Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / 48. Your Divorce Recovery *Depends* on These Nervous System Insights & Tools

Transcript

48. Your Divorce Recovery *Depends* on These Nervous System Insights & Tools · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, this is Dawn and you're listening to Dear Divorce Diary with my coach, dawn, where we explore the post-divorce life and you, the woman who lives it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: We cover everything from trauma during and after divorce to feeling like a stranger in your own life and the new frontier of life as a single woman.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We're cozy in for the conversations we've been longing to have about this new life.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, today we are diving back into the topic of central nervous system regulation, or dysregulation, depending on your perspective.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: We spoke about this a few weeks back and also got into it on my Instagram stories.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: If you saw that, it really is becoming a growing conversation in the mental health space, which is so exciting because I've long known and understood that central nervous system health is really at the root of good mental health and physical health.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Really, you can't.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: one or the other is not better or worse.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Without good central nervous system health, it's really hard to recover from depression, anxiety, trauma you name it In the body.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Without good central nervous system health, it's hard to recover from a lack of healthy digestion or hormone balance, or arthritis or chronic pain.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: All health and well-being depends on the foundation of a central nervous system that is healthy and regulated.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I know what you're thinking love.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: You're like okay, don, this is getting ridiculous.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Now I have to heal my gut and heal my trauma and heal my central nervous system.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: What I want you to know is that everything we're going to talk about today makes it easier to heal your gut, makes it easier to heal the trauma, makes it easier to get good sleep, makes it eat.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: It's like if you understand how your central nervous system functions and how to communicate well with your central nervous system, then it's like oh okay, well, let's start there.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: If you look at the foundation of all this healing work as this is one of those foundational pieces then it's easier to kind of move from the ground up rather than always trying to kind of handle things from the top down, if that makes sense.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: So let's start with.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: What is your central nervous system?
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: is your brain and your spine, your spinal column, right, so within your spine, with your spinal cord which taps into your brain.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: It's that communication pathway between your brain and your spine.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: And so then from there you have nerve bundles that go out and communicate with the rest of your body to each of your organ systems, but your central nervous system is the main information processing hub in your mind body.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: And so because the mind body, this CNS, if you will, is regulating all the other functions in the body, then it stands to reason if the CNS is not functioning optimally, then it's hard for all the other organ systems to function optimally.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So your CNS, you will know that it's regulated.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: When it's kind of humming along, you're humming along with life, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, and things come at you, data points come at you, you have life experiences and you take them in stride And you're like, okay, you know that was hard but I got right through it.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Right, that was intense but I got right through it.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Now you are coming through a season where you are not taking things in stride so much And if you're anything like me, my entire life was a season of not taking things in stride, right, it's like I was born into a dysregulated environment, which led to an immediately dysregulated central nervous system.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I was born colicky, right, so already from the start, born with chronic pain and just kind of understanding that.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: That the family system that I was born into it there was a lot going on and there was a lot that was constantly bombarding my CNS.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: So maybe for you it's just been a season, maybe you relate to there being a lifetime of dysregulation.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: But when you have a dysregulated nervous system you'll know it because There feels like there's a lot of noise in your body or noise in your mind or noise in your emotional space.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: So by noise in the body I mean chronic tension, constriction in your chest, difficulty breathing, literal chronic pain, chronic digestion, chronic issues regulating your Hormones, your Blood sugar, your blood pressure, right all of these functions.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: That if they're not consistent It's probably because there's a breakdown at the foundation of your central nervous system regulation.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: When there's a lot of noise in the mind, it's overthinking, it's literal Buzzing, like I don't necessarily mean to sound, but you know, when you just kind of at the end of the day feel Over-stimulated and vibrating, that right feeling kind of chronically over stimulated, emotionally, noticing that you maybe toggle between being really flooded with emotions or feeling kind of numb And having maybe an inconsistent response, maybe one moment that thing doesn't bother you, but the next moment, all of a sudden, you're like flying off the handle.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: We talk a lot about, i think, in the world of motherhood, we talk a lot about central nervous system dysregulation but we don't realize that's what we're talking about.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: When we talk about angry mom who just all of a sudden flies off the handle and yells Mamas, that is central nervous system dysregulation happening.