Latest / The You Project / #1670 The Calm In The Chaos - Dr. Jodi Richardson

Transcript

#1670 The Calm In The Chaos - Dr. Jodi Richardson · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I'll get a team. Welcome to another installment of for
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: You project. My name's Craig Garthy. But doctor Jodi Richards
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and Tiffany and Cook we're all here. Slow down a
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: little bit, Taytay, take your time. Mum used to tell
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: me when I was little, ta take your time because
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I used to talk too fast. It's hard to believe, Tiff,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: isn't it.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Who wit you? Talking fast? Talking lots?
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Slow down, talking a lot, believe. Yeah, the fat, attention
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: seeking only child. Doctor Jody Richardson, Welcome back. How are you.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm really good.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Actually, just come back from a little holiday, so that
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: was nice.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Where'd you go?
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Went to the Gold Coast? Typical Australian family holiday destination.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: It's no, It's no India, is it, Tiff.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: It's no India, that's for sure. No mountain.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: I know I've been following you online. Tif How incredible
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: is that?
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: A little piece of Everest, A little bit of not Everest,
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: but a little bit of the Himalayas that I'm carrying
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: around everywhere I go.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Wow, what.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I'm interested to and I mean this genuinely, I'm interested
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: to see the ongoing the flow on and that's not
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: there's no doubt there, there's just curiosity. Are you interested yourself? Me?
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: I am yeah, I actually am like I'm in the
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: middle of it and I'm kind of sitting on the
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: outside at the same time. It's it's it's a thing.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: It's a whole thing.
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: I didn't expect.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Are you being the observer of youew or trying to
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: be the observer of you? Have you getting your ear
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: cart on?
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Kind of kind of just what it happens.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: It's very interesting because we live in this world where
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: you and I and doctor Jodi, we all we talk
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: about this stuff and we're interested in it, and we're
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: in the middle of it and we're doing it. And
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: then sometimes things come left to field and this whole
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: new shift and this whole newtive and it's like, oh yeah,
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: all right, let's evaluate all of this. It's really cool.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: And you know what's interesting is us pseudo academics. Well,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Jody is an actual academic. I'm a pretend academic. But
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: we think we're all over it because we're fucking researching
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: the mind, right, I'm doing a PhD. I'm researching the mind.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I'm researching how people think. Well, guess what the fucking
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: the mystics have known this ship for thousands of years,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: millions of years. You're way way late to the party.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Harps jumbo, do better. All the spiritual gurus know the
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: shit that you're now learning.
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: It's like funny, though, you come to a conclusion and
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: then the way you The thing that seems to excite
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: a lot of us the most is when we can
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: link it back to the early days and it's like see,
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: it's like, see, I found this new thing that already existed.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Well, I remember when I started, Jody, We'll get to
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: you eventually, you know.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Chilling.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I remember when I started my PhD. On day one
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: or day two, I was I was just trying to
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: find a bit of the origin story of self awareness,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: you know. And was it Socrates I think said the
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: beginning of wisdom is to know thyself. Well that was
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: written I think two and a half thousand years ago.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: So this motherfucker was talking about self awareness before Jesus
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: was even here, right, And I'm thinking, so, I'm not
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: really breaking any new ground over here at all. I'm
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: just picking up rocks that have been picked up a
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: million times before and going, hey, look, everyone a rock
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: and all the fucking dead stoics and philosophers and you know,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: theologians are rolling their eyes going, no shit, you fucking
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: knew bie. Like literally, there's no new wisdom, is there?
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I mean there's nothing. There's new data, and there's new research,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: and there's new technology, but in terms of just human wisdom,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I don't really think there's a lot of new ship.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: What do you think, Jodi?
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: I think that.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: We need to find ways for the wisdom to relate
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: to us as individuals, and so we can read books,
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: we can listen to podcasts, we can watch YouTube videos.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: But what you've done tip is you've traveled and you've
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: taken time out, and you've experienced a new way of
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: thinking and living, and it always opens your mind when
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: you're traveling. But I do think that original ideas aren't
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: as common as we'd.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Like to think.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: But the wisdom that we develop within ourselves comes through
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: making sense of what others have said before us and
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: linking that with how we operate.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: In our day to day kind of lives.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: I think that there's lots of wisdom to be had,
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: but we become wise when we find ways to make
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: it our own. I suppose is what I'm trying to say.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Isn't it interesting how you can have the myriad of
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: conversations that all three of us have had and all
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: of our listeners have had. And then you know, tif,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: you and I and you and many others on your
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: show have spoken about, you know, life and thinking and
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: perspective and gratitude and fucking being still and consciousness and
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: awareness and purpose, and we have all of these meaningful
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Go look at us, Look how fucking smart we are.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Look at the quality of this fucking exchange, this cerebral
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: fucking gem, you know, And then you just go walk
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: in bare feet on a mountain on the other side
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: of the world and meet some beautiful people who go,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: you know, and then it's like you have these light
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: bulbs that you never have in a conversation.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: I was thinking about wisdom just just today. Actually not.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: There's knowledge, and we do all this knowledge seeking and
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: then we apply strategies and practices and we put it
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: into place and we evolve ourselves and we take some
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: of that as wisdom. But then there was just like
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: I experienced these moments where a whole level of wisdom
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: just shifts in you and you go I know things
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: differently now, not through knowledge or the strategies or of practice.
