Latest / I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar / Cullen Crawford Disobeys Bridger

Transcript

Cullen Crawford Disobeys Bridger · I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: And I invited you here. I thought I made myself
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: So how do you dare to surbey me? Welcome to
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: I said, no, gift temperature wineger. We're here, We're doing
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: you know, the usual thing. They got started on a
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: very bad note. I sat next to a woman in
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: a terrible hat. I mean it didn't go any further
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: than that, but just out of the corner of my eye.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I was annoyed the entire time. I was supposed to
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: be relaxing. Meanwhile, she's got this hat. Okay, so that
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: happened this morning. What else has been going on? I
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: thought of two people I'm mad at on the drive here,
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: but I've managed to kind of put that on the
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: back burner. I'll be mad at them after the episode.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: And I think that's essentially everything. Is there anything in
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: my list of Oh, I did see some unappealing rolls
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: in the kitchen, the office kitchen. There are several unappealing rolls,
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: prepackaged rolls that looked like someone got them on a
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: flight or something. Just throw them out. I don't think
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: anyone's going to be eating those. I also realized recently,
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I think I've been eating expired cheese from the office fridge.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: They've since gotten rid of it. Of course, I eat
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: my baby Bell cheese almost every time I come here,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: and there were a few weeks in a row when
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I would begin gagging on the cheese, thinking there's something wrong.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: And then that bag of cheese went away and they
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: got a new one, and these ones don't make me gag,
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: so obviously there was something going on with that bag
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: of cheese. They need to be refreshing the cheese. This
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: is now just me talking to the office manager, Brian,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: get on it. Ah, Okay, then I think we should
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: just go through some actual business that I feel like
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: we never get around to. There's merchant exactly right, store
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: dot com probably slash. I said, no gifts, you can
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: use the internet. Figure it out. Great t shirt. Everybody's
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: got to get the t shirt. I just think it's dazzling.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Leave a review for the podcast, no matter how you
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: feel about it, but it should be a good, sparkling review,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: even if you hate the podcast. That's just a nice
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: thing you can do for a stranger, And I think
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: those are the two big pieces of business that I
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: just don't get around too often enough, and it's really
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: hurting them. I'm sorry. I think we should get into
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: the episode. I love today's guest. I really adore him.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: It's Colin Crawford. Colon, Welcome to I said, no gifts.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. Nice to see you, Bridge,
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: It's so nice to see you. To ask you a
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: cheese question, yeah, of course. How many times did you
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: eat the gag cheese and then eat it again before
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: you will figure out that this is not good cheese?
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: I would say it was probably four times in a row.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Now I have to explain why I continued trying. At home,
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: I have my own supply of babybelled cheese which I
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: refresh all the time, and those ones were fine. I
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: was able to eat, chew them, and swallow them without
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: feeling like I was going to be poisoned. So then
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: I think there was the feeling of like, maybe there's
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: just something something else is happening at the office and
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: I just need to get over it. But when it
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: happened four times in a row and I had to
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: spit it out in a garbage. I thought, Okay, this
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: is different than the one I have.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Okay, that sort of makes sense.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Have you ever had bad cheese?
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: So I've had bad cheese immediately flashing back to a
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: bad cheese experience. We had one grandmother who was like
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: kind of well to do in our family and the
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: rest of us are like dirt people. But she had
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: this kind of like gray gardens like some where. She
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: was the weirdest person I've ever met. Her house was
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: full of mannequins and stuff, and she.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Was like this office by the way, it's like a
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: cigarette and Smarties and an ash tray.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like that. And she would have us
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: eat whatever was in her fridge, no matter how old
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: it was, and it was very important to her that
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: we eat it, and like truly substances that I could
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: not identify. I choked down. I then would go throw
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: up in the other room. And she made me eat
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: this fucking cheddar cheese that was like half green, and uh,
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: I still think about it. It felt very weird and it yeah,
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: I mean it tastes like mold.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Did it make you sick at all?
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Oh god, Well, that's the thing about cheese, And I
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: think even growing up, we would like if there was
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: mold on the cheese, my mom would be like, well
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: just cut that part off and throw it away. Yeah,
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: because cheese is mold. I think it's a little bit
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: we're playing with fire.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, It's like margins around a tumor. It's like how
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: far do you cut around it?
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I now if there's a mold on anything in my fridge,
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: it's immediately thrown out.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: Ooh, I still got that like that like raised from
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: circumstances in me. That's like, h the some of the
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: bread is still good?
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Oh bread, No, there's absolutely no chance.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: What about expiration dates?
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: With expiration dates I've gotten very loosey goosey with because
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: it's a it's a scam. Yeah, it's like essentially a scam,
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: unless it's something that's like eggs, like something that could
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: grow bacteria and give you a real sickness. I think
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, well, I'll try it and if it
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: doesn't taste great, I'll throw it out.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: Turkey, a lot of the time we buy already expired key.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: I will smell it. I follow my nose on expired turkey.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: I have a problem with regular turkey Delli me. In general,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I have to be it has to be
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: so pristine.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: That's probably a good policy, But it's like gone through
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: so many processes that I don't feel like it's barely
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: an animal anymore.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: It's almost like eighty percent salt.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, that's probably true.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: It's like probably what they did in the Pioneers.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: Sailors reading like bars head turkey.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just in a big trunk of salt in me,
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: so that makes kind of sense to me. But I
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: recently had to throw out some cottage cheese, which I
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: usually power through my cottage cheese. This one I left
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: alone even too long.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: Fresh cottage tees are kind of powering through.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Not true? Are you not on board with cottage cheese.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: I'm a big consistency guy. Oh and like certain consistencies
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: I just can't do well.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: This is the thing I've learned with cottage cheese. Even
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: just like you know, it depends on the brand. There
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: are some cottage cheese where the consistency is absolutely disc vile,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: and then like the same like fat content whatever of
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: another brand. Delicious Okay, Trader Jose makes an excellent cottage cheese.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Trader Jos reach out. I also you have to. I
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: guess there's a difference between curd size, which I don't
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: even like to say curd size, but if you get
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: the one that's large, it's disgusting. That really feels like
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: milk gone wrong. Yeah, it's like, well, is this feels
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: like milk with huge chunks in it, which is revolting.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're better than that.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: But you also need to have like a dry something
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: with cottage cheese. You need to have toast a cracker.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: What is the like I've had it a couple of times,
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: but like, are we going savory? Are we going sweet savory?
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: I need I just need like a plain cottage or
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: a plain toast with cottage cheese. Some people like to
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: put like jam or something in it. I haven't tried
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: that yet because I feel like when dairy goes bad,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: it gets sweet, and so it's like, well, this is
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: just pushing it even further into the territory of this.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Is something kind of trealy about that consistency plus sweetness. Also,
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: can I just say this is exactly what I thought
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: being on a podcast, we're.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: Reading from a script? I said, no script?
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Right now?
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: We fed this into chat GPT.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: What would Bridger say, consistency Chat with Bridger.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: No, I'm I'm going through at least one giant thing
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: thing of cottage cheese a week, but I think it
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: recently went viral, which is the curse for everything. Yeah,
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: then you go into Trader Joe's. The shelves are empty,
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: and you think these are these are just you know,
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: people who are like fake fans. Yeah, they're the fake fans.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: They're the fair Weather fans.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Sizes, Yes, exactly.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: I can name at least two, and I could if
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I use my imagination, I could get three more in there, medium, tiny,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: and extra medium. But I went in there totally empty.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: It was like when the Celery went viral. Do you
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: remember when Celery went viral?
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: You're on different.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Well, I'll say outside of celery and cottage cheese, the
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: rest of mine is just pure pornox on the same internet. No,
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: there was a I think this was like shortly maybe
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: after the pandemic, like the shutdown of the pandemic. People
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: were like juicing celery juicing. Yeah, they were like turning.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: They were just drinking straight up, like they would run
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: the celery through their juicer and then just drink that.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: What do you get out of that?
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: It's not like the whole thing about Celery that like
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: it's nothing. But I think people were saying it was
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: solving their problem. I think that is the thing. Now.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: You think you hear something online that might fix something,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: and you're like, well, nothing else is just.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: By fucking pre workout powder, just.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Because what is pre workout powder?
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: It's like super energy drink and like I'm not even
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: working out, I'm just using it to like be excited
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: for the day.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: Does that have a flavor?
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: Uh fruit punch?
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Oh? Okay, So it's almost like a fun dip situation. It's
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: like and do you mix it into water or what?
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, you drinks into water and you chug it
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: and you're supposed to like get excited to work out.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Basically, it gives you a good attitude. Interesting, I want
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: to try that, you show I'm always looking for new
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: things for exercise.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: The pitch that it was given to me is you
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: take it. And I've only done it a couple of
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: times now, but like you, it makes you if you're
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: not like if you decide not to work out, it
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: makes that a very unsatisfy like it makes you feel
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: kind of crazy that.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: Has a bad consequence exactly.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Yes, Wow, I was raised Catholic.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Where did you order this from?
