Latest / Brett Keane and Eve Show / Brett Keane Health Agoraphobia, Depression, New Music

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Brett Keane Health Agoraphobia, Depression, New Music · Brett Keane and Eve Show

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  I carved your name into my veins of our beneath the midnight
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  rains you swore the stars would never fade.
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  But soul, my soul in a masquerade loves attacker.
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  In the dark, twisting deep, it leaves its mark.
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  The trail sings, a hollow tomb beneath the cold and shattered
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  moans, whispers coiled like a snake.
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  A fragile trust you soon forsake.
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  But I drink your lies a bitter wine now shadows claim what once
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  was mine. Love's a dead guy in the dark,
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  twisting teeth It is. It's Mark.
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  All right. Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
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  My name is Brett Keene from GOD TV Radio.
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  I hope you're all having a blessed, wonderful day out
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  there. Oh, goodness gracious.
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  When you get a chance, check out my Spotify radio station where
• 1:52
  you can watch and listen to exclusive content that I don't
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  put on YouTube because I don't want to get strike for hate
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  speech and many other things that the AI algorithm called
• 2:03
  Gemini by Google likes to attack repeatedly.
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  So there's that. And you can also check out my
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  new albums. That's right.
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  And I said plural albums. Today I'm releasing 2 more
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  albums. An album I contributed with with
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  a rap band, helping them do the music, also enhancing their
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  sound, giving it more bass, more strength and authority to the
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  voices, adding sound effects as well as musical contribution.
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  And I'm also releasing an album where there's a great deal of my
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  brother performing on guitar and working and all that kind of
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  stuff. If you'd like to see some live
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  performances by Justin, you can check out his YouTube channel,
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  Justin Keene YouTube. Or you can go to Spotify, listen
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  to his album. I believe his album is all over
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  the place, including YouTube. If you would like to hear his
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  older materials such as Black Death.
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  He also works with other bands too, but I haven't fully gotten
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  his permission to advertise those bands because since I
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  started advertising him a long time ago.
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  For some reason non believers, although they respect and admire
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  his guitaring ability and consider him a prodigy right
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  along with his brother, they tend to harass him because he's
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  related to me. It's the same reason why I can't
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  advertise my sister's YouTube channel and her album, as well
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  as some other family members who use YouTube who are pretty
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  popular and all that, and some of their Tik Toks and so on.
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  Some of them have actually completely changed their name
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  because they didn't want to deal with the community of atheists
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  out there. Can I say something before we
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  get further into this video, dear atheist?
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  You know I don't agree with your views or your possession, but I
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  don't go after your kids and I don't go after your family
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  members. I don't go digging to your
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  Facebooks looking for who you're connected with and your family
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  members and all that. I know I'm not going to be able
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  to rationalize with you or trigger some kind of form of
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  empathy in your monkey like brain, but can you, if you feel
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  that you have to attack someone, can you just stick with me?
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  I'm fine with you coming at me and making the videos and
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  talking trash and all that. But there's no reason to, you
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  know, try looking for my kids and my grandparents.
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  And you know, some of you've even tried aggravating my
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  father, who I don't have a very strong relationship with as it
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  is that I've been trying to build for years.
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  And I don't understand why you guys feel like you need to do
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  that kind of stuff. And especially my brother.
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  My brother, his dream in life, besides to take care of his
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  family, is he wants to be one of the greatest musicians on the
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  planet. And he makes his music so he can
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  hear what people think about his music.
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  His video channel has nothing to do with Brett King, my sister.
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  Her channel has nothing to do with me or theology and all
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  that. In fact, I have a very diverse
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  family who a lot of them don't think like I do.
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  They don't have an interest in getting up here and arguing on a
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  podcast or radio show with non believers, so there's no reason
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  to go after them. In fact, I've got religious
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  people in my family, spiritual people in my family, and I've
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  got non believers in my family. So when you find out that
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  somebody's my family member and you attack them, you might
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  actually be attacking another atheist or someone who's a very
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  friendly religious person that did not ask for this and has no
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  interest in what the Christian community's doing.
