Latest / Deeply Well with Devi Brown / Thoughts about God and Grief

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Thoughts about God and Grief · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

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Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
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Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
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Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
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Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
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Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
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Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
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Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
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Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo cheriots to keep
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Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,
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Speaker 1: opal brown courts, bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of
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Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
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Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the as this
1:00
Speaker 1: is at the ancestors told me that you would come
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Speaker 1: to give wisdom. Thus they said you would come. All right,
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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of the Dropping Gym's podcast,
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Speaker 1: What's Stebbie Brown? We're at episode fifteen. Now. I know,
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Speaker 1: first things first, before I even get into this episode,
1:22
Speaker 1: we got to talk about the hiatus. I got a
1:25
Speaker 1: few festive d M s about when this podcast was
1:30
Speaker 1: coming back. Very colorful, but you know, I really needed
1:35
Speaker 1: this winter break. I have a lot on my plate
1:37
Speaker 1: right now, so a little bit of catch up. I mean,
1:39
Speaker 1: you know the obvious, he got your kids. I'm a
1:42
Speaker 1: mom um, family stuff. But I have a lot of
1:47
Speaker 1: things in the fire right now, a lot of things
1:49
Speaker 1: in the pipeline for my business and myself. I have
1:53
Speaker 1: officially started writing my second book. Really excited about that. Um.
1:59
Speaker 1: This book, I truly feel has been a calling from
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Speaker 1: God and it just has taken over. This next book
2:07
Speaker 1: is not going to have anything to do with crystals,
2:10
Speaker 1: but it's more going to be a deep dive into
2:12
Speaker 1: healing as women and into wellness as women of colors.
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Speaker 1: So I'm really excited to share this with you when
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Speaker 1: I finished. More details will becoming, especially that pre order
2:23
Speaker 1: but that you know that will be on the way.
2:25
Speaker 1: But I've been working on that. Another facet of my
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Speaker 1: business is I do wellness consultation, specifically in diversity and
2:34
Speaker 1: diversifying audiences for established wellness brands. So I have had
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Speaker 1: the beautiful opportunity to work with a lot of brands,
2:44
Speaker 1: companies and people that I am very inspired by. But
2:48
Speaker 1: that's work. So as we've been kind of working on
2:52
Speaker 1: those things, there's proposals they're showing up. There's you know,
2:55
Speaker 1: just lots of layers and lots of research. So because
2:59
Speaker 1: I'm just to simple human, uh, just one person, I
3:02
Speaker 1: could only focus on a few things at a time.
3:04
Speaker 1: But I am excited to be back with you now
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Speaker 1: working on this podcast, dropping Gym's podcast, and this episode
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Speaker 1: specifically is one that you know, I kind of wanted
3:16
Speaker 1: to do a check in episode. I have a rollout coming,
3:20
Speaker 1: um some cool things and cool announcements regarding this podcast
3:24
Speaker 1: and potential acquisitions and new opportunities for expansion. But um,
3:31
Speaker 1: I decided, instead of just waiting to roll all of
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Speaker 1: that stuff out, let me check in now and do
3:36
Speaker 1: a little bit of a podcast episode about some of
3:38
Speaker 1: the things that I've been giving a lot of thought
3:41
Speaker 1: too lately, and some of the things that have been
3:43
Speaker 1: affecting the world that we all live in. UM. So this,
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Speaker 1: you know, the past really week, maybe at this point
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Speaker 1: in the past two weeks or week and a half, UM,
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Speaker 1: I have been really navigating quite a bit of depression,
4:00
Speaker 1: and that depression was very much kicked off um by
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Speaker 1: finding out about the death of Kobe Bryant, his daughter
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Speaker 1: g G and seven other beautiful souls on that helicopter,
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Speaker 1: and I think that we have had a collective grief
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Speaker 1: going on with that, you know. Um. But for me,
4:23
Speaker 1: it's you know, I'm an impas, I'm a deep feeler.
4:26
Speaker 1: It's very rare that I can cry about myself, um,
4:29
Speaker 1: and I should probably look into that, um. But I
4:31
Speaker 1: don't really cry about things that affect me. But when
4:35
Speaker 1: I see people in pain, it's really tough. It's really tough. Um.
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Speaker 1: The deepest part of me just really wants to find
4:44
Speaker 1: a way to help. And you just process the effect
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Speaker 1: of a life that big on the hearts of people everywhere.
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Speaker 1: You know, his life affected millions and millions and millions
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Speaker 1: of people. So, you know, whenever I feel like depression
4:59
Speaker 1: coming on, I'm a very highly functional depressed person. I
5:04
Speaker 1: can get a lot done in that space. UM. But
5:06
Speaker 1: I really wanted to let myself just sit in it
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Speaker 1: and feel. The death of Kobe was triggering for a
5:13
Speaker 1: couple of reasons. For me. I felt, Um, I felt
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Speaker 1: really devastated obviously for his wife, Vanessa and his remaining children,
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Speaker 1: especially the two babies that have not had a chance
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Speaker 1: to live and know him. You know. Um, I was
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Speaker 1: very triggered by his death and being reminded of Nipsey's death,
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Speaker 1: who I knew and loved very much. And the timeline
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Speaker 1: of Kobe's death actually also fell onto the anniversary of
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Speaker 1: one of my best friends who was murdered when I
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Speaker 1: was eighteen. His name was Dwyane Winfield. He was an
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Speaker 1: amazing guy, and it fell right around the death anniversary
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Speaker 1: for him, and so it was just it was just
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Speaker 1: kind of a lot happening at one time. I'm you know,
6:01
Speaker 1: the concept of grief is kind of omnipresent in our
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Speaker 1: lives right now because we see more tragedy than our
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Speaker 1: brains and hearts were built to receive and endure in
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Speaker 1: two thousand and twenty, you know, so we are always
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Speaker 1: kind of navigating many griefs in our lives in ways
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Speaker 1: that I think we don't even societally fully understand the
6:25
Speaker 1: ramifications of having this much access to things that other
6:29
Speaker 1: people are going through at one time, right because you
6:31
Speaker 1: don't have bandwidth or capacity to care about everyone and
6:36
Speaker 1: everything at all moments. So even experiencing that desensitization to
6:41
Speaker 1: some of um, the really horrifying things that we see
6:44
Speaker 1: as we scroll, you know, it's a lot it's a
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Speaker 1: lot to navigate. It's a lot to deal with when
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Speaker 1: we think about our own many griefs of when we
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Speaker 1: are evolving into new versions of ourselves and the death
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Speaker 1: experience that comes with that in side of us, right
7:01
Speaker 1: like the death of different friendships or relationships, the death
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Speaker 1: of versions of ourselves that life has radically changed. You know,
7:10
Speaker 1: it's not a better or worse than it's not really
7:13
Speaker 1: a judgment of good or bad. It just is what
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Speaker 1: that is is very real, and we don't always have
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Speaker 1: a chance to process. So when the news came out
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Speaker 1: that Kobe passed, it fell right in line with me
7:26
Speaker 1: leaving out on my family vacation, and I just decided
7:29
Speaker 1: to completely unplug after that and focus completely on being
7:34
Speaker 1: in my own head. You know, how often do we
7:36
Speaker 1: get the chance to really do that. So I have
7:39
Speaker 1: been um relaxing in my grief. You know, I think
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Speaker 1: something that really comes up in moments like this, and
7:47
Speaker 1: certainly something that came up for me when Nipsey passed,
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Speaker 1: and I shared this on previous episodes, is it brings.