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: Uh? GNC?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: GNC? I've never purchased a GNC product.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Oh you haven't lived.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: GNC has really stuck it out, it really has. I
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: feel like there was like a huge period of time
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: when people were like no one but like weird bodybuilders
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: shop there, and it was in every mall. And now
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: I feel like probably kind of average people go and
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: buy Yah.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: I think obviously people there's like health and wellness all
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: over the world, right. I think DNC's really good at
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: riding whatever. The current wave is.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Oh interesting. It's kind of almost like a weight Watchers
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: thing where it's just like we have a new weight watching.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: I like weight Watchers new thing. It's like it's cool
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: that you're fat, don't worry about it. But I also
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: stop being.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they really will just like they maneuver, they have
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: to do something to survive. I think they now do
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: golp once, which I guess is like they probably saw
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: those coming and thought, okay, it's over look.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: No one's more tented by the golp ones than I am.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: But like I just can't get over the idea that
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: in ten years everyone's like eyeballs are going to be
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: falling out or something because they this was too good
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: to be true.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know what to say. I'm on
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: the side of Big Pharma, no.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: Matter what you texted me that beforehand.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Please don't speak ill of Big Pharma. Okay, well, I
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: want to try this group. My one problem with that
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: is fruit punch flavor is my least favorite flavor of anything.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: What is because I have like fruit punch gatorade in
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: my fridge, right, the red one, yes, And I like
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: I couldn't tell you a single fruit flavor, Like I
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: can't identify a flavor in the fruit.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what I wonder what like the bass formula for
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: fruit punch is like red red we have we love
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: the red fruit, I guess. And the fruit punch and
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: tropical punch is there tropical fruit punch? What there's a
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: tropical punch?
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: I feel like it will be purple, usually purple. It'll
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: have like a what's the purple fruit guava or something?
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: The big boy? Is it no passion? Yeah? I don't
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: have a passion fruit on there?
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: And again it just tastes like sweet sludge.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: And then there's Hawaiian punch, yes, which also has pineapple,
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: but it's red. It's red, and it has the weird
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: little man.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: The weird little who I thought was a moose forever.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Well, I think we're thinking about different man. And I
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: always thought he was a leprech on.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: So he is a little man, but I thought he
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: was a moose because he's got a straw hat and
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: it looks like antlers.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm imagining a guy with like a
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: broccoli shaped hair. Hm, let's see, I'm muggling this guy.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Let's get our eyes on Hawaiian Oh, that's right, we
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: can't agree he's violent. Oh, he does. Look so that's
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: a hat.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: That's a hat. Yes.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: For the longest time, I thought that was hair. Oh,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: but I think it's because for a long time it
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: was just two colors. It was red and blue, and
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: you didn't really see the hair underneath that thing.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought that was.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: He almost looks like he belongs to what was the
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: True Detective cult? You the original True Detective. I think
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: there's a cult that has something to do with antlers.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: This is sounding right.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: I just want to say The look on that guy's
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: face is really bugging. I don't like it.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: He also looks like the front of his body is
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: the back of his body.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Okay, we're talking this so perfect, perfect Hawaiian culture. The
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: blue and white striped shirt that no one has ever
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: worn in an entire life.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: This man looks more like me than a Hawaiian person.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: And then they've gone three D, which this isn't working
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: in any way, and now he's looking more like Greek myth.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: He's also now he looks like he's happy for me
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: to have the punch.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: To hit me, and he's drinking his Hawaiian punch room temperature.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: It looks like which I'm not in love with. But
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: it looks like Hawaiian punch is pineapple and peach.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: That's either a peach or a very suggestively shaved like apple.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: And then yeah, a purple ball.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: My favorite fruit. Oh, it looks like he's meeting somebody
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: there used to be another character. Are you familiarly that's
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: the man who he Oh that guy's not Hawaiian enough
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: or something interesting. Well, I hate all of those flavors.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I think they're all disgusting. I and the worst one
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: of all I think i've I've talked to somebody on
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: this podcast about it before. There's a fruit punch flavored
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Waterloo that tastes like rotting.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, horrible.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: It's the worst flavor. The Waterloo people usually are pretty
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: good about their flavors, and they should be ashamed of
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: this flavor. It feels like something went wrong and they like,
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: it's not even supposed to be that flavor and they
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: just poured it into cans and trying to off sell that.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: Almost like it's like they like, this will make you
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: appreciate the other water loos more.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Right, you have to have at least one of those
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: in every water I feel like with Lacroix, it's probably
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: which one is the worst.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: Well, this is controversial because everyone everyone hates someone really loves.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Like I don't mind the what is it, the suntan one.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Coconut, Yeah, I don't mind cocaine. I don't mind that
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: one either.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: I had one that tastes a lot like pre sun recently.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: Oh interesting, And it's called like beach beach plum. Yeah, beach.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: I like beach plump.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I like beach plum yeah. Again, Like I feel
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: like everyone has one that they like and hate. I
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: don't really, I'll like skip the lemons in the limes
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: usually just because.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: They're kind of like the most default flavor of all,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: although I feel like those taste more like what sprite
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: should taste like than sprite tastes like interesting because sprite,
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: to me, does not taste like lemon. Limes.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Was like a formative substance for me, is I think.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: It is for every child, I think past nine years old. Though,
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: if you're drinking spars, oh.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: Boy, we should talk about my entire diet. If we're
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: worrying about progressing after being.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: Nine, How was it formative for you?
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: It just was like, this is what refreshment tastes. It
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: really worked on me, all the stuff.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: I feel like as a child, whenever we would go
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: to like a fast food Greek place, I would always
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: order sprite and feel like I was really like sophisticated.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Come combining that with my Greek food.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, also you are sophisticated going to Greek restaurants in
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: Mormon Utah, Utah.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: There's so many Greek christries, there's a huge Greek population.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: I would have thought this is like exotic as hell.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, they're even represented in the Real
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Housewives of Salt Lake City by Angie k. She's very Greek,
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: She's very there's a there are three Greek hamburger chains
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: in Utah, all owned by Greek people, Crown Burger, Apollo Burger,
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: and Astro Burger, and they're all essentially the same restaurant.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I think there must have been a family that's.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Very high falutin words.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you go in and it's very it's very like
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: decorated by like somebody went to the Michaels decorating section
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: and said, we're going to do like a fancy restaurant.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: I know exactly what you mean. I'm picturing it exactly.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: But yeah, Greeks are very well represented in Utah, but
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: not in Los Angeles. They're like two.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I think actually the one good Greek restaurant is closing
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: down that people really like Papa Christo's, who's the guy
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: there is just an adorable man. I don't know what
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: they're doing, too far away from me to drive to,
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: so I never went doing the problem.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: You'll never go mean all the diners are dying.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: All of the diners are dying.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Trump, you were a one issue and you didn't even
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: say about diners. I was like, this guy seems like
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: he would want to bring back dinner.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: No, I don't think he would like a diner. I
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: don't think. Yeah, it's too it's too comfortable, it's too
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: like laid back.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: And like a brassy waitress. I think Trump could not
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: deal with.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, there's no chance a waitress that would speak back
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: to him. There's no chance that he would put up
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: with that's do you know what diner I love in
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Los Angeles is Clark Street Diner.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: I do like we've we ate their semi reason.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's true. I like I go there too frequently.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: I just wish it wasn't so crowded all the time.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: You go on a weeknight, okay, and you'll probably.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: Be okay, and I'll see you there.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: You absolutely run into people constantly there, and it's not
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: because they're always there, it's because I'm always there. So
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: I'm just by a man the mayor of uh did
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: you drive your car here? Today?
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Did drive my car?
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Do you want to talk about your car at all?
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: I liked it. If you don't know about my car,
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: this sounds like we're in an English textbook or something.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: The usually I drove it to the bookstore, and I
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: drove it to the library and the grocery store. No,
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: I have a car. So like, right when COVID hit
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: and everyone was going insane, my version of going insane
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: was I got a TV job and I was like,
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: I'm going to spend some of this money on a
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: thing that will make me happy. And I bought a
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: twenty eighteen Ford Mustang. And then I was like, I'm
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: going to learn to like work on cars on this.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: So I started to try and make it faster, with
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: varying results.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize you tried to make it fast.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: I did, and like it's like learning about like adding
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: components to the engine and stuff.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: And then I was like, well, this thing deserves some
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: pomp and circumstance. So I named it swamp Trash and
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: I made a logo for it of a big possum,
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: and I made fake sponsors for it, and I just
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: decorated the fuck this car. And I think it Like
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: people are like, do you think this is cool or
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: is this a bit? And I'm like, it's it's both.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's absolutely both.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: All the difference anymore.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: Do you get comments from strangers about it.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: Yes, I get a lot of thumbs up, a lot
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: of people looking at it, and then like real car
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: guys will look at me like I'm an asshole, which
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: I'm totally cool.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: That's the best compliment you can possibly get.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: One time, I accidentally drove to Bob's Big Boy in
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: it on like car night, and the amount of truly
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: I was like, I didn't know it was car night,
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: and I like went through all these like camaros and shit,
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: and like the angry, mean girl looks I got from
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: every dentist with disposal income was shocking, how just and
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: I just like did the little like drive in, turn around,
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: drive out. I have not wanted here.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Well, to be fair to them, you are kind of
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: making fun.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: Of the kind of but also celebrating.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, I think it's really a beautiful thing. And the logo,
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: the possum logo is so incredible And I'm not even
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: a pos someome person, but I think.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: It works increase the possum guy.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: I am too, to be honest, I've like finally like
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: something has broken in me. I saw enough pictures of
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: baby possums that like, I'm getting on board with the
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: entire creature.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: They also are in the swamp, but they're not like
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: the swampiest animal. I think about that a lot. That
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: like they're everywhere.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Everywhere except for Utah, Yeah, which is I never I
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: never saw a possum until I lived in La and
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: then I was like, Oh, that thing's under my car.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: I like them. I like the little rat tail.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: What do you think is the swampiest creature?
