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July 7 - From Demands to Trust · The Daily Ripples Podcast

• 0:04
  Good morning, good evening, or good night, whenever y'all are listening to this.
• 0:09
  My name is Paris, and I also have Corey here with me.
• 0:13
  I'm going to start with July 7th.
• 0:16
  Or from demands to trust, what I'm reading.
• 0:19
  The stone, place comes when I release my demands and accept what I cannot control.
• 0:25
  Ripple one, practical.
• 0:28
  Today, I will pay attention to my expectation.
• 0:31
  When I catch myself thinking this should happen or this should do this, I will loosen my grip.
• 0:39
  I will turn demands into simple requests and accept the outcome without resentment.
• 0:45
  Ripple two, spiritual.
• 0:46
  The Father does not shape my life around my demands, but around His will.
• 0:52
  Jesus shows me what trust looks like.
• 0:56
  Even when outcomes are uncertain, the Holy Spirit helps me release control and live with open hands.
• 1:03
  As I surrender again and again, I find real peace.
• 1:07
  Not in getting what I want, but trusting in one who leads me.
• 1:15
  And yeah, man, when I read that, you know, talking about when it says that peace comes when I release my demands and accept what I can control.
• 1:25
  cannot control. You know, I got a friend of mine who likes this word acceptance, you know, and,
• 1:33
  you know, a lot of people go to the page 477, a lot in the big book, and talks about acceptance,
• 1:39
  and, you know, and it's in the serenative prayer, you know, and for a long time, I was against that
• 1:46
  word acceptance, because I didn't want to accept anything. I didn't want to accept nobody. Man,
• 1:51
  Man, listen, it was a rough part in my life about getting that acceptance.
• 1:56
  But when I started doing this work and really started looking at the big book and looking at what it says,
• 2:04
  you know, I'm going to read a little part about it.
• 2:08
  And it said acceptance is the answer.
• 2:10
  You know, going back to step three about turning our will over to God.
• 2:16
  See, that's the part when I had to surrender.
• 2:19
  See, I have to accept the fact, okay, my life, if it's on my self-will, I can't control what I'm doing.
• 2:25
  So how about me giving myself up, surrendering to God, to a higher power, and let him give me directions.
• 2:33
  And I only get that through prayer and meditation every morning.
• 2:37
  You know, go ahead, go ahead.
• 2:41
  What you got on there today?
• 2:42
  Yeah, well, acceptance, man, you know, I could be wrong, but, you know, acceptance kind of happens when I formulate an opinion about something.
• 2:51
  So when I formulate an opinion about something, that happens within a millisecond of something happened.
• 2:58
  I think in the terms there, sometimes use acceptance says I got to feel some sort of way about it.
• 3:04
  And I don't have to feel some sort of way about things.
• 3:07
  I don't have to be happy about something bad happening.
• 3:12
  That doesn't even make sense to me.
• 3:19
  But when I think about making demands on other people,
• 3:23
  and I think it's kind of, I don't know,
• 3:26
  I kind of don't really understand.
• 3:30
  I come to conflict a little bit of this because that's okay.
• 3:35
  Because when I think about page 160,
• 3:38
  or not 160, 60 and 61 in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous,
• 3:43
  it says each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show is forever trying to arrange
• 3:50
  the lights the ballet the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way if only i'll use my you
• 3:57
  know that you know it's crazy so you know the way i went through this one of the times i went through
• 4:01
  this work was my sponsor told me to change his to my name and you know so follow along you know it's
• 4:08
  It makes it a little bit more personal.
• 4:11
  But it says, if Corey's arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as Corey wished, the show would be great.
• 4:20
  Everybody, including Corey, would be pleased.
• 4:23
  Life would be wonderful.
• 4:24
  And trying to make these arrangements, Corey may sometimes be virtuous.
• 4:29
  He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous.
• 4:33
  And so I'm going to stop right there and kind of go, and it's kind of like saying this.
• 4:37
  It's like, oh, I'm going to change my demands into simple requests.
• 4:39
  But that's kind of saying I'll be kind, consider it patient, generous.
• 4:43
  You know, I've kind of done that, you know, with different women, right?
• 4:46
  When I'm trying to sleep with them.
• 4:47
  But even modest and self-sacrificing, right?
• 4:51
  On the other hand, I may be, Corey may be egotistical, selfish and dishonest when I'm not getting what I want, right?
