Latest / Come Back to Love: / Come Back To Love September 17, 2026 What Relationship Reveals
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: Welcome to Come Back to Love with your host, Robin Vogel.
- 0:05Speaker 1: Each week at this same time, Come Back to Love
- 0:08Speaker 1: covers an endless array of topics related to relationships, love,
- 0:12Speaker 1: and intimacy, along with all the reasons you may be
- 0:15Speaker 1: keeping love at a distance. Can a shattered heart be
- 0:17Speaker 1: your doorway to your greatest love story? Robin will give
- 0:21Speaker 1: you practical tools that can be used to heal the
- 0:23Speaker 1: past and help you to safely love again. And now,
- 0:27Speaker 1: today's Come Back to Love.
- 0:30Speaker 2: Welcome to Come Back to Love. I'm Robin Vogel and
- 0:33Speaker 2: this is KMET Radio. We are live on Thursdays, 1.30pm Pacific, 4.30pm Eastern.
- 0:41Speaker 2: And I'm here today with a solo show. I haven't
- 0:43Speaker 2: done a solo show in a while. I had lots
- 0:45Speaker 2: of amazing guests the last couple of months. And I'm
- 0:49Speaker 2: happy to be here solo speaking with you, my listeners,
- 0:53Speaker 2: about a very important topic this week. Of course, it
- 0:56Speaker 2: has to do with love. That's why we're here. I
- 0:59Speaker 2: want to also shout out to a dear friend whose
- 1:03Speaker 2: name is Lisa Campion. You can find her online or
- 1:06Speaker 2: any social media platform. She is an incredible professional psychic,
- 1:12Speaker 2: intuitive healer, and all around amazing woman and dear friend.
- 1:16Speaker 2: And she wrote about this topic this week, a version
- 1:19Speaker 2: of this topic we're going to talk about today that
- 1:22Speaker 2: has to do with some underlying underneath longings that show
- 1:27Speaker 2: up in our desire for relationship. And her words just
- 1:31Speaker 2: resonated so deeply with my own thinking, my own teaching,
- 1:36Speaker 2: my own musings. And I thought I would bring this
- 1:39Speaker 2: topic to you today because I do really feel that
- 1:43Speaker 2: there's something underneath a lot of our longing for relationship
- 1:46Speaker 2: that we don't talk about. We don't say it out loud.
- 1:49Speaker 2: So we're going to talk about it today. So strap
- 1:53Speaker 2: in or put your headset on, set head on and
- 1:56Speaker 2: go for a walk, whatever it is that you're doing
- 1:58Speaker 2: while you're listening in, whether you're live on the radio
- 2:00Speaker 2: on Thursday, or you're listening via a podcast. I'm glad
- 2:04Speaker 2: you're here. So here's the thing. We say we want
- 2:10Speaker 2: a partner, right? We want a partner, we want to
- 2:13Speaker 2: be in relationship, we want intimacy, we want someone who
- 2:16Speaker 2: loves us. Someone who's emotionally available, someone who communicates really well,
- 2:22Speaker 2: like rockstar communication. We say we want someone who's committed,
- 2:26Speaker 2: someone who chooses us. All of that is true, right?
- 2:31Speaker 2: But sometimes underneath that desire, there's another longing. I'm just
- 2:36Speaker 2: going to give you a moment to take a breath
- 2:38Speaker 2: and maybe just become aware of some other underlying longings
- 2:42Speaker 2: that you have right now. So sometimes there's another longing
- 2:48Speaker 2: that's underneath. Maybe, just maybe this person, this potential partner
- 2:55Speaker 2: or this current partner will finally give me what I
- 2:59Speaker 2: didn't get. Some version of that thought and that thinking.
- 3:04Speaker 2: What are those things? Presence, attunement, safety, a feeling of
- 3:12Speaker 2: being seen, that feeling of being special. that feeling of
- 3:17Speaker 2: being chosen, listened to. How about a parent who stays?