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Speaker 1: It brings to you, UM, quite a lot of thoughts
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Speaker 1: about the way that you experience God. And so that's
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Speaker 1: what I really want to talk about on this episode today.
8:03
Speaker 1: I want to share some of the thoughts that I
8:06
Speaker 1: have been having about God and what that means. So lately,
8:10
Speaker 1: I've been allowing myself to sit inside my brain and
8:16
Speaker 1: inside my heart, and I have been giving a lot
8:20
Speaker 1: of complex thought to the way that I experience God
8:24
Speaker 1: and what God is in my life and what that means.
8:28
Speaker 1: And you know, I really I think that I am
8:32
Speaker 1: standing in the fullness of the understanding that none of us,
8:37
Speaker 1: none of us, really understand God, because how could we
8:42
Speaker 1: just like ourselves, just like our bodies, just like our
8:45
Speaker 1: earthly lives. Our faith is in a constant discovery process,
8:50
Speaker 1: and it's in an ongoing evolution, and how we actually
8:54
Speaker 1: experience and no God and communicate with God is always evolving.
9:00
Speaker 1: You know. To exist, to be here is to continually
9:05
Speaker 1: be in a state of confusion. Life is complicated. Faith
9:10
Speaker 1: is very complex, and we have to give our faith
9:15
Speaker 1: room to grow and to change, to redirect us because
9:19
Speaker 1: sometimes fall out of to sometimes fall into I think
9:23
Speaker 1: about God probably most moments of every day, and I
9:27
Speaker 1: have for a long time. And I didn't grow up,
9:29
Speaker 1: you know, as we say in black culture, I didn't
9:31
Speaker 1: grow up in the church necessarily, you know, but I
9:34
Speaker 1: always knew God, and I always had a strong faith.
9:38
Speaker 1: And in moments of some of my deepest, deepest, darkest
9:43
Speaker 1: pain um and some of the moments where I've really
9:47
Speaker 1: died to myself, God is the one that showed up
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Speaker 1: in every second and helped ushure me into a new
9:53
Speaker 1: version of who I was. And even though you know that,
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Speaker 1: you can still have moments where you feel confus used
10:00
Speaker 1: by Him and angry with him. And I don't think
10:03
Speaker 1: anything is wrong with that. And I would think that
10:06
Speaker 1: one of the biggest misconceptions that people have about their
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Speaker 1: faith and about what it is to be grateful about
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Speaker 1: your life is that you have to be exuberantly happy
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Speaker 1: in every moment, right that every second it has to
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Speaker 1: be God is good, all the time, all the time,
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Speaker 1: God is good. I don't think that's realistic. And I'll
10:25
Speaker 1: be quite honest with you, I think people that navigate
10:28
Speaker 1: in that space there is a lot of communication they
10:34
Speaker 1: may not be having with God. You know. To know
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Speaker 1: God is to surrender. To know God is to be
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Speaker 1: soothed by the complexities of Him and the vastness of Him,
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Speaker 1: and the fact that no matter what your belief system is,
10:50
Speaker 1: or who you are, or what you've been through, we
10:53
Speaker 1: will never know at all until our day comes. We
10:56
Speaker 1: never will you know. And surrendering to that unknown, especially
11:00
Speaker 1: if you surrender to that unknown and still stand in
11:03
Speaker 1: a space of gratitude and appreciation, is to me the
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Speaker 1: highest level of faith possible. I don't know anyone that
11:10
Speaker 1: hasn't been through something, and it's really important, especially in
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Speaker 1: our relationships with God, that we lean into some of
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Speaker 1: the difficulties, you know, we lean into some of the questioning.
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Speaker 1: I'm a big believer that we should question God. Why
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Speaker 1: shouldn't we? He expects us to That's why we're here,
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Speaker 1: That's how we grow and refine. When you when you're
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Speaker 1: on the path of being a seeker, which I very
11:34
Speaker 1: much consider myself to be, it is to be someone
11:37
Speaker 1: that looks for truth right and the only truth that
11:41
Speaker 1: I know for sure for me is that there is
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Speaker 1: a God, that there is a higher power, and everything else,
11:47
Speaker 1: to be quite honest, is up in the air. We
11:50
Speaker 1: can all come up with our theories, uh, we can
11:53
Speaker 1: all follow various belief systems, but you won't know for sure.
11:58
Speaker 1: We're just human beings. Our eyes, our minds. None of
12:03
Speaker 1: it can fully understand or behold the complexities of a
12:09
Speaker 1: being like God and what he creates and why he
12:12
Speaker 1: creates it, you know. Um, So I also think it's
12:15
Speaker 1: important to take that pressure off of ourselves completely. All right,
12:19
Speaker 1: let me backtrack, UM, because this is a check in episode.
12:22
Speaker 1: So I am a little bit off the cuff today.
12:27
Speaker 1: I just really wanted to talk to you all. So UM,
12:30
Speaker 1: I hooked at my microphone, so as I shared, let
12:32
Speaker 1: me set the scene. As I shared, I'm on vacation
12:35
Speaker 1: right now. One of my favorite places ever, Cabo Mexico.
