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August 6 – What Drives Me · The Daily Ripples Podcast

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Hey guys, today is August 6th. What drives
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me? Oh, we got Pastor Mike and he's host, I'm co-host,
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and it's August 6th. What drives me? The Stone: What
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drives my life will eventually shape my actions, for good or for
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bad. Ripple One Practical: Today I'll pay attention to
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what is motivating me. Fear, self-pity, and self-interest
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interests often push me toward unhealthy choices.
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When I notice them, I will pause, seek guidance, and choose
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service over self-centeredness.
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Ripple 2, Spiritual. The Father calls me to live under
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His direction rather than my fears.
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Jesus shows me a life guided by trust and obedience instead
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of self-will. The Holy Spirit helps me recognize what is driving
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me and redirects my heart toward humility,
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service, and love. And Pastor
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Mike, I was, uh, I was looking this up, and you probably got some of
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me thinking and talking or whatever beforehand about this,
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but when I was reading this first,
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I found this amazing Bible verse that I was gonna just— I
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was like, man, that goes great with this, you know. But really what you put
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in here says it all, right? What drives my life? What— so when I'm
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driven About 100 forms of self-delusion, self-pity,
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and all these things. Sounds familiar. Yeah, it's in one of our books.
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I'm sure it is. I think it's— but is it a big
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book? It is. Oh, okay. But when I'm driven in that,
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I don't know, man, because I
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can have the motives too. I could, man, the girl's going
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to leave me for this or that or anything. I'm going
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to lose the job. And I can't just see that,
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hey, that's just a— I can't see in that moment. I'm being driven
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though. Will eventually shape my life
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and actions. And this older gentleman, and a lot of people are older than me
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in the rooms we hang out with. Oh, no comment.
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Just no comment. I mean,
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but he used to say, man, all I have today are decisions to be made
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and appointments to be kept. Yeah. And I thought about that for years.
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And if I make my decisions about service and me servicing
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other people, me being there for other people, and I keep those appointments
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and I keep those commitments, then I'm doing a lot better because my
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life looks a lot like service rather than making commitments or making
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appointments and things based on me.
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Right? Because me, what am I going to do? Me is just me,
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and it's me running around with my head cut off thinking about what I can
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get out of life, what I can take from you, what I can take any
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joy out of somebody, because that's all I do anyways when it's about me.
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But when it's love put in there, I think that's the key,
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because when I have it driven in love versus driven
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in self, my life looks full today. Even if I did get more things
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out of myself, like material things, my life
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feels full and my family feels full too. What do you think? Well,
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I think kind of staying on that same page,
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page 62 out of the big book, selfishness, self-centeredness that
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we think is the root of our troubles. Right. You know, and it
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absolutely is, you know, whatever I'm trying to do when I'm driven by
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my desires and I'm trying to run the show and you mentioned
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it, you know, a thousand forms of fear, Right? Because if I'm in fear of
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losing something, I'm going to try to hold onto it tighter, and then it's
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going to slip out between my fingers. And if I'm trying to control
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something, I'm basically not trusting in
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love, basically, you know, because I think about
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within my family, if I'm trying to control my wife,
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I can't love my wife and control her at the same time. I have to
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be choosing to do one or the other. And so I try not to control
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her. And if she's listening today,
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I'm sure she would admit as well that some days I do better at that
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than others. And that's just part of being human and part of trying and
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moving on from that. But I also think
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about on page 62, it talks about our self-will run riot and the
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actor who's trying to run the whole show. And I
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was just talking about this, and it's one of my favorite lines out of the
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Big Book is where the revelation comes in of this.
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And that's on page 62 where it says, this is the how and the why
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of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work.
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And so what this is telling me is that when I am driven
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by fear and trying to control things, I'm trying to play God in
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my own life, trying to play God with those around me. And I have to
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As it says in the spiritual, the Father calls me to live under His direction
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rather than my fears. So when I can surrender,
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set aside my fears, move through my fears to that place
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of faith, and how do I get to that place of faith? Well, I mean,
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we've already been talking about that all week too. How am I starting my day?
