Latest / We Are For Good Podcast - The Podcast for Nonprofits / 374. 9 Nonprofit Trends That Matter: Prioritizing Self Growth - Jonathan McCoy, CFRE, Becky Endicott, CFRE and Mallory Erickson

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374. 9 Nonprofit Trends That Matter: Prioritizing Self Growth - Jonathan McCoy, CFRE, Becky Endicott, CFRE and Mallory Erickson · We Are For Good Podcast - The Podcast for Nonprofits

• 0:01
  Jonathan McCoy: You need more than just technology to make a lasting change in this world.
• 0:03
  Jonathan McCoy: And that's why neon one offers a nonprofit platform that's designed to grow with you providing software and resources that help nonprofit professionals make their connections that matter.
• 0:14
  Jonathan McCoy: connections with their peers, connections with their supporters, and connections with their mission. Learn how neon one makes it easy to design amazing generosity experiences by visiting neon one.com/vr for good. Hey, I'm John.
• 0:31
  Becky Endicott: And I'm Becky.
• 0:32
  Jonathan McCoy: And this is the We Are For Good podcast.
• 0:34
  Becky Endicott: Nonprofits are faced with more challenges to accomplish their missions and the growing pressure to do more, raise more and be more for the causes that improve our world.
• 0:43
  Jonathan McCoy: We're here to learn with you from some of the best in the industry, bringing the most innovative ideas, inspirational stories, all to create an impact uprising.
• 0:52
  Becky Endicott: So welcome to the good community. We're nonprofit professionals, philanthropist, world changers and rabid fans who are striving to bring a little more goodness into the world.
• 1:03
  Jonathan McCoy: So let's get started. Becky, what's happening?
• 1:06
  Becky Endicott: Welcome back.
• 1:06
  Becky Endicott: It's time to dive in. And I'm so excited.
• 1:11
  Jonathan McCoy: Yeah. Okay, so it's Friday. So first of all, Happy Friday to you, you are catching us on week two of our new series for the new year.
• 1:17
  Jonathan McCoy: It's all about the nonprofit trends that we think really matter for this year. And this is not your typical Trends list.
• 1:23
  Jonathan McCoy: This is like things that we have connected between hundreds of conversations here on the podcast and offline and the DMS of our community and just looking at what really is moving the needle, what meets the moment. And here's a word that keeps coming up that we just want to tone set all these conversations with evolve. And if you are going into this year with scarcity, with looking around at everything that feels like it is gloom and doom on the media right now, it can feel completely overwhelming. But if you go in with an open mind that this is the year that you're going to evolve, and you're going to figure out the assets that you have and figure out your people that are surrounding your work, and figure out how you can lean into this work in a really sustainable way. It becomes like really exciting.
• 2:06
  Jonathan McCoy: And I think that's the tone that we want to go into all these conversations. And so if this is your first Friday, go back and listen to last Friday's to give you an overview. But today we're going to go deep dive into Trend number one, which is self growth.
• 2:19
  Becky Endicott: And guys, we're giving you permission, because maybe you're waiting on it, to say it's okay to invest in yourself, it's okay to make time and space for yourself. We know it feels like you're the dog, you know, that's typing with the world burning down all around you on occasion, maybe in your nonprofit. But we're saying this is the year to evolve, this is the year to pour into yourself.
• 2:41
  Becky Endicott: And we've got a little roadmap for you for personal growth for this season. So here's a little bit of framework. And it's got six steps right here. One, we want you to celebrate where you are right now, push pause, you know, and think about what you've accomplished, not only in 2022. But as you kind of come out of this pandemic, what we have done to get to the point that we are personally and professionally needs to be paused and celebrated. Now, number two is we want you to set intentions to align your habits and actions around what you want to accomplish both personally and professionally. Because we believe developing habits is a great practice, you know better than setting just a bunch of goals that you want to do. But what's something that you can habitually pour into? That becomes just a part of who you are, you know, what does that look like is there you know, stepping away and giving yourself rest for years there once a month that you come in, and you pour into a certain webinar or a podcast series, find whatever that intention and habit it is, and start putting it into practice. Maybe you have a word for the year. Is it a goal a lot of people do vision boards are a feeling lean into how you find that inspiration and wrap the habit around it.