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: Probably an alligator, sure, or like a water moccasin, but
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: that's like too.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Cool for what's a water moccasin.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: It's really poisonous snake. There's probably a better real name,
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: all right.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: And they swim, they swim, oh evil.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: And apparently this is what I was told growing up.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Maybe this is like not true, but like if you
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: get bit by by one once, there's an antidote, but
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: it won't work the second time you.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Get it's a learn your lessons exactly. Wow, that's fascinating.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: I just read The Orchid Thief and it's a very
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: swamp heavy book, and I just love reading about the
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: swamp and just what a bizarre place it is.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: It really is a cool place. I'm from Louisiana, by
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: the way, that's why it's called swamp trash, just like
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: a maniac.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: Have you I imagine you've been on swamp tours?
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Have you ever just been into the swamp by yourself?
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: So like we used to. There's a river in my
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: town outside of New Orleans called, uh the Bugafalaya River.
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: Oh, I love that name, and we used to go
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: uh tubing in it, okay, and you would fall out
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: of the tube like drag behind a boat tubing, all right,
• 22:38
  Speaker 5: and you'd fall out and you'd see like gators on
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: the shore and stuff like.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: That's terrifying.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just nine years old floating in dark water
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: like oh, waiting for the boat to come around.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I have a hard time in just like a normal lake.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine. Did you know anybody who was attacked
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: by a gator?
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: I did not? Do you ask all your guests?
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: I should put that on the list. We're gonna find
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: somebody who knows somebody.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: This is the second podcast I've talked about this on.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: But gators don't bite you. I mean they do, but
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: their main motive attack is not biting you.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Is it the tail?
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: They hug you and very sweet.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Their problem is loving too much? Wow, I didn't realize.
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they like wrap around you and then drown you.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Whoa and then eat you. Then you so do crocodiles bite?
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: Crocodiles bite the shit out of you.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Interesting and I feel like we tried to get to
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: the bottom of this on a recent episode of like
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: where crocodiles live?
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: Is it.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Probably Australia, so they're not in the Americas.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: I'm sure some have gotten here, right, but that's where
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: they're from.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I this is kind of related. I was in Hawaii
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: a couple of months ago and I was told we
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: were in Kawaii and their chickens everywhere. And we were
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: told the way the chickens got there is there was
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: a hurricane and blew them all there. Leave this.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: That sounds like a fun thing to tell taurusts. Right,
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: Maybe are there a lot of hurricanes the.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Hawaii Well, I guess it would be a typhoon.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe it wrecked the ship that had some chickens
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: on it.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Something closer, or maybe someone's just brought them.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that also makes sense. It's a thing that people cultivate.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: I just kind of mentioned a chicken being blown around
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: so much by a hurricane that I got to another
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: island and was still alive.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, either unless, but I don't want to doubt someone's
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: story either.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: That's fun, tell you anything, and maybe it's true. Yeah,
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I think that. I mean it's wilder. Things have happened,
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: and maybe a hen got blown there and killed and
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: then an egg popped out of it.
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: Now we're talking. Maybe a bigger bird killed a hen
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: and carried.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: It and sprinkled its eggs all though. See, these are
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: things that can happen in nature. Yes, and well, speaking
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: of bad things, Colin, I was looking forward to have
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: you're here on the podcast today. I thought, Colin will
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: come by, we'll you speculate on how chickens got to
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: different places, and then we'll move on with our days.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: So I was a little surprised. The podcast is called
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: I said no gifts, So I was. I was floored
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: when you showed up holding this beautifully wrapped gift.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: Well, I bring you gifts every time we see each other.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: There has nothing to do with the podcast. You spoil me, Yes,
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: it's like we both get off on it.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, there's something. It's a sick game. So I
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Well, it's in this
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: beautifully wrapped bag. It's this gift bag by Ralph. Yes,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: you obviously got the up Papyrus or one of these
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: classy stores. Should I open it here on the podcast?
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: Yes, I think you should.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, so we'll dip into this bag Ralph's fresh for us.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Let's see here. That's oh, what is the smelling salts?
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Smelling salts?
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: But it has like a holograph of a screaming lion
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: on it. It looks like, you know, it's like almost
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: like Devian Art style lion drawing. And it's for inhalation only,
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: and it's by the band band by the this could
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: be a band Bodas Son brand Bodas on what's going on?
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: So this is smelling salts recently? Is the thing that
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: I have like sort of half ironically gotten into. It's
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: a thing that weightlifters use to like get hype to
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: lift weights again.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: Theme, the way you're bordering on actual drugs is very interesting.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: I mean yes, uh. And also NFL players use the
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: two high concussion symptoms.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: What and oh this is dark.
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: So we saw my friends and I who watched football
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: together saw like a segment where some guys tried this
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: on the air, and they were all like kind of
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: wreaking out, and so we bought some and did them,
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: and it's extremely unpleasant but also kind of gets you
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: real excited. And so I wanted to include you in
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: this journey that I'm on. So I thought we could
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: do some smelling salts on the air. And this was
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: just the like most gas station looking one I could find.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Where did you get these?
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: I got this on the internet?
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: How dangerous is this?
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: It's not dangerous. It's just like concentrated cat piss. Basically,
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: it's not gonna hurt you, except for it'll be unpleasant.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Well, before I get before I lose my mind, we
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: should talk about the science of this. Do you know
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: anything about how it does? Any of this?
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: It's just ammonia that, like I think, just really opens
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: up your nasal passages and there's a lot of oxygen.
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: Your don't you're going to be the last guest on
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: this podcast.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: Just because you're gonna devote your life to the smelling.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Salts selling them? Yeah, I found my true My true
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: calling is selling smelling salts. So wait, what is the
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: actual like use for these?
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: What was the original I think I gus for fainting
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: Victorian ladies. Oh, of course, like waking them up.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: And then the second is hiding concussions. How does it
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: hide them?
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: It like I don't know, It like focuses you temporarily. Wow.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Have they done anything to correct the concussion?
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: What?
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: They now have these things called guardian caps that are
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: like big soft layers on top of the football house
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: that apparently do like decrease the repetitive injury. Really, but
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: it's optional and guys don't wear them because they look
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: goofy Oh.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: No, So it's like kids on bikes in the nineties.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: Yes, exactly.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, so like in twenty years they'll finally be like, well,
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: I can't believe we weren't wearing our guardian caps. So
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: do any of them wear these?
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: I've seen certain guys do wear them, and then everyone makes.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Fun these losers. Safety first, exactly, you're making a ton
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: of money just put on this thing and so you
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: don't end up losing your mind when you're fifty.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: And I think I'm starting to like kind of like
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: it because I think see this, they look kind of
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: like toad On from Marrow.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: Oh that's a great look. They should sponsor somebody Oh,
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: that would be wonderful, Guardian cap.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: Let's see teaching about all sorts of things.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is great. It looks like big head mode
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: in video.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: We just need to embrace it. It's fun.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: These are incredible. This looks like something from the Last
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: of Us. They're all kinds of things. These are great. Yeah, agreed,
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: If just one cool NFL player would wear one, they
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: would all do it. They kind of look like grenades.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they do kind of look like grenade.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: This is fantastic. Oh, I want to wear one of
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: these in real lives.
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: I'm not to say, like, if you can get a
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: bigger version of your head to wear on top of
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: your head, I feel like that would be a really
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: good move.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Wow, somebody should do something. Some of these actually kind
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: of look see that looks kind of sleek.