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: Some wisdom came to me, But I think that's the
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: difference between wisdom and knowledge, and I don't think it
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: can be taught. And I think everyone's version of wisdom
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: is different. It's a personal thing. Or that's my interpretation
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: of that word at this moment.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I reckon, I reckon, you could exchange. I could be wrong,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: But what you're talking about as wisdom could be insight
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: or awareness. Also, Yeah, it's like I've got a different
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: level of understanding or insight or awareness now as well.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I think those things are into and I think, like,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: you know, there's knowledge and then there's what you do
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: with the knowledge. Now, what you do with the knowledge,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: that's an indicator of wisdom or intelligence. Perhaps, you know
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: a lot of people know a lot of shit but
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: don't operationalize it in a way that makes their life better,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: you know, which is why we have unhealthy doctors and
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: unhealthy personal trainers. No disrespect to doctors or trainers, but
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: it's true. It's like knowing stuff doesn't guarantee anything other
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: than you know stuff. You know? Yeah, So, Dr Jodi,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: how have you.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: Been I have been good. Actually, I've been.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Experiencing some new ways of recovery after exercise and just
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: to kind of like help me settle after some really
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: busy weeks of speaking and travel, and that includes ice
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: babs and saunas and frequencies for ner acoustics.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: I've been diving into.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Some different experiences, which has been pretty awesome. And I
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: realized I thought I was a hero when I stayed
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: in the ice bath for ten minutes when it is
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: nine degrees and then the next time I went back
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: and it was six degrees, I was in pain.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Two minutes was all I could manage. So yeah, like
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: life's been good.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: I've had lots of opportunities to connect and speak and
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: families well, and yeah, just a little family getaway has
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: been a nice recharge to kind of get us through
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: to the rest of the year and really thinking more
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: deeply myself about a more balanced life with more meditation
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: and more mindfulness. I really want to carve out more
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: time for quiet because I tend not to stop very much.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: So yeah, that's kind of what's been going on with me.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Beautiful, beautiful summary. What was that term you used? Did
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: you say neuroacoustics or something.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: Yes, there's science around the frequency of sounds and music
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: and how it can Actually it's quite interesting because there's
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: a at the Recovery Lab here in Mornington there is
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: a session called newcom and you hyphenalm and picture this harps.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: You said you've been in a hammock all day Tomorrow
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: you can try this. Picture this a recliner armchair. If
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: it's cool, they'll put a heated electric blanket under you.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: You lie back with a weighted blanket on top.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: You put a light blocking set of very comfortable goggles on,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: and then you put headphones on that play music at
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: frequencies and it moves between the two sides of the headphones.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: Put in left and right speakers and the I'm starting
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: to look into the science of it. But the idea
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: is that the frequency and that the sounds themselves can
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: really lull you into a very grounded.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: State in your nervous system.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: It's incredibly relaxing and really a very nice way to
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: kind of recalibrate. So yeah, So also that some of
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: the research you're showing that if you listen to music
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: at forty hurts that it can aid with learning motor
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: skills as well as cognitively as well. So I'm at
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: the tip of the iceberg with this reading that I've
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: been doing.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: But it's interesting, it's interesting.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I've opened that door a little bit too. So there's
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: a thing called binaural beats. B I na you are
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: al binaural beats and also white noise, brown noise, green noise.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: That yeah, all operate at those different hurts and frequencies.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: And it is funny, It's like, and you think, I
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: think also with this, I could be wrong, but I
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: think that different frequencies or hurts have a slightly different
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: impact on different people. It's not every hurts range produces
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: the same response in different people. But I've got a
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: bunch of stuff that I play at night when I
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: go to bed, and it's all that. It's that white noise,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: it's that brown noise, it's that. Yeah, have you opened
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: that door at all? Tip? The old you know, the calm,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: the farm music, the fucking the calm app.
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: Have I ever I used to listen to. I used
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: to subscribe to a beautiful meditation that you put your
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: noisecouncsling headphones on and the sound would move around your head.
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: It was like to buy neural beats as well. Yes,
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: you could hear somebody walking on leaves around your head.
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: It was beautiful. Now, I listened to a yoga nidra
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: before bed, and that just puts me straight to sleep.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: You know. One of the interesting things to come out
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: when I would sit with people. I sat with a
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: new lady this morning. I won't say her name, shout out.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: She knows who she is. But sometimes I'll sit with
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: someone and I go, all right, let's talk about what
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: you want and don't want. So we go through this
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: whole checklist of things in their life, you know, from
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: house to car, to job, to relationships to you know.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: But ultimately then we come back to the psychological and
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: emotional and you might say spiritual depending on your You know,
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: where you're at and what you think and what you believe.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: But so many people, apart from the basics of I
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: want to be able to pay the bills and feed
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: the kids, which is of course understandable, but beyond that,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: and this relates to you, doctor Jody of course, and
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: all of us, but they just want to be calm,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: like they just don't want they don't want that inner turmoil.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: It's like the thing that they want is really a
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: conduit to to be calm, to be less stressed, to
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: not be the overthinker, to not be agitated, to not
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: be worried. And it's like when you go, well, what's
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: the opposite of all of that shit? It's peace, you know,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: it's tranquility, it's calm. It's it's that you know, like
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: we all apart from we want a few other things.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Of course we want purpose and focus, but none of us,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: you know, don't want to have that internal state of
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: joy and calm, do we?