• 3:53
  Becky Endicott: And number three, advocate for yourself, I want you to do what we call a left handed move, which is something that is entirely uncomfortable and awkward to us, which is walking up to your leader and saying you know what? This is the year I really want to pour into myself in my learning. And here are the things I want to do. That's a time where you either ask for budget or you ask for support.
• 4:19
  Becky Endicott: And if there's nothing in the budget for y'all, it's okay.
• 4:22
  Becky Endicott: There are plenty of free resources, free summits, you've got podcast spaces, blogs, there are ways to self learn and we are here to help equip you.
• 4:30
  Becky Endicott: Number four, create space for yourself. You and your team need space, quiet rest and distance.
• 4:42
  Becky Endicott: It may seem antithetical but having that space allows you to get more creative. It fuels these new ideas and energy that comes in when you're constantly on. You know, just that beating that drum and always feeling like you have a million things and tactics to do on your bucket list. It's like that can distract you from the space that we just need some time to dream.
• 5:06
  Becky Endicott: And think about where we want to go and push our mission. So we're not doing the same old thing. Number five, don't give yourself a deadline, we are giving you that gift. Because self growth is an ongoing process. It's not a to do list.
• 5:19
  Becky Endicott: And the last thing is, share what you're learning, share it and community, share it with your team, share it for sure with your boss, if you're having great insights, things are working, bubble that all the way up to the board, push it out to your community, ask people to join you. And I really think that we can make personal growth, something that's a habit and it's trending for all of us.
• 5:42
  Jonathan McCoy: I mean, okay, that's such a good playbook. And this is all going to be in the show notes. If you want to go back over those six, I feel like that's such a good starting place. But in all these conversations on Fridays, we also want to point you to people that are doing it really well.
• 5:55
  Jonathan McCoy: And so today I want to lift one of our favorite episodes and people is Tanisha Nash lair. Oh
• 6:01
  Becky Endicott: Tanisha.
• 6:02
  Jonathan McCoy: I know, she's just like, such an incredible energy and force for good. And you know, when she was starting at the Newark Symphony Hall, she's now starting this incredible new path of her career, but she was talking about coming into an organization. And you know, what's one of the first moves as a leader. A lot of times we think about people just having decisions before they've even met people, or maybe they have preconceived ideas. But she started this listening to her and started understanding where people were at. And her first move was putting together a professional development plan for everybody on the team. And that's the kind of evolve leadership that's prioritizing self growth that we want to lift. And think about lifting this year in our own organizations, she had a really powerful quote that said, your current situation is not your final destination, and what a quote to hang our hats on, as we kind of start this year. But look at this, think about this, it has to be intentional. And so as we're starting the year, what's the plan for yourself?
• 6:57
  Jonathan McCoy: And what's the plan for your team? And how can you kind of help shepherd those conversations along,
• 7:03
  Becky Endicott: you know, we can't talk about any of these trends without arming you with some pro tips, because it's one thing to learn. But it's another thing to activate. And the first tip is release the burden of guilt, that you're spending too much time on yourself. We are pre conditioned to feel badly about spending time on ourselves. Because we should be pouring into the mission into the people on the front line into this to do list of a litany of things to do no more, you are worthy of this time, please release that guilt and shame and embrace this evolution that can become you. The second one is make a 1% shift somewhere in your life, you may start somewhere small, but the important thing is just to start, maybe just start with one podcast, perhaps your the fact that you're here is showing that you're already leaned into that.
• 7:51
  Becky Endicott: Maybe start a blog, maybe start listening and following someone on LinkedIn. But the intention is to start. And then the other thing is really put something on your calendar that says this is a priority for me, whether that's once a month, you're pouring into something, maybe it's a cohort that you're getting involved in, maybe it's taking time to read some newsletters, put that on your calendar, because there's always going to be 1,000,001 reasons why you don't have time to pour into learning important to yourself, you are worthy of it.
• 8:20
  Becky Endicott: And we're giving you that gift in 2023 to make it a priority.
• 8:24
  Jonathan McCoy: And my friends, we wouldn't want to have these conversations in our own echo chamber, which is why we've designed this series for the next nine Fridays, to not just share what we're seeing and share the pro tips and kind of these examples, but also invite the most powerhouse of friends and people back to the podcast to give us their advice and what they're seeing and really some actual things. So we're gonna quote Mallory Erickson, and said, we decided to just have her back on the phone.
