Latest / Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast / 330: Creating Higher Self Habits with 1/4 Sacral Generator Alessia Citro

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330: Creating Higher Self Habits with 1/4 Sacral Generator Alessia Citro · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

0:01
Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to
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helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to
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flow without sacrificing results.
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Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business
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according to your human design.
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I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody.
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I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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And for once, I am not here by myself, people.
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I have a guest with me today that I'm very excited to introduce you all to,
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because I think that this sort of blends the strategy and energy piece that we
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always try to bring together on the show.
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I'm very excited to have this conversation.
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With her and with you all and to introduce you to her and to her work.
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So my guest today is Alacia Citro.
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She's a corporate dropout like moi, who traded her lucrative career at tech
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giants, Google and Salesforce for a life of meaningful entrepreneurship.
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A pivotal encounter, and I'm going to ask about this, on a flight from Maui, ignited
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her transition from the corporate world to becoming a life coach and a passionate
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advocate for creating fulfillment through full expression and authenticity.
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She is also, to give you her human design creds, she is also a one
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for pure generator, and she is a vessel of love incarnation cross.
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I am so excited to have you here, Alacia.
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Welcome to the show.
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Nicole, thank you for having me.
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I'm so excited to be here.
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So I want to dive into like the encounter going to Maui.
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So what happened that shifted you that said like, I can't do this anymore?
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What, I don't want to say the word forced, but usually there is some sort of moment.
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I know I had my moment of saying, I can't do it anymore.
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What was your moment that you said like, Buy Google, , buy big tech, and I'm
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going to go do something that doesn't really have like a clear cut path.
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It's very unknown.
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I'm going to step into the unknown.
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I should also say that your book is called Higher Self Habits, which is what
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we're going to be talking about today.
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But what caused your transition from corporate to entrepreneurship?
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What was that encounter going to Maui or whatever it was that shifted you?
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It was the clearest sign from the universe in the form of my seatmate Jodi telling
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me, I know we were meant to sit together because when I saw you walked on the
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aisle, I knew I needed to talk to you.
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And then she gave me my sign, but let me give a little bit of context to this.
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I had been super successful in tech sales, right?
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And I started a new role at Google on March 2nd, 2020.
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So you could do the math of what happened one week later.
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Now, at the time, my daughter was 15 months old, her daycare
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closes, and I am now in the most.
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Complex, technical, highly demanding role of my entire career, and I'm able
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to work three hours a day while she naps.
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And so for me, why I left was because of the existential identity
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crisis that resulted and the shift in my priorities that followed.
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If you have been identifying yourself with external circumstances the way that
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I was, which was, Oh, I'm a top performer.
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I'm a quota crusher.
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I'm so good at my job.
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Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.
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And all of a sudden that gets taken from you.
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Suddenly you have to think, well, without that, who am I really?
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And that December of 2020, my beloved grandpa passed away.
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And I feel like I got so many signs from him after he departed to
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kind of nudge me towards my truth.
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That's a longer story too, and then grandma passed and I got more
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of those signs from her as well.
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But, you know, I ended up having to take a medical leave for the
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deep depression that happens after your identity gets pulled from you.
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I go back and it's better for a little while until it's not again.
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And so the day that I met Jodi on the plane, we'd been in Maui.
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I had a call with a customer.
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, it was a deal that wasn't really that great for him,
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but it was really good for us.
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And he and I got on the phone, just the two of us.
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And we had to come to Jesus.
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And I was like, if I'm you, I'm not doing this deal.
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And I get why you're not about it.
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And I, we hung up the phone and I was like, I can't do this anymore.
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I'm not doing anything that's like bettering the customers, bettering
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the world, bettering myself.
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What am I doing?
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So we go to the airport and , last minute upgrades come through.
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I end up sitting next to Jodi in first class and she says, I
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knew I needed to talk to you.
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You are meant to do something bigger and you have everything
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that you need to do it right now.
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So then I was still drinking at the time.
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I'm alcohol free now, but then we ended up drinking Tito's and
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soda all the way back to LAX.
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We deboarded the plane and I told my husband, I'm going to quit my job
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tomorrow and the rest is history.
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I actually got emotional listening to you tell your story, so thank you for
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sharing openly by grandparents and just, because I do think that break
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in identity, I remember that feeling, and mine was a bit different, it wasn't
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like I was not able to perform anymore, to me, it was, I don't know who I am not
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being this and I don't like it anymore.
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Now what?
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And I remember like some of the things, when I look back on it,
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it didn't feel weird to me then.
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But when I look back on it, I was like, Oh my God, it was like my higher
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self was trying to do things for me.
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It was trying to tell me, and I was trying to compensate, which
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is what I'm really good at.
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I'm really good at like pulling things and being like, I'll work it out.
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I'm a five one, I'll fix it.
