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Transcript

How Do I Find Myself Again? (You Don't, You Remember) · Your Utmost Life

• 0:00
  Misty Celli: I want to ask you something and I want you to actually sit with it, feel it into it, rather than just think your way to it.
• 0:10
  Misty Celli: Close your eyes for just a second, or soften your gaze if you're driving, and think about a moment.
• 0:17
  Misty Celli: It doesn't have to be recent, it can be years ago, it can be a long time ago, but just sometime when you felt completely, undeniably, quietly like yourself, not performing, managing, or measuring up to anything, just being present in your own skin, grounded, alive, recognizable to yourself.
• 0:44
  Misty Celli: Can you feel it?
• 0:46
  Misty Celli: Even the slightest bit of it?
• 0:49
  Misty Celli: That feeling, however faint, however far away it seems right now, is not a memory of someone who no longer exists.
• 0:59
  Misty Celli: It is a signal from someone who is still there, waiting for you to stop searching long enough to remember.
• 1:10
  Misty Celli: Today I want to completely change the question you've been asking yourself because I think the question itself has been part of the problem.
• 1:19
  Misty Celli: You've been asking, how do I find myself again?
• 1:23
  Misty Celli: And that question, however sincere, sends you outwards.
• 1:28
  Misty Celli: It sends you searching, it turns finding yourself into a project, a destination, something you have to locate somewhere outside of yourself, out there in the world.
• 1:40
  Misty Celli: And that search has been exhausting you because you've been looking for someone in all the wrong places.
• 1:47
  Misty Celli: Therefore, today we are replacing that question with a different one.
• 1:52
  Misty Celli: And the new question changes everything about where you look and how hard the looking has to be.
• 1:58
  Misty Celli: Not how do I find her, but how do I remember her?
• 2:03
  Misty Celli: Stay with me because the difference between those two questions is the difference between starting from zero and coming home to yourself.
• 2:13
  Misty Celli: Are you tired of feeling like you don't know who you are anymore?
• 2:16
  Misty Celli: Do you look in the mirror and catch yourself thinking, is this all there is, even though you know you are made for more?
• 2:23
  Misty Celli: You're in the right place.
• 2:25
  Misty Celli: I'm Misty Celle, and I help women step into their highest potential and design a life that feels true, rich, and deeply satisfying.
• 2:33
  Misty Celli: A life built by design, not by default.
• 2:36
  Misty Celli: On this podcast, you will learn the principles and strategic tools that create real lasting transformation in your health, your relationships, your confidence, your goals, and the deeper parts of you like purpose, growth, love, and parenting.
• 2:50
  Misty Celli: This is where you begin the process of becoming your utmost self and reclaiming a life that feels like yours again.
• 2:57
  Misty Celli: Welcome to your Utmost Life Podcast.
• 3:00
  Misty Celli: Before I get into anything, I want to acknowledge something.
• 3:05
  Misty Celli: You are tired of searching.
• 3:07
  Misty Celli: And I don't mean that lightly or metaphorically.
• 3:10
  Misty Celli: I mean the actual physical exhaustion of a woman who's been trying to locate herself for a very long time, who has read the books and done the journaling and taken the courses and had the conversations and still finds herself standing in the middle of her own life, feeling like a stranger.
• 3:28
  Misty Celli: And somewhere in all that searching, a quiet despair has settled in.
• 3:34
  Misty Celli: Not dramatic despair, the quiet kind.
• 3:37
  Misty Celli: The kind that sounds like maybe I'm not someone who gets to have this.
• 3:42
  Misty Celli: Maybe other women find their way back and I just can't.
• 3:48
  Misty Celli: Maybe I've been away too long.
• 3:51
  Misty Celli: Maybe the version of me I'm looking for doesn't exist anymore, and I just haven't accepted that yet.
• 3:58
  Misty Celli: I want you to feel that for a moment, not to sit in it, but to acknowledge it, because that despair is real and it deserves to be named before we move past it.
• 4:10
  Misty Celli: However, here is what I want you to hold right alongside it.
• 4:15
  Misty Celli: That despair is not evidence that she's gone.
• 4:19
  Misty Celli: It's evidence that you've been searching in the wrong direction.
• 4:23
  Misty Celli: And wrong direction is not the same as dead end.
• 4:27
  Misty Celli: Wrong direction just means turn around, look somewhere different, look somewhere you haven't looked yet.
• 4:35
  Misty Celli: And that is exactly what we're going to do today.
• 4:39
  Misty Celli: Here's what I think has been happening inside you.
• 4:42
  Misty Celli: Tell me how close this lands.
• 4:45
  Misty Celli: You've been trying to figure out who you are, trying to identify your values, your passions, your purpose, all the things that the self-help world tells you to find.