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  They're just being themselves and doing their thing.
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  With that being said, let's talk about some other stuff.
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  So the other two albums are in the process of being
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  distributed. They're going to be all over
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  Spotify, iTunes, I Heart, hundreds of different outlets
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  and all that. Recently I did a show with
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  Atheist Junior and Steven, who is also known as AKA Proverbs
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  Ministries. He also has a bunch of other
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  YouTube channels connected to the one and the conversation
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  turned out good. I don't know why the original
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  interaction or communication was so intense for Junior was like I
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  want to debate, I want to debate evolution and all that.
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  And I don't know, maybe due to the fact that there were other
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  non believers who were saying some petty things, he kind of
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  got thrown into the mix and that's an unfortunate
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  experience. I hope that Junior understands
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  when one is going to comments and you're seeing like nasty
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  posts or people making up accusations and then suddenly
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  somebody like yourself comes along and you say, I want to
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  have a discussion, I want to have a debate.
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  It's hard sometimes to differentiate between people who
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  are authentic or sincere or just who want to have a conversation
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  over all the fluff that's around it, if that makes sense.
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  But we ended up right off the bat, we seem to identify,
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  relate, find common ground. We found out that we like a lot
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  of the same things that are entertaining, like he likes
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  RoboCop, I like RoboCop, and we mentioned a couple films, but
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  most of the conversation started off with me wanting to talk to
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  him about the universe. I hope people understand when I
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  talk about the cosmos in the universe, I don't just talk
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  about it because I'm trying to like, burn the atheist that's in
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  the room I used to enjoy. I absolutely adored having long
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  in depth conversations with an atheist friend of mine named
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  Adam Lore, who unfortunately I don't know where he's at.
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  I don't know what's going on. And all the time we've been
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  considered friends on the Internet, he was always paranoid
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  and had anxiety because of what happened to me.
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  He didn't ever want to give out his actual number.
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  And Adam Lohr is possibly not even his real name.
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  So I have no way of contacting him to see if he's OK.
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  Some people have been asking me what about J Dubs John and all
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  that. Have you tried reaching out to
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  him or Von Hilton? I don't know what happened to
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  John. John just kind of fell off the
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  face of the earth. I have received no messages, no
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  nothing, and I know that he was the type of person that didn't
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  have any quit in him. If he was around, he would be
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  making videos by now and doing his own podcast.
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  Something happened. I don't know Von Hilton.
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  Von Hilton was using John in order to have a place to go to,
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  to do live podcast. Now that that's not available, I
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  don't know where Von Hilton is. Perhaps Von Hilton decide to
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  make videos on Rumble. I don't go to Rumble anymore,
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  but I may check sooner or later to see if fun Hilton's OK.
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  Point is, ladies and gentlemen, since I've returned I haven't
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  had a great opportunity to look into the well-being of a lot of
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  people. I've been very busy with music
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  books, and that's just music and books, but the business side of
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  it, like distribution, working with people, having to interact,
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  that kind of stuff. Also the editing process,
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  recording process, filling out all kinds of information in
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  order to make all this work, making sure my name is signed.
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  Darn things that are good and not being taken advantage of or
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  screwed with by the music industry.
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  That kind of thing. And whenever I've had time, I've
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  hung out with TTOR Steven and did my thing.
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  I always assumed that if anybody needs me or wants to contact me,
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  I'm the easiest person on the planet to get a hold of.
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  I'm on every social media site imaginable, at least the ones
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  that I consider relevant. So yeah, Junior and I had a good
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  conversation. We talked about the universe,
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  and I love talking about the universe, whether it's with a
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  Christian or an atheist. I'm not one of these type of
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  people that believe that if you have a certain ideology or
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  thought process, then you're too stupid to talk about the
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  universe or life and existence. Whether I'm arguing or debating
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  or having a discussion, I simply enjoy talking about the bigger
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  things in existence than just, you know, nonsense and just
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  throwing shit out there. That's my my niche.
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  It's my thing. I've always been that way.
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  You know, it doesn't matter who I'm talking to.