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And so for me, I lost myself and I wasn't feeling like myself.
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I took improv classes because I was like, I don't feel like I know how
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to respond as like myself anymore.
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So I just need to go someplace.
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Where I just yes and I just have to just really be present because I don't
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feel present anymore And then I became a makeup artist because i'm like,
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I don't feel like I have a creative outlet anymore And I kept trying
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these other things to add on to my already like 60 hour week I was like,
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I know what i'll do with my weekends.
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I'll do weddings Because that sounds stress free, but I was just so
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desperate to feel something again.
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And because I couldn't let go of that identity, because I couldn't let go
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of like, well who am I if I'm not this paycheck, if I'm not this building, if
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I'm not associated with I can remember feeling like pride looking at my badge
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with like the big bank name on it.
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I get to come in here and I'm part of this whole thing.
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Even when everybody hated Banks.
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I was proud.
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And that was part of my whole thing.
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And now, you know, it's very funny.
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Like I have a different identity.
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So I want to ask you, what do you identify with now?
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I love this question and I love the answer I'm about to give you too.
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I really liken what happened after I left big tech, you become an entrepreneur
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and I joke that like personal development is no longer optional because
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you got no big logo to hide behind.
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It's just you, right?
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So if you don't master the six inches between your ears, it's going to
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become pretty evident pretty quick in terms of your business, right?
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I go down this road of, you know, spiritual awakening, I would call it too.
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And, I identify now as being a child of God that chose to incarnate, to play
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the game of life and experience what it feels like to live full out and to step
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into my potential as best as I am able.
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Beautiful.
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And I love that there's such openness in that.
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There's no like, and I do this and I have to do that.
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It's just sort of like, this is kind of what I'm here for.
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And looking at your human design chart and I want to talk about the book.
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There's so much I want to talk about.
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I'm like, Oh, I've got, we've got so much because you and I met at a
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dinner after the powerhouse women event and we got to talking about your
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book and I was taken in by the title.
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Great title, by the way, Higher Self Habits, because it does say like, I.
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Believe that we need like we live in the material world, baby Like it's
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not all energy if you've figured out how to work the pure manifestation
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where you just think about shit Don't do anything and money comes to you.
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Let's talk because I would love to know your secrets.
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I haven't figured that out I have learned to make energy work for me.
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So the things that I do are more productive, are more successful, and
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that I have a better relationship with the things that I do, and I
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no longer identify with that stuff.
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That energy has become another tool and way of living that has made me go
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through life open and more aligned.
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But we started talking about this, and one of the things that I noticed was, you
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have the channel, I run everybody's chart when they come on the show, by the way.
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You have the channel of rhythm, which is about habits, which is about.
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Being in flow, but also being in habits.
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It is this kind of, relationship between finding your own flow and your own rhythm
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and Also respecting the rhythms of nature.
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There's a lot of themes there.
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These channels and these gates and everything, all the energies in the human
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design chart are very multi dimensional.
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But in its essence, it is about saying, I do what feels right to me.
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I have schedules and routines and rhythms that support my life.
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But I also am open to the flexibility of that changing and I'm not so rigid
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with the routines and the structure that I can't work outside of them.
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Just sometimes people with five, the 515 channel can get really mad when
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people get in the way of their routine and their habits and their stuff.
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, that's just the shadow peeking out, just being like, ah, you know, , , but the
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high expression of it is to respect.
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All of the natural rhythms and starting with our own and starting
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with just the way that we operate.
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So I love when someone's design is making its way through their life already.
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But what are higher self habits to you?
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So what's the difference between habits and higher self habits?
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Oh my God.
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Okay.
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I'm still kind of processing cause you just connected so many dots
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for me with the rhythm thing.
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So we'll touch on that in a second.
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But what differentiates higher self habits from regular habits is that
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typically regular habits are the root, the rigidity, the routine, the structure.
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They feel constricting to me anyway.
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And actually as a bit of context, I'm like the least likely person
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to write a book about habits.
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Because while I do like my own unique rhythm, let's talk about that more
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in a second, I bristle at regimented, , cookie cutter, repetitive stuff.
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I hate that actually.
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I'm very spontaneous, free spirit, like to go where the wind blows me to an extent.
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If there's something in my chart about that too, you'll have to tell
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That's in there, too.
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Yeah, we can talk some more.
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You're a quad right, so there's, which is a whole other thing that
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would totally jive with what you just
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Well, okay.
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That makes a lot of sense then.
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Cause these things feel like they're at odds with each other, but they're not.
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And then there's also the cycle syncing piece to this.
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So I think for men who operate on a 24 hour hormone cycle, every
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day is kind of like Groundhog Day in terms of their physicality.
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They wake up with a surge of energy.
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It's the same day in, day out.
