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How do narcissists feel when YOU BREAK NO CONTACT WITH THEM? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about how do narcissists feel
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  when you break no contact with them?
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  When you allow them access to your life?
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  Again, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  So, boom, Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back, folks. Thank you so much for being here
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  with me. Yes, So how does it go?
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  Y'all we we do a lot of videos about no contact and how
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  narcissists feel when you go no contact.
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  How going no contact and cutting off access to them completely is
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  one of the fastest ways and most one of the most efficient ways
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  to helping you. Here we talk about that a lot,
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  right? But what we don't talk about or
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  you see videos about a lot is how do narcissists feel when you
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  go no contact with them and then they finally breakthrough to you
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  or or or you reach out to them, you willingly break no contact.
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  How do they feel? There's a three letter word that
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  I can there's there's a three letter word that I can use in
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  this circumstance right here. Y'all narcissists feel, feel
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  like they have won or they feel like they they they win, you
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  know? And that's what I tell people.
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  No contact is so important. No contact is taking your power
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  back. No contact is cutting off access
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  to them and putting it like putting all the power in your
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  hands, right? So when you break, no contact
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  with them, when you reach out to them, no matter how long it's
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  been, y'all. If it's been a day, a week, a
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  month, a year, when you break no contact with them, they feel
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  like they've won. They feel like they have won.
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  It it it's it's like, in all honesty, it feels like because
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  you reach out to me, maybe I've been reaching out to you, maybe
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  I haven't been reached out to you, but like when you reach out
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  to me, I feel like now you just okayed my behaviors.
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  Whatever reason you gave for going, no contact with me, if
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  you gave me a reason, sometimes people go, no, sometimes people
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  can go no contact with the narcissist and not give them a
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  reason. Like you don't have to give them
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  a reason. Like it's up to you whether or
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  not you decide to, you know, give them closure or whatever.
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  You don't have to necessarily give them a reason, right?
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  But a lot if whatever reason that you did give them, if you
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  did, if you chose to do so, it kind of goes out the window
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  right here. You know, it kind of it flies
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  out of the window. Because if it was that bad and
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  those reasons were so true, why in the hell are you reaching out
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  to me? That's the mindset.
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  Why are you reaching out to me? Why are you contacting me?
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  Why are you being so direct with me right now?
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  If the relationship was so bad and you were struggling so much,
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  if I treated you so badly, why are you talking to me right now?
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  Like what? What's the idea?
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  Right. What's the idea behind it right
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  now? If you're like I say if it was
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  that bad, so when you, if you break no contact with them,
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  that's how it goes, they're going to hammer away at you,
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  right? They're going to put, they're
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  going to put you down. They're going to try to hurt
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  your feelings the the best way that they possibly can.
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  Like they feel like they won it. It's it's vindication.
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  It's relief. And if you like, I say, and not
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  only is it vindication or relief if you reach out to them and now
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  they have a screenshot proof and you told like let's say you've
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  exposed them, right? Let's say you, you've exposed
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  the narcissist for what they've done to you, right?
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  Let's say you've exposed them. Let's say you've put them on
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  blast everywhere right now. If you reach out to them, if you
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  just say hey or I miss you or whatever you say to them or if
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  you break no contact, they can screenshot that screen recorded
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  or whatever. And guess what?
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  Now they can start a smear campaign on you.
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  Now they can go to other people. You see, I told you she said I
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  was crazy. But now she's messaging me,
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  talking about she misses me. So how crazy am I?
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  She exposed me and her exposure of me was all lies.
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  Everything that she said about me was all lies.
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  So if you reach out to them, not only do they feel like they've
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  won, now they feel like they have evidence of whatever, like
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  they have evidence and proof of whatever.
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  That you said that they've done the opposite.
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  It makes the opposite true. So now they can start a smear
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  campaign on you if they so choose to do so.
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  So that's why telling you if you break no contact with them, it's
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  a it ends up being a loss for you.
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  It really, really does. So these are things for you to
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  consider, like before you break no contact with them.
