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Kids Who Go No Contact - Navigating Stories of Estrangement · Other Peoples Parenting

• 0:00
  Hello,
• 0:00
  everyone.
• 0:01
  Welcome
• 0:02
  back
• 0:02
  to
• 0:02
  another
• 0:03
  episode
• 0:03
  of
• 0:03
  Other
• 0:04
  People's
• 0:04
  Parenting,
• 0:05
  where
• 0:05
  we
• 0:06
  read
• 0:06
  parenting
• 0:07
  books
• 0:07
  and
• 0:07
  review
• 0:08
  them
• 0:08
  for
• 0:08
  you.
• 0:09
  I'm
• 0:09
  Skylar
• 0:10
  Hurwitz,
• 0:10
  amateur
• 0:11
  parent,
• 0:11
  and
• 0:11
  this
• 0:11
  is
• 0:12
  my
• 0:12
  mom,
• 0:12
  Karen
• 0:13
  Quinn,
• 0:13
  New
• 0:13
  York
• 0:13
  Times
• 0:14
  best
• 0:14
  selling
• 0:14
  author
• 0:15
  and
• 0:15
  founder
• 0:16
  of
• 0:16
  Habit
• 0:16
  Coach
• 0:17
  and
• 0:17
  Testing
• 0:17
  Mom.
• 0:18
  Hello,
• 0:18
  mom.
• 0:19
  Hi,
• 0:19
  Skylar.
• 0:20
  Are
• 0:20
  you
• 0:20
  excited
• 0:21
  for
• 0:21
  our
• 0:21
  final
• 0:21
  episode
• 0:22
  of
• 0:22
  the
• 0:22
  season?
• 0:22
  I
• 0:23
  am.
• 0:23
  I
• 0:23
  really
• 0:24
  am.
• 0:24
  Can
• 0:24
  you
• 0:25
  believe
• 0:25
  a
• 0:25
  full
• 0:26
  season
• 0:26
  of
• 0:27
  under
• 0:27
  our
• 0:27
  belt?
• 0:28
  I
• 0:28
  know.
• 0:29
  I
• 0:29
  feel
• 0:29
  really
• 0:29
  good
• 0:30
  about
• 0:30
  that.
• 0:30
  Me
• 0:30
  too.
• 0:31
  It
• 0:31
  was
• 0:31
  fun.
• 0:31
  It
• 0:31
  was
• 0:32
  fun.
• 0:32
  I've
• 0:33
  had
• 0:33
  the
• 0:33
  best
• 0:33
  time.
• 0:34
  And
• 0:34
  good
• 0:34
  news
• 0:34
  to
• 0:35
  our
• 0:35
  listeners.
• 0:36
  We
• 0:36
  have
• 0:36
  been
• 0:37
  renewed.
• 0:38
  Yay.
• 0:40
  So
• 0:40
  all
• 0:40
  excited.
• 0:41
  Fabulous
• 0:42
  support
• 0:43
  and
• 0:43
  tuning
• 0:43
  in
• 0:44
  has
• 0:45
  given
• 0:45
  our
• 0:45
  higher
• 0:46
  ups
• 0:46
  enough
• 0:46
  confidence
• 0:47
  that
• 0:47
  we
• 0:48
  can
• 0:48
  have
• 0:48
  at
• 0:48
  least
• 0:48
  one
• 0:49
  more
• 0:49
  season.
• 0:49
  Yay.
• 0:50
  So
• 0:51
  a
• 0:52
  couple
• 0:52
  things.
• 0:52
  Just
• 0:53
  a
• 0:53
  couple
• 0:53
  things.
• 0:54
  First
• 0:54
  of
• 0:54
  all,
• 0:55
  um,
• 0:55
  thank
• 0:55
  you.
• 0:56
  Second
• 0:56
  of
• 0:56
  all,
• 0:57
  this
• 0:57
  episode
• 0:58
  is
• 0:58
  gonna
• 0:58
  be
• 0:59
  a
• 0:59
  little
• 0:59
  unusual.
• 1:00
  So
• 1:00
  it's
• 1:00
  gonna
• 1:00
  be.
• 1:01
  If
• 1:01
  you'll
• 1:01
  recall,
• 1:02
  several
• 1:02
  weeks
• 1:02
  ago,
• 1:03
  we
• 1:03
  did
• 1:03
  an
• 1:03
  episode
• 1:03
  covering
• 1:04
  mom
• 1:04
  groups.
• 1:05
  We
• 1:05
  are
• 1:05
  gonna
• 1:06
  be
• 1:06
  doing
• 1:06
  another
• 1:06
  article
• 1:07
  episode
• 1:08
  today,
• 1:08
  but
• 1:08
  this
• 1:09
  one
• 1:09
  is
• 1:09
  a
• 1:09
  bit
• 1:09
  darker.
• 1:11
  This
• 1:11
  one
• 1:11
  is
• 1:11
  about
• 1:11
  going
• 1:12
  no
• 1:13
  contact.
• 1:14
  And
• 1:15
  we
• 1:15
  were
• 1:15
  inspired
• 1:16
  by
• 1:16
  the
• 1:16
  whole
• 1:16
  situation
• 1:17
  from
• 1:17
  a
• 1:18
  couple
• 1:18
  months
• 1:18
  ago
• 1:18
  about
• 1:19
  Brooklyn
• 1:19
  Beckham
• 1:20
  and,
• 1:21
  and
• 1:21
  Nicola
• 1:21
  Pelt
• 1:22
  and
• 1:22
  that
• 1:22
  whole
• 1:22
  family
• 1:23
  drama
• 1:24
  because
• 1:25
  we
• 1:27
  are
• 1:27
  unnaturally
• 1:27
  close
• 1:28
  and
• 1:28
  can't
• 1:29
  fathom
• 1:29
  going
• 1:30
  no
• 1:30
  contact
• 1:31
  with
• 1:31
  our
• 1:31
  families.
• 1:31
  So
• 1:32
  we
• 1:32
  were
• 1:32
  like,
• 1:32
  you
• 1:32
  know
• 1:32
  what,
• 1:32
  why
• 1:32
  don't
• 1:33
  we
• 1:33
  investigate?
• 1:34
  Let's
• 1:34
  talk
• 1:34
  about
• 1:34
  it
• 1:35
  and
• 1:35
  how
• 1:35
  that
• 1:35
  happens.
• 1:36
  Yeah.
• 1:37
  And
• 1:38
  the
• 1:38
  word
• 1:38
  toxic
• 1:39
  you're
• 1:39
  gonna
• 1:40
  hear
• 1:40
  a
• 1:40
  lot
• 1:40
  of
• 1:40
  times,
• 1:41
  so
• 1:41
  brace
• 1:42
  yourself.
• 1:44
  We
• 1:44
  got
• 1:44
  a
• 1:44
  lot
• 1:45
  of
• 1:45
  information.
• 1:45
  We
• 1:46
  are
• 1:46
  focusing
• 1:46
  on
• 1:46
  these
• 1:47
  three
• 1:47
  articles.
• 1:49
  One
• 1:49
  is
• 1:50
  about
• 1:50
  a
• 1:50
  young
• 1:51
  woman
• 1:51
  who
• 1:51
  goes
• 1:52
  no
• 1:52
  contact
• 1:52
  from
• 1:52
  her
• 1:53
  family.
• 1:53
  She
• 1:53
  was
• 1:54
  raised
• 1:54
  in
• 1:54
  a
• 1:54
  religious
• 1:55
  situation.
• 1:57
  One
• 1:58
  is
• 1:58
  about.
• 1:58
  It's
• 1:59
  from
• 1:59
  the
• 1:59
  Times.
• 2:00
  How
• 2:00
  would
• 2:00
  you
• 2:00
  describe
• 2:00
  the
• 2:00
  one
• 2:01
  from
• 2:01
  the
• 2:01
  Times?
• 2:01
  Well,
• 2:02
  the
• 2:02
  Times
• 2:02
  is
• 2:02
  more
• 2:02
  about
• 2:03
  whether
• 2:03
  or
• 2:04
  not
• 2:05
  it's
• 2:06
  good
• 2:06
  therapeutic
• 2:07
  advice
• 2:07
  to
• 2:08
  be
• 2:08
  giving
• 2:09
  people
• 2:10
  to
• 2:10
  go
• 2:10
  no
• 2:10
  contact
• 2:11
  with
• 2:11
  their
• 2:11
  family.
• 2:12
  Like
• 2:12
  whether
• 2:12
  that
• 2:13
  is
• 2:13
  good
• 2:13
  therapy
• 2:14
  or
• 2:14
  not.
• 2:14
  It's
• 2:15
  a
• 2:15
  little
• 2:15
  more
• 2:15
  about
• 2:15
  therapy,
• 2:16
  I
• 2:16
  think,
• 2:16
  than
• 2:17
  the
• 2:17
  first
• 2:17
  one.
• 2:18
  The
• 2:18
  first
• 2:18
  one
• 2:18
  sort
• 2:18
  of
• 2:18
  covers
• 2:19
  the
• 2:19
  subject
• 2:20
  itself,
• 2:21
  how
• 2:21
  it
• 2:22
  works
• 2:22
  and
• 2:23
  what's
• 2:23
  happening
• 2:23
  with
• 2:24
  it.
• 2:24
  And
• 2:24
  that's
• 2:24
  from
• 2:25
  the
• 2:25
  New
• 2:25
  Yorker.
• 2:26
  And
• 2:26
  it
• 2:26
  was
• 2:26
  a
• 2:27
  long
• 2:27
  article,
• 2:27
  as
• 2:27
  was
• 2:28
  the
• 2:28
  one
• 2:28
  in
• 2:28
  the
• 2:28
  New
• 2:29
  York
• 2:29
  Times.
• 2:30
  Yeah,
• 2:30
  the
• 2:30
  one
• 2:30
  in
• 2:30
  New
• 2:31
  Yorker
• 2:31
  was
• 2:31
  long.
• 2:32
  Long.
• 2:32
  I
• 2:32
  found
• 2:33
  them
• 2:33
  all
• 2:33
  very
• 2:34
  interesting.
• 2:34
  And
• 2:34
  then
• 2:34
  the
• 2:35
  third
• 2:35
  article
• 2:35
  we're
• 2:35
  going
• 2:35
  to
• 2:36
  talk
• 2:36
  about
• 2:36
  is
• 2:36
  how
• 2:36
  to
• 2:36
  raise
• 2:37
  adults.
• 2:37
  Because
• 2:38
  adolescence
• 2:39
  seems
• 2:40
  to
• 2:40
  have
• 2:40
  been
• 2:42
  prolonged.
• 2:43
  I
• 2:43
  guess
• 2:43
  they're
• 2:43
  saying.
• 2:43
  New
• 2:44
  research,
• 2:44
  new
• 2:44
  research
• 2:45
  believes
• 2:45
  that
• 2:46
  instead
• 2:46
  of
• 2:46
  adolescence
• 2:47
  ending
• 2:47
  at
• 2:47
  25,
• 2:48
  it
• 2:48
  actually
• 2:48
  ends
• 2:48
  at
• 2:48
  32.
• 2:50
  And
• 2:50
  I'm
• 2:50
  like,
• 2:50
  that's
• 2:51
  Conven.
• 2:52
  Because
• 2:53
  everybody's
• 2:54
  still
• 2:54
  at
• 2:54
  home.
• 2:55
  Right,
• 2:55
  Right.
• 2:56
  There's
• 2:56
  just
• 2:56
  been
• 2:56
  a
• 2:56
  lot
• 2:57
  of
• 2:57
  changes.
• 2:57
  And
• 2:58
  in
• 2:58
  the
• 2:58
  third
• 2:59
  article,
• 3:00
  it's
• 3:00
  more.
• 3:01
  It's
• 3:01
  a
• 3:01
  therapist
• 3:02
  who
• 3:02
  actually
• 3:02
  gives
• 3:03
  advice
• 3:03
  about
• 3:05
  when
• 3:05
  you
• 3:05
  have
• 3:05
  adult
• 3:06
  children,
• 3:06
  how
• 3:06
  do
• 3:06
  you
• 3:07
  raise
• 3:07
  them,
• 3:07
  how
• 3:07
  do
• 3:07
  you
• 3:08
  interact
• 3:08
  with
• 3:08
  them,
• 3:08
  knowing
• 3:09
  that
• 3:09
  they
• 3:09
  aren't
• 3:10
  really
• 3:10
  reaching
• 3:11
  their
• 3:11
  full
• 3:11
  adulthood
• 3:12
  until
• 3:12
  they
• 3:12
  are
• 3:13
  32.
• 3:13
  Which
• 3:14
  makes
• 3:14
  me
• 3:14
  think
• 3:14
  that
• 3:15
  all
• 3:15
  these
• 3:15
  people
• 3:15
  going
• 3:16
  no
• 3:16
  contact
• 3:17
  in
• 3:17
  their
• 3:17
  twenties
• 3:18
  might
• 3:18
  regret
• 3:19
  it
• 3:19
  later
• 3:20
  when
• 3:20
  their
• 3:20
  brain
• 3:21
  fully
• 3:21
  develops.
• 3:22
  Yeah,
• 3:22
  I
• 3:22
  don't
• 3:22
  know.
• 3:22
  Maybe
• 3:23
  I
• 3:23
  don't.
• 3:24
  So.
• 3:25
  So
• 3:25
  interesting,
• 3:26
  because
• 3:27
  the
• 3:27
  biggest
• 3:27
  thing
• 3:27
  I've
• 3:28
  taken
• 3:28
  away
• 3:29
  from
• 3:29
  this
• 3:30
  is
• 3:30
  the
• 3:30
  bar
• 3:31
  for
• 3:31
  no
• 3:31
  contact
• 3:32
  has
• 3:32
  just
• 3:32
  gotten
• 3:33
  very
• 3:34
  low.
• 3:34
  Yes.
• 3:35
  That
• 3:35
  said,
• 3:36
  I
• 3:36
  am
• 3:36
  a
• 3:36
  big
• 3:37
  proponent
• 3:38
  of
• 3:38
  protecting
• 3:39
  your
• 3:39
  peace.
• 3:39
  And
• 3:40
  it's
• 3:40
  like,
• 3:40
  if
• 3:40
  your
• 3:41
  family
• 3:41
  causes
• 3:42
  you
• 3:42
  so
• 3:43
  much
• 3:43
  distress
• 3:44
  that
• 3:44
  you
• 3:44
  cannot
• 3:45
  function
• 3:45
  in
• 3:45
  your
• 3:45
  daily
• 3:45
  life,
• 3:46
  like,
• 3:46
  it's
• 3:46
  beyond.
• 3:47
  Just
• 3:47
  like,
• 3:47
  my
• 3:47
  family
• 3:48
  is
• 3:48
  annoying.
• 3:48
  And
• 3:48
  we
• 3:48
  disagree
• 3:49
  on
• 3:49
  things
• 3:49
  like,
• 3:50
  welcome
• 3:50
  to
• 3:50
  having
• 3:51
  families,
• 3:52
  you
• 3:52
  know.
• 3:52
  Yeah.
• 3:53
  But
• 3:53
  I
• 3:53
  think
• 3:53
  when
• 3:54
  you
• 3:54
  sort
• 3:54
  of
• 3:54
  reach
• 3:54
  a
• 3:55
  point
• 3:56
  where
• 3:56
  you're
• 3:56
  like,
• 3:56
  you
• 3:56
  know,
• 3:57
  I
• 3:57
  cannot
• 3:58
  tolerate
• 3:58
  being
• 3:59
  anywhere
• 3:59
  near
• 3:59
  them.
• 3:59
  I
• 4:00
  cannot
• 4:00
  tolerate
• 4:00
  being
• 4:00
  in
• 4:01
  communication
• 4:01
  with
• 4:01
  them.
• 4:02
  It
• 4:02
  is
• 4:02
  ruining
• 4:03
  my
• 4:03
  life.
• 4:04
  Like,
• 4:04
  how
• 4:05
  do
• 4:05
  we
• 4:05
  get
• 4:05
  there?
• 4:06
  Right,
• 4:06
  right.
• 4:07
  Well,
• 4:07
  and
• 4:07
  we'll
• 4:08
  talk
• 4:08
  about
• 4:08
  it.
• 4:08
  And
• 4:08
  I
• 4:09
  think
• 4:09
  that
• 4:09
  really
• 4:09
  is
• 4:09
  the
• 4:10
  question.
• 4:10
  Where
• 4:10
  do
• 4:10
  you
• 4:11
  get
• 4:11
  to
• 4:11
  that?
• 4:11
  When
• 4:11
  do
• 4:11
  you
• 4:11
  get
• 4:12
  to
• 4:12
  that
• 4:12
  point?
• 4:12
  What
• 4:13
  constitutes.
• 4:14
  What
• 4:15
  constitutes
• 4:15
  so
• 4:16
  bad
• 4:16
  that
• 4:16
  you
• 4:17
  would
• 4:17
  go
• 4:17
  no
• 4:18
  contact?
• 4:18
  Now,
• 4:18
  this
• 4:19
  is,
• 4:19
  barring
• 4:20
  physical
• 4:20
  abuse,
• 4:21
  trigger
• 4:21
  warning,
• 4:22
  sexual
• 4:23
  abuse
• 4:23
  in
• 4:23
  situations
• 4:24
  like
• 4:24
  that,
• 4:25
  100
• 4:25
  million
• 4:26
  percent
• 4:26
  justified.
• 4:27
  I
• 4:27
  think
• 4:27
  if
• 4:27
  that's
• 4:28
  a
• 4:28
  situation,
• 4:29
  some
• 4:29
  people
• 4:30
  can
• 4:30
  get
• 4:31
  past
• 4:31
  that
• 4:31
  and
• 4:32
  work
• 4:32
  through
• 4:32
  it
• 4:32
  with
• 4:33
  their
• 4:33
  families.
• 4:34
  Some
• 4:34
  people
• 4:34
  can't.
• 4:35
  And
• 4:35
  I
• 4:35
  get
• 4:35
  it.
• 4:36
  I
• 4:36
  understand,
• 4:36
  like,
• 4:36
  there
• 4:37
  are
• 4:37
  certain
• 4:37
  things
• 4:37
  that
• 4:37
  are
• 4:38
  just
• 4:38
  like
• 4:39
  a
• 4:39
  bridge
• 4:40
  too
• 4:40
  far.
• 4:40
  Right,
• 4:40
  right.
• 4:41
  You
• 4:41
  know,
• 4:41
  exactly.
• 4:42
  And
• 4:42
  it's
• 4:43
  so
• 4:43
  interesting,
• 4:43
  too,
• 4:43
  learning
• 4:44
  about
• 4:44
  all
• 4:44
  of
• 4:44
  these
• 4:45
  communities
• 4:45
  of
• 4:46
  people
• 4:46
  who
• 4:46
  are
• 4:46
  estranged
• 4:47
  from
• 4:47
  their
• 4:47
  families,
• 4:48
  who
• 4:48
  support
• 4:49
  each
• 4:49
  other,
• 4:50
  and
• 4:50
  sometimes
• 4:51
  I
• 4:51
  think
• 4:53
  maybe
• 4:53
  get
• 4:53
  in
• 4:53
  each
• 4:53
  other's
• 4:54
  way
• 4:54
  a
• 4:54
  little
• 4:54
  bit,
• 4:55
  too,
• 4:55
  because
• 4:56
  maybe
• 4:56
  there
• 4:56
  are
• 4:56
  situations
• 4:57
  where
• 4:57
  they're
• 4:57
  like,
• 4:57
  you
• 4:58
  know,
• 4:58
  I
• 4:58
  am
• 4:58
  considering,
• 4:59
  like,
• 4:59
  reconciling.
• 5:00
  Like,
• 5:00
  maybe
• 5:00
  the
• 5:01
  problematic
• 5:01
  parent
• 5:02
  is.
• 5:02
  Has
• 5:03
  passed
• 5:03
  away.
• 5:03
  Or,
• 5:04
  you
• 5:04
  know,
• 5:04
  maybe
• 5:05
  it's
• 5:05
  a
• 5:05
  situation.
• 5:06
  A
• 5:06
  lot
• 5:06
  of
• 5:06
  these
• 5:06
  situations
• 5:07
  come
• 5:07
  from
• 5:07
  divorce,
• 5:08
  is
• 5:08
  what
• 5:08
  it
• 5:09
  seems
• 5:09
  like.
• 5:09
  And
• 5:10
  maybe
• 5:10
  the
• 5:10
  problematic
• 5:11
  step
• 5:11
  parent
• 5:11
  is
• 5:12
  out
• 5:12
  of
• 5:12
  the
• 5:12
  picture.
• 5:13
  And
• 5:13
  I
• 5:14
  just
• 5:14
  wonder
• 5:15
  if,
• 5:15
  like,
• 5:16
  it's
• 5:17
  sort
• 5:17
  of.
• 5:17
  It's
• 5:17
  sort
• 5:18
  of
• 5:18
  that.
• 5:19
  That
• 5:19
  old
• 5:19
  saying,
• 5:20
  like,
• 5:20
  misery
• 5:20
  loves
• 5:21
  company.
• 5:21
  And
• 5:22
  it
• 5:22
  sort
• 5:22
  of
• 5:22
  seems
• 5:22
  in
• 5:22
  some
• 5:23
  of
• 5:23
  these
• 5:23
  Reddit
• 5:23
  groups,
• 5:23
  shout
• 5:24
  out,
• 5:24
  Reddit,
• 5:24
  we
• 5:24
  love
• 5:24
  you,
• 5:25
  Reddit,
• 5:27
  that
• 5:27
  when
• 5:28
  somebody
• 5:28
  wants
• 5:28
  to
• 5:28
  reconcile,
• 5:29
  there
• 5:30
  are
• 5:30
  situations
• 5:30
  where
• 5:30
  the
• 5:31
  group
• 5:31
  sort
• 5:31
  of
• 5:31
  jumps
• 5:32
  in
• 5:32
  and
• 5:32
  is
• 5:32
  like,
• 5:32
  Absolutely
• 5:33
  not.
• 5:33
  Right.
• 5:34
  And
• 5:34
  treats
• 5:35
  it
• 5:35
  almost
• 5:35
  like
• 5:35
  a
• 5:35
  betrayal,
• 5:36
  like
• 5:36
  with
• 5:36
  your
• 5:36
  abuser.
• 5:37
  Are
• 5:37
  you
• 5:37
  kidding?
• 5:38
  Yeah.
• 5:38
  Yeah.
• 5:39
  So
• 5:39
  there's
• 5:39
  a
• 5:39
  lot
• 5:39
  of
• 5:39
  nuances
• 5:40
  to
• 5:40
  this
• 5:40
  whole
• 5:41
  topic.
• 5:41
  Yeah.
• 5:42
  Which
• 5:42
  article
• 5:42
  should
• 5:43
  we
• 5:43
  start
• 5:43
  with?
• 5:43
  Oh,
• 5:43
  well,
• 5:44
  let's
• 5:44
  start
• 5:44
  with
• 5:44
  the
• 5:45
  New
• 5:45
  Yorker
• 5:46
  article.
• 5:47
  Okay.
• 5:47
  Okay.
• 5:48
  So
• 5:48
  this
• 5:48
  is
• 5:49
  the
• 5:49
  story
• 5:49
  of
• 5:49
  Amy.
• 5:50
  Amy
• 5:51
  grew
• 5:51
  up
• 5:52
  in
• 5:52
  a
• 5:52
  very
• 5:53
  religious
• 5:54
  household.
• 5:54
  She
• 5:55
  was
• 5:55
  homeschooled.
• 5:56
  She
• 5:57
  was
• 5:57
  brought
• 5:57
  up
• 5:57
  by
• 5:57
  evangelical
• 5:58
  parents.
• 5:59
  She
• 5:59
  had
• 5:59
  several
• 6:00
  siblings,
• 6:01
  a
• 6:01
  couple
• 6:01
  brothers
• 6:02
  and
• 6:02
  a
• 6:02
  sister.
• 6:03
  And
• 6:04
  her
• 6:04
  whole
• 6:04
  life
• 6:04
  she
• 6:05
  was
• 6:05
  pretty
• 6:05
  sheltered
• 6:06
  is
• 6:06
  what
• 6:06
  it
• 6:06
  sounds
• 6:06
  like.
• 6:07
  And
• 6:08
  was
• 6:08
  basically
• 6:09
  mostly
• 6:10
  taught
• 6:10
  that
• 6:10
  the
• 6:11
  Bible
• 6:11
  was
• 6:12
  literal
• 6:13
  and
• 6:13
  everything
• 6:13
  that
• 6:14
  happened
• 6:14
  in
• 6:14
  it
• 6:14
  is
• 6:14
  a
• 6:15
  fact.
• 6:16
  And
• 6:16
  there
• 6:16
  is
• 6:16
  no
• 6:16
  deviating,
• 6:17
  there
• 6:17
  is
• 6:18
  no
• 6:18
  interpretation.
• 6:19
  This
• 6:19
  is
• 6:19
  what
• 6:19
  it
• 6:19
  is.
• 6:20
  And
• 6:20
  then
• 6:20
  she
• 6:21
  went
• 6:21
  to
• 6:21
  a
• 6:21
  college
• 6:21
  that
• 6:21
  was
• 6:22
  actually
• 6:22
  a
• 6:23
  religious
• 6:23
  college
• 6:24
  from
• 6:24
  what
• 6:25
  I
• 6:25
  understand.
• 6:27
  But
• 6:27
  she
• 6:27
  was
• 6:27
  no
• 6:28
  longer
• 6:28
  living
• 6:28
  under
• 6:29
  her
• 6:29
  parents
• 6:29
  roof
• 6:30
  and
• 6:30
  she
• 6:30
  was
• 6:30
  exposed
• 6:31
  to
• 6:31
  some
• 6:31
  ideas
• 6:32
  that
• 6:33
  she
• 6:34
  was
• 6:34
  like,
• 6:35
  huh,
• 6:35
  this
• 6:35
  is
• 6:35
  interesting
• 6:36
  because
• 6:36
  this
• 6:36
  is
• 6:36
  very
• 6:36
  different
• 6:37
  from
• 6:37
  what
• 6:37
  I
• 6:37
  have
• 6:37
  been
• 6:38
  taught.
• 6:39
  For
• 6:39
  example,
• 6:40
  you
• 6:40
  know,
• 6:40
  she
• 6:41
  had
• 6:41
  this
• 6:41
  idea
• 6:42
  that,
• 6:42
  that
• 6:43
  maybe
• 6:43
  her
• 6:43
  family
• 6:43
  was
• 6:44
  misinterpreting,
• 6:45
  you
• 6:45
  know,
• 6:46
  verses
• 6:46
  from
• 6:47
  the
• 6:47
  Bible.
• 6:47
  And
• 6:48
  she's
• 6:48
  like,
• 6:48
  oh,
• 6:48
  oh
• 6:48
  my
• 6:49
  God.
• 6:49
  When
• 6:49
  I
• 6:49
  explain
• 6:50
  this
• 6:50
  to
• 6:50
  them,
• 6:50
  they'll
• 6:51
  be
• 6:51
  like,
• 6:51
  oh,
• 6:51
  my
• 6:51
  God,
• 6:51
  you're
• 6:52
  right.
• 6:52
  Yeah,
• 6:53
  like,
• 6:53
  oh,
• 6:53
  of
• 6:53
  course.
• 6:54
  We
• 6:54
  just
• 6:54
  misunderstood.
• 6:55
  And
• 6:56
  she
• 6:56
  really
• 6:56
  gave
• 6:57
  them
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  benefit
• 6:57
  of
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  doubt.
