Latest / Go Wildly Podcast / Breath, Fire & the Meaning of Resilience with Calvin Livingston | Go Wildly Podcast

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Breath, Fire & the Meaning of Resilience with Calvin Livingston | Go Wildly Podcast · Go Wildly Podcast

• 0:00
  Welcome to Season 2 of Go Wildly podcast.
• 0:03
  We are Emily and Heather, 2 childhood friends who carry a
• 0:06
  mic into wild places like rivers, trails, and forests with
• 0:10
  wild people to host raw, honest conversations about adventure,
• 0:15
  healing, identity, and the transformative power of nature.
• 0:19
  In this season, we're centering the voices of people who call
• 0:22
  Southern Oregon home. Outdoor enthusiasts and outdoor
• 0:25
  professionals whose lives have been shaped, changed, or are
• 0:28
  continually influenced by time outside.
• 0:31
  Come along as together we go wildly.
• 0:36
  OK, we're recording. Awesome.
• 0:38
  Hello. Today on Go Wildly we are
• 0:41
  excited to be joined by Calvin Livingston.
• 0:44
  Calvin is a Southern Oregon based breath work facilitator,
• 0:48
  Wim Hof Method instructor and wildland firefighter whose life
• 0:52
  has been shaped by deep time outdoors.
• 0:55
  His relationship with nature runs through fire lines, cold
• 0:59
  rivers, sauna, heat and conscious breath.
• 1:02
  Places where presence is an optional and resilience is
• 1:06
  earned. Whether he's working on
• 1:08
  wildfires or guiding people through breath work and cold
• 1:11
  exposure, Calvin sees the outdoors as a place of
• 1:14
  initiation. A place that strips things down
• 1:17
  and reminds us who we are beneath comfort and distraction.
• 1:21
  We're really excited to talk with Calvin about the outdoor
• 1:24
  experiences that shaped him, what the elements continue to
• 1:27
  teach, and how breath can be a bridge back to ourselves.
• 1:31
  We're here at Lower Table Rock in the beautiful Rogue Valley,
• 1:36
  and we're going to first do a little tour of the sauna bus
• 1:39
  that he's been building, and then we'll do a little hike part
• 1:43
  way up Table Rock and find a nice little spot to sit and
• 1:46
  chat. Yeah, we're not going to go
• 1:48
  fully. Up Table Rock today, y'all.
• 1:52
  Time and wind and just. That's just the way dialed we
• 1:57
  got to. We got to dial it in OK.
• 1:59
  Let's do it. Tell us all about this bus that
• 2:01
  you've been building, where the inspiration came from, what the
• 2:04
  process has looked like and where you see it going.
• 2:09
  Let's just. Well, let's go in the bus.
• 2:11
  Let's go in the bus, let's go in the bus.
• 2:12
  Let's go straight in, straight in.
• 2:14
  We got away from the deploys. Great sound insulation in here.
• 2:23
  Yeah, it's all rock wool, insulated vapor barrier.
• 2:27
  The inspiration from this for this bus came from years of
• 2:32
  travelling around the world in my experiences in sauna, cold
• 2:35
  exposure and then breath work. And it really inspired me to
• 2:39
  build something that I can take on the road and bring community
• 2:43
  together, bring people together and create community.
• 2:45
  So that's my inspiration behind this wild idea of mine.
• 2:50
  And honestly, this has been probably one of the most
• 2:53
  challenging projects I've ever taken on, but we're nearing the
• 2:57
  end. Carpentry is quite the skill.
• 2:59
  Yeah, well, in a bus that's moving and I mean this thing
• 3:02
  like, yeah, it was a full school bus.
• 3:04
  It had 13 seats in it. It was, you know, I had about
• 3:09
  1,000,005 rivets and everything cameras.
• 3:13
  It was. It was fully.
• 3:14
  It hadn't been stripped prior, no.
• 3:16
  You. No, I picked it up from a school
• 3:18
  district. Wow.
• 3:19
  And so, yeah, the front of the bus still working on them.
• 3:23
  Everything's still a little bit of a work in progress.
• 3:24
  I'm going to floor this, put some bench seats in for people.
• 3:28
  And then I I'm going to make a nice box up in the front of the
• 3:30
  bus and kind of wrap that with the logo so people can kind of,
• 3:34
  you know, have a have an idea, I can put some things up there.
• 3:37
  And then this is where the back 13 feet of the bus is going to
• 3:40
  be the sauna. We're going to have a door here
• 3:42
  and then you, you bring yourself in.
• 3:44
  I kept three of the emergency windows and they're all on
• 3:48
  swivels, which is really nice. So you can, you can open this
• 3:52
  and get some fresh air, some rain, snow, whatever.
• 3:55
  And you know, element that we're in.
• 3:57
  And then I built some really big 30 inch wide benches here.
• 4:01
  So when you're sitting down, you can really get comfortable and
• 4:06
  cozy and find your your place. Or if it's just you, you can lay
• 4:11
  or. If it's you, yeah, if it's you
• 4:12
  and a couple people, yeah, there's still plenty of room to
• 4:14
  lay down and your feet are are super comfortable.
• 4:16
  You're not not ever hitting the floor for the the heat.
• 4:21
  The the mother of this bus is the beautiful NEPA sauna stove.
• 4:26
  I had reached out to the company.
• 4:28
  They heard about my story, what I had going on and they wanted
• 4:32
  to be a part of it. And so they don't buy custom
• 4:34
  lean in logo on the great and built me this amazing wood stove
• 4:41
  to fit this bus. How long have you been working
• 4:45
  on this? Like when did you start the the
• 4:47
  bus purchase and stripping process?
• 4:50
  It's been about three months. OK, wow.
• 4:53
  That's pretty, pretty quick. For stripping a bus and I'm in
• 4:57
  total transformation. Yeah, yeah, it's been a lot of
• 5:00
  blood, sweat and tears have gone into this bus and a lot of late,
• 5:03
  late night hours. What a great winter project.
• 5:05
  Yeah, totally. Well then balancing that between
• 5:08
  the travels, I just got out of a seven day meditation retreat in
• 5:11
  Marco Island, FL and so and then, and then I still do
• 5:15
  forestry work on the side. So there's been a lot of a lot
• 5:18
  of balance, but any of my downtime is going directly into
• 5:20
  the bus. Yeah.
• 5:22
  Love that. How like fulfilling?
• 5:25
  Things. Yeah.
• 5:26
  And to see, to see the like production of your work, to see
• 5:31
  to see it come through in real time, the labor, the
• 5:34
  transformation, to know that your work is creating this
• 5:39
  really cool service and product and space to share.
• 5:43
  And yeah, watch the transformation.
• 5:47
  I've been watching the process on social media over the last
• 5:50
  few months and you know, that's curated content, but it's been
• 5:54
  really cool to see like, wow, this, the progress that's been
• 5:57
  made since the last video and the time lapses of taking the
• 6:02
  seats out and stripping the sides and undoing the rivets
• 6:05
  and. Totally.
• 6:07
  And there's a lot of the community people are starting to
• 6:09
  notice it and it's starting. I just went and met with a group
• 6:12
  in Ashland called Omnia, their psilocybin retreat for veterans.
• 6:15
  Cool. And they want to they do five
• 6:18
  day retreats for veterans and they want this bus to be at
• 6:21
  their retreats. So there's like there's a lot of
• 6:23
  interest in already before even this even getting started
• 6:26
  because my plan initially for this bus was to do some outdoor
• 6:29
  adventures where we're going to do some hiking, some cold
• 6:31
  exposure in the rivers here in Oregon.
• 6:33
  And then we come back to the bus.
• 6:35
  And then I have some areas up on the Oregon coast that I have
• 6:37
  planned as well to hike down to kind of rappel down some cliffs
• 6:41
  and get into the ocean and some creeks and come back up and
• 6:44
  commute in the sauna. Wow.
• 6:46
  So that's still going to happen, but there's also a lot of events
• 6:49
  and and places that are reaching out.
• 6:51
  I love it. Yeah, I'm like how?
• 6:54
  Now I'm spiraling into like, well.
• 6:56
  I bought 3 school buses and so I sold one to a buddy and I have
• 7:00
  two left so I got this one and then still another full blown
• 7:04
  school bus. So depending how this goes, I
• 7:07
  may end up doing that once more. Wow, yeah.
• 7:09
  That's awesome. Either yeah, either a second
• 7:11
  sauna bus or that other buses transporting people.
• 7:14
  Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
• 7:16
  Wow. Yeah, Because it's still got all
• 7:18
  the seats and, and everything. It's got the, this used to be a
• 7:21
  ramp right here for wheelchairs. So to roll out, lift wheelchairs
• 7:26
  up and then you can bring it in. So yeah, that one could be used
• 7:30
  for transport potentially. That's so.
• 7:32
  This is rad. Yeah, I've.
• 7:35
  I was wondering, I saw a mobile sauna for hire type of thing,
• 7:40
  not maybe you know, you have a little bit more of oriented like
• 7:43
  retreat style with it that you want to go for.
• 7:46
  But like I saw like just like a for hire one popped up in Bend
• 7:50
  and I was like, what a cool idea.
• 7:53
  I was like, I love that. Like yes, 100% yes, I love that.
• 7:58
  And I was starting to scheme myself, but yeah, that's not my
• 8:03
  wheelhouse, but. The needs there, I mean, and
• 8:06
  people are wanting to experience something different and I think
• 8:09
  that that's a big part of facilitating is creating an
• 8:12
  experience. And that's what this is going to
• 8:14
  do is I could do a pull behind a barrel sauna or something behind
• 8:18
  the trailer, behind my truck. But this, you know, people can
• 8:21
  be in this while we go to a location and I can get right to
• 8:25
  the water's edge, you know, to where we could literally jump
• 8:28
  out of the bus and then go in the cold water and that's so
• 8:31
  cool. Do all the things.
• 8:32
  So there was just a little more intention with this one than
• 8:36
  doing a toe behind and. There's there's an extra novelty
• 8:41
  to it too, like right Sauna bus is like what?
• 8:45
  Yeah, I've never heard of or seen that before.
• 8:47
  I want to check that out. It's a very unique concept I.
• 8:50
  Think I want to, like, go somewhere while being in the
• 8:55
  sauna. That would be sick, yeah.
• 8:57
  Yeah, you get in the sauna in one location and you arrive to
• 9:01
  another one. That would be wild.
• 9:03
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't.
• 9:05
  I haven't really put that into consideration yet.
• 9:07
  Like movie in the. Movie with everything going?
• 9:11
  Yeah, that would be a little dangerous.
• 9:13
  Could be. Could be, yeah, yeah, that would
• 9:14
  be after hours, yeah. The midnight sauna ride.
• 9:19
  Totally. Yeah.
• 9:21
  The magic sauna bus, Yeah. I wonder if we could.
• 9:24
  Oh yeah. For our, for the rave.
• 9:26
  For the rave. We have plans to do a morning
• 9:29
  mountaintop rave. Oh nice.
• 9:31
  That's like healthy, you know, like, I mean, if somebody wants
• 9:34
  to bring their own. DIY substances but.
• 9:38
  But not like I want like a juice.
• 9:40
  I want to like make juice and coffee and like some sort of
• 9:43
  like yummy breakfast and it's like a breakfast rave.
• 9:48
  Yummy adult dance party on a. Mountain top, yeah.
• 9:51
  Yeah. Yeah, have a DJ out there and
• 9:54
  stuff, but this would be cool. Maybe have a sauna bus?
• 9:56
  Like the avid sauna bus, so. Yeah.
• 9:58
  Well, like I said, that's going to be the initiate initiation,
• 10:01
  the break into this. You know, there's going to be
• 10:03
  some fire dancers and sauna, cold plunge, music, food, all
• 10:08
  the things. Yeah.
• 10:09
  Big community event, yes, Yeah. And that's what it's just going
• 10:12
  to be open to the community and it's going to be by donation.
• 10:14
  I have a friend that owns the tap trucks, their ambulances
• 10:17
  that are. Taps.
• 10:18
  On them. And so she's going to come and
• 10:20
  we're going to do like kombucha and like healthy drinks, you
• 10:22
  know, But maybe there might be a beer 1 beer thing or something
• 10:26
  for whoever wants that. But for the most part, it's
• 10:28
  going to be, you know, I don't want people drinking and come
• 10:31
  and sweating in the sun. Yeah.
• 10:32
  That's not really. That's dangerous.
• 10:33
  Yeah, for sure. And that, yeah, that doesn't
• 10:35
  promote the the health. Yeah, it's not the vibe.
• 10:38
  Component of it totally. Yeah, the kiddo is so cool.
• 10:43
  Well, OK, let's wrap it up. Yeah, we got a pretty.
• 10:45
  Move up the move up the trail. Yeah, let's do it.
• 10:50
  Close up a bus. He's going to close her up,
• 10:53
  close her up, We're going to get the hell out so.
• 10:59
  Cool. What a what a neat unique.
• 11:02
  Concept We definitely need him at our amount.
• 11:05
  Of free, yeah. Like would that be 6?
• 11:07
  Yeah, it's just an added like come.
• 11:09
  Especially if it's like cold and rainy or or even if it's not,
• 11:14
  just to have a another component of statacism.
• 11:19
  All right, easy peasy. Wow, this is our first first
• 11:22
  height, is it? No.
• 11:24
  We did it. We did a stroll from Tuval.
• 11:27
  But yeah, this is our first, I guess, technical we did of this
• 11:30
  season. We.
• 11:32
  And we walked around Emigrant Lake.
• 11:34
  Yeah, but this is our first, like, elevation climb.
• 11:37
  It's like slight elevation climb of the season.
• 11:40
  We're not doing too going too hard, yeah.