• 4:56
  Misty Celli: And yet, every time you sit down to do that work, you hit this wall.
• 5:01
  Misty Celli: Because when you try to answer the question, who am I?
• 5:04
  Misty Celli: You genuinely don't know.
• 5:07
  Misty Celli: And the not knowing feels like proof of something, like evidence that you are somehow more lost than other women.
• 5:16
  Misty Celli: Like everyone else has a self to return to, and somehow you misplaced yours more completely.
• 5:25
  Misty Celli: And therefore, the work feels impossible before it even begins.
• 5:29
  Misty Celli: Because how do you start a journey when you don't know who's supposed to be making it?
• 5:36
  Misty Celli: However, here's what I want to offer you.
• 5:39
  Misty Celli: And this is the shift that changes everything.
• 5:43
  Misty Celli: You are not blank.
• 5:45
  Misty Celli: You are not empty.
• 5:47
  Misty Celli: You are not someone who has to build from scratch.
• 5:52
  Misty Celli: The reason the question, who am I, feels so impossible is not because there's no answer, it's because you're looking for the answer in the future and who you're going to become when the answer has always lived in the past.
• 6:09
  Misty Celli: And who you already were, and what you already knew about yourself before everything got loud and the roles took over and her voice got quieter than everything else.
• 6:23
  Misty Celli: You don't have to find her, you have to remember her.
• 6:28
  Misty Celli: And remembering however long you've been away is always possible.
• 6:34
  Misty Celli: Because you cannot remember something that never existed or you've never experienced.
• 6:39
  Misty Celli: I want to tell you about a dream I had when I was young.
• 6:43
  Misty Celli: My dad built custom luxury homes.
• 6:46
  Misty Celli: I grew up watching him take an empty space of land and turn it into something that would hold a family's entire life, their memories, their milestones, their ordinary Tuesday mornings, and their extraordinary celebrations.
• 7:01
  Misty Celli: And my mom loved interior design.
• 7:04
  Misty Celli: She understood that a home wasn't just a structure, it was a story, and it was a place where a life got to play out.
• 7:11
  Misty Celli: And I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a real estate agent, not for the transaction of it, but for what I understood a home to mean.
• 7:20
  Misty Celli: I wanted to help people find the place where their life could happen, their safe place, their story, the space that was entirely unapologetically theirs.
• 7:31
  Misty Celli: I was working toward that gene, genuinely working toward it.
• 7:35
  Misty Celli: When life shifted underneath me, I was a single mother in a city without my support system, and I had to be honest with myself about what showing homes at night and on weekends with last minute calls and unpredictable schedules would actually mean for my daughter.
• 7:51
  Misty Celli: And so I made a choice, a quiet, painful, loving choice.
• 7:55
  Misty Celli: I set the dream down, not because I stopped wanting it, not because I doubted myself, but because I knew what mattered most in that season, and I chose her.
• 8:06
  Misty Celli: However, and this is the part of the story I need you to hear, I did not lose the dream.
• 8:12
  Misty Celli: I deferred it.
• 8:14
  Misty Celli: Because dreams like self-worth do not have an expiration date.
• 8:18
  Misty Celli: Twenty years later, I got my real estate license.
• 8:22
  Misty Celli: I came back for it on my own terms and my own time as the woman I had become.
• 8:27
  Misty Celli: And when I walked back into that dream, it fit.
• 8:31
  Misty Celli: Not because it was new, but because it was always mine.
• 8:35
  Misty Celli: I didn't find a new dream.
• 8:37
  Misty Celli: I simply remembered the one that had been waiting.
• 8:40
  Misty Celli: And the personal growth work, the obsession with evolving, with potential, with becoming more fully yourself, that was always in me too.
• 8:50
  Misty Celli: Long before your utmost self existed, long before I had a framework or a methodology or a podcast, that thread was always there, running underneath everything, waiting to be picked up and followed all the way home.
• 9:05
  Misty Celli: I didn't invent Misty Celle, founder of your utmost self.
• 9:09
  Misty Celli: I remembered her.
• 9:10
  Misty Celli: I followed the thread of what had always been true about me, the love of homes and belonging and helping people find their place, the deep belief in growth and potential and becoming, and I let those threads lead me back to myself, and then forward into something I hadn't even imagined yet.
• 9:31
  Misty Celli: That is what remembering looks like.
• 9:34
  Misty Celli: It's not a dramatic reinvention or starting from scratch.
• 9:38
  Misty Celli: It is a return, a recognition, the quiet, certain feeling of, oh, there she is, there I am.
• 9:48
  Misty Celli: And here is what I know about you, even though we haven't met.
• 9:51
  Misty Celli: That thread is still in you.