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  Well, it does matter the behavior and Junior was well
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  behaved. He didn't act like the usual
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  jerks that we deal with and he seems to know quite a bit on
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  both ends, biology as well as the cosmos.
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  Whether he believes it or not. He did a lot better than a lot
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  of non believers I've talked to in the past that seemed to have
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  absolutely no theories or interests or hypothesis on how
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  things work. In fact, Junior was one of the
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  first to in a long time to talk about what his actual views are.
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  Admittedly and humble enough to say, it's no way I can prove it,
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  but I am open to this, this, this and that and it was a good
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  discussion. I like hearing people's ideas
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  and thinking outside the box type of thing.
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  I hope that that relationship that appears to be building
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  continues to get stronger. I hope that he doesn't pull a
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  Grayson on me like what Grayson did to Kent Hovind where they
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  have a nice conversation and then Grayson makes a YouTube
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  series about him later. But it is what it is.
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  Whatever happens, happens. But you know, let the coins fall
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  where they may. So not too long ago, a couple
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  days ago, I was visiting Smokey Saints channel and there was a
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  woman that it sounded like a woman, at least you can't really
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  tell sometimes. And he sings through the
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  microphones and the way people sound.
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  But she brought up agoraphobia and a Christian YouTube who
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  they've been having a lot of drama with called Bruce, who has
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  agoraphobia. Some of you out there that have
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  watched me since the beginning, you know that I have what is
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  referred to as mild agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is a condition that
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  is initiated by severe depression.
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  Unfortunately, I have a lot of family members who suffer from
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  bipolar manic depression. Now some of them do not have the
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  same problem I do. My condition actually resulted
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  in the consequence of agoraphobia.
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  Now there's two spectrums of agoraphobia.
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  There's people who get panic attacks and anxiety about being
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  around groups of people. That's not my problem.
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  Obviously it's not my issue because I do live streams and
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  podcasts, the radio, and also as a young man I did music and all
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  this kind of stuff. My problem is, is I have the
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  opposite of claustrophobia, I believe is how it's pronounced.
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  Claustrophobia is when you're you have panic attacks if you're
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  in a closed in place and you feel like there's no escape or
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  no way out, like an elevator or something like that.
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  Well, agoraphobia is the opposite because instead of
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  worrying about isolation or walls or stuff, open spaces are
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  a problem for me. I'll explain what it's like, and
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  then I'll talk to you about what I've tried to do about it and
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  what I've accomplished. Imagine that you're driving on
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  the highway or something like that, or you're walking to a
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  field or something, and then suddenly your equilibrium goes
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  out. The earth starts to tilt on you.
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  It actually feels like the world is going upside down physically
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  for you. Your eyes are playing tricks on
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  you, making you think that things are turning and spinning
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  on you. At least that's how it is for
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  me. Other people describe their
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  experience as similar, but some people don't have the the
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  response as badly. Some people have it almost to
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  the point where it's impossible to exist and have a good happy
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  life. Like I give you an example.
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  I had a aunt a long time ago who had it so bad that she couldn't
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  even step outside of her home. She couldn't even walk out the
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  door. I myself, I have the ability to
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  go outside. I can get in a vehicle, I can go
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  into towns, I can walk around the stores, I can interact with
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  people. My only problem is I can't go
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  out on like super open highways. Like for example, Atlanta, GA
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  long time ago, before the agoraphobia, the agoraphobia
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  kind of crept up on me. It wasn't like a a bam.
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  It just hit me kind of thing. It was something that steadily
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  got worse as I got older. In my 20s, I was able to play
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  football and I was able to go out and play baseball with my
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  friends and I was able to do things in gym class like running
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  around and doing all that kind of stuff.
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  There was no issue. I had one single moment whenever
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  I visited Illinois and lived up there for a little bit.
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  I went to a school and they were having an assembly and they
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  wanted us all to sit in a gigantic gymnasium.
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  I sat on the solid hard wooden floor along with a bunch of
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  other students and I felt myself getting anxious.
