Latest / Through the Sh#t with Jen McDowell / Erin Briley | When Your Body Becomes the Thing You Can’t Ignore

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Erin Briley | When Your Body Becomes the Thing You Can’t Ignore · Through the Sh#t with Jen McDowell

• speaker-0: Yeah, that's absolutely accurate. And especially in the society that we live in, we're just so used to a quick fix for everything. You know, you go to the doctor when you're sick and you get an antibiotic or you get a medication and you feel better by the end of the day. And that's that's not how it works with functional nutrition. You know, the the comeback is not fast. And a lot of times with these injuries, you know, for example, with my spine, it didn't happen immediately. My entire journey has been over Two decades. So it's not something that happened immediately. The recovery is not going to be immediate either. But if you really want long lasting lifelong results and to feel better for the rest of your life, you've got to take slow, gradual steps that you can be consistent with and maintain. speaker-1: Welcome, I'm Jen McDowell, and you're listening to Through the Shit, a podcast for anyone going through the shit and the people who love them. And every episode we'll hear a new story of loss, hope, and resilience, and how going through the shit led to something greater. So if you're in the shit now and feeling lost or alone, disconnected from your badass self, or in need of an ember of hope to keep putting one foot in front of the other, you're in the right place. So settle in, prepare to be moved and inspired, and welcome. to the shit. Welcome everybody. You're listening to Through the Shit. I'm your host, Jen McDowell, and joining me today is Aaron Briley. Aaron, how are you today? speaker-0: Hi, great. Thank you so much for having me. speaker-1: Yeah, I'm really glad to have you here. So for the listeners, let's tell them a little bit about you. Erin is a certified functional nutrition counselor and founder of Alara Functional Health. After undergoing her first back surgery at just 17 years old, Erin went on to have not one, but two additional back surgeries, including a spinal fusion that ultimately failed. Just two years after her third surgery, a rollover car accident left her with additional herniated discs and a compression fracture. Talk about the hits continually coming. After years of believing her spinal injuries would dictate what she could and couldn't do, Erin began exploring factors beyond the structural damage that could influence her pain and recovery. That journey ultimately changed not only how she approached her health, but the direction of her life. Today, Erin is back to running half marathons like a complete badass and competing in Sprint triathlons. She uses both her lived experience and functional nutrition training to help adults with chronic back pain explore overlooked factors that may be contributing to their pain. In her work with clients, Erin explores lifestyle patterns that may be influencing their pain, such as nutrition, sleep, stress, and movement. Erin's goal is to help people better understand their individual patterns so they can feel more confident navigating their recovery and getting back to the things that they love. Wow, Erin, welcome. speaker-0: Thank you. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to see where the conversation leads to today. speaker-1: Me too. And I think one of the things that ⁓ will probably come up in our conversation is my own health journey, which I haven't really talked with the podcast listeners about because I also had a series of really major surgeries over a decade ago at this point. And so as you were telling me your story, I felt a lot of parallels between sort of this journey of recovery that you went through and some of the lessons that you learned and the importance of self-advocacy. And so I think there's gonna be a lot here that I will relate to in your story and I hope. Listeners relate as well. speaker-0: Yeah, so important to talk about too. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. Because no one is talking about, I mean, that's part of the point of the podcast is like saying the things that are unsaid but need to be said so that people who are in similar situations understand what's facing them. speaker-0: Exactly. speaker-1: Okay. So ⁓ why don't you tell me a little bit, without going too d into too much detail about your story, tell me about what this idea of through the shit, going through the shit means to you. speaker-0: So, you know, I've had three back surgeries, and then two years after that final back surgery, I was in a rollover car accident, hernated more discs in my spine. And each time with each of those recoveries, there was kind of a a different layer of recovery and different challenges. And it was just a matter of being consistent in my recoveries and you know, understanding that, you know, the comeback from a recovery from a surgery like that, it's not glamorous. It's about putting one foot in front of the other each day and those small, consistent steps towards healing that are what's going to get you to your goal. speaker-1: Yeah, and that reminds me, because we had this this lovely thing teed up about your story. It's this decades-long journey with debilitating back pain that taught you about the unglamorous side of recovery, taught you about what our bodies are capable of when they are properly supported and the power of persistence. And so it's all of those things. It's sort of the not quitting, it's the layered recovery, it's the ongoing process of it. You know, each each surgery teaches you something new. And the consistency of putting one foot in front of the other, quite literally in your case as as a runner. So speaker-0: Everyone loves a good comeback story, but you know, you don't see not everyone sees the day to day steps that you have to take to get there that are very slow and very monotonous. And, you know, those those are the things that really does that really do help you recover and get towards your goal. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. I remember that in my own recovery sort of like you go through these phases where you have you feel like you're making progress and then you hit a plateau. And being able to keep going through that plateau leads you eventually to the next sort of uptick in your recovery, but not giving up at that moment where it feels like things are hard or you're not seeing progress the way you want to is really important. speaker-0: Right. Or even worse, a setback in your recovery that puts you back a couple of days after you've been on such a wonderful trajectory, making progress and becoming stronger. And then, you know, especially with a a spinal injury and back surgeries, if you cough wrong or, you know, step wrong, any small thing can set you back a couple of days in your recovery. So being able to continue putting one foot in front of the other and Keep in mind what your goals are and trust in the process and trust in yourself and trust in your body as you move forward to recovery. speaker-1: Yeah, that's so hard. That tr not only just trust and process, but trust in self. ⁓ yeah. So this idea for you of going through the shit is the layered recovery, the consistency, the persistence, the patience, the trust. ⁓ all lessons that are lessons I certainly didn't want to learn. ⁓ but I think I'm better off knowing them now and I s still have to relearn them every now and then. So speaker-0: Right. It's all part of our story to what got us to where we are now is getting through those things and trusting in our bodies and seeing what we are capable of and what we're able to overcome. speaker-1: Yeah, absolutely. Okay. ⁓ are you ready to tell me your shit? speaker-0: Yeah, let's go for it. speaker-1: All right, tell me your shit. speaker-0: All right. So I guess, you know, it started, I was seventeen when I had my first back surgery. I was in high school. I had had two previous really bad falls horseback riding. So I'd always been an athlete in some capacity. And with one of the falls, a friend threw water at my horse. My horse reared up and I kind of slid off the side and landed on the ground in my butt. And it was just really jarring to my spine. But Being a teenager, you know, you you don't think that anything really, anything bad's really gonna happen. So kind of recovered from that, had another really bad fall where I was ⁓ riding in an arena where the sand was very dry and took a really sharp turn and the horse actually lost its footing and she fell on top of me with me underneath her, which I think further damaged my spine. But of course, you know, being a teenager, like I said, you know, you don't You don't really think long term. So I don't think I really ever gave my body the chance to heal from these injuries. And I ended up with my first back surgery at seventeen years old. Wow. speaker-1: Yeah. That's so young. ⁓ and I think this idea of invincibility, I mean, were you still having pain at the time and you just kind of ignored it or speaker-0: Yeah, I was no, I mean, I was I was in pain. I mean, I was in a a neck brace for a little while after I had the fall where the horse fell on top of me. So I was in pain, but you know, you're 17, you don't want to be held back by those things. So I had gone through physical therapy and chiropractic care and massage therapy and steroid injections and different medications from my neurosurgeon to try and help me recover. And I just was in constant pain. It was in fall of my senior year of high school. And I remember just sitting in those hard plastic chairs all day long in school. By the end of the day, I was just in excruciating pain with my lower back. And I had nerve pain going down my leg. And one of my legs was weak by the end of the day. So walking was really challenging. So I mean I I needed the surgery and I think by that point I was ready for it because I was ready to kind of put that behind me and be able to move on from speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, that that's one of the first parallels that I saw in my own story with my own journey with hip surgery is that I had pain. For me, it manifested as back pain, but I had back pain for 10 years before I got the diagnosis that it was actually my hips that were the problem. And it got to the point like you where the pain was so bad I couldn't ignore it anymore. and and I r still remember being surprised when I got the diagnosis of what was wrong. Even though looking back on it now from, you know, the perspective that I have that I had all of the warning signs very early on. And I think like you, you had some of the warning signs and eventually the pain just got so bad you couldn't you couldn't tolerate it anymore. speaker-0: Yeah, exactly. You know, it's it's hard, especially when we're when we're younger, it's so hard to know to listen to your body. And, you know, these symptoms that our body gives us, like pain, are are something that we need to pay attention to. You know, that's a sign from our body that there's an area of our body that needs a little bit more attention to recover. And, you know, being that I was seventeen when all of this happened, I wasn't paying attention to those symptoms. I just I wanted to be a kid, you know, I wanted to continue doing the things that I loved. speaker-1: Yeah. And and I know I thought I was invincible at that age and I was a badass and I could do anything. And, you know, we're we live in a society that's very much a like power through it, power through your pain. ⁓ and I and I think about that, you know, that coulda, shoulda, woulda. What if I had listened to my pain when I was twenty five and taken it more seriously? Maybe I I probably still would have had the same surgery, but I maybe would have had it earlier and saved myself a lot of a lot of years of heartache and pain. So speaker-0: But you know, our our surgeries and you know, they're part of our journey. I feel like everyone has their thing in life that they deal with, whether it's, you know, structural issues or chronic health conditions, you know, autoimmune diseases. There's so many things that people deal with and struggle with that we don't even see. And, you know, for me, my back has always just been my thing that I have dealt with. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's something that you and I talked about in the the pre-call that we had that I want to touch touch back on is this idea of sort of letting go of this facade and accepting the reality. And sort of for me, you know, this cr it was this critical mass of okay, I can't like wear this mask of fake anymore. ⁓ but I think that comes up a lot of times in your story. So before we dive into that, tell me tell me a little bit more. So You had the surgery at seventeen. ⁓ you went through the rehab, ⁓ and and then yet you had two more. So what happened? speaker-0: Right. So I had the surgery at 17, went through the rehab, recovered. I was able to return to high school probably about a month after the surgery and had a great rest of my high school career. Graduated high school, went to college, I got back into running. I was lifeguarding swimming. I started doing triathlons for the first time. And I really wasn't having any back pain. To me, my back. Journey was kind of behind me and had gotten back into being active again. And then eventually I started having some of that same back pain return. And it was actually after one of my triathlons, I was just sitting and moved my leg in a certain way. And the pain was ⁓ unbelievable. I mean, for anyone that's ever herniated a disc before, that acute injury when it initially happens is not even something you can really put into words how excruciatingly painful it is. And I mean I knew instantly that I knew I was gonna need to go back to the doctor again and get more imaging and go down this road again. speaker-1: Yeah. And now up to that point, I I I think that's something that I know I can relate to in terms of like just one wrong move and your heart sinks 'cause you're like, ⁓ something is wrong. But up to that point, had you had any indication that something was wrong? speaker-0: You know, up to that point, I think it was probably a gradual process. I you know, I was in my early twenties to mid twenties and I was running frequently and doing spinning classes and swimming, but I wasn't really prioritizing strength training like I should have been doing. I didn't know any better. And I, you know, after my first back surgery, I completed my however many months, six, eight months of physical therapy. And then I put that behind me. I closed that chapter. I thought I had moved on. Whereas what I should have been doing was I should have been doing my physical therapy moves every day, ⁓ for the rest of my life. And I should have been prioritizing strength training so that my body could help to support my spine. Because you know, after you've had back surgery, that area of your spine's never gonna quite be the same again. And I wasn't doing the physical therapy and I wasn't doing the strength training. So I think looking back on it, I it was probably gradual, but you know, there was that one moment where I just moved my leg wrong where it did the final piece of damage. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. And and I can certainly appreciate that, you know, n having gone through my hip surgeries, it's like every day now it's are my glutes firing? Are my glutes overcome are my hamstrings overcompensating? Like it's all day, every day, all the time. And it's something that's always in the back of your mind. And, you know, that risk now hangs over your head. Like one wrong one wrong move, one fall, one thing could really fuck me up again. ⁓ and I think Part of your story is that's so compelling is this idea of not letting that fear hold you back from doing the things that you want to do. speaker-0: Right. Yeah. And you know, after that second back surgery that I had, that was where I had the spinal fusion in the same level. And I I had just gotten engaged to my now husband. And after that second back surgery, I was much more intentional about my physical therapy. I did not want to ever go through another back surgery after that second one. And so prioritized the strength training. I did everything right. I was in a hard plastic brace for three months after the surgery. I was a teacher at the time, so I was on my feet all day in the Florida heat 'cause the surgery was in July. Went back to teaching in August, ⁓ wearing this hard plastic brace. And, you know, you had mentioned kind of masking the pain. I was masking the pain all day 'cause I was an elementary school teacher. So, you know, you've got to be smiling and on all day long, just masking that pain. And it was it was really challenging. speaker-1: Yeah, I'm curious because you talked about your you're now husband, you were engaged at the time. ⁓ so how did that affect your relationship? Because caregiving can be really hard. And so was he involved in your care and your caregiver team as well? speaker-0: So luckily I chose really well. And ⁓ he actually is in the medical field. So at the time when we were dating and engaged and first married, he was a paramedic. Okay. So he was no stranger to caretaking. Of course, now he was having to do a little bit longer caretaking with me, but I, you know, I was pretty hard headed with each of my recoveries anyway. So I knew that I had a goal in mind of recovering, becoming pain-free. getting back to being active. So, you know, I had him there for the day-to-day support, but in my own head, I was I was not going to give up until I felt like I had recovered and I felt like I could be active again. speaker-1: Okay. Yeah, that's that's quite remarkable. I mean, my my sense is that you are pretty headstrong, pretty independent. ⁓ and and I know for me when I was going through my h hip surgeries, ⁓ accepting help was really, really hard. But it got to the point where, you know, the first surgery was on my right leg and I was non weight bearing for the better part of twelve weeks and I couldn't drive myself. And so I needed help with everything. And so What was that experience like for you accepting help? speaker-0: Yeah, that was really challenging. I was I've always been very independent person and you know, don't like like you said, don't like to accept help. So it was challenging to know that I needed help because at first I couldn't stand up out of the bed on my own. I had to have someone to hold my hands and to help me stand. And then in the hospital after surgery, I had to have my husband or a nurse, ⁓ my my fiance at the time now husband, or a nurse. walking alongside me so I could hold on to their arms. Yep. Exactly. With the that ⁓ the tower with all of the wires and everything attached to you. You know, walking down the hallway with the, you know, the gown and all that. ⁓ so it was it was challenging to have to rely on someone else. But I think having that support and the connections and the relationship to help motivate me and help me with simple things like speaker-1: The gate bell. speaker-0: Hey, I'm in a lot of pain. Can you go get my water out of the kitchen for me, please? It's it makes a world of difference to have that support. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, it it really does. And I think that's a theme that I see in a lot of the podcast guests is having a network or community of people who can support you through this process in whatever way support is meaningful for you ⁓ is so important because I my perspective is that part of the reason why we're here on earth is to connect with other people and so to be able to have that connection and support is super important. Yeah. I I think the other thing and and I don't know speaker-0: Yeah, absolutely. speaker-1: Like the the durable medical equipment that I had. I mean, I don't know if you had that collection of stuff like the toilet seat and the the thing to put on my socks and like, did you have all of that stuff as well? 'Cause like you had to I had restrictions, I couldn't bend over, I had to sleep on my back and I couldn't, you know. Yeah. So getting dressed even was a challenge. speaker-0: You know, I was not able to bend, lift, or twist. I think it was like six months after the spinal fusion. You can't bend, lift, or twist. But I didn't have these additional tools. I know I had like a grabber to pick things up off of the ground, which I still have and my kids like to play with now. But I didn't I didn't have all of those additional tools. So I mean it I kind of had to figure out how to navigate. the the pain and daily life with kind of the new normal on my new back. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. And and you were not married at the time you were engaged at at the time of the second surgery, right? speaker-0: With my second surgery, yeah, we were we had gotten engaged I think about a two months before I had that second surgery. speaker-1: Okay. And were you planning the wedding at that point as well while you're trying to recover? speaker-0: We were planning the wedding and I was in grad school and I was teaching full time. Wow. A lot going on. Yeah, just a little bit. speaker-1: Okay. So slightly Okay. All right. So tell me more. So that was surgery two. You got through that process. You now have to focus on ongoing PT to s to maintain your strength. And yet here you are. You have a third surgery. speaker-0: Yeah, so I was really diligent about doing all of the right things. I wanted to recover. I never wanted to have a third surgery. And so I was in my hard plastic brace for three months. I was doing my physical therapy. I was walking. I got up to walking three and a half miles a day. I think it was about three weeks after the surgery. I was walking about three and a half miles a day and doing everything right. And about nine months out from that spinal fusion, I was teaching and I started it started just gradually at first with lower back pain. And you know, when you've had such an extensive surgery like spinal fusion, any little pain kind of throws you into a spiral because you're thinking, ⁓ my goodness, w did I, is this just a matter of muscle soreness? Did I just overdo it one day? Or did I mess up the surgery? Well, then I started getting these shocks, like it felt like I was being electrocuted from the inside out. And come to find out that the screws that were drilled into my vertebrae had actually loosened. And that electrocuted feeling was actually a nerve passing over the screw with certain movements. So that was about nine months after the spinal fusion, went back to the same surgeon and imaging showed a halo around the screws, which indicates that the screws had loosened. So I was told that I was going to need a third back surgery. speaker-1: Yeah. My goodness. So at this point, I I would have been thinking like, I can't fucking do this again, not one more thing. And I and I know in my own parade of horribles, I said that to my therapist a million times. Like, I can't take one more thing. So how do you sort of like gird yourself to go through this again? Because the alternative feels like I can't stay in pain and have this feeling of electrocution every time I move, but yet I don't want to do this again. speaker-0: It was kind of a double edged sword because at this point when I found this out, it was maybe a month or two before my wedding. So I needed to make it through the wedding first. I mean, that was first and foremost. I needed to make it through the wedding pain or no pain. And I was also it was also during the school year, so I knew I could not have the surgery during the school year. I knew I was gonna have to wait until the summer. And I was in so much pain and those feelings like I was being electrocuted from the inside out were just they were so intense and while teaching and you you've got to keep a smile on your face all day. So I was ready to get the rods and screws out of my spine at that point. I mean I did not want another surgery because, you know, the last, the second surgery had just been such a brutal recovery. But I was ready just to get them out. And again, I thought, you know, put this entire spinal journey behind me and move on. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it one of the things that I remember being really angry about was like feeling like I had my back in a corner and I was just sort of flailing, fighting to get out. And the choices were two terrible choices. Right. Stay where I'm at, stay with this excruciating pain, or do this thing that I don't want to do. and so I'm hearing you say this, right. And also I don't wanna have to wait. through a wedding. I don't want to have to wait through the school year, but that's what I've got to do and I've got to grin and bear it because I don't feel like I have another choice. speaker-0: Right. And you know, that's that's what we that's what I did is I waited through the school year. You know, I I went through with my wedding and my honeymoon and finished up the school year and then had that third back surgery in the summer because ultimately I knew we wanted to start a family. So I as frustrating as it was to have to go through this third back surgery, I thought this would be it. This would be the end of everything with my back so that we can officially close this chapter, finally close this chapter. And then move on to the next chapter of life and start a family. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's so common, right? Like I just want this in the rearview mirror. I want to start this next chapter of my life. ⁓ and you did, and yet you learned that it wasn't the end of the story a couple more times. speaker-0: A couple more times, yeah. A couple more time Right, exactly. So we had that third back surgery and the third surgery where they removed the rods and screws was actually a pretty textbook recovery. I was ⁓ you know, it was in July again and I returned to teaching, I think about three or four weeks later, setting up my classroom, getting ready for the school year. And speaker-1: Right. speaker-0: felt really great. I was excited to have the rods and screws out of me. I felt like it helped with my range of motion having the rods and screws out. And we were able to get pregnant and start a family. But the scary part with pregnancy is that, you know, this was back in 2012, 2013, and there were not resources available. You know, there weren't Facebook groups back then like there are now where you can go in and read about other people's stories or ask a question about people that have had multiple back surgeries and spinal fusion and have gone through pregnancy successful. So again, it was just kind of a matter of trusting the process and trusting my body because I there wasn't really a roadmap for me. Mm-hmm. speaker-1: Yeah. And even through those pregnancies, you ran into issues. I remember you telling me, was it your second child or your third? It was the third where you had sort of an unanticipated impact that sort of became known at the worst possible moment. speaker-0: Right. So with my first two pregnancies and labors, I absolutely did not want to have an epidural at all. I you know, an epidural is placed in your lower back and that's where I'd had my previous back surgeries. I didn't want anyone anywhere near that area of my spine. And plus, you know, I'd spent so many years dealing with pain. I I was confident that I would be able to do labor and delivery without an epidural, and I did with my first pregnancy and my second pregnancy. But with the third one He was, know, my largest and he kind of kept getting stuck in labor. And they talked about the need for an epidural. And the concern was we didn't know if an epidural would even work because of the surgeries and because of the scar tissue in that area of my back. So the concern was if I did need an epidural for an emergency C section, would it work? And if not, then I would need to go under general anesthesia in order to have a C section that way. And we ended up after I think about twenty four hours in labor placing an epidural and it only worked on one side of my body, which was I think more painful than anything to feel that I could have had no pain versus the pain I was actually experiencing on the other side. But ⁓ luckily I was able to continue delivery and did not need to go through a C section because I would have had to go under general anesthesia in order to Get him out. So ⁓ but it was, you know, it was crazy to see the long lasting effects that the surgery had had. The scar tissue had built up and so the epidural just plain didn't work on one side. speaker-1: Yeah, and and what a scary moment, right? What an awful time to learn that that i is a side effect of the surgery is that, ⁓ it works while you're already under stress, while you're in in the active process of giving birth to a child and and not feeling great again about the alternatives. It's like, Okay, I'm gonna grin and bear this and try and, you know, go through with the delivery the natural way, or the alternative is general anesthesia, which is speaker-0: An apple time. speaker-1: an another trauma, another surgery, another thing that, you know, can really be scary. And so one of the things that I learned through my own experience is this idea of medical trauma. I mean, it is traumatic to go under anesthesia, to have people doing things with your body when you are not in a position to consent or to have control over the situation. ⁓ and there are a whole host of other side effects. Like I had to go through pelvic floor, physical therapy. speaker-0: Right. speaker-1: ⁓ that is a known thing after having this major hip surgery because like your insides are all jacked up. And so what have you done, I think, to kind of work through that trauma of going through all of these experiences over the course of your life? speaker-0: You know, I don't think I really had an opportunity to truly like think about any of them beforehand. Like they're just something that needed to be done. And I guess, you know, I I realize when I went through that third labor and delivery with my third child, I realized how scared I was of anyone ever going near my lower back again that I I didn't realize that I held that fear, but I didn't want anyone touching my back. I mean, ultimately they had to try and play set up a dural and it didn't work, but I didn't want anyone touching my lower back at all. speaker-1: Yeah. And and I mean, I'm still that way. Like w when I get a massage, I have to sort of like give all this instruction to the massage therapist because I don't want people touching my hips, even people I trust. ⁓ and so I I think for me it's sort of has created this warped sense of touch that is so important for human connec connection and your spouse and your kids and what happens if they hug you around the waist. Do they touch the scar? Does that, you know cause some sort of physical reaction for you? speaker-0: Right. I feel like I always kind of brace with certain movements. I'm I'm always worried about my back, especially, you know, when I'm working out and I don't even necessarily realize that I'm doing it. ⁓ but I it's just it's come so natural that I I just kind of tighten core and I just brace with certain movements, stepping down off of a curb because I just I don't want one wrong step to send me back into the pain that I had before, which is again why I'm just so diligent with my daily physical therapy. And strength training now because I just want to remain strong to help support my spine. speaker-1: Yeah. I mean, one of the things that was really eye-opening for me in my own trauma healing journey was that that hypervigilance is fucking exhausting. So exhausting to have to be on all of the time. ⁓ and I think Yeah. And so how do you how do you manage that? speaker-0: It really is. It is That really is. You know, I still have after my third back surgery, I was in a rollover car accident and herniated more discs in all levels of my spine, my my neck, my thoracic spine, my lumbar spine. And so I am just ⁓ constantly hyper-vigilant about my spine without even necessarily realizing that I'm being that way. I'm constantly bracing, constantly planning the way that I'm going to sit or You know, if we're traveling, bringing something to roll up behind my lower back to support my lower back. ⁓ just I'm just constantly aware of my spine and helping to support my spine so that I don't throw myself back into being in pain. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, you've been through quite this journey. ⁓ three surgeries, this accident, you know, it's this constant crawling out of the hole, climbing up the mountain, getting back to a steady state. How are you now? speaker-0: So I'm you know, I still have many hernetid discs throughout my spine now, but you know, one of the things I realize after each pregnancy, I with each of my kids I was nursing and I was told that each child had what was called a milk protein allergy, which is not a true allergy, but it's just basically the the baby can't process the protein from dairy and they're nursing, so it's it's my diet that the dairy has to be eliminated from. So with each of the pregnancies, I was told by the pediatrician I had to eliminate the dairy if I was going to continue nursing. And each time I did it, my pain dramatically reduced. And when I brought it up, I was just told, ⁓ that's the breastfeeding hormones. Enjoy them while they last. And then when I would reintroduce the dairy, all of the pain would come flooding flooding back. And again, I was told, ⁓ you know, the breastfeeding hormones are gone. Hope you enjoyed them. And it wasn't until my third child That, you know, I f I had to cut out the dairy with him and felt dramatically better for a full year. ⁓ previously I was never able to work out two days in a row because I'd be in my lower back would just be in too much pain. Right. And after cutting out the dairy while I was nursing him, I felt great for that full year. Reintroduced the dairy and I was so excited just to have pizza again. and had a little personal pan pizza at a pizza place that I just opened by our house. And the next morning I woke up and I couldn't even turn my head side to side. I was in so much pain. And the scariest part was I looked in the mirror when I was getting dressed and my whole spine, from the base of my neck all the way down, was bruised. No trauma, nothing had hit my spine. There was no explanation for it. And it was actually my husband that said What if it's what you ate? What if it's the pizza? And I was like, There there's no way. That's that's not a thing. Food doesn't affect how we feel. And almost just to kind of prove him wrong, I was like, Okay, I'll cut out the dairy just to show you that you're wrong. And I cut out the dairy and the pain went away again. It was about six months of this of cutting out the dairy and pain gradually reducing and then reintroducing it just to prove that that's not what it was and it coming right back. Until I finally realized, okay, this is something that is triggering for my body. And this is something that my body's reacting to. So, you know, I I made some changes in my diet and I don't have pain like I used to have anymore, despite all the hernita discs I have on my back. speaker-1: Yeah, so I mean, what did your doctor say? 'Cause I mean, that's that's common, right? Sometimes ⁓ you know, I'm thinking of another podcast guest who was sort of had symptoms dismissed by a doctor a couple of times and yet you saw the impact of cutting dairy out of your diet, which would fucking kill me because I love cheese. ⁓ speaker-0: Well, you know, it's funny, when I got the phone call that I needed to cut out the dairy from the pediatrician the very first time, I was sitting in the closet at work pumping, eating my lunch, and the she tells me I need to cut out dairy and I looked down at my lunch and there's my turkey and cheese sandwich, my string cheese and my Greek yogurt. And I was like, Can it be after this meal? speaker-1: Yeah. And so what type of support were you getting from your doctor as you're sort of doing this experiment and saying, like, hey, I'm actually noticing that there might be a correlation here? speaker-0: You know, I I feel like my doctor at the time just kind of didn't really support that and was just like, you know, maybe it's some other factors. Maybe you have, you know, re-herniate a disc. Let's let's do some more imaging or go to physical therapy. It was just kind of the standard answers. And so I felt like I really needed to explore on my own these additional factors that were affecting my back pain. And so that's what I did. I I started exploring these these factors that I have found that have directly affected my back pain. speaker-1: Yeah. So was there a point at which you said, like, I'm hell with whatever the doctors are saying, I'm gonna do this? I mean, do you remember that moment? speaker-0: I think it was kind of gradual of of realizing that there were these nutritional triggers that were affecting me. And yeah, I kind of thought i the doctor doesn't isn't willing to support me in this, but I know that I feel better when I'm not eating this way. And then kind of come to find out a couple of years later that I actually had an egg allergy and I was eating hard-boiled eggs every morning for breakfast. And Cutting that out from my diet also helped to gradually reduce my pain as well and just kind of lower my inflammation, which has influenced the level of pain that I feel. So all of these additional lifestyle habits that I was participating in, like eating foods that I was allergic to, unknowingly, eating foods that I was allergic to were all influencing my pain. speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I mean it goes back to this idea of trusting yourself, right? And and going through the process of the experimentation and learning. And so what other types of things ha have you sort of learned are potential triggers for yourself or your clients now? So dairy, eggs, what else? speaker-0: For me personally, yes. The dairy is a trigger and eggs are a true allergy that are a trigger for me. And like you said, it's trusting your body, but it's listening to your body. And you know, pain is a sign from your body that something's not quite right. And a lot of times we're very quick to jump to masking the pain with some kind of medicine. But medicine that we take to mask the pain Is going to have