• 8:51
  Becky Endicott: And if you're new to the podcast, you just need to know that Mallory is one of those individuals that we absolutely lean on to tell us about what is working right now in the modern day nonprofits.
• 9:02
  Becky Endicott: She has an incredible business.
• 9:05
  Becky Endicott: We hope you go check it out at Mallory erickson.com, where she is really out there successfully coaching hundreds of fundraisers in organizations to increase their fundraising capacity by combining like their tactical fundraising expertise with the best executive coaching out there. What does that mean? It makes that Mallory helps you feel good about going out and moving money faster. She has coached us personally as a team and every time we share space with her, we lean in and learn from her expertise and leadership. So she is the founder of power partners formula and we are so delighted she is back in our house for the three peat Hi now
• 9:45
  Jonathan McCoy: they're fifth P
• 9:49
  Mallory Erickson: I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for that very generous introduction. I'm thrilled I love you guys. And I love the pod so happy happy to be here.
• 9:57
  Jonathan McCoy: I mean we were joking that you are Our phone a friend, but I feel like that's what you are. Because when you speak, like the world stops, and we listen because you just have a way to like look at the psychology underneath and like pair that with like the heart and the human aspect of this.
• 10:13
  Jonathan McCoy: And so I'm really excited to have you at the first part of this series, we look about personal growth. So I'd love for you to just help start set the tone with your initial thoughts about where are we at in this moment? And what would you tell nonprofit leaders regarding self growth?
• 10:26
  Mallory Erickson: Yeah, well, maybe the first thing I would say is that I think we have this image when we think when we use terms like self growth, sometimes what comes into my mind is almost as if I'm not enough right now. And I need to grow into being bigger, right.
• 10:42
  Mallory Erickson: And we sometimes I think self growth in the nonprofit sector becomes a lot of shutting, I should be able to do X, I should be able to feel differently. And it actually ultimately holds us back and it creates more resistance. And so maybe the first tone I would set is that self growth is not about any level of inadequacy around where you are right now. It's how do you become the next version of yourself, the next iteration of yourself, you know, when a tree is growing? It doesn't mean the version of it right now is not beautiful, but it's going to have a next version and the next version and the next version.
• 11:27
  Mallory Erickson: And that when I really think about self growth and personal growth, it's about that, like, how do I want to shift? Where do I want to lean into Where's something, a pattern that keeps coming up for me that I think could look different. And so just to enter into the conversation with some curiosity, some self love and appreciation with it feels very counterintuitive, that acceptance fuels growth, but that's the truth like self, that self acceptance, self love, that's the fertilizer for your trees growth. And the end, the tough love the beating yourself up the should, that's gonna stop it dead in its tracks. So I'll start us there.
• 12:10
  Becky Endicott: I mean, right out of the gate, Mallory gives us a free mom hug, and allows you to just kind of take a step back, I really do appreciate that. Because I think grounding ourselves in the journey of where we've been, and how far we've come is a really important variable, because we move so fast, that we sometimes just forget to celebrate and honor, you know, how we're growing as human beings. And so you and I have a lot of conversations about self growth, one on one, and I want you to kind of share with the audience, what does it self growth mean to you? And how has this shifted throughout your career in a way that we think others might be able to relate?
• 12:52
  Mallory Erickson: Well, I think, you know, one is about the relationship between healing and self growth, which is, I think, a little bit around what I was saying before that sort of acceptance and self love piece.
• 13:04
  Mallory Erickson: I think, for me, I really did think that self growth was these other checkboxes that I needed to fill out, right, as I sort of lumped self growth into professional development, right, it was like I need to, I need to grow, I need to change I need to develop. And when I think now my journey with self growth with personal growth, a lot of it is about the unlearning about the healing the parts of me that get in the way of me being able to have the relationships that I want to have, or to do the scary thing that I know I want to do, but I'm feeling so much resistance around. And it's so much of it. And we've talked about this before on the podcast, too. It's about removing the barriers to the action that we want to take, I always have thought about it.
• 13:58
  Mallory Erickson: And that's sort of why I framed it up that way at the beginning, like I've always thought about self growth as an additive practice. I think what I believe today is that it's also a lot about removal and healing, removing the parts of us that have become a part of our journey, because of our history because of our childhood because of our trauma. Recognizing that they're they're not shaming them for being there. But understanding making conscious decisions about who we want to become how we want to show up.