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know if the video person can see this
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: or not, but that looks almost like a volleyball, basically
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: like a giant volleyball stuck on top of some body's head.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm for it, but and I am cool, so
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: you are, Yeah, So I think that that's fine. Well,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: I had no idea somebody had tried the idea of
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: like being an NFL player at this point and knowing
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: how awful it can be for somebody and not wearing
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: one of those, that's it's bonkers.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: But then I feel like we're all making choices like
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: not me.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: I did realize. I mean, I haven't snowboarded in years,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: but like when I was, I never wore a helmet.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, First of all, you're way too cool for that.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: I'm talking about like eating microplastics. It's like we're all
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: killing ourselves with a bunch of things.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Anyway, Yes, that's true, that's very true. But I don't know.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: If I was on a motorcycle, I would definitely wear
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: a helmet. Yes, absolutely, An NFL player, if they were
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: on a motorcycle, would probably wear a helmet. I'm trying
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: to reach out to our NFL base. That's most of
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: our listeners are guys.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Players, but also general managers.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Of course of course the coaches. It's everybody involved. But yeah,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: that's uh, I wonder.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: I love your Super Bowl episode. Oh yeah, of course
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: you did a live reaction to the game.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: We turned it off during the halftime show. I was
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: too mad. I was screaming. I had to go over
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: to America's halftime. What is that? What that was called
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: the kid Rock? Is that what it was called? Turning Point? Unsays, Uh, yeah,
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: I didn't.
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: I don't know much about it because I've I used
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: to really like like a pig and ship sort of
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: dive into that stuff, and I'm like, I can't.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Let that be part of my Like they've taken up
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: too much of my life already. Exactly, but no, of course, Yeah,
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: the super Bowl episode was the ratings were huge, and
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: we'll be back again next year. Football fans tuning.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: In, Oh man, we're gonna do it now.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Kind of half. I actually there was a while I
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: made a joke about this a long time ago, but
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: I said, like, I wonder what would come out of
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: my mouth if somebody had a gun to my head
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: and said, commentation football game? Because I have, I do
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: not know what I would be able to say.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: This is the best idea I've ever heard. I think
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: we should dynasty typewriter. We will live commentate the super
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: Bowl next year.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: That's a good hostage movie. But it's just me commentating
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: the super Bowl with a gun to my head.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like speed, Yeah, it's exactly. If he says
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: one thing that is like completely unmasculine your head.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: And I'm kind of a Sandy Bullock tie. Yes exactly,
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: this is speed three. Was there a speed three.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: Versus speed I checked that after cruise control.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: I think that like they kind of took it as
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: far as possible. I can't believe they haven't rebooted speed.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: It is funny. Yeah, first of all, that is crazy.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: But like when you're thinking about, like what's the escalation
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: from bus can't slow down cruise shif is a strange choice.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like there were so many other things that
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: could have done in between the two of those, and.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: You can't tell the difference. If a cruise ship is going.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: The cruise ship would have to be going so fast.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: A cruise ship going like a thousand miles hour.
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: Now that I would watch. So what's your Okay, let's
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: let's go through what's your ideal speed too? Vehicle?
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: Okay? Over a bus okay. So and let me remind
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: myself of the rules of speed. If it went under
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: fifty miles an hour.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: Under fifty it would blow up. There's a bomb on board.
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: I don't would have.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Gone like seventy five. Why were they fifty is such
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: a mild speed.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: I mean for a bus though.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: I know, but it's a movie, right, Do you.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: Remember what the bad guy was hoping to achieve social
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: like mister Beast like.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: He's gonna do it, he will, He's going to do it,
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: and then he's also going to somehow cure blindness while
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: it's happening. But uh, I can't remember. I just remember
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: the bus, and then I remember like somebody crawling into
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: the sewer at the end or something. Is that right?
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: I think they were all right? Did they end up
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: in the subway?
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I remember like somebody lifting like a or hydron off
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: the ground and being like I'm out of here, or of.
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: Course you gotta In the bus movie, in the sewer,
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: creators are making some wild choices.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: But somebody needs to go back and get their eyes
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: on that movie because I need to obviously. But yeah,
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: what could the goal have possibly been? You just hated
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Sandra Bola.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: Distractions or x you see, like robbing a bank while
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: everyone's watching the bus that canceled down. Seems like there's
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: easier distractions.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: I hope it was somebody at the back of the
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: bus that just needed to get some more fast like
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: that moved. But yeah, my second vehicle choice, like, what
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: would be something that would be fun to watch those really? Yeah?
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: That or a bacco I would say, yeah, I like
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: a bacco. There's certain I love cement trucks, truck going
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: really fast that there's not enough at risk there. It's
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: just basically like one guy and some cement.
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: That's true, So we need a high occupancy vehicle. All right, blimp,
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: we're now we're getting to the cruise control territory exactly.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: And again I don't know how many people. Yeah, there
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: aren't that many things.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: Perfect choice. It's hard to beat bussing.
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's buss and then cruise ship.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: And buses that they can't go fast but has to
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: go fast, which I think is part of.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: It, right, and there's not that much fuel.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: Maybe like fifteen motorcycles.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: I think a float would be fun. Breat floats and
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: you have to keep entertaining the crowd. It has to
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: be the best float ever done.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: Well. Okay, there is a movie that no one saw
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: at all, and I was really drunk the first time
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: I saw it, so I was like, this is a masterpiece.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: And then I made all my friends watch it and
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: they all hated it, and it's called Grand Piano. Oh
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: do you know this movie. It's a movie I think
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: starring Elijah Wood as a concert pianist who has to
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: get play a whole piece from memory. If he plays
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: one wrong note, the piano explodes. And what I remember
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: I can't remember how he found out, but I think
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: he's got like an ear piece in and it's like,
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: if you fuck up, you're gonna blow up. And then
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: I remember that it ends with him like on the
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: back of a flatbed truck, still playing the piano.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: Was this before or after? Was it Vanessa Carlton or
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: Michelle Branch who drove the piano around town?
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: I think this is after. It might have beens prior.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: Based on the music. Wow, I have to see that.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: You should watch Grand Piano.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, anyone who's ever had piano lessons can relate
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: so directly to the I remember, like Missus Ziegler, her
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: eyes just on the back of my head while I
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: was playing the Friends theme song or whatever.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: Did you learn the Friends themes for a recital? Did
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: you do the claps?
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: I should have?
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: You really should.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: That was her fault. That was my piano.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: Teachers come on. What's the main thing about this?
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: Yes, how did a seventy year old woman not tell
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: me to do the hand claps?
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: She's not about getting outside the box.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: What a flop she was? Okay, Well, I think we
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: should try these. I think, okay, this is so dangerous.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: I want to say you do it first.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: But I think it's more fun if you do it.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Maybe we should have alis do them first.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: So it's become a thing now among my friend group
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: at parties to like do smelling salts.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: And these are different than bath salts.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: These are different than best okay, because nothing bad is
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: going to happen to you accept something extremely bad, like
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: no damage will be done.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: How does this not like further concussion problem?
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: Man? Maybe it does. Okay, maybe this is like GLP one.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: We'll find out that this is going to kill me.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: Kid smelling the box, you can smell it through the box.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: So usually when I do is little ampules and you
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: crack them and do it. But I think this is
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: just like a jar of goo that you open up.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: This is okay, just have directions. Do not use if
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: you have respiratory conditions, you have asthma, ye, okay, well
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: then that's I'm I guess I can do them. Okay,
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: opening it? What a cute little bottle. Cute bottle ten
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: to fifteen centimeters from nostrils. Inhaled gently, Do not place
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: it directly in the nostril. Do not inhale for more
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: than two seconds. Do not use more than once every sixty.
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: Op take Can we hold for just one moment?
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: Please call the insurance company?
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: What's going on?
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: Oh boy, I am the first one to bring like
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: a gift so bad that it's not allowed to be used.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: Something is something has gone wrong corporate?
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: No, it's all it is.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: One second okay, Oh, I just do them right now
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: before anyway, just for fun, Ellie, what's going on?
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: I just want to make sure everything's okay for you
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: to use these.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: Let's see here.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: I didn't mean to peer pressure, like.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: The steaks of this are very hot. This is I
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: think that this is a to edit this a little bit,
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: but I you, like, this is something that people need
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: to experience in real time, whether or not I can
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: use the smell exce. I mean, well, I wonder if
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: I'll let you use them.
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm I haven't used this particular brand.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: This is uh. I can't believe this.
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: This is a I am truly sorry. If this caused
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: some sort of there's nothing.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: To apologize or I like how dangerous this is because.
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: Can we're talking football, motorcycles.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: This is the episode I've ever done. I should have
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: worn sunglasses. Let's see here, there's a lot of concern
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: behind the scenes. Yeah, this is looking a little We're
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: not sure.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: I'm happy to be the only one that does it.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: I'm sure it's fine, but I just I want to
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: be extra of course. I want to make sure you
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: guys are both safe.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: And have blood on your hands exactly.
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: I don't want anything your health. I just don't want to,
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: you know, have anything come back on to me. That's
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: my concern.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: Would Joe Rogan do it, that's the big question. I
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: think Joe would have done it. And that's how I
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: lead my life.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: I went on dough Boys before. There's no one worried
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: about like the food I was.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: I thought you were gonna be like I had them
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: do this smell.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: We did poppers on do this is.
