Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 19. Staying True To You: The Color Your Dreams® Approach

Transcript

19. Staying True To You: The Color Your Dreams® Approach · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: To my fellow millennials and just fellow humans in general, I do not need to tell you how much we've gone through in our lives, our whole life, and let alone since 2020.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: And while we've gone through so much, not just individually but collectively as a community, I think it's also been a gift.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: A gift for us that when something has happened, we've had this high level of awareness of asking ourselves, are we staying true to ourselves?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: And in this podcast episode, I'm sharing the Call Your Dreams approach of how you can continue to stay true to you.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: So this episode highly suggests getting a pen to paper to take soon notes because you're gonna get a lot of reflective questions and action you are going to take.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, technically you get that from every episode, but you're gonna get that a lot from this.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: So let's drop the beat.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hey legacy maker, I'm your host and MC, Elaine Lucartis, business and career coach for Women of Color and Allies.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And welcome to the Call Your Dreams podcast, where we have conscious conversations to help you create a business or career that is sustainable, abundant, and equitable to the lifestyle you deserve.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because our ancestors sacrificed so much so we can have this life of choice.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, grab your coffee, tea, and boba, and let's call your dreams too.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Create your legacy.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we're a little over two years in this pandemic.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm recording this episode on May 31st, 2022.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't believe that it's been a little over two years.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: And despite how difficult it has been, and yes, I believe the pandemic and COVID is real, it's also been a gift.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by that, it's really shaken us to ask ourselves are we staying true to ourselves, both in a societal and individual level?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: So in terms of our culture, our nation, in society, obviously Black lives matter.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's one.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Two, stopping Asian American Pacific Islander hate.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Third, defending legislation for women's rights.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, the war happening in Ukraine.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then fifth, most recently, with the day that I'm recording this, a lot of unfortunately gun violence that is happening.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's a lot.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've been talking to my clients as well as even to my own therapists, that not only have we gone through like our own individual situational trauma, but there's also the collective trauma of everything that has happened in the past two years alone.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not even talking about like toddler years, our younger years.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And individually, just recently in the past years, we've been even seeing a shift in the workforce.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: According to Harvard Business Review, 47 million Americans quit their jobs in 2021.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And according to NPR, 5.4 million people started new businesses in 2021.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And you know how many in 2020?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: 4.4 million.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we've been hearing so much about the great resignation.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And really, it's us individually and as a collective, really asking ourselves, are we staying true to ourselves?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And we can no longer do what our baby boomer parents have taught us, right?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: To just push through.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: There was that promise that our parents had in their generation, where if you do the hard work, you get rewarded, right?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Pension plans, social security.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it's changed for our generation where we're really truly listening to ourselves.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And what a gift, right?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: What a privilege, what a luxury that we are able to listen to ourselves ask and have this high level of awareness where are we truly fulfilled and happy?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually in the middle of taking a trauma-informed certification with Adria Moses.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's called The Radical School of Healing.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'll make sure I put it in the show notes.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm reading this book called The Body Keeps Score.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And in the book, it really is about hey, our body knows and are we brave enough to listen, to heal from it, and to take the aligned action to be aligned to ourselves.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we say true to ourselves?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in this episode, I want to introduce you to my color your dreams approach.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's how I coach my clients and how I actually want to support you in this podcast episode.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's four pillars.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: There is no particular order.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: It really depends on your current situation, lived experience, and what makes most sense for you.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to let you know, pause right now in this episode, go take a notebook because I have questions.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, if you have been listening to this color your dreams podcast, you know I'm going to be asking you questions, reflective questions, taking action.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I have questions I'm going to be asking you that will be so helpful for you to start taking aligned action.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And this color your dreams approach, it's adaptable where you are.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And there's no pressure to do it at any timeline that doesn't honor you.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: The intention is to stay true to you within each pillar I share.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you got your notebook, pen and paper to take notes.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I prefer that over to be honest, typing, put a note section.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's actually research that shows when you are going pen to paper, writing it down, you remember it more because you are using your hand, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Touch and also reading, insight, and also you don't get distracted when you're doing pen to paper.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're not looking at an app, even though technically you're listening to this podcast episode on your phone or computer.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, I digress.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go back to the colored juice approach.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So the first pillar is what is your personal legacy, the life you lead and the future you create.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: We live in such a westernized culture where we are measured by productivity.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: But when we die, and when we even think if you've lived in this planet for a while now, we unfortunately have lost loved ones.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And when we think about those last moments with them, it's not necessarily, oh man, my grandma, my grandpa, my uncle, they really worked a lot, right?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's the memories that we've had with them.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Last year I lost my grandma.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about all the memories I had when I was a kid when she taught me how to sleep, how to wash dishes, because that's what she really wanted me to do.