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The 118 Days That Changed My Life · The Seed Project

• 0:03
  Hey, friend.
• 0:03
  Welcome back to The Seed Project.
• 0:05
  September is NICU Awareness Month, and for this episode, I wanted to bring back a story that is deeply personal to me.
• 0:14
  If you're new here, you may know me as a coach, a podcast host, or a nurse, but you may not know the story of how I became a nurse.
• 0:23
  Almost 20 years ago, I walked into a hospital 25 weeks pregnant.
• 0:27
  Within hours, my son was born weighing one pound, 11 ounces, and both of our lives had changed.
• 0:36
  What happened next didn't just change my career, it changed the way I see people, hardship, faith, and the impact one person can have on another.
• 0:45
  And looking back now, I can see something I couldn't see while I was living it.
• 0:51
  The big event changed the path of my life, but it was the small things along the way that helped create the life that came after it.
• 1:00
  A nurse who took the time to reassure a terrified mother, a hand wrapped around my finger, 110 steps down a hospital hallway, one person who saw something in me and suggested I go to nursing school.
• 1:16
  Small things, and if you've been listening to The Seed Project, you know how I feel about those.
• 1:22
  I originally recorded this episode a few years ago, and rather than retell it from where I stand today, I want you to hear it as I told it then.
• 1:32
  This is my NICU journey.
• 1:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: February 17th, 2007.
• 1:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: It's a day that changed the complete trajectory of my life.
• 1:43
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I remember the day.
• 1:45
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Crystal clear.
• 1:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: It was a Saturday.
• 1:48
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Sunny, bright blue skies coolness in the air.
• 1:52
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I had just gone shopping.
• 1:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: To buy my first maternity clothes.
• 1:58
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I was all excited and nervous to be a new mom.
• 2:01
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And thrilled at the thought of my growing stomach and be able to finally.
• 2:07
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Fit into maternity clothes.
• 2:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: My husband and I were going out to dinner.
• 2:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: With my parents for my mother's birthday.
• 2:17
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And my will you're at dinner.
• 2:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I had this intense, sharp pain.
• 2:23
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And my stomach.
• 2:25
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: At first, I just thought it was heartburn all my friends were telling me they ate.
• 2:30
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Tom is like candy.
• 2:31
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Because their heartburn was so bad when they were pregnant.
• 2:35
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: The pain didn't subside.
• 2:37
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And I was at tears at the table.
• 2:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: My husband and I decided to leave.
• 2:43
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: On the way home, we called my OB, who suggested I take some Mylanta.
• 2:50
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I got home, got some Mylanta and ended up throwing.
• 2:53
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: It all up.
• 2:55
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And it is such a blessing that this happened.
• 2:58
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Around 7:00 PM.
• 3:01
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I feel that God was watching over me because if it had been around 10 or 11 o'clock that night.
• 3:07
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I would have easily said, I'll just sleep it off and see how I feel in the morning.
• 3:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And I would have never made it through the night.
• 3:17
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: My husband rushed me to the emergency room.
• 3:21
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And I remember the nurse taking files of blood for my lab work.
• 3:27
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Hooking me up to a fetal monitor.
• 3:30
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: The doctor came in and I could see the concern all over his face.
• 3:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I knew this wasn't a case of bad heartburn.
• 3:37
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: He quickly informed my husband and I, that I needed to have.
• 3:42
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: A stat C-section to save my life and the babies.
• 3:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Both of us were somewhat bewildered and in shock and didn't even really know what to say.
• 3:52
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I quickly took off my jewelry and remember.
• 3:56
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Saying goodbye to my husband and getting wheel back to the O R.
• 4:00
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: We didn't even have time to process what was going on.
• 4:04
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: The next thing I remember.
• 4:06
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Is waking up in recovery.
• 4:09
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: After having my C-section.
• 4:11
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And my husband by my side.
• 4:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: He told me that we had a son and that he weighed.
• 4:16
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: One pound 11 ounces.
• 4:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: He was stable, but they were going to have to transport him to our children's hospital, where there was a NICU.
• 4:24
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: At that time, I didn't even really know what a NICU was.
• 4:28
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: They were going to wheel him by.
• 4:30
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: in the transport isolet before they left.
