Latest / Yes And Land / Encanto and Breaking Free From Perfectionism | Angie White on Self-Worth

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Encanto and Breaking Free From Perfectionism | Angie White on Self-Worth · Yes And Land

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What did being a perfectionist look like for
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you? It looked like not disappointing people,
0:05
living up to a role that I was told was my role
0:08
and what I accepted fully as my role. Understanding
0:12
your value as a person, that it was inherent,
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right? Much like Mirabelle had to learn, like
0:19
the gift is me. You don't have to have some other
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special gift. The gift is like who I am. I kind
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of went past the... where you're supposed to
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go past the reef and it was hard and it was yeah
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no one goes beyond the reef right that's what
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her dad says right like no can't do it she's
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like no i got it when i self -abandon i feel
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anxious and angry but it's because i'm not being
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myself i'm not being true to myself this time
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i'm thinking i have something to offer and i
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can help having people be angry with me isn't
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as devastating as it used to be welcome to yes
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and land where we say yes to the reality of yesterday
1:00
and today, and we say and to the possibility,
1:04
growth, and imagination of tomorrow. Well, welcome,
1:14
everybody, to our next episode of Yes and Land.
1:17
Very excited about our guest today, Angie White,
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with Jawies and COO over there. That's your role,
1:24
correct? That's right. pretty awesome and she's
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also very humble um and doesn't want to take
1:31
any praise for it but you don't get to be a role
1:33
like that somewhere without having exceptional
1:36
skills and i want to talk with her today about
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her journey to get there and what it what it
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looked like to overcome some trials and overcome
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some things in her life working through things
1:46
like failures or self -doubt um and people that
1:50
helped you along the way because we never do
1:52
things alone right And we're going to talk about
1:54
a few different movies today. It's going to be
1:56
a good time. We're going to talk about Mulan,
1:58
which is one of my faves. Absolutely love Mulan.
2:01
Whenever we talk about like favorite Disney heroes,
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she is pretty high on my list. She's pretty amazing.
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It's very rewatchable, that movie, for me as
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well. Watched it with my kids not too long ago
2:11
and just loved it. We're also going to talk about
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Encanto, which actually is my favorite Disney
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movie. I know it's recency bias, Angie. It totally
2:18
is, but I love it. I think it's mine too. It's
2:21
so good. Yeah. And who knows? We might go some
2:24
other paths, too. We might talk about some other
2:26
characters. We might even talk about Moana. Who
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knows? We're going to see where it takes us.
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I'm a big Disney fan. Good. This will be great,
2:33
then, because so am I. We'll enjoy our Disney
2:36
nerddom as we talk today. One thing I wanted
2:40
to ask you about, we talked a little in the pre
2:42
-show about, but like, tell me about this house
2:44
in Florida you have and what view you have. Okay.
2:47
We feel really lucky and we didn't buy it for
2:50
this, but it's on a lake. And at night you can
2:53
see the Magic Kingdom fireworks from the back
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patio. Unbelievable. Yeah. That is so cool. I
2:59
saw some memes. So we're recording this just
3:01
after July 4th. And I saw some memes leading
3:04
up to July 4th that just made me laugh where
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it was like. July 4th is when, you know, you
3:09
go enjoy all your local fireworks, but you think,
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nah, it's not Disney. And I'm always like, I
3:16
do love fireworks. But there's something about
3:18
watching a Disney fireworks show, especially
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if you can hear the music. And we can't, but
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we can see them. But it reminds you of, you know,
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probably what that is. You know, when you're
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actually in the park, seeing it, watching the
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projections they do on the castle, that whole
3:36
production. Magical, of course. It is, yep. Okay,
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so I want to kind of roll it back and talk a
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little bit about young Angie. And one of the
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things that you've mentioned as we've talked
3:48
in the past is maybe you were a little bit of
3:51
a perfectionist. Yes. So tell me what that looked
3:54
like when you were growing up. What did being
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a perfectionist look like for you? It looked
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like not disappointing people and kind of living
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up to a role. that I was told was my role and
4:10
what I accepted fully as my role. And I think
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because I get embarrassed easily and I don't
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like to, I get my face goes red. And so I really
4:22
was trying to avoid embarrassment, but also I'm
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a high achiever. I want to achieve things, set
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goals. And so my perfectionism was more, i i
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set good goals like high achieving goals yeah
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um i've i've run marathons and i kind of use
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this as an example i don't win marathon win marathons
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but i run them sure and the reason i did that
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is because you can follow a schedule i'm disciplined
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you can follow a schedule and do the training
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and if you do that you'll run a marathon and
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i'm a firm believer in that yeah you do the training
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i would never show up and not prepare and so
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That's something I'm not afraid of hard work.
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I'm not afraid of discipline and setting my mind
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to something, which could be a good goal. Yeah.
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And then achieving that goal. But I would never
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say I should win a marathon. Sure. You know,
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because that's a little too high. Does that make
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sense? It does. And it leads to my next question,
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which is when you have perfectionism, I do think
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it's one of those traits that is a blessing and
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a curse at times. In what ways do you feel like,
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especially in your younger years, did any of
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that perfectionism hold you back from something?
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And that's exactly where I was held back because
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I wouldn't set goals that I could fail at. So
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I wanted to be a nurse at one point, and I started
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college. and started the prerequisites to become
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a nurse. And it was a really competitive field
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to get in to the program where I was attending
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school. And instead of saying, well, I'm going
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to do this, and there's a chance I could fail,
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I just changed my mind to what I was going to
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do. I decided not to do it and pursue that. Because
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what if they don't accept me to the program?
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Then I failed. And that's where my perfectionism
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held me back. I didn't choose goals that I could
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fail at. What was it about failure that held
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you back? What was it you worried about with
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that? I think it would say something about my
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worth, ultimately. That it would say that I'm
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not good or... Because I had a lot of self -doubt.
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Sure. and um and i was very i'm i'm a competitive
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person strangely enough but i i just i i think
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it was just all about my worth it would say well
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you're not smart enough you're not good enough
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yeah you know in in in reviewing some things
7:03
kind of preparing for this episode i went back
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and looked at some scenes in kanto and there's
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a few that apply here but we'll kind of take
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some of them one by one. I want to get your kind
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of take on some of these. And there's one that's
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right at the beginning, right? You have the song,
7:17
The Family Madrigal, which is just such a fun
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song, right? Part of it's like the genius of
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Lin -Manuel Miranda, that he needs to introduce
7:23
all these characters, but he does so in classic
7:26
Lin style of the way that he does the song. And
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you just feel like it's just an amazing song.
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And yet, really, what they're doing is just setting
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the stage for who everybody is, so you understand,
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because it's a big old family. There's a lot
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of characters to navigate in the show. It's so
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brilliant. So at the end of this song, right,
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they're getting to the point where all these
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kids want to know what her gift is, right? And
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somebody's coming to bring some stuff. A townsperson's
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coming to bring some stuff for this big party
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they're going to have. And it kind of is revealed
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that she doesn't have a gift. And this is kind
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of the exchange, right? One of the kids says,
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you didn't get a gift? And there's a couple of
8:00
other exchanges back and forth. And then another
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kid says, if I was you, I'd be really sad. And
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she says, well, my little friend, I am not because
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the truth is gift or no gift. I am just as special
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as the rest of my family. And then the kid says,
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maybe your gift is being in denial. Like, oh,
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it's brutal, right? Like right from the get go,
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it's brutal. And really, she's just masking at
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this stage. I mean, you can really see that in
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reality, she didn't like fully embrace that and
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believe that. And so, like, what's kind of your
8:30
take here on this journey that Mirabel is experiencing
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with feeling less than or feeling like, you know,
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she's kind of the one on the outside because
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she can't do what other people in her family
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can't do? Yeah, I relate to that. I have, you
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know, at that in a young age, you're kind of
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comparing yourself to this small circle you have.