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: I agree, And I think that we live a life.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: I just had a conversation for my podcast this morning
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: with a really interesting guest, and we were talking. She
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: was talking about all the exit ramps that we have
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: from disconnection. Sorry, all the exit ramps that we have
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: was the raising shoes from connection with each.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Other and with ourselves.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: And I was just thinking, literally, people can go from
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: the very moment they wake and usually pick up their
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: phone to the moment they go to bed, usually on
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: the phone in bed, scrolling or whatever, and very little
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: space for the brain to just rest for contemplation, for
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: that calm in the nervouses and even in the car
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: this morning.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Our daughter was on her phone.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: She's limited to two hours a day, but she was
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: in the car and I said, put it down.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: We don't have to have the radio on.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: We can just actually give our brains a little break,
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: a little rest from the input.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: And I don't know what.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Is that drives us all so furiously to feel every
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: minute of every day, but that sense of calm is
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: within reach for us if we know how. And before
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: joining you here, I did a non sleep deep rest
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: because I honestly could have just fallen asleep and had
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: a nap. So I set my alarm because I feel
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: super tired. Probably daylight savings. But there are tools that
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: we can use. We just need to prioritize it that
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: we have access to that more than perhaps what we
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: might realize, but we never stopped to use them because
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: we feel like, oh, I got to keep going, there's
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: no time. And the irony of it is that we
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: are cut our lives shorter and we're missing out on
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: actually enjoying the people around us and the things that
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: we're doing because we're just always looking for, you know,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: what we need to tick off and move to next.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: So yeah, it's definitely something I've been thinking about and
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: talking to my eye rolling teenager.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Isn't that you sound like a mum, but it is
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: so true. Like I'm I've become aware that I'm on
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: my phone more than I should be. I need to
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: be on my phone at times because of my work,
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: but I'm on it way more than I need to be.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: You know, my intention every morning, unless I'm coaching someone
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: or meeting with someone. But I get to the cafe
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: at quarter past six, and you know, I fuck around
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. This is my plan. And then from kind
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: of six thirty to seven thirty, just emails, planning, writing notes,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: you know, blah blah blah. But sometimes I look up
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: and at seven thirty and I've been fucking around for
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: an hour and a quarter. Like just the thing, too,
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: is like, once the algorithm or whatever it is, understands
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: what you pay attention to, I'm fucked because all it's
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: got to do is just oh, look like with Tiff,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: all it is is, here's another puppy, you know, that'll
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: get me a baby go for me. It's like, oh,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: here's another motibike, brand new motibike who does a million
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: miles an hour. You know, or whatever it is. But yeah,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I've I've really had to. I've started to put my
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: phone in the other room. And because even when I
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: doing some things, but even now I'm aware, it's like
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: it's here, it's upside down and it's turned off. But
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I I wish I had remembered before the thing to
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: put it in the other room because I'm better. I
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: know that's done. But even if it's turned off and
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: facing down, it still occupies three percent of my brain. Yeah,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: nowhere near me. Yeah, my focus is better go on, Yeah, totally.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: And that that's I think.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: I've heard Paul Taylor talk about this for about the
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: research showing that if it's just oh Christie, doctor Christy Goodman,
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: perhaps it was probably both. If it's even within our eyesight, eyeline,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: you know that it does, it does. It's got this pool.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: It's like this magnetic pool, and even if we're not
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: picking it up, we can withstand that it is occupying
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: a certain portion of our attention. And it's designed that way.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: And you know, I think about, oh my gosh, like
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: kids with phones and the algorithm. And one thing that
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: I learned recently at a conference. I don't know whether
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: or not you've heard this Tier four harps, but something
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: like TikTok for example, you would think that the videos
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: that you like, you know, you actually actively press the
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: heart button on, would be the ones that the algorithm
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: would say, yes, she likes this, he likes that, send more.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: In fact, the algorithm is designed to send you more
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: of what you spend time on, even if you don't
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: actively engage with the post. And there's fascinating and quite
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: terrifying research around eating disorders, for example, whereby if you
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: in starting to get that kind of information in your feed,
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: you might even get videos that are really unappealing, like
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: they're hard to look at because there might be somebody
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: who's extremely underweight, for example, but we tend to focus
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: on those, and we might linger a little bit longer
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: on a video like that, and that young women with
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: eating disorders are getting served up just a disproportionate amount
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: of these kinds of videos.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: And yet, like, intellectually we know that we're on our.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: Phones and it's junk or it's just time wasting, but
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: it's incredibly hard to actually go, oh, snap out of it,
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: put it down and get on with something more meaningful.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: It's hard for us as adults, so it's near impossible
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: for our teens so tough.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I've had this conversation with somebody who works in their
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: space and there are actually influences in inverted commas who
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: teach generally young girls, but we'll say young people how
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: to essentially how to be anorexic and how to dress,
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: how to get away with it, how to trick people
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: to think that you're eating.
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's there's some there's some devastatingly toxic stuff, you know.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: At our disposal, I want to I want to ask
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: both you a hardish question. I'll start with you Jody,
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: so tif this gives you a little bit of think
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: time because it's the same question right now for you,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: doctor Jody, what is being courageous for you? What's the
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: thing that you need to be courageous about that for
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: you is scary, but you know you need to lean
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: into it or step into it to whatever. What's the
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: thing that scares you but you know you need to
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: do it?
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Oh well, I can't.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: Anything that is big enough in my life to be
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: scaring me at the moment. But I've been thinking about
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: what do I need to introduce into my life that
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: will scare me somewhat right, And I'm not practicing karate anymore,
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: and that was that took courage and commitment to not
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: only obviously stick to the training but also grade. And
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: I have been in a couple of competition fights, which honestly,
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: I'll try to see if I can dig out of video,
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Craig and send it to you.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: I think I've said that to you before. I'll see
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: if I can find one.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: I'm kind of feeling at a point in my life
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: where doing the things that require courage Now. I guess
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: recently getting in a nice bath that was hard, but
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: it's you know, it's just being comfortable. Sorry, it's not
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: really been. It was just about tolerating the discomfort. I
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: don't think that really required courage. Yeah, so you've really
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: got me thinking, you know, I guess I need to
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: show up more online. I need to spend more time
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: kind of promoting I guess what I do that That
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: does make me feel anxious, but I do it. And
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: I've got so many blocks on my social media on
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: my phone during the day that it's a there's a
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: lot of friction to even post.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: A quick.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: But yeah, you've you've asked a question that I can't
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: really answer, and not because I'm not willing like I'm
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: always willing to say.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: You know, we've got some really.