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: And When we know how to work differently with our central nervous systems is when we really have the ability to get ahead of Those flying off the handle moments with our kids so that we can kind of interrupt that pattern or habit right, because then it just triggers shame and then you have the emotional flooding and now all the things right.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: So central nervous system Disregulation, if left unchecked, is a system that chronically feeds itself more and more and more.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Dysregulation Versus.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: If you can get in there and you can interrupt some of these habits And you start to really feel what, if what peace feels like you know, when you say that you crave peace, that's what you're telling me you're craving is central nervous system regulation.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: So we're always talking about our CNS.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: We just don't know From a scientific perspective what it is we're talking about.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: But I love it when we bring it to the sciencey place, because when we say I crave peace, but that feels like you know, when you grab for it it feels like well, what am I grabbing for and how do I get it right?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: But if we can look at concretely in the body how to create peace in the mind body, it's not so like unattainable, it's actually really attainable.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so like this stuff lights me up.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: So peace in the central nervous system is going to be Predicated on a couple of key factors.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: One is sleep.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: If you are not getting enough sleep, it will be impossible to regulate your central nervous system, because it has to have enough rest in order to to Not be inflamed or frazzled, fried, right, and so anytime you are coming from a place of sleep deprivation, you're automatically shooting yourself in the foot from the ability to regulate.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Everything goes downhill from there.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Now I know when we're talking about mamas with young kids or mamas that have two and three jobs, i get that what I'm talking about is a problem, right.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: But I also know, having come through those seasons myself, that there are a lot of habits that we have that do cut into our healthy sleep, and a lot of them have to do with screens, and the irony of that is, for a long time in my life I couldn't even follow sleep without a screen on.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: And that is definitely central nervous system just regulating.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: So just know that I understand how far away all of this feels for you and I've walked the path and I Understand the path and I understand the pitfalls on the path.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Now what would be some reasons that, no matter how hard you try, you would struggle to get good sleep.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Well, if you have unprocessed trauma, it's gonna be really hard for you to get good sleep.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Now It really only takes a handful of EMDR sessions to get a big chunk of unprocessed trauma out of the way So you can start to sleep differently.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I recently had a client who came to me and she had trouble breathing, was having heart palpitations, was obsessively thinking about her daughter getting hurt and She sleeps on her stomach.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: She doesn't feel sleep, safe, sleeping in any other Formation and she was having trouble sleeping in general.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: We did any EMDR session and her sleep got worse.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: She started having nightmares.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: She started having more thoughts about her daughter getting hurt.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: We had two EMDR sessions and it got better.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Three EMDR sessions and it all stopped.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: So that is to say to you that When we really tackle and we went to, there were two things that there was severe attachment trauma From her childhood, from just having a mom that really just wasn't available and was highly critical to a brutal divorce That involved physical violence, all of that loves in three sessions.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Now I'm not saying that, that's three sessions and she's done and she'll never do any other work in therapy again, but at three sessions there was enough of that old trauma out of the way that she could.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Then She's been walking consistently, she's been taking time for herself, she's been setting healthy boundaries that she can then prioritize getting good, healthy sleep, sleeping in a different position and, and and that is a it becomes available to her to really have good, nourishing sleep.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: So if we understand that good, nourishing sleep is at the foundation of some good central nervous system health, then you, if you are struggling, if you've tried CBD, if you're PS, if you're drinking before bed you are you are really negatively affecting your central nervous system health, right?
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: So drinking before bed not useful.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Cbd very useful.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Ups and sold spas very useful.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Chamomile tea very useful.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: No screen time before bed very useful.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Humming, humming to yourself Very, very soothing.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: If you're humming, humming, humming, humming, humming, humming, you are creating a vibration in your body.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Right, when we think about monks that we chant omes, there is a vibration moving through your body that is so soothing to your central nervous system.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: And if you're humming PS, there's no tyrannosaur chasing you right, so you're disengaging, fight or flight.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: You are sending this vibrational healing through your body.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: You are really creating a huge amount of soothing.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: You are creating a lot of essential oils.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Going for a gentle walk did I already say that?