12:39
Speaker 1: This is my go to several times a year because
12:41
Speaker 1: it's very close to l A. Yes, I do travel
12:44
Speaker 1: other places, um, and I have had the beautiful, beautiful
12:48
Speaker 1: opportunity to visit many different countries and see the world
12:53
Speaker 1: in many different ways. But this is my quick, beautiful
12:58
Speaker 1: destination where I like to just run here every chance
13:02
Speaker 1: I go. Um. But so I also want to preface
13:05
Speaker 1: that by saying, right now, I set up like this
13:07
Speaker 1: little podcast lab um on the nightstand of my bed,
13:12
Speaker 1: and you might hear quest run by at any moment
13:15
Speaker 1: and yell, because that's the thing right now, that he's
13:17
Speaker 1: doing is just looking at you and screaming. So if
13:23
Speaker 1: that happens, I'll try to edit it out, but just
13:25
Speaker 1: know what's coming. So let me let me get back
13:27
Speaker 1: to some of the some of the things that I've
13:29
Speaker 1: written down that I really want to make sure that
13:31
Speaker 1: I express. Maybe about a year and a half ago,
13:33
Speaker 1: I had the beautiful opportunity to be a part of
13:37
Speaker 1: this incredible panel about faith and spirituality, both New Age
13:42
Speaker 1: and traditional Black Church spirituality. UM. It was put on
13:46
Speaker 1: by the African American Smithsonian Museum in d C. Amazing
13:50
Speaker 1: guy named Teddy Reeves asked me to be a part
13:53
Speaker 1: of it, and he plays a huge part in the
13:55
Speaker 1: African American Smithsonian Museum. Sorry from a little tongue, ted UM.
14:00
Speaker 1: And they did this at the California African American Museum,
14:04
Speaker 1: which is in l A. And they had this discussion
14:07
Speaker 1: and it was a panel and I was on it.
14:09
Speaker 1: I guess I was kind of representing more of the
14:12
Speaker 1: New Age thought process UM. And there were also several
14:17
Speaker 1: pastors and just a lot of really incredible viewpoints UM,
14:22
Speaker 1: many of which I hadn't really taken time to see
14:25
Speaker 1: her here before. So I learned quite a bit. The
14:29
Speaker 1: content is online. I believe it's on my website if
14:31
Speaker 1: you want to see it was beautiful, beautiful talk. Um.
14:34
Speaker 1: But so when we did this, there was this really phenomenal,
14:38
Speaker 1: dynamic woman named Candice Biinbo and she's on Twitter. She
14:43
Speaker 1: has a podcast it's called Red Lip Theology. I really
14:46
Speaker 1: enjoy it. I really love the way that her mind
14:48
Speaker 1: works and the way that she expresses or expresses herself. Um.
14:53
Speaker 1: And you know, she considers herself to be a black
14:55
Speaker 1: feminist Christian and as you know, as if you are
15:00
Speaker 1: woman right now or a millennial in general, especially a
15:03
Speaker 1: person of color. Um. There are a lot of moments
15:08
Speaker 1: that are being unpacked for us that have never been
15:11
Speaker 1: unpacked before. We're having conversations we've never had. We're really
15:14
Speaker 1: challenging the institutions that we generationally we're always taught to
15:19
Speaker 1: believe in and to not question right, and we're demanding
15:22
Speaker 1: different things. We're holding people accountable, especially in the church.
15:26
Speaker 1: We are looking to really grow and change as a
15:31
Speaker 1: generation in a way that I don't think any generation
15:35
Speaker 1: ever has before. And that's part of the great thing
15:37
Speaker 1: about being alive right now in this moment, right it's
15:40
Speaker 1: I believe that we are in the age of Awakening,
15:42
Speaker 1: and I think that the world is moving at a
15:45
Speaker 1: very accelerated pace in a way that it never has
15:47
Speaker 1: in human history, and a lot is being demanded of us.
15:50
Speaker 1: And I think that is why we are having these
15:53
Speaker 1: really expansive conversations about everything from therapy to God, to
15:58
Speaker 1: the Me Too movement right to systemic racism and the
16:02
Speaker 1: role that it plays in our family, our family structures.
16:05
Speaker 1: You know, all of these things are happening in ways
16:08
Speaker 1: that they never quite have before, and we have access
16:12
Speaker 1: to share our stories and to use our voice in
16:14
Speaker 1: ways that has just it's unprecedented, It's never happened. And
16:18
Speaker 1: all of that is not for nothing, right, All of
16:20
Speaker 1: that is not just for our egos. All of that
16:22
Speaker 1: is because I believe God is demanding radical change from
16:27
Speaker 1: humanity right now, and these are the steps that He's
16:31
Speaker 1: outlined to get us there, you know. And I don't
16:33
Speaker 1: know if it's going to happen in my lifetime, but
16:35
Speaker 1: it is going to happen in the next couple of
16:37
Speaker 1: hundred years. So she back to Candice, have you going
16:41
Speaker 1: on tangents? I don't have no notes today. Um back
16:44
Speaker 1: to Candice, so she's beautiful, dynamic woman. She went viral
16:48
Speaker 1: earlier this year because she baked a pound cake for
16:51
Speaker 1: her neighbor and it was a really funny story. She's
16:53
Speaker 1: on Twitter and Instagram, but she had tweeted something right
16:56
Speaker 1: after Kobe died that I really loved, and she said,
17:00
Speaker 1: God is big enough for you to be angry at him.
17:03
Speaker 1: God is big enough for your sadness. God is big
17:06
Speaker 1: enough for your confusion. God is big enough for your questions,
17:10
Speaker 1: you know, um. And I thought that was really powerful
17:13
Speaker 1: because sometimes I think that religion and faith can be
17:19
Speaker 1: very toxic in the way that some people feed it
17:22
Speaker 1: to us, because they are demanding that you do this
17:26
Speaker 1: spiritual bypass where you completely sidestep your feelings, you sidestep
17:31
Speaker 1: any desire for accountability, you sidestep your own pain to
17:36
Speaker 1: just rejoice and worship. And that's not what God wants
17:39
Speaker 1: us to do. I don't believe because God grows inside
17:43
Speaker 1: of us when we question him. That's how we build
17:46
Speaker 1: our relationship with him. God grows inside of us when
17:49
Speaker 1: we are hurting, when we're in pain, when we're seeking answers.
17:54
Speaker 1: That's how He can speak the most clearly to us.
17:57
Speaker 1: So it is moments like this I believe that can
18:00
Speaker 1: ultimately help build your faith and not destroy it. Um.
18:05
Speaker 1: But so when she when she sent that tweet out,
18:07
Speaker 1: it really spoke to my heart. It really took some
18:11
Speaker 1: of the guilt away of being angry. You know, I
18:16
Speaker 1: felt really angry at God last year when Nipsey was killed.