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  I know, like I said, some people like there's reasons that some
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  people break no contact, right? Like there's no other way around
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  it sometimes, like there's some legal stuff, there's kids
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  involved, whatever. You know what I mean?
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  This is, this video is not mainly directed towards you
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  because sometimes you can't. You can't go no contact,
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  sometimes you can't, right? But like if it's anything like,
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  say, if you go in low, low contact and you message them
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  anything else other than about the kids, they feel like they
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  won too. So it's not just breaking no
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  contact, it's breaking low contact.
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  If you're only messaging them and responding to things about
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  the kids and now you're telling them that you missed them or you
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  missed what y'all had or how are you doing, how things been hope.
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  Life is like, yeah, they feel like they won.
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  And this is not me trying to chastise you y'all know, y'all
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  know. That's not what my channel is
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  about right here. Y'all understand that, right?
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  This is not me about me trying to chastise you or you know,
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  this is me trying to wake you up.
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  This just let you know what goes on inside the mind of a
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  narcissist when you break no contact with them.
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  It's like a Victoria, like yo, they can damn near do a victory
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  parade. They can like, you know, they
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  can be dancing around the town because now like I told y'all,
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  vindication, freedom, like you said, like you set them free
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  sometimes in this space in these relationship dynamics.
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  So that's what I'm just telling y'all, If you're dealing with a
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  narcissist, right, and you decided to go no contact and you
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  break no contact, this is how they feel.
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  I'm making this video to just keep.
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  If you're thinking about breaking No contact, I'm making
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  this video for you to just let you know.
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  Let you know that they're going to feel like a victory if you
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  reach out to them. No, they haven't changed.
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  No, their life hasn't gotten better.
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  No, they're not treated in new supply like they're sooner or
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  later. If they have a new supply,
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  sooner or later the relationship is going to go sour.
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  It just is. That's just the way narcissists
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  work out. It may look, it may look good on
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  the outside, but it doesn't look good on the inside, Right?
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  And This is why I'm telling you, the more you break no contact,
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  the better that they feel. The more justified that they
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  feel like their actions were. The more like if they were
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  blaming you for whatever was going on in the relationship,
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  the more that makes sense to them.
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  I told you it was your fault. So if it wasn't your fault, why
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  are you reaching out to me? Like I know.
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  Like I said, and This is why I tell people, watch this video
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  before you. I hope you watch this video all
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  the way through before you decide to break no contact.
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  If you get, if you getting the itch to reach out to him like
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  you start itching like I got to reach out to my ex.
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  I miss my toxic ex. I miss him.
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  I miss him so much. Like if you start feeling that
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  way, if you start feeling that way, if things are going on in
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  this situation, if you start like feeling like you want to
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  break no contact, watch this and think about how they are going
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  to feel, because you're going to feel bad on the opposite end.
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  You're going to feel horrible for breaking no contact, and
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  you're going to feel even worse because you think you're going
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  to think that they win. You know you are winning you
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  with no contact. No contact is a victory.
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  I don't. Look, you know, no contact is a
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  victory for you. Even if they left you, even if
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  they left you, they they left you with no answers.
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  They left you with more questions than answers.
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  They left you. They didn't left you Willy
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  nilly. Then guess what?
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  Like you going no contact, there's still a victory for you.
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  Because they don't like a lot of narcissists.
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  They don't think you have the ability to leave them alone.
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  Let's be real, they don't think that you have the ability to
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  leave them alone. So a lot of narcissists do this
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  type of stuff right here. Y'all, and that's being
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  realistic. That's all they're telling you.
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  Narcissistic people will continuously do the same thing
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  and get it, try to get away with it.
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  And like a lot of times, if you break no contact, that's going
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  to lead to you getting your feelings hurt because like, if
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  you're breaking no contact, they're going to think you want
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  them back. First of all, why you breaking
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  no contact with me? Oh, you must want me back.
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  And sometimes this does end up with y'all being back in a
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  relationship and they're going to treat you worse.