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: Hard stuff going on at the moment with like Pete's
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: mum has Alzheimer's and my my dad's in a world
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: of pain, and there are very big challenges we're facing.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: But I don't I can't think of anything that's drawing
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: on a huge amount of courage at the moment, and
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: it's something I'd like to address.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: So I'm not sure how.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Wow, maybe things are good. That's always good. What about
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: you tipany and cook? Is there anything that brings to
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: mind when I ask that?
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think especially coming back and having some clarity
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: about what I need to do and what I want
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: to do and what's not working. It takes courage when
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: you wake up each day and you realize you have
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: to change the routine and the behaviors that you now know,
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: Like it's because you know when you realize what's underneath,
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: Like when for people like me, when you sit and
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: actually realize why do I stay busy twenty four to seven?
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: Like one of the things when I got to India,
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: one of the questions I thought of from nowhere? Is
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: living alone really the best for me? Should I get
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: out of my comfort zone and get a bigger apartment
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: and just share it with another human because my social
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: health probably requires some love.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: But also you do have that baseball cap that says fuck.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Off, though exactly, I'll tell you know what. I'll tell you.
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: This feels funny, and like when I was in India,
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: this took courage and I realized the significance of it afterwards.
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: We shared some really deep stuff in our first night
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: on the mountain with the other people. Everybody shared things
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: they'd never shared I'd share. I shared things in full
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: that I'd never shared with anyone as well, So we
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: had a really big connection. A lot of people on
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: this show. No, my background is of childhood sexual abuse,
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: so there's a lot of stuff there with men and
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: trust and all of the things, and testing myself when
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: I talked about that. And then I had one night
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: in Delhi before Shannon flew back from the mountain and
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: I was like, well, I can't I live. The hotel
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: was very scary, and Dellie and I went to the
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: gym and I was chatting to this guy, this guy
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: that lived.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: In South Indian India, and he.
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: Invited me to come for dinner. After we were chatting Brady,
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: he goes, I'm going to go for dinner you want
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: Do you want to come? And I said yes. And
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: then I was like sitting in my room, going, You're
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: in a country you don't know, that's terrifying, with more
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: people in the whole place than there is in all
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: of Australia, and You're going to go meet some stranger
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: in the lobby who's going to take you to some
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: place that he says he's going to take you. I'm like,
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: is this a good idea? No one knows where you are?
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: And this is I.
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: Put the story on Facebook because it was quite funny
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: what happened, Like we got a bloody tire blowout in
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: the you, but then we had to cature two trains
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: to get there. And I'm thinking, am I like? Am
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: I going to go to dinner?
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Am I going to be on the.
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: News next week? But afterwards, the significance of trusting myself
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: to judge the character of the man I just met,
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: and to set a boundary and to speak up and
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: to be clear in what I was agreeing to was
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: a really, really courageous thing for me to do and
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: it felt significant.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: So yeah, awesome, awesome, And how did you so you
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: didn't get chopped up and turned into a cast role,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: So that's good. I thought that that was ever going
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: to happen. But how so how did you feel? Firstly,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: was it a good night?
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: It was brilliant, Like we went to Old Deli and
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: it was chaos, right, and I wouldn't have seen that.
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't And I said to him, this was really
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: I'm really glad I said yes to doing this. I
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: would never have seen this at this time of night,
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: and I never would have had that crazy, funny story.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: And he was really polite and really accommodating and it
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: was wonderful.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great, that's great. How do you I mean,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: you two as it's a bit different for you, Jody
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: because you're married, but you've both been through like navigating
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: a big part of your life relationships. And I'm a dude,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: so I don't get it like a woman gets it,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: because you know, I don't have to assess risk in
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: the way that you two have to assess risk. Right,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: how do you How did you navigate all of that? Jody?
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: With figuring out who to trust and who not to trust,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: and what to say yes to and know to. Is that, like,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: is that a real cognitive psychological thing or is that
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: an instinctive or intuitive thing? What was that? What is
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: that for you?
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, I was.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: Reflecting a couple of days ago, how lucky I was.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: I didn't get myself into any real trouble as sort
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: of a teenager or young adult going out and being
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: very trusting, being very trusting, and not having any sense
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: of listening to my gut or even perhaps noticing that
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: my guts maybe telling me don't and then ignoring it.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: I started to become again like with karate, I started
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: that when I was forty.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: That was when I first.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: Really started to think about, you know, my own gut
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: and listening to that, my own personal safety. I was
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: terrified as a new driver at eighteen nineteen years of age,
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: when the Paul Charles Daniel, the serial killer in Frankston
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: was you know, taking women and killing them, and one
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: of them died right near my high school. One of
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: them died right near where I had netle training. It
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: was all very close to home, so I had this
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: sense of fear. But I didn't have this instinctive understanding
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: about what my body could tell me about safety and danger.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: And you know what you were saying.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: Before, Tiff, when you said you were like asking the question,
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: and Craig you asked about courage. You know, I guess
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: I went straight to, oh, courage has to be you know,
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: something big. But it I think sometimes courage is just
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: facing the world every day. It doesn't always have to be,
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: you know, a raw It can be a little whisper
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: sometimes just to say no or to do something that's
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: a little bit out of your comfort zone. Anything like
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: that can take courage. So my answer before was kind
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: of about the big things, but it does take courage to,
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: like tif, when you're in a situation like that, to
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: be invited somewhere and to be offered an opportunity and
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: then to listen to that guard instinct and to say, actually,
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: something about this does doesn't feel right.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: I am always on alert. I am always with.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: My head on a sivol when I'm walking to my car,
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: you know, sometimes parked in multi story car parks in Melbourne.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: When I'm speaking at an event and I'm walking there
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: on my own, I'm on high alert now and much
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: more tuned in to myself. But you know, when my
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: dad was in hospital recently after having a stroke and
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: I was walking from the emergency department back to my car,
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: my brother was visiting. I said to him, gosh, it's
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: a long dark walk for any nurses who are parked
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: over here, and he said, I would have never thought
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: of that. It would never have crossed my mind, the
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: safety considerations, and so it's very front of.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: Mine for me now.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: But yeah, gosh, I put myself in some positions when
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: I was younger that I could have been in trouble.