18:20
Speaker 1: I felt really angry when I heard about the Kobe situation,
18:24
Speaker 1: and this go around, maybe not so much anger, but
18:26
Speaker 1: I felt really confused. And you know, instantly, me and
18:29
Speaker 1: a lot of my friends, I'm in a bunch of
18:30
Speaker 1: different group chats, we all start texting each other and
18:33
Speaker 1: we're just like, oh my god, oh my god, oh
18:34
Speaker 1: my god. What. And I remember when I heard the news,
18:37
Speaker 1: I literally all I could say for hours. I was speechless.
18:41
Speaker 1: All I could say was what, Like my brain could
18:44
Speaker 1: not comprehend it because what kind of came up for me?
18:47
Speaker 1: And actually Charlemagne and I had a long discussion about
18:50
Speaker 1: this right after everything happened. You know, the first thing
18:53
Speaker 1: that it does when you hear something like this with
18:55
Speaker 1: Kobe and Nipsey is it's set you know, for inside.
18:58
Speaker 1: It makes you say, well, what's the point of being
19:00
Speaker 1: a good person? What what is karma? You know, if
19:04
Speaker 1: you think about karma in the sense that we all
19:08
Speaker 1: kind of use it, or more so in the Veda sense,
19:11
Speaker 1: you know, it's this idea that you're good and good
19:14
Speaker 1: comes to you, right, and that is not really accurate.
19:20
Speaker 1: Karma simply means action and a cycle of action. Really,
19:25
Speaker 1: And you know it's hard because when you are in
19:27
Speaker 1: a peaceful and spiritual and God loving space, when you're
19:32
Speaker 1: not in pain, it's easy to say, yeah, everything happens
19:36
Speaker 1: for a reason, or this happened, but it led me
19:39
Speaker 1: to this or like I talked about at length in
19:42
Speaker 1: one of my i G TV videos on my Instagram,
19:45
Speaker 1: was finding the opportunity and every challenge and rejoicing even
19:50
Speaker 1: in your most painful moments. And all of those things
19:52
Speaker 1: are true. But sometimes in the moment, you have to
19:55
Speaker 1: take a beat, you have to take a step and
19:58
Speaker 1: allow yourself to feel right. Um. But even in thinking
20:01
Speaker 1: about this just really incomprehensible tragedy with Kobe, I also
20:07
Speaker 1: saw immediately so much beauty, especially for men of color,
20:14
Speaker 1: and there was this just deeply inspiring space holding that
20:19
Speaker 1: started to happen. Right. You're seeing men that may have
20:22
Speaker 1: never cried bauling their eyes out. You know, you see
20:26
Speaker 1: men who may have never done this before, setting up
20:29
Speaker 1: their first therapy appointment, right finally beginning to dive in
20:33
Speaker 1: and unwrap some of their complex emotions and perhaps laid
20:38
Speaker 1: down some of their toxic masculinity, open their hearts, allow
20:43
Speaker 1: themselves to feel. And once you learn how to do that,
20:46
Speaker 1: you never forget it. So imagine all of these men,
20:49
Speaker 1: probably millions of men around the country that we're breaking
20:53
Speaker 1: down because their hero and his daughter were so tragically killed.
20:59
Speaker 1: Now they know how to access those spaces in themselves,
21:02
Speaker 1: you know. And I it's too soon to really talk
21:05
Speaker 1: about it in this way, and I am in no
21:07
Speaker 1: way trying to be insensitive to the enormous amount of
21:11
Speaker 1: pain so many of us are in and seeing this happen.
21:15
Speaker 1: But it's kind of like, what a gift. Also, what
21:17
Speaker 1: a gift that Kobe's life has been, not just because
21:22
Speaker 1: of the way that he was such a great human
21:26
Speaker 1: um often on the court, but and not because just
21:30
Speaker 1: of his level of discipline, you know, and commitment to excellence,
21:35
Speaker 1: but what an enormous gift that he shared himself with
21:39
Speaker 1: the world in such a huge way that his passing
21:43
Speaker 1: could be the catalyst for an expansion emotionally of so
21:48
Speaker 1: many men around the world, you know. And I'm sure
21:51
Speaker 1: as time goes on, you know, we're only a week
21:53
Speaker 1: it ha from moved. I'm sure as time goes on,
21:55
Speaker 1: Will Considue can continue to see even more gifts of
21:58
Speaker 1: his legacy. But instantly, that's something that I noticed, and
22:02
Speaker 1: that's something that brought me a certain amount of peace.
22:05
Speaker 1: You know. Um, I felt really proud of a lot
22:08
Speaker 1: of the men that were expressing themselves and a lot
22:11
Speaker 1: of the men that were allowing themselves to be seen.
22:13
Speaker 1: So many guys and you know, I know it can't
22:16
Speaker 1: just be me, but so many guys that I know,
22:18
Speaker 1: and I'm sure so many of the men, many of
22:20
Speaker 1: you know, they bypassed their emotions, and you know, something
22:23
Speaker 1: happens with oh, I'm I'll be straight, I'm straight. No,
22:26
Speaker 1: my not no, and I's all good, you know, and
22:28
Speaker 1: they want to hurry up out of that moment and
22:30
Speaker 1: never process and never feel, and that keeps them from
22:33
Speaker 1: being able to have real intimacy emotionally or emotional intelligence
22:37
Speaker 1: and all the facets of their life. Because if you
22:39
Speaker 1: don't let yourself feel, and if you don't find a
22:42
Speaker 1: way to be gentle with you and love yourself anyway?
22:45
Speaker 1: How can you actually show up in the lives of
22:48
Speaker 1: the people close to you in a meaningful way, you know.