• 6:58
  And
• 6:59
  she
• 7:00
  comes
• 7:00
  home,
• 7:01
  she
• 7:01
  presents
• 7:02
  what
• 7:02
  she's
• 7:02
  learned,
• 7:03
  and
• 7:04
  they
• 7:04
  completely
• 7:05
  reject
• 7:05
  it.
• 7:05
  Right.
• 7:06
  And
• 7:06
  they
• 7:06
  tell
• 7:06
  her
• 7:07
  she's
• 7:07
  going
• 7:07
  to
• 7:07
  go
• 7:07
  to
• 7:07
  hell.
• 7:07
  Yeah.
• 7:08
  And
• 7:08
  she,
• 7:08
  I
• 7:09
  mean,
• 7:09
  I
• 7:09
  think
• 7:09
  when
• 7:09
  you're
• 7:09
  brought
• 7:10
  up
• 7:10
  in
• 7:10
  a
• 7:10
  religious
• 7:10
  situation,
• 7:11
  and
• 7:11
  that
• 7:11
  is
• 7:12
  always
• 7:12
  sort
• 7:12
  of
• 7:13
  painted
• 7:13
  as
• 7:13
  the
• 7:13
  absolute
• 7:14
  worst,
• 7:14
  worst
• 7:15
  possible
• 7:15
  outcome.
• 7:16
  And
• 7:16
  then
• 7:16
  your
• 7:16
  own
• 7:17
  mother
• 7:17
  says
• 7:17
  this
• 7:18
  to
• 7:18
  you,
• 7:18
  I
• 7:19
  think
• 7:19
  that
• 7:19
  that
• 7:21
  deeply
• 7:21
  affects
• 7:22
  you.
• 7:22
  Right.
• 7:23
  But
• 7:23
  that
• 7:23
  isn't
• 7:23
  the
• 7:23
  thing
• 7:23
  that
• 7:24
  made
• 7:24
  her
• 7:24
  go,
• 7:24
  no
• 7:24
  contact.
• 7:25
  No.
• 7:25
  Yeah,
• 7:26
  no,
• 7:26
  that
• 7:26
  was
• 7:26
  later.
• 7:27
  So
• 7:28
  she
• 7:28
  finds
• 7:29
  out
• 7:29
  later
• 7:29
  on
• 7:30
  that
• 7:30
  her
• 7:30
  mom,
• 7:32
  her
• 7:32
  parents
• 7:32
  together
• 7:33
  wrote
• 7:33
  her
• 7:34
  school
• 7:34
  a
• 7:34
  letter.
• 7:35
  And
• 7:36
  in
• 7:36
  the
• 7:36
  letter
• 7:36
  they
• 7:36
  were
• 7:37
  basically
• 7:37
  like,
• 7:37
  listen,
• 7:38
  we
• 7:38
  don't
• 7:39
  like
• 7:39
  the
• 7:39
  things
• 7:39
  that
• 7:40
  you've
• 7:40
  taught
• 7:40
  her.
• 7:41
  You
• 7:41
  have
• 7:41
  changed
• 7:42
  her.
• 7:42
  You
• 7:42
  have,
• 7:43
  you
• 7:43
  have
• 7:44
  put
• 7:44
  these
• 7:44
  ideas
• 7:45
  in
• 7:45
  her
• 7:45
  head
• 7:45
  that
• 7:46
  fundamentally
• 7:47
  grapple
• 7:48
  with
• 7:48
  everything
• 7:49
  we
• 7:49
  believe
• 7:49
  and
• 7:49
  have
• 7:50
  taught
• 7:50
  you
• 7:50
  her
• 7:51
  and
• 7:52
  go
• 7:52
  against
• 7:53
  our
• 7:53
  ideology.
• 7:54
  You
• 7:54
  know,
• 7:55
  she
• 7:55
  starts
• 7:55
  to
• 7:55
  like,
• 7:56
  learn
• 7:56
  about
• 7:57
  feminism
• 7:57
  and
• 7:58
  like
• 7:58
  women's
• 7:59
  rights
• 8:00
  and
• 8:01
  other
• 8:01
  things
• 8:01
  that
• 8:01
  for
• 8:02
  whatever
• 8:02
  reason,
• 8:02
  her
• 8:03
  parents
• 8:03
  fundamentally
• 8:04
  disagree
• 8:04
  with.
• 8:05
  And
• 8:05
  then
• 8:06
  I'm
• 8:06
  skipping
• 8:06
  ahead
• 8:06
  a
• 8:07
  fair
• 8:07
  bit.
• 8:07
  But
• 8:07
  then
• 8:08
  we
• 8:08
  get
• 8:08
  to
• 8:08
  her
• 8:08
  wedding,
• 8:09
  right?
• 8:10
  And
• 8:10
  she
• 8:10
  finds
• 8:11
  this
• 8:11
  young
• 8:12
  Jewish
• 8:12
  social
• 8:13
  worker,
• 8:13
  they
• 8:14
  fall
• 8:14
  in
• 8:14
  love
• 8:16
  and
• 8:16
  her
• 8:17
  fiance
• 8:18
  really
• 8:18
  thinks,
• 8:19
  like,
• 8:19
  really
• 8:20
  believes
• 8:20
  that
• 8:20
  there
• 8:21
  can
• 8:21
  be
• 8:21
  reconciliation
• 8:22
  between
• 8:23
  her
• 8:23
  and
• 8:23
  her
• 8:23
  family.
• 8:24
  At
• 8:24
  this
• 8:24
  point.
• 8:24
  They
• 8:24
  hadn't
• 8:25
  Gone
• 8:25
  completely.
• 8:25
  No
• 8:26
  contact.
• 8:26
  But
• 8:27
  I
• 8:27
  think
• 8:27
  she
• 8:27
  realized,
• 8:28
  you
• 8:28
  know,
• 8:28
  I
• 8:29
  am
• 8:29
  so
• 8:29
  fundamentally
• 8:30
  different
• 8:30
  from
• 8:30
  my
• 8:30
  parents,
• 8:31
  and
• 8:31
  this
• 8:32
  isn't
• 8:32
  an
• 8:32
  agree
• 8:33
  to
• 8:33
  disagree
• 8:33
  situation.
• 8:34
  You
• 8:35
  know,
• 8:35
  they
• 8:36
  are
• 8:36
  looking
• 8:36
  at
• 8:37
  my
• 8:37
  life
• 8:37
  and
• 8:37
  my
• 8:37
  lifestyle
• 8:38
  and
• 8:38
  condemning
• 8:39
  me.
• 8:39
  Right.
• 8:40
  For
• 8:40
  it.
• 8:40
  Right.
• 8:41
  And
• 8:42
  so
• 8:43
  the
• 8:44
  pandemic
• 8:44
  happens,
• 8:45
  and
• 8:45
  vaccines
• 8:46
  are
• 8:46
  a
• 8:46
  very
• 8:46
  hot
• 8:47
  button
• 8:47
  thing.
• 8:48
  Right.
• 8:48
  And
• 8:48
  because
• 8:49
  of
• 8:49
  their
• 8:49
  ideological
• 8:50
  beliefs,
• 8:50
  they
• 8:50
  refuse
• 8:51
  to
• 8:51
  get
• 8:51
  vaccinated.
• 8:52
  And
• 8:53
  she
• 8:53
  says
• 8:53
  in
• 8:53
  very
• 8:54
  plain
• 8:54
  language,
• 8:54
  listen,
• 8:55
  our
• 8:56
  wedding,
• 8:56
  it
• 8:56
  was
• 8:57
  in
• 8:57
  September
• 8:57
  of
• 8:57
  2021,
• 8:59
  so
• 8:59
  the
• 8:59
  pandemic
• 9:00
  was
• 9:00
  still
• 9:00
  very
• 9:00
  much
• 9:01
  happening.
• 9:02
  And
• 9:02
  she's
• 9:03
  like,
• 9:03
  we
• 9:03
  are
• 9:03
  not
• 9:03
  having
• 9:04
  unvaccinated
• 9:05
  people
• 9:05
  at
• 9:05
  our
• 9:05
  wedding.
• 9:05
  That
• 9:06
  is
• 9:06
  simply
• 9:06
  just
• 9:06
  not
• 9:06
  what
• 9:07
  we're
• 9:07
  doing.
• 9:08
  So
• 9:08
  if
• 9:08
  it
• 9:08
  means
• 9:09
  enough
• 9:09
  to
• 9:09
  you
• 9:10
  to
• 9:10
  be
• 9:10
  at
• 9:11
  this
• 9:11
  important
• 9:11
  thing
• 9:12
  in
• 9:12
  my
• 9:13
  life,
• 9:13
  as
• 9:13
  you
• 9:13
  say
• 9:13
  it
• 9:14
  does,
• 9:14
  you
• 9:15
  will
• 9:15
  do
• 9:15
  this
• 9:15
  one
• 9:15
  very
• 9:16
  basic
• 9:16
  thing.
• 9:17
  And
• 9:17
  they
• 9:17
  refuse.
• 9:18
  Right,
• 9:18
  right.
• 9:19
  They
• 9:19
  did
• 9:19
  stream
• 9:20
  the
• 9:20
  wedding
• 9:20
  so
• 9:21
  they
• 9:21
  could
• 9:21
  watch
• 9:21
  it
• 9:21
  if
• 9:21
  they
• 9:22
  didn't
• 9:22
  want
• 9:22
  to
• 9:22
  get
• 9:22
  vaccinated,
• 9:23
  but
• 9:23
  it
• 9:23
  was
• 9:24
  that
• 9:24
  that
• 9:24
  really
• 9:24
  broke
• 9:25
  them
• 9:25
  apart.
• 9:25
  Yeah.
• 9:26
  And
• 9:26
  one
• 9:26
  brother
• 9:27
  did
• 9:28
  get
• 9:28
  vaccinated
• 9:29
  and
• 9:29
  came
• 9:29
  to
• 9:29
  the
• 9:29
  wedding
• 9:30
  and
• 9:30
  gave
• 9:30
  them
• 9:30
  a
• 9:30
  gift
• 9:31
  from.
• 9:31
  From
• 9:31
  the
• 9:31
  family.
• 9:32
  Right,
• 9:32
  right.
• 9:33
  So
• 9:33
  there
• 9:33
  was
• 9:33
  a
• 9:34
  gesture
• 9:34
  of,
• 9:35
  like
• 9:35
  an
• 9:35
  olive
• 9:36
  branch.
• 9:36
  Yeah,
• 9:37
  yeah.
• 9:38
  And
• 9:38
  I
• 9:39
  thought
• 9:39
  this
• 9:39
  was
• 9:39
  an
• 9:39
  interesting
• 9:40
  quote.
• 9:41
  One
• 9:41
  of
• 9:41
  her
• 9:41
  professors,
• 9:42
  who
• 9:43
  knew
• 9:43
  about
• 9:43
  this
• 9:43
  whole
• 9:44
  situation
• 9:44
  because
• 9:44
  of
• 9:44
  the
• 9:44
  letter
• 9:45
  that
• 9:45
  you're
• 9:45
  talking
• 9:46
  about,
• 9:46
  he
• 9:47
  says,
• 9:47
  you
• 9:47
  know,
• 9:48
  he
• 9:48
  knows
• 9:48
  about
• 9:49
  the
• 9:49
  estrangement.
• 9:49
  He
• 9:49
  hopes
• 9:50
  it
• 9:50
  will
• 9:50
  improve.
• 9:50
  He
• 9:51
  says
• 9:51
  Amy's
• 9:52
  estrangement
• 9:52
  was
• 9:52
  an
• 9:53
  estrangement
• 9:53
  in
• 9:53
  worldviews,
• 9:54
  in
• 9:55
  ideas.
• 9:55
  She
• 9:56
  wasn't
• 9:56
  beaten
• 9:56
  as
• 9:56
  a
• 9:57
  child.
• 9:57
  She
• 9:57
  wasn't
• 9:57
  neglected.
• 9:58
  She
• 9:58
  was
• 9:58
  loved.
• 9:59
  And
• 9:59
  as
• 9:59
  best
• 9:59
  as
• 10:00
  her
• 10:00
  parents
• 10:00
  could
• 10:00
  love
• 10:00
  her,
• 10:01
  they
• 10:01
  tried
• 10:01
  to
• 10:01
  love
• 10:01
  her.
• 10:02
  I
• 10:02
  don't
• 10:02
  see
• 10:03
  it
• 10:03
  as
• 10:03
  her
• 10:03
  parents
• 10:04
  did
• 10:04
  any
• 10:04
  harm
• 10:04
  to
• 10:05
  her.
• 10:06
  So
• 10:06
  I
• 10:06
  hope
• 10:06
  that
• 10:07
  somehow
• 10:07
  she
• 10:08
  can
• 10:08
  forgive
• 10:08
  them
• 10:08
  in
• 10:09
  years
• 10:09
  to
• 10:09
  come.
• 10:09
  But
• 10:09
  right
• 10:10
  now,
• 10:10
  they're
• 10:10
  estranged,
• 10:10
  or
• 10:11
  at
• 10:11
  least
• 10:11
  at
• 10:11
  the
• 10:11
  time
• 10:11
  of
• 10:11
  the
• 10:12
  article.
• 10:14
  And
• 10:14
  so
• 10:15
  that
• 10:15
  was
• 10:15
  sort
• 10:16
  of
• 10:16
  the.
• 10:16
  This
• 10:16
  is
• 10:16
  what
• 10:17
  they
• 10:17
  presented
• 10:17
  at
• 10:17
  the
• 10:17
  beginning.
• 10:18
  And
• 10:18
  then
• 10:18
  they
• 10:18
  start
• 10:18
  to
• 10:19
  talk
• 10:19
  about
• 10:19
  family
• 10:20
  estrangement
• 10:21
  and
• 10:22
  how
• 10:22
  in
• 10:23
  the
• 10:23
  past,
• 10:23
  this
• 10:24
  is
• 10:24
  where
• 10:24
  family
• 10:25
  members
• 10:25
  become
• 10:26
  purposefully
• 10:27
  strangers
• 10:28
  to
• 10:28
  each
• 10:28
  other.
• 10:29
  And
• 10:29
  it
• 10:29
  was
• 10:29
  really
• 10:29
  stigmatized
• 10:31
  in
• 10:31
  the
• 10:31
  past,
• 10:31
  but
• 10:32
  people
• 10:32
  are
• 10:32
  trying
• 10:33
  to
• 10:33
  normalize
• 10:33
  it
• 10:33
  now
• 10:34
  so
• 10:34
  that
• 10:35
  those
• 10:35
  in
• 10:35
  unhealthy
• 10:36
  relationships
• 10:37
  can
• 10:37
  get
• 10:37
  out
• 10:37
  of
• 10:38
  those
• 10:38
  relationships
• 10:39
  without
• 10:39
  feeling
• 10:39
  shame.
• 10:41
  And
• 10:41
  there's
• 10:42
  a
• 10:42
  lot
• 10:42
  of
• 10:42
  anecdotal
• 10:43
  evidence
• 10:44
  now
• 10:44
  that
• 10:44
  more
• 10:45
  and
• 10:45
  more
• 10:45
  young
• 10:45
  people
• 10:46
  are
• 10:46
  cutting
• 10:46
  out
• 10:47
  their
• 10:47
  parents,
• 10:48
  or
• 10:48
  it's
• 10:48
  possible
• 10:49
  maybe
• 10:49
  more
• 10:50
  people
• 10:50
  are
• 10:50
  just
• 10:51
  being
• 10:52
  vocal
• 10:53
  about
• 10:53
  it,
• 10:54
  but
• 10:54
  online,
• 10:54
  it
• 10:55
  has
• 10:55
  totally
• 10:55
  exploded.
• 10:56
  I
• 10:56
  mean,
• 10:57
  it's
• 10:57
  everywhere
• 10:58
  online.
• 10:59
  Some
• 10:59
  of
• 10:59
  the
• 10:59
  Reddit
• 11:00
  groups
• 11:00
  have
• 11:00
  like
• 11:00
  100,000
• 11:02
  members
• 11:04
  yeah.
• 11:05
  And
• 11:06
  so
• 11:06
  they
• 11:06
  talk
• 11:06
  in
• 11:07
  this
• 11:07
  article,
• 11:07
  they
• 11:07
  talk
• 11:08
  about
• 11:09
  different
• 11:09
  reasons.
• 11:10
  They
• 11:10
  bring
• 11:11
  in
• 11:11
  therapists.
• 11:12
  A
• 11:13
  therapist
• 11:13
  describes
• 11:16
  family
• 11:16
  estrangement
• 11:17
  as
• 11:17
  intentional
• 11:18
  distancing
• 11:19
  between
• 11:19
  at
• 11:19
  least
• 11:19
  two
• 11:20
  family
• 11:20
  members
• 11:21
  because
• 11:21
  of
• 11:21
  a
• 11:21
  negative
• 11:22
  relationship
• 11:23
  or
• 11:23
  a
• 11:23
  perception
• 11:24
  of
• 11:24
  one.
• 11:25
  And
• 11:25
  it
• 11:25
  could
• 11:25
  be
• 11:26
  based
• 11:26
  on
• 11:26
  many
• 11:27
  grievances
• 11:27
  over
• 11:28
  time
• 11:28
  of
• 11:28
  the
• 11:28
  way
• 11:29
  your
• 11:29
  parents
• 11:30
  treated
• 11:30
  you,
• 11:31
  or
• 11:31
  like
• 11:32
  in
• 11:32
  Amy's
• 11:32
  case,
• 11:33
  it
• 11:33
  was
• 11:33
  something.
• 11:34
  A
• 11:34
  lot
• 11:34
  of
• 11:34
  things.
• 11:34
  And
• 11:35
  then
• 11:35
  ultimately
• 11:35
  it
• 11:36
  was
• 11:36
  one
• 11:36
  thing.
• 11:36
  Yeah.
• 11:37
  But
• 11:37
  that
• 11:37
  also,
• 11:38
  you
• 11:38
  know,
• 11:38
  there
• 11:38
  are,
• 11:39
  you
• 11:39
  know,
• 11:40
  LGBTQ
• 11:41
  children
• 11:41
  who
• 11:42
  come
• 11:42
  out
• 11:42
  and
• 11:42
  their
• 11:43
  parents
• 11:43
  just
• 11:43
  reject
• 11:43
  them.
• 11:44
  Yeah.
• 11:44
  I
• 11:45
  think
• 11:45
  scenarios
• 11:45
  like
• 11:46
  that
• 11:46
  where
• 11:46
  your
• 11:47
  families
• 11:48
  reject
• 11:48
  who
• 11:49
  you
• 11:49
  fundamentally
• 11:50
  are,
• 11:51
  especially
• 11:51
  when
• 11:51
  it's
• 11:52
  something
• 11:52
  that
• 11:52
  probably
• 11:52
  took
• 11:53
  quite
• 11:53
  a
• 11:53
  lot
• 11:53
  of
• 11:53
  courage
• 11:54
  and
• 11:54
  to
• 11:55
  say,
• 11:55
  listen,
• 11:55
  like,
• 11:56
  this
• 11:56
  is
• 11:56
  who
• 11:56
  I
• 11:56
  am.
• 11:57
  I
• 11:57
  want
• 11:57
  to
• 11:57
  live
• 11:57
  as
• 11:58
  I
• 11:58
  am.
• 11:58
  I
• 11:59
  don't
• 11:59
  want
• 11:59
  to
• 11:59
  pretend
• 12:00
  anymore.
• 12:01
  And
• 12:01
  your
• 12:01
  parents
• 12:02
  reject
• 12:02
  you.
• 12:03
  I
• 12:03
  think
• 12:03
  that
• 12:04
  the
• 12:04
  experience
• 12:04
  of
• 12:05
  that
• 12:05
  rejection
• 12:05
  is
• 12:06
  probably
• 12:07
  so
• 12:07
  devastating,
• 12:08
  I
• 12:09
  would
• 12:09
  think.
• 12:09
  I
• 12:09
  would
• 12:10
  think
• 12:10
  that's.
• 12:10
  And
• 12:10
  that
• 12:10
  is
• 12:11
  a
• 12:11
  reason
• 12:11
  to
• 12:11
  go.
• 12:11
  No
• 12:12
  contact.
• 12:13
  I
• 12:13
  would
• 12:13
  understand
• 12:13
  that.
• 12:14
  Yeah.
• 12:14
  Psychologically,
• 12:15
  I
• 12:15
  mean,
• 12:15
  I.
• 12:15
  I
• 12:16
  imagine
• 12:16
  that
• 12:16
  takes
• 12:16
  quite
• 12:17
  a
• 12:17
  lot
• 12:17
  to
• 12:17
  recover
• 12:17
  from.
• 12:18
  And
• 12:18
  I.
• 12:18
  I
• 12:18
  think
• 12:19
  when
• 12:19
  in
• 12:20
  situations
• 12:20
  like
• 12:20
  that
• 12:21
  where,
• 12:21
  like,
• 12:21
  seeing
• 12:21
  or
• 12:21
  speaking
• 12:22
  to
• 12:22
  your
• 12:22
  parents
• 12:22
  is
• 12:22
  like,
• 12:23
  re.
• 12:23
  Traumatizing
• 12:24
  you
• 12:24
  every
• 12:24
  time.
• 12:25
  Yeah.
• 12:26
  Listen,
• 12:26
  you
• 12:27
  protect
• 12:28
  your
• 12:28
  peace.
• 12:29
  Right,
• 12:30
  Right.
• 12:31
  But,
• 12:32
  you
• 12:32
  know,
• 12:32
  it's.
• 12:35
  One
• 12:35
  of
• 12:35
  the
• 12:35
  therapists
• 12:36
  said,
• 12:36
  you
• 12:36
  know,
• 12:36
  we
• 12:36
  always
• 12:37
  support
• 12:37
  people
• 12:37
  who
• 12:38
  leave
• 12:38
  a
• 12:38
  bad
• 12:38
  relationship,
• 12:39
  but
• 12:40
  we're
• 12:40
  kind
• 12:40
  of
• 12:40
  obsessed
• 12:41
  with
• 12:41
  biology
• 12:42
  that
• 12:43
  we're
• 12:43
  told,
• 12:43
  family
• 12:44
  is
• 12:44
  forever.
• 12:45
  You
• 12:45
  know,
• 12:46
  blood
• 12:46
  is
• 12:46
  thicker
• 12:46
  than
• 12:47
  water.
• 12:48
  You
• 12:48
  have
• 12:48
  to
• 12:49
  try
• 12:49
  to
• 12:49
  fight
• 12:49
  for
• 12:49
  your
• 12:49
  family.
• 12:50
  I
• 12:50
  mean,
• 12:50
  the
• 12:50
  Ten
• 12:51
  Commandments,
• 12:51
  honor
• 12:52
  thy
• 12:52
  mother
• 12:52
  and
• 12:52
  father.
• 12:53
  You
• 12:53
  know,
• 12:53
  it's
• 12:54
  such
• 12:54
  a.
• 12:54
  Even
• 12:54
  when
• 12:55
  they
• 12:55
  suck.
• 12:56
  Yeah,
• 12:56
  pretty
• 12:57
  much.
• 12:57
  Well,
• 12:58
  that'.
• 12:58
  That's
• 12:58
  how
• 12:58
  it
• 12:58
  has
• 12:58
  always
• 12:59
  been
• 12:59
  until
• 13:00
  now.
• 13:00
  People
• 13:00
  are
• 13:00
  saying,
• 13:00
  wait
• 13:01
  a
• 13:01
  minute,
• 13:01
  maybe
• 13:01
  not
• 13:02
  so
• 13:02
  much
• 13:02
  all
• 13:02
  the
• 13:03
  time.
• 13:03
  Yeah.
• 13:04
  And
• 13:04
  then
• 13:05
  people.
• 13:05
  Yeah,
• 13:05
  this
• 13:05
  sort
• 13:06
  of
• 13:06
  like
• 13:06
  a
• 13:06
  blind
• 13:08
  doing
• 13:08
  this
• 13:09
  is
• 13:09
  being
• 13:09
  questioned.
• 13:10
  Right,
• 13:11
  right.
• 13:12
  And,
• 13:13
  you
• 13:14
  know,
• 13:14
  I
• 13:14
  know
• 13:15
  some
• 13:15
  people,
• 13:15
  some
• 13:16
  parents,
• 13:16
  and
• 13:16
  we'll
• 13:16
  get
• 13:16
  into
• 13:17
  how
• 13:17
  parents
• 13:17
  feel
• 13:17
  about
• 13:18
  this.
• 13:18
  But
• 13:19
  I've
• 13:19
  known,
• 13:20
  like,
• 13:20
  at
• 13:20
  least
• 13:20
  three
• 13:22
  sets
• 13:22
  of
• 13:22
  parents
• 13:23
  whose
• 13:23
  kids
• 13:23
  went
• 13:23
  no
• 13:24
  contact
• 13:24
  with
• 13:24
  them.
• 13:25
  And,
• 13:25
  you
• 13:26
  know,
• 13:26
  look,
• 13:26
  I
• 13:27
  don't
• 13:27
  know
• 13:27
  what
• 13:27
  happened
• 13:27
  in
• 13:27
  their
• 13:28
  families.
• 13:28
  And.
• 13:30
  But
• 13:30
  these
• 13:31
  were
• 13:31
  nice
• 13:31
  people,
• 13:32
  in
• 13:32
  my
• 13:32
  opinion.
• 13:33
  I
• 13:33
  mean,
• 13:33
  these
• 13:33
  were
• 13:34
  great
• 13:34
  people,
• 13:34
  all
• 13:35
  of
• 13:35
  them.
• 13:36
  Maybe
• 13:36
  they
• 13:36
  were
• 13:37
  overbearing.
• 13:37
  Maybe.
• 13:38
  I
• 13:38
  don't
• 13:38
  think.
• 13:39
  I
• 13:39
  don't
• 13:39
  think
• 13:39
  there
• 13:40
  was
• 13:40
  abuse.
• 13:40
  I
• 13:40
  think
• 13:41
  there
• 13:41
  was.
• 13:42
  Their
• 13:42
  kids
• 13:43
  felt
• 13:43
  that
• 13:43
  they
• 13:44
  had,
• 13:44
  for
• 13:44
  whatever
• 13:45
  reason.
• 13:45
  I
• 13:45
  don't
• 13:46
  even
• 13:46
  know
• 13:46
  the
• 13:46
  reasoning.
• 13:47
  And
• 13:47
  they
• 13:48
  never
• 13:48
  understood
• 13:49
  why
• 13:49
  their
• 13:50
  kids
• 13:50
  went
• 13:50
  no
• 13:51
  contact
• 13:51
  with
• 13:51
  them.
• 13:51
  Exactly.
• 13:52
  Yeah.
• 13:52
  And
• 13:53
  it's
• 13:53
  crazy.
• 13:53
  In
• 13:54
  one
• 13:54
  of
• 13:54
  the
• 13:54
  Articles
• 13:54
  and
• 13:54
  the
• 13:55
  one
• 13:55
  written
• 13:56
  in
• 13:56
  the
• 13:56
  Times.
• 13:57
  The.
• 13:57
  There's
• 13:57
  a
• 13:58
  therapist
• 13:58
  who
• 13:58
  basically,
• 13:59
  like,
• 13:59
  this
• 13:59
  is
• 13:59
  his
• 13:59
  bread
• 14:00
  and
• 14:00
  butter.
• 14:00
  Yeah.
• 14:01
  Where
• 14:01
  he
• 14:02
  helps
• 14:02
  people
• 14:02
  go,
• 14:03
  no
• 14:03
  contact.
• 14:04
  And
• 14:04
  really
• 14:04
  encourages
• 14:05
  it.