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So your siblings, your friends, and I have really
8:53
impressive siblings. My dad would say certain
9:00
things about each sibling. And I had something
9:03
he said about me. But it wasn't something I wanted
9:09
to be the smart one. I wanted him to say, oh,
9:12
you're so smart. I wanted him to focus on other
9:14
things, not what he focused on. And my dad's
9:18
a great dad. This is something I realized as
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I got older. And then even my friends there,
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you know, you think about all your friends and
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the things that they're incredible at. Maybe
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they're in the gifted and talented program. Again,
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it all comes down to wanting to be smart, I think,
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for me. And I think I am. But I was kind of I
9:37
I that's a quality I really admire in people
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is just, you know, you know, someone who's really
9:46
good in school or whatever. Um, so I think, I
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think that that's, that's what I could relate
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to with her is just looking around, seeing all
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these impressive people and thinking, oh, that's
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not me. Maybe focusing more on what I'm not than
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what I am. Cause that's what she did. Right.
10:02
Because in one of the songs that comes after
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that, um, you know, she sings a song that she's
10:07
waiting on a miracle. Right. She's like talking
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about all these things that her family does are
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so amazing. She's like. just over here waiting
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like where's where's my gift where's my miracle
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like why is it just me and she hasn't at that
10:20
point in time in the show understood at all what
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her true worth is right and so it's it's holding
10:26
her back and her ability to step into that power
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because she has it it's there right and it's
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later revealed in the show that she of course
10:32
does um but then it's also just creating a lot
10:36
a lot more you know friction with her and her
10:40
siblings too right like with isabella like creates
10:42
lots of friction there um so you know when we
10:46
look at you know this idea that failures can
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the idea of a failure can really hold us back
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it's kind of this fear of a failure and fear
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of maybe not good being good enough um one of
10:57
the things that um i was i was looking at with
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this as well as a quote from brene brown right
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she's amazing yeah and you know and It's a little
11:09
bit more in the line of rather than who we are,
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also taking a look at what our actions are and
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what actions we take. One of the things that
11:16
she said, this is a really famous thing that
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she said from Daring Greatly. She said, guilt
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means I did something bad. Shame means I am bad.
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and how many times do we unfortunately fall into
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that idea of shame right like i am bad as opposed
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to like i did something bad right i feel guilty
11:32
for that i should right i did something that's
11:33
wrong but it's not who i am right and so when
11:37
you're experiencing during kind of your grown
11:39
-up years and this idea of kind of holding yourself
11:41
back a little bit for the fear of failures did
11:44
you ever battle with that a little bit of like
11:48
trying to avoid shame, not feeling like you were
11:50
a bad person, not feeling like you were less
11:52
than. Was that anything you ever had to kind
11:54
of combat or battle? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was a
11:57
very obedient child. I followed every rule. I
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would have guessed. That's what I was guessing.
12:03
Yeah. And I even tell people as an adult, I am
12:05
such a rule follower. Someone was trying to get
12:07
me to break a rule. I'm like, are you trying
12:09
to get me to do this? And I send the sweating
12:11
face emoji and she's like, well, you know, it
12:14
was just really funny. And, and I like, even
12:17
to this day, I'm just such a rule follower. I'm
12:20
not going to break a rule because I, I do, I,
12:23
I, I would think I am bad. Yeah. Yeah. And, and.
12:28
How do you navigate the difference there, though,
12:31
between like doing the right things and following
12:34
the rules is good, right? It's not bad to do
12:37
that. That's actually a good thing. But doing
12:39
it because it's who you are as opposed to the
12:42
avoidance of shame for doing it. Yeah. And I
12:45
think, too, there's an element of conformity.
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And I really I tell people that are rule breakers.
12:51
I'm like. i am impressed i am impressed with
12:55
safe rule breakers right and and so there's this
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part of me especially as a child and growing
13:01
most of my adult life too i have been i've conformed
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i've followed the rules i've tried to live up
13:08
to everyone's expectations of me and my evolution
13:13
and when i was doing that there's a level of
13:18
safety For sure. But there's also some self -abandonment
13:23
that I didn't realize until after I started not
13:28
conforming as much and not making it where I
13:31
had to please everybody. And having people be
13:35
angry with me isn't as devastating as it used
13:39
to be if I'm confident in my decision. Yeah.
13:41
Right? Like, I don't want to rile anyone up,
13:43
but I also want to stand up for myself or what
13:46
I think should be stood up for. Yeah. And that
13:50
doesn't make people happy, especially when you've
13:53
always been a conformer. Absolutely. And so that
13:57
was probably a hard thing. What was your inflection
14:00
point for that? What was the experience you had,
14:02
if you could point to one, where that really
14:05
started to turn for you? could worry a little
14:09
bit less about what somebody else thought and
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just do more of what you thought was the right
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thing and what you wanted to in that situation
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yeah it was very gradual but then when you look
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back you can kind of see signs pointing to it
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and um i i i would feel very angry i would feel
14:29
trapped and i but i also wanted to be a sweet
14:32
person or good a good girl or you know, there's
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all these things that I It is it was such a conflict
14:40
of I think I'm a wild like I I am always trying
14:44
to capture and bring back this I always think
14:48
of eight -year -old me and She had frizzy red
14:52
hair Maybe I was five or six, actually. I was
14:56
younger, probably. And frizzy red hair and running
14:59
around the neighborhood, bossing everyone around,
15:02
telling everyone what we're doing. And people
15:04
were following me. And I had a strawberry shortcake
15:09
swimsuit. Like, this is who I conjure up in my
15:11
mind when I'm trying to be brave. Sure. Because
15:14
I pushed that little girl down. When I started
15:19
to feel embarrassment and shame and needing to
15:23
follow rules and conform, I abandoned. I think
15:28
we hear about that a lot. I don't think that's
15:30
unusual. And so I carried that into my teenage
15:36
years, well into adulthood, where I have this
15:42
wildness in me. But when I ignore it, I call
15:49
it self -abandonment now. And when I self -abandon,
15:52
I feel anxious and angry. But it's because I'm
15:58
not being myself. I'm not being true to myself.
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And I've had to learn that that doesn't mean
16:04
stepping on people or being mean or, you know.
16:08
Sure. There's a way to be yourself and also be
16:11
respectful of others. Totally. So. You know.
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it's so interesting i i love where you're going
16:18
with this i just think there's a lot that that
16:20
people can relate to with that and the idea of
16:23
like it's self -abandonment when when you don't
16:26
when you're just doing it to conform you know
16:29
when we look at um well there's some other things
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too so one of the things i want to ask you about
16:36
too is this idea of failure um and at some point
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in time in your life you had to i'm sure make
16:42
the decision that like i'm going to still take
16:45
a risk, even though I might fail on this. Yeah.
16:47
Right. And tell me how you grappled with that.
16:51
How did you come to the decision or conclusion
16:53
in your life that you were willing to fail in
16:56
things and not worry about what everybody else
16:58
was saying or thinking and not feel shame for
17:01
it, for failing on it? What did that look like?
17:05
It was all so gradual. And I was offered an opportunity
17:10
to start a business. And it it was, I felt really
17:14
honored to be asked, but this person felt like
17:17
I had the right skills to start this with her.
17:20
And, um, we just took it a step at a time and
17:24
we were putting a little money in here and there.
