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: The driver spinning around? Oh god, why has that man
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: got an erection that his house?
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: It's last week was a bit sunny, rainy, sunny, rainy,
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: bit like that sort of weather.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: So I kept walking outside.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Sitting on your balcony with a cigarette.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Fem, guy's gonna stop doing this to me that one. Sorry, sorry, sorry, Yeah,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: very hot. So I didn't know if it was raining
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: or I was getting pissed. I was getting that finished
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: the story and.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: Look, as you saw, it's really loud, but it's also
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: sparked the attention, not the piss the bugs themselves.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Is it a bug in the insect? I fuck?
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: I think so, I think I would. I would put
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: money on the fact that that would be an insect
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: or a bug.
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: The kids have are drawn to the cicadas because they
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: also come out of the ground.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: They hatch out of a shell. They leave the shell
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: wherever they've hatched.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: Love the shells, they love collecting them, but They also
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: pick up the dead ones, which is great. Not I've
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: got containers full of them at home that the kids
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: have filled up. Good containers too, Not these shit takeaway ones.
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: Good tupperware, like not the streets ice cream.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: No fucking hell, holy shit, there's a lot of cicadas.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Very good. How long are you going to keep the
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: cicadas for? I keep throwing them out because they attract ants.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Where do you put them in the I put them
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: in the back of the bush or when the kids
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: sleep with the sicanda noise going on in the background.
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: Because at night it really calms down. Of course, the
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: hotter it is, the louder they are. But they what
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: they do also is they sync up the noise, so
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: it's it starts to get louder and louder, and then
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: it starts to go like like like they.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Sync up together.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: And you know when you're in a car and you
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: open one window and it's like it's like that in
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: your head and you're like so ome, we're all fucking
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: going crazy. But shut all the doors. It's like thirty
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: degrees so stinking hot in my fucking haut.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: What was the decimal reading? You put one hundred and five.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: You measured one hundred and five hundred and five on
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: the decimal meter.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: And remind the people listening what causes damage.
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: Anywhere between eighty and one hundred and ten. So I'm
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: nearly at the threshold of it being dangerous.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Well, like, what are you going to do? How long
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: does it last for?
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: I don't know, I don't know. I told you I'm
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: gonna have to move. I think, like, they don't last
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: that long, and then then they fibernate.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Although I have this vague memory.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: It's funny because the seasons they go for just long
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: enough you forget what it's like when summer comes around
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: and you're like, was this always the case?
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: Always like this, because I haven't When I was a kid,
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: I lived in the suburb believing now, and I remember
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: they were really bad then, and I've forgotten.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: It's like when we moved to the Gold Coast, we
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: moved into the airport and all I could hear was
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: the fucking aeroplanes. I was like, how are we going
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: to live here? And then people had come over and
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: like is that aeroplane noise annoying? You're like, whatever, you
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: just forget.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So come January when I'm like, ash, how the fuck.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Do you live like this? I'm like what And that's
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: the joke?
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: Like, and I also at home, Ape was like, hey,
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: can you take the rubbija?
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I like got here vibe? Sorry you have you do.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: Talk quite loud like you And I keep waking up
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: with a sore throat and I don't know why because
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to talk over the cicada.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: You're going to say because the sicandages in your ear,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: all that sarages. I'm out.
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: Anyway, the kids are obsessed, and so much so that
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: Oscar the other day came home bragging about the socadas
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: you've had found in a container. I thought they're in
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: the container, lid's on, not my fucking problem, put it outside.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: And then he's gone.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: Last week, Ap was in the city lot, so I
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: was running around the house when they when they would
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: go to bed and clean up before she gets home,
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: make sure it's acceptable. And I've picked up his school
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: bag and I've opened the school bag full of a
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: live cicadas and it just went and stop and I'm.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Like, flip. It was like the plane got attacked by them,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: and I'm like trying to swap them out of the
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: fucking house and all I could hear is the kids going,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: what's happening at there? And I was just like nothing.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, the good thing is Oscar's not scared of them.