• 14:26
  Mallory Erickson: And then being honest about the things we need to lean into to do that, and the things we need to remove to have access to that to
• 15:11
  Jonathan McCoy: Okay, the universe is telling us something because I feel like we keep coming back to this that it's like, this is not additive. I love that you're camping out on that. And I do feel the exhale that I always get when I get to hang with my friend now. And I appreciate that because it's really easy, especially in the nonprofit space where typically we don't have all the resources or the people that we feel like we need to do all these aspirational things like starting from that place is really, I think, helpful on all fronts. So I'm curious, like, as we start to get into some of the practical examples of this, what are some good exercises that you've seen leaders or teams? do is they set goals around their self growth for the upcoming year?
• 15:51
  Mallory Erickson: Hmm. Yeah, I mean, I think one is that self growth, both the goal setting around it and the actual growth cannot happen in a time compressor. We are not creative, we are not in touch with our bodies, we are not in touch with our deepest selves when we are on the clock. And we have a countdown to finish our goal setting for the year. And so the first thing I would recommend is really giving your staff and yourself time alone spaciousness. Give them a day, to wander around in the woods, or to sit on the beach, or to lie in the rain, depending on where you are, you know, it's kind of cold in certain places.
• 16:35
  Mallory Erickson: Thanks for guys something
• 16:37
  Jonathan McCoy: applicable.
• 16:40
  Mallory Erickson: Like the beach or something that gives you space, things come through when there is space. And so if you want your staff to really be able to think about their deep desires for who they want to be, and how they want to show up, and you want them to tap into themselves, they need space to do it. That's the first thing.
• 17:04
  Mallory Erickson: The other thing I would really suggest is number one, for leaders to recognize that your level of vulnerability and openness around your personal and professional growth is how much openness you're allowing for your team. So to ask your team to share vulnerably, how they're trying to grow who they're trying to be without you doing it, too, is an absolutely unfair and unrealistic expectation. So you decide psychological safety is not a term, it's a feeling. It's an experience, it's a culture that we create, you cannot say this is a safe place, and then ask people to share their vulnerabilities you lead by example. And so as the leader, the first call to action is for you to get really clear about your growth and your growing edges. And these should not be things that you will definitely achieve, they should be the things that you deeply desire.
• 18:10
  Mallory Erickson: And you're going to start to work towards, I think sometimes when we make these lists, we're like, we kind of do it with a little bit of like, buy definitely want to make sure that my list is realistic. And I'm going to be able to check all these boxes by the end of the year and say that I grew in these ways, true deep self growth like that work. That's a, that's a journey. There's no moment where you're like, Oh, yay, I'm done growing. And hopefully, I don't think he eras. Yeah. And so I think like recognizing that the level of deep thinking that you're going to invite around this starts with you. Those are a few of my kind of initial thoughts.
• 18:50
  Becky Endicott: Here's the thing about now that I've valued so deeply. Not only is she hella smart, and she brings like these frameworks that are understandable, but they're simple guys. Like we we're not talking about self growth in a way that you have to have an extravagant plan, and a series of mentors and coaches, and all of these tactical things, even removing that and just saying, These are the desires of your heart. This is what you know, you want to excavate the unsaid within you, and what is inside.
• 19:22
  Becky Endicott: And that is going to lead you to purpose. And I'm just thinking about what a Precipitable shift that would be in culture, and leadership and psychological safety, and personal and personal growth for a leader to start sharing vulnerably to create space for pause and to even let people know it's okay to embrace the pause and sit in the quiet because I can tell you, I'm 20 years into nonprofit and it's been a straight sprint, since I hit the ground. I don't remember a lot of times in my career where we just paused and I'm thinking a lot about values and beliefs. And this is something you and I have wax philosophical on in the past because there's a huge trend in the sector right now with all this sort of, some of it is vague lip service around how we need to embrace failure or don't be transactional or you need to implement your values. But these things are really hard to do. So talk to us about how we evolve with our values in the space.
• 20:31
  Becky Endicott: What are the questions we ask and we're concerned Someone start on that journey like today, if they're saying I'm willing to take that first step.