17:27
And my husband would say, okay, it's, you know,
17:30
you still in this? I'm like, yeah, I'm not ready
17:32
to give up. And, and then we started having successes
17:35
and it wasn't success after success. There were
17:38
a lot of failures, but from this person, I learned
17:40
you don't A failure doesn't mean you give up.
17:43
And I brought up another movie, Meet the Robinsons.
17:47
Yes. And I love that you keep moving forward.
17:52
And maybe you find another, maybe this is your
17:55
goal and you were trying to get on path A, but
17:58
let's try path B or C. And then maybe you work
18:00
your way through the whole alphabet. But if you
18:02
know that's where you want to go, you keep trying.
18:06
And for this business, it actually did really
18:09
well. I gradually started seeing things in me
18:14
that this business partner saw in me, you know,
18:17
that I had certain skills. And again, it was
18:21
just a gradual realization. I would never say
18:24
I have an ego to where I'm like, oh, I've got
18:27
this, you know. But I started to see, oh, I do
18:30
have some skills. I do have some abilities here
18:35
that I didn't know I had. And then I just started
18:38
thinking. well, what else is there that I didn't
18:41
know about me? Because I was always conforming.
18:44
And the life as I was conforming is a life I
18:49
love, too. It doesn't mean it's a bad life. It's
18:51
just I was never told you could do both. And
18:56
now I was doing both. And fully supported by
18:59
my family and my husband and building relationships.
19:06
having opportunities to the point where I did
19:08
think, well, at some point, if this does fail,
19:11
I've learned a lot and I'm really proud of what
19:14
I've done. Yeah. And like you said, along the
19:18
path, not everything was a success after success
19:22
after success. There were certain things that
19:23
were failures. And Carol Dweck wrote a book called
19:28
The Growth Mindset, which I love. It's a fabulous
19:30
book. And in there, she says, in the growth mindset,
19:33
failure can be a painful experience. but it doesn't
19:37
define you. It's a problem to be faced, dealt
19:39
with, and learned from. And so what you had to
19:43
find, I would assume, would be that growth mindset
19:46
as opposed to a fixed mindset, which is, I don't
19:48
want to fail. I might fail, but I can't fail,
19:50
so I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to take
19:53
that step. And then you found a way to shift
19:55
that paradigm to a growth mindset of embracing
19:57
like, okay, these things might fail. Were there
20:01
any... failures that you had that you drew strength
20:05
from realizing that you could overcome it. You
20:07
could take that and learn from it and grow from
20:10
that failure. Yeah, for sure. I mean, you know,
20:15
I can think back on specific conversations with
20:18
employees that I just, I just think, ah, I would
20:22
do that differently. And I, and then I do it
20:24
differently. I learn from it or, I mean, as a
20:26
parent, you, you do that every single day. And,
20:30
um, so, so yeah, for sure. Those are the things
20:33
that really stick out or just maybe things that
20:37
how I might've handled a situation. Yeah. Because
20:41
in one of the things that I think we sometimes
20:43
forget when we talk about these things is like,
20:46
we can look at failure as an opportunity, right.
20:49
To learn. It doesn't mean it's not hard. Yeah.
20:52
Like failing's not fun. Maybe some people can
20:56
look at it as fun. And I do like meet the Robinsons
20:58
because they make it. a fun event when it was
21:01
like yeah he said he fails in this thing he tried
21:03
to create they all celebrate right and i love
21:05
that idea but in practical like day -to -day
21:07
life feeling like sometimes really stinks i i've
21:11
had you know plenty of experiences where you
21:14
know clearly not working out with an employee
21:16
you know do everything that i can clearly like
21:20
i could have done things better and then you
21:22
have to part ways and it stinks like I don't
21:25
know what your experience is, but firing somebody
21:26
is like one of my least favorite things that
21:29
I ever have to do. It's just awful. I hate it.
21:32
Yeah. Keeps you up at night. Yeah. Cause you,
21:34
you learn to care about people, whether they're
21:36
the right person there and, and it's, yeah, that's
21:40
really difficult. I don't think you ever would
21:43
get used to that. Yeah. I mean, for some reason,
21:45
some people do and they embrace it and they love
21:47
it. Not me, not you sounds like, but it is every
21:50
time it happens, it is an opportunity to kind
21:53
of. take a look at it. Now, I do think it's also
21:55
important in those situations, and I love your
21:58
take on this and your experience with this, but
21:59
not to observe the things that that person did
22:02
wrong, right? It wasn't entirely your fault for
22:06
them, you know, needing to be let go, but just
22:08
assessing what you can do differently. Was that
22:11
ever hard? Was it, did you ever look at it like,
22:13
oh my gosh, this is completely my failure. They
22:14
got let go and then realized like, no, actually
22:16
it wasn't. Like I had a role, but so did they.
22:20
Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Just maybe they didn't
22:23
get coached enough. Another thing we always try
22:26
to do, we would say they're maybe just not on
22:28
the right seat on the bus. Yeah. Yeah, Jim Collins,
22:32
good to great. Look at you. You're drawing on
22:33
some classic stuff right there. And one of my
22:37
biggest joys is knowing that person belongs on
22:40
the bus and finding the right seat for them.
22:43
And sometimes that's, I mean, that's actually
22:47
one of the most satisfying things. in owning
22:51
a business that i and people will ask me what's
22:55
what's the thing what's the hardest thing about
22:57
owning a business and i would say the people
22:58
and then the best thing are the people yeah you
23:02
know you learn the most and um but but if i couldn't
23:08
find the right seat on the bus for them that's
23:11
hard yeah it's super hard you know at some point
23:15
in time the business y 'all started was obviously
23:17
very small right yeah all businesses start out
23:20
that way and that's where it's also sometimes
23:22
hard because the size of the business might mean
23:25
there's just not another seat at that stage right
23:28
like this person could be a really great person
23:31
and have a skill set but the bust you have right
23:34
now just doesn't have a lot of seats yeah and
23:36
that's tough and that's tough and and then trying
23:39
to have that conversation with somebody too about
23:41
about that and Trying to help them understand
23:45
like I understand you do have great skill sets
23:48
without them feeling like you're just you know
23:49
being phony Yeah, I struggle with that. Yeah,
23:51
you want to be sincere. I'm not giving false
23:53
praise, right? But I do want them to like understand
23:57
and know like no there are some things you do
23:58
Well, we just don't have that right now. Yeah
24:01
here, which is tough. Yeah, it's really hard.
24:03
So Okay, coming back this this perfectionism
24:07
thing So another quote from incanto you ready
24:11
for this? This is when Isabella and Mirabel are
24:17
having a conversation, right? They're talking
24:19
and Mirabel is trying to understand how she's
24:22
supposed to repair this relationship with her
24:23
sister because she comes to realization from
24:25
Bruno's vision that she's supposed to, right?
24:27
That's the key to fixing Casita and the miracle,
24:31
right? Not having to kind of go out. And Mirabel
24:34
says to Isabella that she's selfish. Right. She's
24:37
kind of like she's just like mad at her. Oh,
24:40
you're just selfish. Because you have the perfect
24:41
life. Yes. Exactly. Because you do have the perfect
24:43
life. And Isabella says, selfish. I've been stuck
24:47
being perfect my whole entire life. And literally
24:50
the only thing you have ever done for me is mess
24:52
things up. And so it's suddenly like in this
24:55
moment, it's like, oh, my goodness. She is way
24:58
deeper than you thought. She is not this perfect
25:01
princess that Nita Bell was saying she was. That
25:04
she's really just been doing things for everybody
25:06
else. And she's been self -abandoning. Yeah.