• 11:45
  Yeah, this is my my fitness schedule.
• 11:49
  I can see the table rocks from my house.
• 11:50
  And so for like 12 years, I've been very consistent with coming
• 11:54
  up and down these. Is that trail run or do you just
• 11:57
  hike? Run.
• 11:59
  Yeah, I. Figure a lot of people do run
• 12:02
  these. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely, I
• 12:06
  don't know, there's something about it.
• 12:07
  It's always been such a such a big thing in my life.
• 12:10
  If I feel like if I'm consistent with with these mountains, then
• 12:14
  my life just stays in a really good place.
• 12:18
  Yeah. Well, tell us a little bit about
• 12:22
  more, a little bit more about who you are and where you came
• 12:25
  from and how you ended up here in Southern Oregon.
• 12:28
  Yeah, OK. So I was born in Ashland, OR
• 12:31
  Cool. Born and raised in Ashland, OR
• 12:34
  for the most part lived a very unique childhood.
• 12:40
  My parents were definitely more on the the poverty side.
• 12:44
  So we kind of grew up living in campgrounds in Southern Oregon.
• 12:49
  I lived below Pilot Rock by Mount Ashland in a in a wood,
• 12:54
  three story wood cabin that was no electricity, no running water
• 12:59
  for three years. And that was in elementary
• 13:02
  school when I was going to Bellevue Elementary.
• 13:07
  And yeah, I mean, Southern Oregon Lake, the mountains were
• 13:11
  where we grew up. We grew up by Hyatt Lake, Howard
• 13:15
  Prairie and Pilot Rock. And so going to school in
• 13:20
  Ashland and kind of experiencing nature and.
• 13:27
  And at the same time, you know, our bus ride, I think was 45
• 13:29
  minutes each way every morning. Whoa.
• 13:32
  Yeah. The.
• 13:32
  Bus came. They came up to like it came up
• 13:35
  this. I'm on Mount Ash and ski road to
• 13:38
  a certain point and then we had like a three mile sometimes
• 13:41
  hike, you know, from our cabin to the bus stop.
• 13:44
  Wow, to get on the bus. Uphill both ways kind of thing.
• 13:47
  Yeah, in the snow, yeah. But yeah, so I, I grew up here
• 13:51
  in Southern Oregon, got into my teenage years, was very
• 13:57
  dysregulated, got into a bunch of partying and doing all the
• 14:02
  all that those kind of things and then had.
• 14:05
  Should we do this loop trail? Yeah.
• 14:09
  Yeah, half mile. Half mile.
• 14:10
  Let's do that, see where it will take us.
• 14:13
  Yeah, let's go probably the less populated pathway to.
• 14:19
  Take. So looks like they just rocked
• 14:21
  this whole thing. It's all ready for us, yeah.
• 14:23
  They're preparing for the season.
• 14:25
  I know because we're not getting the winter, yeah.
• 14:28
  Yeah, might as well be out doing trail work.
• 14:30
  Totally. It's perfect weather.
• 14:34
  So yeah, I had AI, had my first child at 19 years old.
• 14:41
  I was 18 when he was conceived. And I realized that that my life
• 14:46
  in Ashland wasn't going really in any good direction.
• 14:50
  And so I moved to Maui, Hawaii for seven years and had another
• 14:54
  child there. Did you take your first child
• 14:56
  with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 14:58
  He was eight months old when we moved there and then and then I
• 15:02
  had my second son a couple years later in Maui and kind of stayed
• 15:08
  in that area. I was just in a place, like I
• 15:11
  was in a place in my life where I was under the influence a lot.
• 15:15
  And so I just wasn't, I wasn't regulated.
• 15:18
  I wasn't in a healthy space, lived there for seven years,
• 15:23
  came back to Oregon, went through some trials and
• 15:26
  tribulations, and then ended up really breaking through and
• 15:30
  finding myself more at like 2829 years old.
• 15:34
  Don't we all? Yeah.
• 15:37
  It takes a little while. You got to get it out of your
• 15:38
  system. Yeah, it took me a long time to
• 15:41
  get it out of my system. I feel like it was born in my
• 15:43
  system and then it just went on and on.
• 15:48
  But then I came across, I had a buddy that introduced me to some
• 15:52
  breathing practices and some cold exposure and some of the
• 15:56
  Wim Hof method probably 11 years ago or so.
• 16:01
  And then that was my first experience in learning how to
• 16:04
  regulate my nervous system and under like an extreme
• 16:08
  environment under the cold, you know, and, and then through the
• 16:12
  breath. And that really grabbed my
• 16:15
  attention and I continued that for about 5 years until I came
• 16:19
  across some transformational style breath work.
• 16:23
  And then that was an experience of a lifetime.
• 16:26
  It, it just, it was such a wild experience when I came out of
• 16:30
  that, that breathing journey, I was, I was like, whatever that
• 16:32
  was, I want more of that in my life.
• 16:35
  And it led me to travel to Bali for a month and dive into that
• 16:40
  practice, get certified in that. And then I came back, started
• 16:44
  facilitating a bunch of breath work.
• 16:47
  And then throughout that time, my practice has just evolved.
• 16:50
  I've got to travel all over the world with some amazing people
• 16:54
  in the trauma world. I've been following Doctor Joe
• 16:59
  Dispenza for many years. I just just got back from my
• 17:02
  third event with him where we look into the neuroscience and
• 17:07
  epigenetics behind what's happening inside the body during
• 17:11
  the elevated states of consciousness and meditation.
• 17:15
  Yeah, he wrote that book Supernatural.
• 17:17
  Yeah, becoming supernatural. Yeah.
• 17:19
  So yeah, this this whole experience has just kind of led
• 17:22
  me to a deeper understanding of myself.
• 17:25
  And then recently I've had some things come up in my life around
• 17:30
  relationship, which was a part of myself that I had never
• 17:35
  looked into up until now. And so that was a big, has been
• 17:39
  a big opener into the the evolution of me as well and
• 17:44
  getting to see those those shadows and work on that part of
• 17:48
  myself. Was that a part that you were
• 17:49
  intentionally avoiding or like unconscious to the avoidance?
• 17:55
  I think I was, I think it was unconscious because I had never
• 17:58
  seen it before. Like I'd never noticed it until
• 18:02
  till the situation happened. They kind of forced me to see it
• 18:05
  and I was in a place of my life to where I could actually see it
• 18:08
  for the first time. And so it really, it was one of
• 18:14
  those things like once you see it, you can't Unsee it.
• 18:16
  Hmm. Yeah.
• 18:17
  And so I kind of. And you'd be out of integrity to
• 18:21
  can to say, oh, I see it, but. Yeah, go against everything.
• 18:24
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've been really.
• 18:27
  We just had to talk about that kind of at the coffee shop.
• 18:29
  Huh. Yeah, in a way.
• 18:32
  See these these things keep. Coming up, we'll we'll bring up
• 18:35
  a subject in our like off camera private life.
• 18:38
  And then suddenly somehow that becomes the subject matter of
• 18:42
  the next interview that we do. I swear that's.
• 18:44
  That's like the synchronicities, right?
• 18:46
  Yeah, it's. Crazy how that's all connected.
• 18:50
  It is all connected, yes. Yeah, I'm a firm believer in
• 18:53
  that. I think that's what meditation
• 18:55
  has taught me is I used to think that I meditated when I would
• 18:58
  sit with myself for 5 minutes, you know, but then like during
• 19:01
  these, these seven day retreats I've been going to, you meditate
• 19:04
  for over 35 hours and you get like a really good model.
• 19:08
  But you learn to sit with yourself.
• 19:09
  And and for somebody such as myself who grew up in a very
• 19:13
  dysregulated environment for so many years, sitting was with
• 19:17
  myself was like the last thing I wanted to do.
• 19:19
  And sitting and sitting with yourself.
• 19:21
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You're sitting.
• 19:23
  So you got to overcome your body that's constantly complaining
• 19:27
  about things and then like, and then you got to sit with
• 19:31
  yourself. You want to.
• 19:32
  Sit there and we're talking about sitting or you want to go
• 19:34
  a little further for you? Yeah, we could probably even
• 19:38
  like we must go into the field a little bit.
• 19:43
  Must be getting ready to put benches up.
• 19:44
  Yeah, that's. What I was thinking.
• 19:46
  I guess they probably don't want us going off trail, but that's
• 19:49
  kind of poo pooed upon. Yeah.
• 19:52
  Especially here. Oh.
• 19:53
  You definitely don't want to walk through any of that.
• 19:55
  No, no, we avoid poison oak like the plague because it is the
• 19:59
  plague. Well.
• 19:59
  That's why one reason why I was like, oh, that's a nice little
• 20:01
  spot. Yeah, we're off trail.
• 20:03
  It's looking out over little table.
• 20:06
  Actually, this is upper Table Rock.
• 20:08
  Yeah. Let's do it.
• 20:10
  Yeah. OK.
• 20:11
  Follow. Follow your heart.
• 20:13
  Follow your gut instincts. It all leads back to the heart.
• 20:16
  Yep. OK, we'll set up our set up our
• 20:23
  little chairs. Yeah, go with that in the
• 20:24
  background, yes. Let's get all tiled, and sorry
• 20:31
  to interrupt the convo, we were starting to reel a rift.
• 20:39
  We're, I mean, we're talking about sitting.
• 20:40
  We might as well sit. Might as well practice Well, we
• 20:43
  preach, right? Yeah, but I do I, I often will
• 20:50
  meet people who will say that they are very afraid of of being
• 20:59
  alone in their head or just being, being on their own, being
• 21:03
  quiet. Yeah, I wouldn't.
• 21:05
  Say that I'm afraid I just have never done it before, but I'm
• 21:09
  know that it's something I need to explore myself.
• 21:12
  Yeah, so. What, What would you say to
• 21:16
  somebody who has never done that before and feels very averse to
• 21:22
  it or like curious, but also like, oh, I, I can't do that.
• 21:28
  That's. I would say like from from my
• 21:30
  experiences, start with some some breath work.
• 21:34
  You know, the breath is such a beautiful way to tap in to where
• 21:37
  you don't have to consciously think about things.
• 21:42
  It's a somatic practice to where it's like a bottom up type
• 21:45
  approach, you know, so you, you know, you literally don't have
• 21:48
  to. That's because consciously we'll
• 21:51
  always talk ourselves out of the situations.
• 21:53
  And then the breath is something that if you just continue to
• 21:56
  take that next breath, you're temporarily shutting down the
• 22:00
  blood flow to the prefrontal cortex, the monkey mind, the
• 22:02
  inner critic, and you're letting the body take over.
• 22:05
  And so it's such a beautiful way to to come into connection with
• 22:09
  yourself. And then from there, the
• 22:11
  meditating, I mean, it's, it's repetition, it's a practice that
• 22:16
  you have to continue. To practice.
• 22:18
  Yeah. Yeah, it is.
• 22:19
  Everything in life just a practice.
• 22:22
  We don't know how to do things we've never done before, and we
• 22:25
  only get better at things by practicing it.
• 22:28
  By practicing one, we've, and I feel like in, in this Society
• 22:31
  of, I mean, speaking personally is like, I've been led to
• 22:34
  believe that the greatest fear is the fear of the unknown.
• 22:36
  But it's like I'm flipping that script and, and the stuff that I
• 22:39
  facilitate. And it's like the greatest fear
• 22:41
  is the fear of the known because it's in the familiar, in the
• 22:43
  predictable that we don't create because we know it.
• 22:46
  It's in the unknown that we create.
• 22:47
  It's in the present moment that we create.
• 22:49
  So I also think that. Absolutely.
• 22:52
  Like we're just a Society of such instant gratification.
• 22:56
  Yeah, that like nobody wants to be a beginner.
• 22:59
  At things, yeah, yeah, We're afraid of looking dumb or or not
• 23:04
  being immediately successful at something we've never done
• 23:07
  before. Yeah, there's absolutely a fear
• 23:09
  of of beginnership. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 23:12
  And it's like, yeah, you got to, you got to step in, you got to
• 23:16
  walk through the the river, you know, change to to get on the
• 23:19
  other side. You can't just expect to put
• 23:21
  your toes in and and know everything.
• 23:23
  You know, it's, I think it's a lifelong process.
• 23:25
  And B be comfortable being uncomfortable for a little while
• 23:29
  to learn beyond your comfort zone.
• 23:32
  Well, growth requires discomfort in order to grow, in order to
• 23:35
  evolve, we have to be uncomfortable.
• 23:37
  We have to get into that uncomfortableness.
• 23:39
  And that's how I kind of facilitate my breath work a lot
• 23:42
  is is it's going to feel uncomfortable.
• 23:44
  It's you're going to feel light headed or tingly or these
• 23:46
  sensations, they're going to be like, oh gosh, you know, it's
• 23:48
  just like the cold water. You know, it's a merciless
• 23:50
  teacher and it's, you step in it and you're like, Nope, you know,
• 23:53
  we've been lied to believe too, that if we get in the cold
• 23:55
  water, we'll get sick. And this is not true.
• 23:58
  You know, it's, it's, it's flipping the script.
• 23:59
  It's flipping the the mindset. And that's like the pillars of
• 24:02
  the Wim Hof method is the cold, the breath and the mindset.
• 24:05
  You know, the mental focus is is is huge.
• 24:09
  Like believing that you can, believing that this isn't, I
• 24:12
  mean the like, mind over matter like.
• 24:15
  It's like this is I'm. Not uncomfortable, this doesn't.
• 24:18
  My fingers aren't freezing. I just, I'm good here.
• 24:22
  I can do this. Yeah, well, and just just know,
• 24:23
  yeah, just setting that intention of like, I'm getting
• 24:26
  in here and I don't give a shit what.