• 14:06
  And
• 14:07
  he
• 14:07
  like,
• 14:07
  tells
• 14:08
  people,
• 14:08
  you
• 14:08
  write
• 14:08
  a
• 14:09
  letter,
• 14:09
  but
• 14:09
  you
• 14:09
  give
• 14:10
  no
• 14:10
  explanation.
• 14:11
  Which
• 14:12
  I'm
• 14:12
  like,
• 14:12
  whoa,
• 14:13
  that
• 14:13
  is
• 14:14
  ice
• 14:15
  cold.
• 14:16
  Right.
• 14:16
  You
• 14:17
  know,
• 14:17
  because
• 14:17
  it's
• 14:17
  like,
• 14:17
  then
• 14:18
  there's
• 14:18
  no
• 14:18
  closure.
• 14:19
  There's
• 14:19
  no
• 14:19
  idea.
• 14:20
  Right.
• 14:21
  And
• 14:21
  it.
• 14:21
  I
• 14:21
  mean,
• 14:22
  situations
• 14:22
  like
• 14:23
  that,
• 14:23
  like,
• 14:23
  listen,
• 14:23
  you
• 14:23
  do
• 14:23
  what
• 14:24
  you
• 14:24
  need
• 14:24
  to
• 14:24
  do.
• 14:24
  But
• 14:25
  situations
• 14:25
  like
• 14:26
  that
• 14:26
  almost
• 14:26
  make
• 14:26
  me
• 14:26
  feel
• 14:27
  like
• 14:27
  it's
• 14:27
  like
• 14:27
  a
• 14:28
  group
• 14:28
  think
• 14:29
  situation.
• 14:29
  Like
• 14:29
  someone
• 14:29
  has
• 14:30
  joined
• 14:30
  a
• 14:30
  cult
• 14:30
  and
• 14:30
  they've
• 14:31
  got
• 14:31
  no
• 14:31
  contact
• 14:32
  because
• 14:32
  their
• 14:33
  mind
• 14:33
  is
• 14:34
  being.
• 14:36
  Their
• 14:36
  brain
• 14:36
  is
• 14:36
  being
• 14:37
  washed.
• 14:37
  Yeah,
• 14:38
  maybe.
• 14:38
  I
• 14:39
  mean,
• 14:39
  right.
• 14:40
  When
• 14:40
  they
• 14:40
  get
• 14:40
  part.
• 14:41
  To
• 14:41
  be
• 14:41
  part
• 14:41
  of
• 14:41
  that
• 14:41
  group.
• 14:42
  Well,
• 14:42
  and
• 14:43
  then
• 14:43
  when
• 14:43
  people
• 14:44
  go,
• 14:44
  no
• 14:44
  contact.
• 14:45
  This
• 14:45
  was
• 14:45
  in
• 14:45
  the
• 14:46
  New
• 14:46
  Yorker
• 14:46
  article.
• 14:47
  They
• 14:47
  describe
• 14:48
  different
• 14:48
  feelings.
• 14:49
  Some
• 14:49
  say
• 14:50
  a
• 14:50
  weight
• 14:50
  was
• 14:50
  lifted
• 14:51
  or,
• 14:51
  you
• 14:52
  know,
• 14:52
  who
• 14:52
  you
• 14:52
  are
• 14:52
  now,
• 14:53
  or
• 14:53
  life
• 14:53
  becomes
• 14:54
  easier.
• 14:54
  I'm
• 14:55
  so
• 14:55
  happy.
• 14:56
  Or
• 14:56
  some
• 14:56
  say
• 14:56
  I'm
• 14:57
  sad,
• 14:58
  but
• 14:58
  my
• 14:58
  life
• 14:58
  at
• 14:59
  least
• 14:59
  has
• 14:59
  less
• 14:59
  anxiety.
• 15:01
  Other
• 15:01
  people
• 15:02
  talk
• 15:02
  about,
• 15:02
  well,
• 15:02
  I
• 15:03
  feel
• 15:03
  freedom,
• 15:04
  but
• 15:04
  sometimes
• 15:04
  I
• 15:05
  doubt
• 15:05
  myself.
• 15:06
  Like,
• 15:06
  I
• 15:06
  wonder,
• 15:07
  did
• 15:07
  I
• 15:07
  invent
• 15:07
  it
• 15:08
  all?
• 15:08
  What
• 15:09
  if
• 15:09
  I
• 15:09
  understood
• 15:10
  wrong?
• 15:10
  What
• 15:10
  if
• 15:11
  they
• 15:11
  meant
• 15:11
  well?
• 15:11
  Like,
• 15:12
  some
• 15:12
  people
• 15:12
  do
• 15:12
  have
• 15:13
  regrets.
• 15:13
  Yeah.
• 15:13
  They're
• 15:14
  not
• 15:14
  sure,
• 15:16
  but
• 15:16
  they.
• 15:16
  They
• 15:17
  find
• 15:17
  these
• 15:17
  forums
• 15:18
  on
• 15:18
  TikTok,
• 15:19
  Reddit
• 15:20
  forum.
• 15:21
  I
• 15:21
  guess
• 15:21
  there's.
• 15:22
  I
• 15:22
  don't
• 15:22
  know.
• 15:22
  Yeah.
• 15:23
  But
• 15:23
  anyway,
• 15:23
  they
• 15:23
  find
• 15:23
  them
• 15:24
  and
• 15:24
  they
• 15:24
  find
• 15:24
  them
• 15:24
  to
• 15:25
  be
• 15:25
  validating
• 15:25
  and,
• 15:26
  and
• 15:27
  which,
• 15:28
  again,
• 15:28
  in.
• 15:28
  In
• 15:28
  situations
• 15:29
  where
• 15:29
  this
• 15:29
  is
• 15:30
  warranted
• 15:30
  and
• 15:30
  justified,
• 15:31
  I
• 15:31
  imagine
• 15:32
  is
• 15:32
  life
• 15:32
  changing.
• 15:33
  Yeah.
• 15:33
  You
• 15:33
  know,
• 15:34
  to
• 15:34
  have
• 15:34
  people
• 15:35
  who
• 15:35
  are
• 15:35
  like,
• 15:35
  listen,
• 15:35
  we
• 15:35
  get
• 15:36
  it.
• 15:36
  We
• 15:36
  experienced
• 15:37
  it.
• 15:37
  We
• 15:37
  know
• 15:37
  it
• 15:37
  is
• 15:38
  complex.
• 15:38
  We
• 15:38
  know
• 15:38
  it
• 15:39
  is
• 15:39
  nuanced.
• 15:40
  You
• 15:40
  know,
• 15:40
  some
• 15:40
  days
• 15:40
  you're
• 15:41
  not
• 15:41
  alone.
• 15:41
  You're
• 15:41
  not
• 15:42
  alone.
• 15:42
  And
• 15:42
  some
• 15:42
  days
• 15:43
  you
• 15:43
  might
• 15:43
  feel
• 15:43
  great
• 15:43
  about
• 15:43
  your
• 15:44
  choice,
• 15:44
  and
• 15:44
  some
• 15:44
  days
• 15:45
  you
• 15:45
  might
• 15:45
  really
• 15:45
  question
• 15:46
  it,
• 15:46
  and
• 15:46
  that's
• 15:46
  normal.
• 15:48
  Does
• 15:48
  your
• 15:48
  child
• 15:49
  struggle
• 15:49
  with
• 15:49
  procrastinating,
• 15:50
  managing
• 15:51
  time,
• 15:51
  staying
• 15:52
  focused,
• 15:52
  forgetting
• 15:53
  things,
• 15:53
  organizing,
• 15:54
  planning,
• 15:55
  studying,
• 15:56
  or
• 15:56
  staying
• 15:56
  off
• 15:56
  their
• 15:57
  screens?
• 15:58
  If
• 15:58
  these
• 15:58
  challenges
• 15:59
  sound
• 15:59
  familiar,
• 16:00
  Habit
• 16:00
  Coach
• 16:00
  can
• 16:01
  help
• 16:01
  our
• 16:01
  coaches
• 16:02
  teach
• 16:02
  kids
• 16:02
  how
• 16:02
  to
• 16:02
  play
• 16:03
  to
• 16:03
  their
• 16:03
  strengths,
• 16:04
  build
• 16:04
  workarounds
• 16:04
  for
• 16:05
  weaknesses,
• 16:05
  and
• 16:05
  develop
• 16:06
  productive
• 16:06
  habits
• 16:07
  that
• 16:07
  stick
• 16:07
  for
• 16:07
  life.
• 16:08
  Research
• 16:09
  shows
• 16:09
  that
• 16:09
  coaching
• 16:10
  works
• 16:10
  and
• 16:11
  the
• 16:11
  Habit
• 16:11
  Coach
• 16:11
  approach
• 16:12
  with
• 16:12
  regular
• 16:12
  coaching
• 16:13
  sessions,
• 16:13
  check
• 16:14
  ins
• 16:14
  and
• 16:14
  parent
• 16:15
  meetings,
• 16:15
  get
• 16:15
  real
• 16:16
  results,
• 16:17
  get
• 16:17
  started
• 16:17
  for
• 16:18
  under
• 16:18
  $10
• 16:19
  a
• 16:19
  month.
• 16:20
  Don't
• 16:21
  let
• 16:21
  another
• 16:21
  day
• 16:21
  go
• 16:22
  by
• 16:22
  without
• 16:22
  getting
• 16:23
  your
• 16:23
  child
• 16:23
  the
• 16:23
  help
• 16:23
  that
• 16:24
  they
• 16:24
  need.
• 16:24
  The
• 16:25
  longer
• 16:25
  you
• 16:25
  wait,
• 16:25
  the
• 16:26
  bigger
• 16:26
  the
• 16:26
  challenges
• 16:26
  become.
• 16:27
  Start
• 16:28
  today@habitcoach.com
• 16:30
  well,
• 16:31
  this
• 16:31
  one
• 16:31
  man
• 16:31
  says
• 16:32
  he
• 16:32
  talks
• 16:32
  about
• 16:33
  how
• 16:33
  he
• 16:33
  wishes
• 16:33
  the
• 16:34
  support
• 16:34
  groups
• 16:34
  would
• 16:35
  be
• 16:35
  more
• 16:35
  helpful
• 16:35
  to
• 16:35
  Those
• 16:36
  who
• 16:36
  are
• 16:36
  unsure
• 16:37
  about
• 16:37
  their
• 16:37
  choices.
• 16:38
  The
• 16:38
  support
• 16:38
  groups
• 16:39
  are
• 16:39
  great
• 16:39
  for
• 16:39
  people
• 16:40
  who
• 16:40
  are
• 16:40
  really
• 16:40
  happy
• 16:41
  about
• 16:41
  going
• 16:41
  no
• 16:41
  contact,
• 16:42
  but
• 16:42
  he's
• 16:43
  unsure.
• 16:43
  He
• 16:43
  doesn't
• 16:44
  want
• 16:44
  to
• 16:44
  be
• 16:44
  estranged.
• 16:45
  Often
• 16:46
  there
• 16:46
  really
• 16:47
  isn't
• 16:47
  a
• 16:47
  good
• 16:48
  reason
• 16:48
  for
• 16:48
  the
• 16:49
  estrangement.
• 16:49
  Just
• 16:50
  many,
• 16:50
  many
• 16:51
  small
• 16:51
  misunderstandings
• 16:52
  that
• 16:53
  add
• 16:53
  up
• 16:53
  to
• 16:53
  something
• 16:54
  big.
• 16:54
  And
• 16:54
  you
• 16:54
  go
• 16:55
  no
• 16:55
  contact.
• 16:55
  It
• 16:56
  feels
• 16:56
  like
• 16:56
  a
• 16:56
  breakup
• 16:56
  where
• 16:57
  it's
• 16:57
  like,
• 16:57
  well,
• 16:57
  no
• 16:57
  one
• 16:57
  cheated.
• 16:58
  No
• 16:58
  one
• 16:58
  did
• 16:58
  this,
• 16:59
  but
• 16:59
  it
• 16:59
  just
• 16:59
  like,
• 17:00
  it
• 17:00
  was
• 17:00
  not
• 17:00
  good.
• 17:01
  It
• 17:01
  was
• 17:01
  not
• 17:01
  right
• 17:01
  anymore.
• 17:02
  Should
• 17:02
  I
• 17:02
  have
• 17:02
  done
• 17:03
  this?
• 17:03
  And
• 17:03
  it
• 17:03
  was
• 17:03
  interesting.
• 17:04
  The
• 17:04
  author
• 17:04
  of
• 17:05
  the
• 17:05
  article
• 17:05
  itself
• 17:06
  said
• 17:06
  it
• 17:06
  was
• 17:07
  such
• 17:07
  a
• 17:07
  hard
• 17:07
  article
• 17:07
  to
• 17:08
  report
• 17:08
  on
• 17:09
  because
• 17:09
  her
• 17:09
  allegiances
• 17:10
  kept
• 17:10
  shifting.
• 17:11
  She
• 17:12
  said
• 17:12
  when
• 17:12
  she
• 17:12
  talked
• 17:13
  to
• 17:13
  adult
• 17:13
  children
• 17:14
  who
• 17:14
  found
• 17:14
  peace
• 17:14
  after
• 17:15
  going
• 17:15
  no
• 17:15
  contact,
• 17:17
  the
• 17:17
  authors
• 17:17
  felt
• 17:18
  relieved
• 17:18
  for
• 17:18
  them.
• 17:19
  And
• 17:19
  then
• 17:20
  she
• 17:20
  would
• 17:20
  talk
• 17:20
  to
• 17:20
  a
• 17:20
  mother
• 17:21
  who
• 17:21
  was
• 17:21
  devastated
• 17:22
  because
• 17:22
  she
• 17:22
  hadn't
• 17:23
  talked
• 17:23
  to
• 17:23
  her
• 17:23
  daughter
• 17:23
  in
• 17:23
  10
• 17:24
  years.
• 17:24
  And
• 17:24
  she
• 17:24
  said
• 17:24
  her
• 17:25
  heart
• 17:25
  went
• 17:25
  out
• 17:25
  to
• 17:25
  this
• 17:26
  mother.
• 17:26
  And
• 17:27
  she
• 17:27
  said,
• 17:27
  as
• 17:27
  a
• 17:27
  new
• 17:28
  parent
• 17:28
  herself,
• 17:29
  it
• 17:29
  scared
• 17:30
  her
• 17:30
  to
• 17:30
  death
• 17:31
  because
• 17:31
  it
• 17:31
  made
• 17:31
  her
• 17:31
  think,
• 17:32
  what
• 17:32
  if
• 17:32
  I
• 17:32
  screw
• 17:32
  up
• 17:33
  and
• 17:33
  my
• 17:34
  child
• 17:34
  somehow
• 17:35
  rejects
• 17:35
  me?
• 17:36
  I
• 17:36
  was
• 17:36
  trying
• 17:36
  to
• 17:37
  do
• 17:37
  my
• 17:37
  best,
• 17:37
  but
• 17:38
  what
• 17:38
  if
• 17:38
  they
• 17:38
  reject
• 17:38
  me?
• 17:39
  And
• 17:39
  that
• 17:40
  was
• 17:40
  some
• 17:40
  of
• 17:40
  her
• 17:40
  feelings.
• 17:43
  And
• 17:43
  one
• 17:43
  thing
• 17:44
  that
• 17:44
  I
• 17:44
  thought
• 17:44
  was
• 17:44
  very
• 17:44
  interesting
• 17:45
  in
• 17:45
  this
• 17:45
  article
• 17:47
  is
• 17:48
  that
• 17:50
  older
• 17:50
  people,
• 17:51
  they
• 17:51
  have
• 17:51
  found,
• 17:53
  have
• 17:53
  much
• 17:53
  more
• 17:53
  of
• 17:54
  a
• 17:54
  sense
• 17:54
  of
• 17:54
  duty
• 17:54
  when
• 17:55
  it
• 17:55
  comes
• 17:55
  to
• 17:55
  family
• 17:56
  relationships
• 17:57
  than
• 17:57
  younger
• 17:57
  people.
• 17:58
  They
• 17:59
  feel
• 17:59
  the
• 17:59
  need.
• 18:00
  They
• 18:00
  feel
• 18:01
  they
• 18:01
  need
• 18:01
  a
• 18:01
  healthy
• 18:02
  relationship.
• 18:02
  Younger
• 18:03
  people,
• 18:04
  they
• 18:04
  have
• 18:04
  to
• 18:04
  have
• 18:04
  healthy
• 18:05
  relationships
• 18:05
  or
• 18:06
  they
• 18:06
  don't
• 18:06
  want
• 18:06
  the
• 18:06
  relationship
• 18:07
  at
• 18:07
  all.
• 18:07
  Whereas
• 18:08
  older
• 18:08
  people
• 18:08
  just
• 18:09
  don't
• 18:09
  want
• 18:09
  to
• 18:09
  give
• 18:09
  up
• 18:09
  the
• 18:10
  family
• 18:10
  because
• 18:11
  they've
• 18:11
  spent
• 18:12
  a
• 18:12
  lifetime
• 18:12
  bringing
• 18:13
  these
• 18:13
  children
• 18:13
  up
• 18:14
  and
• 18:14
  they're
• 18:14
  very.
• 18:14
  They're
• 18:15
  attached
• 18:15
  and
• 18:15
  they
• 18:16
  don't
• 18:16
  want
• 18:16
  that
• 18:16
  to
• 18:16
  break.
• 18:17
  And
• 18:17
  the
• 18:17
  younger
• 18:17
  people
• 18:17
  are
• 18:17
  like,
• 18:18
  well,
• 18:18
  if
• 18:18
  this
• 18:18
  is
• 18:18
  not
• 18:19
  serving
• 18:19
  me,
• 18:19
  it's
• 18:20
  like,
• 18:20
  well,
• 18:20
  sometimes
• 18:20
  relationships
• 18:21
  aren't
• 18:22
  serving
• 18:22
  you
• 18:22
  all
• 18:23
  the
• 18:23
  time.
• 18:23
  They
• 18:24
  ebb
• 18:24
  and
• 18:24
  they
• 18:24
  flow.
• 18:25
  Yeah.
• 18:26
  You
• 18:26
  know,
• 18:26
  and
• 18:26
  repair.
• 18:27
  There
• 18:27
  is
• 18:27
  a
• 18:27
  lot
• 18:27
  of
• 18:28
  value
• 18:28
  in
• 18:29
  learning
• 18:29
  to
• 18:29
  repair
• 18:30
  and
• 18:30
  learning
• 18:31
  to
• 18:31
  forgive
• 18:32
  when
• 18:33
  it
• 18:33
  is
• 18:33
  a
• 18:34
  situation
• 18:34
  that.
• 18:34
  That
• 18:35
  is
• 18:35
  possible.
• 18:35
  Yeah.
• 18:36
  And
• 18:36
  there
• 18:36
  was
• 18:36
  another.
• 18:37
  We'll.
• 18:37
  We'll
• 18:37
  talk
• 18:38
  about
• 18:38
  another
• 18:39
  therapist
• 18:39
  who
• 18:39
  kind
• 18:39
  of
• 18:40
  says
• 18:40
  that.
• 18:40
  That
• 18:40
  a
• 18:40
  lot
• 18:41
  of
• 18:41
  times
• 18:41
  it's
• 18:41
  just
• 18:41
  that
• 18:42
  people
• 18:42
  just
• 18:42
  don't.
• 18:43
  They
• 18:43
  don't
• 18:44
  know.
• 18:44
  They
• 18:44
  don't
• 18:44
  have
• 18:44
  the
• 18:44
  language
• 18:45
  to.
• 18:45
  To
• 18:46
  have
• 18:46
  the
• 18:46
  conversation.
• 18:48
  And
• 18:48
  that
• 18:48
  some
• 18:48
  of
• 18:48
  these
• 18:49
  things
• 18:49
  can
• 18:49
  be
• 18:49
  fixed.
• 18:50
  If
• 18:50
  you
• 18:50
  had
• 18:50
  a
• 18:50
  therapist
• 18:51
  to
• 18:51
  help
• 18:51
  you
• 18:52
  talk
• 18:52
  through
• 18:52
  the
• 18:53
  issues.
• 18:55
  Yeah.
• 18:55
  So
• 18:56
  he
• 18:56
  says,
• 18:57
  yeah.
• 18:58
  And
• 18:58
  the
• 18:58
  relationship
• 18:59
  might
• 18:59
  not
• 18:59
  be
• 18:59
  perfect
• 18:59
  if
• 19:00
  it's
• 19:00
  repaired,
• 19:00
  but
• 19:00
  it
• 19:01
  might
• 19:01
  exist,
• 19:02
  which
• 19:02
  is
• 19:02
  a
• 19:02
  big
• 19:02
  step
• 19:03
  forward
• 19:04
  in
• 19:04
  some
• 19:04
  situations.
• 19:05
  Exactly.
• 19:06
  And
• 19:07
  one
• 19:08
  of
• 19:08
  them.
• 19:08
  One
• 19:08
  of
• 19:09
  the
• 19:11
  one
• 19:11
  of
• 19:11
  the
• 19:12
  therapists
• 19:12
  said,
• 19:13
  you
• 19:13
  know,
• 19:13
  maybe
• 19:14
  this
• 19:14
  movement
• 19:14
  has
• 19:14
  gone
• 19:15
  a
• 19:15
  little
• 19:15
  too
• 19:15
  far.
• 19:17
  You
• 19:17
  know,
• 19:17
  nobody's
• 19:18
  going
• 19:18
  to
• 19:18
  say
• 19:18
  you
• 19:18
  should
• 19:19
  continue
• 19:19
  to
• 19:19
  have
• 19:19
  a
• 19:20
  relationship
• 19:20
  with
• 19:20
  a
• 19:20
  parent
• 19:21
  who
• 19:21
  commits
• 19:21
  physical
• 19:22
  or
• 19:22
  sexual
• 19:22
  abuse.
• 19:23
  Nobody's
• 19:23
  going
• 19:23
  to
• 19:23
  say
• 19:23
  that.
• 19:24
  But
• 19:24
  if
• 19:25
  you
• 19:26
  break
• 19:26
  up
• 19:26
  because
• 19:27
  of
• 19:27
  emotional
• 19:28
  abuse
• 19:28
  or
• 19:28
  toxic
• 19:29
  behavior,
• 19:30
  this
• 19:31
  is
• 19:31
  something
• 19:31
  that
• 19:32
  might
• 19:32
  be
• 19:32
  very
• 19:32
  unpleasant,
• 19:33
  but
• 19:33
  it's
• 19:33
  like
• 19:34
  always
• 19:34
  in
• 19:34
  the
• 19:34
  eye
• 19:35
  of
• 19:35
  the
• 19:35
  beholder.
• 19:35
  And
• 19:36
  it's
• 19:36
  so
• 19:36
  subjective.
• 19:37
  Is
• 19:37
  it
• 19:38
  really
• 19:38
  enough
• 19:38
  to
• 19:39
  break
• 19:39
  up
• 19:39
  a
• 19:40
  parent
• 19:40
  child
• 19:41
  relationship?
• 19:41
  Sometimes
• 19:42
  these
• 19:42
  are
• 19:43
  opportunities
• 19:44
  to
• 19:45
  find
• 19:45
  empathy.
• 19:46
  You
• 19:47
  know,
• 19:47
  like
• 19:47
  say
• 19:47
  it's
• 19:48
  a
• 19:48
  situation
• 19:48
  where
• 19:48
  it's
• 19:49
  like,
• 19:49
  your
• 19:49
  parents
• 19:49
  did
• 19:49
  their
• 19:50
  best,
• 19:50
  but
• 19:51
  maybe
• 19:51
  they
• 19:51
  were
• 19:52
  not
• 19:52
  in
• 19:52
  a
• 19:52
  great
• 19:52
  position
• 19:53
  to
• 19:53
  be
• 19:53
  parents.
• 19:54
  It's
• 19:54
  like,
• 19:54
  listen,
• 19:54
  like,
• 19:55
  at
• 19:55
  a
• 19:56
  certain
• 19:56
  point,
• 19:57
  forgiveness
• 19:58
  also
• 19:58
  feels
• 19:59
  good.
• 20:00
  In
• 20:00
  some
• 20:00
  cases,
• 20:01
  forgiveness
• 20:02
  feels
• 20:02
  better
• 20:02
  than
• 20:02
  holding
• 20:03
  a
• 20:03
  grudge.
• 20:04
  Yeah,
• 20:05
  I
• 20:05
  mean,
• 20:06
  I
• 20:06
  would
• 20:06
  think.
• 20:06
  And
• 20:07
  again,
• 20:07
  forgiveness
• 20:07
  doesn't
• 20:08
  necessarily
• 20:08
  mean,
• 20:08
  okay,
• 20:09
  now
• 20:09
  we
• 20:09
  can
• 20:09
  like
• 20:09
  be
• 20:09
  friends
• 20:10
  again.
• 20:10
  No,
• 20:10
  it's
• 20:10
  like,
• 20:11
  listen,
• 20:11
  I'm
• 20:11
  gonna
• 20:12
  let
• 20:12
  it
• 20:12
  go
• 20:12
  and
• 20:13
  I'm
• 20:13
  gonna
• 20:14
  not
• 20:14
  expect
• 20:14
  more
• 20:15
  of
• 20:15
  you
• 20:15
  than
• 20:15
  you
• 20:16
  are,
• 20:16
  Cap,
• 20:17
  because
• 20:17
  that
• 20:17
  only
• 20:17
  hurts
• 20:18
  me.
• 20:18
  And
• 20:19
  I'm
• 20:19
  gonna
• 20:19
  create
• 20:20
  the
• 20:20
  boundaries
• 20:21
  I
• 20:21
  need.
• 20:22
  But
• 20:23
  I
• 20:23
  will
• 20:23
  exist
• 20:24
  to
• 20:24
  you
• 20:25
  again
• 20:25
  and
• 20:25
  you
• 20:25
  will
• 20:26
  exist
• 20:26
  to
• 20:26
  me
• 20:27
  again.
• 20:27
  And
• 20:27
  maybe
• 20:28
  in
• 20:28
  time
• 20:28
  this
• 20:29
  can
• 20:29
  evolve.
• 20:29
  But
• 20:30
  the
• 20:30
  first
• 20:31
  step
• 20:31
  is,
• 20:32
  okay,
• 20:34
  that
• 20:34
  would
• 20:34
  be
• 20:34
  good
• 20:35
  if
• 20:35
  you
• 20:35
  could
• 20:35
  get
• 20:36
  to
• 20:36
  that
• 20:36
  place.
• 20:36
  If
• 20:37
  you'd
• 20:37
  gone,
• 20:37
  no
• 20:37
  contact.
• 20:38
  If
• 20:38
  you
• 20:38
  could
• 20:38
  get
• 20:38
  to
• 20:38
  this
• 20:39
  place.
• 20:40
  So
• 20:40
  we'll
• 20:41
  talk
• 20:41
  a
• 20:41
  little
• 20:41
  bit
• 20:41
  about
• 20:42
  the
• 20:42
  New
• 20:42
  York
• 20:43
  Times
• 20:43
  article,
• 20:43
  which
• 20:44
  gets
• 20:44
  into
• 20:44
  very
• 20:45
  similar
• 20:45
  topics.
• 20:46
  Another
• 20:46
  opens
• 20:47
  with.
• 20:47
  I
• 20:47
  guess
• 20:48
  they
• 20:48
  always
• 20:48
  open
• 20:48
  with
• 20:49
  real
• 20:49
  story,
• 20:49
  right?
• 20:50
  Yeah,
• 20:51
  that's
• 20:51
  the
• 20:51
  formula.