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: I don't know how they got in there, because he's
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: always like, look at this a live one, you get it.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, Macy.
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: Maybe she might be the culprit, but they were in
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: there zipped up.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: That's weird.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: I also I went to bring the washing down and
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: Weird washed one of Macy's cot fitted cheese. They quite small,
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: and I went to take it off the wine and
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: one had been caught in there.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: And just attacked me in the backyard. Anyway, I'm traumatized
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: a fucking night.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Then I want to ask you about graduation in just
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: a second, but before we do that, I want to
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: just get your opinion on something that happened last night.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: You know, I called you when I was.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Driving and I, oh, you're on the way to the
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I don't know if it's the fact that it's end
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: of the year. I don't know, like what's going on.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: My kids are being so freaking naughty at the moment.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Like even daycare was like, oh, Marley's been a little
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: bit tricky. She's not listening to anything we're saying.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Do you think it might be end of term fatigue?
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: That's what I was thinking.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: I was like, maybe it's just but I guess they
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: don't really have like a big it's fucking daycare.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: They're doing fingerpainting. What's it take?
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: You got to think, like they've been to they're here,
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: they would do what they want to do kind of
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: hear in terms of play, but they're they're trying to
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: keep everyone uniformed and in control.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: And they're like, come on, we're going to do this now.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: And sometimes I like, what the fucking It's just the weekends,
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Like weekend just gone was one of the most unenjoyable
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: good parenting. It was just me too. It was just
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: add zero patients.
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: We actually funny you say that because we were at
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: my I was at my house and I had some
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: friends over with their kids and a friend Miles, who
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: doesn't have any very much, doesn't have any kids, very single, and.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: He was like, is there a off switch? Does this
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: ever end? They would just.
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: Fucking one would break down and then like want to
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: do something naughty, then want.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: To punch it up? They just know.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: I think they know. I think subconsciously they know. Okay,
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: it's coming to the end of the year.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: The Christmas bribes are not working for me this year.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: It's like it's it's a tricky it's a tricky time
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: of the year. Maybe I'm fatigued and I'm just taking
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: it out of my kids. But last night, okay, last
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: night Laura had a work phone call come through. She
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: had to grab that. I was putting the kids in
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: the bath.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Terrible time for a phone call.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: I mean, did she have to take it? Could she
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: have pushed it back half now? Who knows?
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Yes? The answer to yes, who knows.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Anyway, she had to take the phone call, and I
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: was like, I'll put the kids in the bar. I
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: left it too late. It was seven o'clock and I
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: was like, okay, guys, we're gonna wash our bellies. And
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: they were like fuck off. And I was like, well,
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: they were like nah, but like not keen. And I
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: was like, we'll brush our teeth first, not keen. Every
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: time I came to the smooth brush, Lola was like
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: swatting me away, and I was like, we need to
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: we have the sugar bugs like I was just trying
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: every direction of like who can brush the teeth the fastest?
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Nothing was working. I just wanted to get them in
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: and out. Every time I kind of like tried to
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: wash one, they would like scurry away, and I was like,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: do you know what, Like I've tried for ten minutes
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: now to try and gently encourage them to get on
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: board and do what I want to do. I'm just
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: going to fucking pin down.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Mali, like I'm not a sheep. Well, you know how you.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: See them like the ship, they like dunk him in
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: like a liquid when they have to get like.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Before they light them on fire. Yeah what sorry, they
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: dunk the sheep and like a liquid and it gets
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: rid of the pests. And oh anyway, I thought, man
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: like pinned down well to the.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Send like shearing a sheep anyway, So I was like
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: gently I pinned her down. I just I grabbed her.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: I had some Yeah, I was trying to wrangler.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: I just washed her.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: She was screaming because she's like I don't want to
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: be washed. It was like whatever, grab Lola just like
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: brush his heeath and she was like squirming around.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: I just just like I'm just gonna do it.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: Both kids are screaming like hysterical because they're just tired. Right,
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: And then Laura came down off the back of her
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: phone call and she was like, what have you done?