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Us women, we're on a 28 day ish hormone cycle.
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Every day is a little bit different.
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It's like, choose your own adventure.
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You know, am I in my follicular?
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Am I in my ovulatory, my luteal, my menstrual, right?
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We're going to feel different all those days.
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So I think having said all that habits, as we typically think about them, the
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structure, the routine, the repetition that works really well for men.
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And I'm sure some women that doesn't work for me.
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I needed habits that incorporated spirituality, how
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I'm feeling in a given day.
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I also, I'm the type where if something doesn't make sense, if it feels arbitrary,
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or like someone is just telling me that I should do something, I question it.
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So I need the science to back it up.
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So for me, Higher Self Habits is also, Hey, this actually works.
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Here's why.
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And then the strategy as well.
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So you put that all together and what you end up with is a very flexible framework.
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For you to really view your habits and routines as more of a menu in
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which to live full out however you are feeling that day, while still
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remaining accountable, you know?
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If you feel like just being in sloth mode all day, well, there are some days that
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we need that, but this at least gives you guardrails to make sure that every
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day you're getting something done, you're being in the energy of that person that
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you wish to become, your higher self.
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And you do that enough days.
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And before you know it, you've ascended into a much better version
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of yourself without the guilt and the shame and the boredom.
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I want to ask you
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a question about how do you choose off of your menu personally?
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Okay.
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So the example I love to give, is, the miracle morning, Hal Elrod.
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He came up with this, this framework where there's six things you do
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every morning, SAVERS is the acronym, silence, affirmations, visualization,
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exercise, reading, and scribing, right?
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Let's use that , as an example.
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I'm going to pick one.
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Maybe two off the menu, depending how I'm feeling that day.
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When I'm in my luteal, I probably want to exercise plenty to get
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some of this energy out, right?
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If I am, in more of a reflective state, maybe I'm, in my menstrual phase,
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journaling sounds really good, right?
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When I'm in my follicular and I'm ideating and I'm thinking about what
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I could create, I love visualizing.
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I love to journal, to say affirmations, to think, you know, ahead.
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So that's kind of how I would base it at a really high level,
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but I know what works well for me.
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These are just a few examples.
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And I know what my baseline habits need to be.
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And I just maintain those and then do a little extra if and when I feel like it.
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But I've really taken out the guilt of like, I have to have this perfect
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morning routine and I have to wake up at 5am because that's not realistic.
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And that's a really good way to feel crappy about yourself.
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A hundred percent.
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And so is it an intuitive sort of, are you looking at your cycle and saying,
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or are you just sort of tuning in and saying, like, this is what I need today?
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It's a little bit of both, but yeah, I'm one of those people that once I learned
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about cycle syncing, I was 36 years old, by the way, and I was actually furious.
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I'm like, I have had my period since I was 12 years old.
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Why am I just now finding out about this?
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So now it is a repeating event, each phase on my Google calendar.
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I've got three different tracking apps, which is excessive.
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I could probably delete two of them.
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I always know where I'm at.
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So that informs it.
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But then I also just go off of the intuition.
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Like what is going to make me feel good right now?
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What do I need?
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Right.
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And then celebrating when I do it to wire that in as a great activity
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that moved my day and my life.
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Well,
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the reason I asked is because you're a generator and that's actually
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one of the techniques that I give to generators inside my program
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is to treat things like a menu.
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And I use that exact term because I think that's also a great way to experiment
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with your design with that gut reaction.
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Cause when you read a menu.
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If you notice, it's like you're internally going, yes or no, or I don't know, read
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the whole thing and then read it again.
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So after that I can start to like, you're getting, it's an intuitive sort
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of guidance of like what you should eat at that moment, what feels good to you.
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And so the fact that you call it that, like I have people, I have a whiteboard.
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And so I put all of my important projects and things up there.
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And so this is how, as a manifesting generator, I stay not distracted,
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because it's very easy for us to do that, but I also can't be bored.
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So I do usually have a few balls up in the air to keep everything interesting for me.
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I just try to choose the right balls to be playing.
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Now I'm not going to say balls playing with, but you get the idea.
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That I'm gonna juggle the right ones at the moment, but I'm gonna choose
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off of that menu So I'm not doing frivolous stuff when I know that there
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are things that need to be done Without being rigid about it if I need to move
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my energy in a different way I do that if I need to take a walk if I need to
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just enjoy myself if it's just feeling like too much I need to go have fun If
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I'm frustrated, I need to go have fun.
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So you mentioned when we hopped on the call, before we hopped on the
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call, that you had So you have, I mentioned, your 5 15 channel of rhythm.
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The 15 is the gate of extremes.
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You're a vessel of love person.
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So the 15 is one of your prime gifts.
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It is your conscious earth.
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You said you had a history, , an experience with extremes.