- 3:25Speaker 2: Or that the person doesn't leave? That the person or
- 3:30Speaker 2: potential partner can finally say, you're enough, you're worth loving,
- 3:37Speaker 2: you're worth staying for. And if you've ever found yourself
- 3:42Speaker 2: desperately wanting someone to choose you, or feeling devastated when
- 3:46Speaker 2: somebody pulls away or becoming preoccupied with whether someone really
- 3:50Speaker 2: loves you, maybe you're doing that. I don't want you
- 3:54Speaker 2: to hear that as something wrong, because that there is
- 3:58Speaker 2: nothing wrong with those thoughts. Our thoughts, those thoughts and
- 4:01Speaker 2: our thoughts are just normal being human. It's not a
- 4:03Speaker 2: character flaw. It's actually what is unhealed, what unhealed places do.
- 4:10Speaker 2: That's a better way of saying it. It's what unhealed
- 4:13Speaker 2: places do that create these thoughts. They reach these unhealed
- 4:16Speaker 2: places for the nearest warm body and ask it to
- 4:20Speaker 2: finish the job. My mom didn't stay in my case.
- 4:25Speaker 2: So there's an underlying feeling and really intense craving that
- 4:34Speaker 2: the person that I partner with stays. So I know
- 4:41Speaker 2: that's kind of a provocative thing to say, and I
- 4:43Speaker 2: shared a little bit of my own story there. I'm
- 4:45Speaker 2: curious what yours, your story is. Always feel free to
- 4:49Speaker 2: reach out to me at Robin with a Y at ComeBackToLove.com.
- 4:53Speaker 2: Share your thoughts, share your musings, share your questions, share
- 4:57Speaker 2: your responses to my questions. I love to hear from
- 5:00Speaker 2: my listeners. So again, I know that's a provocative thing
- 5:04Speaker 2: to say, but I've been doing this work for decades
- 5:07Speaker 2: and I've watched this play out over and over and
- 5:09Speaker 2: over again. We meet someone, we fall in love, or
- 5:13Speaker 2: we fall in lust, or we fall in infatuation. And
- 5:16Speaker 2: without even realizing it, we hand them a job description
- 5:19Speaker 2: they never agreed to. Make me feel safe. Make me
- 5:24Speaker 2: feel lovable. Make sure I never, ever feel abandoned. Prove
- 5:32Speaker 2: to me that I'm enough. Never neglect any of my needs.
- 5:38Speaker 2: Don't ever hurt me. And then we're surprised when the
- 5:43Speaker 2: relationship can't carry the weight of all of that. How
- 5:48Speaker 2: could it possibly? But here's the thing I've come to understand.
- 5:53Speaker 2: Relationship was never designed, first of all, to be given
- 5:58Speaker 2: a job description to carry out. It was never designed
- 6:03Speaker 2: to be comfortable. Relationship is designed to be revealing. This
- 6:09Speaker 2: is one of those paradigm shifts that nobody likes to hear,
- 6:13Speaker 2: but I'm going to say it. And I always say it.
- 6:15Speaker 2: I'm going to say it again. Relationship was never designed
- 6:18Speaker 2: to be comfortable. Relationship was designed, spiritually speaking, to be revealing.
- 6:25Speaker 2: And if we can shift our perspective just a little bit,
- 6:29Speaker 2: that can change the entire way we experience love. Because
- 6:33Speaker 2: what if the person you're with isn't simply there to
- 6:37Speaker 2: make you happy? What if they're also there to show
- 6:40Speaker 2: you where you still have work to do? What if
- 6:45Speaker 2: intimacy is actually one of the fastest ways we can
- 6:49Speaker 2: see our own patterns? Not because our partner is doing
- 6:53Speaker 2: something wrong, but because they matter enough to us to
- 6:58Speaker 2: activate the places we can't see when we're alone. That's
- 7:03Speaker 2: really big. I'm gonna I'm gonna just like summarize highlight
- 7:06Speaker 2: that again one more time. So just the last piece.
- 7:09Speaker 2: What if intimacy is actually one of the fastest ways
- 7:13Speaker 2: we can see our own patterns? Because truthfully, it is.
- 7:16Speaker 2: That's been my experience. Not because our partner is doing
- 7:20Speaker 2: something wrong. That's a big statement, because most people think
- 7:23Speaker 2: their partners are doing something wrong. But because they matter
- 7:27Speaker 2: enough to us to activate the places we can't see
- 7:30Speaker 2: when we're alone. So that's what I want to explore today.