• 20:52
  That's
• 20:52
  the
• 20:52
  formula.
• 20:53
  So
• 20:53
  here
• 20:53
  we've
• 20:53
  got
• 20:54
  Jen,
• 20:54
  Jen.
• 20:55
  Jen.
• 20:55
  Jen.
• 20:56
  No,
• 20:56
  it's
• 20:56
  Jen.
• 20:57
  Jen,
• 20:57
  Jen.
• 20:58
  I
• 20:58
  thought
• 20:58
  it
• 20:58
  was
• 20:58
  Zhen
• 20:59
  Jen.
• 20:59
  Zhen
• 21:00
  Jen,
• 21:00
  but
• 21:01
  I
• 21:01
  looked
• 21:01
  it
• 21:01
  up.
• 21:02
  How
• 21:02
  do
• 21:02
  you
• 21:02
  pronounce
• 21:03
  this?
• 21:03
  It's
• 21:03
  Jen.
• 21:04
  Jen.
• 21:04
  Jen.
• 21:04
  Jen.
• 21:05
  Okay,
• 21:05
  cool.
• 21:06
  She
• 21:06
  was
• 21:06
  a
• 21:06
  college
• 21:06
  sophomore.
• 21:07
  She
• 21:07
  was
• 21:07
  feeling
• 21:07
  very
• 21:08
  oppressed
• 21:08
  by
• 21:08
  her
• 21:09
  parents
• 21:09
  who
• 21:09
  were
• 21:10
  badgering
• 21:10
  her
• 21:10
  to
• 21:11
  study
• 21:11
  business
• 21:12
  to
• 21:12
  return
• 21:12
  to
• 21:12
  China,
• 21:13
  and
• 21:13
  she
• 21:13
  was
• 21:13
  done.
• 21:14
  Marry
• 21:14
  a
• 21:14
  wealthy
• 21:15
  man
• 21:15
  and
• 21:15
  live
• 21:15
  near
• 21:16
  them.
• 21:16
  This
• 21:16
  is
• 21:16
  giving
• 21:16
  tiger
• 21:17
  mom
• 21:18
  vibes.
• 21:19
  I
• 21:19
  know.
• 21:19
  And
• 21:20
  they
• 21:20
  won't
• 21:20
  listen
• 21:20
  to
• 21:21
  her
• 21:21
  when
• 21:21
  she
• 21:21
  pushes
• 21:21
  back.
• 21:22
  And
• 21:22
  her
• 21:22
  therapist
• 21:23
  would
• 21:23
  kind
• 21:23
  of
• 21:23
  always
• 21:24
  look
• 21:24
  at
• 21:24
  the
• 21:25
  problem
• 21:25
  through
• 21:25
  her
• 21:26
  parents
• 21:26
  eyes.
• 21:27
  But
• 21:28
  then
• 21:28
  she
• 21:28
  discovered
• 21:29
  this
• 21:29
  guy,
• 21:29
  Patrick
• 21:30
  Tian,
• 21:31
  who's
• 21:31
  a
• 21:31
  licensed
• 21:32
  social
• 21:32
  worker
• 21:32
  with
• 21:32
  a
• 21:33
  big
• 21:33
  online
• 21:33
  and
• 21:34
  YouTube
• 21:34
  presence.
• 21:35
  He
• 21:35
  has
• 21:35
  videos
• 21:36
  that
• 21:36
  advocate.
• 21:37
  This
• 21:37
  is
• 21:37
  kind
• 21:37
  of
• 21:37
  what
• 21:38
  you
• 21:38
  were
• 21:38
  talking
• 21:38
  about,
• 21:39
  Videos
• 21:39
  advocating
• 21:40
  going
• 21:40
  no
• 21:40
  contact.
• 21:41
  He
• 21:41
  offers
• 21:42
  a
• 21:42
  toxic
• 21:43
  family
• 21:43
  test
• 21:44
  which
• 21:44
  measures
• 21:45
  just
• 21:45
  how
• 21:45
  toxic
• 21:46
  your
• 21:46
  family
• 21:46
  is.
• 21:47
  This
• 21:47
  sounds
• 21:47
  like
• 21:47
  a
• 21:47
  toxic
• 21:48
  test.
• 21:49
  He
• 21:49
  has
• 21:50
  a
• 21:50
  30
• 21:50
  to
• 21:51
  $50
• 21:51
  worksh
• 21:52
  that
• 21:52
  you
• 21:53
  could
• 21:53
  take
• 21:53
  a
• 21:53
  $69
• 21:55
  membership
• 21:55
  in
• 21:55
  his
• 21:56
  healing
• 21:56
  community.
• 21:57
  And
• 21:57
  he
• 21:57
  says
• 21:58
  he
• 21:58
  just
• 21:58
  can't
• 21:58
  keep
• 21:58
  up
• 21:59
  with
• 21:59
  the
• 21:59
  demand.
• 22:00
  And
• 22:00
  he
• 22:01
  has
• 22:01
  had
• 22:01
  to
• 22:01
  stop
• 22:01
  seeing
• 22:02
  patients
• 22:02
  individually
• 22:03
  because
• 22:03
  he's
• 22:04
  scaling
• 22:04
  up
• 22:04
  his
• 22:04
  business.
• 22:05
  So
• 22:06
  Jen.
• 22:06
  Jen
• 22:07
  is
• 22:07
  following
• 22:08
  him
• 22:08
  and
• 22:08
  she
• 22:09
  has
• 22:09
  gone
• 22:09
  no
• 22:09
  contact
• 22:10
  with
• 22:10
  her
• 22:10
  family.
• 22:12
  She
• 22:12
  took
• 22:12
  one
• 22:12
  of
• 22:12
  his
• 22:13
  classes
• 22:13
  and
• 22:14
  Tian
• 22:14
  suggested
• 22:15
  that
• 22:15
  the
• 22:15
  problem
• 22:15
  wasn't
• 22:16
  with
• 22:16
  her,
• 22:17
  but
• 22:17
  in
• 22:17
  how
• 22:17
  she
• 22:17
  had
• 22:17
  been
• 22:18
  treated
• 22:18
  by
• 22:18
  her
• 22:18
  parents.
• 22:19
  He
• 22:19
  told
• 22:20
  her
• 22:20
  that
• 22:20
  she
• 22:20
  did
• 22:20
  not
• 22:21
  have
• 22:21
  to
• 22:21
  reconcile
• 22:22
  with
• 22:22
  her
• 22:22
  abusers.
• 22:23
  So
• 22:23
  she
• 22:24
  sent
• 22:24
  her
• 22:25
  parents
• 22:25
  a
• 22:25
  no
• 22:26
  contact
• 22:26
  letter.
• 22:27
  They
• 22:27
  responded
• 22:28
  with
• 22:28
  a
• 22:28
  letter
• 22:28
  of
• 22:28
  their
• 22:28
  own,
• 22:29
  but
• 22:29
  she
• 22:29
  didn't
• 22:29
  even
• 22:29
  read
• 22:29
  it.
• 22:30
  She
• 22:30
  threw
• 22:30
  it
• 22:30
  away.
• 22:32
  And
• 22:32
  what
• 22:33
  they
• 22:33
  showed
• 22:34
  in
• 22:34
  the
• 22:34
  Times.
• 22:35
  Mr.
• 22:35
  Tian's
• 22:36
  toxic
• 22:36
  family
• 22:36
  test
• 22:37
  called
• 22:38
  do
• 22:38
  you
• 22:38
  need
• 22:38
  to
• 22:38
  cut
• 22:40
  to
• 22:40
  do
• 22:40
  a
• 22:40
  family
• 22:41
  cutoff?
• 22:42
  And
• 22:42
  the
• 22:42
  first
• 22:42
  question
• 22:43
  it
• 22:44
  asks
• 22:44
  is,
• 22:45
  are
• 22:45
  family
• 22:46
  members
• 22:47
  unloving,
• 22:48
  toxic,
• 22:49
  exploitative,
• 22:50
  entitled,
• 22:51
  physically
• 22:52
  abusive,
• 22:53
  physically
• 22:54
  unsafe,
• 22:55
  self
• 22:56
  consumed,
• 22:56
  refuse
• 22:57
  ownership
• 22:58
  or
• 22:58
  reality?
• 22:59
  Any
• 22:59
  one
• 22:59
  of
• 22:59
  those
• 23:00
  qualifies
• 23:00
  as
• 23:00
  abuse,
• 23:01
  which
• 23:02
  I
• 23:02
  don't
• 23:02
  think
• 23:02
  is
• 23:02
  true.
• 23:03
  Like
• 23:03
  I
• 23:03
  would
• 23:04
  say
• 23:04
  an
• 23:04
  unloving
• 23:05
  parent
• 23:06
  is
• 23:06
  not
• 23:06
  an
• 23:06
  abusive
• 23:07
  parent
• 23:07
  or
• 23:08
  an
• 23:08
  entitled
• 23:09
  parent,
• 23:09
  in
• 23:10
  my
• 23:10
  opinion
• 23:10
  is
• 23:10
  it
• 23:11
  might
• 23:11
  be
• 23:11
  just
• 23:11
  a
• 23:11
  character
• 23:12
  flaw,
• 23:12
  a
• 23:12
  bad,
• 23:13
  you
• 23:13
  know,
• 23:13
  but
• 23:13
  not
• 23:14
  really.
• 23:14
  There's
• 23:14
  a
• 23:14
  difference
• 23:15
  between
• 23:15
  being
• 23:15
  a
• 23:15
  flawed
• 23:16
  person
• 23:16
  and
• 23:17
  being
• 23:17
  an
• 23:17
  abuser.
• 23:19
  I
• 23:19
  think
• 23:19
  so,
• 23:20
  yeah.
• 23:20
  Yeah,
• 23:21
  I
• 23:21
  agree.
• 23:21
  I
• 23:22
  think
• 23:22
  that
• 23:22
  that
• 23:22
  is
• 23:23
  a
• 23:23
  bit
• 23:23
  of
• 23:23
  a
• 23:23
  low
• 23:23
  bar.
• 23:24
  Well,
• 23:24
  the
• 23:24
  bar
• 23:24
  has
• 23:25
  been
• 23:25
  lowered.
• 23:25
  Yeah,
• 23:26
  the
• 23:26
  bar
• 23:26
  has
• 23:27
  been
• 23:27
  lowered
• 23:28
  in
• 23:28
  this
• 23:28
  world.
• 23:29
  And
• 23:30
  then
• 23:30
  they
• 23:30
  talk
• 23:30
  about
• 23:30
  a
• 23:31
  woman
• 23:31
  named
• 23:32
  Jess
• 23:32
  who
• 23:32
  has
• 23:33
  vague
• 23:33
  memories
• 23:33
  of
• 23:33
  her
• 23:34
  parents
• 23:34
  being
• 23:34
  abusive.
• 23:36
  Vague
• 23:36
  memories.
• 23:36
  She
• 23:37
  couldn't
• 23:37
  really
• 23:37
  say
• 23:37
  what
• 23:37
  happened,
• 23:38
  but
• 23:38
  her
• 23:38
  sister
• 23:39
  did
• 23:39
  not
• 23:39
  have
• 23:39
  the
• 23:40
  same
• 23:40
  memories.
• 23:40
  And
• 23:40
  so
• 23:41
  she
• 23:41
  wasn't
• 23:41
  completely
• 23:41
  sure,
• 23:42
  but
• 23:42
  she
• 23:43
  did
• 23:43
  go
• 23:43
  no
• 23:44
  contact.
• 23:44
  And
• 23:44
  she
• 23:44
  said
• 23:45
  at
• 23:45
  first
• 23:45
  she
• 23:46
  felt
• 23:46
  utterly
• 23:46
  alone.
• 23:47
  Her
• 23:47
  own
• 23:48
  therapist
• 23:48
  showed
• 23:49
  some
• 23:49
  support
• 23:49
  for
• 23:49
  her
• 23:50
  parents,
• 23:50
  asking,
• 23:51
  well,
• 23:51
  how
• 23:51
  would
• 23:52
  you
• 23:52
  feel
• 23:52
  if
• 23:52
  they
• 23:52
  died
• 23:53
  and
• 23:53
  you
• 23:53
  haven't
• 23:53
  talked
• 23:53
  to
• 23:54
  them
• 23:54
  in
• 23:54
  years?
• 23:55
  And
• 23:55
  then
• 23:55
  she
• 23:56
  found
• 23:56
  Mr.
• 23:56
  Tan's
• 23:57
  videos
• 23:57
  and
• 23:57
  she
• 23:58
  called
• 23:58
  them
• 23:58
  life
• 23:58
  saving.
• 23:59
  To
• 23:59
  her
• 24:00
  finding
• 24:01
  them,
• 24:01
  she
• 24:01
  said,
• 24:01
  I
• 24:01
  just
• 24:01
  felt
• 24:02
  okay.
• 24:03
  There's
• 24:03
  a
• 24:03
  professional
• 24:04
  out
• 24:04
  there
• 24:04
  who
• 24:04
  believes
• 24:05
  it's
• 24:05
  healthy
• 24:06
  in
• 24:06
  some
• 24:06
  situations
• 24:07
  to
• 24:07
  go
• 24:07
  no
• 24:08
  contact.
• 24:09
  So
• 24:09
  she
• 24:09
  says,
• 24:10
  you
• 24:10
  know,
• 24:10
  that
• 24:10
  gave
• 24:10
  her
• 24:11
  solace.
• 24:12
  And
• 24:12
  she
• 24:12
  says
• 24:13
  even
• 24:13
  on
• 24:13
  days
• 24:13
  when
• 24:14
  she
• 24:14
  really
• 24:14
  would
• 24:14
  like
• 24:15
  to
• 24:15
  call
• 24:15
  her
• 24:15
  mother
• 24:18
  and
• 24:18
  she
• 24:18
  feels
• 24:18
  herself
• 24:19
  wavering,
• 24:19
  she
• 24:19
  just
• 24:20
  goes
• 24:20
  and
• 24:20
  watches
• 24:20
  Mr.
• 24:21
  T's
• 24:21
  videos
• 24:22
  and
• 24:22
  feels
• 24:22
  better
• 24:22
  about
• 24:23
  her
• 24:23
  decision,
• 24:24
  which
• 24:24
  doesn't
• 24:25
  sound
• 24:25
  good
• 24:25
  to
• 24:25
  me.
• 24:26
  That's
• 24:27
  me
• 24:27
  either.
• 24:27
  Then
• 24:28
  they
• 24:28
  interview
• 24:28
  Jess
• 24:29
  mother
• 24:29
  who's
• 24:29
  crying
• 24:30
  during
• 24:30
  this
• 24:30
  interview,
• 24:31
  describing
• 24:32
  the
• 24:32
  experience
• 24:33
  as
• 24:33
  being
• 24:33
  shunned.
• 24:34
  She
• 24:34
  missed
• 24:35
  so
• 24:35
  many
• 24:35
  of
• 24:36
  her
• 24:36
  daughter's
• 24:36
  milestones.
• 24:37
  She
• 24:37
  Said
• 24:37
  it's
• 24:38
  like
• 24:38
  grieving
• 24:38
  someone
• 24:39
  who
• 24:39
  died,
• 24:39
  but
• 24:40
  she
• 24:40
  just
• 24:40
  doesn't
• 24:40
  understand
• 24:41
  what
• 24:41
  happened.
• 24:42
  She
• 24:42
  did
• 24:43
  offer
• 24:43
  to
• 24:43
  meet
• 24:43
  with
• 24:44
  Jess
• 24:45
  and
• 24:45
  with
• 24:46
  her
• 24:46
  therapist
• 24:46
  present,
• 24:48
  but
• 24:49
  Jess
• 24:49
  said
• 24:49
  no.
• 24:50
  And
• 24:50
  the
• 24:50
  mother
• 24:51
  said,
• 24:51
  look,
• 24:51
  I
• 24:51
  wasn't
• 24:52
  perfect.
• 24:52
  I
• 24:52
  admit
• 24:53
  it.
• 24:53
  I
• 24:53
  was
• 24:53
  an
• 24:53
  alcoholic.
• 24:54
  My
• 24:54
  home
• 24:54
  was
• 24:55
  sometimes
• 24:56
  volatile.
• 24:57
  But
• 24:58
  she
• 24:58
  said,
• 24:58
  I
• 24:58
  led
• 24:58
  the
• 24:59
  Girl
• 24:59
  Scout
• 24:59
  troop,
• 25:00
  and
• 25:00
  I
• 25:00
  taught
• 25:00
  Sunday
• 25:00
  school.
• 25:01
  I
• 25:01
  did
• 25:01
  my
• 25:01
  best,
• 25:03
  you
• 25:03
  know?
• 25:03
  So
• 25:03
  I
• 25:03
  think
• 25:03
  sometimes
• 25:04
  parents
• 25:05
  are
• 25:05
  doing
• 25:06
  their
• 25:06
  best,
• 25:06
  but
• 25:06
  it's
• 25:07
  just
• 25:07
  not
• 25:07
  good
• 25:07
  enough.
• 25:07
  I'm
• 25:08
  also
• 25:08
  curious,
• 25:08
  too,
• 25:08
  about
• 25:09
  how
• 25:09
  many
• 25:10
  of
• 25:10
  these
• 25:10
  people,
• 25:11
  when
• 25:11
  they
• 25:11
  have
• 25:12
  children,
• 25:12
  if
• 25:13
  their
• 25:13
  perspective
• 25:14
  changes.
• 25:14
  Yeah,
• 25:14
  that
• 25:15
  makes
• 25:15
  sense.
• 25:15
  If
• 25:15
  they've
• 25:15
  gone
• 25:15
  no
• 25:16
  contact,
• 25:16
  it's
• 25:17
  like,
• 25:17
  well,
• 25:17
  now
• 25:17
  that
• 25:17
  you
• 25:17
  have
• 25:17
  a
• 25:18
  child,
• 25:19
  can
• 25:19
  you
• 25:19
  imagine
• 25:20
  perhaps
• 25:20
  not
• 25:21
  being
• 25:22
  abusive
• 25:23
  in
• 25:23
  the
• 25:24
  way
• 25:24
  that
• 25:24
  your
• 25:24
  parents
• 25:25
  were,
• 25:25
  but
• 25:25
  in
• 25:25
  a
• 25:25
  way
• 25:26
  that
• 25:26
  your
• 25:26
  children
• 25:26
  interpret
• 25:27
  as
• 25:27
  abuse
• 25:28
  and
• 25:29
  them
• 25:29
  deciding
• 25:29
  to
• 25:29
  go
• 25:29
  no
• 25:30
  contact.
• 25:30
  Like,
• 25:30
  I
• 25:31
  wonder
• 25:31
  if
• 25:31
  that
• 25:31
  invites
• 25:32
  an
• 25:32
  opportunity
• 25:33
  for
• 25:33
  introspection
• 25:34
  and
• 25:34
  empathy.
• 25:35
  I
• 25:36
  hope
• 25:36
  it
• 25:36
  does,
• 25:37
  because
• 25:37
  I
• 25:38
  think
• 25:38
  that
• 25:39
  in
• 25:39
  my
• 25:39
  opinion,
• 25:40
  this
• 25:40
  is
• 25:40
  just
• 25:41
  that
• 25:41
  the
• 25:41
  pendulum
• 25:42
  has
• 25:42
  swung
• 25:42
  too
• 25:43
  far,
• 25:43
  that
• 25:44
  kids
• 25:44
  are
• 25:46
  making
• 25:46
  these
• 25:46
  decisions.
• 25:48
  I
• 25:48
  think
• 25:49
  many
• 25:49
  of
• 25:49
  them,
• 25:49
  not
• 25:50
  in
• 25:50
  every
• 25:50
  case,
• 25:50
  but
• 25:51
  in
• 25:51
  many
• 25:51
  cases,
• 25:52
  they
• 25:52
  are
• 25:52
  cutting
• 25:53
  things
• 25:53
  off
• 25:54
  when
• 25:54
  they
• 25:55
  should
• 25:55
  give
• 25:56
  their
• 25:56
  parents
• 25:56
  more
• 25:56
  of
• 25:57
  a
• 25:57
  chance
• 25:57
  and
• 25:57
  try
• 25:58
  to
• 25:58
  have
• 25:58
  a
• 25:58
  more
• 25:58
  mature
• 25:59
  relationship
• 26:00
  with
• 26:00
  their.
• 26:00
  The.
• 26:01
  With
• 26:01
  the
• 26:01
  parent,
• 26:02
  maybe
• 26:02
  with
• 26:02
  some
• 26:03
  therapeutic
• 26:03
  help.
• 26:04
  Yeah.
• 26:04
  And
• 26:05
  again,
• 26:05
  I
• 26:05
  think
• 26:05
  it
• 26:05
  also
• 26:05
  takes
• 26:06
  a
• 26:06
  desire
• 26:07
  from
• 26:07
  both
• 26:07
  parties.
• 26:08
  I
• 26:09
  think
• 26:09
  that
• 26:09
  there
• 26:09
  are
• 26:09
  some
• 26:10
  situations
• 26:10
  where
• 26:11
  the
• 26:11
  parents
• 26:11
  like,
• 26:11
  all
• 26:11
  right,
• 26:11
  you
• 26:12
  want
• 26:12
  to
• 26:12
  go
• 26:12
  no
• 26:12
  contact,
• 26:12
  Fine.
• 26:13
  Good
• 26:13
  riddance.
• 26:14
  And
• 26:14
  then
• 26:15
  what?
• 26:15
  You
• 26:15
  know,
• 26:15
  I'm
• 26:16
  sure
• 26:16
  that's
• 26:16
  not
• 26:16
  often.
• 26:17
  Yeah.
• 26:17
  But
• 26:18
  I
• 26:18
  think
• 26:18
  people,
• 26:19
  human
• 26:20
  beings,
• 26:20
  have
• 26:20
  a
• 26:21
  hard
• 26:21
  time
• 26:21
  with
• 26:21
  rejection
• 26:22
  in
• 26:22
  whatever
• 26:22
  form
• 26:23
  it
• 26:23
  takes,
• 26:24
  you
• 26:24
  know,
• 26:24
  And
• 26:25
  I
• 26:25
  imagine
• 26:25
  there
• 26:25
  are
• 26:25
  some
• 26:26
  parents
• 26:26
  out
• 26:26
  there
• 26:26
  who
• 26:26
  are
• 26:26
  like,
• 26:27
  you
• 26:27
  know
• 26:27
  what?
• 26:27
  Fine.
• 26:27
  You
• 26:27
  want
• 26:27
  to
• 26:28
  do
• 26:28
  it
• 26:28
  yourself,
• 26:28
  do
• 26:28
  it
• 26:29
  yourself.
• 26:29
  Good
• 26:29
  luck.
• 26:29
  Good
• 26:30
  luck.
• 26:30
  God,
• 26:30
  don't
• 26:31
  ever
• 26:31
  ask
• 26:31
  me
• 26:31
  for
• 26:32
  anything.
• 26:32
  Oh,
• 26:32
  that
• 26:33
  would
• 26:33
  be
• 26:33
  so
• 26:33
  hard.
• 26:33
  I
• 26:34
  can't
• 26:34
  imagine.
• 26:34
  But,
• 26:34
  yes,
• 26:35
  I'm
• 26:35
  sure
• 26:35
  there
• 26:35
  are.
• 26:35
  There
• 26:36
  probably
• 26:36
  are.
• 26:36
  Yeah.
• 26:37
  You
• 26:37
  know,
• 26:37
  and
• 26:37
  again,
• 26:38
  it's
• 26:38
  like,
• 26:39
  I
• 26:39
  think
• 26:40
  you
• 26:40
  don't
• 26:41
  realize
• 26:41
  your
• 26:41
  parents
• 26:42
  are
• 26:42
  people
• 26:43
  until
• 26:43
  you
• 26:43
  become
• 26:44
  a
• 26:44
  little
• 26:44
  older
• 26:44
  and
• 26:45
  you
• 26:45
  don't
• 26:45
  really
• 26:45
  realize
• 26:46
  it,
• 26:46
  I
• 26:47
  think,
• 26:47
  in
• 26:47
  some
• 26:47
  ways,
• 26:48
  until
• 26:49
  you
• 26:49
  have
• 26:49
  a
• 26:49
  child.
• 26:50
  Well,
• 26:50
  I
• 26:50
  think
• 26:51
  that
• 26:51
  helps
• 26:51
  you
• 26:51
  understand
• 26:52
  how
• 26:52
  hard
• 26:53
  it
• 26:53
  is.
• 26:53
  Yeah,
• 26:53
  it's
• 26:53
  very
• 26:54
  hard.
• 26:54
  Well,
• 26:55
  Joshua
• 26:55
  Coleman,
• 26:56
  who's
• 26:56
  a
• 26:56
  psychologist
• 26:57
  who
• 26:57
  works
• 26:57
  with
• 26:57
  parents
• 26:58
  who
• 26:58
  have
• 26:58
  been
• 26:59
  cut
• 26:59
  off,
• 26:59
  says
• 27:00
  that
• 27:00
  younger
• 27:00
  generations
• 27:01
  who
• 27:01
  are
• 27:01
  in
• 27:01
  therapy
• 27:02
  come
• 27:02
  to
• 27:02
  their
• 27:02
  parents
• 27:03
  saying
• 27:04
  they
• 27:04
  were
• 27:04
  traumatized,
• 27:05
  abused,
• 27:05
  neglected,
• 27:06
  and
• 27:06
  parents
• 27:06
  are
• 27:07
  like,
• 27:07
  what
• 27:07
  are
• 27:07
  you
• 27:07
  talking
• 27:08
  about?
• 27:09
  And
• 27:09
  he
• 27:09
  says
• 27:09
  there's
• 27:09
  an
• 27:09
  ever
• 27:10
  lower
• 27:10
  threshold
• 27:11
  for
• 27:11
  what
• 27:11
  we
• 27:11
  view
• 27:11
  as
• 27:12
  trauma.
• 27:13
  And
• 27:13
  he
• 27:13
  advises
• 27:14
  Parents
• 27:14
  against
• 27:15
  even
• 27:15
  defending
• 27:15
  themselves.
• 27:16
  He
• 27:16
  says,
• 27:17
  write
• 27:17
  amends
• 27:18
  letters
• 27:19
  and
• 27:19
  apologize
• 27:20
  for
• 27:20
  your
• 27:20
  shortcomings,
• 27:21
  which
• 27:21
  I
• 27:21
  imagine
• 27:22
  is
• 27:22
  hard
• 27:22
  if
• 27:22
  you
• 27:22
  don't
• 27:22
  believe
• 27:22
  you've
• 27:23
  done
• 27:23
  anything.
• 27:23
  Even
• 27:23
  if
• 27:23
  you
• 27:23
  don't
• 27:24
  believe
• 27:24
  it,
• 27:24
  you
• 27:24
  should
• 27:24
  do
• 27:25
  that.
• 27:25
  And
• 27:25
  he
• 27:25
  says,
• 27:25
  children
• 27:26
  have
• 27:26
  all
• 27:26
  the
• 27:27
  power
• 27:27
  in
• 27:27
  this
• 27:27
  negotiation.
• 27:28
  While
• 27:29
  estrangement
• 27:30
  may
• 27:30
  have
• 27:30
  some
• 27:30
  benefit
• 27:31
  for
• 27:31
  adult
• 27:31
  children,
• 27:32
  for
• 27:32
  parents,
• 27:33
  it's
• 27:33
  all
• 27:33
  downside.
• 27:34
  It's
• 27:34
  shame,
• 27:35
  guilt,
• 27:35
  and
• 27:35
  regret.