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  It might start off good, but they're going to treat you worse
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  because now all no holds are barred.
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  All bets are off. You're reaching out to me.
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  You're contacting me, right? So if y'all do in the back
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  together, it doesn't mean that the relationship is going to get
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  any better. It just means that this is going
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  to be a different bottom line. You said that the bar has been
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  lowered now because now they know they what they can get away
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  with. And like I said a lot.
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  And sometimes if you break no contact they feel so good about
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  themselves. Y'all it's like euphoria.
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  It's like this euphoric feeling like it's a high you giving them
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  a high, right? You giving them a hit.
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  You giving them, you giving them a hit of Narcissistic of Supply.
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  If you break no contact with a narcissist, you are giving them
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  a hit of Narcissistic Supply. Because now they are going to
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  feel so validated. Now they're going to feel so in
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  charge. Now they're going to feel so
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  forgiven and so powerful and so justified.
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  So that's what you need to think about before you break no
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  Contact, because you're giving them a hit of Narcissistic
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  supply. You're validating their actions,
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  right? And if they have someone else,
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  they're going to try to hurt your feelings.
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  Sometimes they'll come back. They'll come back and try to do
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  they try to sleep with you, try to clap some chicks, whatever.
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  You know, they're trying to do all that, do that type of stuff.
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  But a lot of time they're going to take this opportunity to hurt
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  you because you hurt them by going no contact.
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  They're going to take this opportunity to get back at you,
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  to get their lick back, to get their metaphorical lick back on
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  you. So if you break no contact with
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  them, they're going to feel like, OK, now I get a chance to
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  hurt you, they're going to hurt your feelings.
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  Hey, I miss you. I don't miss you.
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  You were the worst thing that ever happened to me.
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  Leave me alone. I've moved on to bigger and
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  better things in life, and I left you in the past.
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  Why are you contacting me now? Got you.
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  Now your feelings are hurt. You're opening the door for them
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  to hurt your feelings, for them to break your heart, for them to
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  do damage to you. And a lot of them want
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  vengeance. Narcissists never forgive and
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  they never forget. So they and they they want
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  vengeance. Vengeance shall be.
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  Vengeance is mine, said the narcissist.
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  Vengeance will be mine, said the narcissistic person.
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  They're going to come try to attack you, so don't give them
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  that opportunity. Y'all.
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  So before you break no contact, watch this damn video over and
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  over again. Because do you ask yourself this
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  question right here? Do you want to give them
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  Narcissistic Supply? Do you want to validate their
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  emotions? Do you want to invalidate
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  yourself? Ask yourself those questions
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  right there. Y'all because those questions
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  are extremely important in these situations, you know?
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  So I hope this video bought you some clarity.
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  I hope it bought you some peace and I hope it keeps you from
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  breaking no contact. They reaching out to your toxic
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  narcissistic ex and giving them that Narcissistic Supply.
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  Giving them the ability to hurt your feelings and above all
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  giving them the ability to by giving them the ability to have
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  access to your life again to know how you're doing.
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  So make sure you protect yourself, protect your peace and
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  all of these situations. Y'all because at the end of the
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  day you have to choose you you know.
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  And also if you think about breaking no contact, make sure
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  like if you need help, stay no contact.
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  I have a support group called the Mental Healers.
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  The link is in the description of every video and podcast that
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  I do. Find a mental healers group,
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  join a support group. There's a lot of people in there
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  helping each other stay. No contact.
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  They're venting to each other, they're making friends and
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  whatnot. The link is in the description.
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  Every video on podcast that I do stay.
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  No contact. If possible, stay empowered and
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  drop the channel. That's what this is out Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 11:24
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 11:26
  to the channel helps. Reach more people and click on
• 11:28
  the screen to watch another video or to browse through
• 11:30
  another playlist. There's also a link on the
• 11:32
  screen to check out my courses and my support group to help you
• 11:35
  heal and understand what you've been through.
• 11:37
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 11:39
  video. Peace.