downstream effects, long-term effects that you you might not see in that moment. But pain is also kind of our guardrails that let us know where our boundaries are. So we're not pushing through the pain. So, you know, for myself, it was a lot of nutritional changes and working with clients, everyone's different. You know, what's anti-inflammatory for me is not necessarily anti-inflammatory for you unless you have the same sensitivities and allergies that I do. ⁓ stress is another big one because we know when we're stressed our muscles are tensed and we just we feel pain more intensely when we're under periods of extreme stress. Mm-hmm. speaker-1: And stress can exacerbate things, right? You know, we might have a piece of cheese and on a good day where we've slept well, like it's not as irritating or inflammatory as a day when we're really stressed, right? It's all very much interrelated. And that's one of the things that I also came to learn as well, is like it's the compounded effect of things over time, which makes it a bit like a game of whack a mole as well, which is really frustrating. speaker-0: It does. And you know, our for me, it's my back, but our our back or for you, your hip does not exist independently of the whole person. So, you know, when you're trying to address back pain or hip pain, you've got to take a look at the whole person and not just treat the individual symptoms. Mm-hmm. speaker-1: Yeah. So tell me a little bit more about you know so you went on this journey yourself and you started to learn about food being a potential inflammatory trigger that makes your back pain worse. How did you get from there in that sort of first light bulb moment to where you are now? speaker-0: So it was just a really gradual process. I kind of accidentally fell into this. I didn't even know there was such a thing as functional nutrition. And after I had been dairy free for a couple of years and then learned that I had an egg allergy and reduced the egg or eliminated the eggs from my diet, I was just kind of Googling, you know, what is this called where you can use food to help support your body and landed on functional nutrition, having never heard of it before. And learned a little bit more about functional nutrition and went back to school and became certified as a functional nutrition coach. So that, you know, initially it was just to learn more about factors that were influencing me and my pain. And then I started seeing the ways that it was helping other people. So now I actually work with clients addressing factors in their life that are influencing their pain. speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, one of the things that I think must be a challenge when you are first starting to work with a patient is setting expectations. And maybe you can dispel this assumption if it's not correct, but I think people come might come to you thinking, like, ⁓ my gosh, I need you to fix this thing for me because I am miserable. And there is a lot of trial and error. You said, you know, everybody's triggers are different. And so how do you one? Is my assumption about that challenge accurate? And if two, if so, how do you work with them on expectation setting? speaker-0: Yeah, that's absolutely accurate. And especially in the society that we live in, we're just so used to a quick fix for everything. You know, you go to the doctor when you're sick and you get an antibiotic or you get a medication and you feel better by the end of the day. And that's that's not how it works with functional nutrition. You know, the the comeback is not fast. And a lot of times with these injuries, you know, for example, with my spine, it didn't happen immediately. My entire journey has been over Two decades. So it's not something that happened immediately. The recovery is not going to be immediate either. But if you really want long lasting lifelong results and to feel better for the rest of your life, you've got to take slow, gradual steps that you can be consistent with and maintain. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. And it's not again, as as you've kind of learned time and again through your own experience, it's not like a one and done thing where you can just sort of wipe your hands of it and be done. It's that consistent maintenance, whether it's ⁓ you know, back, core strength, hip strength, glute strength, consistency with your diet that collectively makes the difference. speaker-0: Yeah, absolutely. There's so many factors that can influ influence pain. As you know, with your hip surgeries, it's not just one thing. And yeah, it's you it's not just for a set amount of time either. You know, for me, it's I do daily physical therapy. I do almost an hour of physical therapy every morning. I've just physical therapy exercises that I've kind of collected over the years from having done so much physical therapy and kind of put in my back pocket. I'm a folder. ⁓ yeah, exactly. I'm I'm sure anyone that's been through these major surgeries, they do. And it's so important to keep up with that physical therapy and the strength training and to listen to your body when it's giving you signs like pain and to be able to address it. And even things like, you know, bloating and indigestion, those are signs from your body that something's not quite right and something needs to be addressed. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm curious, as you look back on things now, was is there anything that you would do differently? speaker-0: You know, that's a hard question because I feel like everything that I've been through, as much as I would have loved to have not had a surgery at 17 years old or, you know, my mid-20s or right after getting married, as much as I would have loved to not have those done, I feel like those surgeries and this journey has all led me to where I am today. And it's led me to prioritize strength training. It's led me to listen to my body and listen to the signs and symptoms that I have rather than mask them and throw medicine at every sign or symptom that I get, but to get to the bottom of why my body is reacting certain ways. So would I change things? I mean ultimately I'm I'm happy with where it's led me and the trajectory in which these back surgeries and the car accident has really changed my life and and led me down a different career path. So I'm happy with that. But you know, the actual surgery part, not so much fun. But I'm I'm happy with