25:10
Right? Yeah. In Encanto, what do you think it
25:13
took for her to overcome that? And how is that
25:17
paralleled for you in your life? Probably the
25:21
misunderstanding of who she really is. Like,
25:24
she has to put... put out this perfect persona
25:27
everything's fine and then for some reason she
25:31
let that guard down yeah i mean not for some
25:33
reason she let it down because she's being told
25:36
your life is perfect and she's thinking this
25:39
isn't perfect to me you know absolutely and it's
25:42
that breaking point and i i i remember similar
25:45
things in my own life where i'm like it looks
25:48
this way but it isn't i know inside it's not
25:51
and then at some point something has to give
25:53
right yeah and And what one of the most beautiful
25:58
parts of that movie, I think, and that's why
26:01
it's hard for me to I can relate to almost most
26:05
of those characters, honestly, especially the
26:08
three sisters. But I, I think for her, when she
26:13
was just able to be herself, it was a little
26:15
messy, but it was beautiful and colorful. It
26:18
wasn't this perfect, you know, the most perfect
26:21
flowers that are it was. brighter and more vibrant
26:24
and and that i think is where i relate to to
26:28
her is that finally just i still want to be a
26:33
certain part of me this is still a part of me
26:35
but there's another part that i'm not showing
26:37
to people and and even for myself showing and
26:44
it is a little more colorful it's a little messier
26:46
it's not as perfect right absolutely and you
26:50
know when i think one of the things that's really
26:52
beautiful in this story the way that it's told
26:54
is is the role that mirabelle plays in helping
26:58
isabella realize that yeah right and in that
27:01
song what else can i do because you know to some
27:04
extent that release she was just waiting for
27:07
that to come out she just needed permission yeah
27:09
she just needed her mission and i think that's
27:12
where you really start to see again the gifts
27:15
that mirabelle has to help her family see their
27:18
value beyond just their gift yeah And their value
27:21
beyond just doing perfect flowers all the time.
27:23
Their value beyond Louisa having to always just
27:26
be strong for everybody. And the burden of having
27:29
that gift that everyone relies on and expects
27:32
from you without being able to just be yourself
27:35
sometimes. She, the whole time, gets to be herself.
27:40
And that's beautiful, but feels bad. It's just
27:44
a really beautiful... Yeah. Story. And I do think
27:50
that part of the reason why it works so well
27:53
is like you pointed out, it's like you can see
27:54
things in the main characters that apply to all
27:58
of us, right? For anybody that's ever dealt with
28:02
perfectionism, Misa Vela is fantastic. But same
28:04
thing with Luisa, someone who's ever felt like
28:06
it always rests on their shoulders. They're always
28:09
the one who have to carry everybody else's burdens.
28:11
And they can't show any cracks. They can't show
28:13
any weaknesses because they have to be strong
28:16
for everybody else. I think moms have to experience
28:18
that a lot. You're a mom, right? Yes, I'm a mom.
28:21
Four kids. Four kids. I was going to say, I'm
28:22
pretty sure it's four. Four. Maybe all over.
28:24
20? Yeah. My youngest is 21. My goodness. Yeah.
28:28
but i think i think a lot of times moms have
28:30
to carry that or they feel like they have to
28:32
care and then no they don't but i feel like they
28:34
have to carry it for the whole family they have
28:36
to hold it together for the whole family um i
28:39
mean mom guilt's a real thing right i've heard
28:40
so many women uh doing what i do right which
28:44
is divorce talk about that like oh i gotta i
28:47
gotta go to work or i gotta go back to work and
28:49
feeling mom guilt for that because they've held
28:51
the family together for so long they're like
28:52
louisa right being strong for everybody all the
28:55
time doing everything for everybody all the time
28:57
did you ever experience that as a mom well i
28:59
i i think it's a little it's i'll just tell you
29:03
what mine was and then we'll just dive in there
29:05
i love it let's do it girl i'm here for it i
29:08
was a stay -at -home mom yeah and i got to be
29:10
that and i was really that's what i that's what
29:12
i wanted to do yeah blessing right and i Um,
29:17
I, I did the whole thing where I got married
29:19
pretty young. I had kids pretty young and I,
29:22
um, had all four of my kids by the time I was
29:25
29. My oldest is 29, which is so wild to think
29:29
about. And, um, but this is, this is where, this
29:32
is that a little bit of, this isn't what inside
29:37
that eight year old strawberry shortcake, wild
29:40
hair girl probably would have done if I'd had
29:44
more options in my life. I would have loved to
29:47
be told, you can be a mom and explore life out
29:52
here. And so what was happening in, and again,
29:57
it's just looking back because I have a really
29:59
beautiful life that I would never, ever want
30:01
to change. But I had a lot of built up feelings
30:08
toward, and I didn't realize it, but it's maybe
30:11
where we go to Moana. I just felt a little. You
30:15
know, she's on this beautiful island, but she
30:18
sees that there's more out there. The thing is,
30:21
it was that opportunity with that business that
30:27
I really was given this opportunity to step out
30:30
of that role, continue to do it, which I loved,
30:33
but then explore. I kind of went past the...
30:38
where you're supposed to go past the reef and
30:40
it was hard and it was yeah no one goes beyond
30:44
the reef right that's what her dad says right
30:45
like no can't do it she's like no i got it yeah
30:47
and and she did it and i and and the nice thing
30:51
in my life is when i did that when i when i felt
30:53
called to do that and felt brave to do it i had
30:56
the support of my family and and so that's where
31:00
i just think um The mom guilt didn't come in
31:03
because I mean, you know, you, you mess up your
31:06
kids while I'm home with the kids. I'm, you know,
31:09
you yell, you get, you lose your cool, but, and
31:12
then you feel bad and all of that. So yes, definitely
31:15
had mom guilt, but maybe in a different way.
31:17
But once I was exploring and learning about myself,
31:21
I really loved it. I really loved it. And my
31:25
kids loved it too. Turns out they loved me being
31:30
this. brave person doing something that i didn't
31:35
believe i could do before we jump back in can
31:39
i ask you a quick favor if you're enjoying the
31:41
journey so far will you like rate and subscribe
31:45
to our show it helps us reach more people like
31:48
you we can design and create and build the most
31:51
wonderful place in the world but it takes people
31:54
to make the dream a reality I mean, it's a great
31:58
example of your kids. Of your four kids, boys
32:00
and girls, what's the next? Three girls and then
32:02
a boy. It's the thing about for those three girls,
32:05
right? Hey, my mom went and did this thing. Yeah.
32:08
Like she realized that she could be a great mom
32:11
and also... do something that she feels called
32:14
to do, do something in business. Yeah. And my,
32:16
my conversations with my kids are different than
32:19
what mine were. And I, I don't, nobody, nobody's
32:22
to blame. I'm not mad at anyone. It was just
32:25
the narrative I grew up in, you know, but, and
32:27
I placed on myself truly, but, um, I say to my
32:31
kids, you can have it all. You can get married
32:34
if you want. You don't have to get married. You
32:36
can have kids. You don't have to have kids. You
32:38
can. build a career if you have kids and want
32:41
to stay home that's beautiful and you know like
32:43
i i want all the options to be there for them
32:47
so that they really can see that because that's
32:50
the one thing i lacked was that and i know it
32:54
sounds so dumb i but it really is like this is
32:56
this is your path and it's a beautiful path yeah
32:59
and that was the only option i was given yeah
33:01
so it was really beautiful when i was given an
33:04
opportunity to go past the reef learn about myself
33:07
well and if we if we take a take a look at it
33:10
through the lens of mulan as well right yes you
33:12
know mulan has these expectations of what she's
33:15
supposed to do she's probably not a perfectionist
33:19
Uh, right. Uh, she, she does mess up things a
33:21
lot, but, but she's kind of, there's this prescriptive
33:24
path that she's supposed to have. She's supposed
33:26
to go, you know, get all dolled up and go have
33:29
a husband chosen for her and all these things.
