Latest / Illinois Valley - Shaw Local / Paperwork: Kindness to strangers is not a big deal ... unless you’re the stranger
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: Paperwork. Kindness to strangers is not a big deal unless
- 0:08you're the stranger. Written by Lonnie Kane, This article is
- 0:14being read by an automated voice brought to you by Everlet.
- 0:19I was filling up the truck tank for the drive
- 0:21home when I saw him. A young woman at the
- 0:24gas pump ahead of me was doing the same. When
- 0:27I heard her say to him, I don't have any cash,
- 0:30he immediately turned and walked away past the other pumps.
- 0:33I quickly focused on my tank head down and wondered
- 0:36if he would ask me for money. He didn't. I
- 0:39was relieved. I'm not sure why. I wasn't ashamed until
- 0:42a short while later. I watched the pump rapidly tally
- 0:46the rising cost of fuel, but I wasn't moaning. I
- 0:49had cash in my wallet. I could have given that
- 0:51man a few bucks, but he had moved. It was
- 0:54early morning. We were leaving Denver after spending several days
- 0:57with two of our sons. A long drive was ahead.
- 1:00We also needed to fuel ourselves, and next door was
- 1:02a McDonald's. I pulled in and my wife went in
- 1:05to get those egg muffin things and much needed coffee.
- 1:08I was wondering about the weight when I saw her
- 1:10heading our way, food in a bag, which she handed
- 1:13to me as she climbed into the truck with a
- 1:15story to tell. Now I need to do something I
- 1:19have avoided in the past. I think it's time I
- 1:21introduce her as more than the wife. This is the
- 1:24perfect moment for you to meet Cindy, since she is
- 1:27an important part of this story. I'm transferring coffee into
- 1:31a travel mug. When Cindy tells me what just happened,
- 1:33I could tell it was important. She was trying not
- 1:36to cry for her, that's difficult. Her story went something
- 1:40like this. Cindy was ordering our breakfast when a man
- 1:43behind her asked if she had any cash to spare.
- 1:46She said no. Then he asked if she would buy
- 1:48him a breakfast burrito. She did, with one regret, I
- 1:52should have bought him a coffee also, she kept saying.
- 1:54During our drive. Cindy said it wasn't a feel good moment.
- 1:58She was overcome with sadness, Sad that the man had
- 2:01to beg for food, Sad that she didn't do more,
- 2:03sad that this man probably did this every day. Asked
- 2:07for help. I knew right away. The man she helped
- 2:10was likely the same man I saw at the gas
- 2:12station moments earlier. He needed money for food. I said
- 2:15earlier that he was begging, but was he is asking
- 2:18for help the same as begging. There are many who
- 2:22warn't against giving money away because it might be used
- 2:24to feed a habit such as drugs or alcohol, and
- 2:27that would be bad because drugs and booze are bad.
- 2:30Unless you have money, then not so much. But this
- 2:33man did want money to support a habit that we
- 2:35call eating. I'm not sure what I would have done
- 2:39if the guy had asked for cash while I was
- 2:41filling my gas tank. I think I would have given
- 2:43him some, Yet part of me was glad he did
- 2:46not ask. If he had tapped on the truck window
- 2:49to ask my wife, I suspect she would have pointed
- 2:51to me. The story could end there, but there's more
- 2:55to sweeten the hours of driving. We tune into podcasts,
- 2:58So a few hours later we're listening to Hidden Brain
- 3:02by shankra Vedantam, which airs on NPR, and the program
- 3:05A Secret Source of Connection was all about people helping others.
- 3:10Studies have uncovered what is called the pro sociality paradox.
- 3:13That means we downplay what we do for others, thinking
- 3:16it's no big deal. At the same time, we don't
- 3:18realize how much others appreciate acts of kindness, and kindness
- 3:23is contagious. Pay it Forward works. The discussion was fascinating
- 3:27and can easily be found online. It comes down to
- 3:30a quick lesson about giving. When you're helping someone, don't
- 3:34think about the task or if you can do it correctly.
- 3:37It's not about how much you can or cannot do.
- 3:40Think about how much the other person will appreciate the
- 3:43simple fact that you helped. That is what they remember
- 3:46and never forget. And then imagine that other person you're
- 3:50helping is you, even if your choice would not be
- 3:53the breakfast burrito. Lonnie Kane, retired managing editor of The
- 3:57Times in Ottawa, also was a reporter for the Herald
- 4:00News in Joliet in the nineteen seventies. His paperwork email
- 4:03is Lonniejcine at gmail dot com or mail the News
- 4:07Tribune for twenty six Second Street, LaSalle, Illinois, sixty one
- 4:10three zero one