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: She was training me to, you know, to take care of a home.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: So going back to your personal legacy, these are questions I want to ask you.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: How do you see your life holistically?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want your life to look like when you're spending time with your family and loved ones?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And what are your personal goals with that?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: For example, it could be a simple goal, not even necessarily going on vacation once a quarter.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: That could be a goal, but it could be a simple goal where you want to be present with them at dinner every night with no phone.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: I have some friends where it's like a no phone zone in the kitchen with their kids.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And they put it in a jar so everyone is present with one another and connecting.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: So holistically, what do you want with your family and loved ones?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then yourself.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And there's different parts of yourself.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing for your own personal development and growth?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's going on trips monthly or quarterly.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for example, I have a client.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: She knows that she loves going on retreats quarterly when it comes to growing her own business.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I go on personal trips quarterly.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And how does your health also look like?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing for your mental and physical and emotional health?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's nourishing daily with a journal, reflecting, doing a physical activity, working out or walking.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then obviously your career.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the tricky part being mindful if your career is built around your life and not the other way around.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like I said, in those lost moments, when it's our time to transition, we're going to be thinking about the memories we have with our loved ones.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know I do, and I've had my loved ones pass and transition.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: So your personal legacy.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: That is the first pillar of the color dreams approach.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: The second that is important, people and culture, the people and the purpose you stand by.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: We are social human beings, not just biological human beings, but social human beings.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: As I said earlier, I'm doing this trauma-informed certification.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I've learned with the brain, 30% of our brain is all about logic.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then 70% is really like where the growth is happening, where we're learning behaviors from other people, right?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: So for example, if one of our parents is scared of spiders and she's yelling, then we learn as a young child, oh, we're scared of spiders, right?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: So really we learn so much with the family that we grew up in and the culture, the society, the country we grew up in.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when it comes to your career and your personal life, well, first is how are you honoring your family and ancestors?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it could be as simple as I know a lot of you probably have it.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you are a parent having a picture of your kids there, I don't have kids yet, but for me, both my grandmothers are important.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a picture of both my grandmothers next to me when I graduated from my master's and got a master's in leadership and management.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I look at that every day.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking at the picture right now, and it's right next to my desk.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: And in terms of honoring them, I know that by having this life of choice, by doing what I love, that is how I'm honoring them.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: The second is how are you giving back to your community that has gotten you here?
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this has a lot to do even with not just my upbringing being Filipino American, but even my background coming from the nonprofit sector.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I love giving back to women of color and allies.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hence, this is why I have this podcast to give back my time and energy to my audience, which is you, the listener.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you have your own business and you're a yoga instructor and you want to give back.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that is doing a monthly workshop, giving back to your community.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: The third thing to think about when it comes to people and culture is who's your chosen family?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I use the word chosen family because this is the family, the village that you choose to support you, not just professionally, but personally.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: So your friends, some family members that you choose to, and the ones that are there to support you.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And even when it comes to professionally, like on top of the people that I love, my chosen family also includes my own experts of therapists and coaches.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it is plural because I got big dreams.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And because I got big dreams, I'm gonna get the experts that are gonna help me get to that next level and stay aligned to myself.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I also want to share this caveat.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I obviously believe in hiring experts to support you coach, mentor, guide, therapist, whatever title you want to give them.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I also want to remind you even if you have these experts to support you, ultimately it is up to you.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: It is your choice, and you do have agency of what actions to take.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And sure, I do spend money on these experts, but ultimately, even as they give me tips and advice, I make sure I choose what is aligned to me in terms of the next step.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I even share that with my own clients.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, this is my feedback on what you should do next.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, at the same time, I want you to make an aligned choice to what works for you.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: And if you find someone that's like, hey, you have to do this and it doesn't align to you, just run.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Don't work with them.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's the advice I want to give you.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: So we've gone through the first two pillars of the Call Your Dreams approach.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: One, your personal legacy, two, people and culture.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Third is accountability to align.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Accountability is huge.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Accountability to sticking to your goals, you know, to have the support and clarity to stay true to you.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And sure, for me and what I do with my clients, I hold them accountable.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: I give them accountable weekly action plans.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you can also hold yourself accountable.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, I have a CEO day every Monday where I hold myself accountable, not just to my numbers, but really asking myself those high levels of awareness on other aspects of my life: health, love, family, friends, and career.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't believe in having a balanced life.