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: But thankfully, you know, I'm not in a casserole somewhere either.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Thankfully, I think I love this conversation because I'm the same.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I would think about it, but only because of I
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: spend time with people like you two, right, But in
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: my natural habitat, I would never think about it. It's
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: like nearly every night in my life, many nights, probably
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: three hundred nights a year, I go for a walk
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: in the dark late and I go I walk in
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: bare feet, and I walk around suburb and I have
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: headphones on. So if someone hock and let's not put
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: any suggestions out there, but you know, it's like, I
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: don't even think about it, and if I see someone
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: walking towards me, I have no fear. I'm not saying
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: that's because I'm a fucking legend. I'm not, you know,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: but I just don't whereas if I was, if I was,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: you know, a smaller, less strong female, I guess I
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: would probably walk to the other side of the road
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: or maybe he fucking you know. But yeah, when you're
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: a dude and you're big and kind of strong and whatever, yeah,
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: we don't have to think about that, you know, And
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: so it's such a different like doing the same thing
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: as a different experience, right, TIV.
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you just made me think of I was walking
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: home one day and I was just near my house
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: and in the dark, and there was this person walking
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: towards me and a bit wobbly and out of sorts,
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: and you know when people look like, oh, this person
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: looks under the influence on high alert. And from a distance,
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: they looked up and was a female, and she smiled
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: and she said hi or said something, and she had
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: a physical some sort of a physical disability that was
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: making her walk like that. And I felt like this
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: rush of two emotions. I felt really grateful that she,
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: as a female, obviously knew it was dark and there
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: was something odd about how she was walking and that
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: would elicit fear in somebody else. And then I felt
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: really kind of guilty at myself for judging someone who
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: had to highlight that and have a disability and was
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: thinking more of me than them, Like it was, Yeah, I.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: Don't think I don't think you judged. I think that's
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: just like your brain's job is to protect you, so
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: your brain recognizes things, and it would have been you know,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: it could have been in nine out of ten, on
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: nine turn out of twenty instances, someone kind of stumbling
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: towards you would have meant something different. So there's no
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: conscious nasty judgment in that. But another just will finish
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: this bit of the conversation. Anyway, if I'm walking in
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: the dark and somebody's on the same side of the
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: street walking towards me, and it's a female, I will
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: cross the road so they don't feel scared. Or if
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: I walk out my side gate, you know where that
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: is tif right, If I walk out my side gate
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: and somebody is two steps ahead of me as I
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: walk out, and it's a lady I will not follow them.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: You know. It's like I'm heading left and they're walking left.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: They're two steps in front of me. I walk out
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: the gate. Now I'm fucking six feet behind them walking.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: I know that that's potentially fucking terrifying. So I'll walk
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: to the other side of the road and head in
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: the direction, but not near. I just I'm very you know,
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I'm very aware of that. Like most of the people
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: that I coach and mentor and most of our listeners
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: and most of the people who come to my workshops, women,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: and so I just I have this, and I'm very
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: grateful for my job because it's given me an insight
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: and an awareness that I would, you know, if I
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: was no disrespect to the plumbers, But if I was
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: a plumber, I wouldn't have this, you know, this level
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: of awareness that I have because of my job, although
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: maybe maybe plumbers do, I don't know.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that, Jody.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: We're not going yet, but you and I are speaking
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: at you and I are talking at a gig next
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: week a what do we call it? Do we call
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: it a collai? It's called a late and it's being
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: run by no Elevate.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: Isn't it no relate late relate but.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Good thing, good thing. I'm not in charge of pr
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: Jody and I are talking at an event called Relate,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: which is being put on by eighty nine point nine
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: l F in Melbourne's Positive Alternative and we're doing Tuesday
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: night and Wednesday night at two different locations. And what's
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: hilarious is one hundred years ago I used to do
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: a morning show on light FM called the Grand Standards
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: every Saturday with Jane O'Brien, the gorgeous Jon O'Brien for years.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Well I'm trying, By the way, do you know who
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: Jan O'Brien is, either of you to I don't so
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: lovely Jane fucking hell. I'll get back to the topic
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: in the moment, but this is worth dtering. So Jane
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: is an exercise physiologist. She's a gun, super smart. I
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: don't say this lightly, one of my top ten favorite
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: people in the world. And I know a lot of
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: people and just the most beautiful, generous soul. And I
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: can't talk too much or I get teary, but but
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: oh I take a breath, so.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: Thank your time.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: I'm a big baby. So anyway, she had cystic fibrosis,
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: which if you know anything about cystic fibrosis, it's not
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: consistent with a long life. And she had a thing
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: called bronchie extasis, which is worse right, And so her
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: lung capacity was down to I think somewhere around thirty percent.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: And I will fuck this story up a little bit,
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: but this is as well as I know it anyway.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: So we finished working together years ago. But after we
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: finished working, she just got sicker and sicker to the
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: point where she needed a double lung transplant. Oh gosh,
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: that was emotional, And isn't it funny how things I'm
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: fucking like people I care about, oh, which I care
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: about most people, doesn't take much. I'm a big fucking
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: big baby anyway, So yes, we're coming.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Back to this. I'm a big baby. But finish what
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: you were saying.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, I love crying on my own podcast.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't cry everyone. I almost cried, or I cried
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: a little bit. But Jane was Jane ended up in
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: hospital and intensive care needing a double lung transplant, on
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: a waiting list, and it was not looking great and
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: she was pretty much at death's door. And I might
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: fuck this bit up, so I might have to correct
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: this in another episode, but my understanding is that she
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: was very close to where they were about to switch
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: everything off and say, you know, and her husband Pete,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: who also I love, who's also a beautiful human, he
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: basically said, just give her another day or so, just
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: give her another day or so. And that day, I
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: think it was, I don't know, a few hours after
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: he pleaded with the medical staff to give her a
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: little bit more time. She got some lungs, and she
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: got some lungs, and so she's now ten months down
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: the track, and she's very alive, still recovering, and still
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: has a very, very whispery voice. I don't know how
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I started talking about Jane. I can't remember the origin
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: story for this, but light FM. Oh that's right, thanks Tiff. So, yeah,
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: we did Jane, and I had Jane and I had
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: a show for a very long time. And it's like,
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: you know, do you ever do Sometimes I'm a shit friend.