• 4:59
  But as with most humans, Corey is more likely to have varied traits.
• 5:03
  And then it goes on to say what usually happens.
• 5:05
  The show doesn't come off very well.
• 5:07
  Corey begins to think life doesn't treat him right.
• 5:11
  And I've been in that position, Paris.
• 5:13
  I've been in that position where I don't think life is treating me right.
• 5:16
  And it's not because of me.
• 5:17
  It's because everybody else is not doing what I think they should do.
• 5:21
  And the promise to that man is on page 62.
• 5:24
  And page 62, I think, is the result of a step four and five.
• 5:28
  Some of our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.
• 5:32
  They arose out of myself.
• 5:34
  And the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run right, though he usually doesn't think so.
• 5:40
  And I talk about that a lot because, man, when I'm in it, and I've been in it, I don't think that I'm in it.
• 5:47
  I'm thinking I'm doing the best I can with what I have, and I probably am.
• 5:52
  The best I can, the best I have is only me.
• 5:55
  That's why the whole deal is I got to bring God into it.
• 5:58
  And that's why there's 12 or 15 different places where we ask God to come in here, into our life.
• 6:07
  I know we went through that thing.
• 6:08
  We found 12, but I found 15 the other day where it has 15 different prayers.
• 6:15
  That's what I was thinking about originally.
• 6:16
  What else you thought?
• 6:17
  Man, you know, it automatically took me to that.
• 6:22
  I went through the 12 of 12.
• 6:24
  I'm going through the 12 of 12 world right now.
• 6:27
  And, you know, in the step three, you was talking about the opening.
• 6:33
  You know, this step is like opening a door.
• 6:35
  But you have to have that key.
• 6:37
  And that key is willingness.
• 6:39
  You know, I was just coming up to the door today, and I was like, man, the door is not locked.
• 6:44
  I mean, I ain't know if the door is going to be unlocked or not.
• 6:47
  But what did I do?
• 6:48
  I trust it, and I twist the knob, and it opened up.
• 6:52
  You know what I mean?
• 6:52
  Like, that's the kind of trust that you have to have when you're going with the God.
• 6:57
  See, it talks about from demands to trust.
• 7:00
  And then you can go on to the next page, on page 36, where it says,
• 7:04
  the more we become willing to depend upon a higher power, the more independent we actually are.
• 7:10
  And, you know, when I was read that, you know, it got me thinking.
• 7:13
  I was like, man, you know, life's going good today.
• 7:16
  I don't have any problems.
• 7:18
  Things I used to do, it's like there is now a switch.
• 7:24
  You know, some things do not only feel better, but they look better.
• 7:31
  I feel better.
• 7:32
  You know what I mean?
• 7:33
  Like, I'm not dealing with, yes, I'm still going through the court system
• 7:37
  and dealing with all that, but, you know, but what am I here for?
• 7:41
  What is my purpose?
• 7:42
  And it was talking about that we only have more purpose.
• 7:45
  And I know what you're going to go to.
• 7:47
  Now I see you looking through the book.
• 7:49
  Our purpose is to be a maximum service to those and others and our fellows and the AA in the community.
• 7:57
  And I love that about this program, man.
• 8:00
  The things that we're doing, just being here, sitting out here, talking and sharing our experience, talking with others.
• 8:08
  Even doing this podcast, I'm so blessed and honored to be in this position to do this today.
• 8:14
  It says, I will turn demands into simple requests and accept the outcome without resentment.
• 8:23
  So I kind of think about that and accepting an outcome without resentment.
• 8:30
  When an outcome comes, depending on how I would say disciplined I am in this work in this day,
• 8:38
  because it varies.
• 8:40
  I mean, some days I'm on point, and some days I'm not.
• 8:46
  And it says, well, it also says on page 84,
• 8:51
  our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness.
• 8:56
  And I think this, you know, in a position of 84,
• 9:00
  well, 10, 11, and 12, they've got a bad rap in the recovery rooms
• 9:04
  because I hear a lot of people talking about this is the maintenance steps.
• 9:09
  Well, maintaining has nothing to do with growing understanding and affection.
• 9:14
  Then it says this is not an overnight matter.
• 9:16
  It should continue for our lifetime.
• 9:19
  So it says continue to watch.
• 9:21
  Maybe the simple request can kind of relate to this.
• 9:24
  Continue to watch.
• 9:25
  So I think about when I'm at a red light and there's cars coming through.