33:31
Yes. Right. And, and yet she's called to something
33:36
else and she's called to it by really not a lot
33:41
of choices to save her dad. Right. Like she believes
33:45
in something bigger and greater. than you know
33:48
doing the perfect thing that everybody else thinks
33:50
that she's supposed to do and she does what she
33:52
believes is right right and um now she doesn't
33:56
have a lot of support unfortunately right right
33:59
and so she goes down this path but but being
34:01
forced into it like for you what what do you
34:04
see that she kind of learns in that journey going
34:07
down this path of like stepping into something
34:10
because she's compelled to as opposed to somebody
34:12
giving it to her yeah i mean she learns that
34:17
You kind of think of those learning to do the
34:21
battle scenes and the training and all of that.
34:23
She's not as coordinated. She's always behind.
34:26
But then this bigger cause inspires her and she
34:31
works hard and does it. That's right. She has
34:34
the discipline. Much like you were saying you
34:36
did. She had that discipline where she ends up
34:39
surpassing all of these guys because she's got
34:42
this discipline and this focus on what's the
34:45
purpose behind what she's doing. Yeah. She just
34:47
had never had the opportunity to do that. But
34:49
once she did, she showed that she could do it.
34:54
And I think she showed too that she was, what's
34:58
the right word I'm looking for? Ingenuitive is
34:59
not the right word, but like that she was able
35:02
to think of things and think through problems
35:04
that other people couldn't and didn't. Yeah.
35:07
Right. When the Huns had slaughtered the majority
35:11
part of the army they had, and now they're trying
35:14
to fight this huge army. She's the one that figures
35:17
out what to do causes to avalanche because she's
35:19
thinking outside the box She at this point time
35:21
has stepped into that power that she has to create
35:25
something different much like Isabella was right
35:27
and do something that It for that point in time
35:31
saves the army and and then does it again once
35:34
they try to take the Emperor Yeah, she figures
35:36
out how to how to help save the Emperor and by
35:39
doing so save all of China So, you know, I think
35:41
there's some great parallels there too for what
35:43
we see in when somebody is given the opportunity,
35:47
and Hershey kind of takes it, but given that
35:49
opportunity to step into something different.
35:52
And so for you, you're kind of given this opportunity
35:55
for this new business, this new venture. What
35:58
do you think are the biggest things that you
36:00
learned about yourself through that experience
36:03
of starting a business? So starting a new one
36:06
or the first one? Starting the first one. The
36:08
first one. I learned that I can be innovative.
36:13
Yeah. And you can because because I didn't go
36:17
to business school and I don't have an MBA. So
36:21
I don't know the textbook answers or here's you
36:24
know, and there's probably not a real answer
36:27
to everything. But but I think I went into it
36:31
with no knowledge. But what I figured out is
36:33
a process. that like I, one of my main, I had
36:38
a lot of responsibilities and so did my business
36:40
partner. When you're only two people, you just
36:42
kind of take on a lot, right? But mine was a
36:46
lot of the operations and I needed to order product
36:50
and I figured out, like I could go on and on
36:55
about that, but basically I didn't know how to
36:58
do it. I didn't know there were programs. I didn't
37:00
know there were things you could do to make it
37:01
easier. I did it the hard way, but it was because
37:04
that's all I knew. And I figured it out. But
37:07
what that did was teach me the process and exactly
37:10
why you do things. And then I also learned the
37:15
value of the phrase, you fake it till you make
37:17
it. There's value in that. And I learned that.
37:22
I learned that you can figure things out. You
37:25
can figure things out without the degree. I learned
37:31
that there were not very many obstacles that
37:34
you can't overcome. And then if you can't overcome
37:37
it, maybe that's not the way you're supposed
37:39
to go or you just try to go around it and do
37:42
it a different way. There's a lot of ways to
37:44
tackle a problem. Totally. And to do that, though,
37:49
you had to find, I'm sure, a little bit more
37:51
of that self -esteem and self -worth to have
37:56
the confidence to do that. because otherwise
37:58
that's learned something if something wasn't
38:00
working that could totally paralyze you cripple
38:03
you yeah yeah well when i'm when i'm watching
38:06
meet the robinsons and he he fails his his you
38:09
know his invention fails he kind of gets stuck
38:14
and he's like well he gives up a little bit right
38:16
totally and that would have been me that and
38:18
maybe in the beginning that was me but i i sometimes
38:22
when you've got more than just yourself riding
38:24
on something you're a little like like mulan
38:27
you have that motivation to figure it out and
38:30
get there yeah so so another another quote i
38:34
want to run by uh this is from one of my favorites
38:37
uh jamie kern lima and she says in her book uh
38:41
worthy self -confidence is the belief in your
38:45
abilities as a person self -worth is the belief
38:48
in your value as a person oh i like that so for
38:53
you where where did that lie in in understanding
38:57
your value as a person that it was inherent right
39:01
much like mirabel had to learn like the gift
39:06
is me yeah i don't have to have some other special
39:09
gift the gift is like who i am how how did that
39:12
come to light for you and what did that feel
39:15
like man i think that'll probably be something
39:18
i have to remind myself of my whole life but
39:21
i i think as you As you go through certain trials
39:27
and see how you respond and grow, that just naturally
39:31
happens. But I don't know that I'll ever figure
39:34
that out fully. Sure. You know? Well, I do think
39:37
it's, and that's okay. Yeah. Right? I think,
39:40
though, knowing that and reminding yourself of
39:46
that over time is very helpful. Yes. Because
39:49
it is easy to get down on ourselves when we do
39:52
have something that doesn't work. Or we have
39:54
people that doubt us. Or we have conflict with
39:57
other people. It's easy to think that we're not
40:00
enough and that we're not good enough. Yeah.
40:03
And I think what I've learned is it's okay to
40:06
feel the feelings. You're going to feel really,
40:10
really low, really, really angry. And then you
40:14
just say, okay, that's what it was. And then
40:19
you move forward. Yeah. You just, you know, like.
40:23
Maybe there is something you can learn from it.
40:25
Maybe you're totally misunderstood and not You
40:30
know you you haven't been treated well, and then
40:33
you and That's okay. Yeah, honestly sometimes
40:37
life isn't fair right yeah, and you just What
40:41
do you do now? What's ahead of you now? Let's
40:43
keep moving forward. Yeah, and that's that's
40:45
gotten me through some hard things For sure.
40:48
Yeah. And, you know, on that note of keeping
40:50
them forward, one of the things that you've done
40:51
recently is open a new chapter. Yeah. Started
40:54
at a new place. Yeah. In the COO role. What would
40:59
you say is maybe the biggest lesson you've learned
41:02
from starting this new chapter? Right. There
41:07
are certain lessons you had when you all started
41:09
that business. And now there's probably new lessons
41:12
you have as you're transitioning to a new opportunity.
41:15
What what's maybe some of the biggest lessons
41:17
you've learned from that? It's it's been a really
41:20
great opportunity to look back and appreciate
41:23
where I am now. I think that's the biggest thing.
