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Why I Almost Quit Youth Ministry...and Why I Stayed · Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever wanted to quit youth ministry?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: Today we're going to talk about the four reasons I wanted to quit and why I decided to stay.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, the number one podcast for helping you grow a healthy and thriving youth ministry.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_03: My name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: And why did you call us number one?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: How do you know?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_03: Because there's not any others, I don't think.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh my process of elimination, one and then no one.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: So we're also number zero.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, we're first and last.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_03: I one time finished third in a golf tournament out of three people.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's all how you frame it.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: You know, delivery is everything.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: So today we're gonna talk about four reasons I wanted to quit youth ministry and why I did not.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: Because guess what?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_03: You're still doing it.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: All those four times.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Here I am.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's really funny when I heard this pastor say, people ask me, like, how many times have you wanted to quit?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: He's like a senior pastor, and he's like, You mean this week?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Today?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, I want to quit every week and I keep going, you know.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna just be really honest, you know, with my changing it up on this episode.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Let's see what happens.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: Extra honest on this episode because I think we have all been there.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: If you've been in youth ministry for oh a year or more, three months or more, you probably have been like, I'm good.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Check, please.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: And we've all felt that and you will feel it again.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: I I just want to frame this in the way that we all agree this is normal.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's normal to want to quit.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't mean something's wrong with you.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't mean that you are not called to this job.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't mean that you're not gifted or well suited for this job.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: It just means you're doing it right, probably.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: And you're gonna experience the ups, the downs, the way, way, way downs.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: And hopefully my experience encourages you to hang in there.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: So the first reason I remember starting out on my own at a new campus, and it was very small, under-resourced.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: It felt like it was compared to the main campus that I had come from.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember I was excited to jump in.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: I was really nervous, but the first feeling of wanting to quit came because I just didn't feel like I was seeing results.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's a really relatable feeling for a lot of youth pastors of just like, so how long do I do this before I know I'm doing it right?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why our job is really hard because what are we measuring exactly?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how do you know it's going well?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I think there's some markers that you can look at, but it's vague, you know, attendance, you know, we tend to look at that.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: Salvations, we tend to look at that.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you just feel like, okay, we're we're clicking relationally, or students are getting baptized, or asking really good questions, or having some kind of spiritual breakthrough or awakening or decision, discipleship.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like we look at all these things, but when you're kind of for starting out, it's really hard to see the evidence of any of that.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so you can really feel like you're spinning your wheels and you're like, I don't know.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: I gave a sermon, like nobody came up after and was like, good job, I loved it, you know, or we played the game and yeah, they had fun, or we went to camp and, you know, only a few kids came.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there can just be all these things that you're just like, what am I even doing here?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: I remember back a long time ago, I was trying to get like chemistry going in my youth group, and it was really small at the time.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, okay, I'll throw a girls-only event, and like that'll give the girls a chance to just connect with each other.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: And we were really small.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: And me and Tracy, she was one of my female leaders, she was so much fun.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: We planned this whole like Galantine's like girls' night with crafts and treats, and we set the whole thing up.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: Two girls show up, which they are valuable, but I think they felt uncomfortable.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, where's the party?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: Remember that office where Michael's throwing a party in his hotel room?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: I don't remember that.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's like at this conference, and he's like hyping up like this party, and people come, and it's just like, so is this it?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like, oh, because it's just like weird.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember this volunteer, like potential volunteer, was checking it out, and she's like, Oh, you know, I might want to be a small group leader.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh, come check it out.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember her kind of politely being like, I don't think you need anybody.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, but she was so cool, and I could tell the girls what I loved her, and she was really fun.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I can't even get a cool volunteer because they don't even think they're needed because there's nobody here.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: So those were some times, let me tell you, where I was just like, What are we doing?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we put in all this effort, and it doesn't really seem like it's amounting to anything, and people aren't picking up what we're putting down, and the community we're trying to create isn't launching the way that I had thought it was.