• 20:40
  Mallory Erickson: Yeah. Okay, I want to get to that. And I want to say one thing about what you just said that I think is so important, which is, if you don't know where to start with your deep desires, because I was just having this conversation with someone yesterday that when I felt so disembodied and disconnected from myself, it was really hard for me to be able to say what I wanted, who I wanted to be like, that did not feel accessible. So if you're hearing this, and you're feeling that, here's where you can start, what are some patterns that continually make you feel like you're banging your head against the wall, what's happening, like what keeps happening that makes you in your head, say, I can't believe I'm here. Again, I can't believe this is happening again, if you could remove those, you know, pick two of those patterns. If you could remove those two patterns, you would feel like a different leader or fundraiser or whatever, and then get curious around those. What might it take to start to shift that experience for you? What might it take? What is an area where you could grow in terms of your and I don't say resilience, like the put your head down and work harder resilience? But what How can you say, what might it take for you to be able to shift your experience with that pattern? Oh, it might take me learning how to calm down when something doesn't go my way.
• 22:05
  Mallory Erickson: Okay, what does it look like to calm down not in the way we tell other people to calm down when we're uncomfortable, but what does actually mean to calm down?
• 22:15
  Mallory Erickson: Okay, it means to get my body in a more grounded state, because that makes me really flustered.
• 22:18
  Mallory Erickson: And then I can't make decisions.
• 22:22
  Mallory Erickson: Okay, so Google, what are grounding exercises. So I think starting with the pain points, if you can't identify where you want to go, can be really helpful line of questioning to drive you there. So I just wanted to make sure people feel like they have an access point, even if they don't know that other piece yet. And then, okay, the surface level piece, I think the reality is, we need to be honest, as a sector, about what we're encouraging people to do with the words we say, and what we're allowing people to do with the structures we set up. So to tell people to fail fast, and give one year of grant funding, that is not a structural condition, that is going to allow that team to embrace failure, because they are going to be too worried about losing the funding and not getting it the next year, giving an organization a five year runway.
• 23:33
  Mallory Erickson: And saying we want to see we want to be on this journey with you, we know that the beginning is going to involve some failure and some really important learning and we are with you and we are in this with you. That's how you match the words to the structure. We can't say we want our staff to be less stressed, and not take things off their plate. We cannot just continue to to press people further and further and further and tell them to just tough it out or get over it or try harder or but you're committed to the mission, aren't you and expect that their nervous system is not going to go wild. We are separating in the way we talk about in my opinion, the way we talk about failure, the way we talk about innovation, we are disconnecting the head from the heart and the body. And in doing that we're able to have all these really interesting theoretical conversations around what would it look like if we were a sector that embrace failure? But what does it feel like to be in a sector that embraces failure?
• 24:40
  Mallory Erickson: What does it feel like in our bodies to know that we are safe when we fail? That requires an entirely different recalibration of how we talk to each other, support each other, give space to each other fun to each other.
• 24:58
  Mallory Erickson: And until we start to really live out those values. We're just at the surface of those conversations.
• 25:07
  Becky Endicott: John, the applause queued up.
• 25:12
  Jonathan McCoy: Goodness, I mean this I feel like it's the exact lens you're putting on the psychological safety. Yeah, we're given like heart eyes on this because it's moving beyond like, what's the trendy cool thing to say to try to make yourself a cultural, great place to work and actually doing the work and having the space to I guess have the conversations to explore it?
• 25:34
  Becky Endicott: Are you or your organization exploring your options or planning a tech purchase this year?
• 25:38
  Jonathan McCoy: Whether it's a new CRM system digital ads or marketing support, we'd love to introduce you to some of our trusted friends in the sector who are delivering some of the most innovative and easy to use tech in the sector.
• 25:48
  Becky Endicott: Not only does this help our hearts know that our we're for good friends are getting that VIP experience in this journey. But your referral helps us power more free content into this good community.
• 25:58
  Jonathan McCoy: So if you're considering your options, or you just need a starting place, our team is here to help connect with us visit we are for good.com/refer or even just shoot us a DM that's weird for good.com/refer.
• 26:21
  Jonathan McCoy: Hey, friends, do you want or need a plan to reach your fundraising goals this year? Or maybe you're looking for a playbook for how to show up with more confidence as nonprofit leader
• 26:29
  Becky Endicott: take your skills competence and impact through the roof and 2023 Join us Inside we are for goods professional development experience and community and We Are For Good PRO.
• 26:40
  Jonathan McCoy: So inside you'll find workshops and live coaching events with Becky and myself.