41:26
And just like that's a big thing. I I came into
41:34
this new opportunity. and had some doubts within
41:39
myself but then just dug in it's that whole thing
41:43
like i can't keep i can't let the past hold me
41:45
back let's just move forward and be grateful
41:47
for what i have really and it's interesting how
41:50
quickly i my mindset changed so quickly but i
41:55
think it's healthy to feel the feelings yeah
41:57
because they're valid and then you move on and
42:01
um and now it's with excitement but this is there's
42:05
It's not a, there's risk, there's uncertainty,
42:09
but the things I believe in are, I believe in
42:13
this business, I believe in the people and the
42:16
why behind this business. And so my, you know,
42:20
with my first opportunity, I was in that for
42:23
15 years and I learned a lot. But what this new
42:27
opportunity is doing for me is really highlighting
42:31
what I learned. Sure. Because I'm coming in and
42:34
there's things that were just kind of the norm,
42:37
the day to day. And now it's, and it's not, and
42:40
it's nothing against, I mean, the people here
42:42
are wonderful, wonderful, smart people. And they're
42:46
just, it's kind of in the early stages of where
42:49
we were with my first business. I remember those
42:51
days and you're just. putting out fires. You're
42:54
just trying to survive. And that's where they
42:56
are. And so I've been able to come in and say,
42:59
well, here's some things that we can help with.
43:01
And I'm realizing, okay, I do know what I'm doing.
43:05
And it's exciting. And I don't know everything.
43:08
I will never think I know everything, but I have
43:11
something to offer. And that's the difference.
43:14
I think this time I'm thinking I have something
43:17
to offer and I can help. where before i wasn't
43:20
quite sure about that for sure you know and when
43:22
you're in a role that you're in right as a coo
43:25
you're obviously going to have a lot of people
43:26
that report to you directly that you manage what
43:30
what how do you coach your people when they're
43:35
experiencing self -doubt um or the fear of failure
43:40
i talk to him like i would want someone to talk
43:43
to me back in my teenage you know early adulthood
43:46
i would want them to say it's okay to fail You
43:49
figured it out. I don't want anyone like I would
43:51
never shame a person for failing. What did we
43:55
learn from it? Let's not make that mistake again,
43:57
if possible. And, you know, it's just a whole
44:00
it's a learning. I I love I've recently read.
44:04
Well, it was a few years ago, but Adam Grant
44:08
has a book and it's all about being a scientist
44:11
and showing curiosity. And I I think it's called
44:14
Think Again. And it's just. it's so refreshing
44:19
and that's how i try to talk to people yeah how
44:22
can we think of it differently adam grant's one
44:25
of my favorites yeah for sure um and you know
44:28
i do think that curiosity especially as a leader
44:31
when you're um the people in your charge um do
44:36
mess up or make a mistake but being curious about
44:38
why about how it happened i think it goes a long
44:41
way into building that relationship too yeah
44:43
right i want to be a safe person as their leader
44:46
i want to coach and guide, not micromanage, not
44:50
do the work for them. I want to remove obstacles
44:52
that I can to help them be their best self. Yeah.
44:56
Yeah. So, um, another, another quote to read
45:00
for you. And we kind of talked about it. We just
45:02
referenced it briefly, but I just, I love it
45:04
so much. And so I'm going to read it to you and
45:06
I'm going to not cry when I do it. Okay. Um,
45:09
so it's at the end when, um, they're rebuilding
45:11
the casita, right. And the gifts are all gone.
45:15
Nobody's got their gift anymore. And Mirabelle
45:19
is really starting to realize what she brings
45:21
to the table. And then the song goes, just one
45:25
more thing before the celebration. We need a
45:27
doorknob. We made this one for you. We see how...
45:30
Told you. I cried. We see how bright you burn.
45:36
We see how brave you've been. Now see yourself
45:39
in turn. You're the real gift, kid. Let us in.
45:43
I just think it's such a beautiful way. of of
45:46
kind of coming full circle for them all to embrace
45:48
her and um and to me that's kind of why it's
45:53
also why the importance of people in our lives
45:56
that will do that for us and that we do for them
45:58
because she had supported so many of them and
46:00
helping them step into their power and then they
46:03
in turn they can help her everything is so beautiful
46:06
yeah okay so the first the first kind of fun
46:09
segment we're gonna do is this or that so it's
46:11
just whichever one you think out of these two
46:13
and if it's a controversial opinion we will call
46:15
you out we will call you out no we won't right
46:17
we won't um okay the first one flowers or cacti
46:22
flowers yeah totally fair right like it's probably
46:24
an easy one even though i love isabella with
46:27
the cacti but you know it's flowers um singing
46:31
or dancing singing okay singing or playing the
46:35
piano playing the piano Okay. I had a hunch based
46:38
on our pre -show. I was like, I'm pretty sure
46:40
it might be playing the piano. Okay. It's totally
46:42
fair. The singing part would be with a choir,
46:44
not alone. Do you ever sing alone? You ever sing
46:47
a solo? I have, but I, it's not my strength.
46:49
No, it's not your, not your favorite. Are you
46:50
good at it? You just don't love doing it. I think
46:53
I'm, I think I'm average and I don't love the
46:56
attention. I kind of love, that's why I like
46:59
the piano because I'm a part of something, but
47:01
then I'm. I'm kind of hidden. Sure, an essential
47:05
component, and yet you don't have to be front
47:07
and center, which I actually think is such a,
47:09
I mean, I'm going to take this back. I'm going
47:11
to detour for a second. I do think it's such
47:13
an important thing that people understand more
47:17
about when you're looking at leadership in a
47:18
business or an organization, which is that difference
47:20
between sometimes what we called, and we had
47:23
a conversation about this, which is the visionary
47:25
and the integrator. Because it's essential to
47:28
have both. It's essential for both to value the
47:30
other and understand what that is. Because you
47:33
don't have to be front and center to have immense
47:36
impact on an organization. yeah right in fact
47:39
adam grant speaking of him talks a lot about
47:41
that like sometimes it's actually the person
47:43
who's more quiet who actually has more to say
47:45
and we should probably listen to yeah i remember
47:47
him saying that yeah and i'm i'm with it i think
47:50
he's right i think he's right okay sorry i had
47:52
a detour that's okay i forgot to talk about that
47:54
i love it yeah came to my mind and i just had
47:56
to circle back okay um making crafts or working
47:59
in the garden crafts big craft gal not a big
48:02
garden gal i'm a i love grandma hobbies I love
48:06
all the groundwork. You like crochet and knit?
48:07
Yeah, I just learned to crochet. I don't know
48:10
how to knit, but that's on the radar. I love
48:13
to quilt, cross -stitch. My 10 -year -old daughter
48:16
is learning how to crochet. Oh, yeah. In fact,
48:18
when I left this morning and I was telling her
48:20
goodbye, she was on her bed, and she's like,
48:21
got this book, and she's like, do it. I'm like,
48:24
all right, girl, get it. Girl, learn how to crochet
48:26
at 10. This is amazing. It's really fun, yeah.
48:29
Okay, river or lake? Lake. I assume so. Once
48:33
I learned that, like, you got a house on a lake,
48:34
I'm like, it's got to be the lake. It's the lake.
48:36
It's got to be the lake. Yeah. Okay, fair. Physical
48:39
book or audio book? Okay, I'm strange. I'm always
48:45
reading three. I always have a physical, an audio,
48:48
and a Kindle. I'm always in three books. Oh,
48:51
wow. Because there's always an opportunity to,
48:54
like, my Kindle's when I'm trying to, you know,
48:56
fall asleep and it's dark. And audio is if I'm
49:01
out walking. And I just like a physical. I'll
49:03
never give up on physical books. So if I had
49:05
to choose physical. Okay, if you had to choose,
49:07
that's what it would be. Yeah. I have fully given
49:09
up on physical books. Yeah, and I get it. Oh,
49:11
and I can't go back. But I've always been a reader.