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Listening to classical music, all of these things Now you may be thinking to yourself, like Don, that is a lot of stuff, like I don't have time for that, and my point to you would be you don't not have time for it.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Like there is a piece about this central nervous system work And if you follow Lindsay Lockett on Instagram or if you are a subscriber of hers, this is her bread and butter central nervous system regulation.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: It is beautiful.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: She is changing the world.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: She says too bad, like this is a commitment, right, it is a commitment to practice central nervous system health, and until you do this, the rest of it you will struggle.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Like you will struggle until you prioritize central nervous system health, and so that is a beautiful truth.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: So if you wanna be mad at me, if you wanna be mad at Lindsay, that's fine, just come to the table willing to use these tools, right?
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: So, prioritizing sleep And if you know that there's unprocessed trauma in the way, get that trauma processed with an EMDR therapist doing EFT, tapping, you name it, right, like there are many tools to be able to do that.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: So then from sleep, then we have nutrition.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: And without proper nutrients, i'm not talking about good foods, bad foods, i'm not talking about calories.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: I'm not talking about toxins, even.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, i'm talking about some toxins, okay, but I'm not talking about not eating french fries or not eating chocolate.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Love french fries, love chocolate.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, but your body literally needs the nutrients in order to have healthy cellular function within your central nervous system.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Your cells need to have the proper nutrition, literally to have healthy functioning cells.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: So this isn't about don't eat the donut, that's not what I'm saying.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I am saying don't eat the red dye number five, because literal toxins will adversely affect your central nervous system.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: So when you think about literal chemicals in your body, that's going to make it harder to do this work.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: But just making sure you have enough nutrition.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: So, eating some healthy, fresh fruits and vegetables, some healthy grains, if you can tolerate them, some healthy meat, some healthy cheeses, right, just making sure you have some really, really nutritionally dense foods and typically the green leafy vegetables are the most nutritionally dense so that your body, your cells, can be healthy.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, so, sleep nutrition.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: And yes, i understand that healthy nutrition is more expensive.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: And you know what I say to myself when I think, when I start to get stressed about how much money I spend on healthy food is, i say to myself God does not mean for me to live in a world where I can't afford to treat his temple well and therefore I'm going to prioritize this and I'm going to trust that God is going to provide for the rest of it.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: And that is really the approach that I take.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Whether it comes to investing in my sleep, investing in my food, investing in the chiropractor, the therapist, the coach, the you name it, i really believe that God does not.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Whomever.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Your God is for you right, god does not intend for you to move through this process without the proper support, and so I believe that I am walking in faith when I say, okay, i'm going to do the hard things and prioritizing these funds for this, and that God is going to bless me in those spaces.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: So, sleep, nutrition, and then we have really starting to get into the nitty gritty of understanding your central nervous system specifically.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about touch.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: For some of us, touch is going to be a very important part of regulating our central nervous system.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Having those squishy hugs, having a massage, having my daughter likes to play hairstyles and it's one of my favorite times because she's brushing and fussing with my hair and it feels so good to me and that is regulating for my central nervous system.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: It's sending those cues through my body that all is well, that I am safe, that I am loved, that it feels good, right.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: But there are some of you out there that touch is going to cause dysregulation in your central nervous system.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: If you're overstimulated from having 82 tiny humans crawl on you, if you have a history of physical or sexual trauma, we just know that touch could be something that causes dysregulation.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about sound.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Right, for some of us, like I said, the humming, the vibration, a sound bowl, some classical music, is going to be very, very regulating.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: For some people, sound is going to be dysregulating.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: There are tools like sensory deprivation chambers, like float tanks.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Have you ever seen any of those float therapy tanks?