• 24:28
  I know it's going to be uncomfortable and I know it's
• 24:30
  going to suck for a while, but I'm, I'm going to do it, you
• 24:32
  know? And then you learn through the
• 24:33
  breath. And when you understand what's
• 24:35
  happening inside your brain, inside your mind, you're going
• 24:37
  through these emotions and fears and doubts.
• 24:40
  But after that comes the adaptation where you start to be
• 24:44
  like, OK, OK, after about 90 seconds, you know, your body
• 24:47
  starts to kind of be like, OK, we're OK, you know, So you're
• 24:50
  going from that. It's a hormetic stress.
• 24:52
  You're creating these like acute stressors in your body to better
• 24:55
  handle things in life, stresses in life, and it's making you
• 24:59
  more resilient. And show that you you can do
• 25:02
  hard things and it's only as hard as you make it out to be to
• 25:08
  a certain degree. I I've been kind of meditating
• 25:14
  on sit. You get the middle chair.
• 25:18
  I'm going to put your phone in the shade so it doesn't
• 25:20
  overheat. Overheat.
• 25:21
  Yeah. On the concept of like.
• 25:26
  Is is. Life really supposed to be so
• 25:30
  hard and uncomfortable all the time or is it OK?
• 25:35
  Is it a mindset to decide that you are accepting of that
• 25:41
  discomfort and therefore it is just less uncomfortable?
• 25:48
  I think if you were to, you know, live with the decision
• 25:54
  that life sucks and it's going to be uncomfortable, then that
• 25:57
  then that's going to be the direction that your life's going
• 25:59
  to go. So I think it is shifting that
• 26:01
  mindset 100% into the life that you that you want.
• 26:06
  I've been doing this whole path on abundance and like creating
• 26:10
  and so much of it comes because your mind can't tell an event
• 26:16
  that's happening right here in in this three-dimensional world
• 26:19
  that we're actually doing picking up a rock and throwing
• 26:20
  it or an event that we create inside of mine of picking up
• 26:24
  that rock and throne. And there's been so many studies
• 26:26
  on, they did a study on, on men working out and it was like a 21
• 26:32
  day study. And they had a control group of
• 26:35
  men that were actively working out in a gym and then a control
• 26:38
  group of men that were meditating on working out.
• 26:41
  And the guys that were that were sitting, not lifting in any
• 26:44
  weights for 21 days, but every day they were, they were
• 26:47
  meditating on this, they were actually gaining muscle.
• 26:49
  Wow. Yeah, I feel like I heard.
• 26:51
  I've heard that before. Yeah, who told?
• 26:54
  Me that it's the placebo effect essentially it's believing that
• 26:57
  something is affecting you. I think I'm.
• 26:59
  And heard that on a podcast or something like, you know.
• 27:02
  You're about to hear it on this podcast.
• 27:04
  That's right, yeah. Well, sorry guys for I also want
• 27:08
  to really quick interrupt and apologize for some mic issues
• 27:11
  and getting set up because that was the mic.
• 27:13
  I actually I accidentally hit the button.
• 27:15
  So sorry listeners, if you're still here, we appreciate you.
• 27:19
  Yes, OK. We appreciate it.
• 27:21
  We love. Hopefully it's working still.
• 27:23
  Yeah. It should be totes.
• 27:24
  We're totes my goats. We're all online.
• 27:27
  So let's kind of dive back. And so you're here now, where
• 27:34
  did we leave off in this story? Because we kind of went off on a
• 27:36
  little bit of a tangent. We did, but it was a good
• 27:39
  tangent. But that's what we're supposed
• 27:42
  to do. I don't want to like, round out
• 27:43
  the story. Of getting back to Southern
• 27:46
  Oregon and you came back after seven years in Maui and you've
• 27:53
  been back in Southern Oregon for, you said, maybe 11 years.
• 27:57
  Yeah, a considerable amount of time.
• 27:59
  I think it was 2013 or so, 2012, that I came back from Maui,
• 28:03
  yeah. So probably whatever. 1314
• 28:06
  years, yeah. And yeah, what what has when
• 28:10
  life has looked like of getting into breath work and meditation
• 28:14
  and retreats in this? Community.
• 28:18
  Yeah, yeah, it's been, yeah, a lot of travelled all over the
• 28:21
  world. I've been going all over Costa
• 28:22
  Rica and Mexico and Poland and Germany.
• 28:28
  And then I'm also, you know, I'm also a wildland firefighter.
• 28:31
  I've been doing that for many years.
• 28:32
  And so now, you know, it's, it's it's pretty unique.
• 28:35
  So I get to go out and do all this rough and tough men's
• 28:38
  stuff, you know, and there's a lot of women out there, don't
• 28:40
  get me wrong, but a lot of it's just that the hard mentality.
• 28:43
  And so I get to get out on the fire line and do this wild job,
• 28:48
  but I also get to talk to people about breathwork and cold punch.
• 28:51
  And so now I've started to. Yeah.
• 28:53
  And I'm starting, and they're starting to come to my house
• 28:55
  now. And they're starting to and
• 28:56
  police officers and all kinds of people are starting to come in
• 28:59
  and like to experience this. And, and that's all it.
• 29:02
  All it takes is like the willingness to.
• 29:05
  Such a network. To see yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 29:07
  It's such a network getting such a thing that like even last year
• 29:10
  we're on a firework cutting these like big nasty trees.
• 29:13
  And then we come back and I'm just completely black, like
• 29:16
  charcoal. The only thing is you can see is
• 29:18
  like my white eyes and this. And then I start talking about
• 29:20
  breath work and this, this guy that was leading those running
• 29:23
  the fire, he was like the, the incident commander of the fire.
• 29:26
  He's just like also, you know, I didn't know we talked about that
• 29:29
  shit out here and, and then he ended up coming and started
• 29:31
  doing, you know, some cold plunging and some breath work
• 29:34
  and it was just like blown away at at it, you know, And I think
• 29:37
  that that's The thing is the, it's looked at as like a woo woo
• 29:42
  or, or maybe a little just too hippie or something, you know,
• 29:46
  in, in certain communities, but it's been like.
• 29:50
  It's not. It's for everybody.
• 29:51
  Yeah. Well, yeah, I'm like whether you
• 29:53
  think it is or it's not, you know, come, come, experience it.
• 29:57
  And then it's up to you. And that's that's all I want to
• 29:59
  be is like a catalyst to where it's like leading the horse to
• 30:02
  the water. And then the horse can decide if
• 30:03
  he wants to drink or not, you know, and it's just come, come,
• 30:06
  experience it. And then you can make your own
• 30:08
  decision. And I would imagine that they
• 30:10
  can see the benefits in you, in your performance out on the fire
• 30:16
  line, whether it's your endurance, resilience or like
• 30:20
  ability to be in an environment that the opportunity to breathe
• 30:26
  is reduced or strained totally and you're like.
• 30:31
  I feel like it would help my mindset, you know, somewhere
• 30:34
  where I can go that's like in the moment of the like kind of
• 30:39
  hard, laborious chaos that's happening, I can like, just like
• 30:43
  rely on my breath And I know that I could, I don't know, just
• 30:47
  just regulate from that. And having the awareness and,
• 30:50
  and knowing, you know, to like breathe through, breathe through
• 30:53
  your nose as much as you can. You know, we have those hairs in
• 30:55
  our nose that are meant to filter out a lot of the
• 30:57
  particles. And, you know, on fires, it's
• 30:59
  wild. I mean, at night you turn the
• 31:01
  flashlight on and all you see is ash, you know, So you know,
• 31:03
  you're breathing that in all day and you're working 16 hour
• 31:08
  shifts and you're rotating between day shift and night
• 31:10
  shift. And so you're equal to
• 31:11
  everything in your, in your body is just like fighting to
• 31:15
  survive. So you're in a survival state
• 31:17
  for the most part. Did you do wildland?
• 31:19
  How long have you been doing wildland firefighter
• 31:21
  firefighting? I first got certified in 2012
• 31:24
  and then and then I took a. That was when I came back from
• 31:28
  Maui and then I took a break for a while, but it's been
• 31:32
  consistently for the past eight years.
• 31:34
  Cool, cool. Yeah, well, it's kind of a nice
• 31:36
  seasonal job that gives you some freedom to do the traveling and
• 31:40
  stuff. It is, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:42
  It is with having like I have my own, my own company, so I have
• 31:45
  my own contracts with the Department of Forestry and the
• 31:48
  the federal government too, so. Do you have people working for
• 31:52
  you? Is it just you?
• 31:53
  I subcontract people also, my brother's part of it.
• 31:55
  He has his own company too. So we work together, you know,
• 31:58
  and then we just hire like I got my cousin who's another
• 32:00
  contractor. So it's like I'm trying to avoid
• 32:02
  the employee side of things. OK, cool.
• 32:04
  Especially in. That's a good, that's a good
• 32:07
  distinction to make there, that you, you know, do your own
• 32:10
  thing. Totally.
• 32:11
  Yeah, Yeah. You're not just working for Ray
• 32:13
  back. No.
• 32:15
  No, no shade on grey back. A little shade on grey back.
• 32:19
  OK, a little bit or maybe? I know some great grey back
• 32:21
  guys. Cool.
• 32:23
  Yeah, I was curious about that. Yeah, yeah, I know.
• 32:26
  It's pretty wild. I've been kind of like pulling
• 32:28
  myself back, you know, because I'm getting to the point of my
• 32:31
  life where it's this lifestyle of the the breath work and the
• 32:33
  sauna and the cold exposure and the meditation and all these
• 32:36
  things. It's it's nothing but health and
• 32:37
  pure health and Wellness, you know, And then and then I go to
• 32:40
  this side and last year, I mean, I almost died.
• 32:41
  I got hit by the tree last year and we went to the hospital and
• 32:45
  I don't and I lost like 8 hours of my life I have I don't
• 32:47
  remember any of it. Well, wow.
• 32:49
  And yeah. So maybe that was a little bit
• 32:51
  of a wake up call. I mean, it's a little bit I've
• 32:53
  been calling it in for the past few years, but and I haven't
• 32:57
  ever got injured on the fire this.
• 32:58
  You've been calling in a near death experience, or you've been
• 33:01
  calling in stepping away from firefighting.
• 33:04
  Well, like staying in in the sands, but stepping away from
• 33:07
  being so intense into it and like, and, and just calling more
• 33:10
  of this lifestyle that I want. You know, when I lived in Maui,
• 33:13
  that gave me the experience of living in a tropical
• 33:16
  environment. I just wasn't in a good place in
• 33:18
  my life. But I know what I know that
• 33:20
  feeling. I did a lot of free diving, a
• 33:21
  lot of scuba diving. And so when I close my eyes and
• 33:24
  I look at my future and I, or what it feels like, what my
• 33:27
  future feels like, I mean board shorts and then no, no shoes
• 33:31
  sounds pretty good to me. And then like the, the travel, I
• 33:35
  love traveling and I love diving into the breath and, and the
• 33:39
  cold and the heat and then looking at the, the science
• 33:42
  behind it all and the benefits and physiologically what's
• 33:44
  happening inside the body and everything like we have, we are
• 33:47
  the greatest known chemist. We have the greatest known
• 33:49
  pharmacy inside of us, and they've been finding and
• 33:53
  publishing all this stuff. So it's not pseudoscience
• 33:56
  anymore. It's like this is what's
• 33:57
  happening. You're producing these
• 33:59
  endocannabinoids, these opioids, these benzodiazepines.
• 34:02
  Like your body is literally producing this stuff during cold
• 34:07
  exposure, during breath work practices, and during
• 34:09
  meditation. And these are things that people
• 34:11
  would otherwise be going and spending hundreds of dollars at
• 34:15
  a pharmacy for, but they are already.
• 34:17
  And having a ton of side effects and numbing yourself out from
• 34:22
  the world and all the BS that comes with that.
• 34:25
  Yeah. And but you could get addicted
• 34:27
  to that through your own body's production of it too,
• 34:30
  potentially. Or is.
• 34:32
  I guess addiction is a little bit different.
• 34:34
  Yeah, yeah, totally. Obsession or dedication versus.
• 34:38
  Repetition and yeah. And it's, and it's, it's good
• 34:40
  things. It's like calling in.
• 34:42
  It's, it's, it's tapping into your heart.
• 34:44
  You know, it's having that heart brain coherence to be relaxed in
• 34:47
  the heart and awake in the brain.
• 34:49
  And when you can come into this place and into this present
• 34:53
  state, you know, that's where we that's where we can create from.
• 34:55
  And we're in a much more regulated state.
• 34:57
  So we don't react on an emotions in a sense, you know, it's like
• 35:02
  we're a lot more grounded to what's coming in life and what's
• 35:05
  happening in front of us and around us.
• 35:08
  Getting more in touch with who we are as part of the universe,
• 35:17
  Universal Connections and. Yeah, when I feel like we all
• 35:20
  have that, like that sense or that calling of something more,
• 35:24
  something greater than ourselves and, and, and a lot of times
• 35:28
  it's just like, oh, OK, you know, but I couldn't do that
• 35:30
  because I got to have this and this and that.
• 35:33
  But there's always that calling there and always that feeling of
• 35:36
  more and I. So why are we here?
• 35:40
  Question. Yeah, yeah, kind of why are we
• 35:41
  here and, and what else is there?
• 35:43
  And this, like this can't be it. I mean, I look up at the stars
• 35:46
  and I and I know that this isn't it.
• 35:48
  And so and I'm in a position in my life that has led me to to
• 35:52
  explore that. And I want to continue to dive
• 35:55
  down that rabbit hole and explore that.
• 35:57
  The more that I do that, the more that I realize that this
• 36:00
  what we see and what we sense, is just a fraction of what there
• 36:03
  really is. Absolutely.