22:51
Speaker 1: So to see so many men just be out of
22:55
Speaker 1: sheer enormity of the grief, be forced into spiritual submission
23:00
Speaker 1: and be forced to surrender and fall on their knees
23:03
Speaker 1: and just let themselves hurt and let themselves fall apart
23:07
Speaker 1: and have conversations. Um, it was deeply inspiring. And I
23:12
Speaker 1: think that part of Kobe's legacy will be his passing
23:16
Speaker 1: really aided in some emotional generational freedom for a lot
23:20
Speaker 1: of people and a lot of families. At least, that
23:23
Speaker 1: is my hope, you know. I think I shared this
23:26
Speaker 1: story a few episodes back. I think I talked about
23:29
Speaker 1: this on the episode with Taras Martin. But something that
23:32
Speaker 1: was really ringing in my mind quite a bit lately
23:35
Speaker 1: has been this conversation that I had with one of
23:38
Speaker 1: my professors in this psychology program that I'm in. I
23:42
Speaker 1: am back in school. I'm in my second year now
23:45
Speaker 1: of this three year program. In this program where we
23:47
Speaker 1: really explore like non violent communication and spirituality and psychology,
23:52
Speaker 1: I had got up to share about this breakthrough that
23:54
Speaker 1: I had had, and I share this probably on a
23:57
Speaker 1: couple of episodes, But the breakthrough that I had about
23:59
Speaker 1: how I had really been seeing that a lot of
24:02
Speaker 1: the pride I took it myself and a lot of
24:05
Speaker 1: my self worth was really rooted in what had been
24:09
Speaker 1: a coping mechanism. I found a lot of pride in
24:15
Speaker 1: how strong I was and how resilient I was, but
24:18
Speaker 1: it was really me just creating this false narrative that
24:22
Speaker 1: my worth was based on how much pain I could
24:24
Speaker 1: tolerate right now, that was huge for me. That was
24:27
Speaker 1: huge for me to realize that about myself so that
24:30
Speaker 1: I could really free myself of that. But when I
24:32
Speaker 1: had stood up to share this with the professor in class,
24:35
Speaker 1: I was talking about that breakthrough and then I just
24:38
Speaker 1: kind of broke down crying, and it turned into two
24:40
Speaker 1: things for me. First, I was crying for Nipsey, and
24:44
Speaker 1: I was saying that I felt really confused because to
24:47
Speaker 1: see someone stand so deeply in the fullness of their
24:51
Speaker 1: purpose and die at such a young age and in
24:54
Speaker 1: such a cruel way, it made me feel, in that moment,
24:58
Speaker 1: very irrationally, lie if I live my purpose, then I
25:02
Speaker 1: might die young, because in my mind I had kind
25:05
Speaker 1: of created this narrative around my grief that you know,
25:08
Speaker 1: God takes you once, once you've completed your work on Earth,
25:11
Speaker 1: and even though to the human mind it may not
25:14
Speaker 1: seem like your work is complete. You know, we would
25:16
Speaker 1: have loved to see Nipsey and Kobe be our elders,
25:19
Speaker 1: you know, be like the Ozzie Davis is of our generation,
25:22
Speaker 1: fighting the good fight, being excellent and great and being
25:26
Speaker 1: you know, these phenomenal role models. Um, God knows when
25:29
Speaker 1: the work is done, and their soul knows when the
25:31
Speaker 1: work is done. Right. So I started crying because I
25:34
Speaker 1: was saying, if I really stand in my purpose, if
25:37
Speaker 1: I really give myself in the way that I believe
25:39
Speaker 1: I'm called to, I might finish, you know, all the
25:42
Speaker 1: lessons I needed to learn, or I might wrap up
25:44
Speaker 1: my karma, and then I'll die. And I don't want
25:47
Speaker 1: to die yet. I'm not ready. I want to raise
25:51
Speaker 1: my son. And then that turned into me breaking down
25:53
Speaker 1: crying about how much I love my son and how
25:57
Speaker 1: much that love has actually terrified me of moments, um,
26:01
Speaker 1: because I love him more than I love my own life,
26:04
Speaker 1: you know, um, the love I feel for him is
26:06
Speaker 1: not really definable. It fills me, it fuels me. And
26:10
Speaker 1: so then this fear developed that I want to live
26:13
Speaker 1: for no other reason, forever, for as long as I can,
26:17
Speaker 1: so that I can love him. So I say all
26:19
Speaker 1: that to say I had stood up and I shared
26:22
Speaker 1: those things, and I was I kind of looked a
26:23
Speaker 1: little ridiculous. I mean, I was just ugly crying at
26:26
Speaker 1: that point, just bawling in front of this room of
26:29
Speaker 1: like a hundred and fifty people. And I remember the
26:31
Speaker 1: professor said to me, you know, he said, when you
26:34
Speaker 1: reach a certain point in your spiritual development and in
26:37
Speaker 1: your growth, there is nothing left but for you to
26:41
Speaker 1: feel a constant, on bearable compassion for the world. And
26:47
Speaker 1: those two words together, unbearable compassion. I had to really
26:51
Speaker 1: sit in that. It was such a experience to hear
26:55
Speaker 1: the wording of that, and that is how I feel.
26:57
Speaker 1: And I think when you're an impact, that's really how
26:59
Speaker 1: you field to. You know, the compassion that you have
27:02
Speaker 1: for people, it almost feels like it's going to kill you,
27:04
Speaker 1: to be quite honest, it feels unbearable how much love
27:07
Speaker 1: you have for others and how much love you have
27:09
Speaker 1: for the world. But him saying that also let me
27:11
Speaker 1: kind of feel like, all right, I'm on the right track.
27:15
Speaker 1: I'm at least showing up. I believe as who God
27:18
Speaker 1: wants me to be in this moment, you know. And
27:21
Speaker 1: I think another thing that I've really been working through
27:23
Speaker 1: in my mind when it comes to my thoughts on
27:26
Speaker 1: God are I've always found religion to be restrictive. I've
27:31
Speaker 1: always found a lot of the ways in which religion
27:35
Speaker 1: is showcased or used in a mainstream way to be
27:39
Speaker 1: one that does not really share tangible tools of growth
27:45
Speaker 1: and healing. It's kind of one that's like, keeps showing
27:48
Speaker 1: up and we'll fill you up. That didn't want you
27:51
Speaker 1: to know that God can speak to you directly to
27:54
Speaker 1: you know, God doesn't have to have a middleman. He'll
27:57
Speaker 1: talk directly to you too. But you have to be open,
28:00
Speaker 1: and you have to do the work, you know, and
28:03
Speaker 1: you have to want to heal and grow and change
28:06
Speaker 1: and be christ Like and and serve. Um. So when
28:10
Speaker 1: I was thinking about when I was doing a lot
28:12
Speaker 1: of my thinking about God, um, I actually expanded on
28:15
Speaker 1: that thought of what kind of what role I think
28:19
Speaker 1: religion can be in a limiting way, and it really
28:22
Speaker 1: boils down to this, I don't think that the Bible
28:26
Speaker 1: is big enough to truly capture the fullness of who
28:30
Speaker 1: God is. So I want to say that in a
28:32
Speaker 1: way that I am in no way really like criticizing
28:35
Speaker 1: the Bible or saying that you shouldn't read it. I
28:37
Speaker 1: think the Bible is a tremendous, tremendously valuable and impactful tool.