• 4:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: And I remember them bringing in, the isolet and trying to sit up and telling my husband that I couldn't see my vision was all blurry.
• 4:45
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: I remember lifting up my arm and it was covered in blood.
• 4:48
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: I was oozing out blood from my incision.
• 4:51
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: Then everything started.
• 4:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: Going off all the alarm started going haywire.
• 4:56
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: Everything was beeping.
• 4:58
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: They quickly wheeled my son out of the room.
• 5:02
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: And transferred him down to MUFC.
• 5:05
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: I remember the nurses trying to get my blood pressure and hearing the doctor say, Take it again, take it again because they were not getting a good read of my blood pressure.
• 5:14
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: I was bleeding out in the last thing I remember.
• 5:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone-9: Was it laying five pound sandbags across me to stop the bleeding before i was rushed back to the or
• 5:24
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I had been in a medically induced coma.
• 5:27
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: For two days.
• 5:30
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I'd woken up on my 30th birthday.
• 5:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I had HELLP syndrome.
• 5:36
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Help is an acronym for homolysis elevated liver enzymes and low platelet count.
• 5:43
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Essentially.
• 5:45
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Your body starts to shut down.
• 5:47
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And the only way to save your life is to deliver the baby.
• 5:51
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I just remember feeling.
• 5:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Claustrophobic from my arms being tied down.
• 5:57
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: The tube in my throat.
• 5:59
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And I had no idea what was going on.
• 6:03
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Over the next couple of days.
• 6:05
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: I was able to recover.
• 6:07
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: And get the ventilator tube.
• 6:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone-6: Removed.
• 6:11
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I remember.
• 6:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone: My husband showing me a Polaroid.
• 6:15
  Samson Q2U Microphone: This is pre iPhone days.
• 6:17
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I'm showing me a Polaroid.
• 6:19
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Picture.
• 6:21
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Of my baby.
• 6:22
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Before he got transported.
• 6:24
  Samson Q2U Microphone: To MUFC.
• 6:25
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I remember him telling me There is a wonderful nurse named Kinsey.
• 6:30
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Taking care of my baby and that I could call her anytime.
• 6:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Hmm.
• 6:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone: The kid choked up as I even say this.
• 6:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Even after all this time.
• 6:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone: But I remember calling Kinsey.
• 6:44
  Samson Q2U Microphone: From my hospital bed.
• 6:48
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And talking to her.
• 6:52
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And she was so kind.
• 6:58
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And relieve my stress and anxiety and told me that she would take great care of him until.
• 7:05
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I could get there to see him.
• 7:11
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Wow.
• 7:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Oh, gosh, I'm a 17 years later and it still comes up.
• 7:17
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I just remember her kindness in, I was so blessed to have someone.
• 7:24
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Take the time to talk to me, give me updates and be genuinely concerned.
• 7:29
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Of how I was doing and I felt reassured.
• 7:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone: That my baby was in good hands.
• 7:37
  Samson Q2U Microphone: It had been several days and he didn't even have a name yet.
• 7:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Because my husband and I had talked about a name, but.
• 7:45
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We thought we had time.
• 7:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We hadn't agreed upon one.
• 7:49
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And so finally, as I came to.
• 7:53
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We picked a name.
• 7:55
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And we named him.
• 7:57
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Adam Lagree Edwards.
• 8:00
  Samson Q2U Microphone: After my husband who was so heroic, going back and forth between two different hospitals, two different ICU.
• 8:08
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Truly not knowing if either one of us were going to survive.
• 8:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-10: And then Lagree after my mom's family and my grandparents I was extremely close to.
• 8:20
  Samson Q2U Microphone-10: And so there Lagree laid in his isolet and the NICU and I in my hospital bed in the ICU at St.
• 8:26
  Samson Q2U Microphone-10: Francis.
• 8:28
  Samson Q2U Microphone-10: Several days would go by and I was able to get my strength back.
• 8:32
  Samson Q2U Microphone-10: To be able to get discharged.
• 8:35
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: I was actually.
• 8:37
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: Nervous to go see him for the first time.
• 8:40
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: I mean excited, but definitely nervous.
• 8:42
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: I had.
• 8:44
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: No idea.
• 8:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: What to anticipate.