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Am I starting my day on a spiritual plane,
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in a posture of submission and surrender, either on
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my knees or praying before the throne of grace? Am I starting my day that
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way? If I'm starting my day that way, then that can drive
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me for the day. Now, the cares of life sometimes come in pretty
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quickly and snatch some of that away, but at least I'm starting with
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a firm foundation, right? You know, and consciously
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and conscientiously connecting with God so
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that I don't make the mistake of thinking that I'm leaving
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my house operating on my own power. Because operating
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on my own power took me to that place 13 years ago where I was
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in that apartment by myself, crying my eyes off, boohooing on
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the phone to some woman that didn't want anything to do with me,
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and just drunk off my butt. And that
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was enough for me. That was the rock bottom that I had, because the next
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day is when I woke up and said, not again. And thankfully after
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that, God placed people and stories in my life that
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drove me into the recovery program.
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I was humbled enough through that humiliation to be in
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a place where I could listen to others, that thing we talked about yesterday.
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And so because I was in that place of being able to listen to others,
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then I had to follow through with that. I had to take the action.
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And that brings back again what we always talk about, faith without works is dead.
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I had a fledgling, forming faith at the time, but it wasn't
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anything— I could never have imagined when I
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walked into the rooms of recovery where I would be and what I would be
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doing today. I never could have imagined it. I couldn't have imagined my
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married life being what it is today. My wife and I, we've been married for,
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it'll be 9 years in December, and I've been sober for
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13 years from March.
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So she's never seen me drunk. She's never had to deal with all of that.
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And as she shared on this podcast
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even, We're both thankful that that's the case because I don't think she'd have put
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up with it. You met her, you know. I think, you know,
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it says in Bill's story, right? It says common sense becomes
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uncommon sense. Yeah. You know, the way I used to view my
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life today looks nothing like how I view my life today.
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And I don't know if that even made sense what I just said, but I
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found the Bible verse at least I wanted. There you go. It's Proverbs
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4:23. Keep your
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heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the
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spring of life. Yeah. Now I think about vigilance and I think about what
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we're doing here and I think about why this, you know, the meditation
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and the prayer and all this is so important because before,
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man, I ever prayed and meditated, I never stopped. I never
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stopped and really analyzed, you know, what's going on right this
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second. It was always the fears of yesterday and the, you know, the fears of
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the future. And, you know, is my past going to come up and catch up
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to me? Is that lie going to come up and catch up to me?
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Because I didn't, you know, and my lies are, you know, my lies
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more, you know, are, you know, me trying to be someone I'm not
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because I'm trying to keep up with this image. Right. Yeah. We talked
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about a little bit this before the podcast and it's, you know, Because on page
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62 of the Big Book we were just talking about,
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man, I'll start getting on a tangent. I got
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it. 61, I mean. It says, he may be kind,
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considerate, patient, generous, even modest or self-sacrificing.
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And this is talking about how I've tried to run the show.
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Talking about me, man, which at times.
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On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish, and dishonest.
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Right? Absolutely. So I could do that. So on page 76
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or 73 of the Big Book, it says, uh,
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shoot, it says, more than most people, the alcoholic
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leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world,
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presents a stage character. So this is the
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one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy
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a certain reputation, but he knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.
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And then it goes on to say, the inconsistency is made worse by some of
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the sprees. But if I'm living a double life, because the next sentence after,
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in this part it says, we're egotistical, selfish, dishonest,
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but then it goes on to say, but as with most humans, he's more
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likely to have varied traits. And I think about, you see where I'm
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connecting that, right? Because if I'm living a double life, I might have double traits
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because I can be And I've done it in my sex life, right? I don't
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know if you've ever gone through this, but like, you know, man, I'll be really
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nice and cuddly and this and this, and sometimes I'll get
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what I want, right? But what about— never. What do you mean I've gone—
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never. What about when I don't, right? Yeah. I could be mean, egotistical.
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You don't want me and be this, you know, do this other thing, right?
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And all I'm doing is manipulating to get what I want.