• 27:36
  Now,
• 27:37
  like
• 27:37
  you
• 27:37
  said,
• 27:37
  some
• 27:37
  parents
• 27:38
  won't
• 27:38
  do
• 27:38
  this
• 27:39
  because
• 27:39
  they
• 27:39
  feel
• 27:39
  like
• 27:40
  they'd
• 27:40
  be
• 27:40
  groveling.
• 27:42
  Another
• 27:43
  therapist,
• 27:43
  Dr.
• 27:44
  Katie
• 27:44
  Murphy,
• 27:45
  says
• 27:45
  clinicians
• 27:46
  who
• 27:46
  encourage
• 27:47
  going
• 27:47
  no
• 27:47
  contact
• 27:48
  are
• 27:48
  in
• 27:48
  violation
• 27:49
  of
• 27:49
  ethical
• 27:49
  principles.
• 27:50
  Therapists
• 27:51
  are
• 27:51
  supposed
• 27:52
  to
• 27:52
  be
• 27:52
  neutral,
• 27:52
  period.
• 27:53
  We
• 27:53
  do
• 27:54
  not
• 27:54
  state
• 27:54
  our
• 27:55
  opinions.
• 27:55
  Our
• 27:55
  personal
• 27:56
  belief
• 27:56
  system
• 27:56
  stays
• 27:57
  outside
• 27:57
  the
• 27:57
  door.
• 27:58
  We
• 27:58
  go
• 27:58
  in
• 27:59
  as
• 27:59
  clean
• 27:59
  slates.
• 28:00
  She's
• 28:00
  been
• 28:01
  reporting
• 28:01
  therapists
• 28:02
  to
• 28:02
  licensing
• 28:03
  boards.
• 28:04
  She
• 28:04
  says,
• 28:04
  my
• 28:04
  personal
• 28:05
  opinion
• 28:05
  is
• 28:05
  that
• 28:06
  TikTok
• 28:06
  therapists
• 28:07
  are
• 28:07
  destroying
• 28:08
  the
• 28:08
  trust
• 28:08
  and
• 28:08
  professionalism
• 28:09
  that
• 28:10
  took
• 28:10
  forever
• 28:10
  to
• 28:11
  build
• 28:12
  in
• 28:12
  this
• 28:12
  field.
• 28:13
  Bad
• 28:13
  for
• 28:13
  the
• 28:13
  brand.
• 28:14
  What
• 28:14
  they
• 28:14
  want
• 28:15
  is
• 28:15
  to
• 28:15
  generate
• 28:16
  revenue.
• 28:17
  And
• 28:17
  they
• 28:17
  have
• 28:17
  podcasts,
• 28:18
  they
• 28:18
  have
• 28:18
  books,
• 28:19
  workshops,
• 28:20
  communities.
• 28:20
  You
• 28:20
  picture,
• 28:21
  they're
• 28:21
  all
• 28:21
  crafts,
• 28:21
  which,
• 28:21
  listen,
• 28:22
  I
• 28:22
  mean,
• 28:23
  it's
• 28:23
  giving
• 28:23
  a
• 28:23
  little
• 28:24
  grifty.
• 28:25
  Starting
• 28:25
  to
• 28:25
  feel
• 28:26
  that
• 28:26
  way.
• 28:26
  Mr.
• 28:27
  Tan,
• 28:27
  who's
• 28:28
  the
• 28:28
  guy
• 28:28
  who
• 28:28
  does
• 28:28
  have
• 28:29
  the
• 28:29
  workshops,
• 28:30
  makes
• 28:30
  fun
• 28:31
  of
• 28:31
  parents
• 28:31
  who
• 28:31
  angrily
• 28:32
  reach
• 28:32
  out
• 28:33
  to
• 28:33
  him
• 28:33
  and
• 28:34
  tell
• 28:35
  them
• 28:35
  how
• 28:35
  his
• 28:35
  feed
• 28:36
  has
• 28:36
  destroyed
• 28:37
  their
• 28:37
  relationship
• 28:38
  with
• 28:38
  their
• 28:38
  family.
• 28:38
  I
• 28:38
  don't
• 28:38
  like
• 28:39
  that.
• 28:39
  I
• 28:39
  think
• 28:39
  that's
• 28:39
  horrible.
• 28:40
  I
• 28:40
  think
• 28:40
  that's
• 28:40
  really
• 28:41
  callous.
• 28:41
  And
• 28:42
  he
• 28:42
  doesn't.
• 28:42
  I
• 28:42
  think
• 28:42
  it's
• 28:43
  really
• 28:43
  arrogant.
• 28:43
  It's
• 28:44
  hard.
• 28:44
  I
• 28:44
  just
• 28:44
  think
• 28:45
  it's
• 28:45
  like,
• 28:45
  ooh,
• 28:46
  really?
• 28:46
  Also,
• 28:46
  like,
• 28:46
  are
• 28:47
  you
• 28:47
  a
• 28:47
  father?
• 28:48
  I
• 28:48
  don't
• 28:48
  know.
• 28:48
  Well,
• 28:49
  I
• 28:49
  don't
• 28:49
  know.
• 28:50
  He
• 28:50
  isn't
• 28:50
  worried,
• 28:51
  he
• 28:51
  says,
• 28:51
  about
• 28:52
  complaints
• 28:52
  to
• 28:52
  licensing
• 28:53
  boards
• 28:53
  because
• 28:53
  he
• 28:54
  says
• 28:54
  they're
• 28:54
  old
• 28:54
  school.
• 28:56
  So.
• 28:56
  Okay.
• 28:58
  I
• 28:58
  don't
• 28:58
  know
• 28:58
  that
• 28:59
  I
• 28:59
  feel
• 28:59
  like
• 28:59
  that
• 28:59
  is.
• 29:01
  I
• 29:01
  don't
• 29:01
  know.
• 29:01
  I
• 29:02
  feel
• 29:02
  like
• 29:02
  he's.
• 29:02
  What's
• 29:03
  the
• 29:03
  word?
• 29:03
  Like,
• 29:04
  dismissing
• 29:04
  it
• 29:04
  because
• 29:05
  it
• 29:05
  doesn't
• 29:05
  serve
• 29:06
  his
• 29:06
  business.
• 29:07
  And
• 29:08
  that.
• 29:09
  I
• 29:09
  don't
• 29:09
  think
• 29:09
  I
• 29:09
  like
• 29:10
  that.
• 29:10
  That
• 29:10
  doesn't
• 29:11
  feel.
• 29:12
  Yeah,
• 29:13
  it
• 29:13
  feels
• 29:13
  a
• 29:13
  little
• 29:13
  icky.
• 29:14
  Well,
• 29:14
  it
• 29:14
  feels
• 29:15
  like
• 29:15
  licensing
• 29:16
  boards
• 29:16
  exist
• 29:16
  for
• 29:17
  a
• 29:17
  reason.
• 29:17
  Yeah.
• 29:18
  Especially
• 29:18
  when
• 29:18
  you're
• 29:19
  treating
• 29:19
  people
• 29:19
  for
• 29:20
  mental
• 29:20
  health.
• 29:20
  And
• 29:20
  I
• 29:21
  think
• 29:21
  there's
• 29:21
  this
• 29:21
  weird
• 29:22
  perception
• 29:23
  in
• 29:23
  some
• 29:23
  circles
• 29:23
  that,
• 29:24
  like,
• 29:24
  mental
• 29:25
  health
• 29:25
  isn't
• 29:25
  like,
• 29:25
  physiological
• 29:26
  health.
• 29:27
  Like,
• 29:27
  Right.
• 29:27
  Mental
• 29:28
  health
• 29:28
  doctors,
• 29:28
  they
• 29:29
  don't
• 29:29
  need
• 29:29
  to
• 29:29
  do
• 29:29
  as
• 29:29
  much
• 29:30
  as.
• 29:30
  But
• 29:30
  I
• 29:30
  think
• 29:31
  you
• 29:31
  have
• 29:31
  to
• 29:31
  be.
• 29:31
  I
• 29:31
  think
• 29:31
  you
• 29:31
  have
• 29:32
  to
• 29:32
  do
• 29:32
  more.
• 29:32
  Right.
• 29:33
  I
• 29:33
  think
• 29:33
  it
• 29:33
  is
• 29:34
  a
• 29:34
  much
• 29:34
  more
• 29:34
  delicate.
• 29:36
  Right.
• 29:36
  Thing
• 29:36
  that
• 29:37
  you
• 29:37
  like.
• 29:37
  Thing
• 29:38
  you're
• 29:38
  treading
• 29:39
  here,
• 29:39
  you
• 29:40
  know?
• 29:40
  You
• 29:40
  really
• 29:41
  need
• 29:41
  to
• 29:41
  be.
• 29:42
  You
• 29:43
  need
• 29:43
  to
• 29:43
  be.
• 29:44
  I
• 29:44
  guess
• 29:44
  there
• 29:44
  has
• 29:44
  to
• 29:44
  be
• 29:45
  a
• 29:45
  standard,
• 29:45
  right?
• 29:45
  There
• 29:46
  should
• 29:46
  be
• 29:46
  standards.
• 29:46
  I,
• 29:47
  I,
• 29:47
  you
• 29:47
  know,
• 29:47
  I
• 29:47
  would.
• 29:48
  I
• 29:48
  don't
• 29:48
  know.
• 29:48
  I
• 29:48
  mean,
• 29:49
  I,
• 29:49
  I
• 29:49
  just,
• 29:50
  I
• 29:50
  don't
• 29:50
  know
• 29:50
  that
• 29:50
  you
• 29:51
  can,
• 29:51
  I
• 29:51
  mean,
• 29:51
  you
• 29:52
  can
• 29:52
  give
• 29:52
  people
• 29:52
  information
• 29:53
  about
• 29:54
  why
• 29:54
  you
• 29:54
  might
• 29:54
  go
• 29:55
  no
• 29:55
  contact.
• 29:55
  Yeah.
• 29:56
  When
• 29:56
  you
• 29:56
  might
• 29:56
  go
• 29:56
  no
• 29:57
  contact.
• 29:57
  Like,
• 29:58
  what
• 29:58
  does
• 29:59
  constitute
• 29:59
  abuse?
• 30:00
  And
• 30:00
  what.
• 30:01
  And
• 30:01
  this,
• 30:01
  this.
• 30:02
  That
• 30:02
  said
• 30:03
  again,
• 30:03
  though,
• 30:03
  it's
• 30:03
  like,
• 30:04
  we
• 30:04
  can't
• 30:04
  tell
• 30:05
  people
• 30:05
  what
• 30:05
  they
• 30:05
  feel.
• 30:06
  You
• 30:06
  know,
• 30:06
  we.
• 30:07
  That's
• 30:07
  such
• 30:08
  a.
• 30:08
  That's
• 30:08
  true.
• 30:08
  That's
• 30:09
  such
• 30:09
  a
• 30:09
  delicate
• 30:09
  thing,
• 30:09
  too.
• 30:10
  It's
• 30:10
  like
• 30:10
  you
• 30:11
  need
• 30:11
  to
• 30:11
  trust
• 30:11
  how
• 30:11
  you
• 30:12
  feel.
• 30:12
  And
• 30:12
  if
• 30:12
  you
• 30:13
  feel
• 30:13
  like
• 30:13
  not
• 30:14
  having
• 30:14
  anyone
• 30:15
  in
• 30:15
  your
• 30:15
  life
• 30:16
  that
• 30:16
  you
• 30:16
  don't
• 30:16
  want,
• 30:17
  you
• 30:17
  have
• 30:18
  to,
• 30:18
  like,
• 30:18
  you
• 30:19
  know,
• 30:19
  I
• 30:19
  don't
• 30:19
  know,
• 30:19
  like,
• 30:20
  respect
• 30:20
  yourself
• 30:21
  in
• 30:21
  that
• 30:22
  way.
• 30:22
  If
• 30:22
  you
• 30:22
  feel
• 30:22
  that
• 30:22
  way
• 30:23
  and,
• 30:23
  you
• 30:23
  know,
• 30:23
  it
• 30:23
  would
• 30:23
  help
• 30:24
  you.
• 30:24
  You
• 30:24
  can
• 30:24
  try
• 30:25
  it
• 30:25
  and,
• 30:26
  and
• 30:26
  just
• 30:26
  explain
• 30:27
  it
• 30:27
  to
• 30:27
  your
• 30:27
  parents
• 30:28
  and,
• 30:28
  you
• 30:28
  know,
• 30:28
  let
• 30:28
  them.
• 30:29
  I
• 30:29
  mean,
• 30:29
  your
• 30:29
  parents
• 30:30
  gave
• 30:30
  birth
• 30:31
  to
• 30:31
  you,
• 30:31
  and
• 30:31
  they,
• 30:32
  and
• 30:32
  they
• 30:32
  raised
• 30:33
  you.
• 30:33
  Now,
• 30:33
  maybe
• 30:34
  they
• 30:34
  didn't
• 30:34
  do
• 30:34
  a
• 30:34
  great
• 30:35
  job.
• 30:35
  Maybe
• 30:35
  they
• 30:36
  were
• 30:36
  imperfect.
• 30:37
  Probably
• 30:37
  their
• 30:38
  parent.
• 30:38
  They're
• 30:39
  being
• 30:39
  raised
• 30:39
  in
• 30:40
  a
• 30:40
  very
• 30:40
  imperfect
• 30:41
  way
• 30:41
  as
• 30:41
  well.
• 30:42
  They
• 30:42
  don't
• 30:42
  know
• 30:43
  how
• 30:43
  to
• 30:44
  be
• 30:44
  a
• 30:44
  good
• 30:44
  parent.
• 30:45
  Not
• 30:45
  everyone
• 30:45
  knows
• 30:45
  how
• 30:45
  to
• 30:45
  be
• 30:46
  a
• 30:46
  parent.
• 30:46
  No,
• 30:46
  a
• 30:46
  lot
• 30:46
  of
• 30:46
  people
• 30:47
  really
• 30:47
  don't.
• 30:47
  Yeah,
• 30:48
  they
• 30:48
  don't.
• 30:49
  And,
• 30:49
  in
• 30:49
  fact,
• 30:50
  there
• 30:50
  was
• 30:50
  a
• 30:51
  therapist
• 30:52
  I
• 30:52
  was
• 30:52
  reading
• 30:52
  this
• 30:52
  is
• 30:53
  in
• 30:53
  a
• 30:53
  different
• 30:53
  Psychology
• 30:54
  Today
• 30:54
  article,
• 30:54
  but
• 30:55
  she
• 30:55
  talks
• 30:55
  about
• 30:56
  how
• 30:56
  she's.
• 30:57
  This
• 30:57
  is
• 30:57
  a
• 30:57
  therapist
• 30:57
  who's
• 30:58
  appalled
• 30:58
  by
• 30:58
  what's
• 30:59
  happening
• 30:59
  on
• 30:59
  social
• 30:59
  media
• 31:00
  and
• 31:00
  the
• 31:00
  TikTok
• 31:01
  videos.
• 31:02
  She
• 31:02
  said
• 31:02
  terms
• 31:02
  like
• 31:03
  toxic
• 31:03
  and
• 31:03
  narcissistic
• 31:04
  are
• 31:04
  just
• 31:05
  thrown
• 31:05
  around
• 31:05
  as
• 31:06
  frequently
• 31:06
  as
• 31:07
  colicky,
• 31:07
  which
• 31:08
  they
• 31:08
  used
• 31:08
  to
• 31:08
  say
• 31:08
  babies
• 31:09
  who
• 31:09
  cried
• 31:09
  all
• 31:09
  the
• 31:09
  time
• 31:10
  were
• 31:10
  colicky,
• 31:11
  and
• 31:11
  then
• 31:11
  that
• 31:12
  was
• 31:12
  disproven.
• 31:12
  Like.
• 31:13
  Like
• 31:13
  there's
• 31:13
  something
• 31:13
  wrong
• 31:14
  if
• 31:14
  your
• 31:14
  baby's
• 31:14
  crying
• 31:15
  all
• 31:15
  the
• 31:15
  time.
• 31:15
  But
• 31:16
  parents
• 31:16
  who
• 31:17
  may
• 31:17
  need
• 31:17
  to
• 31:17
  just
• 31:17
  learn
• 31:18
  lessons
• 31:18
  about
• 31:19
  boundaries
• 31:19
  with
• 31:19
  adult
• 31:20
  children
• 31:20
  or
• 31:21
  how
• 31:21
  to
• 31:21
  say
• 31:21
  things
• 31:22
  in
• 31:22
  a
• 31:22
  more
• 31:22
  constructive
• 31:23
  way
• 31:23
  are
• 31:24
  being
• 31:24
  called
• 31:24
  abusive.
• 31:25
  And
• 31:25
  then
• 31:25
  there's
• 31:26
  no
• 31:26
  coming
• 31:26
  back
• 31:27
  from
• 31:27
  that.
• 31:27
  Yeah.
• 31:28
  Because
• 31:28
  that's
• 31:29
  a
• 31:29
  very
• 31:29
  strong
• 31:30
  word,
• 31:31
  Abusive.
• 31:31
  Yeah.
• 31:32
  It
• 31:32
  reminds
• 31:32
  me
• 31:33
  again,
• 31:33
  Housewives.
• 31:34
  There
• 31:34
  was
• 31:35
  Crystal
• 31:35
  Kung.
• 31:35
  Minkoff
• 31:36
  came
• 31:36
  on
• 31:36
  the
• 31:37
  scene,
• 31:37
  and
• 31:37
  she
• 31:38
  claimed
• 31:38
  that
• 31:38
  Sutton
• 31:39
  violated
• 31:39
  her.
• 31:40
  And
• 31:40
  then
• 31:40
  the
• 31:40
  entire
• 31:41
  season
• 31:41
  became
• 31:42
  about.
• 31:42
  Well,
• 31:42
  what
• 31:43
  does
• 31:43
  violation
• 31:44
  really
• 31:44
  mean?
• 31:45
  Oh,
• 31:46
  what
• 31:46
  did
• 31:46
  she
• 31:46
  do?
• 31:47
  I
• 31:48
  think
• 31:48
  she,
• 31:48
  like,
• 31:48
  knocked
• 31:49
  on
• 31:49
  her
• 31:49
  door
• 31:49
  and
• 31:49
  came
• 31:50
  into
• 31:50
  her
• 31:50
  hotel
• 31:51
  room
• 31:51
  when
• 31:51
  she
• 31:51
  was,
• 31:52
  like,
• 31:52
  not
• 31:53
  trying
• 31:53
  to
• 31:53
  film
• 31:54
  or
• 31:54
  something
• 31:54
  like
• 31:54
  that.
• 31:55
  I
• 31:55
  don't
• 31:55
  know.
• 31:55
  I
• 31:55
  don't
• 31:55
  remember
• 31:55
  the
• 31:56
  specific
• 31:56
  circumstances,
• 31:57
  but
• 31:57
  it's.
• 31:58
  There's
• 31:58
  a
• 31:59
  lot
• 31:59
  of
• 31:59
  semantics
• 32:00
  right
• 32:01
  Things.
• 32:01
  And
• 32:01
  again,
• 32:02
  Crystal
• 32:02
  clearly
• 32:03
  felt
• 32:03
  violated.
• 32:05
  What
• 32:05
  that
• 32:05
  meant
• 32:05
  to
• 32:05
  her
• 32:06
  in
• 32:06
  that
• 32:06
  moment,
• 32:06
  I
• 32:07
  will
• 32:07
  not
• 32:07
  begrudge
• 32:08
  her
• 32:08
  of
• 32:08
  that.
• 32:08
  Yeah.
• 32:09
  You
• 32:09
  know,
• 32:09
  but
• 32:09
  then
• 32:10
  what
• 32:10
  ended
• 32:10
  up
• 32:10
  happening
• 32:11
  is
• 32:11
  like
• 32:11
  the
• 32:11
  whole
• 32:11
  thing
• 32:12
  devolved,
• 32:12
  okay,
• 32:13
  into
• 32:13
  this
• 32:14
  debate
• 32:14
  about
• 32:15
  something
• 32:16
  that
• 32:16
  is
• 32:16
  emotional.
• 32:17
  And
• 32:17
  it's
• 32:18
  very
• 32:18
  hard
• 32:18
  to
• 32:18
  debate
• 32:19
  things
• 32:19
  that
• 32:19
  are
• 32:19
  about
• 32:20
  something
• 32:20
  so
• 32:21
  nebulous.
• 32:21
  Right,
• 32:22
  right.
• 32:22
  You
• 32:22
  know,
• 32:22
  because
• 32:23
  debate
• 32:23
  requires
• 32:24
  facts,
• 32:24
  it
• 32:25
  requires
• 32:25
  a
• 32:25
  certain
• 32:25
  amount
• 32:26
  of
• 32:26
  objectivity.
• 32:27
  And
• 32:27
  like
• 32:28
  we're
• 32:28
  getting
• 32:28
  into
• 32:28
  the
• 32:28
  philosophy
• 32:29
  of
• 32:29
  violation,
• 32:30
  the
• 32:30
  philosophy
• 32:31
  of
• 32:31
  abuse.
• 32:32
  And
• 32:32
  it
• 32:32
  means
• 32:32
  different
• 32:32
  things
• 32:33
  to
• 32:33
  different
• 32:33
  people.
• 32:33
  Right.
• 32:34
  So
• 32:34
  if
• 32:34
  you
• 32:34
  feel
• 32:35
  violated,
• 32:36
  it's
• 32:36
  true
• 32:36
  for
• 32:37
  you.
• 32:37
  So
• 32:37
  that's
• 32:38
  just
• 32:38
  the
• 32:38
  way
• 32:38
  it
• 32:38
  is.
• 32:39
  But
• 32:40
  with
• 32:40
  your
• 32:40
  parents,
• 32:41
  I
• 32:41
  guess
• 32:42
  what
• 32:42
  I
• 32:42
  see
• 32:43
  in
• 32:43
  reading
• 32:43
  these
• 32:43
  articles
• 32:44
  is
• 32:44
  just
• 32:45
  how
• 32:45
  heartbroken
• 32:46
  parents
• 32:47
  are
• 32:48
  when
• 32:48
  their
• 32:48
  children
• 32:49
  go
• 32:49
  no
• 32:50
  contact.
• 32:51
  And
• 32:52
  I
• 32:52
  think
• 32:54
  kids
• 32:55
  for
• 32:55
  some
• 32:55
  whatever
• 32:56
  reason
• 32:56
  are
• 32:56
  able
• 32:56
  to
• 32:56
  move
• 32:56
  on.
• 32:57
  I
• 32:57
  have
• 32:57
  to
• 32:58
  believe
• 32:58
  they
• 32:58
  feel
• 32:58
  bad
• 32:59
  too.
• 32:59
  I
• 33:00
  would
• 33:00
  think
• 33:00
  if
• 33:00
  you
• 33:00
  did
• 33:00
  that
• 33:01
  you
• 33:01
  would.
• 33:01
  Brutal
• 33:02
  choice
• 33:02
  to
• 33:02
  make.
• 33:02
  I
• 33:02
  would
• 33:03
  think
• 33:03
  so.
• 33:03
  Yeah.
• 33:03
  Yes,
• 33:04
  I
• 33:04
  would
• 33:04
  think
• 33:04
  so.
• 33:04
  But
• 33:05
  you
• 33:05
  know
• 33:05
  what
• 33:06
  drives
• 33:06
  me
• 33:06
  crazy
• 33:07
  about
• 33:07
  schools?
• 33:08
  When
• 33:08
  they're
• 33:09
  testing
• 33:09
  kids
• 33:09
  for
• 33:10
  gifted
• 33:10
  programs
• 33:10
  or
• 33:11
  private
• 33:11
  school
• 33:11
  admissions
• 33:12
  and
• 33:12
  they
• 33:12
  say,
• 33:13
  relax,
• 33:14
  don't
• 33:14
  prepare
• 33:15
  them,
• 33:15
  just
• 33:15
  leave
• 33:16
  it
• 33:16
  to
• 33:16
  chance.
• 33:17
  Are
• 33:17
  they
• 33:17
  crazy?
• 33:18
  Would
• 33:19
  you
• 33:19
  take
• 33:19
  an
• 33:19
  important
• 33:20
  test
• 33:20
  without
• 33:20
  knowing
• 33:21
  what
• 33:21
  to
• 33:21
  expect?
• 33:22
  No.
• 33:23
  And
• 33:23
  neither
• 33:23
  should
• 33:23
  your
• 33:24
  child.
• 33:24
  Learn
• 33:25
  about
• 33:25
  any
• 33:25
  test
• 33:26
  your
• 33:26
  child
• 33:26
  needs
• 33:27
  to
• 33:27
  take
• 33:27
  by
• 33:27
  going
• 33:27
  to
• 33:28
  the
• 33:28
  testingmom.com
• 33:29
  website.
• 33:30
  There
• 33:31
  you'll
• 33:31
  find
• 33:31
  thousands
• 33:32
  of
• 33:32
  practice
• 33:33
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• 33:33
  for
• 33:33
  the
• 33:33
  test
• 33:34
  you
• 33:34
  want.
• 33:34
  Whether
• 33:35
  it's
• 33:35
  for
• 33:35
  a
• 33:35
  gifted
• 33:35
  program,
• 33:36
  private
• 33:36
  school
• 33:37
  admissions,
• 33:37
  mid
• 33:38
  year
• 33:38
  assessment,
• 33:38
  or
• 33:39
  end
• 33:39
  of
• 33:39
  year
• 33:39
  achievement
• 33:40
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• 33:41
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• 33:41
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• 33:41
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• 33:42
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• 33:42
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• 33:42
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• 33:43
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• 33:44
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• 33:45
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• 33:45
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• 33:45
  test
• 33:46
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• 33:46
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• 33:47
  And
• 33:47
  when
• 33:47
  the
• 33:47
  test
• 33:48
  is
• 33:48
  over,
• 33:48
  they
• 33:48
  can
• 33:49
  boost
• 33:49
  their
• 33:49
  academic
• 33:50
  skills
• 33:50
  with
• 33:51
  any
• 33:51
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• 33:51
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• 33:52
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• 33:53
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• 33:53
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• 33:54
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• 33:54
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• 33:55
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• 33:55
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• 33:55
  your
• 33:55
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• 33:56
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• 33:56
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• 33:57
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• 33:57
  just
• 33:58
  about
• 33:58
  $10
• 33:59
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• 33:59
  month.
• 33:59
  Join
• 34:00
  the
• 34:00
  over
• 34:00
  1
• 34:00
  million
• 34:01
  parents
• 34:01
  that
• 34:02
  have
• 34:02
  used
• 34:02
  testingmom.com
• 34:03
  to
• 34:04
  prepare
• 34:04
  their
• 34:04
  pre
• 34:04
  K
• 34:05
  to
• 34:05
  8th
• 34:05
  graders
• 34:06
  for
• 34:06
  tests
• 34:07
  that
• 34:07
  really
• 34:07
  matter.
• 34:08
  But
• 34:09
  I
• 34:09
  would
• 34:10
  think
• 34:10
  it
• 34:10
  would
• 34:10
  be
• 34:10
  the
• 34:10
  last
• 34:11
  option
• 34:12
  you
• 34:12
  would
• 34:12
  pick.
• 34:13
  And
• 34:13
  in
• 34:14
  my,
• 34:14
  I
• 34:14
  mean,
• 34:14
  if
• 34:15
  I
• 34:15
  ever
• 34:15
  felt
• 34:16
  that
• 34:16
  terrible
• 34:17
  about
• 34:17
  my
• 34:18
  parent,
• 34:18
  I
• 34:19
  would
• 34:19
  at
• 34:19
  least
• 34:19
  maybe
• 34:20
  personally
• 34:20
  try
• 34:21
  to
• 34:21
  get
• 34:22
  in
• 34:22
  with
• 34:22
  a
• 34:22
  therapist
• 34:23
  and
• 34:24
  maybe
• 34:24
  get
• 34:24
  some
• 34:25
  kind
• 34:25
  of
• 34:25
  discussion
• 34:26
  going
• 34:26
  with
• 34:26
  the
• 34:26
  parent.