• 8:48
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: Never even seen a picture of what a NICU was, let alone walk through the doors of a NICU.
• 8:55
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: bEing wheeled down this really long hallway and entering the NICU for the first time.
• 9:01
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: And going through these different rows of babies with all this equipment.
• 9:06
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: And I had no idea what it was.
• 9:09
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: And then I remember getting wheeled up to his bed space.
• 9:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: To see him for the first time.
• 9:15
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: It'd been almost 10 days.
• 9:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: I was just amazed by how tiny he was.
• 9:23
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: He had all these IVs and wires and.
• 9:28
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: Uh, breathing too.
• 9:30
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: And at that time he was under phototherapy.
• 9:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: He had blue lights on him and then these little.
• 9:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: Goggles like sunglasses to protect his eyes.
• 9:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: It was just really.
• 9:44
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: Overwhelming.
• 9:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: But then I was able to open up.
• 9:49
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: It's a little porthole is isolet and put my finger in his hand.
• 9:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: And new.
• 9:56
  Samson Q2U Microphone-12: That we were on this journey together
• 9:59
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: I was able to visit for several hours that day.
• 10:02
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: I was still in a lot of pain with nice staples.
• 10:06
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: For my C-section and multiple surgeries.
• 10:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: And the first day it was definitely not.
• 10:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: When I would call a peaceful visit, he had test after test.
• 10:16
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: He had.
• 10:17
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: X-rays.
• 10:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: Echocardiograms ultrasounds.
• 10:21
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: I just remember when I was leaving, my head was swimming of all these new terms and words and.
• 10:28
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: Just.
• 10:31
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: Feeling very.
• 10:33
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: Overwhelmed.
• 10:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: I get, I know I've said that multiple times, but that was just my, My feeling of, oh my gosh.
• 10:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: How is he going to survive?
• 10:43
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: It was extremely heartbreaking.
• 10:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: To leave him.
• 10:49
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: Uh, finally got to visit him for the first time.
• 10:53
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: And then after a couple hours, had to be willed away to leave.
• 10:59
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: And I just had to put my trust.
• 11:01
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: I trust in the nurses.
• 11:03
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: And the doctors and my faith that.
• 11:07
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: He would be okay.
• 11:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone-11: And they would take good care of him
• 11:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: I think a hard part of the journey.
• 11:16
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Is grief.
• 11:19
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Most people just think of grief as.
• 11:23
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Someone dying.
• 11:25
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: But grief.
• 11:26
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Is the loss of anything.
• 11:28
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Grief is the loss of a dream.
• 11:31
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: The loss of.
• 11:32
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: The plan's grief is a loss of, anything that you had held?
• 11:38
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Important in your heart.
• 11:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: And say for me, it was.
• 11:45
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: The grief I didn't get to have a full pregnancy.
• 11:49
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Grief I didn't get a chance to feel my baby move inside my stomach.
• 11:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: I wanted to be awaken in the middle of the night and feel him move I wanted, To where the maternity clothes I wanted to have the experience of.
• 12:07
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Oh my God.
• 12:08
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: I think it's time to go to the hospital.
• 12:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: The baby's coming.
• 12:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: So.
• 12:15
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: I think that that's the hard part.
• 12:17
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: About the NICU as well, it's mixed emotions.
• 12:20
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: You're so blessed in you are grateful.
• 12:24
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Your baby is alive.
• 12:26
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: And.
• 12:29
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: You feel guilty?
• 12:32
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: By having grief by, grieving the loss of the dream.
• 12:37
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Grieving the loss of the experience grieving the loss of the pregnancy.
• 12:42
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Grieving the loss of the delivery.
• 12:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: And I think that that needs to be validated because.
• 12:50
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: The NICU experience is such a roller coaster ride.
• 12:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: With so many highs and so many lows it's a mixture of emotions that are swirling around her, still a postpartum mom with all your hormone levels up and down.
• 13:06
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: You are an anxious, nervous mom, because.
• 13:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Your baby's on life support.
• 13:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: You don't know what each day's going to bring as you go into the NICU.
• 13:16
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: And then you're also sad.
• 13:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: You're angry.
• 13:19
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: You're hurt.
• 13:20
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: You're grieving the loss of.