• 36:05
  I, I think I became first aware of that of that our, our plane
• 36:10
  of existence and awareness is limited just in observing how
• 36:15
  like dogs especially and other animals interact with nature and
• 36:21
  that just that they can hear things that we can't hear and
• 36:24
  see things that we can't hear. That tells me that there is
• 36:27
  there are things in existence on the spectrum that are beyond our
• 36:31
  comprehension. It doesn't mean that they don't
• 36:33
  exist, They're just in part of the spectrum that we don't have
• 36:36
  the access to. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 36:39
  And I think that, you know, it's, it's touching closer to
• 36:42
  consciousness or to source, the, the more that we can turn
• 36:47
  inward. And I feel like the, the like
• 36:50
  that's the greatest part of what I've learned is like the more
• 36:53
  that I come into connection with myself, the greater my
• 36:56
  environment is around me. And then the synchronicities and
• 37:00
  the opportunities that present themselves to me in my life,
• 37:04
  they're out there a fullest when I'm like really connected and
• 37:09
  I'm really diving into the practice and staying consistent
• 37:11
  with it. And my health is like taking on
• 37:14
  some really beautiful roles, too.
• 37:17
  Yeah. Can you say more about that?
• 37:19
  Yeah, so I mean, I've definitely damaged my body in many ways,
• 37:25
  from a lot of motorcycle accidents to being young and
• 37:27
  reckless and doing silly things and, and doing the fires and all
• 37:31
  the all that stuff. My most recent experience with
• 37:35
  my left shoulder was that it is like been how I've had three
• 37:38
  surgeries on it for I was did it was an MMA like martial arts for
• 37:41
  seven years and did a lot of damage there.
• 37:44
  And I had two opinions. I got one in Medford and one up
• 37:48
  and drove up to Roseburg for another one.
• 37:50
  And they're saying that my shoulder is bone on bone,
• 37:52
  there's no cartilage left and that it's like smoked, you know,
• 37:55
  and that the only option is a complete shoulder replacement,
• 38:00
  which is where they cut your entire bicep muscle off and then
• 38:04
  to open it up. And then they take your about
• 38:06
  this much of your arm, your bone, and they cut it off.
• 38:10
  And then they put like a fake socket and a fake ball on and,
• 38:13
  and then they reconnect everything.
• 38:15
  And you got to like not move for six weeks because if this tears
• 38:19
  it, it ruins it ruins the chance of your shoulder healing.
• 38:21
  And then, but then it's like, you only have, it's good for 10
• 38:25
  years, you know, and then you have to get a reversal.
• 38:28
  And so it's going to be this like lifelong process of
• 38:30
  surgeries And, and I just, you know, I thought about it, I was
• 38:35
  going to do it and I was really like, man, what do I do?
• 38:37
  And then I just decided not to do it and decided to, to kill
• 38:41
  myself and to figure this out and to, to dive into and
• 38:44
  whatever I've been doing, you know, the meditations and really
• 38:48
  getting attentional on my shoulder.
• 38:49
  It's been feeling better than it has in many years, you know, and
• 38:53
  I haven't went back in and had any.
• 38:55
  Any comparative analysis? Analysis yeah, but I know that I
• 38:59
  know some things are happening inside of it.
• 39:01
  My physical routine has gotten really good and, and just my
• 39:05
  overall health from from the sauna and from the cold plunges
• 39:08
  and the breath work and stuff. It's my life is my health is
• 39:12
  really well taken care of. Yeah.
• 39:15
  Physical and mental. Totally, Yeah, I think, yeah.
• 39:18
  I mean, the mental 1 is like, that's the big part.
• 39:20
  If you started cleaning up the mental landscape, you know, then
• 39:23
  like then everything else will come from that.
• 39:26
  Yeah. But it all starts with those
• 39:29
  little practices in the morning and, and then the movement and
• 39:32
  getting the body moving and, and breathing and, and feeling and
• 39:35
  connecting. That's what I do a lot up here.
• 39:38
  I mean, this mountain has been such a, an experience of for me
• 39:41
  in my life. I've went through many breakups
• 39:43
  with women throughout the past, you know, 12 to 15 years.
• 39:48
  And I've had, you know, I owned a restaurant and just all kinds
• 39:51
  of things in life, just life, you know, and like this
• 39:54
  mountain, I, I continue to run up and I've spread my dad's
• 39:57
  ashes up here. And, and every time I come up
• 40:01
  here, I get, I run up to the top and I'm just pouring sweat and
• 40:04
  heavy breathing. And then I stand at the edge and
• 40:06
  I close my eyes and I, I give gratitude to the, to the wind
• 40:09
  and the ground and, and the, all the elements.
• 40:12
  And every time that I, that I'm like feeling that gratitude for
• 40:15
  the wind, it comes up just like it kind of is now.
• 40:18
  And it just blows on my face. And that's like, it just, it's
• 40:21
  just telling me that that I'm connected to something greater
• 40:24
  than myself and that there's something special happening
• 40:28
  here. So that, you know, that
• 40:31
  translates into another part of my life of ceremony and men's
• 40:34
  work. I've been really for the past
• 40:37
  three years I've been diving into a lot of men's work.
• 40:40
  What does that look like? It's with a group called the
• 40:42
  Sacred Sons. They're they're a global group
• 40:46
  now all over the world. And I first experienced them in
• 40:49
  Arizona. I went to this EMX.
• 40:50
  It was embody the masculine experience in Arizona and it was
• 40:53
  in Cochise, AZ in the desert under some native lands.
• 40:58
  And this is where you like, there's a lot of different
• 41:01
  experiences to it, but it's really tuning into yourself,
• 41:04
  tapping into your to the feminine side of yourself, which
• 41:06
  for me was a little more of the unknown.
• 41:09
  And then and then the masculine, which was very known because
• 41:11
  that was kind of my life is to to be a masculine man.
• 41:15
  And so you get into mutual combat with other men with
• 41:17
  boxing gloves, but you also get into areas where you're where
• 41:21
  you're learning to feel and to cry and to let out emotion.
• 41:24
  And so I had a really good experience with them and I
• 41:27
  joined their leadership training.
• 41:28
  And I've just kind of started following that path since then
• 41:33
  and it's led to me starting to host.
• 41:34
  Do they have a youth program? Really.
• 41:37
  Yeah. Cool.
• 41:38
  They do. They got the the sons youth,
• 41:39
  yeah, which is a really, really cool program.
• 41:42
  And that's for, yeah, teenagers and stuff.
• 41:45
  Cool. Interesting to my son.
• 41:47
  Totally. Yeah, my boys.
• 41:49
  I would love my boys to get into that too.
• 41:50
  You know, there's experience in that.
• 41:53
  It's such a healthy way to, to learn more about yourself, to
• 41:57
  find your edges, you know, and then to, to lean into that
• 42:01
  discomfort. But then also, you know, really
• 42:04
  shape how you want to show up in the world and, and who you want
• 42:09
  to be. And then finding those those
• 42:11
  shadows and working on those shadows as well.
• 42:14
  Not just being what people have told you you are, or what
• 42:18
  stories you've created in your own mind.
• 42:20
  Exactly when the stories, yeah, that's, you know, the stories in
• 42:23
  our mind. I mean, I can have an event that
• 42:25
  happened when I was a teenager and I can tell you that event
• 42:28
  right now, but there's probably going to be, you know, at least
• 42:31
  50% of that's going to be, you know, not real because we it
• 42:36
  gets elaborated. It's been proven over time, you
• 42:38
  know, that that event isn't as bad as we thought it was.
• 42:41
  You know, we just, yeah. So I think that's the big part
• 42:45
  is like letting go of the story, you know, and, and really just
• 42:52
  feeling into what that emotion is and working through that
• 42:54
  emotion. That's where breath works so
• 42:57
  powerful. It's because psychotherapy, top
• 42:59
  down therapy, you have to consciously think about the
• 43:01
  things that happened in your life that are bothering you,
• 43:03
  whatever those traumatic events are.
• 43:05
  And breath work is like a bottom up somatic experience.
• 43:08
  And so you don't, you don't have to relive your past traumas.
• 43:12
  You just got to have the capacity to feel, they say the
• 43:14
  healings and the feelings. So we bring up the emotions
• 43:17
  through as we're getting into these heavy breathing rounds.
• 43:20
  And then we we let it out with a cathartic release, the scream or
• 43:24
  yell or shout or whatever it may be, and we released the energy
• 43:27
  from the body. Yeah, my friend Danielle said
• 43:29
  that she did a retreat up in Ashland, some breath work and
• 43:34
  cold exposure girls summit thing.
• 43:38
  And she said that, oh, girl, it was like once you could breathe
• 43:43
  like that, she was like, it was so trippy.
• 43:45
  I was like tripping. Like I was having like the
• 43:48
  craziest. Like it was the craziest high
• 43:51
  weird. Like not weird in a bad sense,
• 43:53
  but just, you know, not familiar body antibody.
• 43:56
  Yeah, I was like, that's cool. It's been related a lot to like
• 43:59
  psychedelics. They were creating this within.
• 44:01
  I did a breath work journey for a lady who was an ayahuasca
• 44:05
  facilitator for 20 years. Well, and so she has been around
• 44:09
  the plant medicine for a very long time.
• 44:10
  And when we came out of that journey, she came after class
• 44:13
  and she like, grabbed me and she's like, Calvin, what was
• 44:15
  that? What did you spike the water
• 44:18
  with? I.
• 44:19
  Was like, what do you mean? And she's like, I've been
• 44:21
  facilitating and, and you know, diving into ayahuasca, the plant
• 44:25
  medicine for 20 years and I've never went that deep in a
• 44:28
  journey. And it but it was all within
• 44:31
  her. And so her reflection on that
• 44:33
  was that the mother, Ayah, was telling her that it wasn't like
• 44:35
  a sustainable thing, you know, to keep coming back to the
• 44:38
  everything that she needed was within her.
• 44:41
  And so many people have these experiences.
• 44:43
  You know, I see it every time I facilitate a breath work class.
• 44:47
  You know, people have these experiences where they're just
• 44:49
  like, Oh my God. You know, I had a buddy of mine
• 44:54
  that I hadn't seen in a very long time come to a breath work
• 44:56
  class. And and he said that he he was
• 45:01
  like, yeah, he was blown away. He just didn't know what
• 45:03
  happened. He's like you calling me and
• 45:05
  what happened? What happened?
• 45:06
  He said that he, you know, could see himself.
• 45:09
  He was looking over himself, laying down on the floor in the
• 45:11
  breathwork class, breathing, and that for the first time in his
• 45:14
  life, he was able to look at himself and forgive himself.
• 45:17
  And it was pretty wild. Yeah.
• 45:19
  I need that, yeah. You do need that.
• 45:23
  A few things. Yeah, Heather sold.
• 45:26
  Well, I've been. Yeah, totally.
• 45:28
  I think we people often rely on external.
• 45:32
  Yeah, I've never done things. Hallucinogens.
• 45:35
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 45:36
  I don't even like, I know my mom kind of guilted me out of it as
• 45:40
  like, you know, it's scaring me away as like a teenager.
• 45:42
  She's like, don't do that because she had some bad
• 45:45
  tripping herself and I think and she watched her friend have a
• 45:50
  really gnarly one one time. And so she was like, don't do
• 45:53
  that. And it's like scared me.
• 45:54
  So I never got, I never tapped in, but like, I don't know.
• 45:58
  It's something that I've wanted to do, Yeah.
• 46:00
  But. To experience the psychedelic or
• 46:03
  to experience the the feeling of like tapping into higher
• 46:08
  consciousness or other planes of being.
• 46:10
  Yeah, That I don't necessarily want to do like any substance
• 46:15
  just because because of my heart problem, my heart issue, I've
• 46:19
  I've always been really nervous about that, but like breath is
• 46:22
  like. We do already do that every day
• 46:26
  all the. Time, you know, I don't know.
• 46:28
  So that's just my little take on that.
• 46:30
  Yeah, totally. Yeah, it's, it's, it's really
• 46:33
  powerful once you experience it, you know, and, and you're when
• 46:36
  you're in an environment where you feel safe, you're laying
• 46:39
  down. So you know that if you were to
• 46:41
  pass out, you know, from breathing like you're going to
• 46:45
  wake up on the floor and you're going to be you're fine, you're
• 46:47
  OK. You're not standing up.
• 46:48
  You're not doing it water. You're not going to hit your
• 46:50
  head. Yeah.
• 46:51
  So you're like in a totally safe place and, and it's not
• 46:54
  something where, you know, some psychedelics are plant
• 46:57
  medicines. It's like you take that and then
• 46:59
  you're you're, you're going for the ride.
• 47:01
  No matter what the ride is, you're going for it.
• 47:03
  And. Yeah.
• 47:03
  There's no way to get off. Yeah, you got to wait until it
• 47:06
  wears itself out, but with your breath it's like you got 1 foot
• 47:09
  on the gas, 1 foot on the brake. If you want to go deeper, you
• 47:11
  breathe deeper. If it gets to be too
• 47:12
  overwhelming, slow your breathing down, come back into
• 47:15
  your body and then jump back in. So it's definitely like a really
• 47:19
  safe experience and there's a lot of fun things.
• 47:23
  So what I'm playing with now is I'm creating a lot of things
• 47:26
  with sound, vibration, breath and visualization in my
• 47:31
  breathing practices. So, you know, a lot of the, the
• 47:36
  facilitators and, and the leaders that I've looked up to
• 47:38
  and went to and then learn from, they often talk about the pineal
• 47:43
  gland, you know, as like as source.