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: And I'm standing there next to kids who acting like
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: they've just been like what have you done? To these
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: kids that have definitely not done anything wrong? But I'm like,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: what do you what do I do not wash them?
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: Or do you just wouldn't wash them? Yeah? Yeah? Right?
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: You know, Like what I'll do is if they're being
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: difficult with like washing them with like a washer, like,
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: I'll literally go and get the biggest container I can
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: find and just don't get and go and.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: It goes even that would make them cry.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: And I'm like and then and then I leave.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: The room, April by work here.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: I just literally come out of the door. What I do,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: like look at each other and go did that just happen? Yeah?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Get over it?
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: In that situation. Tell me if I'm wrong, it's only
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: going to end and them having tears, always them having
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: a melt down and then coming back down and settling
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: down and then going to bed. Right, that's just the
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: way it's going to happen.
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: I think, like you could have the melt down and
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: have the rest of the bedtime be at nightmare, or
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: you could just like go, look tonight, it's not mine eyes,
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: not my night borrow, let's just go.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Let's just let them they're in the water. That's a
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: good start.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, Lola never wants to brush
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: the teeth. Like it's the same story every single night.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, shame her. Huh, shame her keep breastings.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: No, I you know, I have that little mouthguard mybizzi line.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: I were at nighttime and she's like, what's that, And
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: I go, this is to keep my teeth in because
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: if I didn't have this, they'd all fall out because
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: I never brush my teeth when I was a kid.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, you're a loser. Yeah, okay.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: So I'm like that doesn't work either. Nothing works. I think, like,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: tell me, I'm not the only one with kids who
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: are currently being absolutely not.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: Like last week, I was just like at my witsand
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: with them, it would I was going for and log
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: in hindsight, I'm like, oh, I just relax a little bit.
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: In hindsight, I was I was going from like, hey,
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: can you move that too.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: So quickly and like you do like a shout. I'm sorry,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: don't you I can't, and I was.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: I would be putting the dad voice on way coickout
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: than I would be usually.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Usually I'm like, he goes you just that you have
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: to make Usually nothing works. Keep put your shoes and
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: socks on. But put your shoes and your socks on.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Doesn't listen. That's the second time.
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: Third time, like oscar, shoes, socks, then still nothing. How
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: many times do I have to tell you to put
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: your shoes and socks on?
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: That's too long.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I don't reckon that happened now because then he's like
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: immobilized him and he was like too many words.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I can't do all these words. And then I'm like,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: shoes just like that. That usually gets them nice. Yeah,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: but last week I would go for him, Hey, Bud,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: put shoes on. Put your shoes and shoes on for
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: people listening.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: He doesn't swear like that, don't tell me what I
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: do and don't do. I'm like, I don't know, breath.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I'm like, did you swear it all the graduation?
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: No?
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: A couple of things happened, well, so I'll okay, I'll
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: tell you what one of our two graduations?
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: All right, you play mine with yours.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: So also, first congratulations, yes son graduating from daycare.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: I'm surprised.
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: I'm glad someone in the family finally graduated something. As
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: you know, I goes to two kindis the Long DAYK
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: one was last week on Thursday.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: And it's cool. They all came out. They did or
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: what they do. They present them with like a little
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: certificate in front of all the parents.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: Love and how many kids I'm gonna say like fourteen?
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: He said's good, we had twenty three? Holy shit.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Now the presentation took forever. That's because your area's overpopulated.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Thank you. We need to do something about that. That's
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: another podcast episode, the overpopulation of the Eastern suburbs. Did
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: anyone cry? And yeah, there was one kid he cried,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: ran off the parents. There was a few. There's a
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: few parents that cried. And I have a problem with crying.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: What was the trees? What was the trigger for crying?
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: Ah, the trigger for crying was and Osana cried from
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: laughter is Lenny's parents because they did what they would
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: do is they would go, you know, Lenny, oscar whatever graduated.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: What they want to be when they grow up. He said,
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: muscle man, that's my way. Anyway, Oscar's turn.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Comes up, and he was like last in the line.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: What did he want to be?