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I kind of felt like the loser, to be honest.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: I felt like the butt of every joke, you know, whether people meant it or not.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: It just kind of felt like, oh, you guys are the like little runt of the litter and you mean amongst like campuses or yeah, and it just felt like, oh, how adorable.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: You tried, you know, and kind of pitied, made fun of, tongue in cheek a lot.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I probably would have done the same thing, you know, because you don't really mean it, but when you're already feel down sarcasm, sets deeper.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because if you don't believe it, you're like, ha ha ha.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: But if you believe it, you're like, oh, that sucks.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and that's how I felt for for a really long time.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so with this, why did I stay?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, honestly, I didn't know what else to do.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like, where else am I gonna work?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is my job.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: I kind of have to keep going here.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I have a college degree, maybe I could have really put a resume out there, but then I thought, like, I don't really want to go work a nine to five job.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I really do like this.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: I just am frustrated.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: I I remember I had looked on like one of those job websites, like monster or whatever.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Monster.com.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: And every single listing was a scam.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like every single one.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: It was just like a really weird instructions, like, yes, come to this office building and creepy, yeah.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I would just like look up the address, I'm like, that doesn't even exist, and it would be like in San Diego somewhere.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, something's off.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: Thankfully, I listened to my gut or the Holy Spirit, and I never went, and I finally was just like, there's nothing out there, I might as well just stay here.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: Everything's a scam.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: But on the other side, too, it was the people.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I really loved our little campus, I really loved the staff.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: We were like thickest thieves.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: I really loved the parents and the students in the congregation.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I just felt like this was kind of like a family in the best way possible.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: And it was just so hard to think about leaving people I love because despite it being small and not really gaining any momentum anytime soon, it was the people that I worked with, the few leaders that I did have.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: We had so much fun together, and we just kind of did the best that we could, you know.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like sometimes doing hard things with easy people keeps you in the game, you know?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I was just like, you know, you were one of my volunteers back in the early days too, and we would just like fill our time making funny videos for the kids or doing ridiculous things and just hoping something would stick.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: And we had a good time doing it, and I think it would have been really hard for me to like and and as I talk to youth pastors who are struggling in their current situation or their current church, and you know, if you present the question, why don't you go get a job somewhere else?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's always the people, like, yeah, this is a hard situation, but I love the students, but I love the people I work with, but I love the congregation members, like whatever it is, people really do keep you there.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what kept me when I felt like what what is what is happening?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, the church that I work at is a super healthy environment and it's super fun.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I didn't want to leave, you know.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: I just felt like I love this church and I'm still here, you know, and I there's a lot of good churches out there, but you know, it's just such an easy place to work.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like they give us the longest leash, you know, and you can just be so creative.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: And eventually it clicked and we got there.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I mean, I remember talking to people about job openings at places, and I was ready to go.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: So, anyways, number two, this one's probably highly relatable as well.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to quit many times due to overwhelm, just feeling completely overwhelmed, especially in the early days when you're just figuring it out and you don't really have a system yet, and you don't have the nuts and bolts in place to keep your head above water and keep you on a good rhythm.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: You're just kind of figuring everything out for the first time and you don't really have a rhythm.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: You're just kind of like clawing your way through every event, every sermon, every program, every recruitment for leaders, every financial statement, every camp.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, this is so hard.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: And it is until you've done it, like when you get all those reps in, you start to get your systems down and you start to sort of memorize the script for each thing.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: And there's always a curveball for sure.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, but there's also, you know, I was talking to my staff last week.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: There is a very predictable, like, I know cadence of things.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like every time we stop uh to sleep at the church on the way up to camp, a kid's gonna barf in the sink.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just ready for that now.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's not like, oh my gosh, did you do uh bingo yet?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_03: Or are you guys gonna do that?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna do it, yeah.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: Cause there, I said, guys, there's just some laws of nature, laws of junior high ministry nature that this stuff will happen.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: A kid will eat a dragonfly, a kid will barf in the sink, a kid will, you know, there's all kinds of things.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it just like, and what this episode is really wrapped in, as you'll start to see as we keep going, is like resilience.