• 47:46
  And it's like the place where the big mystical experiences can
• 47:50
  happen. And so Joe talks a lot about,
• 47:53
  you know, this, this breath this way to lift your perineum, your
• 47:57
  sexual organs up and to like pull the cerebral spinal fluid
• 48:00
  up your spine and into the pineal gland and have it
• 48:04
  compressed on that pineal gland. And then you release DMT and all
• 48:07
  of these wild things. So I've been playing with, you
• 48:10
  know, some some Wim Hof style of breathing practices where we
• 48:14
  come into some, some heavy breathing with some breath
• 48:16
  holds, but then we get into some like slower visualization of, of
• 48:20
  gratitude and abundance. This episode is heating up and
• 48:23
  this is your official sign to stop white knuckling life.
• 48:26
  If you've ever wanted to sit in a cedar sauna, breathe deep and
• 48:30
  reset your entire soul after a long day out adventuring, or
• 48:35
  even just a long day living, listen up.
• 48:38
  Calvin and the Go Wildly podcast have teamed up to give our
• 48:41
  wildly wonders something extra special.
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  blossoming community Calvin is building here in Southern
• 48:50
  Oregon. And be and use code.
• 48:53
  Go wildly for 20% off your session.
• 48:56
  That makes it just $30.00 for 30 minutes or $39.00 for 45
• 49:01
  minutes. And the 1st 10 redemptions also
• 49:04
  receive a free mini breath work session before you even enter
• 49:08
  the sauna. Or you could do it after,
• 49:09
  actually, whichever your little heart's desire.
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  Plus, Calvin is donating $5 per redeemed booking to the Go Outly
• 49:17
  Podcast Fund for the 1st 50 redemptions.
• 49:21
  So you're taking care of your nervous system and supporting
• 49:24
  your favorite little adventure podcast at the same time.
• 49:27
  Go sweat it out. Go breathe it in.
• 49:30
  Go reset. And as always, go wildly.
• 49:33
  No, I don't type. I have worked myself away from
• 49:37
  having anxiety about it, but like, I've worked through that
• 49:40
  and that like fear, you know? Totally.
• 49:43
  But is that OK? Was that how I had it?
• 49:47
  I don't know. I mean I.
• 49:49
  Had to. Shift it slightly to put the
• 49:52
  battery in but. Let me check, yeah.
• 49:56
  You can look at it, make sure we still look good there we.
• 50:09
  Go and I might have to drop and pull this off real quick.
• 50:12
  I think this thing's ready to go.
• 50:15
  Yeah, yeah, it warms. Up.
• 50:18
  It's nice. I mean, I'm, I'm not
• 50:21
  complaining, right? And I'd love.
• 50:25
  Some, some snow. I think we would all have a
• 50:28
  little snow, yeah. I'd rather sun than fog, as much
• 50:31
  as I do love the blanket of fog for the energy that comes with
• 50:36
  that. But if it's going to be cold.
• 50:39
  Oops. Just give us some snow.
• 50:41
  Please 2 There's still a little bit of hope.
• 50:46
  Yes. Oh yeah, we had.
• 50:47
  February we had a time. Exactly.
• 50:49
  Yeah. We also had a time of snow prior
• 50:52
  to this. Yeah.
• 50:52
  So yeah. It's it's a little nerve
• 50:55
  wracking and also like I accept the cycle and it will be what it
• 51:01
  will be. And I remember having I remember
• 51:04
  snowboarding in April one time. Wow.
• 51:07
  So that's pretty sweet. Yeah, Yeah.
• 51:09
  Yeah, like the snow lasted that long and like still had some
• 51:12
  snowfall, maybe late mid March. So anything can happen.
• 51:18
  Anything. Is possible?
• 51:19
  That's right. In a world of infinite
• 51:21
  possibilities, that possibility does exist, although I think
• 51:23
  it's very rare this year. It's.
• 51:25
  Still a possibility. It might be just a dry year.
• 51:27
  Hopefully that I feel like we go in like there's we'll have a
• 51:30
  drier year and then and then, yeah, the last two winters I
• 51:34
  felt like we got great snowfall, precipitation, but.
• 51:39
  Yeah. This is the one where I think
• 51:40
  we're not getting that. So yeah, just cycles.
• 51:44
  Yeah, cycles just be what it is and find other ways to recreate
• 51:49
  and prepare for the storms and know that, well, we've done it
• 51:55
  before. Exactly.
• 51:56
  We have the tools. It's the what you had said
• 52:01
  about, like it already being within us has been a very
• 52:07
  reoccurring message for me over the last six months of
• 52:10
  everything, everything. You're already OK.
• 52:13
  It's already inside of you. You just have to believe it and
• 52:17
  tap into it and you don't really need anything external.
• 52:20
  If you believe it, it will be. You're already OK.
• 52:24
  Absolutely, and that kind of touches on like autonomy and
• 52:27
  fill in our own cup. You know, it's like when we can
• 52:29
  fill our own cup and we have that autonomy within us, It's
• 52:33
  like no matter what happens, we know we got ourselves.
• 52:35
  So we're going to be good. But not saying that I found
• 52:39
  myself in that position to sometimes where I go to that a
• 52:42
  little to the extreme. And it's like that's where I
• 52:45
  really want to call in the community.
• 52:46
  And I see the value in community.
• 52:48
  And that's why I'm creating the things that I'm creating this
• 52:50
  to, to have a good, a good community around me.
• 52:56
  Yeah. I feel like I've been doing the
• 52:57
  opposite. Rejecting community.
• 53:00
  No, just like I've been like reigniting my spiritualness with
• 53:07
  God and Jesus actually. And I was atheist for almost 20
• 53:12
  years. Oh wow.
• 53:14
  And then I just recently got back into some.
• 53:17
  Amazing. Spiritual because I was like
• 53:20
  very, I don't know, I was spiritual before in a sense too,
• 53:26
  but just different. I'm just, I don't know, it's
• 53:28
  just I've been exploring this other realm and it's been cool.
• 53:32
  It's been great little. Yeah.
• 53:34
  Say more. Say more about it.
• 53:36
  Yeah. Well, I just, I've been, I felt
• 53:39
  like I've, I don't know, it's still something I'm trying to
• 53:43
  search for the words for just because I identified with like
• 53:48
  agnostic atheism for a really long time or just like
• 53:51
  spiritualness in like a, you know, all everything.
• 53:56
  And not that I'd, I mean, I still have a lot of that, but
• 54:01
  it's, yeah, I don't know. I just, I felt like I was being
• 54:05
  called, like I kept praying to my grandma and then my grandma
• 54:11
  literally came over me one day and was like, oh, why are you
• 54:13
  praying to me? Like God is there, you can pray
• 54:16
  to him too. And then it just kind of
• 54:18
  awakened my like, like because I grew up in a Christian, like
• 54:24
  going to church and not on Sundays, more of a youth group
• 54:27
  style. And yeah, so I'm just kind of re
• 54:32
  exploring that and but I feel like I needed that.
• 54:34
  I don't know. And it's been very powerful and
• 54:37
  it's been very fulfilling. And I don't know, something that
• 54:42
  I was lacking. And my, I feel like my life has
• 54:44
  gotten like infinitely better to give my worries away.
• 54:52
  Like when I pray about it, I'm just like, I take everything.
• 54:56
  I stuff it in this little box like my worries, my anxiety, my
• 55:00
  just fear. I put it all in this box and I
• 55:03
  just like while I pray, I just like give it to God and he takes
• 55:08
  care of it and I don't hold on to it anymore.
• 55:09
  I'm not holding that box anymore.
• 55:12
  So I guess I needed some sort of a something and I've decided to,
• 55:18
  I don't know, just I don't know. It's just like, I don't even
• 55:23
  know how to explain it. Like I said, for somebody that
• 55:26
  like was just so like agnostic for so long and and very much
• 55:31
  like atheist, it just, it's hard for me to even like be like, oh,
• 55:36
  I'm like reading the Bible now and Oh my gosh, the teachings is
• 55:39
  just like wonderful. Like do I think that a lot of
• 55:42
  stuff in there is like really old and it's like dated in that
• 55:46
  like because it was written a really long time ago.
• 55:49
  But like these core teachings are just really like really
• 55:53
  great. And if more people lived,
• 55:55
  however, like you people I know for like people can do that
• 55:59
  without having like the book. But like it's wonderful.
• 56:02
  It's great. It's still.
• 56:03
  Following some kind of teaching that connects you to a bit to a
• 56:08
  greater source and source, yeah. That's what it is, yeah.
• 56:11
  It's a connection to ourselves and then the connection to
• 56:13
  source. Yeah.
• 56:14
  And I think that that's the beauty of this life is the
• 56:17
  choice to to know that we don't have to be one way.
• 56:22
  And and that's evolution in chapters of life, right?
• 56:24
  And like we switched. Yeah, I definitely, I just had a
• 56:28
  moment to where a friend of mine, I have to touch on this
• 56:31
  because I thought it was like terrible, but she moved in with
• 56:36
  her boyfriend. She's younger and I guess she,
• 56:40
  they're really involved with the church and the church that I
• 56:45
  actually go to too. And somebody like, they're like,
• 56:48
  yeah, we're not going to be going too much anymore to that
• 56:50
  church. They, like, split their time
• 56:52
  between two places because somebody made a comment and,
• 56:56
  like, disliked the fact that it was a sin to live with your
• 56:59
  boyfriend. And I'm just like, dude, isn't
• 57:01
  that what we're all going here for?
• 57:02
  Is like we're fucking sinners. Yeah.
• 57:05
  Nobody's perfect, come on. I just wanted to be like, who
• 57:08
  was that? Like, hello.
• 57:11
  And that's what that's the thing.
• 57:14
  Like it's just like, that's what I can't get behind is like, all
• 57:17
  of a sudden you have to like live this certain way.
• 57:20
  And it's like, but that contradicts the teaching, like,
• 57:23
  and the whole premise of Jesus died on the cross for our sins
• 57:27
  because he knows that we're like God knew that we're like
• 57:30
  mistake, like we're sinners, like we're we make mistakes, we
• 57:33
  make intentional mistakes, we make actual accidents.
• 57:37
  We are just totally a problem species.
• 57:41
  Like that was that's the whole teaching that you're going here
• 57:43
  for. And that's kind of like that's
• 57:46
  where I get the block. That's where I have a block with
• 57:48
  it with like church and religion is like there is that some
• 57:55
  people are going for the wrong reasons or just like lay so much
• 57:58
  judgement and like I don't know, they get so like virtuous.
• 58:04
  Totally the high horse, yeah. Yeah, and I'm just like, dude.
• 58:09
  Versus acceptance and forgiveness and.
• 58:12
  We're going to strive to be real awesome, kind, amazing people
• 58:16
  and like, live in the confines of like making good choices and
• 58:20
  positivity and stuff. But like, shit happens.
• 58:24
  Shit happens all the time. You know so.
• 58:26
  And nobody's perfect. And if you do look at like, you
• 58:30
  know, Jesus is a dude that lived that was like a really, you
• 58:34
  know, cool person that was kind and did all the good things.
• 58:37
  It's like he, he was the one talking to all the like he was
• 58:41
  friends with all the people that like had all this in.
• 58:43
  Like he was very open minded. Like that's what it's all about.
• 58:47
  It's like open minded and like, I don't know, it's just like, so
• 58:51
  I get I have a little bit coming from that place of like, but
• 58:55
  wait a minute guys. And I think there's a lot of
• 58:58
  different, you know, places for church too, you know, like
• 59:03
  there's like this to me is could be a church.
• 59:06
  Oh, totally. Yeah.
• 59:07
  Yeah. And you can, you can read the
• 59:08
  Bible or whatever it is that you do to get closer to source.
• 59:11
  But I definitely see that side of it too, with stepping in the
• 59:15
  doors of a church where it's like there is that that
• 59:17
  judgement that as much as they say come as you are, it's like
• 59:20
  with with this. Yeah, and I'm just like.
• 59:23
  Come as you are, but be ready to change.
• 59:25
  Yeah, come. As you are, but don't do this,
• 59:27
  this and that, yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
• 59:29
  It's just so, so sometimes I battle with that a little bit
• 59:32
  with my own like what just going to church and seeing that side
• 59:36
  of it. Like I feel like if you just,
• 59:38
  you know, treat this as your church and you are still like
• 59:41
  within, I don't know. It's just see, I'm struggling to
• 59:45
  find the words because it's like this constantly contradicting
• 59:49
  and I'm just like, not in this, not the see.
• 59:52
  I don't even know. Yeah, it's, I think it's great
• 59:55
  that you're exploring that and that you dove into something
• 59:58
  that you have a history and a familiarity with, but from a new
• 1:00:02
  life perspective and a new place in your life and saying what
• 1:00:06
  what is here and what can I get out of this?
• 1:00:09
  And it's all up to you to decide.
• 1:00:11
  I'm going to take this and I'm going to leave what what doesn't
• 1:00:14
  work? What doesn't resonate with me?
• 1:00:16
  And you don't have to stay at that one church forever.
• 1:00:19
  You can try different churches. You can.
• 1:00:22
  Would like, I'm also going to try to, you know, lead by
• 1:00:28
  example. My kids, you know, it's like I
• 1:00:31
  grew up under that framework and I felt like it taught me, you
• 1:00:34
  know, morality and, you know, living as a good person in ways
• 1:00:39
  and stuff. And so I want them to know right
• 1:00:42
  and wrong and like just like good human skills and I know
• 1:00:45
  they can get that via other and just like me being a good person
• 1:00:48
  and but I want to show them and like, show them community within
• 1:00:51
  it and like, I don't know. Yeah, the good, the good parts
• 1:00:54
  of it and the good sides of it. And it's I had so much mixture
• 1:00:57
  and all of that. I had really good experiences
• 1:01:00
  with all like my youth groups and yeah, going to like the
• 1:01:02
  church camps and stuff. Like it was like core memories.