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: It's like I love people, but I feel like, because
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: she had all this going on, so we were talking, talking,
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: and then in the middle of all of it, and
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like I wasn't the best friend and I
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: meant to. I should have rung her a month or
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: two ago. I haven't spoken her for a while, and
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: I rang her last week and even ringing, I felt
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: guilty to ring, but then I couldn't leave it any
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: longer and I just started with I started with I'm
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: a shit friend. I apologize. I love you, I'm shit.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: You're a better human than me. Right But anyway, anyway,
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: that was a story no one needed here. But thank god, literally,
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: thank god she's on the mend and shout out to
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: you Joanie and family. But anyway, so you and I
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: are doing a gig for Light of FM. Tell everyone
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: what it's about because it's free. I don't know if
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: there are any tickets still available, but give us the snapshot.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So Tuesday the fifteenth and Wednesday the sixteenth, they're
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: the same event, essentially in two different locations. So one's
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: in the east of Melbourne and one is in the west.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: And I don't have the exact details of the locations,
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: but you'll find them on the website, which is eighty
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: nine point nine the light dot com dot are you
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: and yeah, it's they're free events for obviously you're speaking,
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: I'm speaking, doctor Danny Cheer is speaking. He's a child
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: and an adolescent psychiatrist. But it's not a parenting event. It's
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: an event, an event for people who want to come
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: along and learn ideas and get strategies and have connection
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: with people like us and each other who can help change,
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: you know, how they're experiencing their mental health. And I'm
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: going to be speaking about the science of happiness and wellbeing,
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: so I'm not going to be talking about anxiety per se.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: And yeah, they are magnificent events. I had the joy
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: of speaking last year and gosh, we must have had
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: about eight hundred odd people in the room. And the
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: connection people have with each other as well as you know,
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: with those of us that are lucky enough to have
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: a chance to get the microphone, very very special. So yeah,
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: free tickets. Need to reserve your seat by the website.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: You know. I don't know if I should tell this story,
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: but by the way, everyone, if you want to come along,
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: go to the tickets are free, which is an amazing,
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: an amazing opportunity. I think, not to see me, but
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: see the other two will be good. I'm up the end.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: I've been put up the back, so you can leave
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: after the first two if you want. But what was
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: it going to say to.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: You were going to tell a story that you said
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: you didn't think you should tell. But I think that's
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: every reason to tell it.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: That's right. So there was a point in time, like
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: I was working at Lighter FM, right, And it's not
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: like I was the most I was probably not in
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: some ways the best fit, but in some ways not
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: the best fit because I'm me and it was it's
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: now more a it's still a Christian based station, but
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: it's fair to say that I wasn't the high water up.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: But how you know, a person of that faith should
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: perhaps behave And I think what happened was I could
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: be wrong. I think they discovered I'd written a book
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: with fuck on the front, and I think I think
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: they well, I think they knew that, but I think
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: they started to get feedback from some of the listeners
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: and not my listeners, but just some of the people
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: that knew, Oh, they've got this guy on the show
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: on the station that has written a book called Stop
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Fucking Around, and this is meant to be so yeah.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: I So we had a bit of a chat and
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: I went listen, it's probably it's best for you and
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: best for me. And then I got a phone call
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: a month ago from MJ. Want who's is the program director,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: isn't he?
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: I think of listener engagement there he.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Is, and he's like, mate, we would love you to
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: come and speak at this light event. I go, well,
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: you know, I say fuck right, and he's like he laughed,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: and he goes, yeah, we're well aware. I go, you
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: know that, And I think I think he was saying
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: something that they're they've evolved a little bit. There are
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: probably a little bit more, you know, So I'll try
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: to keep the fucks to a minimum next Tuesday and Wednesday.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: Jodie is my long winded kind of message.
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, now look at you know when I when they started,
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: we were talking about them producing my podcast.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: We had lots of chats m J.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: And me, and we you know, he said, you know
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: that the station has listeners who are you know, there
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: for the Christian content and you know, you know, really
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: clear on their faith. There are those that are searching
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: and looking for something more. And there are others that
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: aren't Christian and not interested, but looking for you know,
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: positive and uplifting is the branding of course, and and
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: that's what it is.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: So yeah, so it's really it's really good.
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: They MJ listened to every single one of my podcast
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: episodes before inviting me to become part of the Light family.
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: As we say, so good thing that I kept it
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: clean all along, or they wouldn't have probably want.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: To be on board.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, they do do a good job. And like,
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: I've worked in a bunch of radio stations. And what
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: was interesting was I was working at SEN, which is
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: obviously a commercial station at the same time, and the
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: facilities and studios and resources at that time at light
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: FM was significantly better than SEN. And light FM is
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: a community station that is run like a commercial station
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: in terms of like the way like their production, their
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: facilities and resources. It's yeah, it's it's world class. It's
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: run like I mean, I've worked at Gold FM. I've
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: worked at a bunch of stations. It's literally just like
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: working into a walking into a high level commercial station.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: So they must be doing something right. All right, let's
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: head down the home straight. Where do people start in this?