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you feel overwhelmed maybe right now, but if you push through these seasons, then your resilience builds and things that used to fluster you as a youth pastor or a ministry leader, volunteer, whatever role you're in, it's just kind of like, yeah, that's what that's what this is.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's just sort of par for the course.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like our high school, one of our high school pastors today, she was telling me about all these shenanigans these boys were getting into.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, I was like, oh my gosh, what are you guys doing?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, just sounds like another day in my ministry.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I that wouldn't even, I wouldn't have even like batted an eye, be like, Yes, of course you're going to destroy that, you know.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: Because she said she put out this beautiful like dessert table, and one of the boys grabbed, like, it was like a beautiful donut hole monument or something.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: And he just kept grabbing the donut holes and throwing them like snowballs at his friend.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, I'm like, what are you doing?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm I would be mad as well, but I would probably have seen that coming.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like, they're spears, they're white powder, it's going.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: They're gonna be that's why I can't serve cupcakes anymore.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_02: They smash them in each other's face every single time.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, it's these you will have seasons of doing hard things, but I think again, kind of the same thread from last time of what kept me in is I it's really hard to do hard things with hard people.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: And when you're in a situation like that, it's like I I'm gonna probably throw it in the towel if this doesn't let up.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: But if you do hard things with people who are easy on you, people who encourage you, people who love you, and all of that, then it gives you that's what helped me get through that.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: Cause I remember being super discouraged, super overwhelmed, super overworked, feeling like, oh my gosh, like I have to teach again, like teaching three times a week.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like this is impossible.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and then you get one amazing email from a parent saying, Thank you so much.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: I wish we had had this when I was a student.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: Or you get a super encouraging text message from one of your leaders.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: For me, it's usually my security guard, JP.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: He's always like, That was so amazing.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, this is so great.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: You're so good at your job.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like, God just kind of like spoke through you at that moment of like Kristen needs like a shot of encouragement, like, you know, or I opened my email the other day, and a parent had written a really nice email, like, thanks so much for doing that worship night the other night.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like, my girls loved it.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, oh, how wonderful to open my email to something like that.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: So these little jolts of encouragement, I think is what got me through the overwhelm of just like, okay, let's keep trudging up the hill because I had people cheering me on.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, like when you're running, when you're running a marathon, like I've ever run a marathon.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: You said when you are, you're talking to other people.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: When you people run marathons, you know, you see those people on the sidelines like cheering them on, and I feel like that gives every I would imagine gives everyone as a former marathon runner, one time it was interesting when people would cheer because you're like, maybe there's somebody around me that they know, and then you realize they're just cheering for everybody, but it still felt really good.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_03: And they're like, All right, have a little lunch while I'm running here too.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: But it was it was good, it was definitely encouraging.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: And that's how I feel when people will like affirm like I remember the first time, like I don't know if well, of course you remember Lori.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, she would just like after I would even do anything, like an announcement or something, she'd be like, You're going places, you are so good on stage.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that was awesome.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'd be like, Oh, okay, maybe I am good at this.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: And that kind of like balances out the overwhelm.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm overwhelmed, but everyone's going, You can do it.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Come on, let's go.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: And if you don't have cheerleaders in your corner, if you don't have encouraging voices, it really will suck the life out of you.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: So if that's you and you're feeling like must be nice to have someone cheering you on, you know, pray.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know, tell God.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: Because the crazy thing is, sometimes I am feeling so discouraged, and He will send someone right in that moment to like, like, just kind of lift my chin up.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like, nope, nope, don't, don't like give in to the negativity, and he'll have someone with the perfect time text or email.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: So just sometimes you just need to ask God, hey, I need you to throw me a bone, I need some encouragement, I need someone to lift my spirits.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: Please send someone who sees me.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that can come in the form of a coach, too.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't plan on saying that, but it's I was texting one of my coaches today and just telling her, hey, I'm praying for a meeting, you know, that you have coming, or just little things like I would have loved that, you know, being young in ministry and feeling unseen or alone, or like, oh my gosh, just like someone who's cheering you on.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody needs someone who cheers them on in ministry.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because it will cancel out the overwhelm.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: Someone who's rooting for you, someone who loves you, gives you support, and the like pats on the back of like, keep going, you got this, don't give up, you know.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: And in different seasons, that can be different people, you know?