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: I was reading some stuff about smelling salts and I
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: just you.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: Know, oh, this is entirely You're not even talking to
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: the network.
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: No, I'm having I'm having Jessica come in just to
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: get confirmation. Listen, if you all want to pass yourselves out.
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: I'm so for I'm just making them all the time.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna.
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: Just please don't sniff too hard. That's what we're coming back.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: You can do it, just don't do yourself to Thank
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: you very much.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: I appreciate your humor.
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: I don't wake up. I'm gonna say it's pretty weak.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: Oh it is. Oh, I mean, it's like it's like
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: when you're mopping the house or yeah.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of like concentrated.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a sort of thing where you think, oh, no,
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: I've just damaged my brain and I was all I
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: was trying to do is mop the house.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: But I always get like a little bit excited after it.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: There's a there's a familiar feeling about that to me.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: That's like something else. I think it is just cleaning
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: the house and the natural high of having a tidy
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: This is.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: This is why NFL players love is they never clean
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: their own house.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: They don't know, oh yeah, they have so manyone does
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: it for right. This is like kind of the artificial
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: way of feeling like you're clean.
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: And you know what, there might be even some like yeah,
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: it's like I mean, it.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Is kind of you get that kind of like yeah,
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: and it's like if you've ever had a cat, it's
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: like cat litter, the smell of cat.
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: So that's your.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: How were you introduced to this?
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: We just did it at a friend's wedding. My friend
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: brought a bunch of ampules of it, and like the
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: liqu ones are even more powerful, and it was really fun.
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: It's fun to watch other people sort of get initiated
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: into it right right, And so now I just like
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: I do it.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: Now you're addicted and it's a problem.
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: I like doing it like concerts, And.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: I guess you can take these anywhere. You probably take
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: it on a plane.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: You do, right a CoP's face.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Get pulled over.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: It's legal. Sorry, the one hundred and twenty miles per
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: hour I was driving was i'tllegal.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: Wow, it's so fascinating. I'm really I think this is
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: such an interesting thing that I'm now addicted to.
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: It's so funny that like after all that build up,
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: you're just like, oh, it's.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: Kind of nice. Yeah, it's just kind of a thing
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: that I can imagine this way EMT should have these.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: I think they probably do.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: They put them under your nose, like that's the first
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: line of something. And do you just have like a
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: whole cupboard of these at home now.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: I had a big box of them and we've gone
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: through them.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: Do you have a favorite brand?
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: There's one that looks a little more medical. It's like
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: in a white box. It doesn't have a lot and
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: those are that's the good stuff.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: That's for babies, that's for losers and babies and geeks.
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: Well, I thought this one was gonna be overwhelming because
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: there was a line on this.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Is kind of nothing. It does look like gas station.
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: Brandy, which which is what I Who are.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: The companies behind these gas station brands? That's my big question.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: I saw a guy I get the weirdest sit on Instagram.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: I believe that.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: There's like a chemist who like buys this stuff and
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: like analyzes it to see if it's like there's real
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: stuff in it or not. And some of them do
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: have like weird stimulusstuff. What I don't I didn't pay
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: enough tention, but like he's like, yeah, this will mess
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: you up. This is basically legal speed or whatever.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: WHOA yeah, I mean I guess it. Truck stops sometimes
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: you're looking for something.
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: Always I know, I.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, do they come in different flavors or anything? No,
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: it's always just that I feel like that would be
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: a natural thing. Just add some yeah, put some menthol in. Right,
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: It's for smelling, so why not make it smell beyond?
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: This is maybe a growth industry. Like, yes, it's legal
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: for children to do.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: It's truly for anybody. Ever. People should have this around
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: the house.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: Like a chicken in every pot, smelling.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: Smelling salts and everything salts everywhere. This does feel like
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: at a really bad diner, like at a waffle house.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: You could probably buy these at the front counter a.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: Bad diner in front of me. This is the one
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: thing I will throw hands.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: I've never been to waffle house.
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: House is wonderful. It does not deserve the place in
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: our culture that it has, is it.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you, I despise Denny's better than Dennis
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: Oh my.
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: God, you would spit Denny's out of your mouth.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: I do regularly after having this. And the way the
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: reason I'll say that Denny's is so horrible is because
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: not only is it bad, it's not even cheap for
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: how bad it is.
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: Yes, I agree.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's robbing Americans in a way where
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: I'm like if it was like cheap.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: Sure, you know that cartoon of Mickey Mouse like cutting
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: the bean and like.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: Little that's like a very early memory for me. That's
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: from Prince and the Popper.
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's where I feel like. That's how they make
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: their bacon, is like there's a big thing of bacon
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: and they're cutting a little, transparent, tiny thing of bacon
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: off of it.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, then it's more like a moth wing moth wing baconth.
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: Wing bacon, which is like that does feel like it's
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: gonna be a trendy.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. Waffle House is like decent quality food.
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: House is fucking good. Food, is delicious, it's cheap, and
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: it's open all the time. And the reason it has
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: a reputation for being like a place for dirt bags
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: is because it's so good and open that drunk people
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: go there and start a bunch of shit, right, And
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: then because of that, the staff has to get.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: Good, right, have to do kung fu training or something.
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: It is fucking good food. And I would say anyone
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: if you're in the South, go to waffle House. They
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: probably support.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: The worst excellent cause.
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: But I do. I do love the food a lot.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: Is the menu expansive or is it just like breakfast?
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: It's pretty expansive, really. They have, you know, all sorts
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: of sandwiches and stuff. Okay, the waffles are very good.
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: Though, and oh okay, so what you're saying is the
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: rest of the menu is not great.
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: I've never had like the Chicken Club or anything. I
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: always get the breakfast.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: I feel like a club sandwhich. If a restaurant can't
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: make a decent club sandwhich, something has gone extremely wrong.
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: Because it's a it's just like good things A bunch
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: of them put together, agreed, And I.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: Say, a white chicken breast, you can fuck up. Oh
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: they've all had a dry white chicken.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: Or of one where you're like, I don't know if
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: this is cooked all the way through. Oh now I'm scared.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: But Turkey Club is an easier one, or it's just
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: Deli meats. Yes, Chicken Club is a little bit trickier.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: I guess you're that's true. But a club sandwich in
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: general should be good on almost that and a cop
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: salad should be good on any men.
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: Is a club sandwich from like country club.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: Is that it's a good question.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: It feels like country club food today.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: Right, but structurally also feels like the club. You know
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: it's got two floors and club Yeah. Yeah, what's the
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: VIP section of the club sand I think they're named
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: after the Ray, after Raves. I'll have a rave sandwich
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: club sandwich. It must be from like an old country
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: club or something.
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: Now I want to go to a club and pass
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: out club sandwiches.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: The hottest people in the world rolling on a eating turkey.
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: Club mayonnaise on their face.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: Well, I feel great about this new product. I don't know.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: I think you should work it into this and pre
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: workout into your daily resident.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: I was this is like an embarrassing thing to say loud,
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: but I was trying to take creatine for a small
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: minute because I was told it was good. I want
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: to clarify for your brain. There's a ton of science
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: about it being good for your brain. But then my
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: doctor said, my kidney, My kidneys are something going wrong there.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: I thought this coincides with taking creatine.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: That would make sense. I mean, now, what am.
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: I supposed to do? My brain's just supposed to atrophy.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: I guess so only game in town.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: That's that was the only thing I've ever taken as
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: like a supplement and it's been taken from me.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: What did you feel like you had material benefits from
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: it or was it more just preventative.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: I think just preventative, Yeah, I mean anything that it
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: was doing. I did not feel outside of apparently it
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: harming my kidneys, but that may have been something else maybe,
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: so I might toy with it again in the future.
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: I had a weird thing where I got I was
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: sick and nothing was like fixing it, uh huh. And
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: I took a blood test and I got a phone
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: call where the lady at the blood test lab was like,
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: I don't do this. We aren't supposed to call people
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: who but you need to go to the hospital because
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: like normal whatever some level, some kidney level, Like she's
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: like a normal number is twenty seven and you have
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: eleven hundred ooh. And so I had to go to
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: the hospital. And I spent like two weeks with like
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: at Cedar SINAI, with like one of some of the
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: best infectious disease people in the country, trying to figure
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: out what was wrong with me and not Shay. They didn't.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: They were like, you have some virus that we don't
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: have a name for, and we're you're lucky it's going away,
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: because otherwise we couldn't do anything.
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: You could have been a star if you had gotten
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: that virus. Yeah, what a missed opportunity for you.
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: Wow, that's my MTV meter would have shot up.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: You would have been in at least top thousands for sure.
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: I what was I going to say about this? Something
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: about oh, this person saying oh, we don't usually do this.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: It's like, wait, you saw an alarming number and you
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: what do you usually do?