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And so I would love if you shared with us just that, because I do really like to
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Point out, not just give you like, oh, and she has these centers and this defined.
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It's so much more useful, I feel, to the people listening, to be
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able to hear, like, how this stuff shows up in your life.
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And especially because this is a prime gift of yours.
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People are always like, how do I use my incarnation cross?
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And It's not really how it works, but it's difficult to explain.
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So if you could tell me what you were going to share, cause you didn't share
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it with me exactly how it worked, but what was your history with extremes?
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What happened with that theme for you?
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I told you before we hit record too, I know enough about my design to be
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dangerous, not an expert in it, but I will say when I began learning about
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it, this was one of the things that made me feel so validated, Nicole.
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Let me give you a little glimpse into what the gift of
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extremes has looked like for me.
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Okay, I'll give you one example.
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I didn't even mention this.
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At the same time, around when I was leaving Google, I also had a
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seven figure online wine business.
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And again, this was during COVID, I was drinking an awful lot.
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And now I'm alcohol free, as I mentioned, right?
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I had to venture into the extreme of overdoing it so that I could
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learn about that, learn why it was not for me, and then go the other
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way and help other people become curious about their own relationship.
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If I venture too far, I end up finding the gift.
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and making it such.
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Another thing, when I was in my 20s, I got really into running.
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Okay, that's nice enough to just go for a jog, but no, I have the gift of extremes.
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That was not enough for me.
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So I completed, notice I did not say ran, two Chicago marathons.
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Because, hey, if you're, go big or go home, right?
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All or nothing.
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Do it right or don't do it.
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If any of the last few things I just said resonated with you, by the way,
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you too may have a gift of extremes, or at least think that you should.
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How that also looks.
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I honestly wonder, my daughter is a manifesting generator, and I feel like
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I really have mani gen tendencies.
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I am interested in so many things.
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I'm pretty good at a lot of different things, too.
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Kind of like Jane of all trades, master of, Some, but one, example
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of this before we, went on a trip to South Africa earlier this year,
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my friend was getting married there.
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We go on a safari and I'm like, this is a bucket list trip.
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I got to take wildlife photos.
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So I already had the camera.
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I'm like, let me learn everything there is to learn about photography.
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So in three weeks, I went so deep into photography, learned all about it.
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Rented the lenses.
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I have beautiful pics to show for it too.
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And I have not picked up the camera since.
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So it's like, and my husband now, he has been with me now for 11 years.
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He knows this.
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I get interested in something and I go all in on learning about it.
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Also might be my one line, the investigator.
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I definitely could have
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I was going to say,
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yeah,
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that's a one line thing.
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Yeah, one lines, like we're just, I'm the exact same way, like I'm a five one, so
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I have the one on the unconscious side.
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But one's a one, that's just how we work.
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It's like we go deep to the bottom of the ocean on something
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and then that may satisfy us.
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We may be very happy being like completely immersed in something for
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a while and then be like, okay, bye,
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Yeah.
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And
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you in a few years.
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And with habits too.
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I mean, that can be kind of challenging, right?
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Cause it's like, Oh, , I'm going to start this new habit.
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But I'm going to.
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Cook dinner every night.
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Well, are you really going to be able to do that?
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I mean, that's maybe not the best example, but for me it's been, okay.
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I
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Meal prepping.
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right.
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kind of thing, I'm gonna do all the meals for the whole week.
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And I'm, I feel like that's one that people fall off the wagon with a lot,
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because it's a lot of work and it's a lot of pressure and it's not actually
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serving you completely all the time.
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It is in one way, but in a lot of ways it might be actually causing more harm
20:20
than good because it's disruptive.
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But I wanted to just, on the extremes thing, I wanted to say, I just wanted to
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call out that I think that people, when you're working on yourself, a lot of
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times you'll find your way to your design.
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Like, it's, this isn't the only path that you can take to your alignment, it does
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just sort of show you what it is that if you find this first while you're trying
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to figure it all out and those other things haven't worked, that it can lend
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real specificity to why you do the things that you do and maybe where you need to
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look at, and what I wanted to call out about what you did was, you talked about
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how, like, it was the shadow of extremes that showed you what the gift was.
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And most people won't walk through that darkness, won't look at it long enough.
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They're just like, tell me why I'm awesome.
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And it's like, I'll tell you what your potential is.
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But usually, when they're wondering, like, how do I use this?
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It's like, see how it's using you first.
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See how this thing is maybe like, to me, I think the shadows
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illuminate the gift a lot.
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And when you can start to see it, you're like, okay, well there, here's gate 15.
21:30
It's this.
21:31
What else is it?
21:33
Okay, I see the darkness, I see the shadow, I see the thing that's
21:36
maybe kind of messing with me.
21:38
Okay, cool, I've identified that particular dial.