• 9:29
  Maybe a stop sign would be better because cars are stopping.
• 9:32
  They're coming through and I'm watching for my turn.
• 9:35
  But, you know, when someone goes ahead of me, I'm not beat, like, you know, I'm not beating myself up about it either.
• 9:40
  I'm just watching.
• 9:42
  You know, today I don't really, I don't have really road rage as a lot of people talk about.
• 9:48
  I don't, I mean, you know, things happen, man.
• 9:50
  And, you know, those cars don't know, I don't know.
• 9:53
  Well, that's kind of interesting because, like, you know, I don't know what other people are doing.
• 9:59
  You know, what other people's day look like.
• 10:02
  And, you know, it says, and, you know, a lot of this goes back to page 62, which is cool.
• 10:09
  But it says, sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation.
• 10:14
  But we invariably find that at some time in the past we made decisions based on self, which later put us at that stop sign.
• 10:23
  You know what I'm talking about?
• 10:24
  But it says they're in a position to be hurt.
• 10:26
  But, you know, these people don't know that they're about to hurt me.
• 10:29
  They didn't wake up in the morning and say, man, I'm going to go find that white SUV and I'm going after it.
• 10:36
  You know, it's not always been about me, but I think it's about me because, man, that's all I can think about.
• 10:41
  And I'm in self-delusion.
• 10:43
  See, man, I think when I, I don't think, man, I see my whole life's been about me.
• 10:50
  And so.
• 10:51
  Let me get to here.
• 10:52
  Let me show you something real quick.
• 10:53
  When it says on the ripple of the spiritual, you know, it says Jesus shows me what trust looks like.
• 10:59
  and um that reminds me of the verse proverbs 3 you know proverbs chapter 3 um 5 and 6 it says
• 11:07
  trust in the lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understandings in all way and all
• 11:14
  your ways and knowledge him man he will make straight your path you know so i i had to come
• 11:21
  to the conclusion that what is this trust in the lord with all your heart you know see that's the
• 11:26
  surrender we're talking about you know it don't say halfway with your heart it say all of your
• 11:31
  heart and it's the part that you know a lot of people in the pro in the rooms of uh of recovery
• 11:38
  you know we still some i ain't gonna say we but some still having an issue of the higher power
• 11:44
  they or their cuffs up you know and i have and i find it difficult to try to you know give them my
• 11:51
  perspective and explain something to them
• 11:53
  that, you know, give them a slight
• 11:55
  eye-opener. Right. You know,
• 11:57
  but that's where it comes with that
• 11:59
  key of willingness again.
• 12:01
  If you're just willing to seek in something
• 12:03
  higher than yourself, then that's when
• 12:05
  things can start to switch, start to
• 12:07
  you know, make the belief in it.
• 12:09
  First, you gotta start with the will it.
• 12:11
  You know, you can't believe in none if you're
• 12:13
  willing to believe in it. That's why
• 12:15
  willing to believe in it, too.
• 12:17
  But, you know, um...
• 12:21
  I think there's some, what else you got for?
• 12:24
  Man, I got a couple of things.
• 12:28
  But, you know, when I read this,
• 12:32
  but the Father does not shape my life around my demands,
• 12:36
  but around His will.
• 12:39
  And, you know, I think about what His will is.
• 12:44
  Well, I imagine His will is love.
• 12:47
  And then it goes on to say the Holy Spirit helps me release control and live with an open hands as I surrender again and again.
• 12:56
  You know, I think that surrender and again and again is something that I, you know, I come into conflict in my life sometimes, right?
• 13:05
  I come into these different situations.
• 13:08
  And at first I want to just take, you know, take them head on by myself.
• 13:14
  And then I get knocked on down.
• 13:17
  So when I get knocked down, maybe that is these different forms of these things of little glimpses of humility,
• 13:23
  as Bill Wilson talked about in Language of the Heart.
• 13:28
  But I'm going to end this with a prayer.
• 13:30
  Father, God, help me release what I'm demanding today.
• 13:34
  Through Your Holy Spirit, teach me to trust Your will instead of trying to control everything around me.
• 13:40
  Shave my heart through the example of Jesus and give me peace as I surrender to You.
• 13:45
  Amen.
• 13:46
  And sorry, you guys, for letting me get a little pumped up and ran.
• 13:49
  Thank you, Paris, for shutting me down, too.
• 13:51
  All right, bye.