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: They're just they're supposed to let doctors do that, and
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: like tell the doctors.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: I feel like if there's an extremely scary number, there
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: should be some protocol. It's like, well, maybe we let
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: the person know.
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: I agree, But then you get into the weird like well,
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: what where's the line?
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: I was so far over those But.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: For her for going rogue, yeah, she probably lost her job.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: You owe that woman a.
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: Lot, Owe her so much. She's calling me all the time.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: Begging for me, how you saved you?
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: What have you done with it?
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: I do feel like public service announcement. My brother just
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: found out he has Celiac disease, and his doctor basically
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: wouldn't let him. He was like, no, you shouldn't take
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: the test for that. For over a year, my brother
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: was about to have his gallbladder. Sorry this shit man, Yeah,
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: my brother was about to have his gall bladder removed,
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: and they were like, no, it's fine. And my brother
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: finally took this test and they're like, oh, your number
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: is at five hundred. It's supposed to be five or below.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: So I don't what are doctors doing.
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: I think doctors. Look, I don't want to get into
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: all so rogan thing here, but doctors increasingly have become
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: your go between for Google, like because it's like eighty
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: percent of the time that like this applies, and I
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: don't want to do the like extra workup stuff. I mean.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: The thing that I think occurs to you as you
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: get older is that like you realize, like the professionals
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: in your life that's their job, and they might be
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: bad at their job, so it might be like don't
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: maybe don't do your own research, maybe just go to
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: another doctor.
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: I'm not anti doctor, but I do think there's like
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: a culture of doctors being like, you know, what's that
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: thing when they uh, you hear hoof beats its horses,
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: not zebras or whatever. Oh, I've never heard this lie,
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: and sometimes it's fucking zebras, And you've got to account
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: for the like five percent of times.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: So that's something to kind of say, stop worrying. Yeah,
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: and if you hear your doctors say that, maybe find
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: another doctor, because why are they using this fokesy phrase.
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: Oh you're kind of like a docy what lost the
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: car or whatever?
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: She drives off in his wagon.
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: Sweating and sallow.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: No. I like my doctor. If anyone needs a doctor,
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: Doctor Paccino is very good. Doctor Piccino has been very
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: good to me. Okay, but I have had some bad
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: doctors the past. My first really bad experience with the
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: doctor was over a televisit. I still don't trust a television.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: I like it at all.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: I need a human being to touch me in some
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: way because otherwise I just don't believe that they really
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: know what's going on.
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: I think there's also a psychological aspect of like a
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: doctor has touched.
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: Me truly, Like I think there is a little bit
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: of the sugar pill aspectum it or something that's like, uh, yeah,
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: I don't do a televisit at all anymore.
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: Do you ever do a televisit and the doctor has
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: like the fake background of like a living room behind them?
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, that would be horrible.
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: I did not care for this at all.
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: Which you know, it should be a busy hospital scene
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: or like a lab with all the colorful liquids and beakers.
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: Give me, yeah, a white wall with like a jar
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: of tongue depressors, yes, exactly. I don't want to see
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: a fucking like Creighton barrel.
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: Behind No, no, no, no.
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: I did not care for it.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: Wow, or one of they should have one of those
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: weird AI backgrounds that you see all the time that's
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: like a cozy cabin, but like there's something very uncanny
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: about a.
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: Weird cafe with snowfalling out d exactly.
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: The thing. I've started looking at those more closely. I'm like,
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: what here is something that a human being would not
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: think is normal? And usually there'll be like a fireplace
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: that's like so separate from the rest of the house,
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: that's like next to a lake, but it's a regular fireplace.
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: It's like, I know, a computer thought that's a cozy
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: thing next to a beautiful thing. But that's not mechanically
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: or engineering wise. That doesn't make any sense.
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: Like this, this is gonna be the stop say either,
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: they're kind of fun, puzzle way of these things is
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: just a nightmare.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, well I've done my smelling songs. I finally, I
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: think this was the first time I've ever been peer
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: pressured into doing anything really yeah, pretty, let's see. I'm
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: trying to think back. If there's anybody's never peer pressured me,
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: I don't think they have. I'm very strong.
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry if I I don't like the idea of
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: peer pressuring you, I do again these games we play.
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: Put me on camera and you can get me to
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: do anything the same. Was there anything left to say
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: about smelling salts?
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: I think everyone should try them. Really fun. Yeah, here's
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: the thing. I went to the again, I know how
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: like Browie and Millennial, I'm coming off on this. When
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: I went to LCD sound System.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: And I was James Murphy come.
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: In like I saw the wallpaper. I think this is
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: a millennial friendly environment. And I was on mushrooms and
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: we had smelling salts, and I did a smelling salt
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: when the chorus of North Americans come it, and I
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: don't think I've ever felt better in my entire life.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: You got in hymns dot com. You were ordering bombas.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: In my Alberts writing for Obama writing him in.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: No, that sounds like a nice time, it does. That
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: sounds like a perfectly fine time. Where were you seeing them?
• 55:01
  Speaker 3: The Bowl?
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: Oh? At the bowl?
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: Was that with Pulp?
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: I wanted to see Pulp so bad?
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: Was great? Pulpe did this thing. What's the guy's name,
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: I can't remember, Jarvis Cock Starvis Cocker did this thing
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: that I was like, Uh. He was like, I like
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: to I'm going to try something that I've never done before,
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: because he was throwing grapes at people in the audience,
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: and so I'm gonna throw it up in the air
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: and see if I can catch it. I've never caught
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: it before. I was like, this motherfucker catches it every night.
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: And then he caught it in his mouth and the
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: whole place goes crazy.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: I was like, Yeah, that's he's the coolest man a lot.
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: Show personship right there.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: If anyone has a chance to see Pulp live and
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: you haven't done it, you absolutely must. If Jarvis reach out, oh,
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: that sounds wonderful, but I ultimately because I'm cheap and
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: just don't like leaving the house, I did not go.
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: I also don't like this was my like, let's experiment
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: with leaving the house.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: And also the Hollywood Bowl, getting in and getting out
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: of it is such a huge pain that.
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: You just got to know going in that this is
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: going to be an unpleasant experise.
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: That's real. Sure, I want to be helicoptered in'd be great,
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: all right, and as not the performer being.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: Helicopter Fucking drones everywhere they should have one. We just
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: have a little like a little like harness hanging off
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: of a drone take.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: Of Indiana Jones style.
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: I mean, most people will die screaming, but it would
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: be really cool to just get taken place that's.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: Kind of like a Mary Poppins thing. It should have
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: an umbrella that you hold onto the bottom and it takes.
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: It's just on your core strength, whether you live or not.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: I'm willing to try it.
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: I look someone coming down on like an umbrella with
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: like sixty drones attached to.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, there's certainly a drone that can carry
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: a human weight. I'm true, right, I've seen. The closest
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: I've seen to that is Donnie Osmond entering by helicopter,
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: dangling from a rope into what was known as the
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: Stadium of Fire. This is something that takes place in
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: Utah every year.
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: Wait, state, ifi are a location or an event.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: It's an event on the fourth of July. Light up
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: the night on the fourth of children, Light up the
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: sky on the fourth of July.
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: That's part of the nice sounding. Yeah, stadium fire is
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: like a circle of hell.
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: It sounds like like the White Snake thing. Wait was
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: it White Snake? What was the thing where the club
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: started on fire and everybody died?
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: Uh? White, Great White, Great White.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: Oh and great White. That's the name of the restaurant
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: that's had some racist allegations here in Los Angeles.
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: I want, I can't imagine why.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: But Stadium of Fire does sound like it was like
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: a tragic catastrophe, or.
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: Like it's in like the Book of Revelations when the
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: Stadium of Fire is ignited.
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: This six headed beast enters by helicopter into the Stadium
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: of Fire.
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: Donny Osmond by anti Christ. You look, he's charismatic. He's
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: a little bit rock and roll. The two things I
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: know about him.
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: A funny rumor I've heard about Donnie Osmond was that,
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: like in the eighties, he was trying to revamp his image.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: And I don't know if this is true or not,
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: but Michael Jackson told him he should change his name
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: to Viper Viper Osmond.
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: Ah, what a mind that would be.
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: Can you imagine you pictured Donnie Osmond and then like
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: next to the name Viper doesn't make a ton of
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: not at.
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: Oh it's also funny to imagine Donnie wasn't going to
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: Michael Jackson for advice on how to be like broadly
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: likable when, like Michael Jackson's popularity is an insane accident
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: topped up insane talent.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, but it's not like a blueprint. No no, no, no, no, no.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: One should follow whatever was going on there. That's a
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: path to some tough situations. I think we should play
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: a game. We're going to play a game called Gift Master.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: But I need a number between one and ten from you. Six, Okay,
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: I have to do Oh I'm looking at these caps again.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: What do they call the Angel Guardian cap? I got
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: to close the window. I need a number. I was
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: ignoring you completely.
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, what number six?
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: I have to do some like calculating to get our
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: game pieces. I'm starting to realize that these smelling salts
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: have done something.