• 9:54
  Misty Celli: The thing that has always been true about you before the rolls, before the noise, before everything got loud, it is still there, quieter than it used to be.
• 10:05
  Misty Celli: However, the quiet is not gone.
• 10:08
  Misty Celli: And the moment you stop searching outward long enough to turn inward, you will feel it because it's been there the whole time.
• 10:17
  Misty Celli: I want to talk about what remembering actually feels like in the body, because I think part of why the searching has been so exhausting is that it feels like intellectual work, like you're supposed to sit down and complete a questionnaire about your values and passions and life purpose and somehow arrive at a self on the other side.
• 10:39
  Misty Celli: That process feels foreign because it is.
• 10:42
  Misty Celli: That's not how you return to yourself, come back to who you're looking for.
• 10:48
  Misty Celli: She comes back in flickers and small moments of recognition, and the things that catch your attention before your brain has a chance to edit them, and the opinion that rises in you before you talk yourself out of expressing it, and the song that moves through you and leaves something behind.
• 11:08
  Misty Celli: And the moment you're doing something, anything, and you feel briefly and unmistakably like yourself, those flickers are not random.
• 11:19
  Misty Celli: They're not nostalgia, they are her, reminding you, showing you the thread, saying, This is still true.
• 11:29
  Misty Celli: This is still you.
• 11:32
  Misty Celli: Therefore, the work of remembering is not about constructing an identity from the outside in.
• 11:39
  Misty Celli: It is about learning to recognize the signals she's already sending, getting still enough to feel them, trust them when they come, rather than immediately question whether they're valid, whether you're allowed to want them, whether they fit the life you're currently living.
• 11:56
  Misty Celli: And here is the most important thing I want to say about this, because it is the thing that has separates remembering from finding.
• 12:05
  Misty Celli: When you are finding something, the absence of it means it isn't there yet.
• 12:13
  Misty Celli: Every day you don't find it is another day of failure.
• 12:18
  Misty Celli: However, when you're remembering something, the fact that you haven't fully accessed it yet doesn't mean it's absent.
• 12:28
  Misty Celli: It means you haven't gotten still enough to hear it clearly, and still is something you can practice.
• 12:35
  Misty Celli: Being still is something you can choose.
• 12:38
  Misty Celli: Being still long enough, in fact, the entire first phase of the work.
• 12:45
  Misty Celli: You are not starting from zero.
• 12:47
  Misty Celli: You are returning to something, and returning, however long the road, is always closer than the beginning.
• 12:55
  Misty Celli: I know what might be sitting in you right now, because it's the thing that sits in almost every woman when she first hears this.
• 13:03
  Misty Celli: It sounds something like, but what if I remember and what I remember doesn't fit my life anymore?
• 13:11
  Misty Celli: What if the woman I was before isn't compatible with the woman I need to be now?
• 13:17
  Misty Celli: What if remembering her means losing something I've built?
• 13:22
  Misty Celli: That fear makes complete sense.
• 13:25
  Misty Celli: However, I want to offer you something about it.
• 13:29
  Misty Celli: See, remembering yourself is not about going back.
• 13:35
  Misty Celli: It's not about becoming who you were at 25 or 30 or before the marriage or before the kids.
• 13:42
  Misty Celli: Those seasons shaped you.
• 13:45
  Misty Celli: The love you poured out, the sacrifices you made, the woman you became in the giving, all of that is part of you too.
• 13:55
  Misty Celli: Therefore, remembering is not subtraction, it is addition.
• 14:01
  Misty Celli: It is taking everything you have become and reuniting it with everything you've always been.
• 14:09
  Misty Celli: The woman you remember is not younger than you.
• 14:13
  Misty Celli: She is not simpler than you.
• 14:16
  Misty Celli: She is not less than the woman standing here now.
• 14:19
  Misty Celli: She is the foundation underneath everything you have built.
• 14:24
  Misty Celli: And a foundation doesn't make the structure less, it makes it possible.
• 14:31
  Misty Celli: Furthermore, the thing that at the things that you were always true about you don't become untrue because life got complicated.
• 14:42
  Misty Celli: Your curiosity didn't expire, your desires didn't become invalid, your sense of what matters or what moves you or what makes you feel alive.
• 14:54
  Misty Celli: Those things just went quiet.
• 14:56
  Misty Celli: They did not go away.
• 14:58
  Misty Celli: And the life you have built is not in conflict with them, it is waiting to be infused by them.
• 15:08
  Misty Celli: You don't have to choose between the woman you were and the life you have.
• 15:13
  Misty Celli: You get to bring her into it fully and finally.
• 15:19
  Misty Celli: I want you to imagine something specific.