• 34:27
  With
• 34:27
  therapists
• 34:27
  present,
• 34:28
  let
• 34:28
  us
• 34:29
  say
• 34:29
  what's
• 34:29
  on
• 34:29
  our
• 34:30
  mind
• 34:30
  with
• 34:30
  help.
• 34:31
  You
• 34:31
  know,
• 34:31
  a
• 34:31
  lot
• 34:31
  of
• 34:31
  people
• 34:32
  are
• 34:32
  very
• 34:32
  therapy
• 34:32
  averse.
• 34:33
  Yeah,
• 34:34
  I
• 34:34
  know.
• 34:34
  You
• 34:34
  know,
• 34:34
  I
• 34:35
  mean,
• 34:35
  there's
• 34:35
  weird.
• 34:35
  There's
• 34:36
  still
• 34:36
  a
• 34:36
  lot
• 34:36
  of
• 34:36
  stigma
• 34:36
  around
• 34:37
  therapy
• 34:37
  in
• 34:37
  a
• 34:37
  lot
• 34:37
  of
• 34:38
  communities
• 34:38
  and
• 34:38
  it's
• 34:39
  like
• 34:39
  you're
• 34:39
  kind
• 34:39
  of
• 34:40
  fighting
• 34:40
  an
• 34:40
  uphill
• 34:40
  battle
• 34:41
  in
• 34:41
  that
• 34:41
  situation,
• 34:42
  you
• 34:42
  know?
• 34:43
  Yeah.
• 34:44
  In
• 34:44
  Some
• 34:45
  ways,
• 34:45
  I
• 34:45
  will
• 34:45
  say
• 34:45
  it's
• 34:46
  probably
• 34:46
  good
• 34:46
  that
• 34:47
  this
• 34:47
  has
• 34:47
  come
• 34:47
  out
• 34:48
  of
• 34:48
  the
• 34:48
  woodwork
• 34:49
  because
• 34:50
  I
• 34:50
  do
• 34:50
  think
• 34:50
  the
• 34:51
  parents
• 34:51
  that
• 34:51
  I
• 34:52
  knew
• 34:52
  whose
• 34:52
  kids
• 34:53
  went
• 34:53
  no
• 34:54
  contact
• 34:54
  with
• 34:54
  them,
• 34:55
  they
• 34:55
  felt
• 34:55
  so
• 34:56
  much
• 34:56
  shame
• 34:56
  and
• 34:56
  embarrassment
• 34:57
  about
• 34:57
  it.
• 34:58
  And
• 35:00
  now
• 35:00
  there's
• 35:00
  like
• 35:01
  a.
• 35:01
  There's
• 35:02
  groups
• 35:02
  to
• 35:03
  support
• 35:03
  these
• 35:03
  parents
• 35:04
  and
• 35:06
  to
• 35:06
  help
• 35:06
  them
• 35:07
  realize,
• 35:08
  look,
• 35:08
  you're
• 35:08
  not
• 35:08
  alone
• 35:09
  either.
• 35:09
  The
• 35:10
  kids
• 35:10
  aren't
• 35:10
  alone,
• 35:10
  but
• 35:10
  you're
• 35:11
  not
• 35:11
  alone.
• 35:11
  And
• 35:12
  this
• 35:12
  happens
• 35:12
  to
• 35:12
  many
• 35:13
  parents
• 35:13
  and
• 35:14
  you
• 35:14
  have
• 35:15
  to
• 35:15
  somehow
• 35:15
  come
• 35:15
  to
• 35:16
  terms
• 35:16
  with
• 35:16
  it.
• 35:16
  And
• 35:16
  people
• 35:17
  try
• 35:17
  to
• 35:17
  help
• 35:17
  them
• 35:17
  come
• 35:18
  to
• 35:18
  terms
• 35:18
  with
• 35:18
  it.
• 35:19
  I
• 35:19
  can't
• 35:19
  imagine.
• 35:20
  I
• 35:20
  have
• 35:20
  given
• 35:21
  birth
• 35:21
  to
• 35:21
  two
• 35:21
  children
• 35:22
  that
• 35:22
  I
• 35:22
  brought
• 35:23
  up,
• 35:24
  gave
• 35:24
  my
• 35:25
  heart
• 35:25
  and
• 35:25
  soul
• 35:26
  to.
• 35:26
  You're
• 35:27
  starting
• 35:27
  that
• 35:28
  now
• 35:28
  with
• 35:28
  your
• 35:28
  child.
• 35:30
  You
• 35:30
  know,
• 35:31
  I
• 35:31
  can't
• 35:31
  even
• 35:31
  imagine
• 35:32
  how
• 35:32
  painful
• 35:33
  that
• 35:33
  would
• 35:33
  be
• 35:33
  to
• 35:34
  lose
• 35:34
  my
• 35:34
  child
• 35:34
  that
• 35:35
  way.
• 35:35
  Yeah.
• 35:35
  And
• 35:36
  I'm,
• 35:36
  you
• 35:36
  know,
• 35:36
  also
• 35:37
  to
• 35:37
  not
• 35:37
  understand
• 35:38
  why.
• 35:38
  Yeah.
• 35:39
  Not
• 35:39
  to
• 35:39
  know
• 35:39
  why.
• 35:39
  Yeah.
• 35:40
  And,
• 35:41
  oh,
• 35:42
  God,
• 35:42
  I
• 35:42
  have
• 35:42
  like
• 35:43
  a
• 35:43
  pit.
• 35:43
  And
• 35:44
  the
• 35:44
  whole
• 35:44
  thing
• 35:44
  that
• 35:44
  happened,
• 35:45
  like
• 35:45
  with
• 35:45
  Brooklyn
• 35:46
  and
• 35:46
  his
• 35:46
  family,
• 35:47
  it's
• 35:47
  just
• 35:47
  so
• 35:48
  sad.
• 35:48
  It
• 35:49
  is.
• 35:49
  That
• 35:49
  it's
• 35:49
  got
• 35:50
  played
• 35:50
  out
• 35:50
  in
• 35:50
  public.
• 35:51
  Like,
• 35:51
  I
• 35:51
  would
• 35:51
  think
• 35:51
  you
• 35:52
  don't
• 35:52
  want
• 35:52
  to
• 35:52
  play
• 35:52
  those
• 35:52
  things
• 35:53
  out
• 35:53
  in
• 35:53
  public
• 35:53
  like
• 35:54
  that.
• 35:54
  But
• 35:54
  I
• 35:55
  mean,
• 35:55
  you
• 35:55
  know,
• 35:55
  they're
• 35:55
  one
• 35:56
  of
• 35:56
  the
• 35:56
  most
• 35:56
  prominent
• 35:57
  families
• 35:57
  in
• 35:57
  the
• 35:58
  world.
• 35:58
  Like,
• 35:58
  you
• 35:58
  know,
• 35:58
  people
• 35:59
  are
• 35:59
  going
• 35:59
  to
• 35:59
  want
• 35:59
  to
• 35:59
  know
• 36:00
  if
• 36:00
  there's
• 36:00
  a
• 36:00
  weird
• 36:00
  situation
• 36:01
  like
• 36:01
  that.
• 36:02
  Yeah.
• 36:02
  And
• 36:02
  again,
• 36:03
  it
• 36:03
  is
• 36:03
  so
• 36:03
  case
• 36:04
  by
• 36:04
  case,
• 36:04
  like,
• 36:05
  you
• 36:05
  know,
• 36:06
  we
• 36:06
  can't
• 36:07
  claim
• 36:08
  that
• 36:08
  one
• 36:08
  is
• 36:09
  justified
• 36:09
  and
• 36:09
  one
• 36:09
  is
• 36:10
  not
• 36:10
  because
• 36:10
  it
• 36:10
  really
• 36:11
  is
• 36:11
  such
• 36:11
  a
• 36:11
  personal
• 36:12
  thing.
• 36:12
  Right.
• 36:13
  It's
• 36:13
  how
• 36:13
  you
• 36:13
  feel.
• 36:14
  And
• 36:14
  he
• 36:14
  obviously
• 36:15
  feels
• 36:15
  very
• 36:15
  hurt.
• 36:16
  Yeah.
• 36:16
  And
• 36:17
  to
• 36:17
  have
• 36:17
  done
• 36:17
  that.
• 36:18
  So,
• 36:18
  you
• 36:19
  know,
• 36:19
  and
• 36:19
  I.
• 36:19
  I
• 36:20
  can't
• 36:20
  say
• 36:20
  he's
• 36:20
  right
• 36:20
  or
• 36:21
  wrong.
• 36:21
  I
• 36:21
  feel
• 36:21
  for
• 36:22
  them
• 36:22
  both.
• 36:22
  Yeah.
• 36:22
  I
• 36:23
  really
• 36:23
  feel
• 36:23
  for
• 36:23
  them
• 36:23
  both.
• 36:24
  I
• 36:24
  mean,
• 36:24
  it
• 36:24
  is
• 36:24
  like
• 36:24
  a
• 36:25
  no
• 36:25
  win
• 36:25
  situation.
• 36:26
  And
• 36:27
  it.
• 36:27
  And
• 36:27
  unfortunately,
• 36:28
  it's
• 36:28
  starting
• 36:28
  to
• 36:28
  feel
• 36:29
  like
• 36:29
  the
• 36:29
  people
• 36:29
  who
• 36:29
  are
• 36:29
  winning
• 36:30
  are
• 36:31
  the
• 36:31
  people
• 36:31
  who
• 36:32
  are
• 36:32
  profiting
• 36:33
  off
• 36:33
  of
• 36:33
  this.
• 36:33
  The
• 36:33
  news
• 36:34
  media.
• 36:34
  Yeah.
• 36:35
  Well,
• 36:35
  not
• 36:35
  that.
• 36:35
  Well,
• 36:36
  that
• 36:36
  in
• 36:36
  that
• 36:36
  situation,
• 36:37
  but
• 36:37
  I
• 36:37
  mean,
• 36:37
  like
• 36:37
  profiting.
• 36:38
  You
• 36:38
  know,
• 36:38
  some
• 36:39
  of
• 36:39
  the
• 36:39
  therapists
• 36:40
  that
• 36:40
  are
• 36:40
  like
• 36:40
  very
• 36:41
  huge
• 36:41
  proponents
• 36:42
  of
• 36:42
  no
• 36:42
  contact.
• 36:42
  Like,
• 36:43
  I
• 36:43
  don't
• 36:43
  think
• 36:43
  that
• 36:43
  should
• 36:43
  be
• 36:44
  your
• 36:44
  whole.
• 36:44
  Whole
• 36:44
  thing.
• 36:45
  Right.
• 36:45
  I
• 36:46
  think
• 36:46
  you
• 36:46
  have
• 36:46
  to,
• 36:46
  as
• 36:47
  a
• 36:47
  therapist,
• 36:47
  come
• 36:47
  in
• 36:48
  and
• 36:48
  speaking
• 36:48
  as
• 36:49
  a
• 36:49
  not
• 36:49
  therapist.
• 36:50
  Yeah.
• 36:50
  You
• 36:50
  got
• 36:50
  to
• 36:50
  come
• 36:51
  in
• 36:51
  and
• 36:51
  see
• 36:51
  situation
• 36:51
  by
• 36:52
  situation,
• 36:52
  like
• 36:53
  what
• 36:53
  is
• 36:53
  in
• 36:53
  the
• 36:53
  best
• 36:54
  interest
• 36:54
  of
• 36:55
  your
• 36:55
  client.
• 36:56
  Right.
• 36:56
  And
• 36:56
  a
• 36:57
  lot
• 36:57
  of
• 36:57
  times
• 36:57
  I
• 36:57
  wonder
• 36:58
  if
• 36:58
  that
• 36:59
  really
• 36:59
  is.
• 36:59
  Or
• 37:00
  if
• 37:00
  you're
• 37:00
  sort
• 37:00
  of
• 37:01
  like
• 37:01
  serving
• 37:01
  your
• 37:02
  own
• 37:02
  purposes,
• 37:03
  you
• 37:03
  know.
• 37:03
  But
• 37:04
  again,
• 37:04
  that
• 37:04
  said,
• 37:05
  some
• 37:05
  people
• 37:05
  have
• 37:05
  said
• 37:05
  those
• 37:05
  videos
• 37:06
  have
• 37:06
  been
• 37:06
  really,
• 37:06
  really
• 37:07
  helpful.
• 37:07
  For
• 37:07
  them.
• 37:07
  Yeah.
• 37:08
  Yeah.
• 37:08
  Because,
• 37:08
  again,
• 37:08
  it's
• 37:09
  probably
• 37:09
  a
• 37:09
  very
• 37:09
  difficult,
• 37:09
  brutal
• 37:10
  situation
• 37:11
  and
• 37:11
  a
• 37:11
  brutal
• 37:11
  choice
• 37:11
  to
• 37:12
  make
• 37:12
  and
• 37:12
  to
• 37:12
  have
• 37:12
  some
• 37:13
  people
• 37:13
  validate
• 37:13
  and
• 37:14
  say,
• 37:14
  listen,
• 37:14
  like,
• 37:14
  you
• 37:14
  did
• 37:14
  what
• 37:15
  you
• 37:15
  had
• 37:15
  to
• 37:15
  do
• 37:15
  for
• 37:15
  yourself.
• 37:16
  Right.
• 37:16
  And
• 37:17
  make
• 37:17
  some.
• 37:17
  Okay,
• 37:18
  they're
• 37:18
  able
• 37:18
  to
• 37:18
  move
• 37:19
  on,
• 37:19
  whatever.
• 37:20
  Well,
• 37:21
  the
• 37:21
  last
• 37:22
  article
• 37:22
  we
• 37:22
  looked
• 37:22
  at
• 37:23
  that
• 37:23
  is
• 37:23
  one
• 37:24
  that
• 37:24
  is
• 37:24
  a
• 37:24
  little
• 37:24
  different
• 37:25
  because
• 37:26
  it
• 37:26
  actually
• 37:26
  gives
• 37:26
  some
• 37:27
  advice
• 37:27
  which
• 37:28
  is
• 37:28
  kind
• 37:28
  of,
• 37:28
  I
• 37:28
  think,
• 37:29
  helpful.
• 37:29
  Yeah.
• 37:30
  So
• 37:31
  it's
• 37:31
  a
• 37:31
  little
• 37:32
  bit
• 37:32
  of
• 37:32
  a
• 37:32
  different
• 37:32
  situation,
• 37:33
  but
• 37:34
  the
• 37:34
  headline
• 37:34
  is,
• 37:35
  adolescence
• 37:36
  lasts
• 37:36
  into
• 37:36
  your
• 37:37
  30s.
• 37:38
  So
• 37:38
  how
• 37:38
  should
• 37:39
  parents
• 37:39
  treat
• 37:39
  their
• 37:39
  adult
• 37:40
  children?
• 37:42
  And,
• 37:42
  you
• 37:42
  know,
• 37:42
  research
• 37:43
  used
• 37:43
  to
• 37:43
  be.
• 37:43
  And
• 37:44
  I
• 37:44
  always
• 37:44
  thought
• 37:44
  that
• 37:45
  at
• 37:45
  25,
• 37:45
  you
• 37:46
  don't
• 37:46
  mature
• 37:46
  till
• 37:46
  you're
• 37:46
  25.
• 37:47
  Your
• 37:47
  brain
• 37:48
  matures
• 37:48
  at
• 37:48
  25.
• 37:49
  That's
• 37:49
  when
• 37:49
  you
• 37:49
  have
• 37:49
  all
• 37:49
  your
• 37:50
  executive
• 37:50
  functions.
• 37:51
  Yeah,
• 37:51
  it
• 37:51
  happens
• 37:52
  then.
• 37:52
  But
• 37:53
  there's
• 37:53
  new
• 37:53
  research
• 37:54
  that
• 37:54
  says,
• 37:54
  no,
• 37:55
  a
• 37:55
  child's
• 37:56
  brain
• 37:56
  doesn't
• 37:56
  really
• 37:56
  fully
• 37:57
  develop
• 37:57
  until
• 37:57
  32.
• 37:59
  And
• 37:59
  that
• 37:59
  was
• 37:59
  based
• 38:00
  on
• 38:00
  a
• 38:00
  really
• 38:00
  big
• 38:02
  study
• 38:02
  with
• 38:03
  4,000
• 38:03
  people
• 38:04
  who
• 38:04
  had
• 38:04
  their
• 38:04
  brain
• 38:05
  scanned.
• 38:05
  You
• 38:05
  know,
• 38:05
  so.
• 38:06
  Ooh,
• 38:06
  brain
• 38:06
  scans.
• 38:07
  It
• 38:07
  was
• 38:07
  very
• 38:07
  scientific.
• 38:09
  So,
• 38:10
  anyway,
• 38:11
  so
• 38:11
  if.
• 38:11
  If
• 38:12
  adolescence
• 38:12
  last
• 38:13
  that
• 38:13
  long,
• 38:14
  how
• 38:14
  should
• 38:14
  you
• 38:15
  treat
• 38:15
  your
• 38:15
  adult
• 38:15
  children?
• 38:16
  And
• 38:17
  so
• 38:17
  the.
• 38:17
  The.
• 38:18
  There's
• 38:18
  a
• 38:19
  story.
• 38:19
  It
• 38:19
  starts
• 38:20
  with
• 38:20
  the.
• 38:20
  What's
• 38:21
  the
• 38:21
  story?
• 38:22
  Okay.
• 38:22
  It's
• 38:22
  a
• 38:22
  thought.
• 38:23
  It's.
• 38:23
  The
• 38:23
  author
• 38:23
  of
• 38:24
  the
• 38:24
  article
• 38:24
  is
• 38:24
  a
• 38:25
  psychotherapist
• 38:25
  herself,
• 38:26
  and
• 38:27
  she's
• 38:27
  trained
• 38:27
  in
• 38:28
  child
• 38:28
  and
• 38:29
  adult
• 38:29
  development.
• 38:30
  And
• 38:30
  she
• 38:31
  said
• 38:31
  she
• 38:31
  experienced
• 38:32
  a
• 38:32
  crisis
• 38:32
  with
• 38:32
  her
• 38:33
  daughter
• 38:34
  when
• 38:34
  she
• 38:34
  was
• 38:34
  18
• 38:35
  years
• 38:35
  old.
• 38:36
  And
• 38:36
  with
• 38:36
  all
• 38:36
  her
• 38:37
  training
• 38:37
  and
• 38:37
  experience,
• 38:38
  she
• 38:38
  had
• 38:38
  no
• 38:38
  idea
• 38:39
  how
• 38:39
  to
• 38:39
  handle
• 38:39
  it.
• 38:39
  She
• 38:40
  said,
• 38:40
  my.
• 38:41
  And
• 38:41
  the
• 38:41
  daughter
• 38:41
  described
• 38:42
  it
• 38:42
  this
• 38:42
  way.
• 38:42
  She
• 38:43
  said,
• 38:43
  I
• 38:44
  was
• 38:44
  furious
• 38:45
  and
• 38:45
  desperate
• 38:46
  and
• 38:46
  lonely,
• 38:47
  and
• 38:47
  I
• 38:47
  fought
• 38:47
  with
• 38:48
  you
• 38:48
  and
• 38:48
  dad
• 38:48
  in
• 38:49
  a
• 38:49
  way
• 38:50
  no
• 38:50
  one
• 38:50
  in
• 38:50
  the
• 38:50
  family
• 38:51
  had
• 38:51
  ever
• 38:51
  fought
• 38:52
  with
• 38:52
  you
• 38:52
  before.
• 38:52
  I
• 38:53
  remember
• 38:53
  screaming
• 38:54
  at
• 38:54
  you
• 38:54
  while
• 38:54
  out
• 38:54
  on
• 38:55
  a
• 38:55
  walk.
• 38:55
  And
• 38:56
  as
• 38:56
  you
• 38:56
  desperately
• 38:57
  implored
• 38:57
  me
• 38:58
  to
• 38:58
  be
• 38:58
  quiet
• 38:58
  because
• 38:58
  people
• 38:59
  could
• 38:59
  hear,
• 39:00
  and
• 39:00
  I
• 39:00
  wanted
• 39:00
  them
• 39:01
  to
• 39:01
  hear,
• 39:01
  I
• 39:01
  wanted
• 39:01
  to
• 39:02
  smash
• 39:02
  this
• 39:02
  image
• 39:03
  of
• 39:03
  us
• 39:03
  as
• 39:03
  a
• 39:03
  happy
• 39:04
  family
• 39:04
  to
• 39:05
  pieces.
• 39:05
  And
• 39:05
  the
• 39:06
  author
• 39:06
  says,
• 39:06
  I
• 39:06
  was
• 39:06
  just
• 39:07
  lost.
• 39:07
  It
• 39:08
  was
• 39:08
  like
• 39:08
  I
• 39:08
  wondered,
• 39:09
  what
• 39:09
  happened?
• 39:10
  How
• 39:10
  had
• 39:10
  I
• 39:11
  gotten
• 39:11
  it
• 39:11
  wrong
• 39:11
  like
• 39:12
  this,
• 39:12
  and
• 39:12
  how
• 39:13
  do
• 39:13
  I
• 39:13
  fix
• 39:13
  it?
• 39:14
  And
• 39:14
  she
• 39:14
  felt
• 39:15
  like
• 39:15
  she
• 39:15
  had
• 39:15
  just
• 39:15
  failed
• 39:16
  her
• 39:16
  family.
• 39:17
  She
• 39:17
  couldn't
• 39:17
  really
• 39:17
  find
• 39:18
  guidance
• 39:18
  because
• 39:19
  her
• 39:19
  daughter
• 39:19
  was
• 39:19
  technically
• 39:20
  an
• 39:20
  adult.
• 39:21
  She
• 39:21
  was
• 39:21
  18.
• 39:22
  But
• 39:23
  the
• 39:23
  author
• 39:23
  could
• 39:24
  just
• 39:24
  see
• 39:24
  this
• 39:24
  is
• 39:25
  like
• 39:25
  a
• 39:25
  young,
• 39:25
  vulnerable
• 39:26
  child.
• 39:28
  And
• 39:28
  she
• 39:29
  said
• 39:29
  eventually
• 39:29
  they
• 39:30
  did
• 39:30
  manage
• 39:31
  to
• 39:31
  survive
• 39:32
  the
• 39:32
  break,
• 39:32
  but
• 39:33
  they
• 39:33
  did
• 39:33
  it
• 39:33
  through.
• 39:35
  Through
• 39:35
  therapy
• 39:36
  together
• 39:36
  and
• 39:37
  time.
• 39:38
  But
• 39:38
  she
• 39:38
  said
• 39:38
  the
• 39:38
  process
• 39:39
  was
• 39:39
  very
• 39:39
  raw
• 39:40
  and
• 39:40
  painful
• 39:41
  and
• 39:42
  chaotic.
• 39:43
  And
• 39:43
  so
• 39:43
  she
• 39:44
  tries
• 39:44
  to
• 39:44
  share
• 39:44
  some
• 39:45
  guiding
• 39:45
  principles.
• 39:48
  And
• 39:48
  she
• 39:48
  starts
• 39:49
  out
• 39:49
  by
• 39:49
  saying,
• 39:49
  you
• 39:49
  know,
• 39:49
  it
• 39:50
  seems
• 39:50
  like
• 39:50
  young
• 39:50
  people
• 39:51
  are
• 39:51
  growing
• 39:51
  up
• 39:51
  more
• 39:52
  slowly
• 39:52
  than
• 39:53
  in
• 39:53
  previous
• 39:53
  generations.
• 39:54
  Like
• 39:54
  it
• 39:54
  used
• 39:55
  to
• 39:55
  be
• 39:55
  at
• 39:55
  18,
• 39:55
  you'd
• 39:56
  go
• 39:56
  to
• 39:56
  war.
• 39:57
  Yeah,
• 39:57
  well,
• 39:57
  you
• 39:57
  could,
• 39:58
  you
• 39:58
  go
• 39:58
  to
• 39:58
  war,
• 39:59
  you
• 39:59
  get
• 39:59
  married,
• 39:59
  married,
• 40:00
  you
• 40:00
  build
• 40:00
  a
• 40:00
  home,
• 40:00
  whatever.
• 40:01
  When
• 40:01
  a
• 40:02
  homeschool
• 40:03
  $40
• 40:04
  now,
• 40:04
  that's
• 40:05
  right.
• 40:05
  Now
• 40:05
  there's
• 40:05
  just
• 40:05
  a
• 40:06
  much
• 40:06
  slower
• 40:06
  path
• 40:07
  to
• 40:07
  independence.
• 40:08
  And
• 40:09
  in
• 40:09
  fact,
• 40:09
  a
• 40:09
  third
• 40:10
  of
• 40:10
  young
• 40:10
  adults
• 40:11
  age
• 40:11
  15,
• 40:12
  18
• 40:12
  to
• 40:13
  34
• 40:13
  live
• 40:14
  with
• 40:14
  their
• 40:14
  parents.
• 40:15
  And
• 40:15
  60%
• 40:16
  listen,
• 40:16
  in
• 40:16
  this
• 40:16
  economy,
• 40:17
  I
• 40:17
  understand,
• 40:18
  right.
• 40:18
  But
• 40:18
  there's,
• 40:19
  you
• 40:19
  know,
• 40:19
  that
• 40:19
  isn't
• 40:20
  what
• 40:20
  it
• 40:20
  used
• 40:20
  to
• 40:20
  be.
• 40:21
  60%
• 40:22
  of
• 40:22
  adults
• 40:22
  financially
• 40:23
  support
• 40:23
  their
• 40:24
  adult
• 40:24
  children
• 40:25
  or
• 40:25
  help
• 40:25
  support,
• 40:26
  I
• 40:26
  assume.
• 40:28
  And
• 40:28
  she
• 40:28
  tells
• 40:28
  a
• 40:28
  story
• 40:29
  about
• 40:29
  this
• 40:29
  patient,
• 40:30
  Sarah,
• 40:30
  who
• 40:30
  has
• 40:31
  a
• 40:31
  26
• 40:31
  year
• 40:31
  old
• 40:31
  son
• 40:32
  who
• 40:32
  moved
• 40:32
  back
• 40:32
  home
• 40:33
  and
• 40:33
  it
• 40:33
  was
• 40:33
  supposed
• 40:34
  to
• 40:34
  be
• 40:34
  temporary,
• 40:35
  but
• 40:35
  it
• 40:36
  has
• 40:36
  lasted
• 40:36
  for
• 40:36
  years.
• 40:37
  And
• 40:37
  he
• 40:37
  has
• 40:37
  a
• 40:37
  part
• 40:38
  time
• 40:38
  job
• 40:38
  and
• 40:39
  then
• 40:39
  every
• 40:39
  night
• 40:39
  he's
• 40:39
  in
• 40:40
  his
• 40:40
  room
• 40:40
  gaming.
• 40:41
  And
• 40:41
  he
• 40:41
  does
• 40:42
  not
• 40:42
  contribute
• 40:42
  to
• 40:43
  household
• 40:43
  costs.
• 40:44
  He
• 40:44
  doesn't
• 40:44
  help
• 40:45
  at
• 40:45
  home.
• 40:45
  So
• 40:46
  he's
• 40:46
  not
• 40:46
  even
• 40:46
  a
• 40:47
  roommate.