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know there's no three step plan, but
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: maybe from both of you, this kind of idea of
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: how do I, how do I better manage me? How
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: do I better self regulate? TIF do you have any
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: insights into this, like, how do I that idea of equanimity?
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: How do I be the calm in the chaos, because
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: there's always going to be chaos around us at times.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: None of us are going to be living in a
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: cave on a mat, you know. So you moving forward?
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Do you have a plan now that you're back from
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: this kind of somewhat philosophical spiritual experience or are you
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: just going with the.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: Flow a little bit of both.
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: Really, we spent one thing we spent a lot of
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: time on there before hitting the mountain, which said a
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: lot of intentions was workshopping our identity, our kind of
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: I am statement, who am I? And what sound like
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: wanky terms, but our mission and purpose. But when you
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: actually sit down and really drill down on that, you
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: learn a lot about yourself. And I just feel like
• 45:26
  Speaker 4: the world is different to me now because I was
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: experiencing it through this foggy lens of not really recognizing
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: what values were driving me. And so when I, I
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: should say, when I can recognize that now other people's
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: actions or experiences or the people around me, I feel
• 45:50
  Speaker 4: like I'm responding differently to the more I'm not responding
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: to them because I'm just clear on what matters to
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: me and I'm looking at that and not all the
• 45:59
  Speaker 4: other stuff, if that makes sense.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's interesting. That's simple and somewhat wanky stuff, you know,
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: to go, oh, we're going to go on, We're going
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: to our mission and purpose, but it's like it it matters.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Well, also the idea of kind of stepping
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: out of the unconsciousness of your life, you know, where
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: like life happens anyway, right, I mean, life just goes
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: on and then you look up and you go, oh fuck,
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: and now I'm fifty shit shit, and it's it's and
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: that's not really anybody's goal is to have that Oh fuck,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: I'm fifty and this wasn't my plan. Yeah, but is
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: to start to whatever this means for the individual, live
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: more aligned, live more consciously, genuinely even in the busyness,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: and mayhem, to be more aware you know, what about you, doc,
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: what about you?
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Very much aligned with what you were saying, Tiff,
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: I've been that there's a concept in acceptance and commitment
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: therapy called the choice point, and that.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: You know, multiple times, dozens of times during.
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: The day, we've got this opportunity to consider whether or
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: not something's taking us towards what's really important to us,
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: our values, which is exactly what you were talking about
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: tif or Away, and I am I've just got that
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: awareness about the choice point kind of more top of
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: mind at the moment. And so, like a small example,
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: like I love chocolate, all right, I love it, and
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: but I buy a Fredo frog because there is an
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: end to that. It's only like thirty five grams or something,
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: so I can indulge, but I'm not eating a whole
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: block of Cabri dairy milk.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: Do you know you're just talking to a version of you.
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: You know, you can get giant fretdo's too, and they
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: taste better.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: Well, they're giant Frettos that I'm buying to, you know,
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: Like they're the ones that I buy.
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: But just for example, like yesterday they're on sale at Woollies,
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: Like they're overpriced for what they are, but they were
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: a dollar each. I'm like, I'm going to buy two,
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: put one in the in the drawer, and when I
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: ate one yesterday, I don't normally I usually have like
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: one one a week or something, but I thought, I want, oh,
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: I want to eat that other fredo the minute I'd
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: finished the first, and then this choice point came into
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: my mind. I'm like, no, well, I mean be cause
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: I'm fifty, I'm on the other side of I mean,
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: I'm through menopause. My I'm still crossfitting, but my body
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: shape is changing, my body fat levels are higher than
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: they've ever been, you know, for me, And I'm conscious
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: of these things, and i want my health, i want
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: my strength, i want my vitality for the next fifty
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: And so I'm like, choice point, Okay, towards are away. Okay,
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: eating that second fretto is definitely away. If I was
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: a party, If I was at a party, it would
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: be towards. So context matters. But I'm keeping in mind
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: this idea that you know, it's hard. It takes effort
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: to do good by ourselves, it really does. And I'm
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: trying to listen and then and then when that resistance
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: comes up, because we will go to a concert tonight,
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: we'll be home really late, I've got CrossFit booked in
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: the morning. There will be resistance, but I will go
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: because it's important. And so, yeah, this choice point is
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: something that I'm I'm really keeping in mind it's simple
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: and it's quite powerful. We just have to listen when
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: we get our answer. Sorry, but before just sorry, I'm
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: so sorry to interruptive Craig. Before we finish our recording today.
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: This is something that I just wanted to just quickly mention.
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: So can we just make sure we save a little
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: just a minute or two for something I just want
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: to share towards the end.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: Sure, Okay, thanks, Sorry, Tiff, go go, That's all right.
• 49:51
  Speaker 4: I was just going to say I wrote the first
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: day I came back. I wrote on my whiteboard, which
• 49:55
  Speaker 4: is in front of me. Now, will I do what's
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: required today to be I want to be tomorrow? And
• 50:02
  Speaker 4: then I've got I'll show you three post it notes.
• 50:04
  Speaker 4: I've got one that just say will I. I've got
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: one on my bathroom mirror, one on the inside of
• 50:10
  Speaker 4: my front door that I see when I leave the house,
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: and one on the fridge.
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: And in my head all day.
• 50:16
  Speaker 4: I'm like, will I will I will I'm doing five
• 50:18
  Speaker 4: minute meditations twice a day just to stop and pause.
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: It's like, am I going to let my heart rate
• 50:23
  Speaker 4: go back up thirteen beats a minute till it's usual?