- 7:37Speaker 2: And I want to talk about what conscious love actually
- 7:39Speaker 2: looks like when two imperfect human beings are trying to
- 7:43Speaker 2: love each other without handing over the job description and
- 7:46Speaker 2: then being totally disappointed that the person can't actually be
- 7:51Speaker 2: successful with the job description that was handed to them.
- 7:55Speaker 2: Relationship is a great excavator, an excavator of the parts
- 8:00Speaker 2: of ourselves that haven't been healed yet. and that want
- 8:04Speaker 2: to be healed. That's the key. I've spent much of
- 8:09Speaker 2: my professional life sitting with people around love and intimacy,
- 8:13Speaker 2: as you know, and one of the things I've noticed
- 8:15Speaker 2: is that we can do an enormous amount of healing
- 8:18Speaker 2: when we're alone, we can, we can meditate, we can journal,
- 8:22Speaker 2: we can go to therapy, we can go on retreats,
- 8:24Speaker 2: we can read all the books, we can understand our
- 8:26Speaker 2: childhood and We can know our attachment style. We can
- 8:29Speaker 2: understand our parts. We can have tremendous insight. And we have.
- 8:34Speaker 2: And then we fall in love. And suddenly, all bets
- 8:37Speaker 2: are off. Have you experienced this?
- 8:42Speaker 1: I have.
- 8:44Speaker 2: Because now somebody else is involved. Somebody who doesn't necessarily
- 8:47Speaker 2: do things the way we would do them ourselves. Somebody
- 8:51Speaker 2: who doesn't always understand us. Not always. Somebody who occasionally
- 8:55Speaker 2: doesn't text back. Somebody who has needs that are different
- 8:59Speaker 2: from ours. Somebody who says something that lands right on
- 9:03Speaker 2: an old wound. Ouch. And suddenly we're thinking, oh, oh, oh,
- 9:10Speaker 2: apparently I'm not as healed as I thought I was
- 9:12Speaker 2: because I'm triggered. I'm activated. I'm upset. I'm making them wrong.
- 9:18Speaker 2: I thought this was it. And I want to say,
- 9:22Speaker 2: I actually think that's wonderful. Because relationship becomes a kind
- 9:27Speaker 2: of spiritual practice. It shows us, it reveals, it brings
- 9:32Speaker 2: things to the surface that might otherwise remain hidden. You
- 9:36Speaker 2: don't have to wonder if abandonment is an issue when
- 9:39Speaker 2: somebody you love pulls away and your entire body says
- 9:42Speaker 2: they're leaving and you're shaking and filled with anxiety and upset.
- 9:47Speaker 2: You don't have to wonder if being chosen is an
- 9:49Speaker 2: issue when your partner seems distracted and something inside you says,
- 9:54Speaker 2: I'm not important. They don't think I'm important. You don't
- 9:59Speaker 2: have to wonder. if receiving is difficult. When somebody offers
- 10:03Speaker 2: you something beautiful and your first response is, oh, you
- 10:06Speaker 2: shouldn't have, or it's too much, or you immediately go
- 10:10Speaker 2: into like, what can I do for you? There it is.
- 10:14Speaker 2: There's the pattern. There's the piece that wants your attention.
- 10:18Speaker 2: There's the part that's ready to be healed. So I
- 10:21Speaker 2: want to make an important distinction here. I'm not saying
- 10:24Speaker 2: every difficult relationship is a gift. I'm not. Because some
- 10:27Speaker 2: relationships were just not meant to be not meant to
- 10:30Speaker 2: continue or a meant to were meant to be for
- 10:32Speaker 2: a certain period of time, and then meant to close.
- 10:36Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that decision is easy either. So
- 10:38Speaker 2: don't hear me. That's a whole other episode. So don't
- 10:41Speaker 2: hear me say that. Again, that's a whole other episode.
- 10:44Speaker 2: So I'm not saying you should stay in something unhealthy,
- 10:47Speaker 2: because well, it's triggering my childhood wounds. And you know,
- 10:50Speaker 2: I need to deal with my childhood wounds. There is
- 10:53Speaker 2: a distinction here. It's not that easy to make. This
- 10:56Speaker 2: is a time when most people do reach out for support.
