Latest / The D.L. Hughley Show / DLHS Hour 3 | Talking All that Jazz with mental health expert Chris Matthews

Transcript

DLHS Hour 3 | Talking All that Jazz with mental health expert Chris Matthews · The D.L. Hughley Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I was.
• 0:00
  Speaker 2: I was watching ste Van Jones says something I had
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: to agree with.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: What why, you know, I was so shocked to hear this.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Van Jones said something I had to agree with. He
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: said that it's difficult to talk about where the violence
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: and steming from when you pardon January sixth, who perpetrated violence,
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: when you tried to vacate the sendate of the sentences
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: of the Oathkeepers and the Proud Boys who were who
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: were violated trying to overthrow the government. And if you
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: if you support the oathkeeper keepers and you an elected officials,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: you already violated Joe, because you're supposed to take protect
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: the country from enemies foreign and domestic.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, And.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: There's no question that they're criminals because just about all
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: of the ones that he parted and went back to
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: jail got rearrested.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: They were they had the most serious violent charges.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: So he's not just letting them go.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: There were some people obviously that were just you know, trespassing,
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: you know, but these people were the most violent. They
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: were the worst of the worst, and that's why he
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: didn't pardon them. He's vacating their senses. So there's a difference.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: So I think that that it says a lot about
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: who foments vile you. You made jokes about a husband,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: a eighty seven year old man getting beat with a
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: tyrannt man in the head. You made jokes about Rob Reiner.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: And incidentally, I could I could never imagine killing my mother.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: I know she could imagine killing me though. I know
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: that's what she took. A couple ted, but and you know,
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: adding insult to injury. Not only did they murder their pay,
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: did he murder his parents? And hainus fashion. He's trying
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: to use their money to defend himself. You better, man,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: I wish you would.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Well. He said something like he feels like he got
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: the short end of the stick.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: I'm like, nobody didn't get the end of it. Shut up,
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: I tell what he said. He's like, I lost everything.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and no, they really lost everything exactly, they really
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: lost everything. Oh, man, how you're gonna be a mass
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: murderer Anfield?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: You killed your.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Mama, Man, your mama and your dad. There's not many
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: places you can go after that. I don't feel sorry
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: for you at all.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Well, there's one place you can go.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Wat Yeah, he was hearing voice. But one of them
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: should have told you to sit down. It is it's weird.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: People are doing weird stuff and they just revel in,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Like did you see Sean Hannity talking about violent rhetoric?
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Did you just leave Catholicism because you said the Pope
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: said with The Pope got into a Twitter beef with
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: the President of the United States of America for saying,
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: blessed are the peacekeepers peacemakers right, blessed are the peacemakers right?
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: He was against the war and Sean Handy was so
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: incense he left Catholicism.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: JD.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: Vance, who was supposed to be a Catholic, told the
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: priests that the Pope to stay with matters, that the
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Pope is supposed to be involved in my What's more,
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: intech go to the Pope's duties then deciding how precious
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: life is, a weighing on on the on the on
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: the sanctity of life. So these people, their religious beliefs
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: are hilarious to me until they're tested, and then all
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: of a sudden they don't matter. Pete Heximan has got
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: the cross of a of a of a white Natalists
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: on his hip.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: He's a he's a mess.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: And you know, whenever a white person tell me how
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: much they love Jesus, I know instantly they hate it.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: At the same time.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, I'm telling you.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: So, as you know, May is mental health awareness month.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: So I'm happy to have on the phone today Chris Matthews,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: who is a mental health expert. Hey, Chris, Hey, how
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: you doing. I'm doing pretty good. What about yourself?
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: I'm doing spectacular. Thanks for having me.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Oh no, thank you for being here. I think this
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: is such a great conversation to have. I know that
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: you are a licensed marriage and family therapist along with
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: you know you deal with addiction and and other things.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: I know you've written a ton of books, you have
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: online courses all of that, And really, what I want
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: to get down to, the nitty gritty, is what is
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: going on in our relationships today. I know a lot
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: of times we come into relationships individually with some type
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: of baggage and then we connect with other people and
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: now we have excess baggage. But what specifically is going
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: on with us today? Because I think there's been like
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: a seismic shift in our relationship status.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so a lot of what's going on, and people
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: are afraid to be alone, and there's a lack of
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: self love. And that's a lot of what I'm doing
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: counseling making sure that you have two partners who love themselves.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: Relationships are a hundred and a hundred. You bring all
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: of you into that relationship and the partner that brings
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: all of them. That includes the good, the bad, and ugly.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Oh, we don't like the ugly, but I know it's necessary. Well,
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: let me ask you this, Chris, because I think a
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: lot of times you may not know that you have
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: issues and I don't think they can come out, and
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: so you connect with someone else and maybe there's an
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: argument or maybe a situation that you feel is uncomfortable
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: for you, and then you realize you have all of
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: this baggage.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: What do you do at that point?
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: And what is the telltale sign initially for yourself to know,
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: you know what, It might be me.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: It might not be him, or it might not be her.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: It might be me.
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a great question. So the telltale sign is
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: going to be your family and voids. We're all going
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: to be a combination of our past experiences, our genetics,
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: our DNA, and those experienceships that occurred in our family.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: So what I do in counseling, even with individuals, I
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: make sure I go back through that lineage and we
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: use certain tools such as a genigram to understand where
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: those traumas were beyond the relationship prior to the relationship
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: when you were a child, and that's going to be
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: the origin of the group for a lot of the
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: issues that couples have in adulthood.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: Well, now this is going to be a tough one,
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: so buckle up and get ready for this one. Now,
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: how do you find because of course we already know
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: there's no use of beating hors in terms of you know,
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: black people don't like therapy, right, We've heard that forever.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: But I think now the tide is shifting. We are
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: starting to get help. But my question is how do
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: you find the person who is best suited for you
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: in terms of therapy, because you know everybody ain't for
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: everybody got you.