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, number three, why I almost quit was I did lose my passion for a season.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I just was kind of like a little over it.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hmm, I don't know.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like the same old thing over and over and over again.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_02: And this, and like how we were talking before, the predictable patterns, the same old shenanigans, the same old discipline.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: Let me guess you got sent out of your small group again.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_02: Let me guess, I'm gonna get an angry email after camp.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: Let me guess the van company isn't gonna come through.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: Let me guess.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there's just these discouraging patterns that are predictable where you can just kind of get the passion squashed out of you because you're just focusing on the logistics or the negativity, and you're just kind of like, this sucks.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and depending on what you get paid, sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm getting paid, not paid enough to put up with I'm not getting paid at all and having to do all right puking in the sink or like disciplining kids non-stop, or I remember I was really discouraged one time because we were doing this thing called Starving to Serve, where the kids fast and raise money for people literally starving through an organization called Outside the Bowl.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: And the kids had these packets and were raising money, and one of them left it in the snack shack, and someone stole it.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, gross, yeah, I'm done here.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you stole the money for the starving children.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: How dare you?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I didn't have the heart to tell that girl her packet got stolen, so I just replaced it and replaced all the money inside because I'm like, that could warp her sense of like, who are these people?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you bandits.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: I remember my offering got stolen once, and I was like, ew, you know, and then looking back on it, it's like, yeah, what are we?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: A hospital.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: We are the the church is a hospital, and you never know where someone's at spiritually when they come in.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: They need Jesus, and there's brokenness everywhere.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: But those were the things that would be like, all right, okay, I'm done.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: The we can't even support our compassion international kid because you stole the offering.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's the last drop.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: Did you tell them it was the Lord's chips?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: I sure did, and they did not care.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_02: I think I know who did it, but obviously they never fought.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: So, anyways, just those moments just like feel so discouraging and they kind of suck the passion out of me, you know, because you are like, Yes, you know, like I'm on this mission, and then there's like these, like just this toxicity that just makes you like, ah, like fighting the evil is so hard sometimes.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: But here's when I lost my enthusiasm and kind of gave into the negativity and discouragement.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: Or I've had really misbehave classes, classes that just like are not locked in and they're just draining, draining, and it's always something.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't feel like they're getting like there's one thing like, oh, a student is struggling, you know, they don't really quite understand where, or it's just like you are causing mayhem everywhere you go.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's exhausting.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_03: There was times where I felt like as a volunteer, I felt like speaking to the kids, you you would be or you would enjoy this much more if we just weren't here.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_03: Just unlock the door, let them in, they'll destroy the place for two hours, and then yeah, then you can close up afterwards.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: Like they really did not want anything to do with God or us, or you know, it was just like just let us hang out and destroy things.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: And that is very discouraging as a youth pastor.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you want to reach the lost, but sometimes when it comes knocking on your door and it kind of changes the whole dynamic of the group.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it can be hard.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: It can be really, really hard and can make you lose your passion.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: I think where I found mine was um, you know, like other people's passion.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like I remember I had an intern for a while and he was like fresh and new and excited.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: And like I would kind of be like, well, we don't really have to do that.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: I guess it doesn't matter.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, let's do it, let's do this, let's do that, let's do everything.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: I want to be at this, I want to go, you know, and like I felt like there was a season where I was scraping by, kind of doing the bare minimum just to get by.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: And he wanted to do the maximum everything.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_02: And at first I was like, ugh, but But then it was contagious, and he helped me get my because I kind of started to see ministry through his naive little eyes, and I was like, Oh, yeah, I do love it, or yeah, you're right.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I kind of could ride the coattails of his passion for a while, and I think that is like so biblical, you know, where it's talking about where one helps like two are better than one, because if one falls down, the other one can pick him up.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: I felt like I fell down and I needed him to pick me up.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: I he didn't know that, he didn't know I was withering away, but it was like just his energy and passion and excitement.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and sometimes if I dip back into like another sleepover, you know, I'm like, oh, I remember his era, and I'm like, yeah, like think like him.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like he would be stoked, he would be excited, he'd be rallying and wearing a weird costume and being the life of the party.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of NO explodes, I remember too, though.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: A pre-workout.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_02: I wasn't even thinking of him, it was somebody else.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: But he was awesome too.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he had a lot of I saw an enthusiasm when I had him.