21:42
Now I can start to play with it and tune it and turn it up and find that gift.
21:47
That's the power to me, because we could be searching around
21:50
in the dark looking for gifts.
21:52
Or we could say like, Oh, well here, it's right here.
21:55
Like what would happen if you examined these key things in your
21:58
life and these key themes and see how are they already at play for you?
22:02
And a lot of people won't do that work and it's work.
22:05
Your conscious son, it's like your greatest gift.
22:08
Yours is authenticity.
22:09
So you talk about authenticity.
22:11
But most people, like in Gene Keys, we call it the, it's called your life's work.
22:16
Most people won't do the work.
22:17
They're just like, tell me what it is and let me put it into my copy.
22:20
Let me build a business around it and a brand around its authenticity.
22:23
And it's like, well, until you've had a journey with it, you don't
22:26
really have anything to offer anyone.
22:28
And people just want that quick thing.
22:31
And I'm not yelling at you if you're listening and this is you,
22:33
this is just sort of me calling you up, not calling you out.
22:36
But just really, if you start to pay attention to this stuff, this
22:39
is where you find your magic.
22:42
And I love that you found that on your own, that you noticed these things and
22:46
then the chart comes and it's like, oh, hello, there it is, there's my
22:51
wine running and marathons and here's this history with extremes, now that
22:57
I see it, my relationship changes to it, now it can actually be a gift
23:00
because there's great flexibility.
23:02
In the 15, like that is the gift is this kind of flexible fluidity with things.
23:08
That's we get to do one end to the other.
23:12
We get to do that, but.
23:14
Let me be aware of it and not unconscious to it happening where
23:18
I'm, 'cause that's the other thing.
23:20
The, the five and the 15, that whole channel, both of those gates, five
23:24
is about routines and fixed patterns.
23:26
Those fixed patterns can be pretty darn bad and it can be having great habits,
23:31
or it can have be having really shitty habits that are detrimental to your health
23:36
and to your life and to your success.
23:38
yeah,
23:39
so just in order to interject that there, because it just felt you were such a
23:42
beautiful, you gave such a beautiful example of how you work with this stuff.
23:45
Even when you don't know you're working with the human design, you're working
23:49
with something where you're like, oh, what would happen if I shifted this?
23:52
What could I change here?
23:53
But I want to talk about like, What is, so someone buys Higher Self Habits,
23:58
someone is looking to dive into creating Higher Self Habits for themselves.
24:04
What are you taking them through?
24:05
What would you like them to know about the process that you lay out in your book?
24:09
Oh, I love this question.
24:10
I think the biggest piece I could impart is that it's actually a lot easier and
24:16
simpler and more enjoyable than you're probably thinking it is when, because
24:20
for so many of us habit is kind of like.
24:22
Like a dirty word, like, Oh, something else I have to do that I don't want to do.
24:27
Or I got to force myself.
24:28
I got to buck up and it's not that at all.
24:31
So I take the reader through five stages.
24:34
There's awareness, alignment, audit, activation, and then ascension.
24:39
And what we do in those five stages is first illuminate what are the
24:45
limiting beliefs and the fears.
24:47
holding you back as well as the shared neural architecture that keeps us
24:53
playing small unless we are aware of it and choose to overwrite it.
24:57
Like the reason that you care about people's opinions of you
25:00
is not because you're weak or care too much what people think.
25:04
No, it's because you have an ancient brain that has not evolved for modern conditions
25:09
and things you still have to acquiesce so you don't get kicked out of the
25:13
tribe and die in the wilderness, right?
25:15
So learning about some of these limitations is helpful.
25:18
You become aware of that.
25:19
Then you move into alignment.
25:21
Who is your higher self?
25:23
If it could be like the angel on the shoulder whispering in your ear
25:27
of, Ooh, this is your next step.
25:29
What if you reacted like this instead?
25:31
What if you tried that?
25:32
Like we're looking for that, but you get such a crystal clear vision of
25:36
who this version of you is down to how she dresses, how she does her hair,
25:42
what her vibe is like, all of it.
25:43
It literally becomes like an alter ego to an extent that you can embody.
25:48
And then act as, then with auditing, I show you where
25:53
to start, stop, and continue behaviors and which to begin with.
25:57
I actually borrow quite a bit from Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
26:01
And if you're not familiar with that, Abraham Maslow, he was an
26:04
early, 20th century psychologist who created this hierarchy.
26:09
And a lot of the time when we jump into personal development, we're
26:11
like, Ooh, let me self actualize, which is the top of the hierarchy.
26:17
But maybe the thing that you actually need to focus on right now
26:20
is not skipping lunch every day, which I'm guilty of doing often.
26:24
Maybe it's drinking more water.
26:26
Maybe it's getting more sleep.
26:27
You cannot be the best version of yourself if you're not
26:29
meeting your basic physiological safety connection needs, right?