• 58:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're a little peppy.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: So while I'm doing my calculating, promote, recommend do whatever
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: you want.
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: So.
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: I have a show that I created coming out on Netflix.
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: It's an animated show called strip Law. It is about
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: lawyers in Las Vegas and it is just a hard
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: adult animation comedy. It stars Adam Scott and Janelle James
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: and Steven Root and Shannon Heizella. Probably a million of
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: your former guests are voices on the show. Pretty much
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: any funny improv person in La has been a voice
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: on the show. Yeah. The writing staff was so great.
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: And it's just if you like joke and I know
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: if you like Bridger, I know you like joke a
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: minute stuff because he has worked on some of the
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: best and this is just a joke machine gun animated
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: comedy and comes out February twentieth on Netflix. And if
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: you like Bridger, I think you will like it.
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry, I'm taking forever because I'm high.
• 59:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, I've ruined him. This cut to six months, You're
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: like breaking stuff like where's my goddamn smelling salts?
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, everybody go watch Strip Law on Netflix. Colin is
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: the best joke writer I am aware of, and no
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: one is more concerned about things being funny than Colin Crawford.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: Almost to a fault, probably, Colin wrote I think probably
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: when Twitter wasn't Hell my favorite tweet, and I tried
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: to look it up recently, tried to find it anywhere
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: online and wasn't able to which was so depressing. And
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: I won't even read. I won't even say it aloud
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: here because it was someone you kind of had to
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: look at.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's also hard to, you know, recount a tweet.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: Yes, but I will say I had something to do
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: with both Glenn Close and Ellen Burston.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: You want to know it, because I do know that one.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: I'm not you can you repeat it?
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: Yes? It is a quote that starts close to Burston.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 3: I'm close to Burston. That's the quote, and it's attributed
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: to Glenn Close telling Ellen Burston she really needs to
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: pee over walkie talk.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: I should be printed something. Someone put that on your
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: grave or something.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 3: I like to imagine its dialogue from a movie where
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: they're motorcycling across America.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: And they haven't pulled over yet.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: Yes, which I honestly sounds like a great movie.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Oh it's amazing. I'm close to burst, so thank you
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: so much.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: He're the funniest.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: But please go watch. We need people watching funny things
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: more than ever.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: If I can give you old Netflix dirt too, oh please.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm supposed to tell people this.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: There's a thing you can do on Netflix where you
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 3: can give something a thumbs up or a thumbs down
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: or two thumbs up, and two thumbs up apparently is
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: really important.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: How do you do that? And why don't they tell
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: people about that? I'm sure know.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: How to do that. I think it's on like the
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: show page.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: Maybe okay, but it was.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: It was expressed to me. The two thumbs up really
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: good to get two thumbs upright, one thumbs up. It's
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: bad for you to get one thumbs up. It's worse
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 3: than no thumbs.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: Then they should, like, they should send you to a
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: night class to learn these things before you can use Netflix.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: I agree, because if that matters in any way, they're
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: not letting people know. Yes, I'm not doing anything.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: And probably shouldn't tell people, but please give us two
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: thumbs up. You have so much more power on Netflix
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: than you might think you you really do.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: It's maybe more than you should. Ultimately, I think that
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: maybe somebody else should be stepping and having taste what will? Yeah,
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: but what are you going to do? Okay? Everyone give
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: two thumbs up to strip Law Watch, strip Law Review
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: this podcast. Do something to support the thing that.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: You care about. Buy some smelling salts.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: And I've got If you do nothing else today, buy
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: smelling salts and become addicted to them. Okay, this is
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: how we play gift Master. I'm going to name three gifts,
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: three things you can give away that I'm going to
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: name three celebrities, and you're going to tell me which
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: gift you would give to which celebrity. And why does
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: that make perfect sense?
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: That makes it perfect sense? Why I need to pick a.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: Number Because I had to do random picking to get
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: our game pieces, Okay, because I have a document that
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: looks like it's created by something someone with something wrong
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: with them, and so I have to get into that
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: and do it. Okay, So the gifts you'll be giving
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: away are number one a deep sea fishing excursion that's nice.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: Number two a three piece luggage set, and number three
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: and early grave. Okay, okay, okay, you'll be giving them
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: to Christian Bale, Yao Ming, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: Okay, perfect. So I have to doom one of these
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 3: people to death. How are we defining early that's up
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: to you. Okay. So I don't want to kill any
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: of these people. I like all these people. I should
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: probably kill Sabrina because she's fictional, but I'm not going to.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: I would give the early grave to Yao Ming only
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: because I like Yao Ming. I think he's very personal.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 3: I like watching him play basketball. Because of his size,
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: he's doomed to an early grave. Probably.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, he's very tall, and this will be one thing
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: I have on all of my tall friends.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: I get to so at least this way the greatest.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: Pads right right, and he's I feel like he's probably done.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: He's lived his most golden years as an excellent basketball player.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: He's probably a little bored now anyway.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I'm sure his life is quality of life
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: is probably not there anymore. He's like a god in China.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: I believe he's but he's gotten to live fifty lives already.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, so he's probably far burns brightest. He could burns quickest.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: If you ask him, he'd probably say I'm okay dying.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: I'm sure he would.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: I'm paying him as most depressed person.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 3: For no reason. Everyone, whatever social media you have, reached
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: out to Yao ming and ask him if he's okay,
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: and all your friends reach out to your friends for
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: Sabrina the Tea. No, I'm going to Christian Bale next. Okay,
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: He's getting the deep sea fishing excursion, absolutely, because I
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: think it would be really funny to see him deal
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: with it. I think either he'd really love it and
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: get really into it or would be like cussing up
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 3: a store kind of short fuse. Yeah, he'd have trouble
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: with all the equipment. He'd have to like have conversations
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 3: with like fishing men, which would be really fun to experience.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: It's hard to think he's like because he's a former
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: child star, like you think of him as kind of
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: like a tough person or whatever, but I think he's
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 2: probably pretty soft.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: He's a theater boy.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like a little British theater guy.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 3: I mean I think about that all the time, about
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: every every actor, and I love actors. If we love him,
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 3: is someone who decided it was a good idea to
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: try and be world famous, which is.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: Like, I mean, like that's especially the thing with when
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: somebody is leader of a country. You think, oh, so
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: there is something wrong with you. Yes, exactly, your brain
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: is crazy.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: You rolled the dice on. I should be in front
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: of everything.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, I should control everything.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: So yeah, actors, we love them, right, we love them folks.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm sending him deep sea fishing, I think,
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: because like deep sea fishing guys, I feel like are
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 3: a very certain subset. Oh yeah, of people.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: Oh absolutely. I'm surprised he hasn't been in a movie
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: a deep sea fisherman yet.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: It feels like a thing where he would have to
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: drastically gain or lose some type of weight.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: He's going up against. Uh what's this fuck from Boston? Uh?
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: Oh uh?
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 3: Every single time?
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: Who was in the ship the boat the boatman?
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 3: Mark mcculbery, Mark McCom.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 2: I work in this industry, Mark, Trying to name celebrities
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: is my number one.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: We need more. My brain's going okay.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: So he's going on this gorgeous sea fishing fishing. That
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: would I have to assume, like the North Atlantic. Yes,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: you know, it's got to be dark, cold, perfect wavy.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 3: Although he might like that Christian Bale in a tropical environment.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 3: It's fun.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Christian goes tropical.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah he's marlin fishing.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: Or yeah, no, I think he's in he's maybe he's
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: in the Baltic Sea. I feel like the Baltic Sea
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: an interesting deep.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: Sea for this, and start to some accents, and then
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: so I guess i'd be giving luggage to Sprita the
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 3: Teenage Witch. I got no reasoning for this.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: She needs at least of all.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's a witch, so you could just transport things.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: No, witch needs luggage.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 3: That old saying that my doctor said to me, you know,
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 3: like a witch with luggage. I like the talking cat
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 3: on that show.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what was his name? His name was to give
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: the yeah Witch's cat. Yeah, because the cat, Yeah, this
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 2: kind of traumatic name. Yeah, he was the wise talking
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: Did they have that cat in the dramatic reboot of
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: I would imagine there's like a nod to it. Maybe
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: the cat says.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: Like I don't like a nod address generational trauma or something.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: No, there should be a cat that's kind of got
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: quips and wise cracks.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 3: I thought that cat I was like as a kid,
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: I was like, that cat is the funniest person on earth. Like,
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 3: whoever voices that cat should be a household name. Honestly,
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 3: if you're out there and you voice the cat, hit
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 3: me up. If we get a season two strip Loaf.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: The cat should be a series raging.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: He should be dropping in on other shows.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: That should join the Legal Office.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 3: Salem host SNL. There was that big White House dot gov.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: Petition, Well you played the game perfectly, no one can complain, And.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: I asked, do you have an answer to this?