• 1:01:05
  Yeah, those are memories that, yeah, they'll last a lifetime.
• 1:01:07
  Yeah, and it was all you're like good, like a good blanket, you
• 1:01:12
  know? It's like we're doing good shit.
• 1:01:14
  I don't know. It's like, I don't know.
• 1:01:17
  Yeah, letting kids be kids while they have the opportunity to
• 1:01:19
  stay kids, you know, and have those memories and experiences.
• 1:01:23
  I just, I don't know if I'd necessarily want that on the
• 1:01:26
  pod, though, we try to stay pretty neutral, yeah.
• 1:01:31
  Yeah, all with speaking about things like that just.
• 1:01:33
  Really, that's your experience and I don't know, it's authentic
• 1:01:38
  to you and you're navigating it and learning it and learning.
• 1:01:41
  It'll probably come up in a future episode again, and we'll
• 1:01:43
  get to look back on the growth and creations that you found in
• 1:01:49
  it. And maybe in a future episode,
• 1:01:51
  you'll be able to articulate your feelings behind it even
• 1:01:54
  more. And we'll see.
• 1:01:55
  We'll be able to see that. And I think that that's a really
• 1:01:58
  cool like measuring blanks. Theory.
• 1:02:00
  It's like I'm just putting things in the box and shipping
• 1:02:03
  it out. Yeah, I think that's a really
• 1:02:04
  beautiful way because that that ties back to a lot of the
• 1:02:07
  teachings that I've had with trauma.
• 1:02:09
  And I've, you know, like I said, I've went and then spend a lot
• 1:02:12
  of time with a guy named Peter Levine, who's a doctor on trauma
• 1:02:14
  healing and stuff. And, you know, they look at
• 1:02:18
  trauma is like a sympathetic shock to the nervous system.
• 1:02:21
  So it's like a lightning strike inside our nervous system where
• 1:02:24
  it's like, and we take that shock and we hold it in our
• 1:02:27
  bodies. And when we continue to hold
• 1:02:30
  that in our bodies, it turns into disease, turns into like
• 1:02:33
  all these different kinds of, yeah, exactly.
• 1:02:35
  All this shit, you know, all this cancer and autoimmune and
• 1:02:39
  like just all these things, you know.
• 1:02:40
  So he kind of wrote a book and his theory was like based on
• 1:02:46
  animals. And it was if you were to, you
• 1:02:48
  know, take like a lion chase and a gazelle and it comes like this
• 1:02:52
  close to death, death and has that near death experience,
• 1:02:54
  maybe even gets like struck but escapes away.
• 1:02:57
  The first thing the animal does is it shakes and tremors and
• 1:03:00
  knocks that trauma off, then goes back to grazing like
• 1:03:02
  nothing happens. And what we we don't know how to
• 1:03:05
  let it go though. Yeah.
• 1:03:06
  Because they can't stop living. No, they just shake it off, and
• 1:03:09
  that's what animals do. They know how to live, let it
• 1:03:10
  go, and then they go back like as if nothing happened and we
• 1:03:13
  hold it on, hold on to it, you know.
• 1:03:15
  And so that's where like with the breath work is those those
• 1:03:18
  releases that we have is we're releasing that energy and we're
• 1:03:21
  creating space in our bodies for new things that come into our
• 1:03:23
  lives. And that somatic movement, like
• 1:03:25
  we talked about on we our last week, we interviewed a guy named
• 1:03:31
  Jesse Newell and he's a martial arts coach and we were talking
• 1:03:34
  about the somatic practice of moving trauma and anger through
• 1:03:39
  your body. That like journaling and therapy
• 1:03:43
  can only do so much, but actually having a physical
• 1:03:46
  practice that moves all of that out intentionally is is part of
• 1:03:53
  holistic healing and and Wellness to yeah to shake off
• 1:03:59
  that that trauma and that experience.
• 1:04:01
  Otherwise it's going to be held. It's.
• 1:04:03
  Going to be held in the body and then when there's, you know, Joe
• 1:04:06
  explained that, you know, the hormones of stress alone, not as
• 1:04:10
  trauma, just stress down regulate genes and cause
• 1:04:13
  disease. You know, so if you compound
• 1:04:15
  that with traumatic events in your life, think about what's
• 1:04:18
  happening inside your body. You know, it's like this storm
• 1:04:21
  inside there and it's just so dysregulated, you know, and
• 1:04:24
  that's where we where we come back into connection with
• 1:04:27
  ourselves and we we, we breathe into this and we feel we feel
• 1:04:30
  whatever that shit is that's coming up.
• 1:04:32
  We bring it to the surface. We don't stuff it down anymore.
• 1:04:34
  We just bring it up and then we take a deep breath in and we
• 1:04:37
  hold and we squeeze and we're just feeling viscerally feeling
• 1:04:40
  it. And then on my account, we let
• 1:04:41
  it out and it's just like this, the big release, you know, it's
• 1:04:44
  a huge release. And then we come into some
• 1:04:45
  visualization of of gratitude or abundance.
• 1:04:48
  I have to have the visualization.
• 1:04:50
  Yeah. I feel like that helps so much.
• 1:04:53
  Yeah. Yeah, it reframes.
• 1:04:56
  Well, it's, it's reprogramming, Yeah, because you can literally
• 1:04:59
  feel. It's like, you know, you close
• 1:05:00
  your eyes and you're kind of more in a Theta state at this
• 1:05:04
  point. So you're really receptive to
• 1:05:05
  information. And it's like, you know, think
• 1:05:08
  back of a time in your life. It could be a childhood memory
• 1:05:12
  or it could be right here, right now, you know, to where you felt
• 1:05:15
  the most free or you felt gratitude or you felt love.
• 1:05:18
  And so you just, you feel that feeling as if it's there.
• 1:05:21
  You know, what are the colors? What's the taste?
• 1:05:22
  What's the smell? What is it like?
• 1:05:23
  What does it feel like? Yeah, you know.
• 1:05:25
  And then we bring that in. And then we take a slow, deep
• 1:05:27
  breath in and we we hold that in our bodies.
• 1:05:30
  I did this guided meditation off of YouTube one time for like
• 1:05:34
  self love and I wish I could find it but because I would do
• 1:05:39
  it more. I don't know how I lost it, but
• 1:05:42
  I found it some I I found it like a few months later too and
• 1:05:45
  then I lost it again. Anyway, that literally is such a
• 1:05:50
  core memory meditation. I was like laying in bed just
• 1:05:53
  before, you know, bedtime and I just wanted to do something.
• 1:05:57
  I put a little thingy on and it was like this guided meditation
• 1:06:01
  where they like took me out of my body and like, but it was
• 1:06:05
  like me as a little girl that like, and but I was also me
• 1:06:14
  adult and it was just like, would you so like they separated
• 1:06:19
  us right. And it, but would you, you know,
• 1:06:22
  say all the mean, harmful shit that you say, you know, about
• 1:06:27
  like all of those little things that come up like, Oh, I'm too
• 1:06:29
  fat. Oh, I'm, you know, like I don't
• 1:06:31
  like my skin or my hair or whatever.
• 1:06:33
  I'm a lazy. I'm a procrastinator.
• 1:06:34
  Or those and then, but would you say it to this this precious
• 1:06:39
  Angel of a child? And it was like, no, I would
• 1:06:43
  never say that to them, you know, like they're perfect,
• 1:06:47
  they're perfect. Like I would literally tell, you
• 1:06:49
  know, like you're perfect and it like totally like reset my brain
• 1:06:54
  chemistry. And then it was just like, then
• 1:06:57
  it went through the whole body like like affirmational, like I
• 1:07:00
  love my toes. I love like and it was just like
• 1:07:02
  it just reset set me. And I wish I could find it to do
• 1:07:06
  it more often because I feel like we need that reset every
• 1:07:09
  now and then. I bet you could find something
• 1:07:11
  similar to. That I could, yeah.
• 1:07:12
  But that was really powerful to like, look at myself like that.
• 1:07:15
  Totally as a child and you would.
• 1:07:17
  Never say that to them. I would never say that.
• 1:07:20
  Yeah, that's, that's the way I feel like the morning practices
• 1:07:25
  are really potent in that sense. You know, there was one that
• 1:07:27
  that I did for a while and I told a lot of people about and
• 1:07:30
  it was like this guy who had explained it, that the first
• 1:07:34
  thing when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do
• 1:07:36
  is walk into the bathroom before.
• 1:07:38
  I mean, I guess you can go to the bathroom if you really had
• 1:07:40
  to. But then you look in the mirror
• 1:07:42
  and you tell and you look at yourself in the mirror and then
• 1:07:44
  say I love you 10 times. Brush your teeth with your non
• 1:07:47
  dominant hem. Oh, I've heard, I've heard of.
• 1:07:49
  This practice and do like 20 breaths.
• 1:07:51
  Yeah. And he's like, if you do that
• 1:07:54
  for 30 days and and your life doesn't change, I'll give you
• 1:07:56
  $100 bill. And he said he never had to give
• 1:07:58
  out $100 bill because it just it just from there, it blossoms,
• 1:08:01
  you know, to other things. And you start saying maybe I
• 1:08:04
  love you, Tammy, look good. That there is something, you
• 1:08:06
  know, just keeps going. And then the breath turns into
• 1:08:09
  maybe I'll do a few push ups or sit ups or go on a longer walk.
• 1:08:12
  And then it's just everything starts to ripple out from that.
• 1:08:15
  I mean, that one meditation, really, I think I probably did
• 1:08:18
  it a couple times, but that was like so powerful.
• 1:08:22
  I vote you bring it back. I'm another one.
• 1:08:24
  Bring it. Back, Yeah, I mean, I'm down.
• 1:08:26
  I definitely, I feel like I've come a long ways from where I
• 1:08:30
  had like was before that. I don't know, like I've been
• 1:08:34
  been able to like get get off cringe mountain like care with.
• 1:08:38
  People anymore. Like why would I care like this
• 1:08:41
  body? Like I'm the fittest,
• 1:08:43
  beautifulest I'll ever be. A minute from now I'm going to
• 1:08:46
  be that much more old like SO. And that much more beautiful and
• 1:08:50
  fit, Yeah. Well, but it's enjoying like
• 1:08:52
  here right now. Yeah, yeah, I like that yeah.
• 1:08:55
  I think that's a great place to be because a lot of times too,
• 1:08:58
  you know, we, I've noticed within myself is like, if we're
• 1:09:01
  always looking forward to something, then we're not
• 1:09:03
  enjoying this moment now. And I think about that as like
• 1:09:06
  last year I ran that hill, you know, 17 minutes and that was a
• 1:09:10
  good speed. And like, could I still do that
• 1:09:12
  now, you know, and then did I appreciate that enough then?
• 1:09:15
  You know, so it's really appreciating these moments now,
• 1:09:18
  you know, like being here now in this moment, appreciating it.
• 1:09:22
  And I think that's powerful to me.
• 1:09:25
  The classic of like tomorrow or yesterday's already happened.
• 1:09:28
  Tomorrow is not guaranteed. All you have is here, now, in
• 1:09:32
  this moment. So if we plan all this shit out
• 1:09:34
  for 10 years, you know our 10 year goal or five year goal.
• 1:09:38
  It's nice, it's aspirational, but.
• 1:09:39
  It's kind of limiting this, you know, it's like if that doesn't
• 1:09:42
  happen then you know you're going to be in lock till then,
• 1:09:44
  you know, or like if that doesn't happen, it's going to
• 1:09:46
  throw you off course. You think you're a failure.
• 1:09:48
  Yeah, yeah. And maybe I'm a, you know, maybe
• 1:09:51
  it's more of a male thing, but like my planning is very
• 1:09:54
  limited. Like I don't like to plan.
• 1:09:57
  I like to aspire to the feeling. How do I want to feel in one
• 1:10:02
  5-10 years It's. Not what I'm doing today.
• 1:10:05
  Getting me a little closer to I always say like I know the
• 1:10:08
  direction that I want to go, but I don't know the exact path of
• 1:10:11
  how I'm going to get there. And I don't need to, you know,
• 1:10:13
  it's just like that direction. I know that I want to go north
• 1:10:16
  or I want to go E you know, I want to go this way because it's
• 1:10:19
  bringing me closer to to what feels good.
• 1:10:23
  There's so many, so many paths and so many ways to get there.
• 1:10:26
  Always out of crossroads. Yeah, there's like so many
• 1:10:29
  different ways. And that what's that kind of
• 1:10:30
  brings back to what I was speaking on at the beginning
• 1:10:33
  with relationship love. So just to touch on that real
• 1:10:39
  quick, I've had I've been in a relationship with a girl who I
• 1:10:43
  knew from back in middle school, high school days, which was
• 1:10:45
  pretty wild. I hadn't seen her for 20 years.
• 1:10:48
  And she's like, what Levels above me on the relationship
• 1:10:51
  side of things, like just the knowledge and the wisdom that
• 1:10:54
  she has about it all. And so she always said that
• 1:10:58
  being in a relationships the greatest mirror.
• 1:11:01
  What the hell? What does that mean?
• 1:11:02
  You know, I can never understood it until I started like and
• 1:11:06
  messing up, you know, like I messed up my this relationship
• 1:11:10
  and and ways of infidelity and things that were just not, you
• 1:11:14
  know, doing a relationship. And she was able to call me out
• 1:11:20
  on that in a way that was like something I've never felt and,
• 1:11:26
  and, and never seen to. And, and it happened to be at a
• 1:11:29
  time where I was going into a very deep meditation retreat.