28:43
Speaker 1: But I think because the Bible was written by man,
28:46
Speaker 1: and written by so many men over centuries um and
28:51
Speaker 1: very often times for their own political gain, and also
28:54
Speaker 1: in a way that does marginalize women some, I don't
28:57
Speaker 1: think that it could ever be big enough to after
29:00
Speaker 1: the fullness of who God is. God is bigger than
29:03
Speaker 1: your religion. God is bigger than the Bible. God is
29:06
Speaker 1: bigger than any ancient script. God is God, and so
29:10
Speaker 1: I believe that it's imperative that we are constantly exploring
29:14
Speaker 1: our relationship to Him and constantly exploring the way He
29:18
Speaker 1: moves in the world and the world that he created,
29:20
Speaker 1: and we're constantly seeking to translate different understandings and different
29:25
Speaker 1: roads to the truth. You know, I think that too
29:27
Speaker 1: often we project quite a bit onto God the way
29:31
Speaker 1: we view ourselves and the way that we experience the world,
29:35
Speaker 1: and that's not God. I think that's why too. You know,
29:37
Speaker 1: the different versions of the Bible, or if you ask
29:40
Speaker 1: people to all say something different about who God is
29:43
Speaker 1: or what he stands for, because it's based on what
29:45
Speaker 1: their life experience has been. Our parents were our first God.
29:48
Speaker 1: That was our first entry point to God. So depending
29:51
Speaker 1: on your relationship with your parents or what your childhood
29:54
Speaker 1: looked and felt like, how you view God's role in
29:57
Speaker 1: your life will be different. And I think that's worthy
29:59
Speaker 1: of exploration for all of us, no matter what your
30:02
Speaker 1: upbringing was. I don't think of God as being a man,
30:05
Speaker 1: or being a woman, or having a sex. I don't
30:08
Speaker 1: think of God is having traits of man. You know,
30:12
Speaker 1: when when they say in scripture that we are created
30:15
Speaker 1: in his image, that image is very specifically love. Being
30:21
Speaker 1: created in his image is not physical. Being created in
30:24
Speaker 1: his image means we are the living energy of love.
30:29
Speaker 1: We are the frequency of love. That's his image. And
30:33
Speaker 1: I know you know I've said this quite a bit. Um,
30:35
Speaker 1: I broke this down I think in one of my videos. Um,
30:40
Speaker 1: I love this book called Conversations with God and you know,
30:44
Speaker 1: as as with anything that you read um or any
30:47
Speaker 1: of the tools that you use for your personal growth,
30:49
Speaker 1: you take what resonates and you leave what doesn't, and
30:52
Speaker 1: you revisit, and the definitions evolved. But this book is
30:56
Speaker 1: really interesting, it's really fascinating, and I'll never forget. One
31:00
Speaker 1: of the pages towards the beginning of the book, the
31:02
Speaker 1: man who wrote the book is asking God, um, you know,
31:05
Speaker 1: why why are we here? What is the point? Why
31:09
Speaker 1: did you make man? And in the book God responds
31:12
Speaker 1: to him and he said, because I longed to experience myself.
31:17
Speaker 1: If you're just God up there in the universe, there's
31:20
Speaker 1: no time and there's no context, so there's nothing for
31:24
Speaker 1: anything to be compared to good or bad. So if
31:27
Speaker 1: he creates man, and he sends all these chunks of
31:31
Speaker 1: himself onto earth and throws them into these bags of bones,
31:35
Speaker 1: these these shells, he has the opportunity to experience himself
31:40
Speaker 1: and to understand opposites of things, understanding motion, have expansive
31:46
Speaker 1: expression that helped me feel closer to my faith, you know,
31:49
Speaker 1: the idea that we are really just these chunks and
31:52
Speaker 1: bits of pieces of pure energetic love trying to experience
31:57
Speaker 1: ourselves and to have any experience, and you have to
32:00
Speaker 1: have something to compare it to, you know, and that
32:04
Speaker 1: is the flow of life. That is why we have challenges.
32:07
Speaker 1: That is why there are these you know, perceived ups
32:10
Speaker 1: and downs and perceived rights and wrongs, because if we
32:13
Speaker 1: didn't have them, what would our experience actually be shaped
32:17
Speaker 1: by and what would be the point? Those are my
32:19
Speaker 1: thoughts on that. We'll get back to our regularly scheduled
32:23
Speaker 1: program in the next couple of weeks. I have a
32:25
Speaker 1: really awesome interview lined up, lots of thoughts to share,
32:28
Speaker 1: but I wanted to pop up before I officially came
32:31
Speaker 1: back with this episode because I just needed to get
32:33
Speaker 1: some of these thoughts out. These are the conversations that
32:36
Speaker 1: I have with myself in my own head. So it
32:41
Speaker 1: was a little all over the place. Well, now you
32:43
Speaker 1: know a little bit more about your girl, I wanted
32:46
Speaker 1: to share two with you. I want to talk about grief,
32:48
Speaker 1: just for these last couple of minutes before we close
32:51
Speaker 1: out this episode. So I have a post on my Instagram.
32:53
Speaker 1: It is probably somewhere in the last ten posts the
32:56
Speaker 1: images of me with a stick of Polo Santo and
32:59
Speaker 1: I'm aging excuse me smudging and in that post in
33:03
Speaker 1: the caption I give a lot of tips for navigating grief.
33:06
Speaker 1: I want to share that for me personally, what I
33:10
Speaker 1: have figured out for myself, specifically with the passing of
33:13
Speaker 1: my friend who I mentioned at the beginning of this episode,
33:16
Speaker 1: who was murdered when I was eighteen. He was one
33:19
Speaker 1: of my best friends, one of the most phenomenal people
33:22
Speaker 1: in the world, just such a huge, open heart, amazing
33:27
Speaker 1: sense of humor, one of the most supportive friends I've
33:30
Speaker 1: ever had in my life, and it's never quite been duplicated.
33:33
Speaker 1: He was so truly, deeply, deeply special to my heart.