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: That was a really long time ago.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so yeah, like it can be contagious, like this energy that you can kind of siphon from somebody else.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_03: And that goes both ways with you and your leaders, because sometimes they may be down, you know, and then if you can lift them up and then vice versa, like you're saying, when you lose your enthusiasm for something, getting that from them can work as well.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_03: Totally.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: Or if you don't have somebody like that, like maybe a podcast like this where you see, like, I remember looking at people like Brooklyn Lindsay, and she was a mom and she was a youth pastor.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, well, if she's ahead of me and she's doing all this, like I can do this.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and I never even met her.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: I would just read her stuff, like, you know, like she used to write a lot about youth ministry, and I was always like, Oh, I wonder what she's saying now.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: And she get gave me motivation, like, so they don't even have to be in your proximity.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: If you can just find someone doing it alongside you somewhere out there, sometimes that's enough as well.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, friend, I just wanted to interrupt this episode for a second to let you know about an awesome opportunity for you and your youth ministry.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: So last year we launched our course and coaching program called Youth Ministry Growth Accelerator, and the response has been amazing.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: So, we've helped tons of youth pastors grow the size and health of their youth ministry, and we want to invite you to be a part of that as well because maybe you're just sort of feeling stuck in a rut, maybe you don't know what to do next, maybe you just have a vague plan in your mind of what you're doing, and you want some real help to get you from where you are to where you want to go.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: So, if that sounds like something you've been looking for, go to growyouryout ministry.com and check it out for more details.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: All right, let's get back to the episode.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: And then the last reason I wanted to quit, and I didn't.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: I'd like to continue to make that clear.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, is just Well, we have a surprise at the end of this episode.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'm looking for a job.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_03: Kidding.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: So if you have an abandoned building, give me the address.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'll be there.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: Preferably in San Diego.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't want to go too far.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um I've just been doing the same thing for a long time.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I sat down with our campus pastor last week, and he's like, is it getting routine yet?
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, because this will April will be 22 years on staff at this church.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Yeah, maybe a little.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, but here's what I have to lock in my mind and remember is, and this is what I was telling him, certain things are becoming routine for me, but I have to remember this is the first time that they are experiencing it.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think of like kids coming in for the first time and being so excited about this, this, this, this, this.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, we went to Disneyland last week and we've been a lot of times, but it's still exciting the when you get on Big Thunder Mountain.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: But if you worked at Big Thunder Mountain and you got to ride it like when the park closed or before it opened, whenever you wanted, you got to ride Big Thunder Mountain as much as you wanted, you'd be like, it's fun.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_03: But like us who haven't done it in a while, or someone for the first time, it's like bringing bringing our kids, you know, our our oldest daughter, like the first time we took her, it you did see it through a new set of eyes, where like kind of rejuvenated, like, yeah, like this is so much fun.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_03: And even though I've ridden this ride a million times, even though Winnie the Pooh is like the slowest ride in the world, seeing a three-year-old, seeing a three-year-old just light up, yeah, it just energizes you.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, oh, this is so magical, you know.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_03: Right, and that's youth ministry is so magical in that way.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that's how I try to see it is like you guys have been waiting for youth groups since you're in elementary school, and yeah, you've heard all about it, and you've had your siblings go through it, and we're gonna show you how it's done and not let it become tired for me.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so kind of out of this love or outpouring for them, it's like, let's keep it fresh, like and trying to see youth ministry through their eyes, it's like, well, they don't know, like we've done this a billion times.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: 22 times.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: They well, I did the math and I have done like 1200 program youth group nights, so that's a lot.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: But as you go, like, you know, there other than just like, oh, it's so routine, there's other thoughts that come across your head.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like, am I aging out?
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, I've heard people talk about youth pastors that are above a certain age, and it's just like, what's wrong with them?
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: Failure to launch kind of thing.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: That's very hurtful.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: When did we decide God's calling on someone's life expires?
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that's a very presumptuous position to put ourselves in.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: It was like, oh, God's calling was only between the ages of you know 20 and 27.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: After that, you better figure something else out to do.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, but until he says go, I think I'm supposed to stay.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: And that goes, you know, it's like he called you in, wouldn't it also follow that he will call you out when he's ready or has something different for you?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to die a youth pastor.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: You don't.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: Some people will, and that's wonderful.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: If he calls you out, listen, but don't just create your own expiration date because you gave into some like failure to launch, aging out.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: Isn't it time to move on?