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: They're wonderful for central nervous system regulation because the central nervous system needs white space in order to find peace right And to say, oh, i know what peace is.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, coloring Coloring can be very regulating, but for some people it might feel frustrating.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Things like CBD are very regulating, things like stretching.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Stretching is very, very, very good, but if you push past your point of comfort when you're stretching, if you get into pain now you're causing pain is dysregulating to the central nervous system.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: So body movement in general, like dance, walking and taking a great bar, pilates class or a yoga class these are all amazing things that are helping create strong foundations for central nervous system health.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: When I'm lifting heavy, that's questionable about whether or not it's good for my central nervous system.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: If I give my body enough time between sets to recover, then it's fine.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: If I start to do heavy lifting and I get nauseous now I know I've pushed my central nervous system too far in a training session.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: So you have to know that when you are recovering from trauma, when you're focusing on healing your central nervous system, if you're running marathons, you have to be in touch with how dysregulated you feel, because sometimes pushing too hard in the physical is gonna cause dysregulation rather than that regulated sensation.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Pain, a little bit of pain, a tiny bit, like we talk about the window of tolerance in EMDR.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: When we stimulate things too much, too far, right, then we can cause shutdown.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: So if you're feeling emotional pain, you know, between zero and five.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: If you're feeling physical pain, between zero and four, five.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's manageable, right.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: But if pain in your body of nausea, if pain, if emotional pain is starting to creep past five, then we know that it is causing a tax on the central nervous system.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: So now in EMDR we're gonna creep past five in the emotional pain realm, but we're only gonna do it for very brief moments of time, we're not gonna stay there, right?
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: If you're feeling pain, any kind of pain in the three above three, for a sustained period of time, we really gotta work on dialing that down, because the central nervous system cannot heal and regulate when it's getting that amount of feedback all the time about pain.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: So, really understanding the things that you can do to dial that pain down.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Now this applies also to hunger, to having to pee, to, like I said, working out, to, if you stand for your job, right, the pain in your feet like really really getting dialed into how you can take such epic care of yourself that you are not delaying going to the restroom or having a sip of water, or having a few bites of delicious, healthy food, or wearing the right shoes, or sitting down for a couple of minutes, or standing up for a couple of minutes or you name it right And no matter what, being committed to taking care of yourself, because you understand and believe at a core level that unless we do this work, we cannot really really get to the peace that we're talking about Now.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: One of the most powerful tools that you have to regulate your central nervous system, love, is your breath and nature.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Your breath and nature are two insanely powerful ways to get grounded into your mind, body And if you breathe and you notice that your breath is constricted and you are committed to expanding your breath, that in and of itself can do so much for you.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: So it may require you doing some stretching while you're breathing.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: It may require you getting outside while you're breathing.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: It may require you breathing deeply for 10, 20, 30 minutes before you can really expand your ribcage and down into your diaphragm enough.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: But breathing down to that diaphragm is part of what activates the vagus nerve, which is the nerve system that moves through your central nervous system, and that is the quickest way to cue that you are safe.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: So, really, so, let's go with a really long video.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: When you set those reminders in your phone to breathe, when you put those notes around you to breathe, when you really prioritize your breath and you notice when you're feeling Panicky or you're feeling stuck or you're feeling really Disregulated, a lot of noise in your mind or your body and you get really committed to breathing.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, love, super game changer.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: And I know it's so simple, it sounds so ridiculous, but we forget, right, because it's just so habitual to get by on tiny little amounts of oxygen, and so then we get brain fog and we get forgetful and we Feel anxious, and it's because we're cutting off our oxygen supply By not breathing, right.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: So use this as your cue to take a few deep breaths right this moment.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Now, going outside, we automatically tend to expand when we're standing in nature.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: It just has the capacity to create an expansive experience in our mind, body.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: So the more you can combine some of these tools, the faster the regulation comes to you, the faster the groundedness comes to you, right.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: So if you can Stand outside or sit outside barefoot, connected with the literal earth, breathing fresh air.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: If you're in a very urban city setting, breathing fresh air outside may not be as available to you as I mean, but really standing next to a tree and breathing, touching that tree even, and breathing is so Regulating and soothing to your central nervous system.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Now There's so many great, so many, so many other great tools and maybe I'll link some of those tools in the show notes here.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: But have you heard me talk about massaging your inner ear?