49:13
Yeah. And there's just nothing that makes me
49:15
more happy than a library or a bookstore. I do.
49:19
There is something fun about a library. I mean,
49:22
I grew up going to it. My dad's a school teacher.
49:24
And so we would go to the library all the time.
49:26
The smell of a book. There is something to that.
49:30
I'm also just lazy and like holding it open and
49:34
like you're sitting there to like lay in bed
49:35
and you're like, you know, falling on your face.
49:38
That's why the Kindle can be nice. So you just
49:40
do all three. That's right. I like the idea of
49:41
all three. It's great. Okay. Beach or mountains?
49:45
Mountains. Yeah. Okay. That surprises me. I was
49:48
thinking you were going to go beach. Tell me
49:50
more. I guess sunburns. okay and i get a little
49:52
yeah that's true i get a little bored i want
49:55
like a half a day on the beach yeah but that's
49:57
oregon's great then you get a little both but
50:00
it's kind of cold too it is it's not not not
50:02
as hot but it's not as easy to get burned either
50:04
because it's not that searing heat the uv is
50:06
not quite so high oregon coast is beautiful though
50:09
oh my goodness you're on the beach with the mountains
50:11
right there Beautiful. I'm assuming Cannon Beach
50:14
is one you've been to as well there, which is
50:16
just phenomenal. Have you been to Astoria? Yeah.
50:19
Oh, goodness. The cutest city. It is the cutest
50:23
city. It's just like it's right out of a movie.
50:26
And it literally is. Right out of Goonies and
50:29
Kindergarten Cop. Oh, I didn't know that one.
50:31
But it's also like that's why because it's just
50:34
that way. It's just this like picturesque little
50:37
town. Yeah. Love it. Okay. Soda? Or dirty soda?
50:42
Dirty soda. Oh, you're a dirty soda gal. Okay,
50:45
what's your dirty soda of choice? Usually, if
50:47
I do it, I'll get either a Diet Coke or a Diet
50:51
Dr. Pepper with lime and coconut. just not very
50:54
good combo kind of basic i mean i love it um
50:57
you know when i go to like swig or these places
51:00
i usually just get the soda and i'm like why
51:03
am i here i know it's because somebody else is
51:05
i'm like i guess i'll go and i'll you know pay
51:07
twice as much for just getting the soda my favorite
51:09
thing though they have a water like it's a strawberry
51:12
breeze that's my favorite really yeah it's water
51:16
with coconut and little strawberry. That's kind
51:19
of what I get. So I don't drink as much soda,
51:21
but just because this is so good. That's probably
51:23
a good thing. I should drink less soda. Okay.
51:26
Board game or a puzzle? Puzzle. Big puzzle. You
51:31
big puzzle family or just you? Yeah. I mean,
51:34
certain members love a puzzle, but I love a puzzle.
51:37
Yeah. My wife loves a puzzle. Like her and her
51:41
family can get together and just like... silence
51:44
do this puzzle for hours and I'm like I'm like
51:47
falling asleep I'm like yeah you wake me up when
51:49
you've got a few left and you know I'll figure
51:52
it out at that point yeah okay let's move to
51:54
our rapid -fire okay so just first one that comes
51:57
to your mind no pressure you know there's no
51:59
right answers here we won't we won't criticize
52:00
you for an answer okay favorite Disney movie
52:04
Encanto yeah favorite Disney song Okay, I heard
52:11
you ask someone else this, so I thought about
52:13
it, and it depends on my mood. So true. That's
52:16
a very fair point. Because there's a lot of fun
52:18
ones, but the Lin -Manuel Miranda will always,
52:21
any song from him is so good. But the Caterpillar
52:25
one in Canto. Oh, yeah, Dos Oroguitas. How do
52:28
you not cry? Oh, my goodness. But then if you
52:32
want something that's kind of fun, it's the Hercules
52:34
one that the muses sing. Oh, yeah, the gospel
52:37
truth. Who puts the glad in gladiators. Yeah.
52:39
Or zero to hero. Or gospel truth, too. I love
52:42
that. Zero to hero. Anytime the muses sing. The
52:44
muses are great in that show. They're just so
52:46
good and sassy. They're so fun. I love it. I
52:48
love the sass from them. So it just kind of depends
52:50
on my mood. That's why I've got a good Disney
52:54
playlist that we listen to. What's your favorite?
52:57
If I had to pick one, it's either Family Madrigal
53:03
or it's You're Welcome. oh yeah i think you're
53:06
welcome was like i know why they didn't put that
53:10
one up for being nominated for the oscar like
53:12
i know why they didn't um how far how far i'll
53:15
go like i get it but that was actually the best
53:18
song from that movie and and it should i think
53:21
they should have put it up and i think it should
53:22
have won because it was such uh i don't know
53:26
such a well -crafted song that was so memorable
53:28
because it's lin -manuel yeah it's it was catchy
53:31
and we don't talk about bruno's pretty amazing
53:33
too but yeah but how far you'll go makes me cry
53:37
sometimes yeah or let it go you know just yo
53:40
yeah let it go did you like frozen too because
53:44
i loved it yeah but the only disadvantage is
53:46
my kids were older during the frozen era so we
53:49
didn't get as familiar with those but They're
53:52
wonderful. Yeah, whereas, like, my two girls,
53:54
my two little girls, when Frozen 2 came out,
53:56
they were, like, prime age for it. Yeah. So I'd
53:58
already liked Frozen 1, and then Frozen 2 comes
54:00
out. Now I actually might like Frozen 2 more
54:02
than Frozen 1. That's a hot take, everybody.
54:04
A hot take. It's a hot take. I know it's a few
54:06
years since that came out. But Frozen 3 is going
54:08
to come out, so we'll see. Oh, is it? Yeah, next
54:10
year, I think. Oh, great. They've been recording
54:11
with Kristen Bell. I saw that post because she's
54:15
amazing. She is. Okay. Favorite Disney princess?
54:18
Speaking of princesses. Well, Mulan is just different.
54:24
And I love that. I love the ones that are just
54:27
a little more adventurous. So I love Moana. They
54:31
don't have to be these perfect girls. Because
54:34
I love maybe a rule. Like I said, I love rule
54:39
breakers. I admire it so much. Someone who's
54:43
willing to put themselves out there. Okay, so
54:45
I'm actually going to throw in another this or
54:47
that because it's going to lead to my next question
54:49
for the rapid fire. disneyland or disney world
54:52
it'll probably always be disneyland that's where
54:56
i grew up going but i have a real love for disney
54:58
world too same yeah same the nostalgia is unmatched
55:02
for me in disneyland it just is is unmatched
55:04
yeah but boy i love me some disney world i know
55:07
i'm not gonna say no to it exactly i will never
55:10
say no yeah um okay so that being said favorite
55:13
ride at disneyland okay um That's hard, because
55:20
my favorite ride is in Disney World, actually.