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm surprised. And then also I blurted out something
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: afterwards that was a little bit too loud.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: What'd you blurt out?
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: So they said Oscar Wicks graduating. When he grows up,
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: he wants to be a policeman, and I just said, snitch.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: I'm older, you bro, And I was like, oh. It
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: was like, hey, do you know what's funny?
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Marley wanted to be a policeman, spy, policeman, spy.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: There was a girl there that wanted to be a doctor,
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: and then in a spare time, a pilot, and I
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: thought I never retiever.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: There was one boy who said air conditioner repair man
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: and everyone laughed, and I'm pretty sure it's because his
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: dad is an air conditioning I.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Was like, that's so bad. That job's not bad. That's great. Yeah,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: people need it. It's summer, go for an attainable goal.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I like it. Anyway. Then they did like her a
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: re enactment of the Hungry, Hungry caterpillar story.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: So it's like a show like does a caterpillar kids
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: like attached to each other.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: So one kid was the caterpillar and then the was
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: the she Daisy was the caterpillar. Anyway, so what would
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: happen is say there would be like on Monday eight,
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: one apple, so one apple would come out and the
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: caterpillar would go over.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: In front of her. There were signs of the fruit.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: You're leaving out some critical information here anyway, then poor days.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I'm just imagine her like slithering over the floor.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: And then they did a they did a dance at
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: the end.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Love that.
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: I think I've actually got maybe just a little bit
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: of Oscar because Oscar took it very seriously.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. And he was very good. I
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: will say it is spice in his moves. There's one
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: movie in particular, Scars.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: It's very good.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: He's killing this. He's good. He's very good.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: He absolutely he really when we did Dancing with his Stars, No,
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: we were told to. It's like, you know, when you
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: do a move, you got to like sell the move.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Oh yeahs to be like very like intentioned.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: And he's he's got that. Yeah, he did really really well.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: But I was shocked. He was very good, very good,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: very very good.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: What time is that, by the way, like what time
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: of days of graduation?
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Nine thirty in the morning. I like that.
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so that was one KINDI the other KINDI was
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: like a Christmas pope.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: They don't make the kids perform.
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: They actually had one of the teachers perform, and she
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: was outstanding.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I will say.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I want to say, just quietly, if anyone from our
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: daycare is listening, I want to say that you guys
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: do an incredible job. Oh yeah, look after my children,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: and I can only appreciate how stressful it must be
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: at this end of the year to look after the
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: kids as well as planning graduation.
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they do the extracurricular stuff free of charge.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: Like, like, I commend you very very impressive. However, I
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: do have one little gripe laid on me has went
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: for a very long time.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: How long?
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: So we were told get there for five forty five.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: I am no, So they were like five forty five,
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: get there. So it's pretty late already.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Let's start. All the parents are there.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: A lot of the parents had younger children, you know
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: who in the nursery, and and so we're all waiting around.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: Doesn't start till six o'clock. I think something happened and
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: they took a while to set up, so the kids
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: didn't come out until like just after six, right, because
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: it was twenty three kids. It took a really long time.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I had three songs to start with. They then did
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: the presentation of a pluk and a shirt, which they
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: each got a shirt. Yeah nice, it's nice, but it
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: took a really really long time. Also, Lola at this
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: point is now at quarter to seven, she's fucking starving.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Bro oh yeah, is hungry. She's like a dady.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: And then we had a little little play because all
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: the kids are up there and they want to like
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: now mingle. And then we were like, well, time to
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: like get out of here, all right, thanks very much.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: And then the teacher's like no, no, no where wait. They
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: had to put them in a little graduation like hat thing.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: I had three more songs to perform, and like the
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: songs went on and they played a video as well,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: which I will say, beautiful video, very emotional, gorgeous, fantastic,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: nice touch went for ten minutes.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: We were very trump then very trump beautiful. I was
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: in it. Nice.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: It was ten minutes long, ten minutes.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Thank you what thank you.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: I don't know how long it should be. What's this the
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: length of that song? What's that song that's on every
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: graduation video? Like as we go, that's how long a
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: video should be. She'd be like two and a half minutes.