• 40:47
  No,
• 40:47
  he's
• 40:47
  acting
• 40:48
  like
• 40:48
  a
• 40:48
  kid.
• 40:49
  But
• 40:49
  she
• 40:49
  feels
• 40:50
  that
• 40:50
  she
• 40:51
  has
• 40:51
  just
• 40:51
  failed
• 40:52
  her
• 40:52
  son
• 40:52
  because
• 40:52
  she
• 40:53
  thinks
• 40:54
  he's
• 40:54
  now
• 40:54
  in
• 40:55
  his
• 40:55
  20s
• 40:55
  and
• 40:55
  he
• 40:55
  can't
• 40:56
  cope
• 40:56
  with
• 40:56
  adult
• 40:56
  life.
• 40:57
  And
• 40:58
  she
• 40:58
  doesn't
• 40:58
  know
• 40:58
  what
• 40:58
  to
• 40:58
  do.
• 40:59
  And
• 40:59
  she
• 40:59
  realizes,
• 41:00
  she
• 41:00
  said,
• 41:00
  she
• 41:00
  looks
• 41:01
  back
• 41:01
  and
• 41:01
  she
• 41:01
  says,
• 41:02
  I
• 41:02
  was
• 41:02
  one
• 41:02
  of
• 41:02
  those
• 41:03
  parents
• 41:03
  trying
• 41:03
  to
• 41:03
  be
• 41:03
  warm
• 41:04
  there
• 41:05
  for
• 41:05
  my
• 41:05
  child.
• 41:06
  She
• 41:06
  said,
• 41:06
  protecting
• 41:07
  him
• 41:07
  from
• 41:07
  struggle
• 41:08
  always.
• 41:09
  She
• 41:09
  overcompensated.
• 41:10
  She
• 41:10
  said
• 41:11
  she
• 41:11
  solved
• 41:11
  his
• 41:11
  problems,
• 41:12
  she
• 41:12
  rescued
• 41:13
  him
• 41:13
  all
• 41:14
  the
• 41:14
  time.
• 41:14
  And
• 41:14
  I
• 41:14
  think
• 41:15
  that
• 41:15
  stopped
• 41:15
  him
• 41:16
  from
• 41:16
  becoming
• 41:16
  confident.
• 41:17
  And
• 41:18
  she
• 41:18
  never
• 41:18
  insisted
• 41:19
  that
• 41:19
  he
• 41:19
  develop
• 41:19
  a
• 41:20
  diagnosis
• 41:20
  capabilities.
• 41:23
  So
• 41:23
  she
• 41:23
  said
• 41:23
  she
• 41:24
  started
• 41:24
  small.
• 41:24
  She
• 41:25
  stopped
• 41:25
  doing
• 41:25
  his
• 41:25
  laundry.
• 41:26
  And
• 41:26
  she
• 41:26
  said,
• 41:26
  you
• 41:26
  have
• 41:27
  to
• 41:27
  do
• 41:27
  your
• 41:27
  laundry.
• 41:27
  And
• 41:28
  he
• 41:28
  was
• 41:28
  really
• 41:28
  mad.
• 41:30
  She
• 41:30
  said
• 41:30
  at
• 41:30
  first
• 41:31
  he
• 41:31
  just,
• 41:31
  you
• 41:31
  know,
• 41:32
  complained
• 41:32
  and
• 41:32
  stomped,
• 41:33
  stomped
• 41:33
  around.
• 41:34
  And
• 41:34
  she
• 41:34
  said,
• 41:35
  you
• 41:35
  know,
• 41:35
  he
• 41:35
  was
• 41:35
  furious.
• 41:36
  He
• 41:36
  said,
• 41:36
  you
• 41:36
  don't
• 41:37
  care,
• 41:37
  you're
• 41:37
  changing
• 41:38
  the
• 41:38
  rules.
• 41:38
  It's
• 41:39
  like,
• 41:39
  sir,
• 41:39
  you
• 41:39
  are
• 41:39
  28
• 41:40
  years
• 41:40
  old,
• 41:40
  you're
• 41:40
  26.
• 41:41
  Do
• 41:41
  your
• 41:41
  laundry,
• 41:42
  wash
• 41:42
  your
• 41:42
  underwear,
• 41:42
  Wash
• 41:43
  your
• 41:43
  underwear,
• 41:43
  for
• 41:43
  God's
• 41:44
  sake.
• 41:44
  Anyway,
• 41:45
  she
• 41:45
  said,
• 41:45
  finally,
• 41:46
  you
• 41:46
  know,
• 41:46
  he's
• 41:46
  adjusted
• 41:47
  and,
• 41:47
  and
• 41:48
  then
• 41:48
  a
• 41:48
  big
• 41:49
  breakthrough
• 41:49
  came
• 41:49
  when
• 41:50
  she
• 41:50
  cooked
• 41:50
  a
• 41:50
  dinner
• 41:51
  and
• 41:51
  he
• 41:51
  actually
• 41:51
  thanked
• 41:52
  her,
• 41:52
  which
• 41:52
  he
• 41:52
  had
• 41:53
  never
• 41:53
  done
• 41:53
  before.
• 41:53
  Oh
• 41:54
  my
• 41:54
  God.
• 41:54
  If
• 41:54
  that's
• 41:54
  the
• 41:54
  bar,
• 41:55
  the
• 41:55
  bar
• 41:55
  is
• 41:55
  the
• 41:55
  girl.
• 41:56
  If
• 41:56
  that
• 41:56
  is
• 41:56
  the
• 41:57
  bar.
• 41:57
  I
• 41:58
  know,
• 41:59
  I
• 41:59
  know.
• 41:59
  But
• 41:59
  she
• 41:59
  said
• 42:00
  she's
• 42:00
  now
• 42:00
  learning
• 42:01
  to
• 42:01
  love
• 42:01
  her
• 42:02
  son
• 42:02
  differently
• 42:02
  now
• 42:03
  as
• 42:04
  an
• 42:04
  adult
• 42:05
  and
• 42:05
  she
• 42:05
  has
• 42:05
  to
• 42:05
  let
• 42:06
  him
• 42:06
  go
• 42:06
  and
• 42:06
  trust
• 42:07
  him
• 42:07
  to
• 42:07
  navigate
• 42:08
  his
• 42:08
  own
• 42:08
  life.
• 42:10
  And
• 42:11
  the
• 42:12
  therapist
• 42:13
  says,
• 42:13
  who
• 42:13
  wrote
• 42:13
  this?
• 42:14
  She
• 42:14
  said,
• 42:14
  you
• 42:14
  know,
• 42:15
  extended
• 42:15
  closeness
• 42:16
  and
• 42:16
  involvement
• 42:16
  into
• 42:17
  adulthood
• 42:17
  can
• 42:18
  really
• 42:18
  Backfire.
• 42:19
  Kids.
• 42:20
  Parents
• 42:20
  feel
• 42:20
  resentful.
• 42:21
  Kids
• 42:21
  feel
• 42:22
  infantilized.
• 42:24
  You
• 42:24
  have
• 42:24
  to
• 42:24
  have,
• 42:25
  if
• 42:25
  your
• 42:25
  son
• 42:25
  or
• 42:26
  daughter
• 42:26
  is
• 42:26
  living
• 42:26
  at
• 42:26
  home,
• 42:27
  have
• 42:27
  conversations
• 42:28
  about
• 42:28
  money,
• 42:29
  chores,
• 42:29
  privacy,
• 42:30
  expectations,
• 42:32
  contributing
• 42:32
  to
• 42:32
  the
• 42:33
  household,
• 42:33
  that
• 42:33
  kind
• 42:34
  of
• 42:34
  thing.
• 42:36
  And
• 42:36
  you
• 42:36
  just
• 42:37
  have
• 42:37
  to,
• 42:37
  you
• 42:37
  know,
• 42:37
  if
• 42:38
  you
• 42:38
  have
• 42:38
  a
• 42:38
  young
• 42:39
  adult
• 42:39
  at
• 42:39
  home,
• 42:40
  the
• 42:40
  relationship
• 42:41
  just
• 42:41
  needs
• 42:41
  to
• 42:41
  evolve.
• 42:43
  And
• 42:43
  Anna
• 42:43
  Freud
• 42:44
  said.
• 42:45
  Who's
• 42:45
  Freud's
• 42:46
  daughter?
• 42:47
  Oh,
• 42:47
  okay.
• 42:48
  Nepotism.
• 42:48
  No.
• 42:49
  Well,
• 42:49
  yeah,
• 42:49
  she
• 42:49
  wasn't.
• 42:50
  She
• 42:50
  was
• 42:50
  also
• 42:50
  a
• 42:50
  very
• 42:51
  famous
• 42:52
  psychotherapist.
• 42:53
  Wow.
• 42:53
  But
• 42:53
  she
• 42:53
  said
• 42:54
  a
• 42:54
  mother's
• 42:54
  job
• 42:55
  is
• 42:55
  to
• 42:55
  be
• 42:56
  there
• 42:56
  to
• 42:56
  be
• 42:57
  left.
• 42:57
  We
• 42:58
  have
• 42:58
  to
• 42:58
  raise
• 42:58
  our
• 42:58
  kids
• 42:59
  to
• 42:59
  leave
• 42:59
  us.
• 43:00
  I
• 43:01
  know.
• 43:01
  Stake
• 43:01
  through
• 43:01
  my
• 43:02
  heart.
• 43:02
  I
• 43:02
  know.
• 43:03
  But
• 43:03
  that
• 43:03
  is
• 43:03
  what
• 43:03
  you
• 43:04
  need.
• 43:04
  I
• 43:04
  want
• 43:04
  my
• 43:04
  daughter
• 43:05
  to
• 43:05
  just
• 43:05
  stay
• 43:05
  with
• 43:05
  me.
• 43:06
  You
• 43:06
  don't.
• 43:07
  You
• 43:07
  have
• 43:07
  to
• 43:07
  raise
• 43:08
  her
• 43:08
  so
• 43:08
  that
• 43:09
  you
• 43:09
  need
• 43:09
  to
• 43:10
  teach
• 43:10
  her
• 43:10
  to
• 43:11
  do
• 43:11
  laundry.
• 43:12
  You
• 43:12
  have
• 43:12
  to
• 43:12
  teach
• 43:12
  her
• 43:13
  to
• 43:14
  cook,
• 43:14
  teach
• 43:15
  her
• 43:15
  to
• 43:15
  do
• 43:15
  things
• 43:16
  that
• 43:16
  someday
• 43:16
  she's
• 43:17
  going
• 43:17
  to
• 43:17
  have
• 43:17
  to
• 43:17
  do
• 43:17
  for
• 43:18
  herself.
• 43:18
  And
• 43:19
  you
• 43:19
  know
• 43:19
  the
• 43:19
  best
• 43:19
  time
• 43:20
  to
• 43:20
  teach
• 43:20
  a
• 43:20
  child
• 43:20
  to
• 43:21
  do
• 43:21
  those
• 43:21
  things?
• 43:22
  When
• 43:22
  they're
• 43:22
  toddlers.
• 43:23
  Toddlers.
• 43:23
  That's
• 43:24
  right.
• 43:24
  That's
• 43:24
  the
• 43:25
  time
• 43:25
  to
• 43:25
  get
• 43:25
  started,
• 43:25
  because
• 43:26
  that's
• 43:26
  when
• 43:26
  they
• 43:26
  want
• 43:26
  to
• 43:26
  help,
• 43:27
  and
• 43:27
  that's
• 43:27
  when
• 43:27
  they
• 43:27
  want
• 43:27
  to
• 43:27
  learn
• 43:28
  and
• 43:28
  they're
• 43:28
  actually
• 43:28
  interested.
• 43:29
  Yeah,
• 43:30
  exactly.
• 43:30
  When
• 43:31
  they
• 43:31
  become
• 43:31
  tweens,
• 43:31
  they're
• 43:32
  like,
• 43:32
  whatever,
• 43:32
  Mom.
• 43:32
  You
• 43:33
  do
• 43:33
  it
• 43:33
  well.
• 43:34
  And
• 43:34
  I
• 43:34
  think
• 43:34
  if
• 43:34
  you
• 43:34
  have
• 43:35
  your
• 43:35
  toddler
• 43:35
  making
• 43:35
  their
• 43:36
  bed
• 43:36
  every
• 43:36
  day
• 43:37
  as
• 43:37
  a
• 43:37
  habit,
• 43:38
  and
• 43:38
  it
• 43:38
  becomes
• 43:38
  a
• 43:38
  habit,
• 43:39
  then
• 43:39
  they
• 43:39
  won't
• 43:39
  want
• 43:39
  to
• 43:40
  have
• 43:40
  a
• 43:40
  messy
• 43:40
  bed.
• 43:41
  Yeah.
• 43:41
  I
• 43:41
  hate.
• 43:42
  Although
• 43:42
  I
• 43:42
  will
• 43:42
  say,
• 43:43
  it's
• 43:43
  so
• 43:43
  crazy.
• 43:43
  I
• 43:44
  didn't
• 43:44
  grow
• 43:44
  up
• 43:44
  like
• 43:45
  that
• 43:45
  until
• 43:45
  I
• 43:46
  had
• 43:46
  my
• 43:46
  own
• 43:47
  apartment.
• 43:47
  And
• 43:47
  I
• 43:47
  was
• 43:47
  like,
• 43:48
  oh,
• 43:48
  there's.
• 43:48
  There's
• 43:48
  no
• 43:48
  one
• 43:49
  here.
• 43:49
  No
• 43:49
  one's
• 43:49
  gonna
• 43:50
  clean
• 43:50
  for
• 43:50
  me.
• 43:50
  Yeah,
• 43:51
  it
• 43:51
  was.
• 43:51
  It
• 43:51
  was
• 43:52
  a
• 43:53
  watershed
• 43:53
  moment,
• 43:54
  as
• 43:54
  they
• 43:54
  say.
• 43:55
  You
• 43:55
  know,
• 43:55
  I
• 43:55
  did
• 43:56
  you
• 43:56
  such
• 43:56
  a
• 43:56
  disservice.
• 43:57
  I
• 43:57
  have
• 43:57
  to
• 43:58
  apologize
• 43:58
  for
• 43:58
  that.
• 43:59
  I
• 43:59
  really.
• 43:59
  You're
• 44:00
  forgiven.
• 44:00
  I
• 44:00
  know.
• 44:01
  I'm
• 44:01
  so
• 44:01
  sorry.
• 44:02
  You
• 44:02
  know,
• 44:02
  looking
• 44:03
  back,
• 44:03
  I
• 44:03
  did.
• 44:04
  I
• 44:04
  allowed
• 44:05
  us
• 44:06
  to
• 44:06
  clean
• 44:06
  your
• 44:07
  room
• 44:07
  for
• 44:07
  you.
• 44:08
  You
• 44:08
  know,
• 44:08
  I
• 44:08
  just
• 44:08
  let
• 44:09
  you
• 44:09
  make
• 44:09
  the
• 44:09
  room
• 44:09
  so
• 44:10
  dirty,
• 44:10
  and
• 44:11
  it
• 44:11
  was
• 44:11
  disgusting.
• 44:12
  You
• 44:12
  didn't
• 44:12
  do
• 44:12
  any.
• 44:13
  It
• 44:13
  was
• 44:13
  horrible.
• 44:14
  And
• 44:14
  I
• 44:14
  was
• 44:14
  like,
• 44:14
  whatever.
• 44:15
  I
• 44:15
  don't
• 44:15
  care.
• 44:15
  You
• 44:16
  didn't
• 44:16
  care.
• 44:16
  I
• 44:17
  didn't
• 44:17
  care.
• 44:17
  And
• 44:17
  I
• 44:17
  didn't
• 44:18
  understand
• 44:18
  that
• 44:18
  your
• 44:19
  messy
• 44:19
  room
• 44:20
  had
• 44:20
  anything
• 44:20
  to
• 44:20
  do
• 44:20
  with
• 44:21
  organization
• 44:22
  and
• 44:22
  adhd.
• 44:22
  I
• 44:23
  had
• 44:23
  no
• 44:23
  idea.
• 44:24
  I
• 44:24
  just
• 44:24
  thought,
• 44:24
  wow,
• 44:25
  she
• 44:25
  is
• 44:25
  a
• 44:25
  slob.
• 44:26
  Yeah.
• 44:27
  When
• 44:27
  will
• 44:28
  she
• 44:28
  ever
• 44:28
  stop
• 44:28
  being
• 44:29
  one?
• 44:29
  But
• 44:29
  I
• 44:29
  guess.
• 44:30
  I
• 44:30
  guess
• 44:30
  when
• 44:30
  you
• 44:30
  finally
• 44:30
  moved
• 44:31
  out.
• 44:31
  Necessity
• 44:31
  is
• 44:32
  the
• 44:32
  mother
• 44:32
  of
• 44:32
  invention.
• 44:33
  Yeah.
• 44:33
  But,
• 44:34
  you
• 44:34
  know.
• 44:34
  But
• 44:34
  I'm
• 44:35
  sorry,
• 44:35
  because
• 44:35
  I
• 44:36
  Blew
• 44:36
  that
• 44:36
  one.
• 44:36
  That's
• 44:37
  okay.
• 44:37
  Listen,
• 44:37
  you
• 44:38
  did
• 44:38
  your
• 44:38
  best.
• 44:38
  I.
• 44:39
  I
• 44:39
  did.
• 44:39
  You
• 44:39
  know
• 44:39
  what,
• 44:39
  Tina?
• 44:40
  I'm
• 44:40
  gonna
• 44:40
  go.
• 44:40
  No
• 44:40
  contact.
• 44:41
  Don't,
• 44:41
  Don't.
• 44:42
  I
• 44:42
  will.
• 44:43
  I
• 44:43
  will
• 44:43
  find
• 44:44
  you.
• 44:44
  I
• 44:44
  will
• 44:45
  not
• 44:45
  let
• 44:45
  you
• 44:45
  go.
• 44:45
  No
• 44:46
  contact.
• 44:46
  Toxic.
• 44:48
  That
• 44:48
  was.
• 44:48
  I
• 44:49
  was
• 44:49
  toxic.
• 44:49
  No,
• 44:50
  I'm
• 44:50
  sure
• 44:51
  I.
• 44:51
  I
• 44:51
  made
• 44:51
  lots
• 44:51
  of
• 44:52
  mistakes.
• 44:52
  I
• 44:52
  mean,
• 44:52
  you
• 44:52
  know,
• 44:53
  and
• 44:53
  you
• 44:54
  too.
• 44:54
  Yeah,
• 44:54
  I'm
• 44:54
  sure
• 44:55
  I
• 44:55
  will.
• 44:55
  I'm
• 44:55
  sure.
• 44:55
  Sure.
• 44:55
  I
• 44:55
  already
• 44:56
  have.
• 44:56
  I
• 44:56
  almost
• 44:56
  burned
• 44:57
  our
• 44:57
  house
• 44:57
  down
• 44:57
  today.
• 44:58
  Exactly.
• 44:58
  Again.
• 44:59
  Again.
• 45:00
  No,
• 45:00
  but.
• 45:01
  Okay,
• 45:02
  so
• 45:02
  I
• 45:02
  do
• 45:02
  think
• 45:02
  what
• 45:03
  this.
• 45:03
  An
• 45:03
  article
• 45:04
  like
• 45:04
  this
• 45:04
  does
• 45:04
  remind
• 45:05
  you
• 45:05
  of
• 45:05
  is,
• 45:06
  you
• 45:06
  know,
• 45:07
  teach
• 45:07
  them
• 45:07
  to
• 45:08
  do
• 45:08
  these
• 45:08
  things
• 45:08
  in.
• 45:09
  In
• 45:09
  their
• 45:09
  childhood
• 45:10
  and
• 45:10
  give
• 45:10
  them
• 45:11
  chores,
• 45:11
  give
• 45:12
  them
• 45:12
  responsibilities,
• 45:13
  so
• 45:14
  that
• 45:14
  by
• 45:14
  the
• 45:14
  time
• 45:15
  they
• 45:15
  are
• 45:15
  young
• 45:15
  adults,
• 45:16
  they
• 45:16
  have
• 45:17
  some
• 45:17
  idea
• 45:17
  of
• 45:18
  how
• 45:18
  to
• 45:18
  take
• 45:18
  care
• 45:18
  of
• 45:18
  themselves.
• 45:19
  Yeah.
• 45:19
  So
• 45:19
  I
• 45:19
  think.
• 45:20
  And
• 45:20
  they'll
• 45:20
  get
• 45:20
  better
• 45:20
  as
• 45:21
  they
• 45:21
  go.
• 45:21
  Right.
• 45:22
  But
• 45:22
  they
• 45:22
  need
• 45:22
  the
• 45:22
  foundation
• 45:23
  and
• 45:23
  they
• 45:24
  need
• 45:24
  the
• 45:24
  motivation.
• 45:25
  Yes.
• 45:26
  Yes.
• 45:26
  Now,
• 45:28
  the
• 45:29
  therapist
• 45:29
  who
• 45:30
  wrote
• 45:30
  this
• 45:30
  article
• 45:30
  says
• 45:31
  also
• 45:32
  points
• 45:32
  out,
• 45:32
  which
• 45:32
  is
• 45:33
  true,
• 45:33
  sometimes
• 45:34
  it's
• 45:34
  the
• 45:34
  parent,
• 45:34
  not
• 45:35
  the
• 45:35
  child,
• 45:35
  who
• 45:35
  has
• 45:36
  not
• 45:36
  matured.
• 45:37
  Adult
• 45:37
  children
• 45:38
  with
• 45:38
  immature
• 45:38
  or
• 45:39
  narcissistic
• 45:39
  parents
• 45:40
  often
• 45:40
  end
• 45:40
  up
• 45:41
  as
• 45:41
  caretakers
• 45:42
  who
• 45:42
  must
• 45:42
  try
• 45:42
  to
• 45:43
  placate
• 45:43
  their
• 45:43
  parents
• 45:44
  who
• 45:44
  were
• 45:44
  meant
• 45:44
  to
• 45:45
  protect
• 45:45
  them.
• 45:45
  Kind
• 45:46
  of
• 45:46
  like
• 45:46
  some
• 45:46
  of
• 45:46
  the
• 45:46
  bad
• 45:46
  parents
• 45:47
  we've
• 45:47
  been
• 45:47
  hearing
• 45:47
  about.
• 45:49
  You
• 45:50
  know,
• 45:50
  you
• 45:50
  may
• 45:50
  not
• 45:50
  have
• 45:50
  a
• 45:50
  perfect
• 45:51
  parent,
• 45:52
  and
• 45:53
  that's
• 45:53
  the
• 45:54
  way
• 45:54
  it
• 45:54
  is.
• 45:55
  Yeah,
• 45:55
  but
• 45:55
  it's
• 45:55
  like,
• 45:55
  again,
• 45:56
  in
• 45:56
  those
• 45:57
  moments,
• 45:57
  it's
• 45:57
  like
• 45:57
  we
• 45:58
  can't
• 45:58
  expect
• 45:58
  for
• 45:59
  perfection
• 45:59
  from
• 45:59
  people
• 46:00
  when
• 46:00
  we
• 46:01
  are
• 46:01
  not
• 46:01
  perfect
• 46:02
  ourselves.
• 46:03
  That's
• 46:03
  true.
• 46:03
  That's
• 46:04
  true.
• 46:05
  And
• 46:05
  she
• 46:06
  talks
• 46:06
  about
• 46:06
  how
• 46:07
  you
• 46:07
  handle
• 46:07
  it
• 46:07
  when
• 46:07
  your
• 46:08
  worldview
• 46:08
  and
• 46:09
  your
• 46:09
  child's
• 46:09
  worldviews
• 46:10
  diverge,
• 46:11
  like
• 46:12
  politics,
• 46:12
  religion,
• 46:13
  gender,
• 46:14
  lifestyle
• 46:14
  choices.
• 46:15
  She
• 46:15
  said,
• 46:16
  love
• 46:16
  does
• 46:16
  not
• 46:16
  mean
• 46:17
  agreement,
• 46:17
  it
• 46:18
  means
• 46:18
  allowing
• 46:18
  differences.
• 46:19
  When
• 46:19
  you
• 46:20
  try
• 46:20
  to
• 46:20
  win.
• 46:20
  Win
• 46:20
  that
• 46:21
  argument,
• 46:21
  you
• 46:21
  risk
• 46:22
  the
• 46:22
  relationship.
• 46:22
  Well,
• 46:23
  yeah,
• 46:23
  that's.
• 46:23
  That's
• 46:23
  why
• 46:23
  they
• 46:24
  say
• 46:24
  it
• 46:24
  is
• 46:24
  unconditional
• 46:25
  love.
• 46:25
  Although
• 46:25
  I
• 46:25
  don't
• 46:25
  think
• 46:25
  unconditional
• 46:26
  love
• 46:26
  is
• 46:26
  a
• 46:26
  real
• 46:27
  thing.
• 46:27
  Really?
• 46:28
  Yeah.
• 46:28
  I
• 46:28
  think
• 46:29
  you
• 46:29
  have
• 46:29
  to,
• 46:29
  like,
• 46:30
  be
• 46:30
  decent
• 46:31
  in
• 46:31
  whoever
• 46:31
  you
• 46:32
  are.
• 46:32
  Oh,
• 46:32
  okay.
• 46:32
  Yeah.
• 46:33
  If
• 46:33
  you're
• 46:34
  like
• 46:34
  a
• 46:34
  person
• 46:34
  who's
• 46:35
  like,
• 46:35
  I.
• 46:35
  My
• 46:36
  belief
• 46:36
  system
• 46:37
  is
• 46:37
  that
• 46:37
  I
• 46:37
  can
• 46:38
  stab
• 46:38
  anyone
• 46:39
  I
• 46:39
  want.
• 46:39
  It's
• 46:40
  like,
• 46:40
  that
• 46:40
  does
• 46:40
  not
• 46:40
  require
• 46:41
  acceptance.
• 46:41
  No,
• 46:42
  it's
• 46:42
  true.
• 46:43
  Yeah,
• 46:43
  you're
• 46:44
  right.
• 46:44
  You're
• 46:44
  right.
• 46:44
  So
• 46:45
  she
• 46:45
  says,
• 46:45
  you
• 46:46
  know,
• 46:46
  she
• 46:46
  says,
• 46:46
  if
• 46:47
  you
• 46:47
  know,
• 46:47
  when
• 46:47
  you're
• 46:48
  disagreeing,
• 46:48
  when
• 46:49
  your
• 46:49
  child
• 46:49
  says
• 46:50
  something
• 46:50
  that
• 46:50
  you
• 46:51
  really
• 46:51
  disagree
• 46:51
  with,
• 46:52
  be
• 46:52
  curious,
• 46:53
  but
• 46:54
  don't
• 46:54
  try
• 46:54
  to
• 46:54
  win
• 46:54
  the
• 46:54
  argument.
• 46:55
  It's
• 46:55
  not
• 46:56
  worth
• 46:56
  it.
• 46:56
  Yeah,
• 46:57
  it's
• 46:57
  not
• 46:58
  worth
• 46:58
  it.
• 46:59
  Right.
• 46:59
  And
• 46:59
  she
• 46:59
  says
• 47:00
  in
• 47:00
  the
• 47:00
  closest
• 47:00
  families,
• 47:01
  there
• 47:01
  are
• 47:01
  There
• 47:02
  will
• 47:02
  be
• 47:02
  conflict.
• 47:03
  Don't
• 47:03
  argue
• 47:04
  or
• 47:04
  try
• 47:04
  to.