33:38
Speaker 1: Something I realized when I was thinking a lot about
33:40
Speaker 1: Kobe and Nipsey this week was the fact that the
33:43
Speaker 1: grief never leaves you know, and I know anyone listening
33:47
Speaker 1: to the show that has lost someone that meant a
33:50
Speaker 1: lot to them, you have come to find, especially if
33:53
Speaker 1: you do continue to try to grow through it, that
33:56
Speaker 1: grief never leaves you, but it does transform, transforms you,
34:01
Speaker 1: and it itself also transforms into different feelings. You know.
34:05
Speaker 1: When I was feeling like really defeated with Kobe's passing,
34:09
Speaker 1: and as I shared um in other episodes, when Nipsey passed,
34:12
Speaker 1: I felt really depressed for quite a while, and I
34:16
Speaker 1: realized that it doesn't necessarily change, but you can change
34:20
Speaker 1: your perception of what it feels like, and you can
34:23
Speaker 1: change the way you use those feelings, because the fact
34:27
Speaker 1: of the matter is, my friend Dwayne passed. Perhaps um,
34:31
Speaker 1: I think it was seventeen years ago now, and there
34:34
Speaker 1: is not a day of my life that has gone
34:37
Speaker 1: by that I haven't thought about him. And he is
34:39
Speaker 1: buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, which if you're in l A,
34:42
Speaker 1: you know that that is right off the one thirty
34:43
Speaker 1: four freeway. And there is not one time that I've
34:46
Speaker 1: driven past that freeway that I have not cried. And
34:49
Speaker 1: sometimes I'm on that freeway several days a week, and
34:51
Speaker 1: what I do is I just take a moment to
34:53
Speaker 1: feel it because I miss him and miss him and
34:56
Speaker 1: I wanted to know who he'd be. I was eighteen,
34:59
Speaker 1: he was twenty, and his life was taken and there
35:02
Speaker 1: was never justice for his life being taken. And it's
35:07
Speaker 1: okay that it still hurts, and it's okay to also
35:10
Speaker 1: think that he is in a better place. And I
35:12
Speaker 1: do very very much experience him in my life. On
35:15
Speaker 1: a daily basis looking out for me as one of
35:17
Speaker 1: my angels and one of my guides. But it's okay
35:20
Speaker 1: to still hurt, and so I do cry a couple
35:22
Speaker 1: of times a week about him. You know, Sometimes I
35:24
Speaker 1: cry maybe just sixty seconds, my eyes will water up
35:27
Speaker 1: and I'll be able to move forward. And sometimes I
35:29
Speaker 1: might cry for fifteen minutes, thirty minutes. You know, I
35:32
Speaker 1: always think of him, and that doesn't change. But the
35:35
Speaker 1: way that you hold onto the hurt changes, you know.
35:38
Speaker 1: I think when you get to a point in your
35:40
Speaker 1: growth and in your grief, you can feel the feelings,
35:43
Speaker 1: but let them pass through you. Like you're kind of
35:45
Speaker 1: like your heart is an open window. Things can freely
35:49
Speaker 1: come in and go out, but you still got to
35:50
Speaker 1: let him pass. I wanted to share in closing um.
35:53
Speaker 1: It just came across this book, and I think some
35:55
Speaker 1: of you guys might really like it. Me and my
35:58
Speaker 1: partner and amazing friend and Nicole Garcia, we're looking for
36:02
Speaker 1: office space. We're thinking about expanding. I'm considering getting a
36:05
Speaker 1: Karma Blist storefront um and doing some wall less work
36:09
Speaker 1: out of it, and also an office space for us
36:11
Speaker 1: to create. And so I have this vision for getting
36:14
Speaker 1: this off in space and the Topanga Canyons, which is
36:16
Speaker 1: like these this little like mountainous terrain that is in
36:19
Speaker 1: between Malibu and the valley like Woodland Hills and Malibu
36:24
Speaker 1: if you're familiar, and it's it's really this very interesting, eclectic,
36:28
Speaker 1: hippie space, uh where it seems like you're in another
36:31
Speaker 1: country or at least the middle of the US. Like
36:34
Speaker 1: it's just it's a special kind of bizarre little area,
36:37
Speaker 1: but I love it. So there's a lot of like
36:39
Speaker 1: spiritual stores in that area, and we happened to like
36:42
Speaker 1: pull over. We were checking out a building and we
36:44
Speaker 1: wandered into this tiny, tiny store. The store was like
36:47
Speaker 1: as big as my bathroom was so small, and they
36:50
Speaker 1: had this stack of books. And there's this author. Her
36:53
Speaker 1: name is Pixie Lighthorse. She's on Instagram Pixie Lighthorse, and
36:58
Speaker 1: she has books of prayers about all different kind of things.
37:02
Speaker 1: And this is actually um I found this maybe a
37:05
Speaker 1: week before Kobe passed, and I don't know what made
37:07
Speaker 1: me pick it up, but I did. This book in
37:10
Speaker 1: particular is called Prayers of Honoring Grief, and the second
37:14
Speaker 1: I opened it, I about fell over. Um so I
37:17
Speaker 1: wanted to share with you two of her prayers, and
37:20
Speaker 1: I really want to encourage you guys to check out
37:23
Speaker 1: not just this book, Prayers of Honoring Grief by Pixie Lighthorse,
37:27
Speaker 1: Let's also see um some of the other incredible books
37:30
Speaker 1: of really powerful mantra based prayers, affirmation based prayers that
37:36
Speaker 1: she creates in her heart and mind and she writes
37:39
Speaker 1: out and shares. So I would really love um if
37:42
Speaker 1: you take a second to honor her work check her
37:44
Speaker 1: out on Instagram. I do not know her, this is
37:46
Speaker 1: not necessarily a personal co sign um, but the limited
37:50
Speaker 1: knowledge I have of her through her books, I think
37:52
Speaker 1: that she is a phenomenal pillar of light. So this
37:56
Speaker 1: prayer that she has in her book, it's in Prayers
37:59
Speaker 1: of Honoring Grief, page nine. It's called Honoring Confusion, and
38:02
Speaker 1: I would love to read it for you. Thank you
38:05
Speaker 1: for this day of circling the drain. I don't understand
38:08
Speaker 1: what has been presented to me. Release my fixation on
38:12
Speaker 1: finding the gift in it. Tenderize my refusal of what
38:15
Speaker 1: is in front of me. Tune me into my legs
38:18
Speaker 1: when my heels dig in, so that I noticed the
38:21
Speaker 1: domineering pressure of my resistance. Help me admit what I
38:25
Speaker 1: am likely to deny. Remind me that denial is a
38:28
Speaker 1: critical part of the healing process when I fight what
38:32
Speaker 1: I'm being shown. Let me honor that it is natural
38:35
Speaker 1: to spin in the beginning when nothing makes sense. Dissolve
38:39
Speaker 1: the haze of fury and help me be patient as
38:42
Speaker 1: a puzzle comes together over time. Show me the events
38:46
Speaker 1: and feelings that have led me into this unwanted cyclone.