• 13:23
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: What could have been, what should have been, what you thought you wanted it to be.
• 13:27
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: And It's a hard journey.
• 13:29
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: And it's not something that just goes away quickly.
• 13:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Even when you are what I used to call the outside world.
• 13:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Then it gets its own little bubble.
• 13:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: The outside world.
• 13:43
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: You know, So many of your friends and family.
• 13:47
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Have stories and experiences of pregnancy or your friends are having healthy babies.
• 13:53
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: You relive it relive it constantly.
• 13:56
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: And it's definitely a tug between feeling blessed that your baby's alive, but then.
• 14:03
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: Grieving the loss.
• 14:06
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: And having time in space.
• 14:09
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: That it's okay.
• 14:11
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: To be sad that it didn't work out.
• 14:14
  Samson Q2U Microphone-2: The way that you had hoped.
• 14:16
  Samson Q2U Microphone-18: As I was trying to deal with all of my emotions.
• 14:20
  Samson Q2U Microphone-18: I looked.
• 14:22
  Samson Q2U Microphone-18: For the positive things.
• 14:24
  Samson Q2U Microphone-18: I looked for the positive moments.
• 14:27
  Samson Q2U Microphone-18: And finally after several weeks i was able to hold him for the first time
• 14:32
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: I remember having my hands over his little body.
• 14:36
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: Um, my chest holding him skin to skin.
• 14:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: Closing my eyes and trying to tune out all the alarms and beeps from the monitors.
• 14:48
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: And just for a moment.
• 14:50
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: I feel like a normal mother.
• 14:53
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: Holding their newborn baby.
• 14:56
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: It was surreal.
• 14:59
  Samson Q2U Microphone: My new normal.
• 15:00
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We get off the elevator.
• 15:03
  Samson Q2U Microphone: The eighth floor.
• 15:05
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I walked down a very long hallway.
• 15:08
  Samson Q2U Microphone: 110 steps with my stride.
• 15:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Have we count them one by one.
• 15:15
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Wondering what this day was going to bring.
• 15:19
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Was it gonna bring.
• 15:20
  Samson Q2U Microphone: milestone a setback.
• 15:23
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Anxiety.
• 15:25
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Fear.
• 15:26
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Joy.
• 15:28
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Can vividly hear the click.
• 15:30
  Samson Q2U Microphone: At these double doors, it would.
• 15:32
  Samson Q2U Microphone: You would enter the NICU.
• 15:35
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And walk back.
• 15:37
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And just wait to see what today would bring.
• 15:40
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: I had to find.
• 15:42
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: The joy.
• 15:44
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: The joy and the hard.
• 15:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: The joy and the sucky situation.
• 15:48
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: The joy and the chaos.
• 15:51
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: Even if it was for a moment, to hold him.
• 15:55
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: To put my finger in his hand.
• 15:57
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: Or to visit him.
• 15:58
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: I had to try to find.
• 16:00
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: A joyful moment.
• 16:02
  Samson Q2U Microphone-14: Each and every day.
• 16:04
  Samson Q2U Microphone: All of my friends and family.
• 16:07
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We're so supportive.
• 16:09
  Samson Q2U Microphone: But it also was extremely hard.
• 16:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Life in the NICU has ups and downs.
• 16:15
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I was quickly learning that.
• 16:17
  Samson Q2U Microphone: This world.
• 16:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And the outside world or hard to maneuver.
• 16:21
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I was in a phase where all of my friends were either pregnant.
• 16:26
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Getting pregnant, having babies.
• 16:29
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And it was very difficult for me.
• 16:31
  Samson Q2U Microphone: To navigate both.
• 16:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I remember.
• 16:36
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Getting.
• 16:37
  Samson Q2U Microphone: A call from a friend.
• 16:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Talking about her baby and how she wanted A girl in, And I just remember thinking in my head.
• 16:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Just be blessed that you have a healthy baby.
• 16:49
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And I.
• 16:50
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I was generally happy for her, but I realized quickly what a blessing, a healthy baby is.
• 16:58
  Samson Q2U Microphone: What a blessing to be able to give birth with no complications.
• 17:04
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I started isolating myself.
• 17:06
  Samson Q2U Microphone: From.
• 17:07
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Essentially the outside world.