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And so I've been really trying to practice this
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a lot, and it's on page 84 because it says, continue to
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watch, right? For selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear,
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when these crop up, we ask God to remove them at once. That's the— and
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like I'm saying all this, and I say this a lot on here, but I
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say this because I say this in repetition because I have to practice it in
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repetition. It's a discipline. It's not something that I could just get to hear or
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say once and then I'm good. Yeah, I got to practice it.
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Then it says, talk to someone immediately. Then after that
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it says, if we've harmed someone, we make amends quickly.
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Or what does it say? We make amends quickly if we've harmed anyone.
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Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help, period. But then
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there's the 4th one, love and tolerance of others is our code.
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5th one after that, because it says, and we've ceased fighting anything or anyone.
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So I've added those 2 things into my head
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every day. Cease fighting anything, anyone, and love and tolerance is our code. Because like,
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you know, I was just doing the first 4. Yeah. And I was getting results,
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right? And I mean, we're not in the results business, but I'm trying to be
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a good human today, right? Yeah. And I'm not just trying to sit
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here and say, oh, I'll make amends where like, you know, I need to.
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No, I'm— I don't want to make amends. Yeah. I don't want to live
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my life and step on people's toes and them retaliate, then I'm in a
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fight with everybody. I wanna be a child of God today and be able to
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help God's kids. And for me to do that, to be more useful,
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and you were talking about this in the last podcast, we were talking about growing.
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Growing, and it says on the same page, our next function
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is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This will take a lifetime.
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And it does, but I better start now because
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it's gonna start piling up on me. And if it keeps on piling up on
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me and piling up on me, it's like the dragon. How to tame a dragon.
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Jordan Peterson talks about it, right? And it's so interesting
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because if I don't start now, when am I going to start? Yeah. So,
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and I like— which has echoes of what you're saying your
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old sponsor Doug used to say, which is you don't have time to make all
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the mistakes, right? So you got to learn from others in the same way on
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growth. You have to learn from others too. And the same way my sponsor takes
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dudes through the steps, he doesn't start on the preface. He starts on page 84
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and takes them through 88. Then he starts on the preface because
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he, the way he looks at it is, is, you know, if you gotta,
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if you go into a business and it's messing up, let's start doing good
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business today. Yeah. And let's worry about the audit and everything else
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and looking in the past later. Right. Right. I think that's an interesting view.
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It is interesting. I never really thought about it from that kind of business
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analogy perspective, but it's all in the recovery
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materials because all that stuff about, you know, taking inventory anyway of
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all, you know, business-driven, um, you know, from, from the guys that started the
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program. But the last thing that I'll, that I'll say today is that
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what drives us indeed, you know, is today.
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I know for myself, and I believe for you, what drives us today are
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more spiritual things and less the physical things. Yeah, we're driven more by
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our connection to our higher power and less by our connection to
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or alcohol or any other substance. And in Galatians
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5, starting in verse 16, it says, I say then,
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walk by the Spirit, then you will certainly not carry out the desire of the
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flesh. That's a word for me. If I'm walking by
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the Spirit, I don't have time for the flesh. I like that.
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Since you were bringing up all the sex analogies— yeah,
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I mean, all right, prayer. Father God,
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show me what is driving my thoughts and actions today.
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Through Your Holy Spirit, free me from fear
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and self-centeredness. Shape my life through the example of Jesus and
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lead me in the path of humility and service. Amen.
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Amen. Good stuff.
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How they cheated me. Who cheated
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you? Wherever I got this bobble burst.
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Oh, you can't find it again now? No, I found it. It's just,
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it's not what I, uh,
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investigating a different version than I wanted.
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Oh, I mean, take your time, Corey. It's not like we're rolling or anything.
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We actually are. So this will be good post-pod content right here. Thank you.
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All right. Oh, I do
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want to, uh, but you said something on one of them the other day
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about you were looking at different versions of the Bible to find the
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version that most said what you wanted it to say, which is the complete opposite
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of how you should study the Bible. The Bible should be speaking to you,
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not you speaking into it. That's what we call in seminary eisegesis, which is putting
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my thoughts into the Bible versus exegesis, which is taking God's
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thoughts out of the text. Call it taxonomy too, and that's called proof text.
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Yeah, all those things. Exactly. You're Right. It's a
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word though. It is a word. It's the word.