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of thing.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: And we've talked about that before.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Doug Fields is the master of that with his little mug, not senior pastor material.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that because that is a being a senior pastor is a very specific calling.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, not everyone's meant to do that.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's different, it's it's not any more or less important, it's just different.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I love this idea that it's like God's timing on our life does.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: I just flipped this over.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: There's nothing on the back.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so we better end this.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, it doesn't expire.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: And who are we to say when we're done?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like that decision, in my life, anyways, it's just my opinion, is sort of deferred to God.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and anytime that's come up in my life, I've said, well, his timing has always been absolutely perfect in the past.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_02: So why would I meddle with the future?
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna wait on him to do whatever he because he can see the 30,000-foot view.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: He sees the beginning, the current, the past, like he knows.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so I just have always been like, you know what?
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: Anytime he's opened a door, it was the right time and the right one.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm good until then.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I love my job, but it it is a mind game sometimes, and that's why I stayed because it's like, yes, I've done this for a long time, but it who am I to say when my calling expires?
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_02: And like, here's the truth, too.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: Every time I think about leaving, like, sometimes we joke, like, wouldn't it be nice just to work at Starbucks?
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: And you leave, and you're not thinking about the coffee when you go home.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, that was a fun day.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_02: I made a lot of coffees.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_02: I love I loved being a barista.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: I did I wasn't Starbucks, it was a different place.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: It was so much fun.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't think about the coffee when I went home.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: My I smelled like it, but I didn't think about it really.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um you smell like junior hires when you come home.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: That's just gross.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: Probably.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's like, what else can you think of?
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I I'll just speak for myself.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: I cannot think of anything else that I'm willing to like give my life to.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you can do ministry anywhere, and no matter where you work, you work in an office building, you do ministry, right?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: However, this is how I want to do ministry, and I really can't think of anything like when you work, you're really giving your life to that.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like you spend more time at work usually than you do at home or doing anything else.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm like, better be worth it.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, I think this is.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that those are the motivations that keep me going of like what other cause could possibly be worth giving my life to?
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: I've been called, I am gifted and equipped to do this, but it doesn't mean we won't want to quit at least once a week, or for me, at least once a summer.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, or I'm just like, yeah, I don't want to like when you're just so tired from camp and you have nothing left to give.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, how what would I have to do to never have to do this again?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_03: Well, here's a little word of encouragement for you.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_03: This comes from I'm probably gonna pronounce your name wrong, but Crescia Souza, who says, Thank you so much for this video.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_03: So helpful.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_03: May the Lord continue to use you and bless you in all.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_02: And you know what?
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: That is true.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: Speaking of the encouragement, even just the bandwidth to keep going with the podcast, you know, it's we love it, but when I hear stories or comments or encouragement, because sometimes I just feel like I'm talking to you.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_03: And then like Well, I've said it before, and I did not come up with a statement, but a podcast, and for those of you who do have podcasts, I'm sure some of you may, but it feels like you're leaving a voice message for someone that you don't know if they ever received it or not.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_03: Totally, you know, and and we we I do love doing this.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_03: I know you love doing this, and going back to when you're saying you can pick each other up, there are those times where it's like it's eight o'clock at night, and I know we need to record.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_03: I don't feel like recording, but if you're energized, it's like, okay, I can rally, you know, and vice versa.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but we do ultimately love love doing it.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_03: It just sometimes the the drag of the day has worn you out, and it's like, but I know we put need to put a new episode on.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and the comments and the stories and the emails and the posts that come in of just like sometimes they catch me off guard, like, oh, this is it is doing something, you know.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody listened.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: And it's cool to think that it's helping youth pastors do their job better, you know, because we're all in we're all in this together, guys.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you guys so much for watching and listening.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_03: And we'll see you next time.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever wanted to quit youth ministry?
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Me too, but I didn't.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna give you four reasons why I almost did.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_03: Did that's unbelievable.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever wanted to quit youth ministry?
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: I have today, I have.