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Troubled Kids Inheritance · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Let's we got a question for American mama's. Dear mamas,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: why do some parents give their troubled kids all of
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: the inheritance and don't give their good kids anything. Well,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: let's ask our American mamas.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Mama, mama, she said, and joining us now our American
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: mama's turning out ofville and Kimberly burleson.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: So apparently this is something of a trend of some
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  Speaker 1: parents saying, look, I'm giving most of the inheritance to
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: this child because I know they need it, and you're fine,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: you don't need anything. And there seems to be some
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  Speaker 1: resentment growing online about some of this. Y'all seen this trend.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, we do.
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  Speaker 4: We see the trend, and we've actually seen it play
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: out in a family friend of ours. But what's happening
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: is you've got these children that are growing up, and
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: you've got a couple of kids that are making bad choices,
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: that are are living their life in a way that
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: is troublesome. And then you've got one kid that's doing
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: everything right. You know, he's got the family, he's got
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: the job, he's doing everything right. Doesn't mean everything's not
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  Speaker 4: a struggle, you know, but he's doing everything right. Parents
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  Speaker 4: die and in the will they leave pretty much everything
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: to the troubled kids because they worried about them, and
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: nothing is left to the kid that they deemed strong
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  Speaker 4: and they've got it all under control. And it creates
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  Speaker 4: a problem with the children because it's rewarding basically bad behavior.
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  Speaker 4: And I think our country we have a problem with this.
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  Speaker 4: I remember in elementary when the bad kids basically they
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  Speaker 4: did a field trip with them because they're trying to
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  Speaker 4: get them involved, they want them to be more focused,
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  Speaker 4: and so it's like all the bad kids would on
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  Speaker 4: this field trip and then here I was the quiet
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  Speaker 4: do everything right. We didn't get to have that experience
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: because of rewarding the bad kids. Look at our welfare system.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: We reward bad caper and it's frustrating. It's very frustrating.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: And there's also a bit of a prodigal sun story here.
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  Speaker 1: If you go to the Bible, you have the prodigal
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  Speaker 1: son who wasted his inheritance, you know, spend it all
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  Speaker 1: on you know, hookers and drugs or whatever, Old Testament
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  Speaker 1: drinking or whatever. Comes back home and dad welcomes with
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  Speaker 1: open arms. Here, have a coat and have a ring
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  Speaker 1: we're gonna throw a party. And the son who's been
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  Speaker 1: at home the whole time, who's been good, goes, wait
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: a minute, what about me? I've been the good one
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  Speaker 1: this whole time. Where's my coat? Where's my ring?
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: I mean this is kind of an old story.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Yes, well, and what's happening also is sometimes you know,
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: parents will ride up their wheel before they're gone. Yes,
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  Speaker 3: and so when the will is shared with the children,
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: and the responsible child gets wind of this and says,
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: wait a minute, ask the parents why does so and
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: so who he dropped out of school, he's had to
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: go to rehab. He know, he's got three babies from
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: three different women. Why does he get to have the house?
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  Speaker 3: Why does he get to have the money? And the
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  Speaker 3: parents say, well, because we knew that you could take
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: care of yourself, we knew that you could handle it
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  Speaker 3: well that this has happened, and this person says, okay,
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: thank you for letting me know I'll have a good life,
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  Speaker 3: doesn't speak to his parents. So then they come back
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: and thought, are you mad at us? And he's like,
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  Speaker 3: what do you mean, I've done everything you've asked of me.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: He's done nothing that you've asked, and yet he gets everything.
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  Speaker 3: You know, rethink this, So the resentment comes from I
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  Speaker 3: did what you wanted me to do. I made life
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  Speaker 3: easy for you. He has made things difficult. You had
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: ulcers because of him, instead of letting him know I
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: love you equally. You'll get half of the house. You
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: get half of the house, you get you know, why
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  Speaker 3: in the world would you just give him this on
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  Speaker 3: a silver platter?
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  Speaker 1: Right?
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  Speaker 3: And we've seen this before in a family where the
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: parents are still alive and they they give mostly to
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: the one who doesn't do the things right way, which
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: interesting is the brother that does everything right, that knows
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: that everything goes to his other two siblings. He's like,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: I don't care. It's the wife. It's the wife that
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  Speaker 3: feels like you're being taken advantage of. You're the one
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  Speaker 3: taking care of your parents, You're the one taking care
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  Speaker 3: of their yards, You're the one they live far away,
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  Speaker 3: and yet they're getting the bulk of everything. And he's like,
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  Speaker 3: I don't care. He's still a good son. He has
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  Speaker 3: zero resentment. But as it's almost like if something happens
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  Speaker 3: to me and my sisters get upset, I'm like, no,
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  Speaker 3: I can handle this. But I get it because if
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  Speaker 3: something happens to them and they're like, no, I'm good.
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  Speaker 3: I don't care what they say about me, You're ready
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  Speaker 3: to fight. So the wife is going, this just feels
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  Speaker 3: so backwards.
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  Speaker 4: And that's with his wife. She feels so frustrated with it.
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  Speaker 4: She said, I don't want anything. I want them to
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  Speaker 4: spend all their money. This isn't about inheritance. It's about this.
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  Speaker 3: It's off.
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  Speaker 4: It's not fair.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: About what seems fair. Yeah, it's just because parents are
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: continuing to infantilize their adult children. At some point you
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: stop being a you know, a helicopter parent. At least
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: you should, right. I mean, my wife and I we
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: said we weren't raising kids, we were raising adults. And
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  Speaker 1: that was our goal from the beginning, was to raise
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  Speaker 1: kids who could be adults so that we weren't still
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  Speaker 1: having parents them when they're.
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  Speaker 3: For advice to the parents, split things evenly. What mom did,
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  Speaker 3: as you know she was alive, what she did was
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: she started giving things away to us. And then when
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: we didn't know that she was going to die, I
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: think she probably knew because one Christmas she said, I
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: want you girls and Jason to come over and let's
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: y'all pick out the things that you Why Mom, why
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: do you want us to take your Christmas stuff? I
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: don't have room and I'm tired of getting it out
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  Speaker 3: every Christmas? But she wanted us. You know, draw straws.
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  Speaker 3: You go first. Now everybody picks whatever they want. Nobody
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  Speaker 3: had hard feelings, no one felt more love than the others.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: It's just if you want to do it fairly, just
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: split it, or do it ahead of time.
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  Speaker 4: I like that.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Do your entire inheritance as a white elephant gift? Do
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: you like to desk car American Mama's a question? Go
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: to our website American ground Ready dot com, slash mamas
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: and click on the ass. The mama's button turned out
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: of a Kimberly Brothers and thank you so much, Thank you,