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: I mean, I get it.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Every parent will see their kid, and a lot of
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: them were there from when they were like little bebars
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: to now, so there's a lot of con tend to
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: get through. But Mariyd only joined quite late. So once
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: I saw Marley twice, I was like.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Wrap it up. Yeah, the production is terrible.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: We didn't get out of it until seven thirty.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Thank you. That sucks. It was long. That's too long.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: It was too long, too.
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: Long, way too We were like nine thirty two, ten
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: thirty and they had and then you.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Have food yours.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: We had donuts, just donuts and some sushik.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: What do they say? We had in Eleanor Heights woolworst muffins. Sorry,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I'm going go, but yeah, it was lovely.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: But we got in the car and I was like,
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: that went for bloody ages and I was like that
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: was really long, and Marley was like it was long,
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: and I.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Was like damn it. She can spell and read.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Now I will say I made a big mistake.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Ash, I'm very good. A mistake, No, I know, very good.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Up until now, we had one orientation left at school
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: for Marley to attend. We even bought the uniform because
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Marley was like, this's the first two she didn't wear
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: a uniform. So she's been wearing uniform every night. We're
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: in the uniform to daycare as well. And then Marley
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: was like, hey, Dad, when's my next orientation? And I
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: was like, it's coming up. Check the calendar missed it
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: by a week.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: What are you going to do? I said.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: The teachers were so impressed that every child and the orientation,
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: they said they don't need one more.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: They'll just say see you brighton early next year, February.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: And she's like really. I was like, yeah, he did
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: so good.
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: Wow, Wow, it is where your uniform to school week,
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: well to preschool week this week.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: So askars very excited.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: And he does his thing where he knows he's not
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: asking if he can do something, but he's telling me
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: in a way of asking me if you can do something.
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: For example, I was like, go and get your new
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: school hat for next year because you can wear that today.
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: And he comes out and goes, but we're not allowed
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: to take out new school.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Bags, are we? Because he wants to do he wants
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: to and.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: I was like no, no, I was like, no, Bud, sorry,
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: we'll save it, save it for next year.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: But I think that's very clear. I like, I like
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: his approach. Evil genius, isn't it? So?
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Laura and I ash, I think this was Laura, my wife,
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Laura married to Laura lady. She's great, very good, but
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: a lucky man. So when she steals our content, I mean,
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: you saw that Laura watching parenting lines. We'll bring parenting
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: lines back next year.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: When Laura stuffs next year, she's got like two doting mums.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: You're like, what, you know, it'd be better than us
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: as well. Damn it. I know.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: So it was a time of the month, and the
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: time of the month had finished, right, we're both keen,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: we're on the same page. And Laura had a life
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: uncut Christmas dinner thing on the Saturday and she goes,
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: don't worry, it's gonna be really quick, have dinner.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: I'll be home not too late. Italian somewhere I was
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: speaks for the invite. I don't know, right, I was.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Nos, because garlic is not agreeing with her at the moment.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Have we spoken about before?
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, fuck, she's gone to Italian well
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: known for using their garlic.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Those Italians in their garlic, think they love it.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Also, I thank them for it.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh they know what they're doing, very delicious. Listen
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: mill and so, like eight thirty, nine o'clock, nine thirty,
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: and I was like, what.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Are you doing anxiously waiting up?
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just sitting on the couch of the direction.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: She'll be home soon, I promise. And I was like,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: how far off are you so she.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: Gets home, it's like eleven thirty.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: If anyone who's married, that's way past sex. That's like,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: that's the you could potentially be.