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm putting air quotes, because things shift and change in your life.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you have to focus more on one area versus another, right?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, my dad's gonna be getting knee surgery soon.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I know I'm gonna be focused more on my family for a certain time in my life, and I'm adjusting the other aspects of my life so I could focus more on there.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you notice that you need to adjust where you need to put more focus on your mental health, going to therapy.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's you having your own physical health, like you realize, oh my gosh, I need to work on this.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: So being aware of where you need to take more action, but also keeping tabs and looking at what's working best for you and what things probably need your attention.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And hey, it's okay also if there's certain things in your life where it can't get as much attention for now because you need to focus on one thing.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for example, earlier this year, I was even having a conversation with my boyfriend.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, I can't focus on this because I'm having high anxiety and I need to focus on my mental health before I even think about this.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it's okay if you're focusing on one thing at a time.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth pillar of the color dreams approach to stay true to you is measuring to manifest the numbers and the vision to build your legacy.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so why are numbers here?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I've said this in other podcast episodes, what you measure manifests.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, how are we going to track your personal and professional goals?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because we know to create a sustainable and equitable future, it's about understanding your numbers.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: For example, professionally, if you have your own business, it might be tracking how are you getting clients.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And as of today, on May 31st, 2022, because my numbers do change, 80% of my clients come from referrals and renewals, and 20% is from this podcast and Google SEO.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that that's where I should be focusing on continuously as opposed to doing all the things.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing, please don't do the most.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: We are given 24 hours in a day, seven days a week.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Beyonce has the same.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: How you use your time is really important.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so measuring to manifest when it comes to your personal aspect in life.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have a goal to buy a home with your partner.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: So are you tracking how much money you're sashing and saving away to put 20% down for that million dollar home that you want?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's an example of how you can measure to manifest.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have a full-time career, right?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Nine to five, and you want to hit a certain salary.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: So are you having that continuous conversation with your supervisor or boss, ensuring that you're doing what's needed so you could hit that next monetary goal?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: So measuring to manifest.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: And for health, maybe it's improving your choices in your health, maybe improving your blood pressure where you're meditating more and watching your health.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I said, my intention for my clients and for you, the color your dreams podcast listener, is to have a sustainable and equitable life, one where you are fulfilled and happy, one where you're not doing the most, and you stay aligned to you and also acknowledge that staying true to you will change as you get older, and that's okay.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll leave you with my reflective question and action item.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it's called the life balance wheel.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of coaches use this.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna give you this exercise.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we are gonna create this life balance wheel.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: And there is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: So there's nine nine things, I think.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to rank it zero to ten.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully you have that pen to paper.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So rank zero to ten, ten being the highest of how you feel in that aspect of your life, right?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: So zero to ten, one, looking at your career, two, health, three, romance, four, money, five, physical environment, six, recreation, seven, friends, eight, family, nine, personal growth.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And just in case you miss it, go back, rewind it, listen to this, and rank zero to ten, ten being the highest of how you feel of each part of that in your life.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: Then look at two things based off of that life balance wheel that you want to focus on that you want to improve.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you realize your family and your health are really low, or it's not a number that it's hitting.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: And when you look at those two things to improve, what is one small action you can do for those two things?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you took a lot of notes.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, my suggestion to you is after you listen to this episode, rather than go to your next thing in your life, whether it's work or personal, journal about what came up for you, especially the uncomfortable things.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I also want to congratulate you for listening to this episode and having that level of awareness of where you want to improve so you can stay true to you.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Legacy Maker, so going back to the theme of this whole episode, I want to ask you are you staying true to you?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Does your career or business revolve around your life and not the other way around?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know the answer to that question, I have a question for you that's gonna help you realize if it is or isn't.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: Are you having lunch with your laptop every day?
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you are, that means your life revolves around your career business.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: And really, your career business should revolve around your life.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope these questions didn't hurt you.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: And a huge thing I focus on with my clients is creating a sustainable life and lifestyle.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're feeling unaligned with your current life and career, I want to welcome you to schedule a complimentary 30-minute legacy business and career review where you will receive three action items towards your personal and professional goals.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: So to schedule that call, go to elenelew.com forward slash call.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are loving these podcast episodes and you want to hear more from yours truly to get more business, career, and legacy tips beyond this podcast and into your email inbox every Monday, join the Call Your Dreams newsletter by putting your name and email address at ElaineLu.com forward slash join.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's J O I N.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Legacy Maker, if you love this call your dreams episode, we would love it if you can leave a rating and review on Apple.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: So more women of color and allies can benefit too.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have one or two friends that would get so much from this particular episode, please share.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: The intention behind the Call Your Dreams podcast was to contribute and give back to our people.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: All right.