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: So you're right, the tide is shifting when you think
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: about just the media perception now therapy, the stigma is
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: falling off. The way you find a good therapist is
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: going to be first and foremost understanding what you want
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: from the therapy. So as a licensed manager of family therapist,
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: I'm trained to look at the systemic perspective, going beyond
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: just that individual and seeing everything that connect and I
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: would say that there are a lot of great resources
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: out there. Psychology today is a great resource. The other
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: thing you want to look at in your resources in
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: terms of how much money you can afford your assurance
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: or if you are looking at an employee assistance program,
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: because that's one of the big barriers for a lot
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: of people. It's going to be those times the time,
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: resource and the money and overall a good fit. When
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: you go into a therapist's office and you have that connection,
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: that alliance is going to be what really moves the
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: needle on change. So making sure you have that alliance
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: and that fit is going to be huge. And you
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: can do that by way of first understanding what you
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: want from the process.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: And also I would imagine understanding what you need because
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: you have to go in being completely transparent and honest about.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: Who you are exactly right, Well.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Chris, I appreciate you so much for giving us some
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: tips about mental health. Like I said, I know May
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: is Mental Health Awareness month, but I do believe, and
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: I'm sure you do too, because you do this by
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: trade that you know. We have these issues all year long.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: They don't wait until May to pop up. They actually
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: come even in June and July, certainly with the summer coming.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: And I don't want to talk about coming season. We'll
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: have that conversation later.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: So thank you so much.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: How can people reach out to you if they're interested
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: in maybe some of your online courses or your books
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: or anything like that, how can.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: They reach you?
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: So I have a direct website Chris Amatthews dot com
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: selling my name THR allR A. Matthews at two T's
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: and makett st the US. I'm also on all IG's
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: Instagram Facebook Chris A. Matthews is my tag.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Love it. Thank you so much, Chris.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to check you out on IG okay,
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: and no judgment on the pictures when you see me.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: I might be doing some crazy, thanks, but I ain't crazy,
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: all right?
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Chris. I appreciate your time.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Thank you for the pleasure, the d L you for
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: so duck hug on the day it's now time to
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: give it deserving someone the shoe booty of the Week.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Award, and now it's time for the Shoe Body of
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: the Week Award to Maria Maury Housley is an American actress,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: television host, and entrepreneur. Her comedic timing and charisma won
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: her several awards, including the Kids Choice Award for Favorite
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Female TV Star What You Want To Medal. She has
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: also starred in Sister Sister, Switches and Twitches Too, and
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: she was the co host of the talk show The Real.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: So why is Mara this week's recipient of the Shoe
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Booty of the Week Award? How quickers have happened? Silly
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Sister Mauri gets the shoe booty because the Real co
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: host didn't keep it real. On Monday, April thirteenth, the
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: former Disney Channel star made her entrance on the social
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: media platform Threads. In case you didn't know what threads is,
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Threads is like a group chat that escaped into the
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: wild and started roasting everyone. It's like Twitter after it
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: went to therapy, but still has all the receipts. So
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: when she announced herself on April thirteenth by saying I'm
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: new here, sin like she was entering a Sister Sister
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: reunion party, her reception wasn't what she expected. They were like,
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: we don't care if you're a celebrity. We're still gonna
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: side on you like you ordered something that's not on
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: the menu. We don't lock your kind around, or we
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: know you are a celebrity girl, but we don't do
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: vib very important bulls, you know what I mean? What
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: did she think was going to happen? She has to
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: know that smoke wasn't just for her. It was also
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: for our husband, former Fox News correspondent Adam Housley. He
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: is a Adam recently back the Trump Administration's proposal to
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: prohibit the use of food stamps to Maga. Had to
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: realize she got dragged for sleeping with the enemy, Maga
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: by association and it makes me cry. Can you even
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: look at him? She pulled on the wrong thread and
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: her celebrity blanket fell apart. And that's why the shoes
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Booty of the Week award goes too, Samara Maury Housley.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Now here's a swift kick in the ass.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Now it's time for what you need to Know with
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: the one only Sybil Wilkes.
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: It's Sybil Wilkes with what we need to Know former
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: FBI director James Scomy was indicted Tuesday for allegedly threatening
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: to kill the president. The DOJ said the message eighty
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: six forty seven written in shells on a beach was
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: a call to assassination. Commy faces up to twenty years
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: if convicted. King Charles addressed Congress Tuesday at pledging UK
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: support for democracy and the United Arab Emirates has left Opek,
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: potentially signaling a dropping global oil prices. The FBI is
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: raiding Minneapolis childcare centers as part of a massive fraud
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: pro and former NBA player Damon Jones entered guilty pleat
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: in the high profile gambling case. Finally, Megan the Stallion
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: is taking her final bow in La Rouge the Musical
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: this Friday. This comes right on the heels of her
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: reported breakup with NBA star Clay Thompson.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: On Sybil Wilkes, be informed, be empowered.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: Thank you so very much, Sybil jazz Man. Hell, that's
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: happiness when the money comes through. And the name of
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Pearl Bailey was that all of ut. It's the deal
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: you call. Show more of the deal you show is
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: coming right up. It's the deal he was show