26:35
And then from there, activation, I show you how to design behaviors to
26:39
make them habits, as well as how to design your way out of behaviors.
26:43
And I tell people, if you cannot stick to a behavior or a
26:46
habit, it is not a you problem.
26:49
It's not a matter of, Oh, you don't have enough willpower.
26:52
You're not motivated enough.
26:53
It is a design problem.
26:55
You are probably making it too hard to do without even realizing it.
27:00
It takes so little friction for us to not do something.
27:04
And I show you how you can eliminate the friction, find your desired habit,
27:09
and then make it itty bitty so that you can do it day in, day out, come
27:14
hell or high water, maintaining that baseline, wiring it in for good.
27:18
And then ascension, that's when you've completed one revolution of this process.
27:22
You unlock new levels of awareness.
27:23
And here we go again, your upward spiral
27:26
I love that, because, and a lot of people are surprised when I When they come into
27:32
my programs and they work with me and I'm not giving them all cosmic advice.
27:36
It's not all about like their activations and their gifts.
27:40
It's like, no, here's like the structure of how you start to work with this.
27:43
I just try to not force someone who's quad right.
27:47
Like you are where there is more flow in your nervous system.
27:50
Your nervous system needs that.
27:52
I don't want you feeling like you need to have a rigid, dictated schedule
27:57
that you need to stick to all the time.
27:58
If you have an open ego, that might be really hard for you.
28:01
So there's considerations to how you set the framework, but
28:04
the framework is still needed.
28:06
And I love how you broke that down into really clean steps of, and I, and using
28:11
Maslow's hierarchy of needs, because yes, we can be looking like, I want that.
28:17
And we are taught to sort of look at like, go after what you desire, have big dreams,
28:21
have big goals but if you're not looking at what you actually need and can't
28:26
assess what you need at this moment then you will probably find that you are in a
28:31
consistent cycle of not being successful.
28:35
And it's almost like you're, you keep stepping down and there's, but
28:38
there's a hole in the ground and your foot keeps going through it.
28:41
Like you're not going to climb the steps if the one that
28:43
you step on keeps breaking.
28:45
You gotta shore up that first step first.
28:48
I compare it to playing Whack A Mole.
28:50
You know that game in the arcade?
28:51
It's like, oh I whacked that mole.
28:52
Oh crap, now that one popped up.
28:54
Like,
28:54
Uh huh.
28:55
you don't want to be playing Whack A Mole in life.
28:57
And the way that you stop that is by shoring up the basics.
29:02
That are so boring.
29:03
And then, think of how much energy and mental capacity that also frees
29:07
up if you get the basics dialed in on autopilot, no more decision fatigue.
29:14
Right now you can focus on the higher order stuff that actually matters
29:17
to you and makes you fulfilled.
29:19
I think that's why we're seeing such a huge shift to nervous system
29:23
regulation and putting a priority on, managing your energy well and
29:29
not taxing your internal system.
29:31
Because if your nervous system, if you're constantly battling flight, freeze.
29:35
You're game over, like you're just going to get real burnt out real fast or
29:40
you're going to push through it and then you'll crash eventually, might succeed.
29:45
And this happens to a lot of us in the corporate world where we're just going
29:48
and going because the expectations are there, our identities all wrapped up in
29:51
it, in the entrepreneurial world, it's these people who had eight figure
29:55
businesses, have run really hard, had all of this success and you're hearing
29:58
them now talk about like, no, I'm like all about, Jammies and coffee till 11 a.
30:04
m.
30:04
until I feel like working and stuff and hanging out with my kids and
30:07
nervous System regulation is in for me.
30:10
It's because it's an we over we extremed We over corrected and now this is the
30:15
lesson we're learning and now the key is to find that middle ground of where
30:20
you're doing that basic work and then, that energetic work, the exploring work,
30:27
the observation work, and then there's also something that is clearly moving
30:31
you forward, where you're taking action toward the things that you want, not just
30:35
being like, okay, well, I'm regulated.
30:37
Everything's going to be better now.
30:38
Think there's a consistent thing that I see where people will be like, I
30:41
did this nervous system regulation thing and it just didn't work.
30:43
And it's like, I feel better, but I didn't make any more money.
30:46
And it's like, well, what else did you do?
30:47
And they're like, well, no, I invested a lot of money in
30:50
that and I didn't get my ROI.
30:51
And it's like, but you didn't do anything to make the money.
30:54
Were you making money before?
30:55
There's just that like, and I feel like it's a conversation
30:58
that, I love when people come on and they speak about both sides.
31:01
They're talking about the balance between things.
31:03
It's higher self habits.
31:06
Yeah.
31:06
And what about the ROI for that?
31:08
From some of these things that can't be quantified, what is your health
31:12
worth from a monetary standpoint?