- 10:59Speaker 2: It certainly was a time when I reached out for
- 11:01Speaker 2: support 20 years ago when I couldn't figure it out.
- 11:03Speaker 2: When I was married, I ended up divorcing, but I
- 11:07Speaker 2: definitely needed lots of support to figure out what to
- 11:10Speaker 2: do and what was in alignment for me. So I'm
- 11:14Speaker 2: absolutely not saying that we do need discernment, we need boundaries,
- 11:18Speaker 2: we need safety. But in a relationship, where there is
- 11:23Speaker 2: fundamental care and respect and goodwill, honesty, kindness, support, love,
- 11:31Speaker 2: the difficult moments can become extraordinary opportunities. Instead of, why
- 11:37Speaker 2: is my partner doing this to me? We can begin asking,
- 11:43Speaker 2: what is this bringing up in me? That's a very
- 11:46Speaker 2: different question. And it doesn't mean we let our partners
- 11:50Speaker 2: off the hook. it means we become willing to look
- 11:54Speaker 2: at a bigger picture. And I want to add like,
- 11:57Speaker 2: I'm using the word partner here. But this also applies
- 12:00Speaker 2: to like someone you're dating, because things can come up
- 12:03Speaker 2: even in a dating relationship where you're considering a potential partner,
- 12:08Speaker 2: the gifts can show up there, you know, and the
- 12:11Speaker 2: discernment is needed there, certainly. So let's go back to
- 12:17Speaker 2: the quiet part that isn't spoken. Maybe this person will
- 12:20Speaker 2: finally give me what I didn't get. I want to
- 12:23Speaker 2: hand over this job description, please. I want them to
- 12:26Speaker 2: fill it. So I know, I know this one personally,
- 12:30Speaker 2: as you might know, those of you that have been
- 12:31Speaker 2: listening for the last several months to my radio show,
- 12:35Speaker 2: I share a lot of my own personal journey. I've
- 12:38Speaker 2: had my own experience and heartache and heartbreak with abandonment,
- 12:45Speaker 2: with feeling unlovable, with learning things. how to receive. I
- 12:50Speaker 2: certainly wasn't able to receive for such a long time
- 12:52Speaker 2: in my life with learning not to abandon myself in
- 12:56Speaker 2: order to be loved. And one of the most profound
- 13:00Speaker 2: things I've had to learn is nobody can go back
- 13:02Speaker 2: and give me the childhood I didn't have. Nobody can
- 13:06Speaker 2: become the person who didn't leave. Nobody can retroactively change
- 13:13Speaker 2: my history. But somebody can meet me right now. Somebody
- 13:19Speaker 2: can be present with me right now. Somebody can listen.
- 13:24Speaker 2: Somebody can repair. Somebody can say, I see you. I'm here.
- 13:30Speaker 2: I don't agree, perhaps with you, but I want to
- 13:33Speaker 2: understand you. We had a rupture. Let's come back. Let's repair.
- 13:39Speaker 2: And this is so deeply healing. Oh my goodness. My experience...
- 13:45Speaker 2: is that this is so deeply healing. It's different from
- 13:51Speaker 2: asking another person to fix us, to fix our wound.
- 13:53Speaker 2: And this distinction is so important and can be hard
- 13:57Speaker 2: to access. There's a difference between sharing your inner world
- 14:01Speaker 2: and asking your partner to manage your inner world. I'm
- 14:04Speaker 2: going to say that again. There's a difference between sharing
- 14:07Speaker 2: your inner world with a beloved and asking that beloved
- 14:13Speaker 2: to manage it for you. Sharing says something got activated
- 14:18Speaker 2: in me and I want to tell you about it.
- 14:20Speaker 2: Sharing says I'm feeling afraid and these are the things
- 14:23Speaker 2: I'm feeling afraid about. Sharing is when you didn't call,
- 14:28Speaker 2: I noticed how quickly I went into the story that
- 14:30Speaker 2: you don't care about me anymore. You might say, I
- 14:34Speaker 2: know that's not necessarily the whole truth, but that's what
- 14:36Speaker 2: happened inside me. That my friends is vulnerability. That's intimacy.