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 2: Dum oh, Let's see how I would feel about this.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: You know, my initial thought was I don't want to
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 2: kill anybody. Well I do. There are people, real people
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 2: I want to kill, but not these three. I don't
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: want to kill Yaoming or Christian Bale. I would have
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: obviously said early Grave, Sabrina and the teenage Witch. But
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: I do like the idea of having to choose between
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: these two real men, and I would probably say an
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: early grave. I would probably give to Christian Bale. Yeah,
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: I and not because I don't like him or I
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 2: don't think he's a good and I've seen his ribcage.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: I've seen it all. But I feel like, you know,
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: as an actor, there are diminishing returns. He's probably getting frustrated.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: He's probably not getting he's pasted. Just for him, it's
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: kind of a Sunset Boulevard situation. He's kind of wandering
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: around a mansion ready to kill a journal I mean,
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: he should probably have an early grave before someone ends
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 2: up floating in his pool, and then I would give
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: I feel like Yao Ming probably doesn't think. He's probably
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: traveling all the time and probably hasn't like upgraded his
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: luggage in his while, I feel like he's the sort
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: of person who, it doesn't do a lot of fancy stuff.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he kind of probably takes a little bit of pride.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, I think that he's kind of, you know, a
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: penny pincher, and so he deserves a nice set of luggage.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: There is a difference because I only buy the bad ones,
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 2: so I know that if you've got a good one
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: and he's you know, he's NBA Royalty, and then that
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: would give Sabrina this deep sea fishing extraction.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 3: Which kind of fucks the whole thing. Does she need
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: fixcursions go?
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 2: That chip is going to be loaded with fish. It's
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: going to be raining fish onto it.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: Maybe though it's like kind of like it's about the
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: experience for her, right like you know, we don't we
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: do it because it's hard.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: She wants to feel human exactly kind of a celebrity
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: feel well. We both played it perfectly, we did. Okay,
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: we should answer a listener question people are sending in
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: voice notes or emails to I said no gifts at
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: gmail dot com. Listener. The voice notes should be sixty
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: seconds long or shorter. Shorter is always better, and they
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: should be in a space that doesn't sound like you're
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 2: out on the freeway or falling down the stairs. Ellis,
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: do we have a question?
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 6: Let's hear it, Dear Bridger Ellison, well mannered guest. I
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 6: have a friend who said she would do this favor
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 6: for me over a week ago, but she still hasn't
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 6: done it. It's not a dire situation or anything, but
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 6: I would still like it for it to be done.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 6: I reminded her twice already, and I'm concerned that a
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 6: third time might be too many reminders. I don't know,
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 6: what do you think? What should I do? Thanks in advance?
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, well I'm immediately not on this person's side at all.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: I was going to say, this is why I hate
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 3: personal relationship.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: Over a week ago, that's nothing. What I usually wait
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: about six months before maybe reminded.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 3: So I was a little glazed over. Does that mean
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 3: two reminders have come in within a week?
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: Within like I would say probably ten days? Sounds like,
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: is that right, Alice? Yes? Okay, so this person is
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: a nuisance.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 3: This is let's say type a person.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: No, this person's a problem person.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 3: I can say, I know how the other side of
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 3: this is here, right because I am this person? Or
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 3: the more you ask, the more I'm gonna be avoiding
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 3: about this fucking thing and just be like, oh, let's
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 3: just watch this leg rot Like.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: But then, what's the solution for this person? I mean,
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: I think that they started off way too hot. I
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 2: think they should have waited at least three weeks.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, What is the favorite.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: Is obviously like if my house is on fire, maybe
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: you are a little bit more urgent.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: Like cat sitting or whatever.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: Right, But it's not urgent enough that they were able
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: to send in a voice note to a podcast.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 3: So yeah, so you're right three weeks at.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: Least, Right, then what's the next step.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 3: Though I'm doing one reminder and I'm doing a mail text,
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 3: I'm doing it in a way of like the fake
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 3: like reach out or whatever.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: Right, this is kind of my method of an unrelated thing.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: To give you the chance before I have to like
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 3: tide you.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 2: Maybe they've just forgotten about my existence entirely. So if
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 2: I can get to that point, maybe they'll remember the
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: thing that a coffee, right.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 3: And then they're like, oh, hey, by the way, that
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 3: thing that you asked.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: I'm not ready to do it?
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, Am I supposed to be giving like unhinted
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: advice or you.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: Can tell you can give any advice you want. And
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: I think that in this situation you have to be
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: careful though. You don't want to say you want to
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: get a coffee, because what if you don't like them
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 2: and you just want to use them.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 3: Well that is a huge problem. So if you're just send.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: Yes exactly, they should be there to be used. So
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: if you're if you were to say do you want
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: to get coffee and they say yes, and they don't
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 2: do the favor. Now you're trapped getting a coffee with
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: someone you just wanted to use.
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 3: That is true, but you never know what other ammunition
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 3: Quean from the conversation. That's true. I also think this
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 3: person does want to use them because they do seem
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 3: more concerned about the favor than the friends.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 3: The question wasn't how do I like navigate this in
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: a way that like saves my friends?
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 2: Right? That doesn't matter.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 3: How do I get the faith?
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 2: Right? This person is dispensable. I just need one last
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 2: thing from them. Uh yeah, So there's just gotta be
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 2: a way to remind them, basically, like try to jog
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: their memory a bit like sending a topless photo or
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: driving by their house honking.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 3: I like to leave a pumpkin with a knife in
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 3: it outside of parents house.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what the parents house.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 3: Really.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 2: That's a soft way of doing it.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 2: I just think that if you ask for a favor,
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: there's a there's probably at least a two week span
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 2: that the person the bus for that they get to
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: do it in.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 3: Can I ask you, do you have any outstanding favors
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 3: like this?
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: I owe Yeah, well, I made the mistake recently of
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: telling two different people I read their movie scripts, not
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 2: just even a thirty page script, movie scripts, and I
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 2: want to read both of them.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 3: I don't want to read. And you sit down and
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 3: you read, like and you're just.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 2: Like, oh, Usually I won't even download the file. I'll
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 2: just like open it in preview in my inbox and
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 2: look at it and just be like, oh no. Then
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: I just and.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 3: It's never that bad even it's just the act of
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 3: doing it.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 2: Yes, I could spend the next four hours just kind
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 2: of like wasting my life. Instead, I choose that I
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: have at least those two.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 3: Four scripts are making me realize I said I would read.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: But outside of that, I don't think I'm pretty good
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: at Like, if it doesn't require something with my computer,
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: the favor will probably get done pretty quickly.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 3: Interesting, But if it's something.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: Where like I can get distracted by some other thing online,
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: it probably will never.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: Also, like a favor that's like an act of service.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, it feels so much better.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 3: Than like, can you help me get a job? You
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 3: put me in contact with this person. This is usually
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 3: what the favors.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 2: I'll paint your fence or something exactly, I'll clean then
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 2: it stops being about you, you annoying loser. So I
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: think the solution here is you failed. Yes, you failed
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 2: this favor. You've got to find another friend to burn
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: through basically, And actually that's not a bad idea because
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: if that person does it, then you can let the
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: other person know, oh hey, this person did it, and
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: then this person feels like absolute shit and you get
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 2: to talk shit, yes.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 3: With that person about the other person, which is their
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 3: reward for doing the thing.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: Everyone learns a lesson soft power. I love to teach lessons,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: So that's perfect. Well, we answered the question perfectly.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 3: I hope that she stopped complaining. He never writes.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: Back in never bothers me again. I now have my
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: smelling salts that have altered my mood and a floy
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: that I did not maybe.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 3: Even like a larger timeline alteration for you.
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is the new me. This is the beginning
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 2: of a real downhill slide for Bridger Winder.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 3: Papers.
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 2: Colin. I've had such a wonderful time with you.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 3: I've had a wonderful time with you.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 2: Thank you for being here, and listener, I can't actually
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 2: say you should try smelling salts. That feels like the
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 2: beginning of some sort of lawsuit that will devastate me
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: and the network. So don't do smelling salts. Is there
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: anything else I have to say? This is the end
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 2: of the podcast, and we just talked about sending in
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 2: voice notes. Elis told me that I should tell people
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 2: at the end of the podcast to remind you to
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 2: do things as well, send voice notes, send emails, review
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 2: the podcast by merch. Apparently people start paying attention at
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: the end of the podcast.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 3: The most tune in.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: That's what I've been told. It's over, Cony. You gotta
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: get this cad.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 3: I'm getting his many millennial references like that.
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 2: For every podcast listen to, we give one to somebody
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: else in another nation or something. The podcast is over.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: exactly right production. Our senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 2: our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. The theme
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 2: song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 2: the show on Instagram at I said No Gifts, That's
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 2: where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 2: gifts I'm getting, And don't you want to see the gifts.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 3: I invit? Did you hear?
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: Funa man myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to me,
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests,
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: your presences, presents, and I'm already had mud stop. So
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: how do you dare to surbey me?