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: Having sex in two days. Yes, you could go over
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: into the next day.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Sunday.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Sunday nights not a sex night Sunday morning either, Sunday
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: never never never if you go from like eleven thirty,
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: but then on Monday night, it's not a sex night
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: for us. Tuesday maybe maybe Wednesday night.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: You pretty much put yourself out another one.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: It's so yeah, I'm steering und the barrel of a famine,
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: a week long famine. Laura comes in and she's like,
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: we're doing it. Get upstairs, shut up, take your eyes off.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I'd be fast sleep. It's very tired. I think I
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: even said. I was like, I don't want it to
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: be like rush tired sex.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: You're like pretending you're like, oh to' still like knocking
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: over chairs and my directions, I'm walking up the stairs.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: So then we do the.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Dedde was great, and then at five five yeah, five cool,
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: five good to know five. So then just about to
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: fall asleep, a lovely said nothing better than a sleep
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: after sex, cigarette and asleep. I never had a cigarette,
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: fell asleep with it. Nice as someone who used to smoke. Nah, okay,
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: put that to bed.
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: So you never smoked after there's a there's an old
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: joke that says like, do you smoke after sex? It's like,
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: I don't know, I've never looked. Okay, you don't get it.
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: Do you smoke after sex? Like because you're so hot
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: or yeah, because it's the friction. And then you're like, no,
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: I never checked.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: So then we're bout to fall asleep. We start to hear.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: We start to hear a little cry Ellie, it was
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: Marley ah. And you know what ailment really does, sacash
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: and earache.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: It's one of those things we I don't know what's
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: wrong with me.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like nah, and you're like you can't do anything,
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: and you're also eyes and ears quite nerve wracking.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like it would be it would be.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Really frustrating if she went deaf and then they're like,
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: what happened? I said, well, I just I ignored the
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: signs and she went deaf and I didn't do anything.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: We were having sex. That's okay. So once a week
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: we haven't oh well.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: And so she was in agony screaming, and I was like,
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: is it a burst ear drup? Maybe an insect.
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: Sicata, maybeicada or maybe should just heard you guys love making.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: I'm a quiet lover, thank you very much. I've been
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: told that.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: And Laura was like after fifteen minutes, she was like,
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: we won't have to go to hospital. So she's crying
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: so much and she's just going, oh my, got it
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: hurt so much? We were thinking it was a burst
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: ear drum and I was like, fuck, fuck cash, Like
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: the last thing I want to do is go to
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: shut Royal Children's Hospital. It's now like after midnight.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: You've just had sex, just had sex, you know. I
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: got just walking there? Who smells like sex in here? Thankfully?
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Think it dozed her up on like panadole went to
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: sleep yep, wake up and I was like, Molly, how's
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: your ear?
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: And she goes, what are you? I was like, you're
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: crying last night for years. He goes, no, it wasn't.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: That was what a you're talking about. It must have
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: been one of your other kids. It was like this
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: phantom earache. Yeah, right, fucking who knows? She was dreaming.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: I think it was a nightmare.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: But she was in agony bro screaming holding her ear,
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: being like it hurts.
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: Weird nothing since nothings, the phantom, the mystery of the
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: earache that never existed.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: Have you had that? No?
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, listen to questions. Yes, we've got a couple here.
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: Oh this is a good one actually, Dannielle. Danielle, Danielle, Danielle.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: This is from Dan Darnel. Can you give a little
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: shout out? Isn't that enough of a shadow?
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: It's free Ronniere Danielle, thank you for the great question.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Danielle. Shout out to Danielle, thanks for writing in we
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: love you, Thanks so much. That good enough for you?
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Very good, very good.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: I'm sure she is back.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: When are siblings too old to bathe together? That is
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: a very good question.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: She did also add a little line in there I
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: saw wants to know and sharing a room as well.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I think I was showering with my brothers when I
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: was like thirteen. I think, I think.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: What that's been old? Were there any pubes involved? Couple?
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: I remember? I think, I does your brothers say one sister?
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: My mom was in there, she's out numbered. No, I think.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: I think I have my older brother who is maybe
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: like five years older than me.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: And he still wanted to do it.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: Don't shame me and my family for what we did
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: when we were younger. I remember being like, what are they?
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Because he had pubes. That's my penis mustache. I was like,
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: good A look spread them. Is that too old? Yes?
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: It is too old? Is it? Yes? I look Oscar Macy.