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  I started to sweat in my palms. It was making me feel really
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  weird. I had no idea what was going on
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  and I had no idea what agoraphobia was even was back
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  then, but I knew that something was making me uncomfortable and
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  I felt like I needed to escape where I was and I eventually got
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  up. I got in trouble by the teachers
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  because they told me to not sit up and stand up and walk away
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  but I walked away anyway. But later on I explained to the
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  principal and the teacher what happened and they let me off.
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  I didn't get any consequences or suspended.
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  I just told them, look, if I wouldn't have walked out, I
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  would have started screaming. I was having some kind of
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  problem. So how has it affected me later
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  on in life? But for a while there, before my
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  wife and I brought children in the world, I'd kind of given up.
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  I'd said, all right, I can't do anything about this.
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  This is a problem. They can't be resolved.
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  And my wife, she swore to me she loved me no matter what.
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  She stick with me no matter what the issue is.
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  So I went through that, but then brought kids in the world and I
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  realized at this point that I got to do something.
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  Something has to be done. You know, you got to go to
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  teachers meetings, you got to go to schools, you know, you got to
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  be able to help your kids. You got to be able to take your
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  kids out places and all that. So I fought hard, I struggled, I
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  forced myself to go into environments, and I started
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  learning that there were some things that I could do to
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  protect myself, or at least keep myself from totally losing my
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  shit. I discovered that if I'm in a
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  proximity of a fence or I get near trees, being that I live
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  out in the countryside, I discovered that somehow, some
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  way, I can't explain it, but it straightens out my perception
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  like I can. It's like everything straightens
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  out for me. It no longer tilts, the world
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  doesn't seem like it's upside down and I'm staring up at the
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  sky. Everything is good.
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  As long as I'm near something that is stable or in the ground,
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  I do just fine. And now I've gotten to the point
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  in my older age forcing myself to go out.
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  My wife recently took me out to eat, which involved going down
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  an open highway. There was a little bit of
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  anxiety when we got stuck at a couple traffic lights, but
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  besides that we made it. We ate some Chinese food and
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  enjoyed ourselves. There was no problem.
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  And then on the way back it didn't seem like as it was as
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  much of an issue. So the point is, is I believe
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  that if a person uses their willpower and strength, you'll
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  be able to deal with it. I've also noticed that in
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  traumatic incidences like if I got to go to a hospital because
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  of a family member for some reason, as long as my brain is
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  distracted about something else, like something really important
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  or serious or it's a life or death ordeal.
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  My brain allows me to stabilize and I'm able to do that.
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  Or if I take some kind of allergy pill or something to
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  relax me, I do just fine. I can go hundreds of thousands
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  of miles and openness and stuff, providing that I'm relaxed and
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  chilled out. People need to understand.
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  I know a long time ago atheists used to mock this condition.
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  I was very honest and open about this vulnerability, but what we
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  didn't talk about back then is the fact that I I fight it.
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  I don't just sit back on my laurels and say, you know what?
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  I'm not going to do shit about it.
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  I'm just going to let myself drown in fear and anxiety.
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  I've never been that type of person.
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  In fact, I've learned as I gotten older that I should step
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  into the unknown. I should step towards my fears.
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  It's better to deal with them before you're forced one day to
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  deal with them. Basically.
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  I've kind of weaned myself through the phobia.
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  It's like you if you have arachnophobia.
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  If spiders give you anxiety, then maybe you want to approach
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  a spider every once in a while. Maybe you want to be in the same
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  room and sit there as long as you can and look at the spider
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  and convince yourself that the spider is not a danger to you or
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  a problem. You basically tell yourself over
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  and over. It's called self programming.
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  It's where you program your mind and your brain.
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  If you find yourself lost, your vehicles, died on the side of
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  the road and you're in a dark forest, reprogram yourself.
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  Say there's nothing to be afraid of.
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  God is with me, God will protect me, I'm just fine.
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  There's nothing to worry about. Stop, realize, and continue to
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  remind and acknowledge that you have some strange chemicals that
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  are playing with your brain, that you're OK, that there's
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  nothing to worry about. This is what I do when dealing
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  with my condition and a majority of the time I'm able to handle
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  it. I can deal with it.