• 26:42
  Jonathan McCoy: And you'll even see some of your favorite past podcasts yes to
• 26:47
  Becky Endicott: get activated today at we are for good.com backslash learn
• 26:57
  Jonathan McCoy: something that keeps popping in my head in this conversation that I heard from this mentor that's from afar I wish I knew him in person. But he mentors me from afar, that when you feel stuck, it's really more of a time to get still. And I just think like, I'm feeling that coming into the year feeling stuck in a lot of places. And I know the more we're creating space to like you encourage is like getting out and literally going for a walk and literally trying to distance ourselves to have to be able to feel what we're actually feeling and get in touch with that is incredibly critical. And I just I appreciate you giving us the permission not that we needed it. So more the reminder and the words to be able to go have these conversations because it's so powerful.
• 27:38
  Becky Endicott: Can I share two little things that I'm doing this year that are completely left handed moves for me. But I'm we're really trying to normalize rest and balance. And I am trying meditation for the first time ever. I'm on day four, y'all it is the most hilarious thing to probably watch. Becky with her crazy Speed Racer mind trying to meditate my my therapist, and I were joking about it yesterday.
• 28:05
  Becky Endicott: But it gets easier. And the longer I mean, I can do it 20 seconds longer each day. And and learning how to quiet the mind.
• 28:13
  Becky Endicott: And just get in self is a really powerful thing. The other thing that I've had to do, these are just hacks, I've had to put 210 minute breaks on my calendar, or 15 minute breaks, one in the morning and one in the afternoon to ensure that I stop and get up and walk around and get in the sunshine and play with the dog and take a couple of breaths.
• 28:33
  Becky Endicott: And I have noticed already a shift in how just breathing makes us feel. And so this may be a little woowoo for all of you. And I have to tell you, I would have been one of those people 10 years ago saying this is way too woowoo. But it feels better to live and work this way. And I want to thank you for pulling all of that in and giving us a starting point.
• 28:57
  Mallory Erickson: I mean, I think the reality is, is that it's not woowoo. Like there is so much science to support this, it might feel woowoo but it's not I mean, what's essentially happening when we are in those activated states when we're in shiny object syndrome, or we're in paralysis. Those are both nervous system activation states. So perfectionism, shiny object syndrome, that scattered experience that we feel in the nonprofit sector. That is a flight, nervous system response.
• 29:31
  Mallory Erickson: When we are paralyzed, overwhelmed, can't make decisions can't take action, ruminating, we are in a freeze response. Both of these are very important biological responses to keep us safe in the wild. But our modern day brain cannot tell the difference between a funder saying no and a bear eating us in the woods. And so it is not geared for today. It is not geared for today. And so what's happening is that our nervous system gets activated totally understandably, by these very real painful experiences, right rejection, being ghosted, being ghosted. You guys like we lose our sense of belonging. There's so much science there was this research study actually makes me really sad to talk about it but where there were these babies and they were playing with their moms and then they would have the moms go totally stone faced.
• 30:29
  Mallory Erickson: And the babies would freak out.
• 30:34
  Mallory Erickson: out, because they were losing their sense of belonging, they were losing the feedback from the mom in that moment, they would lose their sense of identity so fast. Our need for identity is faster than water.
• 30:45
  Mallory Erickson: And food, it is immediate. And when we are ghosted by donor, we are losing that sense of identity, our nervous system is activated. Am I here? Do I exist? Did you get it? Do you care? Am I a person. And so we put fundraisers, we put nonprofit leaders in these positions to have their nervous systems activated. And then we give them zero space to talk about it. We don't normalize at all, how emotionally challenging this is. And then I think we do something even worse, we put them in this position to say Don't take it so personally, but definitely take this pay because of how much you believe in exactly. And so what do we expect? What do we expect people to do, they stay in that nervous six system activated state, because it is not safe for them to come back to equilibrium. And in those both of those nervous system states, shiny object syndrome, and scattered fundraising, and paralysis and perfectionism. No, the best work is not happening, their creative work is not happening, their innovation is not happening, they're at you know, failure is not happening there. So if we are not going to allow and create spaces, for nonprofit leaders to be their actual embodied step cells, not activated nervous system selves, then we're not going to have access to the dreams we have for the sector, personal growth, personal development, these things are not a nice to have, they are not a separate thing from their fundraising results.