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: I'm at the point now I need to separate them
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: because they's get the big close.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: What you don't know? It's innocent, But I'm like separ eight.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I just I don't know. I think
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Actually, yesterday on the weekend.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: We were down at the beach and we were going
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: to the beach shower and I stripped Macy off. She's
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: completely naked out of the shower. But Oscar was like,
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: I don't want to take my shorts off because I
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: wanted to get the sand off him. And they'll be like, no, no, no,
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: he's getting older.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: There was other young girls around, like teenage girls.
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: He's like, I don't want to and I was like, oh, okay,
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: you can just shower in your shorts, you know what
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: I mean. So it's like he's getting to an age
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: and they will And I don't know, every kid's going
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: to be different. I suppose with how how they what
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: they know about their body, I guess, And like I think.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: I just we were at the beach on the weekend
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: as well, and we walking down to the beach.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: You're like, I was like, I had the buggaboo.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: It was facing forward, so with a shade up, I
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: couldn't really see what Lola was doing. But afterwards we
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: took the Simons off put address on her was walking
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: down the promenade Upondo Beach, which is very busy, especially
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: on the weekend. I stopped and just like peered over
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: the cover to make sure she was okay, legs spread,
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: just having a little play.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, what are you doing? She's like what
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I know?
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: Because there's a fine line where don't want to shame them.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: No, I'm like freak.
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: But like Oscar makes you share a bath, boy and girl,
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: and look, sometimes they find themselves in weird positions. I'm like,
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: what the fuck like, especially like Oscar, you're older, don't
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: put your hand on your dick in front of your sister.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: And I don't know.
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: I don't know what the answer is. I'm not someone
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: tell the tells the answer, and is it? Like I said,
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: Oscar's sort of like getting going to primary school next year.
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: I think it's time that you can come and have
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: a shower, bro, and let your sister have a bath
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: or whatever. I just don't it's different with you girls.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's grade one, grade two, that's when
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: it starts, obviously, unless you in my household.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: N Yeah, came on to your eighteen formative.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: I used to I used to share a room with
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: my sister when we were fourteen.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you've clothed, very different. That's right. It would
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: be weird if you were separate beds. So my kids
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: share a room, your kids share? What about your sister?
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: My sister, we had separate rooms, never shared. It must
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: be nice.
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: No, it was a rental, my lad. I used to
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: sleep in the hallway. No, we had separate We've always
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: had separate rooms. I only ever used to have a
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: bath with dad, but like he would have speedos on
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: when I was at an older age.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: But like fourteen is too old that much.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: Tell that to my mother. Oh, well, don't you are
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: she's upstairs.
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: Do you want explains a lot that you let your
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: kids bath together for so long?
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: They're really closed? Next question, are you guys? From who
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: this is from? You want to give them a shout out?
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: This is this is from me, shout out to out,
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: very good, Thank you, thank you. I needed that. Thank
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: you from me to you?
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Is your family? Are you in April?
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: Spit it out and you and April's we have time for.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: You doing elf in the shell?
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: Why do I need to give myself something else to
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: worry about? Don't you want to funk with your kids
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: a little bit? No? I see all those on just
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: like one was like cutting the clothes off a kid.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: It was like ruined the shirt.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: Firstly, do your kids know what elf and the shelf? Okay,
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: so my kids didn't know either.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Who told them? So we're not an elf in the
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Shell family.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: Laura is not an elf in the Shell family collectively,
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: not an elf in the Shell family.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: Why would you would you want to be?
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: So Sunday weekend just gone. Kids are together and kids
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: are kind of sharing stories and they were like, hey,
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: have you guys got the magic elf at your house?
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: And Marley was going, magic elf, what are you talking about?