31:14
What is your joy?
31:15
What is having increased presence, better energy worth, like sometimes I
31:19
Of course.
31:20
bit to catch up to all of that, but you shouldn't be doing it
31:23
just for money either, you know?
31:25
Well, I think when we're entrepreneurs, you know where you said it before
31:29
about how this, it's a crash course in personal development.
31:32
You're either going to work on yourself or you're going to
31:35
get run over by this business.
31:37
It's gonna take you down, so you have to do it.
31:39
It's not optional.
31:40
It's necessary.
31:42
So when you're going through that, but there's also this, you're trying
31:45
to move two balls down the court.
31:47
And I think it's a lot of the messaging too.
31:49
People tell you that all you need is the one thing, cause it's easier
31:52
to sell stuff when you tell people that all you need is the one thing.
31:55
All you need is this.
31:56
This is what I did and I made two million dollars yesterday.
31:59
And it's like, right, but you were making a million and a half the day before that.
32:04
So it's not like it's, there's not a whole story there.
32:07
And people make decisions out of lack because they want something,
32:11
they want to change their lives and they're looking for the fix.
32:16
But the fix is things like what you teach.
32:18
The fix is coming at it from a systemic sort of place where one thing doesn't,
32:27
maybe doesn't send you straight up to, to the sky with results, but it's
32:33
a series of small things that make it so one thing doesn't, no longer has
32:39
the capacity to take you out anymore.
32:42
One thing, it's like you're on this rock solid foundation.
32:46
Because is that how you feel now?
32:49
Do you feel like you're just on solid ground because of what you've built?
32:54
yes, I say in the book probably six times, you want to be building on
32:58
a foundation of steel, not on sand, and to your point, it would take a
33:04
lot to take me out right now, like
33:07
Exactly.
33:07
I am so like diversified I feel and the different practices I do, and how
33:13
I have rooted my identity in internal stuff, not in the external, shiny objects,
33:21
accolades, achievements, all of that.
33:23
Yeah, I don't think that can be understated.
33:25
And that's another reason, too, why, you know, yeah, we all want to have, these
33:29
quick, big results, but do we actually?
33:32
Because unless your identity levels up with the result, you're not going
33:38
to be able to hold it long term.
33:39
And I'm in a season where, I would rather have sustainability, I've
33:42
been on this roller coaster, boom and bust cycle long enough.
33:46
I'm really enjoying, like, homeostasis now.
33:49
There's still excitement, don't get me wrong.
33:51
I am never going to be a boring person.
33:53
It's just not written in the stars for me, this incarnation anyway.
33:56
We'll see about the next one.
33:58
But now Things are just a lot more even, and that feels really good
34:03
from a nervous system perspective.
34:05
Lain in the plane to what you were just talking about.
34:08
When you're really building something, it's not do or die on any one thing.
34:12
That's what I tell my clients all the time.
34:13
I was like, you have to remind yourself that you don't get one shot at this.
34:17
That you're building something, you get to come back, optimize this.
34:21
That's what I teach you Is to build something that lasts and grows over time.
34:26
You might have a big bang at the beginning, but if you don't, it's
34:30
okay, but we're teaching you how to cycle this and how to grow this
34:32
over time so that it doesn't feel like you don't feel like this.
34:36
Oh my God.
34:36
What if it doesn't work?
34:37
Cause nothing will you faster than that feeling of I've got to make this work
34:42
and I need to make it work right now.
34:44
But if you have the thought in your head and the vision of,
34:47
I just have to make it work.
34:48
Can I make it?
34:49
I a vision that where it's like, can I see it?
34:51
If I had a year, would I feel like it's possible?
34:54
Most people will say, yeah.
34:56
If you tell them next month does what you want feel possible, then they start
35:00
to freak out, but it's the same goal.
35:02
So take the time away.
35:04
And the way that you do that is sort of just building this great foundation
35:07
for yourself of the things that you do and the way that you live.
35:10
What are some of the tools in your toolbox that you love
35:13
to pull out to help yourself?
35:16
What are your favorites?
35:17
The first one that drops in for me is tapping, emotional freedom technique.
35:21
I, if you are not familiar with it, oh man, go Google it,
35:25
watch a video on how to do it.
35:27
I think I've got one on my website somewhere.
35:29
It'll take you from like, Let's just say like a 10 on the anxiety, scale
35:33
to like a six in a matter of minutes.
35:36
I'm an EFT practitioner so they've heard about this if they've listened
35:40
to like my deconditioning episodes.
35:42
It is life changing.
35:44
Yeah.
35:45
Life changing.
35:47
And, you can do it anywhere.
35:48
I mean, maybe not if you're both hands on the steering wheel,
35:50
but otherwise pretty close.
35:52
To the bathroom.