• 32:27
  Mallory Erickson: So it cannot be like focus on the strategy, do all these things make all these phone calls, and get back up again, after the rejection without any support around their own, you know, nervous system, personal development, coaching tools. And I think we've treated it so often, like it's this secondary thing, when it's really the core of their ability to realize all of their goals to actually realize the fundraising strategy that we have. I think a lot about fundraisers, I mentioned trees before and how a five foot tree is beautiful and a 10 foot tree is beautiful. What's so important about trees of all sizes are their roots, and the size of their roots match the size of their branches. And so if you want to see your fundraising capacity increase, you want to see your budget increase, you have to build deeper roots. And that's where the personal development comes in. And you're going to see that in the numbers, they are not separate. They are core, I so deeply believe that fundraiser wellness is at the center of fundraiser enablement. And until we realize that, and until we build that into fundraising, we're going to continue to fall short and get frustrated and not figure out why we can't figure this fundraising thing out.
• 33:55
  Jonathan McCoy: Okay, man, now, like I'm feeling energized by this conversation, but I know there's gonna be a lot of people listening to that just feel like they're in a culture that doesn't mirror that or maybe they're feeling the difference of what's being said, and what's played out. And so I want to just throw this in there for people that are looking for their next thing, as they find alignment and what they want in their own life this year with their manifesting through their actions. What about, you know, when is the right time to go find a different opportunity to pursue when's the right time to like, lean into saying, I'm gonna go find a place that prioritizes the healthy culture that I want to be part of?
• 34:31
  Mallory Erickson: I mean, look, I think there's two sides to this. One is that I think people have to make and set their own boundaries and their own tolerance. And it's so hard without knowing what's happening inside an organization to say, what's the threshold of enoughness, right? Because that isn't it's different between organizations and it's different between people. We are all activated by different scenarios and what what might not be so bad for me might be really bad for someone else because of their lived experience. And so I feel like one giving everyone the credit that like you don't need to justify when you've had enough. You don't owe anyone you do not you do not need to justify when it is enough for you when it is enough for you.
• 35:15
  Mallory Erickson: It is enough for you. And if you feel like you have the capacity to advocate inside your organization, my recommendation would be to try I do see a lot of nonprofit leaders leave because they're uncomfortable with the confrontation. But I am She believes they hold a lot of power for shifting the culture.
• 35:35
  Mallory Erickson: And so they leave and they pull themselves to another organization without giving the organization an opportunity to write itself. Now, sometimes, you know, based on how toxic the workplace is, and the leader is that that is not possible. And so again, your judgment you're in there is number one. But I also think it's like checking in with yourself and saying, Is there anything that I would like to do before I go, because here's the great thing about deciding that you're going to leave, you got nothing left to lose? Yeah. So if you make the decision that like my option here, like I need to leave, I can't be in this environment anymore, then you have two options, still change the environment or leave. Either way, the current environment is no longer available to you. So you've already made that decision. And you still have two options, see if you can change the environment, or leave. And so I think that can help because I really do believe I don't believe the burden of this should be falling on nonprofit employees. But I do believe nonprofit employees have power that they aren't necessarily tapping into. So it's like a both and
• 36:47
  Becky Endicott: I'm just feeling like you are rising to meet the moment right now, we have talked to so many people in the community right now who are struggling with where they're at, they're struggling and nonprofit, and their people were just struggling. And it's like, it's time to just take advantage of making time for yourself. And I want to tell you, it's okay.
• 37:08
  Becky Endicott: And I know we have been wired not to that we have been wired to pour into everybody around us. But we're telling you, if you can just take the time to pour in here, you're going to be able to pour so much into the things that you care about and the people that you care about while still being a healthy human. So thank you for all of this Mal, you know, we're gonna wrap this up with a one good thing. Can you throw us just give us a zinger, you know, for this conversation. Sure, bring it on. No pressure, she's gonna bring us luck with a one good thing, tie it all together.