55:22
Okay, and what's your favorite ride? Guardians
55:24
of the Galaxy. Oh, Epcot? And Epcot. It's because
55:27
it's just incredible. It's fun every single time,
55:30
every single time. And I'm older, and it's really
55:34
gentle on, you know, it just puts you into those
55:38
curves. And just the whole presentation of it,
55:41
where they've infused in the whole story to it,
55:43
and you see things projected. I mean, I don't
55:46
know, I was listening to a... disney podcast
55:48
actually the other day and they were talking
55:49
about i think it cost a billion dollars to build
55:52
and i'm like worth everything worth every penny
55:54
because i love it yeah but pirates probably in
55:57
disneyland pirates which is so good yeah it's
56:00
one of those classics pirates cars for me it's
56:03
cars at night oh yeah cars at night is like it's
56:07
magic yeah my wife and i both love cars at night
56:10
like we like wait intentionally to go on that
56:12
ride until it's nighttime so we can go on i'm
56:14
just like cruising through the the little town
56:17
yeah such such a fun place at night that's a
56:21
great place at night okay which incanto character
56:24
do you relate to most um probably isabel okay
56:30
yeah totally fair perfectionist What's your favorite
56:33
book right now? Oh, man. I have so many books
56:39
I love. That's why I threw in the right now because
56:42
I was like, when I was thinking about myself,
56:44
I was like, man, of all time, I don't really
56:45
know that I could answer that question. But like
56:46
right now, okay, I probably could come up with
56:48
one. Well, I do. I like any book. I'm so. I just
56:53
love to read so much. But I think that, have
56:56
you heard of the Emma M. Lyon books? Those are
56:59
delightful books. They're like kind of a Pride
57:03
and Prejudice type language, but funny. Actually,
57:09
Pride and Prejudice is funny too. But I'm reading
57:12
a sci -fi book right now that is... Giving me
57:15
life and I don't know is this the one that I
57:17
we talked about before dungeon crawler Carl Yeah,
57:20
that has got to be on my list. I've got to download
57:22
that not to tell me what you think Kindle unlimited.
57:25
Yeah it's really unlimited yeah and they're like
57:28
eight books out holy moly so you're set i know
57:31
i'm gonna be because that is the thing i hate
57:33
waiting for books to have to come out in a series
57:35
it's i get so impatient with that and then yeah
57:37
you go back and reread them so the fact there's
57:39
eight out is perfect because then i can just
57:40
dive into them yeah it sounds amazing but those
57:43
are i i'll think back on this and hate this answer
57:45
so much so but i i love every book i love books
57:48
you just love books uh i mean books are so great
57:50
um comfort food what's your comfort food um I
57:56
love spaghetti. Good spaghetti is delicious.
57:59
So good. Dream vacation spot? Europe. I love,
58:08
we just went on to the UK. And we spent, I spent
58:12
several weeks there. And just going all around.
58:16
Because I love getting to know other cultures.
58:22
history. I love history. I don't remember it
58:25
well, but I love history. And Europe's a great
58:30
place for that. Yeah. So, so probably I would
58:33
love, you know, a real good, like either France
58:37
or Italy, just like diving in and spending a
58:40
few weeks there. And just Spain I've heard is
58:42
wonderful. yeah i mean france give me give me
58:46
a little paris and i'm there because i would
58:47
go to disneyland paris a hundred percent have
58:50
you been there no so i've been to new york but
58:52
only for three days it was kind of a and and
58:55
i i actually felt something there like there's
59:00
a part of me there yeah i don't know it's one
59:02
of those it's a little cliche but i felt it there
59:05
i mean there's a reason why it's so popular because
59:07
a lot of people feel that way about it right
59:09
i mean i'm also a big uh believer in like the
59:12
experiencing the food of the place you go to
59:14
yeah yeah in france there's almost no better
59:16
place maybe italy would be better but yeah uh
59:18
boy those are two are pretty high on the list
59:20
around every corner yeah no doubt about it okay
59:24
so the way that we like to end every episode
59:28
is our guest giving us three actionable takeaways
59:33
uh based on the topic that we were discussing
59:36
okay so for you What are three things that somebody
59:41
could put into effect in their life today or
59:45
this week that could help them when it comes
59:48
to overcoming fear of failure, working through
59:54
or past perfectionism, right? Trying to find
59:57
more self -worth for understanding kind of who
1:00:00
they are. What would your three... actionable
1:00:03
takeaways be? We talked about it one time, but
1:00:06
curiosity to me is one of the most important
1:00:10
traits that a person can have. And I've really
1:00:13
tried to instill that. And so a lot of times
1:00:17
when I hear something that I just don't, I instantly
1:00:20
put a guard up with. I've learned to say what
1:00:23
I've kind of... I'm checking myself. Like, why
1:00:26
do you feel this way? Why do you feel so strongly
1:00:29
about this? And I'll just start to be curious
1:00:31
about why I have this guard up and then just
1:00:33
asking questions. We should never be afraid to
1:00:37
ask questions, ask why and figure out why you
1:00:42
maybe responded a certain way. Curiosity to me
1:00:45
is so good. And that just goes right into a little
1:00:50
like. Well, I don't know if it goes into it,
1:00:55
but that that whole self abandonment thing to
1:00:58
being true to yourself, because I think if I'd
1:01:02
shown if I had shown a little more curiosity
1:01:05
in those early years, I would have instead of
1:01:08
conforming and just doing what I thought I was
1:01:11
supposed to be doing. Why do I feel this way?
1:01:15
And, you know, and really exploring that that
1:01:19
whole thing with. feeling a little bit stuck.
1:01:25
Yeah. But not understanding why you're thinking
1:01:28
this is, this is what you're supposed to be doing
1:01:30
and it's good and it is, but also why do you
1:01:33
feel this way? So that curiosity. Okay. You know,
1:01:36
I love it. So, um, if, if I can, uh, um, kind
1:01:40
of recap to see if I'm getting this correct,
1:01:42
cause I love this. I would say, as I understand
1:01:45
it this week, if somebody feels like their guard
1:01:48
goes up, ask. First, be curious. Yeah. Be curious
1:01:52
as to why. Yeah. Ask questions to figure out
1:01:56
why that guard went up. And then maybe be adventurous
1:02:00
and try something new to be true to yourself
1:02:02
and not self -abandon. Yeah. I think so. Did
1:02:05
I get that right? Yeah. Because we all do that.
1:02:08
You hear something, maybe it's on social media
1:02:10
or a person at work or someone, and you're instantly
1:02:13
like, I don't know about that. I don't think
1:02:15
so. But do you really not know? And maybe there's
1:02:19
an opportunity to learn from a person and be
1:02:23
open to their information. There's a lot. I mean,
1:02:26
this can go even into work where maybe you hear
1:02:30
some feedback that you don't like. But their
1:02:33
reality is their reality, right? And maybe it's
1:02:37
about you. And you have to kind of think to yourself,
1:02:40
okay, take a deep breath and listen to the feedback
1:02:44
and learn from it. That's why I love the trigger
1:02:47
point that you're explaining, which is when your
1:02:49
guard goes up. Because I hadn't thought about
1:02:51
it through that lens of like, next time my guard
1:02:53
goes up, go through this. Hit these things because
1:02:57
that's a trigger to say like, okay, if my guard's
1:02:59
going up, I need to dig in. I need to be a little
1:03:02
more curious. I need to figure this out. I love
1:03:04
that. Yeah. It's fantastic. Well, Angie, thank
1:03:06
you so much for being on with us today. We are
1:03:08
inspired by you, by your path, by the things
1:03:14
that you've overcome and shown people in general,
1:03:17
but certainly women, of stepping into your power
1:03:21
and who you are and not being afraid to try something
1:03:24
new, learning what your skills are and that you
1:03:27
really can. do other things and do all the things
1:03:30
and find even more happiness in your life. So
1:03:32
just such a pleasure visiting with you. Thank
1:03:35
you. I enjoyed it too. Got it. As you leave this
1:03:39
conversation, remember that yes, the past can
1:03:42
hurt and you can either run from it or you can
1:03:45
learn from it. So here's to learning and finding
1:03:48
joy in the journey. See you real soon.