• 1:11:34
  So I had to sit without feeling for, for many, many hours.
• 1:11:37
  And then like, and I got to see for the first time in my life, I
• 1:11:41
  got to see my, my attachment styles and the patterns over
• 1:11:46
  since I was a teenager. I got to see like, holy shit,
• 1:11:49
  this keeps reoccurring like this situation in relationship and
• 1:11:54
  all the trauma work I've done, all the stuff I had done was
• 1:11:56
  like on different areas of my life, but it wasn't on
• 1:11:58
  relationship. And this woman was strong enough
• 1:12:02
  to to say, you know her, what she felt in it, but also that I
• 1:12:08
  want to walk through the fire with you through this, you know,
• 1:12:11
  And so that was a very profound moment for me and made me really
• 1:12:18
  understand what love is. But also I've seen the parts of
• 1:12:23
  myself that are flawed and that maybe haven't been touched on
• 1:12:27
  from a long time ago. And so now it's given me the
• 1:12:30
  opportunity to face that no matter not to keep the
• 1:12:34
  relationship, but to to, you know, work on this area of my
• 1:12:38
  life for myself. So that in relationship I can
• 1:12:42
  show up as the man that I want to be with integrity and honesty
• 1:12:47
  and and dedication and love and all the the good things are.
• 1:12:50
  You still with that woman? I am.
• 1:12:52
  Wonderful. Yeah, cool.
• 1:12:54
  And I, I feel like that encouragement from her, she
• 1:12:58
  knows that she's going to get great benefits from that in
• 1:13:01
  sharing relationship with you. But also if that if there comes
• 1:13:04
  a time that that relationship ends, she can release you back
• 1:13:08
  into the world as a better version of yourself and more
• 1:13:12
  prepared for whatever may come next.
• 1:13:16
  Totally. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:13:17
  And. That's a that's a great gift.
• 1:13:20
  It is, yeah. And it's so much easier,
• 1:13:22
  especially in the society these days, to walk away from
• 1:13:25
  relationship, you know, because it's like, I mean, there's a
• 1:13:27
  million fish in the sea. And it's just like, well, why do
• 1:13:30
  we need to deal with that shit? You know, we can just, you know,
• 1:13:32
  you just move on. But to actually have the
• 1:13:35
  capacity and then the regulated enough nervous system to be
• 1:13:38
  like, OK, I, I want to do this, I want to work through this.
• 1:13:42
  I'm willing to change, I feel like for the better a lot of.
• 1:13:45
  Like ego work totally because like I have had to put my ego
• 1:13:49
  aside when it comes to Co parenting.
• 1:13:53
  Oh my gosh. Like if I have any bit of ego,
• 1:13:56
  which I do, but I try to keep it at Bay when I'm Co parenting
• 1:14:01
  because it just gets fucked. If I if I want to assert any ego
• 1:14:06
  into any situation, it's like I always get met with fire and I'm
• 1:14:10
  like OK, well that wasn't I need to like let that go.
• 1:14:13
  Like why would I like. Give it up to God.
• 1:14:16
  Right. Like, whatever.
• 1:14:17
  It's just, yeah, I don't know, it's a lot of like ego work for
• 1:14:21
  me. Totally.
• 1:14:22
  Yeah, there's a lot of ego in it and there's a lot of humility.
• 1:14:25
  And I mean, it ties to a lot of a lot of things.
• 1:14:28
  You know, I think that that trickle down.
• 1:14:31
  But I think that's what it comes down to is, is being being able
• 1:14:35
  for me personally, it's like being man enough to to sit in
• 1:14:39
  that discomfort in the, you know, in this stage of my life,
• 1:14:43
  I'm at that stage where I want to sit in the fire and I want to
• 1:14:46
  sit in the discomfort and I want to face it and I want to feel it
• 1:14:49
  and I want to work through it and get beyond it.
• 1:14:52
  Do you think something maybe in childhood like stemmed into like
• 1:14:56
  how you? Yeah, it always is.
• 1:14:58
  But now you're an adult and you get to work.
• 1:15:00
  You can change that pattern and change that programming to say
• 1:15:05
  I'm not going to keep behaving based on these things that
• 1:15:08
  happened to me as a child. I'm an adult and I can take
• 1:15:10
  control and autonomy over this and be who I want to be.
• 1:15:14
  No more living in the program and living with, I mean, it's
• 1:15:17
  everything that I facilitate and it's everything that I teach.
• 1:15:20
  And yet there were still parts of me that weren't, that were
• 1:15:22
  still acting out, you know, And so it was like to be able to see
• 1:15:26
  that and to be OK. I, I got the tools, you know,
• 1:15:29
  let's work on this, let's do this and, and with the
• 1:15:32
  understanding that we don't have to do this together, You know,
• 1:15:35
  like, like you got your stuff to work on now and I and I have to
• 1:15:38
  work on this, but to be in to be able to do it together, it's
• 1:15:42
  just what. Does she do?
• 1:15:44
  She, she does a few different things.
• 1:15:47
  She works at a mental health place, so she understands like
• 1:15:52
  mental health stuff, but she's also a mother and she does a
• 1:15:57
  yoga instructor, you know, so she's really in tune with
• 1:16:00
  herself and and her feelings and emotions.
• 1:16:05
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:16:06
  It's just the yeah. I mean, yeah, I can imagine
• 1:16:10
  walking through that with anybody else.
• 1:16:13
  You know, I think it has to be the right people to the two
• 1:16:16
  people that are really. Making that agreement.
• 1:16:19
  Agreement, yeah. To make them to be willing to to
• 1:16:22
  go forth with that. And it's still unknown.
• 1:16:25
  Like who knows what's going to happen, but just the fact, you
• 1:16:29
  know, that it's going in the direction that it's going has
• 1:16:32
  been a great honor of mine. I feel very grateful for all
• 1:16:35
  that. That, yeah, congratulations.
• 1:16:38
  Thank you. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:16:39
  It's great to find. We're getting close to the end
• 1:16:42
  of our time here. So I want to bring us to our
• 1:16:46
  kind of core question of of our podcast content, which is for
• 1:16:52
  you to share an experience that you've had outdoors that was
• 1:16:56
  pivotal, life changing core memory like altered the
• 1:17:01
  trajectory of your life, something that happened outside.
• 1:17:06
  I've been, you know, kind of dwelling on that a little bit or
• 1:17:10
  not dwelling, I guess, reflecting, thinking.
• 1:17:14
  But there's I spent so much of my life out in the woods and
• 1:17:17
  there's so many memories. And the one that keeps kind of
• 1:17:20
  sparking up is when I did live and this wood cabin that I told
• 1:17:26
  you about, it was drag a mile below Pilot Rock.
• 1:17:29
  It's called Bear Canyon. And it was.
• 1:17:30
  Is it still there? It's dead.
• 1:17:32
  Burned down a couple years ago. Yeah.
• 1:17:34
  Fire, Yeah, yeah, it burned down, I guess the just a couple
• 1:17:38
  years ago. But I do remember being, being,
• 1:17:41
  yeah, I was pretty young, you know, I think I don't even know
• 1:17:44
  how I was 9 or something, maybe, but somewhere in that range.
• 1:17:48
  But I remember doing walking in that night, hiking through the
• 1:17:51
  snow and and I kind of came out on this landscape.
• 1:17:57
  Were you just out there for fun or like I'm going to?
• 1:18:01
  Go, yeah, just cruising around. Yeah, just hiking around.
• 1:18:03
  We were like super Woods boys. Free range.
• 1:18:08
  Yeah, free range, like, I mean, there was like the amount, the
• 1:18:11
  amount of rattlesnakes that were up there.
• 1:18:13
  Like we got, you know, shotguns for Christmas and when, I mean,
• 1:18:16
  we're so young, but we had to because it was like so
• 1:18:19
  dangerous, you know, with the amount of rattlesnakes that were
• 1:18:21
  up there and the threat of of those things.
• 1:18:23
  But I was, I was going to, I was just hiking at that night for
• 1:18:27
  some reason, and we had a ton of snow up there.
• 1:18:31
  And then I came out on this landscape and the sky opened up
• 1:18:35
  to where it was just pure, you know, clear skies and there was
• 1:18:38
  a full moon and it lit up the entire area like so bright that
• 1:18:44
  I didn't need a flashlight. I didn't need anything.
• 1:18:47
  And then I looked up and just seen the stars and, and that was
• 1:18:50
  just a pivotal moment of like nature and, and something
• 1:18:55
  greater, something more. And I and, and when I look back
• 1:18:58
  at those things, yeah, it's like it's always been with me and
• 1:19:01
  within me, you know? And that's what I tell people is
• 1:19:03
  when they have big moments and, and, and breathing classes or
• 1:19:06
  the cold exposure of the sauna sessions and we let go of a lot
• 1:19:09
  of shit and we have these experiences.
• 1:19:11
  It's like it all comes back to ourselves.
• 1:19:13
  You know, they say the the only way out is in, you know, and
• 1:19:17
  it's, it's that, that when I look back, I see these
• 1:19:22
  experiences that it's like that felt sense, you know, between
• 1:19:26
  thought and action, where we kind of, we had that inner
• 1:19:29
  feeling of like, wow, there's something more.
• 1:19:31
  And, and I often I, I get kind of wild with my stuff sometimes
• 1:19:35
  in classes, I always speak on it, but I look back to like
• 1:19:37
  Peter Pan and never Neverland and all these things.
• 1:19:40
  And I'm like, you know, maybe that's real.
• 1:19:42
  Maybe all that stuff was real. And then we don't, we don't
• 1:19:44
  always have, we don't have to grow up and we can keep that
• 1:19:47
  magic within us alive in the creation and, and all of these
• 1:19:51
  things. So I think just having that,
• 1:19:53
  that curiosity and the willingness to, to step in and
• 1:19:58
  that experience outdoors was one of those where I look back and
• 1:20:00
  I'm like, oh, it was there. It was always there.
• 1:20:03
  And that was one of those odd moments for me.
• 1:20:06
  You can grow in, not grow up. Exactly.
• 1:20:09
  Yeah, yeah. And I can still look up at the
• 1:20:11
  star of the night. You're about 9, OK, My son's
• 1:20:14
  nine. I'm like, OK, He's having big
• 1:20:17
  like, awareness in the universe. He needs that so bad right now.
• 1:20:21
  Totally. Yeah, he needs to come over and
• 1:20:22
  do some sauna sessions and cold plunging and.
• 1:20:24
  He would freaking love it. Oh my God, the guy.
• 1:20:28
  He's always begging me to get in the sauna.
• 1:20:30
  He when I had the cold plunge set up, he was in the cold
• 1:20:33
  plunge. It's like he's all about it.
• 1:20:35
  Yeah, some kids. So my girlfriend's son, he
• 1:20:37
  reacts really well to the cold as well.
• 1:20:39
  Like he's this, I'll be like, hey, you wanna go jump in the
• 1:20:42
  reservoir? And it's like, it's cold, you
• 1:20:44
  know, He's like, yeah, sure. I'm just like, sweet.
• 1:20:47
  Kids have a different tolerance to cold than adults do, whether
• 1:20:50
  because they haven't been like conditioned to believe that it's
• 1:20:55
  cold and yeah and painful, or they just have their blood
• 1:20:59
  doesn't have to travel as far. So they stay warmer and more
• 1:21:03
  insulated. So ADHD though.
• 1:21:06
  He you're, yeah, Cruz needs a lot of ability to.
• 1:21:09
  He needs a lot of access to expression to.
• 1:21:12
  Well, that's. The beautiful part about the
• 1:21:13
  cold, you know, is like, especially with kids with ADHD,
• 1:21:17
  you know, that are kind of hyperactive and stuff.
• 1:21:19
  It's like you sit in that and that's the only thing you're
• 1:21:22
  thinking about. But then he'll jump out and be
• 1:21:25
  like, like a little tornado, like a little dopamine wildly
• 1:21:29
  coyote. Totally.
• 1:21:30
  He totally is. But yeah, he loves it.
• 1:21:33
  He'll only be like, he was with me that sauna session up at the
• 1:21:37
  Green Springs. Cool.
• 1:21:39
  And he was only in there for a minute, you know, God, it's so
• 1:21:41
  hot. And he kept wanting to put the
• 1:21:42
  water and then he fucking spilt the water all over the place.
• 1:21:45
  And I'm just like Cruise. But no, he's a good boy overall.
• 1:21:48
  He really is. I'm just finding that he just
• 1:21:52
  needs so much outlet. He just needs such an outlet.
• 1:21:54
  I'm just, I'm still just like. Many outlets.
• 1:21:57
  Yeah, and I'm still refining how I parent him.
• 1:21:59
  I don't think I've quite figured it out.
• 1:22:01
  And am I, will I ever I don't know, you know, it's like it may
• 1:22:05
  be always be evolving, but like I'm just open minded to like
• 1:22:10
  maybe this, maybe that maybe I need to do this and so.
• 1:22:14
  Yeah. I mean, we can never be fully
• 1:22:16
  healed. We can never be fully.
• 1:22:19
  I don't know, but I also am like, shit, I don't I hope I'm
• 1:22:21
  not just trying to find like a cure for him too, because he's
• 1:22:25
  not doesn't necessarily need to be cured.
• 1:22:27
  He just needs to be guided. But sometimes I feel like he
• 1:22:30
  doesn't listen to me. Well, that's all kids, right,
• 1:22:33
  But like intrinsically, like I'm just like he is trying to like
• 1:22:36
  freaking battle me and that's going to end not good later on,
• 1:22:39
  and I don't want him to feel like that.
• 1:22:41
  Like what can I do now that's going to like keep him?