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  I feel sorry for people who have agoraphobia where it's went
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  beyond the mild stage where for some reason you just simply
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  didn't have the mental facilities as well as the
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  physical prowess to fight your way through it.
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  I'll tell you something that may help you if you have
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  agoraphobia. Remind yourself that there are
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  things in life that are more important than you.
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  When I told myself as a man that it was more important for me to
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  be able to get my kids to school and get my kids where they need
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  to go in life over that of my own safety and existence, that
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  somehow distracted me. Believing that I was doing the
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  right thing, believing that the fight was worth it was what
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  helped me. Having faith in myself and God
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  was what helped me be able to get over these obstacles and at
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  least get myself to the point where I can handle it for a long
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  enough time to accomplish what needs to be done.
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  I still have my moments, I still have my issues, but I haven't
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  let it defeat me. And that's how I've been with
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  everything. I'll have my falls.
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  I will fall down. I will get knocked down, I will
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  get nervous, I will get anxiety, but I'm not going to lose.
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  You can get, you can be a boxer and get knocked down several
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  times, but if you keep getting back up and you fight, that's
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  what it's all about. You know, it's like what, what
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  did Rocky say? It's not, it's not how many
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  times you got hit, it's how hard you get hit.
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  And can you keep on surviving? Can you keep on doing it?
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  Something like that to that effect.
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  Been a while since I've seen Rocky Balboa, and I think this
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  can be said about a lot of anxieties, a lot of phobias.
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  You just have to continue to remind yourself, don't dwell in
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  the fear, don't dwell in the anxiety.
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  Don't say to yourself, Oh my God, I'm so scared I can't do
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  anything. Oh, just say I'm going to be
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  fine. This is uncomfortable for me,
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  but I can do this. See, at that point, you're not
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  just psyching yourself out, you're also controlling your
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  brain because you're talking to it.
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  You're saying no, no, no, no, no.
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  And while your brain is distracted by having this, this
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  war inside your head, it's able to do it.
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  I found that certain kind of music also soothes me and
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  distracts me. One of the things I like to do,
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  and a lot of you might laugh, as you know, in the beginning of
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  some of my older videos, I used to play the Final Countdown by
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  the band Europe. Well, sometimes when I'm out on
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  the road and everything like that, I play some of my favorite
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  Europe bands, some of my favorite sweetest metal bands,
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  and it completely and utterly distracts me because I'm
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  thinking about the lyrics and I'll sing and for whatever
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  reason it puts my whole soul in the right mode.
• 26:06
  I really do believe that Christianity, believing in God,
• 26:11
  learning how to have faith and value in myself has not only
• 26:16
  helped on my self esteem, made me more confident, but it's also
• 26:22
  strengthened my resolve when it comes to fear.
• 26:29
  I don't know how to explain this to some of you, but if you
• 26:31
  believe in God, even if you know that you're dying on a table,
• 26:36
  there's a form of peace because you know that you're fine.
• 26:41
  That even when the body breaks down, even when you're about to
• 26:45
  take your last breath, you're still not gone.
• 26:49
  Just because the lights are going to go out for a moment and
• 26:53
  existence around you will go dim.
• 26:56
  Hope never dies. There's something about that
• 27:01
  that's reassuring. There's something about that
• 27:04
  that can help you in your life. Until you find hope within
• 27:11
  yourself and hope within God, you'll never be able to find
• 27:18
  that peace. You'll never be content.
• 27:22
  So there it is. The only weakness or
• 27:27
  vulnerability I think that I do have that I have never been able
• 27:32
  to break out of, nor should I as I don't like to.
• 27:38
  I can't get over the fact that people in this world suffer and
• 27:42
  I definitely don't appreciate it when people I love or care about
• 27:47
  suffer unnecessarily or go through any kind of evil that
• 27:51
  they don't deserve. That's that's something that's
• 27:56
  hard for me. I have a lot of struggles
• 28:00
  throughout life and everything like that.