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: And the kids were like, We've got an elf elf
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: on the shelf and every night he magically moves.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: He spring us to life.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: As soon as we go to bed and we wake up,
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: he's in a different spot.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: And Marley was like, holy shit. She couldn't believe it.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: We say goodbye to our and niss and nephews and
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: then Marley's like, Dad, I think we better start looking.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: We might have a magic elf a home.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Nope.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: I was like, there's no on ed. Molly was like,
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: but how do you know? And I was like because
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen one, and she's like yeah, but he
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: might be hiding. And I was like, oh, yeah, I
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: guess maybe, and she's like, I'm.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Gonna I'm gonna find him.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: So we get home and she's looking everywhere, like upstairs,
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: in the cupboards. At one point she was like, I
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: know where he is. In the washing machine. Fuck that
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: cheeky yelf ran in there. She's like, not there. She's like,
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: I know he's here, somewhere. And I was like, Mally,
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, if he was here, I would have
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: seen him. And then and then outside there was like
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: a little plastic pop plant that had no plant in it,
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: and augusta wind came and it blew over and.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Molly was like, he's here. That was it? Wasn't it
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: any little sign like or something like knocks off the table.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: She's like, fuck, oh, just I stier clear doing it. It
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: looks like so much effort.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: But part of me is like, maybe that was him.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: You're right, Marley, I just I think I heard him upstairs.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Quick check if he's there. This is my gripe with it.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: We've already got a if there's kids in the car
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: whole ho ho. It's Santa here. Boys and girls, please
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: cover your ears during this next bit hide the Santa thing.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: I gotta give more of a warning than that. You
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: can't be like kids in the car.
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: No, if there's kids in the car, boys, that's too
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: late now whatever. So I took them to see Santa
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: doing the Santa photo, okay, and we finished it in
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: the Santa photo and we happened to be the last
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: one before the break.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Anyway, I'm walking away with Oscar and Santa's.
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: Gone around the corner taking his head off pretty much
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: like his master.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: And was like, he's like, what's he doing?
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: Did?
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: I was like, nohing, would he do that behind closed doors?
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: I think he thought he was. I thought he was
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: out of the way. He's like, he's like d.
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: And then so I've already got to hide the fact
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: once again.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: If you've got kids in this answer is not real.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Why are we now doing this thing and putting more
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: pressure on parents to doing the show.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: I think I'm going to do it, and I'm just
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: going to test the waters, just see what it's like,
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: see if she's into it.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, a report back work, got any ideas of
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: what you're going to do with the elf? Fah no yet?
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: I might cut her a fringe and so she wakes
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: up and then there's like a pair of scissors and
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: then there's a hair and.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like it was the magic girlf Oh my god.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: It's like, isn't that fucked up? People do that stuff
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: that is fucked not us.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: That was a joke, Ash. This is our last episode potentially.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: Ever, of the year God of twenty twenty four? Yes?
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: What what?
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: What are we laughing at?
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: Its just like it was like, you know, like it's
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: a big moment. You know, it's like it's the Light's
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: the last one.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: Well that no, I'm out here.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: We will be back next week on Christmas Day. Yeah,
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: but it will be a best of. We hope you
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: all have a great Christmas, all of you. We'll chat
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: to you guys next week for a best of we will,
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: and then we will be back early next year.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Don't forget to buy the calendar. Okay, calendar, for God's sake,
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, not two. We've got twenty left. There's
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: only limited amounts left. There's twenty left. Please twenty left,
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: Please buy them.
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: All proceeds go to a very good course which is
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: Victims of Domestic Violence, which is Rise Up of course,
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: so you can buy the budge my website link.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: I was going to say sorry, sorry, go and finish
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: it off. Link. Is it in the show notes?
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: Review, subscribe comments, join us on social media at Two
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: Doting Dads. We'll see you guys next year, next year.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: Yes, Merry Christmas, Happy New Years.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: I just really want to go to the bank.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: That's good.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: A good Christmas, goodbye bye.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: In your mind. Just a little quick story. Okay, I've
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: heard a little quick one after your one.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: A little little quick one before we go into listening
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: question A little one. Oh no, that's what I'm saying.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: Well, don't you.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: Well go on, go on please, Two Doting Dads podcast
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: connections to land, see and community.
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: Islander people's today.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: This episode was recorded on Gadigle Land