35:54
yeah.
35:54
Tap.
35:55
I do it all the time.
35:56
I
35:58
it's, and it seems like something that shouldn't work, but it does.
36:01
Also, I mean, this isn't something that I can do regularly for obvious
36:05
reasons, what I'm about to say, but plant medicine has been an amazing
36:09
tool for me to unlock a lot of crap.
36:11
Hypnosis and I don't mean anything like, going to see a hypnotist
36:15
and, dancing like an idiot on stage or something like I'll listen to an
36:19
eight minute hypnosis and it, oh, it just shifts my state right away.
36:23
Yeah, those have been two of the ones that have really been big for me though.
36:27
EFT and hypnosis.
36:28
Hypnosis.
36:29
I like better than meditation.
36:30
Even meditation.
36:31
I feel pressure hypnosis.
36:32
I don't,
36:33
I cycle through them.
36:34
It's like, what do I need right now?
36:36
What do I feel like I, what would feel nurturing and like what I need?
36:40
If I'm in anxiety and stuff like that, tapping all the way.
36:43
And breath work.
36:44
Breath work will work that out too.
36:46
But I like to cocktail them together sometimes.
36:48
Like a little tapping, little breath work.
36:50
And move that stuff right out.
36:52
But, this was so fun.
36:54
I'm so happy that you came here.
36:56
I'm so happy that we got to have this conversation and that we met at the event.
36:59
Events are great.
37:00
We meet the best people.
37:01
you really do.
37:02
I know.
37:02
, and it was funny cause you were someone I'd wanted to connect
37:05
with, the whole weekend after one of the girls staying with me and
37:07
connected with you the first night.
37:08
So it was meant to be, and this was so fun.
37:10
I love what you're doing too.
37:11
Bringing in the human design to.
37:14
Like the larger picture.
37:15
It's just, it's so validating and so just, it's really helpful.
37:20
I think we live a lot of our lives thinking we need to fit in a certain
37:23
box and do things the way that, do things the way other people do
37:26
them or say that we should do them.
37:28
And yeah, human design has just given me a permission slip to just be myself.
37:32
Feels really good.
37:34
I love that.
37:34
I always say I did a master class a couple years ago called
37:37
Permission to be Exceptional.
37:38
You are exceptional, you are a genius, and the permission slip
37:41
is to be exactly who you are.
37:44
That's how you get there.
37:45
It's not this achieving thing that we've gotten all wrapped up in.
37:49
Thank you for sharing everything that you shared, your journey,
37:52
your framework, your system.
37:54
Go buy the book, people!
37:56
It's called Higher Self Habits.
37:58
Tell everybody where they can stay in touch with you, where can they learn
38:01
more about you, what do you have going on, what do you want them to know.
38:04
Yeah.
38:05
I have a couple of free gifts for listeners too.
38:07
I mentioned your higher self becoming some, someone who is vividly clear
38:11
and real to you and you begin that journey by visualization.
38:15
And so I have a guided visualization that you can
38:18
download if you go to alaisiacitro.
38:21
com slash gift.
38:23
And on that page, there is also a free capability guide.
38:26
I mentioned earlier, people don't create habits because they're
38:29
making it hard without realizing it.
38:31
I help you look at the different components of capability
38:34
to make everything easy.
38:36
And then I'm most active on Instagram, so I would love to
38:38
connect with you over there.
38:39
Alacia Citro, two underscores because there are other Alacia
38:42
Citros, believe it or not.
38:43
And, , yeah, I would love to connect with you, hear how your journey's going.
38:46
If you read the book too, I want to hear how it's helping you.
38:49
It was a labor of love and the more people who are reading it and
38:52
sharing their takeaways with me, it's making me want to write another one.
38:55
So we'll
38:57
Oh, you heard it here first, everybody.
38:59
She's thinking of another one.
39:01
Thank you so much.
39:02
So we will link all of that up in the show notes for you.
39:04
You will not have to remember all of it.
39:05
Just go over to the show notes.
39:06
We will take you over there for her free gift to her website and to her Instagram.
39:10
Definitely connect with her.
39:12
She is a fabulous wealth of information.
39:15
For inspiration, thank you so much for being here.
39:18
Like I say, this truly was a pleasure to have you on the show.
39:22
I'm so excited and I'm excited for everybody to get to know you.
39:25
And thank you listener for making it all the way to the end
39:28
of this conversation with us.
39:29
We appreciate you.
39:30
And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must
39:33
first become an unshakable human.
39:35
So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design, everybody.
39:38
We'll see you next time.
39:40
If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show
39:42
us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to
39:45
the show and leave us a review.
39:46
And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human
39:49
design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
39:54
Go to nicolelaino.
39:55
me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human
39:59
design reading with me, or access our free human design resources.
40:03
We'll see you there.