• 1:22:45
  Like I guess my biggest fear, which is a fear that I should
• 1:22:47
  put in the box and send off. But like my biggest fear is like
• 1:22:52
  I'm going to lose him to drugs and alcohol or like just some
• 1:22:57
  sort of something of those type of things.
• 1:23:00
  And I don't he I don't want that to happen.
• 1:23:03
  So like, what can I do now that's going to help build him
• 1:23:07
  up mentally to where he's not of that?
• 1:23:10
  Totally. That's where some of the like
• 1:23:12
  the youth men's groups would, you know, would be really
• 1:23:14
  powerful. There's like there's Mankind
• 1:23:17
  Project and then there's the Sacred sons.
• 1:23:19
  And within those organizations, I know that I know of one guy in
• 1:23:23
  Alaska that does a rite of passage for youth.
• 1:23:27
  You know, when the teenagers and it's such a such a potent, you
• 1:23:30
  know, they go out into the Bush, into the wilderness of Alaska
• 1:23:33
  and they go on this week long expedition.
• 1:23:35
  That's my hope. Like you're always like, OK,
• 1:23:37
  what are you working towards? Or just that's always been like,
• 1:23:40
  OK, what do you want to feel like when you get to that place?
• 1:23:42
  And like, OK, I'm like, I just got my real estate license and
• 1:23:45
  I'm just making this money and it's just like, well, what's my
• 1:23:48
  goals with? It's like I want to be able to
• 1:23:50
  afford things like that for my kids.
• 1:23:53
  I just want to be able to be like, oh, you want to go to
• 1:23:55
  Alaska and do some sort of a wilderness, Like you need that.
• 1:23:58
  I'm going to go ahead and just ship you or whatever.
• 1:24:01
  Like not ship in a bad way, but like.
• 1:24:03
  I want. To be able to have.
• 1:24:04
  The money to give him the experiences.
• 1:24:06
  He's always wanted to do a safari in Africa.
• 1:24:10
  I want to be able to give that to him.
• 1:24:12
  Totally. Yeah, Well.
• 1:24:12
  I want to show him goes. Back to those core experiences
• 1:24:14
  that we were talking about too, you know, it's like, and that's
• 1:24:18
  for you, you know, like that could be a part.
• 1:24:20
  The view of what you want to manifest and call into your life
• 1:24:23
  is abundance in that area. You know, I'm actually doing an
• 1:24:25
  abundance course right now with Joe Dispenza.
• 1:24:27
  It's we do a lot of meditating and, and a lot of like getting
• 1:24:30
  really clear on what the goal is, you know, or what the, what
• 1:24:34
  it is we want to call in what what is abundance mean to you?
• 1:24:37
  And then coming up with goals of that and then meditating on that
• 1:24:40
  and really bringing that forth. So I can relate to that.
• 1:24:44
  I feel like I'm entering my ludial phase right now because
• 1:24:46
  like this whole conversation, I'm kind of like, well, the end
• 1:24:49
  here. I'm like talking about crews and
• 1:24:51
  stuff and I'm just like feeling like the need to like cry a
• 1:24:53
  little bit because I'm just like, you know.
• 1:24:56
  Have that release that's that's part of.
• 1:24:58
  We'd all in. I don't know.
• 1:24:59
  Yeah. It's like a silly, I don't know.
• 1:25:01
  I'm just feeling like very like, yeah, like aha moments.
• 1:25:04
  Totally, Yeah. That's part of the somatic
• 1:25:07
  experience and moving, moving it.
• 1:25:09
  Yeah. I'm part of podcasting and part
• 1:25:10
  of the somatic growing and learning and developing and
• 1:25:13
  processing is like, let yourself have that release.
• 1:25:17
  It's like I've cried on the pod many times.
• 1:25:19
  Yeah. And I.
• 1:25:20
  Ever cried on the? Pod No, because you hold
• 1:25:21
  yourself back because you say don't make me cry.
• 1:25:23
  I feel like I could cry. And then you change the subject
• 1:25:26
  and resist it. But let it.
• 1:25:28
  Let yourself cry. It's a natural thing for you to
• 1:25:30
  do, and I guarantee you will feel better and freer and
• 1:25:35
  lighter after you just let it out.
• 1:25:37
  And you're wearing sunglasses, so nobody's actually gonna know.
• 1:25:39
  I I was told once. In tears.
• 1:25:41
  So I'm crying. Good.
• 1:25:42
  Good. Let it flow.
• 1:25:44
  Let it flow like. Had somebody tell me once that
• 1:25:45
  tears are finally joy coming home and that was really
• 1:25:49
  beautiful. I love that I often tell people
• 1:25:51
  that crying is like a shower for your insides.
• 1:25:55
  I have cried, Emily, when you were crying on with your.
• 1:25:59
  On an episode we haven't released, just on.
• 1:26:02
  No, on. On my personal episode.
• 1:26:04
  Yeah, on both of my personal episodes.
• 1:26:06
  But only one's gone public. Yeah, I have made you cry.
• 1:26:11
  Anyway. Anyway, I'll.
• 1:26:13
  Wrap it up here. We'll wrap it up here and we
• 1:26:17
  will I'll say we have a couple rapid fire questions for you.
• 1:26:21
  So let's do if you have any advice for people, I'm going to
• 1:26:27
  kind of switch it up for people wanting to get into like your
• 1:26:30
  let's, let's let's choose breath work as you're like kind of
• 1:26:35
  practice and you do it outdoors a lot, I'm sure too.
• 1:26:39
  But what like what would be the advice for somebody wanting to
• 1:26:43
  get into breath work and that kind of lifestyle, Sonny and
• 1:26:46
  cold plunging and. I think for breath work, it's,
• 1:26:51
  it's just going to a class, you know, I mean, sign up for a
• 1:26:55
  class, sign up for a class, like it's that simple.
• 1:26:57
  And we can consciously make it as hard as we want to make it,
• 1:27:00
  you know, do I, am I breathing right?
• 1:27:02
  I don't know. How do I have to be a
• 1:27:03
  professional? Like, what can I do?
• 1:27:05
  And it's like all these questions, it's, it's really
• 1:27:07
  not. It's really simple.
• 1:27:08
  It's very simple. Breathing.
• 1:27:09
  We do it every day, all day. It is, yeah.
• 1:27:11
  Yeah. It's happened this.
• 1:27:12
  Is a little more intentional breathing, you know, conscious
• 1:27:14
  breathing, but it's, it really is the sign up and find a good
• 1:27:19
  facilitator. You're gonna be supported and
• 1:27:21
  you're gonna be guided through it.
• 1:27:24
  That's what we hear a lot. The trend is like, find a
• 1:27:26
  mentor, find a guide. Like hop on a guided trip first
• 1:27:29
  or hop on something 1st and kind of start your journey that way.
• 1:27:33
  It's always a good little gateway.
• 1:27:35
  And then if you could give yourself some, if you could give
• 1:27:39
  your younger self some advice, what advice would you give your
• 1:27:43
  younger self? That's a good one.
• 1:27:47
  Let me think about this for a second.
• 1:27:48
  If I give myself younger self some advice, it would be to
• 1:27:53
  follow. To tap in and follow my own
• 1:27:56
  intuition. It would be to not take on so
• 1:28:04
  much responsibility and it would be.
• 1:28:08
  I think the last piece of advice would be to just to love myself.
• 1:28:14
  Yeah, it comes down to that. Always awesome.
• 1:28:16
  I think everything comes back to the heart, yeah, Like the love
• 1:28:19
  is the glue and it is the answer.
• 1:28:21
  Yeah, totally. And then when your body leaves
• 1:28:26
  this plane of existence, how would you like to be remembered?
• 1:28:33
  I want to be remembered as someone who was dedicated to
• 1:28:38
  change to to making change in a positive way in this life.
• 1:28:44
  Cool. Wonderful.
• 1:28:47
  And then what is your like favorite piece of gear or like
• 1:28:54
  something that you're just like outdoor gear maybe facilitates
• 1:28:58
  your practices, but like what's a piece of thing that you are
• 1:29:01
  always using or advocating for? As far as like nature stuff.
• 1:29:08
  Yeah, outdoor gear More. Centered so so these shoes have
• 1:29:12
  been very these are my running shoes for Table Rock and for all
• 1:29:15
  my adventures. I would say that I have like
• 1:29:18
  sharp heels if that makes sense. So I got your heel strikers.
• 1:29:21
  Yeah, like all my boots, my fire boots, all my boots.
• 1:29:24
  I RIP through the heels really fast and these are starting to
• 1:29:27
  delaminate a little bit. But these have been amazing.
• 1:29:29
  What are they? And these are the topo.
• 1:29:33
  I don't even know it. Topo mountain racer.
• 1:29:35
  Yeah, Mountain Racer. It's a Mountain Racer 3, but
• 1:29:40
  these are at REI and they're just amazing shoes.
• 1:29:44
  And then I have this like, wool poncho that is another big part,
• 1:29:48
  you know, for warming back up. And I actually have a poncho
• 1:29:52
  that I would consider to be one of my most beloved outdoor
• 1:29:55
  pieces of equipment, which I never bring, which I should,
• 1:30:00
  that goes on all my camping trips.
• 1:30:01
  Well, it Wicks away water like nothing else, it warms you up
• 1:30:03
  super quick and it's super comfortable and they're pretty
• 1:30:06
  stylish, so. Hell yeah, and if people want to
• 1:30:10
  learn more about you, get involved in a workshop or just
• 1:30:15
  spend some time with you. Where can they find you if you
• 1:30:18
  want to be found? So lean in, breath work on
• 1:30:20
  Instagram or you can type in www.calvinlivingston.com and
• 1:30:26
  that'll pop up my website and I'm doing a bunch of updates on
• 1:30:28
  there with the sauna bus as well as Instagram.
• 1:30:32
  Yeah, but that's where I'm posting all my events and what's
• 1:30:34
  going on in my life. Awesome.
• 1:30:35
  Yeah, thank you so much, Calvin, for randomly sending me a friend
• 1:30:40
  request on Facebook several months ago.
• 1:30:42
  And. Senior podcast, I was like, I
• 1:30:44
  want to like follow this, this these women, you know, and be
• 1:30:48
  and just look into this. I didn't know where it was going
• 1:30:50
  to lead, but I knew that I really like Yeah felt called to
• 1:30:55
  it so. Awesome.
• 1:30:56
  Thank you for yeah, for hearing that call and following through
• 1:31:00
  with it. And I'm so grateful that we got
• 1:31:02
  to connect and continue to follow each other on this little
• 1:31:06
  journey of life. And I'm excited to see where you
• 1:31:10
  go now that we're connected and involved and grateful for this
• 1:31:14
  time with you. To attend a community gathering
• 1:31:18
  of yours. Yeah, that's what I love.
• 1:31:20
  Like all the friends. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:31:22
  And then maybe in a maybe week in situation where we can all
• 1:31:25
  like you can get to know us a little bit more.
• 1:31:27
  Absolutely. That's the one thing about the
• 1:31:29
  pod is like for strangers such as yourselves, you know, like
• 1:31:33
  usually Emily or I have a connection to that person.
• 1:31:36
  So they kind of know us, you know, and that's the only hard
• 1:31:38
  part. It's like we don't want to sit
• 1:31:40
  here and be like, cuz our followers get to know us and
• 1:31:42
  we're repeating the same thing to our new people, but like
• 1:31:45
  getting to know each other. Absolutely.
• 1:31:48
  Community, Yeah. Different environment and stuff.
• 1:31:50
  Yeah, well, I hope that you ladies will make it to the
• 1:31:53
  reveal of the Sona. Yeah.
• 1:31:55
  Let us know when it is and put it on our calendar.
• 1:31:58
  Yeah, we'll make a point to be there.
• 1:31:59
  Yeah, and I'll do a great honor. Yeah, I'll do a little posty
• 1:32:02
  too. Cool.
• 1:32:03
  Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be fun. There's gonna be a lot of a lot
• 1:32:06
  of cool people that that Omnia group in Ashland's gonna bring.
• 1:32:09
  They wanna come with some facilitators and you know, just
• 1:32:11
  it's gonna be a community event for sure.
• 1:32:13
  That's awesome. And I'm gonna spend fire.
• 1:32:15
  I love spend the fire. Yeah, I used to do that.
• 1:32:17
  Yeah, yeah, I used. To have some fire play, but then
• 1:32:20
  I got into then I got into hula hooping because I like hula
• 1:32:23
  hooping more. Well, I did and I haven't I
• 1:32:25
  actually went on my hula hoop website and I was gonna order
• 1:32:28
  some hula hoop because I'm like I need to get back and like a
• 1:32:30
  create a flow like that. Totally.
• 1:32:33
  I was really tapped in back then, but I love it.
• 1:32:36
  I've been trudging away at career.
• 1:32:39
  That's another thing. We can't ever let go of the
• 1:32:40
  play. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:32:41
  The antidote to depression is play A. 100%, yeah.
• 1:32:45
  So keep playing. Thank you everybody for being
• 1:32:48
  here listening. Follow along, like follow, share
• 1:32:51
  with your friends. Stay tuned and we'll see you
• 1:32:54
  next time. I'm Emily, she's Heather, and
• 1:32:58
  together we're Go wildly I think so I like doing that.
• 1:33:05
  It's a nice way to wrap it up. That's a wrap on this episode of
• 1:33:09
  Go Wildly from the bottom of our backpacks.
• 1:33:12
  Thank you for listening. We know you enjoyed the show, so
• 1:33:15
  tap, follow, tell a friend or two and leave a quick review if
• 1:33:18
  you can. It makes a real difference.
• 1:33:21
  Your support allows Go Wildly to reach new listeners and bring
• 1:33:24
  more outdoor stories to the mic. Until next time, go wildly and
• 1:33:29
  go outside.