• 50:27
  Speaker 4: Or am I going to keep it to the thirteen
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: beats a minute lower resting heart rate I had from
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: being in India. Do you know, like it's so yeah,
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: I found that a really a good practice for me.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: That's quite an amazing You know what I love about that?
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: That well, I love about your new regime in the
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: house and your post it notes, but I love that
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: there is a measurable outcome. Like the thing with psychology
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: and the motions and stuff, it's kind of hard to measure,
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: right because it's you know, it's very subjective, but heart
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: rate is not subjective. It's like it's a number. Yeah,
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: it's a number of beats in a minute. And I
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: mean thirteen beats lower on average is a fucking lot.
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: That is substantious lower than it's ever been. It's sitting.
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: It wasn't back, and it.
• 51:18
  Speaker 4: Wasn't it was it normally sits high fifties to low sixties,
• 51:23
  Speaker 4: so probably fifty eight to sixty one. I got home
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: and it's been sitting on it was forty seven, forty
• 51:29
  Speaker 4: seven and those last few nights, I'm having a glass
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: of wine with dinner. Now, if I have wine before
• 51:35
  Speaker 4: bed would normally raise my heart rate overnight, So I'm
• 51:39
  Speaker 4: doing all that, but what it tells me is that
• 51:41
  Speaker 4: hole that's switching off, that presence and that social aspect
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: to my life. And it's like, well, there's your answer.
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: There's where you need to do the work.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: You know. What's like almost ironic here is that you
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: want to desperately hold on to that, but without the desperation. Yeah,
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: because the desperation desperate, Yeah, the desperation will fuck.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: It up, right, Yeah, yeah, hold it lightly, Hold it lightly.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: It's been a really interesting chat you too, doctor Jodie.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: Before we go, you wanted to share something, so now
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: would be then I wanted.
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: To just in terms of what you were saying earlier
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: about the lung transplant. Tiff and I had the joy
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: of speaking at a VIC poll women's well being day
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: and we also got to listen to somebody to speak
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: about organ donation and I learned a lot and I
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: thought this was this would be, you know, a nice
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: opportunity to kind of just touch on that, to let
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: people know that we can, we have to opt into
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: organ donation, but our family members have the final say
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: on the day that that question might be asked. And
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: I learned this incredible. I won't know, I won't recall
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: the numbers. Maybe tif we'll remember more clearly. But for
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: your organs to be donated, you need to die in
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: hospital in the intensive care unit, where you're breathing and
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: your heart are already.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: Kind of really being supported.
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: And because the circumstances under which organs can be donated
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: is so specific, out of tens of thousands of people
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: who said yes to it, only about fifteen hundred people
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: can donate organs in the end, at the end of
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: the day because of that, and there are people's lives
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: who are just absolutely changed and transformed as a result.
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: So I thought, yeah, since you mentioned it earlier, I thought, probably,
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: you know, not something we like to think about. But
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: we're all, you know, walking each other home, as my
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: guest said this morning on in our conversation, and the
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: day will come for all of us, and I think
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: it's important for us to all think about and let
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: our family know what our wants are, what our desires
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: are around that wow.
• 53:56
  Speaker 4: And know what our families and see it as a legacy.
• 54:01
  Speaker 4: I remember when we listened to John speak on that
• 54:05
  Speaker 4: the legacy of him being able to gift that life
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: to people has given him something that helps with the
• 54:12
  Speaker 4: grief of what he lost.
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: You're exactly right because you interviewed him, didn't you, Tiff,
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: So you're exactly right because it was with his wife,
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: wasn't it that he said, yes, and I think her
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: kidney went to a little boy.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: And I'm going to get all.
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: Choked up, but yeah, it's very personal, it's very difficult.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: But yeah, we should let our families know because at
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: the end of the day, they are the ones that
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: get the final say.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: Even if we've registered and ticked all the boxes, it's
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: up to them.
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: So yeah, so thank thanks Harps for the chance to
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: just raise that here.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: I must do it on my own podcast as well.
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: It's important, pleasure, it's a great message. I saw a
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: video the other day on when I shouldn't have been
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: scrolling but fuck it, And there was this dad. He
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: was probably my age, maybe a bit younger, and his
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: son had passed away. His son was in his twenties
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: and then he meant went and met the recipient who
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: had gotten his son's heart. Oh my god. And they
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: that organized this get together and they put a stethoscope
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: on the dad so he could listen to the son's heart. Wow. Yeah,
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: that was it. That was it. I was out. I'm like, fuck,
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: why did I It's like, you know those things that
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: are beautiful. It's like I'm glad I'm watching this, but
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: now I'm fucked for the next three minutes. Yeah anyway, Yeah,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: Dr Jody, How do people find you? What's your show called?
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: Where can they connect with you? What's your web address?
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: Sell us a book or two? Ready set, no pressure, go.
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: Just if you go to my website. Dr Jodi Richson
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: dot com dot au Jody with an eye. But I
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: love how you say the name of my podcast halps,
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: go for it.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: You know what to do?
• 56:03
  Speaker 4: Well?
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: Her podcast is called well Hello Anxiety. You need to
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: use me. You need to use me in your primo.
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: I do, I do, I do.
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: I've got lots of ideas about some updates. So yeah,
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: I'll keep that in mind.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: Well, we appreciate you, Tiff. Keep riding that bloody zen
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: train without the anxiety. Don't hold on to it desperately,
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: hold on to it lightly. Just between your your pinky
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: finger and whatever the one next to it's called maybe
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: your pinky finger and your thumb. Yeah, just that, yeah,
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: like that? Like that? Perfect?
• 56:39
  Speaker 4: All right?
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: Everyone, love your guts. Thank you, Thanks Tiff, Thanks Jody,
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: Thanks guys.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: Bye,