• 17:09
  Samson Q2U Microphone: It was very hard for me.
• 17:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Too.
• 17:14
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Maintain.
• 17:17
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Conversations.
• 17:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I was emotionally and physically exhausted.
• 17:21
  Samson Q2U Microphone: It was hard to talk about just normal things.
• 17:24
  Samson Q2U Microphone: When.
• 17:25
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I felt like I was hanging on by a thread.
• 17:28
  Samson Q2U Microphone: agrees NICU stay.
• 17:31
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Was eventful.
• 17:33
  Samson Q2U Microphone: He, he battled a lot with infection.
• 17:35
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I'll never forget one time.
• 17:37
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And the nurse has called me.
• 17:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And said I needed to come in.
• 17:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Typically I'm already, there, but the one morning I was taking my time.
• 17:47
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I got a call to come in.
• 17:50
  Samson Q2U Microphone: That he was sick.
• 17:51
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Did he had pneumonia?
• 17:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I remember rushing there.
• 17:57
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Looking at him.
• 17:58
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And he was this.
• 17:59
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Dusky color gray.
• 18:02
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I didn't think he was going to survive.
• 18:05
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: I was sad, scared, and my heart was breaking.
• 18:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: He battled with infection multiple times.
• 18:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: He had pneumonia twice.
• 18:16
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: Bloodstream infections, UTI eyes, the poor kid.
• 18:21
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: Got everything.
• 18:22
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: He was on.
• 18:24
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: A ventilator or some type of ventilator.
• 18:26
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: He went through.
• 18:28
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: All of the types from a high frequency, Conventional oscillator, some sort of mechanical ventilation for 75 days.
• 18:40
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: And I will never forget the 75th day.
• 18:43
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: When we got to take the tube out.
• 18:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: Actually see his face without any tape on it.
• 18:51
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: It was a sigh of relief.
• 18:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: It was such a hurdle.
• 18:56
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: That we had overcome.
• 18:59
  Samson Q2U Microphone-15: A major milestone
• 19:01
  Samson Q2U Microphone: look are you spent.
• 19:03
  Samson Q2U Microphone: 118 days in the NICU.
• 19:06
  Samson Q2U Microphone: 118.
• 19:07
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Long days.
• 19:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I'll never forget when I got the call.
• 19:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I was on the interstate.
• 19:14
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I was running up to get a couple extra baby things.
• 19:17
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I got a call from the nurse practitioner.
• 19:20
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Asking if I wanted to take my baby home today.
• 19:25
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Tears just hit my steering wheel.
• 19:29
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And I turned around as quickly as possible and called my husband.
• 19:33
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And utter disbelief that today was the day.
• 19:36
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We were going to be able to take him home.
• 19:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We took him home.
• 19:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Not the way that every baby would want to be taking him.
• 19:45
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We had to go home.
• 19:47
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And a car bed, which is a flat car seat because we failed our upright.
• 19:51
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We had to go home on oxygen and a monitor.
• 19:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Equipment.
• 19:55
  Samson Q2U Microphone: That would be tethered to him.
• 19:57
  Samson Q2U Microphone: For a little bit longer.
• 19:59
  Samson Q2U Microphone: But at least we were going home.
• 20:01
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Certainly don't warn you about life after NICU.
• 20:06
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I was ready just for peace.
• 20:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone: To be home with family.
• 20:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone: To enjoy my baby.
• 20:14
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Yeah, they quickly became a revolving door of appointments and therapist Every week, there'd be multiple people coming to the house, a nutritionist to weigh him.
• 20:25
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Uh, physical therapist, occupational therapist.
• 20:29
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And then we had all of our specialty follows up, follow up.
• 20:34
  Samson Q2U Microphone: The pulmonologist.
• 20:35
  Samson Q2U Microphone: The GI doctor developmental clinic.
• 20:40
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And round and round, we went.
• 20:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And it wasn't an easy transition home.
• 20:45
  Samson Q2U Microphone: He quickly.
• 20:47
  Samson Q2U Microphone: He wasn't gaining weight.
• 20:50
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Even though I would try feeding him.
• 20:53
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Feeding is something that we struggled with in the hospital.
• 20:57
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And then when we got home, he would just fatigue.