- 14:43Speaker 2: Managing when you ask someone to manage your inner world,
- 14:48Speaker 2: it can sound like this. You need to stop doing
- 14:51Speaker 2: that because it makes me anxious. You need to reassure
- 14:54Speaker 2: me until I feel okay about myself. I shouldn't ever
- 14:58Speaker 2: do anything that triggers me. Can't you change your behavior?
- 15:00Speaker 2: Does that sound familiar? Now, sometimes we absolutely need to
- 15:07Speaker 2: ask for different behavior, but there's a difference between saying,
- 15:11Speaker 2: I need you to communicate with me differently and saying,
- 15:14Speaker 2: You are responsible for making sure I never feel triggered, right?
- 15:20Speaker 2: Because that's just impossible anyway. And here's something I say
- 15:24Speaker 2: a lot. Your partner isn't responsible for your healing, but
- 15:30Speaker 2: your partner can absolutely become part of the environment in
- 15:33Speaker 2: which healing happens. And that's a beautiful distinction and a really,
- 15:38Speaker 2: really important distinction. So let's talk about projection because this
- 15:43Speaker 2: is one of the most fascinating things that happens in
- 15:46Speaker 2: intimate relationship. Projection is essentially when something from our internal
- 15:51Speaker 2: world gets placed onto what's happening right now. And here's
- 15:56Speaker 2: the tricky part. The present may contain something real. Your
- 16:00Speaker 2: partner really may have disappointed you. They really may have forgotten.
- 16:04Speaker 2: They really may have been insensitive. So we don't want
- 16:08Speaker 2: to use the word projection to invalidate our experience. Instead,
- 16:11Speaker 2: we can ask, is what I'm experiencing entirely about what
- 16:15Speaker 2: just happened now? Or does it have roots in the past?
- 16:21Speaker 2: One of my favorite questions, does the intensity of my
- 16:24Speaker 2: reaction match the size of what just happened? That's a really,
- 16:29Speaker 2: really good question to ask yourself. Because sometimes our reaction
- 16:34Speaker 2: is not right size with what just happened now in
- 16:37Speaker 2: the present, because the roots are in the past. Your
- 16:41Speaker 2: partner says, for example, I'm tired. Can we talk tomorrow?
- 16:44Speaker 2: And something inside you goes, they don't love me. They're
- 16:47Speaker 2: pulling away. The relationship's over. I'm going to be alone.
- 16:49Speaker 2: I'm going to, they're going to leave me. Stop. Take
- 16:53Speaker 2: a breath. It's so hard when that happens. And sometimes
- 16:56Speaker 2: we just can't control it. It just happens. But what
- 17:00Speaker 2: did happen? They just said they're tired. I always invite
- 17:04Speaker 2: my clients and workshop participants to go back to the data.
- 17:07Speaker 2: What did they say? They said, I'm tired. That's what happened.
- 17:11Speaker 2: That's it. That's all that happened. They said, I'm tired.
- 17:14Speaker 2: Can we talk tomorrow? But then everything else happened inside you, right?
- 17:21Speaker 2: The inner everything else, all the other reactions, they don't
- 17:24Speaker 2: love me, they're pulling away. That's all that happened. All
- 17:28Speaker 2: those things happened inside you. in response to the one
- 17:32Speaker 2: thing that they said, which is I'm tired. It happens
- 17:36Speaker 2: all the time. And that inner experience deserves compassion, not shame.
- 17:42Speaker 2: You didn't do anything wrong because somewhere in your history,
- 17:45Speaker 2: perhaps someone is tired and unavailable. Someone who maybe said
- 17:50Speaker 2: that over and over again, it became connected with, I'm
- 17:54Speaker 2: not important. I'm not lovable. I'm not wanted. They're going away.
- 17:57Speaker 2: They're leaving. That's the excavation work. And this is where
- 18:02Speaker 2: I love the language of parts. As you know, or
- 18:06Speaker 2: maybe don't know if you're listening for the first time,
- 18:08Speaker 2: I'm an internal family systems therapist. I've been doing that
- 18:11Speaker 2: work for 26 years. And I love it. I love
- 18:15Speaker 2: the language of parts. Because instead of saying, I'm being ridiculous,
- 18:19Speaker 2: we can say, oh, there's a part of me that
- 18:22Speaker 2: is terrified right now. And rather than handing that part
- 18:26Speaker 2: to our partner and saying, you fix this, You can
- 18:30Speaker 2: turn to yourself. You can turn to this part inside yourself.