where it's led me. speaker-1: Yeah, I mean same. Like if I could have gained all of the wisdom I now have without all of the parade of horribles and stuff happening, like that would have been amazing. But that's not how life works, at least not in my right my experience. So ⁓ speaker-0: Right. And like I said before, like we all have our thing that we go through. You know, so many people have these silent are silently suffering through whether it's mental health or, you know, their emotional health or physical health. So many people have their thing that they're dealing with. For me, my thing has been my back. Yeah. And that's just been a part of my journey and a part of my story that's led me to where I am now. speaker-1: Yeah, and and I think that's a really beautiful model for acceptance and integration, right? It's like you've been through these things. You see how it has shaped you in ways both good and bad, maybe. and it's not something that you are allowing to hold you back now because you're back to running again and doing sprint marathon or sprint tries, right? and so when you change your relationship to the thing, whatever the thing is, that allows you to propel yourself. forward in really meaningful ways. speaker-0: Yeah, exactly. And you know, there's there's I've been told that I will need a fourth back surgery because my spinal fusion never did fully fuse and I I do still have herniated discs. I'm, you know, trying to avoid that for as long as I can. And, you know, my my surgeon knows that I run. And in his words, you don't I can't give you my blessing, but he's like, you know, what you're doing isn't causing further damage right now. So as long as you're listening to your body. I understand. I can't say I support you, but I understand what you're doing and it's okay. ⁓ so you know, if when when that happens and I have to have that fourth surgery, I know that if I consistently put one foot in front of the other each day and work towards my goal of becoming active again, I know I'll get there. It's not gonna be a fast process. I've gone through it many times before, but I know I'll get there. speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ and I'm much in the same boat. I ⁓ mine was a prolong the need for a hip replacement type of thing. And so eventually I'm going to need to. And for a while I did run as well. But even with all the strength training and the physical therapy, like I was just it was just hurting too much. And so I had to walk away from the running, which I still hate. ⁓ but I also am glad that I don't have to have a surgery tomorrow. but it is on the horizon and it's something that's always kind of in the back of my mind. So ⁓ speaker-0: And it's so important just to listen to your body. And there might come a day where I can't run anymore either. And I understand that. And so every race that I do, I'm so incredibly grateful that my body lets me do it. So it just allows me to be present in every race and you know, every training run that I get to do. And I'm just very grateful for it because it's a possibility. But it's so important, like you said, just to listen to your body. And if your body's not gonna let you do it because you're having a lot of pain, then you don't do it. speaker-1: Right. Yeah. So before I drop the last question on you, anything that feels unsaid at this point. speaker-0: I think just what we've talked about, you know, r recovery from something as serious as a spinal fusion is not glamorous. Everyone loves a good comeback story, but it's the day to day of putting one foot in front of the other and making those consistent steps towards recovery and setting a goal every single day and taking the small steps that help you get to that goal every single day. That's where recovery lies. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. And I've kind of been jotting things down and there seem to have been some themes here, right? This importance of strength, both inner strength and physical strength, listening to your body, getting to the root of the issue, the persistence, the acceptance, the integration. ⁓ you know, for someone who's in the shit now, what would you tell them? speaker-0: You know, for someone that's going through any kind of really challenging thing, I think it's really important to remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you need to trust trust your body and trust the process and set a goal for every day and then think about what steps you need to take. every single day to reach your goal by the end of the day. And when you reach your goal by the end of the day, set a new goal for the next day. Mm-hmm. And there might be a couple of days where your goal is the same. The goal might just be walking to the end of the driveway to check the mail because you're in too much pain. But you set a goal every day and you take those small, consistent steps to reach your goal. speaker-1: Yeah. And I think what you're also maybe implicitly saying that I want to draw out is this idea of being realistic with the goal. Sometimes the goal isn't I'm gonna go run a marathon today. It's I'm gonna get from the the couch to the kitchen. Yeah. And making sure that you are setting goals that are attainable for where you are at. speaker-0: ⁓ exactly. Exactly. I love a good list. I love being able to check off my list. And, you know, if if I'm setting these giant goals, I'm not gonna be able to check that off of my list. So I like to have very small, attainable goals that I can make it through. And then when I hit that goal, then I set the next one. speaker-1: Right. Yeah. And it starts with a step. Regardless of how big or small the goal is, it always starts with a step. Okay. All right. Well, Erin, thank you for being here. I have enjoyed chatting with you today and walking down the memory lane of my own hip surgery rehab. Listeners, thanks as always for listening and we'll see you on the flip side. speaker-0: Yes. speaker-1: That's it for this episode of Through the Shit. Thanks for listening. If you liked this podcast, like, share, and subscribe, and maybe send it to someone who needs a boost because they're going through the shit. While you're at it, tell them how important they are to you. If you have a story of shit to share or you're in the shit now, I'd love to hear from you. Email me at through the shitpodcast at gmail.com or go to our website at through the shit.com. I'll see you on the flip side.