• 15:22
  Misty Celli: It is an ordinary morning, not a special occasion, not a milestone, just a Tuesday.
• 15:30
  Misty Celli: And you are moving through it differently than you have been.
• 15:35
  Misty Celli: Not because your circumstances have changed, the kids still need breakfast, the day still needs happening, the life is still the same life.
• 15:44
  Misty Celli: However, something underneath it is different.
• 15:49
  Misty Celli: You are making decisions from a place of knowing, small decision, small decisions about what you want for breakfast, what music you want to hear, what you actually think about the thing someone just asked your opinion on.
• 16:06
  Misty Celli: And you answer without the usual pause, the usual checking, the usual wondering whether your preference is the right one or the acceptable one.
• 16:18
  Misty Celli: You just know.
• 16:20
  Misty Celli: And the knowing feels like coming home to a room you had forgotten was yours.
• 16:26
  Misty Celli: Your daughter asks you something about your life, what you wanted to be when you were young, what you love, what you dream about, and you answer her.
• 16:37
  Misty Celli: Really answer her.
• 16:39
  Misty Celli: Not a deflection, not a humble dismissal, but a real answer from a woman who knows herself well enough to share herself.
• 16:48
  Misty Celli: And she looks at you with something in her eyes that you recognize as the thing you've always wanted her to have.
• 16:55
  Misty Celli: The permission modeled by your own life to know herself too.
• 17:01
  Misty Celli: You are not a new woman.
• 17:04
  Misty Celli: You are not a reinvented woman.
• 17:07
  Misty Celli: You are the woman who was always underneath everything, finally living at the surface, finally audible, finally home, finally whole, living a whole life as a whole woman.
• 17:26
  Misty Celli: And here is what I need you to understand about that vision.
• 17:30
  Misty Celli: It does not begin with a dramatic transformation, it begins with a question, the right question.
• 17:39
  Misty Celli: Not who do I need to become, but what do I already know about myself that I have stopped listening to?
• 17:47
  Misty Celli: That question is the door, and you are standing right in front of it.
• 17:53
  Misty Celli: Here's the thing I want you to walk away with today, and I mean really walk away with it, not just nod at it and let it fade by the time you get home.
• 18:03
  Misty Celli: You are not starting from zero.
• 18:06
  Misty Celli: You have never been starting from zero.
• 18:10
  Misty Celli: Every moment you felt like yourself, every flicker, every glimpse, every second of recognition that was her.
• 18:19
  Misty Celli: That is still her.
• 18:21
  Misty Celli: And she has been leaving you a trail of breadcrumbs this entire time, and every moment that felt true and alive and undeniably yours.
• 18:31
  Misty Celli: The work is not to build her.
• 18:35
  Misty Celli: It is to follow the trail back to her.
• 18:38
  Misty Celli: And that process, the remembering, the listening, the learning to trust what she's been sending you all along, that is exactly what the discovery phase of your Upmost Method is built around.
• 18:51
  Misty Celli: Not a questionnaire, not a personality test, not a list of values you choose from a menu, a real guided process of returning to what has always been true about you.
• 19:04
  Misty Celli: Because here is what I know.
• 19:06
  Misty Celli: The reason finding yourself feels impossible is because you have been looking for someone new.
• 19:13
  Misty Celli: However, she is not new.
• 19:16
  Misty Celli: She is familiar.
• 19:17
  Misty Celli: And familiar however long it's been is always recognizable when you get close enough to see it clearly.
• 19:24
  Misty Celli: Thursday, I'm going to show you something that I think is going to make the remembering feel not just possible, but inevitable.
• 19:32
  Misty Celli: We're talking about what has actually been drowning her out and what it looks like to start turning down the volume because getting still enough to hear her is a practice, and it is a practice I can walk you through.
• 19:47
  Misty Celli: I'll see you Thursday.
• 19:48
  Misty Celli: Subscribe if you haven't so it finds you automatically.
• 19:52
  Misty Celli: And before we go, carry this today.
• 19:55
  Misty Celli: I am not looking for someone new.
• 19:58
  Misty Celli: I am returning to someone familiar, and she has been leaving me a trail the entire time.
• 20:04
  Misty Celli: When the searching starts again, and it will, because old habits of our mind are persistent, I want you to redirect it.
• 20:12
  Misty Celli: Stop asking, who do I need to become?
• 20:15
  Misty Celli: And ask instead, what do I already know that I haven't been listening to?
• 20:21
  Misty Celli: That question is smaller, it is quieter, and it will take you somewhere the searching never could.
• 20:28
  Misty Celli: You are more than everyone's everything.
• 20:31
  Misty Celli: You are someone and deserve to embrace your utmost self.
• 20:36
  Misty Celli: I'll see you Thursday.