• 28:02
  But if I were to see somebody like Steven TTOR or someone I
• 28:07
  care about or you know, obviously family go through some
• 28:10
  hard times. That is what's aggravating for
• 28:15
  me and upsetting. And I think that's one of the
• 28:17
  reasons why a lot of you non believers out there, you direct
• 28:21
  your attention towards my family because you know, I'm a family
• 28:24
  man. You know I'm a father, you know
• 28:27
  that I'm a person who tries to make connections with loved
• 28:32
  ones, and you also know that I want very much for myself to be
• 28:38
  able to socialize and connect with people.
• 28:40
  It's one of the reasons why I'm on the Internet, not just to
• 28:43
  preach or do religious sermons at people, but actually to
• 28:47
  interact with other human beings and enjoy life and their
• 28:51
  experiences with them. You know that because a lot of
• 28:56
  you have the same desire. That's why you try to crush me
• 28:59
  under foot and try to humiliate me and make me out to be a what?
• 29:05
  I forget what the word is, but basically you try to make me
• 29:08
  look like I'm garbage in order to take that away from me.
• 29:12
  Something that's very important to you as well.
• 29:15
  And that's sad. It's sad when people who don't
• 29:18
  even know you, people who've never even interacted with you,
• 29:22
  they've made the decision to try to control your life and and
• 29:26
  stop that kind of stuff. Unfortunately for you, you
• 29:29
  failed at every turn. I still make friends, I still
• 29:32
  connect, I still make great content.
• 29:35
  I still am enjoying life and enjoying those who were not
• 29:40
  shallow and found substance in me and I found substance in
• 29:43
  them. You have failed every moment of
• 29:47
  the day that you have tried to do this to me.
• 29:50
  But I have seen you do it. I have seen some of you out
• 29:55
  there try really, really hard. I just wanted to remind you that
• 30:02
  I'm still Brett Keen, badass of the Internet and social media
• 30:06
  and life. I'm still the champion and
• 30:08
  winner of existence, and you are still nobody.
• 30:13
  In fact, while I'm talking about you, most people who are
• 30:16
  watching the video probably won't even know specifically who
• 30:19
  I'm talking about because that's what a nobody is.
• 30:23
  It's nobody to even talk about, right?
• 30:29
  I was a little cold there. I was a little cold.
• 30:33
  I will be humble and admit that was rough.
• 30:36
  All right, with all that being said, God bless.
• 30:39
  I hope you all have a wonderful time.
• 30:42
  When you get an opportunity, you can go to my site, check out the
• 30:45
  new thing GOD TV radio, Brett King, Justin Keen.
• 30:49
  The fall of creation is the title of the second album and
• 30:53
  the other one be looking for this.
• 30:56
  Oh, by the way, you can go down here, listen to any of the songs
• 31:00
  for free. You only get three turns at each
• 31:03
  song, though. It's like you can listen to it
• 31:05
  three times and then it will deactivate on you.
• 31:08
  You will not be able to listen to it again unless you go to
• 31:10
  Spotify or some other website to listen to it.
• 31:13
  Or you can just buy the CD or buy a digital copy.
• 31:18
  This is the third release that's coming out at exactly the same
• 31:22
  time as the other one, GOD TV Original Gangster Saint Louis.
• 31:27
  Again, you can go down, look at the album covers, the images.
• 31:31
  You can listen to the songs for free, three shots and go
• 31:35
  somewhere else. And that is that.
• 31:39
  This is my website. You can go to
• 31:40
  brettking.bandcamp.com. And that is where all my stuff
• 31:46
  is. And of course, we sell
• 31:47
  merchandise, T-shirts, mugs, you name it, Everything under the
• 31:52
  sun, jewelry, necklaces. Yeah, quite the entrepreneur.
• 31:56
  Went into business for myself. What are you going to do?
• 32:00
  And all this up here are clickable links, even though it
• 32:03
  looks like it's a part of the picture.
• 32:04
  This is called an image table. I can teach you guys how to make
• 32:09
  images flickable one of these days if you want to.
• 32:13
  If you're interested, say Brett, I want a tutorial on that.
• 32:17
  There you go. All right, it's been fun.
• 32:23
  I carved your name into my veins of our beneath the midnight
• 32:34
  rains you swore.