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: just sticking your pinky inside your ear and doing circles, you know, for a minute, right both sides, just doing circles in your ear canal.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: That Stimulates the vagus nerve, which stimulates the central nervous system to know that you are safe.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: All of this is bringing down cortisol levels in the body.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: It's creating more available Neurotransmitters.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: It's going to improve your digestion, it's gonna prove your overall mood.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: There are so many of these tools that really just having a handful of them handy is quite brilliant.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: You've heard me talk before on the pot about Ice bathing.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Ice bathing can be wonderful central nervous system tool, but you have to really have a sense of How well you can regulate your central nervous system through it at first.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: When you first do it a couple of times, it may be extremely Disregulating at first.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: If you find that you've tried it once, twice, three times and it's too much for you, then just Trust that it's too much for right now.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: But if you've done it a few times and you've really practiced that deep, deep breathing and you and it feels soothing to you, great.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Do that same thing with the sauna.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Saunas can be really really, really good for healing At a cellular level.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: But if you've tried sauna or hot shower or hot bath and it feels suffocating And it's too much for you, then trust that it's too much for you.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: So much this work really is about fine-tuning and honoring the truth of who you are and how you function best and then saying ridiculously loyal to that.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: So we have talked so much about What the central nervous system is, how it's regulated, how to know if it's dysregulated.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Let's talk a little bit about what causes dysregulation, dysregulation.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: So traumas first and foremost.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Too much stimulation, too much painful stimulation for too long, causes chronic dysregulation, causes those cortisol levels to be on high alert, causes that amygdala to be overactive, all the parts of the mind body that Are attempting to regulate all the time There's too much going on in that system and it cannot keep up right?
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: so traumas, a lack of good sleep, a lack of good nutrition, a lack of healthy support, a lack of self-esteem, right, all of these things cause central nervous system dysregulation, chronic disease so if you have chronic pain or an underlying chronic disease, it was probably caused by dysregulation secondary to trauma, right?
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: So we really have to kind of look at what is the?
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: what is ground zero for your central nervous system regular dysregulation.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Was it attachment trauma?
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: Was it something while you, while you were even in utero?
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Is there something generationally right?
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Is there some generational trauma that was going on?
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Did your parents get divorced and that season of your life caused a huge amount of dysregulation that maybe you never recovered from, and then you learned to regulate yourself through having a relationship.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: But then you know that relationship ended and boom, now, all the sudden, all of your original dysregulation is like just on fire on the surface.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: So there's so many things that can cause central nervous system dysregulation that if we don't mmm, if we don't learn how to regulate early on, that then it just piles on right and we have event after event after event after event that finally causes us to literally be fried.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: And if you relate to feeling fried, then just know that love.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: So much of what you're experiencing.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: You know maybe you've internalized as you've done something wrong or there's something wrong with you, or you're just not good enough, or you can't handle things, and that ain't it love.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: It's like, literally, your brain and your spinal cord are stressed the f out and that all feels like emotional pain, mental stress and physical tension.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: And so you know there are a lot of fancy tools for healing trauma, like EMDR, for instance, but you would be shocked at how much you, focusing on the core pieces of sleep, nutrition and breath, will allow you to reclaim your life.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: And then, of course, you add to it all of the things that we love to talk about here on the pod, like EFT, tapping, emdr and journaling, and go, friend, you're, you're on it at that point right, and nobody else owns your mental health or your esteem.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: At that point you own it.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: it starts and stops with you, and so what I love about this conversation is that it breaks it down to the concrete reasons that this works and will absolutely save your life, and then it just kind of becomes binary, like if you want to feel peace, then you will make a plan to tackle these things.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: And if you need help making a plan, i'm your girl, whether you hit me up in the DMs or send me an email, or you join a different D word when it launches like or you go follow Lindsay Lockett, she's got courses right.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: There are so many ways.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: And so make a plan, own it, because you've got this, you absolutely can do it.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: And if you wouldn't be here, if you weren't willing to do it?
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: so I love you so much, i believe in you and I cannot wait to see what you do with a regulated central nervous system.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Peace, dear divorce.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: Diary is a podcast by my coach, john.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: You can find more at my coach Johnener black hard.