• 21:01
  Samson Q2U Microphone: You get tired and not eat enough.
• 21:03
  Samson Q2U Microphone: And I just remember crying over him as I would feed him.
• 21:08
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Tears falling on top of him.
• 21:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Please eat, please eat.
• 21:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Are we going to have to get back to the hospital?
• 21:16
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Safer.
• 21:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Um, a six more months of this.
• 21:20
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Up down and sideways.
• 21:23
  Samson Q2U Microphone: We endured.
• 21:26
  Samson Q2U Microphone: Not to say that they weren't plenty of joyful moments.
• 21:28
  Samson Q2U Microphone: There were moments of being with family.
• 21:30
  Samson Q2U Microphone: There were walks in the stroller, playing with my dogs.
• 21:35
  Samson Q2U Microphone: But there's still this cloud overhanging that we weren't home free.
• 21:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone: It really wasn't until Thanksgiving he finally started to turn a corner and.
• 21:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone: I was gaining good weight and started thriving
• 21:50
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: finaLly.
• 21:52
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: This.
• 21:54
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: NICU journey.
• 21:56
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Had come to an end.
• 21:58
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: We were offered oxygen offer monitor.
• 22:02
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: We were gaining good weight.
• 22:05
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: And it was like a cloud finally.
• 22:08
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Lifted.
• 22:09
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Over us.
• 22:10
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: It was.
• 22:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Beautiful.
• 22:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: It was a blessing.
• 22:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: It was.
• 22:14
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Quite a joyous event.
• 22:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: After this experience, I.
• 22:21
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I started to go back to the NICU.
• 22:26
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: And volunteer.
• 22:29
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I created a.
• 22:31
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Parent partner program for the NICU.
• 22:35
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I knew that these families needed.
• 22:38
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Support from some wedding.
• 22:41
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: He'd been there.
• 22:42
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I think the biggest struggle, why I was in the NICU.
• 22:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: What's the lack of connection.
• 22:48
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: With other parents moms or families that were going through Similar struggles.
• 22:56
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I wanted to figure out a way to help somebody.
• 23:00
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Go through that journey.
• 23:03
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: So on the GRI was about.
• 23:05
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I think 18 months old.
• 23:09
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I call the nurse manager in the NICU.
• 23:12
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: And went and talked to her to see if I could start volunteering and, created this parent to parent.
• 23:18
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Support group.
• 23:21
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I would go there.
• 23:23
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Weekly multiple times a week and was able to round, on the NICU and offer support to families.
• 23:32
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: That we're going through the same struggles that I had just gone through.
• 23:36
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I'll never forget.
• 23:37
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: One day I was there volunteering.
• 23:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I got a message from the nurse manager to come into our office.
• 23:43
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I was a little surprised, hoping that I hadn't done anything wrong.
• 23:47
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Had a conversation with her.
• 23:50
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: She was say genuine uplifting and encouraged me to go back to nursing school.
• 23:58
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: To become a NICU nurse.
• 24:00
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: And.
• 24:02
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Be able to take care of these babies and families.
• 24:06
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: And so.
• 24:08
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: The grease first day of preschool was my first day of nursing school.
• 24:13
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: After nursing school, I was able to work in the same NICU that took such great care of my son.
• 24:19
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: It's been over 10 years now.
• 24:21
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: That I've been working in the NICU.
• 24:24
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: And it's been such a blessing.
• 24:27
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I do remember when I got discharged.
• 24:30
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Praying and thinking.
• 24:33
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: That there's some purpose to this, that God has a plan and.
• 24:39
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: He had a plan for me.
• 24:42
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I didn't know it at the time.
• 24:43
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: There are plenty of times that I was.
• 24:46
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: Um, my niece scared.
• 24:49
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: But then there were plenty of joyous moments of milestones experiences and people I got to meet as hard as the struggle.
• 25:00
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I believe that there was purpose.
• 25:03
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: And.
• 25:05
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: I am so blessed.
• 25:07
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: To be able to care for.
• 25:08
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: These babies and families.
• 25:11
  Samson Q2U Microphone-16: And help them on their NICU journey.
• 25:15
  Charlotte: I appreciate you spending this time with me until next time, keep sowing the seeds of love in your life and those around you.