• 37:46
  Mallory Erickson: I think as you think about personal growth, and as you think about professional growth, to not try to silo the pieces of your humaneness. I think that your body is here, your brain is here, your heart is here. And I think so much of when we feel so flustered. I feel like it's because all of those things are sitting in different compartments, and we don't know how to bring them back together. And so if you're in that moment, we try to solve stressful situations in our brain, right in cognition. But that's what created the stressful situation in the first place. So maybe the answer isn't there. Maybe the answer like Becky were saying is getting still. Maybe the answer is putting your hands on your chest. Maybe the answer is looking in the mirror and touching your face and wash it washing your face and as your fingers touch your skin. Try to feel your fingers from your faces perspective. Have you ever noticed that when you put your hands on your face, you always feel it from your fingers?
• 38:54
  Mallory Erickson: You're the giver? What if you received it? How can you close your eyes and feel the touch from your faces perspective?
• 39:04
  Mallory Erickson: Everyone who's listening to this you are you are helpers you are givers you are do gooders. You have to create space to receive from yourself and from others, it's going to fuel you. And you can't solve repeatable patterns with the same types of solutions. So if it is not solvable in your head, tap into your heart tap into your body.
• 39:28
  Mallory Erickson: I'll tell you I need you told me one good thing. I'm gonna give you one other thing that I do, I'm sorry.
• 39:40
  Mallory Erickson: But one other thing you can do sometimes when I feel like I don't know what I really want to round something, I stand up. I put my hands on my chest and I asked myself a question. Like, do I really want to go blank?
• 39:54
  Mallory Erickson: And if my body moves forward, the answer is yes. And if my body moves back the answer is no. And do this for yourself the first time with a really basic question like Am I a mom and see what your natural natural YES and NO is? And then that's your body that your body can answer you. Do I want to leave my job?
• 40:15
  Mallory Erickson: Put your hands on your chest, ground your feet to the floor stand up. Close your eyes, ask the question and see which way your body sways. If you're on there saying oh but Mallory like you could trick your body in it.
• 40:31
  Mallory Erickson: Okay, guess what that is your sub on chest talking to you, there is no trickery here.
• 40:35
  Mallory Erickson: Whichever way your body moves is what you deeply want. And it's letting other parts of you come come online to help you answer.
• 40:42
  Mallory Erickson: So if your spreadsheet with pros and cons is not working for you, you can't just keep working on that spreadsheet to have it worked for you. You need to tap into other ways of knowing. So open up space to receive open up pathways for others. Other ways of knowing you are all intuitive, heart centered people, you have access to so much wisdom, so much wisdom. And it's it's right behind that scattered frantic nervous system energy.
• 41:16
  Jonathan McCoy: I'm grateful for you, my friend
• 41:18
  Becky Endicott: was so loved and centered. Thank you so much.
• 41:21
  Becky Endicott: Now.
• 41:23
  Mallory Erickson: My pleasure.
• 41:23
  Mallory Erickson: Thanks for inviting me to talk about this.
• 41:27
  Jonathan McCoy: I mean, we can point you to all the ways to find Mallory, but you don't want to miss her podcast what the fundraising all the ways you show up online, this is the way Mallory shows up. Yeah, every time I engage with her online like this is how she served. So go find her. Is there anything specifically you want to lift today, man, I mean, you have so many cool things happening. So I just want to give you the floor of how the best way to connect with you.
• 41:49
  Mallory Erickson: Yeah, if you are interested, the primary way to see the intersection to work with me on the intersection of executive coaching and behavior and habit change and fundraising strategy is through my signature course the power partners formula, you can go over to Mallory erickson.com backslash power partners, but it is really inner weaving everything that I talked about today with fundraising strategies. So we acknowledge when we're giving you a specific strategy that is likely going to activate your nervous system, you are being you are being given coaching tools in that moment, to bring you back into a grounded state before you click Send on that email. So it really is the best way that I could figure out how to scale and show up as a coach for so many folks. And then you also get to work with me live twice a month on live coaching calls. So it's such an honor to get to work for so many fundraisers that way,
• 42:42
  Becky Endicott: don't walk run to that course. That's how groundbreaking and revolutionary it is. And I want to put in just a plug that if you're not ready to get into a course or get into intentional work, which we hope you will do, go follow Mao because she drops these nuggets of gold all the time, LinkedIn, tick tock Instagram, it will just send to you in less than three minutes and get you back on that train to go out and do good work. So thank you my friend.
• 43:12
  Julie Confer: Hey, friends, thanks so much for being here.
• 43:14
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• 43:45
  Julie Confer: Thanks friends. I'm our producer Julie confer and our theme song is Sunray by Remy Borsboom