38:50
Speaker 1: Show me my part. Show me where I am blaming.
38:53
Speaker 1: Release the shame that I didn't or couldn't make a
38:56
Speaker 1: choice that would have made a difference. Let me gently
38:59
Speaker 1: await clear which is sure to come. Still my mind
39:02
Speaker 1: and calm my overprotective heart. Pause my spinning gears when
39:07
Speaker 1: trying to reverse what I cannot change. Let me slowly
39:10
Speaker 1: ponder the riddle and let the solving come later. Place
39:14
Speaker 1: my hands in my lap, sent me down when I spiral,
39:18
Speaker 1: and help me care for myself. Show me your guiding light.
39:22
Speaker 1: Help me create the space I need to take the
39:24
Speaker 1: next step, knowing I can break down the logistics later.
39:28
Speaker 1: For now, just let me inhale and exhale my way
39:32
Speaker 1: through each moment. Teach me to keep breathing through the
39:35
Speaker 1: shock of disbelief. Receive my fists when they take to
39:39
Speaker 1: the air. Let me struggle and strain until I go
39:42
Speaker 1: limp with surrender while waiting for a fresher awakening. Let
39:46
Speaker 1: me comprehend the lengths I am willing to go. That
39:50
Speaker 1: one was called Prayer of honoring Confusion, and as I'm
39:55
Speaker 1: sure you heard, that could be applied to so many
39:57
Speaker 1: things that have nothing to do with physical death, um,
40:01
Speaker 1: but maybe have everything to do with new chapters and
40:04
Speaker 1: disappointments and personal deaths, spiritual deaths. This last one that
40:09
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read for you, guys, thank you so much
40:12
Speaker 1: for hanging on through this, because I think that these
40:14
Speaker 1: words can really bless you. This last piece that I'm
40:17
Speaker 1: reading for you is called honoring Loss of a loved One.
40:21
Speaker 1: So this poem specifically, I think is really helpful for
40:25
Speaker 1: anybody navigating grief over the death of a law of
40:29
Speaker 1: a loved one, and perhaps even grief over the death
40:33
Speaker 1: of Kobe, if that is what you're experiencing right now
40:36
Speaker 1: like many of us. So again, the author's name is
40:39
Speaker 1: Pixie Lighthorse. She is on Instagram. This is her book,
40:43
Speaker 1: Prayers of Honoring grief. This last prayer is called honoring
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Speaker 1: loss of a loved one. Thank you for this day
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Speaker 1: of profound mourning. Shroud me in the gloomy garments of brievement,
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Speaker 1: trape me in a grain shawl of longing for the
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Speaker 1: one who no longer or resides in this world. Make
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Speaker 1: my spirit aware of the transmissions that take place when
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Speaker 1: an earth body becomes light. Help me to honor my
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Speaker 1: person and what they meant to me. Let me look
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Speaker 1: as shabby as I feel, releasing concerns of what others
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Speaker 1: may think of me. Help me embody the darkness I
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Speaker 1: feel over what has been lost. Show me how to
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Speaker 1: make a ceremony for this occasion. Help me be present
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Speaker 1: for these feelings in a way that is healing for me.
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Speaker 1: Remind me that it is natural for one big blow
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Speaker 1: to unleash the hoarded sufferings of my past. Point me
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Speaker 1: to demonstrations of how my people grieved their beloves for
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Speaker 1: centuries before. Now. Show me what I can do for
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Speaker 1: my familiars. March me to the mounded graves. Let me
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Speaker 1: make the sacred sounds of this great misery I carry
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Speaker 1: blood curdling and guttural. Help me release my fears about
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Speaker 1: future losses. But let me cling to loving life while
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Speaker 1: I am living it. Find me uncrippled by mistrust most
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Speaker 1: of nature's divine processes of reclaiming, but designate ample space
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Speaker 1: to churn with agitation. When I've lost one I love,
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Speaker 1: and I'm on my knees. Let me place my agonies
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Speaker 1: at your altar in the woods. Send in the winds
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Speaker 1: to flurry my distress towards the source. Let me hold
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Speaker 1: precious the memory of those who have crossed over by
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Speaker 1: letting them be part of me. Ferry my house across
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Speaker 1: the seas to connect with all those who are aching
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Speaker 1: with loss. Here are sorrowful voices mingling in one powerful
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Speaker 1: wailing song. Let the stars absorb my lamentations. Tonight, God,
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Speaker 1: I thought that was so beautiful. I hope that that
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Speaker 1: um blessed anybody listening, anyone that needed to hear either
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Speaker 1: of those things. Pixie Lighthorses, author Prayers of Honor and
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Speaker 1: Grief is the book. Thank you guys for listening. If
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Speaker 1: you get a chance, please take a second from your
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Speaker 1: day to go into the iTunes podcasts and give me
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Speaker 1: a rating five stars, Please five stars. Leave a couple
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Speaker 1: of lines um it means a lot to me, and
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Speaker 1: I appreciate all the hundreds of the ones that people
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Speaker 1: have done thus far. I do not take lightly that
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Speaker 1: you're allowing me into your head to spend some time
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Speaker 1: with you for the precious moments that you have in
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Speaker 1: your day. I appreciate you. I'm grateful. All right, guys,
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Speaker 1: I love you. Thank you, stay open, piece big. Thank
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Speaker 1: you for listening to this episode of The Dropping Gym's podcast.
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Speaker 1: This show is executive produced by Adrian Scott and me
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Speaker 1: Debbie Brown. Our theme music was created by producer Day
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Speaker 1: One and the poem that you heard at the beginning
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Speaker 1: of the show, well that was created especially for us
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Speaker 1: by award winning poet and I'm the oca for If
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Speaker 1: you have a quick moment right now, please hit subscribe
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Speaker 1: on the show, and if you like what you heard,
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Speaker 1: take it a step further and give us a five
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Speaker 1: star rating. Soil next time you connect with me on
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Speaker 1: I g at Debbie Brown or my website Debbie Brown
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Speaker 1: dot com, be blessed.