- 18:34Speaker 2: You can say, I see you. I know you're scared.
- 18:38Speaker 2: You think tired means they're leaving. You think tired means
- 18:41Speaker 2: they don't love you. I'm here. I'm listening. Hand on
- 18:46Speaker 2: your own heart. And then from that more grounded place,
- 18:51Speaker 2: we can turn towards our partner and say, I hear
- 18:55Speaker 2: you're tired. That's a completely different conversation. That's what I
- 19:00Speaker 2: mean by conscious relationship. Not that you stop having your
- 19:04Speaker 2: stuff and they stop having their stuff, but you become
- 19:07Speaker 2: conscious of your stuff. You notice, you own what's yours,
- 19:12Speaker 2: and you come back in a grounded conscious way. I
- 19:15Speaker 2: hear you're tired and you want to talk tomorrow. I'm
- 19:18Speaker 2: feeling disappointed because I was really looking forward to talking today.
- 19:21Speaker 2: I noticed it triggered some stuff from the past. So
- 19:24Speaker 2: I'm loving myself in this moment. And yes, sure, of course,
- 19:28Speaker 2: we can talk tomorrow. Just as an example. So that
- 19:34Speaker 2: brings me to repair, which is pretty much what I
- 19:37Speaker 2: just gave you an example of repair. Because we have
- 19:42Speaker 2: this fantasy that if we find the right person, the
- 19:44Speaker 2: relationship will be easy. You'll never fight, you'll totally understand
- 19:48Speaker 2: each other, you'll never hurt each other. I think that
- 19:50Speaker 2: sets everyone up for disappointment. Because you're bringing two entirely,
- 19:55Speaker 2: you know, distinct human beings with your own histories into
- 19:59Speaker 2: one relationship, two nervous systems, two families, two sets of beliefs,
- 20:03Speaker 2: two ways of communicating, two ways of protecting ourselves. Of course,
- 20:09Speaker 2: you're going to step on each other's toes. The question isn't,
- 20:11Speaker 2: will we rupture? The question is, can we repair? How
- 20:15Speaker 2: will we repair? Can I come back to love after
- 20:20Speaker 2: I've been defensive? Can I say I was wrong? Can
- 20:23Speaker 2: I say, I see now that I was making you
- 20:25Speaker 2: responsible for something that really belongs to me and my history.
- 20:30Speaker 2: Can you say I was triggered and I didn't handle
- 20:33Speaker 2: it well? I'm sorry. Can you say what you did
- 20:38Speaker 2: hurt me? And I would love us to talk about that.
- 20:41Speaker 2: Because repair isn't about taking all the blame or blaming
- 20:44Speaker 2: the other. Repair isn't everything was my fault or everything
- 20:47Speaker 2: was your fault. Repair is I care more about our
- 20:51Speaker 2: connection than I care about being right. And sometimes repair
- 20:54Speaker 2: takes time. Sometimes it requires a boundary. Sometimes it requires
- 20:58Speaker 2: a very difficult conversation. But conscious love is not about
- 21:03Speaker 2: never hurting each other. It's not about It's not about that.
- 21:06Speaker 2: It's about having the capacity to find each other again,
- 21:09Speaker 2: to come back to love. Perfection doesn't create intimacy. Truth
- 21:15Speaker 2: and vulnerability create intimacy. So can you allow yourself to
- 21:25Speaker 2: be seen in this capacity in relationship? How do you
- 21:31Speaker 2: attract and keep conscious love? You start by becoming someone
- 21:37Speaker 2: who can participate in conscious love. Because here's something interesting.
- 21:43Speaker 2: You can meet an emotionally available person and not know
- 21:46Speaker 2: what to do with them. You can meet somebody consistent
- 21:49Speaker 2: and find it boring. You can meet someone who doesn't
- 21:52Speaker 2: make you chase them and suddenly wonder where's the chemistry.
- 21:57Speaker 2: Sometimes what we call chemistry is actually familiarity. Our nervous
- 22:00Speaker 2: systems can become very acquainted with and very accustomed to uncertainty,
- 22:05Speaker 2: to longing, to pursuing, to wondering, do they want me?
