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Transcript

187. When the Holidays + Divorce = TOO MUCH (Overstimulated & Anxious) and What To Do About It · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:49
  Speaker 1: This episode is for you if you're feeling any of these things Pressure, guilt, stress, anxiety, overwhelm, under-supported or struggling to process your grief.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Hi love, welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave and build back your confidence.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer and divorcee.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: First things first, I want to shout out a friend of the show, sarah.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: She is a premium subscriber.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Sarah, you have a little book emoji, which I love inside of premium subscription content.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: And, sarah, I want to know because you must be a lover of learning what are some of your other favorite podcasts, what are some of the books that you've read that have just been so impactful in your life?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Please, please, please, send me a DM or an email or a text message, or carry a pigeon and tell me what else do you love to learn.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being one of our premium subscribers.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Pigeon, and tell me what else do you love to learn.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being one of our premium subscribers.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Love you All right.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Today's episode, we're doing something really different.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: This is going to be a departure from our typical format and I am really excited about it when we are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out and like packed to the gills, especially during the holidays overwhelmed and stressed out and like packed to the gills, especially during the holidays.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: So so, so often, as women, we continue to function under this level of pressure and just coach ourselves like just got to get through it, just got to get through it, just got to get through it.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: And I will tell you, I came down this morning to the studio and was like feeling all this way and I was like what I need right now, more than anything, is actually a break, some rest, some white space to just process what I need to process, to remember the things that I've forgotten, to not put more input in my brain or in my body.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: And I was sitting here with Producer Joy and saying how can I accomplish helping our listeners receive and experience the thing that I know, as a woman during the holidays, I need right now?
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: And so we came up with this In all my years of being a healer and a student, right, whether I am the one that's providing the healing treatment or the one that's providing the healing treatment or the one that's receiving it.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: One of the things that stood out to me about women and how we function is that we get to these sort of limiting spots in our process and we fail to break through a particular limiting spot until someone gives us permission and validation to go for the thing that we already knew was true, or what you already knew we needed.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: And so in today's episode, we're going to do three things.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Number one I am going to give you permission to rest for the next 20 minutes To rest.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Permission to rest Because love that is probably if you identified with the things I said at the top of the episode you need rest, and so I am here to give you permission to do that thing you know you need, but you probably would struggle to give yourself permission to do.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: In fact, I'm going to prescribe it, prescribed rest.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: You can tell whoever needs to hear this that Coach Dawn said therapist's note written boom, right.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: And so the second thing that I want you to hear today is that I am prescribing rest for you.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: That I want you to hear today is that I am prescribing rest for you.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: And so for the next 15 minutes on the podcast.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: You are going to have intentional boundaried space for you to rest, and so what does that mean?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I want you to just sit quietly, whether you're driving or you're folding laundry or you're, you know, in car line or you're at work.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I want you to take 15 minutes prescribed to just be, to stop doing and just be.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: You will hear some beautiful 528 hertz music playing, and this is a prescription, right?
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: You have permission and I am, in fact, telling you that this is what you need and I want you to claim it for yourself.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Now, while you are doing prescribed rest, I want you to do a couple of body scans where you just really tune into your body from the top of your head down through right, your eyes, your jaw, your throat, your chest, your hips, your stomach, your knees, your feet.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Right, I want you to do a body scan.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I want you to notice any body sensations.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I want you to consider, during your prescribed rest, to do some humming, because very often, what is probably going to happen for you is you're going to have some monkey mind, right?
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: The mind is going to say, like am I doing this right?
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: What is supposed to happen?
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I really should be doing a million other things right now and when you start humming, it will help ground your body and your nervous system so that you can sort of be in the process of prescribed rest a little more.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: And I want you to consider if not humming or maybe, after you've done some humming, to do some vagal breathing.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Gentle reminder we have an entire episode on vagal breathing.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Maybe we'll re-release that this holiday season.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: And this is where your exhale is longer than your inhale, right?
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: So a nice deep down into your diaphragm, inhale a hold and then an exhale that's intentionally longer, and what that does is it activates not only your quantum body but it regulates your nervous system and it helps everything just sort of settle in, right?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: So during this prescribed rest, you have three options that I want you to use Body scan, humming, vagal breathing and there is no doing it wrong and there is no doing it right.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Right, the goal is to not have anything else that you have to do other than rest.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Now, after the prescribed rest, I'm going to lead you through a somatic exercise to help you release whatever came up, if anything came up during the rest the rest.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: So you'll want to really be in this episode, even though it's not a heavy talking episode.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: It is a heavy, not heavy, it's an intentional.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: That's a way better way to say it, dawn.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: It's an intentional episode to give you the exact medicine your body is calling for right now.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: No-transcript, all right now for a somatic exercise to release whatever came up during your day.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Rest Now I want you to really dial in to whatever it is that you noticed in your body, mind, during that rest period.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Was there resistance?
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Was there tension?
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Was there release?
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Was there emotion?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: What was it?
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: I want you to put a hand exactly where you felt the most significant sensation during your rest.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: So, if it was in your brain, I want you to put a hand on your head.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: If it was in your chest, a hand on your chest If it was in your stomach, in your stomach, right, you get the idea.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Gentle hand wherever you felt it.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Now, remember, we're doing somatic work.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: So that's body work, body release, right Of what's in the cells.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: So, with that gentle hand, now, out loud, I want you to describe the sensation that was most predominant during your prescribed rest period.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Just some ideas Is it hot, cold, pointy, dark light?
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Does it have a color?
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Go for it, be creative.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: And now, with that hand, in that area where you've noticed the most activation, and having described the sensation of that activation, I want you to make an intentional and powerful sound with your voice.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: It might feel awkward as heck, it might feel gritty and weird, it might feel like you have to force it, or it might just feel so good and like such a powerful release.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: All of those are brilliant A really powerful sound from deep within you.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: It may be a growl, it may be a roar, it might be a wail, it might be a scream, it doesn't matter what it is love, but give it everything you've got and do not shortchange yourself and avoid this.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Do not let your ego or your monkey mind talk you out of it.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: You need this, you need this, you need this.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Go for it, let it out Louder More and if your kids ask you what's happening, tell them mom is getting her groove back.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Now I want you to take a deep, clearing breath down into the belly and sigh One more of those.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: When you're ready, release your hand and just give yourself a moment.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: This love is an episode you can come back to over and over and over again.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: To just allow me to sit with you and hold space for prescribed intentional permission to rest.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: The only thing that would have made it better is if I could have brushed your hair for you while you were doing it.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Right Would have been amazing.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: But feel free to visualize that the next time you listen to this episode.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: Sending you so much love during this holiday season.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Peace, dear Divorce Diary is a podcast by MyCoachDawn.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: You can find more at mycoachdawncom.