- 22:09Speaker 2: And all of that is just a pattern. And again,
- 22:12Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong. It's just the question of can you
- 22:16Speaker 2: do it differently? Can you stay with yourself while loving
- 22:19Speaker 2: someone else? Can you allow them to be different from you?
- 22:24Speaker 2: Can you stop trying to control the outcome? Can you
- 22:27Speaker 2: communicate instead of testing them? Can you ask a question
- 22:32Speaker 2: instead of assuming? Can you repair instead of withdraw? Can
- 22:37Speaker 2: you receive? Period. Can you receive? Can you choose love
- 22:44Speaker 2: without abandoning yourself? That's the work. So I'll leave you
- 22:49Speaker 2: with this. You don't need a partner who has no wounds.
- 22:52Speaker 2: You need two people willing to do their own work
- 22:54Speaker 2: in each other's company. You don't need someone who never
- 22:57Speaker 2: triggers you. You need someone with whom you can become
- 23:00Speaker 2: more conscious when you are triggered. You don't need someone
- 23:04Speaker 2: who will never disappoint you. You need someone willing to repair.
- 23:07Speaker 2: And you don't need someone to go back and give
- 23:09Speaker 2: you the childhood you didn't have. You need someone to
- 23:12Speaker 2: become increasingly able. You need to become someone yourself, sorry,
- 23:16Speaker 2: to be completely able to give yourself what you didn't
- 23:21Speaker 2: receive while allowing the other person to love you in
- 23:25Speaker 2: the present. Because perhaps relationship isn't here to rescue you
- 23:29Speaker 2: from humanity. Perhaps it's here again to reveal. to show
- 23:34Speaker 2: you the places where you still abandon yourself, the places
- 23:38Speaker 2: where you still don't trust yet, the places where you're
- 23:41Speaker 2: not quite ready to fully receive. And perhaps these aren't failures,
- 23:47Speaker 2: perhaps they're invitations. So the next time you find yourself
- 23:50Speaker 2: activated by someone you love, before you ask what's wrong
- 23:53Speaker 2: with them, or even what's wrong with me, pause and
- 23:57Speaker 2: take a breath and ask, what is this relationship revealing
- 24:01Speaker 2: to me? Because the question, that question opens a door
- 24:06Speaker 2: and the other one closes it. Sometimes behind that door
- 24:11Speaker 2: is the very part of you that has been waiting,
- 24:14Speaker 2: not for somebody else to save or to be saved,
- 24:20Speaker 2: but for you to finally come home and give it
- 24:23Speaker 2: the attention that you require and desire. I'm Robin Vogel.
- 24:28Speaker 2: This is Come Back to Love Radio. We are on
- 24:30Speaker 2: KMET every Thursday, live 1.30 p.m. Pacific and 4.30 p.m. Eastern.
- 24:37Speaker 2: And as always, the invitation is simple. Come back to love,
- 24:42Speaker 2: no matter what. I'll see you next time. Hi, this
- 24:46Speaker 2: is Robin Vogel, host of Come Back to Love. If
- 24:49Speaker 2: you are ready to heal the past and open your
- 24:51Speaker 2: heart to love again, I want to talk with you.
- 24:53Speaker 2: Book a free 30-minute private conversation with me at ComeBackToLove.com.
- 24:58Speaker 2: I'll meet you where you are and give you real
- 25:00Speaker 2: tools you can use right now. Because love isn't just
- 25:02Speaker 2: possible for you. It's waiting for you. Go to ComeBackToLove.com
- 25:07Speaker 2: and book your free 30 minutes today.
- 25:16Speaker 1: You've been listening to Come Back to Love with Robin Vogel,
- 25:20Speaker 1: a transformative program that covers an endless array of topics
- 25:23Speaker 1: related to relationships, love, and intimacy, along with all the
- 25:27Speaker 1: reasons you may be keeping love at a distance. Tune
- 25:30Speaker 1: in each week as Robin gives you practical tools that
- 25:32Speaker 1: can be used to heal the past and help you
- 25:35Speaker 1: to safely love again. Join Robin again next week at
- 25:38Speaker 1: the same time for Come Back to Love.