• 47:05
  I
• 47:05
  mean,
• 47:05
  you
• 47:05
  can
• 47:05
  disagree,
• 47:06
  you
• 47:06
  can
• 47:06
  talk
• 47:06
  about
• 47:07
  it,
• 47:07
  but
• 47:07
  don't
• 47:08
  try
• 47:08
  to
• 47:08
  win
• 47:09
  or
• 47:09
  withdraw.
• 47:10
  Instead,
• 47:10
  just
• 47:11
  acknowledge.
• 47:11
  Especially
• 47:12
  if
• 47:12
  they're
• 47:12
  mad
• 47:12
  at.
• 47:13
  Acknowledge
• 47:13
  your
• 47:13
  part.
• 47:14
  Listen,
• 47:15
  apologize
• 47:16
  when
• 47:16
  you
• 47:16
  need
• 47:16
  to
• 47:16
  repair
• 47:17
  after
• 47:17
  conflict.
• 47:19
  Parenting
• 47:20
  doesn't
• 47:20
  end
• 47:20
  as
• 47:20
  your
• 47:21
  child
• 47:21
  gets
• 47:21
  older,
• 47:21
  it
• 47:22
  just
• 47:22
  matures.
• 47:22
  And
• 47:22
  you
• 47:23
  need
• 47:23
  to
• 47:23
  show
• 47:23
  up
• 47:24
  later
• 47:25
  not
• 47:25
  as
• 47:25
  the
• 47:25
  all
• 47:26
  knowing
• 47:26
  parent,
• 47:26
  cause
• 47:27
  you
• 47:27
  are
• 47:27
  not
• 47:27
  that
• 47:28
  anymore,
• 47:29
  but
• 47:29
  as
• 47:29
  a
• 47:29
  fellow
• 47:30
  human
• 47:30
  being
• 47:30
  who's
• 47:31
  also
• 47:31
  growing.
• 47:32
  So
• 47:32
  you
• 47:32
  have
• 47:33
  to
• 47:33
  change
• 47:33
  your
• 47:34
  relationship
• 47:34
  with
• 47:34
  your
• 47:35
  child
• 47:35
  or.
• 47:35
  Two
• 47:35
  pots.
• 47:36
  Two
• 47:36
  plants
• 47:36
  in
• 47:37
  a
• 47:37
  pot.
• 47:38
  Yeah.
• 47:38
  What
• 47:39
  does
• 47:39
  that
• 47:39
  mean?
• 47:39
  I
• 47:40
  don't
• 47:40
  know.
• 47:40
  Here's
• 47:41
  one
• 47:41
  pot.
• 47:42
  I'm
• 47:42
  a
• 47:42
  plant,
• 47:42
  you're
• 47:43
  a
• 47:43
  plant.
• 47:43
  We
• 47:43
  share
• 47:43
  a
• 47:44
  pot.
• 47:44
  That's
• 47:44
  true.
• 47:45
  Yeah.
• 47:45
  I
• 47:45
  don't
• 47:45
  know
• 47:45
  a
• 47:46
  hump
• 47:46
  and
• 47:46
  I
• 47:47
  don't
• 47:47
  know
• 47:47
  where
• 47:47
  I
• 47:47
  was.
• 47:47
  We
• 47:47
  get
• 47:47
  along.
• 47:48
  We
• 47:48
  get
• 47:48
  along,
• 47:49
  we
• 47:49
  share
• 47:49
  a
• 47:49
  pot,
• 47:49
  we
• 47:50
  make
• 47:50
  it
• 47:50
  work.
• 47:50
  Yeah.
• 47:50
  You
• 47:51
  know,
• 47:51
  we're
• 47:51
  part
• 47:51
  of
• 47:51
  a
• 47:52
  family
• 47:52
  and
• 47:52
  like
• 47:53
  sometimes
• 47:54
  you
• 47:54
  take
• 47:54
  up
• 47:54
  too
• 47:54
  much
• 47:55
  space
• 47:55
  in
• 47:55
  the
• 47:55
  pot.
• 47:55
  Sometimes
• 47:56
  I
• 47:56
  take
• 47:56
  up
• 47:56
  too
• 47:56
  much
• 47:57
  space
• 47:57
  in
• 47:57
  the
• 47:57
  pot.
• 47:57
  But
• 47:58
  ultimately
• 47:58
  we're
• 47:58
  in
• 47:59
  this
• 47:59
  pot
• 47:59
  together.
• 47:59
  Right.
• 48:00
  And
• 48:00
  I
• 48:01
  accept
• 48:01
  you.
• 48:01
  I
• 48:02
  mean,
• 48:02
  I
• 48:02
  generally
• 48:03
  accept
• 48:03
  you.
• 48:04
  You
• 48:05
  know,
• 48:05
  I
• 48:05
  may
• 48:05
  disagree
• 48:06
  every
• 48:06
  once
• 48:06
  in
• 48:06
  a
• 48:06
  while,
• 48:06
  but
• 48:07
  I
• 48:07
  actually
• 48:07
  have
• 48:07
  to.
• 48:08
  I
• 48:08
  find
• 48:08
  myself
• 48:09
  now
• 48:09
  that
• 48:09
  you're
• 48:09
  all
• 48:09
  grown
• 48:10
  up,
• 48:10
  up,
• 48:11
  kind
• 48:11
  of
• 48:11
  holding
• 48:12
  back
• 48:12
  a
• 48:12
  little
• 48:12
  bit
• 48:13
  and
• 48:13
  like
• 48:13
  having
• 48:13
  to
• 48:13
  try
• 48:14
  to
• 48:14
  really
• 48:14
  think
• 48:14
  about
• 48:15
  respecting
• 48:15
  your
• 48:16
  boundaries,
• 48:17
  which
• 48:17
  I
• 48:17
  never
• 48:17
  thought
• 48:18
  about
• 48:18
  before.
• 48:18
  Like
• 48:19
  sometimes
• 48:19
  I
• 48:19
  want
• 48:20
  to
• 48:20
  just
• 48:20
  show
• 48:20
  up
• 48:20
  at
• 48:20
  your
• 48:20
  house
• 48:21
  like
• 48:21
  hi.
• 48:22
  And
• 48:22
  you
• 48:23
  know,
• 48:23
  but
• 48:23
  I
• 48:23
  realized
• 48:23
  I
• 48:24
  can't
• 48:24
  just
• 48:24
  do
• 48:24
  that,
• 48:25
  you
• 48:25
  know,
• 48:25
  that's
• 48:25
  not
• 48:25
  right.
• 48:26
  Well,
• 48:26
  yeah,
• 48:26
  because
• 48:26
  I'm
• 48:26
  grown
• 48:27
  now
• 48:27
  and
• 48:28
  I
• 48:28
  have
• 48:28
  a
• 48:28
  family
• 48:28
  and
• 48:29
  you
• 48:29
  have
• 48:29
  your
• 48:29
  own.
• 48:29
  I
• 48:29
  can't.
• 48:30
  And
• 48:30
  I
• 48:30
  have
• 48:30
  chaotic
• 48:31
  dogs
• 48:31
  who,
• 48:31
  if
• 48:31
  you
• 48:31
  show
• 48:32
  up
• 48:32
  without
• 48:32
  warning,
• 48:33
  will
• 48:33
  lose
• 48:34
  their
• 48:34
  minds.
• 48:34
  Oh,
• 48:35
  they'll
• 48:35
  bark
• 48:35
  at
• 48:35
  me,
• 48:35
  but
• 48:35
  they'll,
• 48:36
  they'll
• 48:36
  be
• 48:36
  okay.
• 48:37
  Yeah,
• 48:37
  they
• 48:37
  will.
• 48:38
  They'll
• 48:38
  be
• 48:38
  fine.
• 48:38
  Like,
• 48:38
  oh,
• 48:38
  great
• 48:38
  Grandma.
• 48:39
  Grandma.
• 48:39
  It's
• 48:40
  grandma.
• 48:40
  Yeah,
• 48:40
  yeah.
• 48:41
  But
• 48:41
  then
• 48:41
  they'll
• 48:41
  lose
• 48:41
  their
• 48:41
  minds
• 48:42
  even
• 48:42
  more
• 48:42
  out
• 48:42
  of
• 48:42
  excitement.
• 48:43
  I
• 48:43
  have
• 48:43
  to
• 48:43
  like
• 48:44
  psychologically
• 48:44
  prepare
• 48:45
  my
• 48:45
  dogs
• 48:45
  for
• 48:45
  people
• 48:46
  to
• 48:46
  enter
• 48:46
  the
• 48:46
  apartment.
• 48:47
  Okay,
• 48:47
  okay.
• 48:48
  But
• 48:48
  it's
• 48:48
  like
• 48:48
  I,
• 48:49
  you
• 48:49
  know,
• 48:49
  I
• 48:49
  realize
• 48:49
  now
• 48:50
  I
• 48:50
  do
• 48:50
  have
• 48:50
  to
• 48:50
  treat
• 48:51
  you
• 48:51
  differently.
• 48:52
  You
• 48:52
  know,
• 48:52
  you're
• 48:52
  your
• 48:53
  own
• 48:53
  person,
• 48:53
  you're
• 48:54
  autonomous,
• 48:54
  you've
• 48:55
  got
• 48:55
  your
• 48:55
  own
• 48:55
  life.
• 48:56
  And
• 48:56
  I,
• 48:57
  you
• 48:57
  know,
• 48:57
  I
• 48:57
  can't
• 48:57
  tell
• 48:57
  you
• 48:58
  what
• 48:58
  to
• 48:58
  do
• 48:58
  anymore.
• 48:59
  You
• 48:59
  could
• 48:59
  never
• 48:59
  tell
• 49:00
  me
• 49:00
  what
• 49:00
  to
• 49:00
  do.
• 49:00
  I
• 49:00
  love
• 49:01
  you
• 49:01
  and
• 49:01
  you
• 49:01
  tried,
• 49:02
  God
• 49:02
  bless
• 49:02
  you.
• 49:02
  But
• 49:03
  no
• 49:03
  one
• 49:03
  could
• 49:04
  ever
• 49:04
  tell
• 49:04
  me
• 49:05
  what
• 49:05
  to
• 49:05
  do.
• 49:06
  Well,
• 49:06
  that
• 49:07
  is
• 49:07
  true.
• 49:07
  That's
• 49:08
  true.
• 49:08
  And
• 49:08
  I
• 49:08
  will
• 49:08
  tell
• 49:08
  you
• 49:09
  Something.
• 49:09
  This
• 49:09
  is
• 49:09
  a
• 49:10
  piece
• 49:10
  of.
• 49:10
  Someone
• 49:10
  told
• 49:11
  me
• 49:11
  this.
• 49:11
  I
• 49:12
  want
• 49:12
  to
• 49:12
  tell
• 49:12
  you
• 49:12
  this
• 49:13
  now
• 49:13
  as
• 49:13
  I'm
• 49:13
  aging.
• 49:14
  Okay.
• 49:15
  Well,
• 49:15
  I'm
• 49:15
  getting
• 49:15
  older.
• 49:16
  And
• 49:17
  one
• 49:17
  of
• 49:17
  the
• 49:17
  things
• 49:17
  somebody
• 49:18
  once
• 49:18
  told
• 49:18
  me
• 49:19
  was
• 49:19
  that
• 49:19
  if
• 49:20
  your
• 49:20
  parents
• 49:20
  give
• 49:20
  you
• 49:21
  advice,
• 49:21
  your
• 49:21
  older
• 49:22
  parents,
• 49:22
  especially
• 49:22
  as
• 49:23
  they're
• 49:23
  getting
• 49:23
  really
• 49:23
  old,
• 49:25
  you
• 49:25
  should
• 49:25
  listen,
• 49:26
  you
• 49:26
  should
• 49:26
  ask
• 49:26
  for
• 49:27
  their
• 49:27
  advice,
• 49:28
  because
• 49:28
  older
• 49:28
  people
• 49:29
  need
• 49:29
  to
• 49:29
  feel
• 49:30
  needed.
• 49:31
  And
• 49:31
  so
• 49:31
  as
• 49:31
  I'm
• 49:32
  getting
• 49:32
  older,
• 49:33
  at
• 49:33
  least
• 49:34
  pretend
• 49:34
  to
• 49:35
  listen
• 49:35
  to
• 49:35
  my
• 49:35
  advice.
• 49:36
  Do
• 49:36
  you
• 49:36
  not
• 49:37
  feel
• 49:37
  needed?
• 49:38
  Well,
• 49:38
  no,
• 49:38
  I
• 49:39
  do
• 49:39
  now
• 49:39
  still.
• 49:40
  But
• 49:40
  I
• 49:40
  remember
• 49:41
  when.
• 49:41
  When
• 49:41
  my
• 49:41
  mom,
• 49:42
  you
• 49:42
  know,
• 49:42
  as
• 49:43
  she
• 49:43
  was
• 49:43
  older
• 49:44
  and,
• 49:44
  you
• 49:44
  know,
• 49:45
  living
• 49:45
  far
• 49:45
  away,
• 49:46
  a
• 49:46
  lot
• 49:46
  of
• 49:46
  times
• 49:46
  she
• 49:47
  would
• 49:47
  give
• 49:47
  me
• 49:47
  advice
• 49:48
  that
• 49:48
  I
• 49:49
  didn't
• 49:49
  want
• 49:50
  to
• 49:50
  follow,
• 49:50
  but
• 49:51
  I
• 49:51
  always
• 49:51
  listened,
• 49:52
  and
• 49:53
  I
• 49:53
  listened
• 49:54
  to
• 49:54
  her
• 49:54
  advice,
• 49:54
  and
• 49:55
  I
• 49:55
  considered
• 49:56
  it,
• 49:57
  and
• 49:57
  I
• 49:57
  think
• 49:57
  that
• 49:58
  helped
• 49:58
  her
• 49:58
  feel
• 49:59
  needed.
• 50:00
  And
• 50:00
  now
• 50:00
  that
• 50:00
  she's
• 50:01
  gone,
• 50:01
  I
• 50:02
  wish
• 50:02
  I
• 50:02
  could
• 50:02
  have
• 50:03
  her
• 50:03
  advice.
• 50:03
  There
• 50:03
  are
• 50:04
  so
• 50:04
  many
• 50:04
  times
• 50:04
  when
• 50:05
  I
• 50:05
  go,
• 50:05
  mom,
• 50:06
  where
• 50:06
  are
• 50:06
  you?
• 50:07
  I
• 50:07
  need
• 50:07
  to
• 50:07
  ask
• 50:07
  you
• 50:07
  a
• 50:07
  question.
• 50:08
  Question?
• 50:08
  Yeah.
• 50:09
  And
• 50:09
  it
• 50:09
  makes
• 50:09
  me
• 50:09
  sad.
• 50:10
  So
• 50:10
  I
• 50:10
  think,
• 50:10
  you
• 50:11
  know,
• 50:11
  if
• 50:11
  you
• 50:11
  have
• 50:11
  a
• 50:12
  mother
• 50:12
  or
• 50:13
  father
• 50:13
  and
• 50:13
  they
• 50:13
  want
• 50:14
  to
• 50:14
  give
• 50:14
  you
• 50:14
  advice,
• 50:14
  just
• 50:15
  listen,
• 50:16
  even
• 50:16
  if
• 50:17
  humor
• 50:17
  them,
• 50:18
  because
• 50:18
  they
• 50:18
  feel
• 50:19
  needed
• 50:19
  when
• 50:19
  you
• 50:20
  do
• 50:20
  that.
• 50:20
  Well,
• 50:20
  I
• 50:20
  do
• 50:21
  need
• 50:21
  you,
• 50:21
  and
• 50:21
  I
• 50:21
  don't
• 50:22
  have
• 50:22
  to
• 50:22
  pretend
• 50:22
  I
• 50:22
  need
• 50:23
  you.
• 50:23
  Okay,
• 50:23
  good.
• 50:24
  Because
• 50:24
  I
• 50:24
  actually
• 50:25
  need
• 50:25
  you.
• 50:26
  That's
• 50:26
  good.
• 50:26
  I.
• 50:27
  I
• 50:27
  want
• 50:27
  you
• 50:27
  to
• 50:27
  need.
• 50:28
  And
• 50:28
  I.
• 50:28
  You
• 50:28
  know,
• 50:28
  and
• 50:28
  I
• 50:28
  need
• 50:29
  you
• 50:29
  just.
• 50:29
  Just
• 50:29
  as
• 50:30
  much.
• 50:30
  I
• 50:30
  mean,
• 50:30
  the
• 50:30
  relationship
• 50:31
  changes.
• 50:31
  Yeah,
• 50:32
  totally.
• 50:32
  It
• 50:33
  does.
• 50:33
  Totally.
• 50:33
  It
• 50:33
  does.
• 50:34
  Does.
• 50:35
  And,
• 50:35
  guys,
• 50:35
  just
• 50:36
  so
• 50:36
  you
• 50:36
  know,
• 50:36
  we're
• 50:37
  gonna
• 50:37
  be
• 50:37
  going
• 50:37
  no
• 50:37
  contact
• 50:38
  with
• 50:38
  you
• 50:39
  for
• 50:39
  a
• 50:40
  week
• 50:41
  in
• 50:41
  between
• 50:41
  season
• 50:42
  one
• 50:42
  and
• 50:42
  season
• 50:42
  two,
• 50:42
  because
• 50:43
  we're
• 50:43
  just
• 50:43
  people.
• 50:44
  And
• 50:44
  we
• 50:44
  also
• 50:44
  need
• 50:45
  a
• 50:45
  break.
• 50:45
  We
• 50:45
  get
• 50:46
  a
• 50:46
  break.
• 50:46
  We
• 50:46
  get
• 50:46
  a
• 50:47
  break
• 50:47
  for
• 50:47
  one
• 50:47
  week.
• 50:48
  Two
• 50:48
  weeks
• 50:48
  a
• 50:48
  year
• 50:49
  in
• 50:49
  between
• 50:49
  seasons.
• 50:50
  That's.
• 50:50
  That's
• 50:51
  our
• 50:51
  plan.
• 50:51
  Presuming
• 50:52
  we
• 50:52
  get
• 50:52
  re.
• 50:52
  Renewed.
• 50:53
  Right.
• 50:54
  Right.
• 50:54
  Well,
• 50:55
  keep
• 50:55
  tuning
• 50:55
  in.
• 50:56
  We're
• 50:56
  renewed
• 50:57
  for
• 50:57
  season
• 50:57
  two.
• 50:57
  For
• 50:58
  season
• 50:58
  two.
• 50:58
  But
• 50:58
  I'm
• 50:58
  talking
• 50:59
  season
• 50:59
  three.
• 50:59
  I'm
• 51:00
  talking
• 51:00
  season
• 51:00
  four,
• 51:01
  five,
• 51:01
  six,
• 51:02
  seven,
• 51:02
  who
• 51:03
  knows?
• 51:03
  We're
• 51:03
  gonna
• 51:04
  take
• 51:04
  a
• 51:04
  week
• 51:04
  off.
• 51:04
  We're
• 51:05
  gonna
• 51:05
  take
• 51:05
  two
• 51:05
  weeks
• 51:06
  off
• 51:06
  a
• 51:06
  year.
• 51:06
  That's
• 51:07
  right.
• 51:07
  Next
• 51:07
  week
• 51:07
  being
• 51:08
  one
• 51:08
  of
• 51:08
  them.
• 51:08
  Okay.
• 51:09
  We
• 51:09
  don't
• 51:10
  have
• 51:10
  to
• 51:10
  read
• 51:10
  for
• 51:10
  a
• 51:11
  week.
• 51:11
  No.
• 51:11
  But
• 51:12
  feel
• 51:12
  free
• 51:12
  in
• 51:13
  your
• 51:13
  week
• 51:13
  off
• 51:13
  to
• 51:13
  write
• 51:14
  to
• 51:14
  us
• 51:14
  at
• 51:14
  anything
• 51:15
  at
• 51:16
  other
• 51:16
  people's
• 51:16
  parenting
• 51:17
  dot
• 51:17
  com.
• 51:18
  You
• 51:18
  can
• 51:19
  tell
• 51:19
  us
• 51:19
  that
• 51:19
  you
• 51:19
  miss
• 51:20
  us.
• 51:20
  You
• 51:20
  can
• 51:21
  suggest
• 51:21
  things
• 51:21
  for
• 51:22
  season
• 51:22
  two.
• 51:22
  We
• 51:23
  are
• 51:23
  really
• 51:23
  still
• 51:23
  in
• 51:24
  the
• 51:24
  market
• 51:24
  for
• 51:25
  season
• 51:25
  two
• 51:25
  book.
• 51:26
  Yeah,
• 51:26
  we're
• 51:26
  trying
• 51:27
  to
• 51:27
  figure
• 51:27
  out
• 51:27
  which
• 51:28
  books
• 51:28
  we're
• 51:28
  gonna
• 51:28
  read.
• 51:28
  Yeah.
• 51:29
  Cause,
• 51:29
  like,
• 51:29
  we
• 51:29
  want
• 51:29
  to
• 51:29
  include
• 51:30
  you
• 51:30
  guys
• 51:30
  in
• 51:30
  this
• 51:30
  process.
• 51:31
  So
• 51:32
  tell
• 51:32
  us
• 51:32
  about
• 51:32
  good
• 51:33
  ones.
• 51:33
  Tell
• 51:33
  us
• 51:33
  about
• 51:34
  good
• 51:34
  ones.
• 51:34
  Tell
• 51:35
  us
• 51:35
  about
• 51:35
  short
• 51:36
  ones.
• 51:37
  Tell
• 51:37
  us
• 51:37
  about
• 51:38
  books
• 51:39
  that
• 51:39
  have
• 51:40
  changed
• 51:40
  your
• 51:41
  life
• 51:41
  in
• 51:41
  terms
• 51:42
  of
• 51:42
  your
• 51:42
  parenting
• 51:42
  and
• 51:43
  your
• 51:43
  parenting
• 51:43
  style.
• 51:44
  Like,
• 51:44
  we
• 51:44
  want
• 51:44
  the
• 51:45
  best
• 51:45
  of
• 51:45
  the
• 51:45
  best.
• 51:46
  Also,
• 51:46
  we
• 51:46
  want
• 51:47
  ones
• 51:47
  that
• 51:47
  are
• 51:47
  crazy.
• 51:48
  We
• 51:48
  want
• 51:49
  anything
• 51:49
  that
• 51:49
  you
• 51:50
  have
• 51:50
  that
• 51:51
  you
• 51:51
  think
• 51:51
  would
• 51:51
  be
• 51:52
  fun
• 51:52
  for
• 51:52
  us
• 51:52
  to
• 51:52
  cover.
• 51:52
  Because
• 51:53
  ultimately,
• 51:54
  this
• 51:54
  is
• 51:54
  a
• 51:55
  public
• 51:55
  service.
• 51:56
  It
• 51:56
  is.
• 51:57
  We're
• 51:57
  trying
• 51:57
  to
• 51:57
  help
• 51:58
  all
• 51:58
  of
• 51:58
  us
• 51:58
  become
• 51:59
  better
• 51:59
  parents.
• 52:00
  Yeah.
• 52:00
  Including
• 52:01
  ourselves.
• 52:01
  Including
• 52:02
  me.
• 52:02
  I'm.
• 52:02
  I'm
• 52:03
  learning
• 52:03
  so
• 52:03
  much.
• 52:03
  I'm
• 52:04
  trying
• 52:04
  to
• 52:04
  be
• 52:04
  a
• 52:04
  better
• 52:04
  parent.
• 52:05
  Me,
• 52:05
  too.
• 52:05
  Honestly,
• 52:06
  I
• 52:06
  feel
• 52:06
  like
• 52:06
  I've
• 52:06
  learned
• 52:07
  so
• 52:07
  much
• 52:07
  this
• 52:07
  season.
• 52:07
  I
• 52:08
  have
• 52:08
  taken
• 52:08
  a
• 52:08
  couple
• 52:09
  things
• 52:09
  from
• 52:09
  each
• 52:09
  book.
• 52:10
  I've
• 52:10
  rejected
• 52:11
  many
• 52:11
  things
• 52:12
  from
• 52:12
  many
• 52:12
  books.
• 52:13
  Yes.
• 52:13
  But
• 52:13
  it's
• 52:13
  interesting.
• 52:14
  Like,
• 52:14
  developing
• 52:14
  a
• 52:15
  parenting
• 52:15
  style
• 52:15
  really
• 52:16
  does
• 52:16
  take.
• 52:16
  It's
• 52:16
  like,
• 52:16
  okay,
• 52:17
  here's
• 52:17
  all
• 52:17
  the
• 52:17
  information.
• 52:18
  I
• 52:18
  like
• 52:18
  this.
• 52:18
  I
• 52:18
  like
• 52:18
  this.
• 52:19
  Like
• 52:19
  this.
• 52:19
  Hate
• 52:19
  that.
• 52:20
  Right.
• 52:20
  Maybe
• 52:21
  I'll
• 52:21
  employ
• 52:21
  this
• 52:22
  if
• 52:22
  I'm
• 52:22
  desperate.
• 52:22
  What's
• 52:23
  the
• 52:23
  biggest
• 52:23
  thing
• 52:24
  you
• 52:24
  have?
• 52:25
  Have
• 52:25
  you
• 52:25
  already
• 52:25
  employed
• 52:26
  any
• 52:26
  of
• 52:26
  it?
• 52:27
  Yeah,
• 52:27
  I've
• 52:27
  employed
• 52:27
  stuff
• 52:28
  about
• 52:28
  eating.
• 52:29
  When.
• 52:30
  When
• 52:30
  my
• 52:30
  baby
• 52:30
  gets
• 52:31
  older,
• 52:31
  I
• 52:31
  want
• 52:31
  her
• 52:32
  to.
• 52:32
  To
• 52:32
  teach
• 52:32
  her
• 52:32
  how
• 52:33
  to
• 52:33
  be
• 52:33
  helpful.
• 52:33
  I
• 52:34
  want
• 52:34
  to
• 52:34
  include
• 52:34
  her
• 52:34
  in,
• 52:35
  like,
• 52:35
  daily
• 52:35
  household
• 52:36
  tasks.
• 52:36
  I
• 52:36
  think
• 52:36
  that's
• 52:37
  really
• 52:37
  good
• 52:37
  because
• 52:37
  I
• 52:37
  think
• 52:37
  that
• 52:37
  builds
• 52:38
  up
• 52:38
  her
• 52:38
  confidence.
• 52:39
  There's
• 52:39
  tons
• 52:39
  of
• 52:39
  stuff
• 52:39
  I've
• 52:40
  taken.
• 52:40
  I
• 52:40
  want
• 52:40
  to,
• 52:41
  like,
• 52:41
  use
• 52:41
  your
• 52:42
  book
• 52:42
  to
• 52:42
  help
• 52:42
  prepare
• 52:43
  her
• 52:43
  for
• 52:43
  school.
• 52:44
  You
• 52:44
  know,
• 52:45
  I
• 52:45
  just.
• 52:45
  There's
• 52:46
  much.
• 52:46
  So,
• 52:46
  so
• 52:46
  much.
• 52:47
  There's
• 52:47
  so
• 52:47
  much
• 52:47
  valuable
• 52:48
  information
• 52:48
  in
• 52:49
  what
• 52:49
  we've
• 52:49
  found,
• 52:49
  and
• 52:49
  I'm
• 52:50
  really
• 52:50
  just
• 52:50
  happy
• 52:50
  that
• 52:50
  we
• 52:51
  could
• 52:51
  digest
• 52:51
  it
• 52:52
  for
• 52:52
  you
• 52:52
  guys,
• 52:52
  because,
• 52:54
  I
• 52:54
  mean,
• 52:54
  God,
• 52:55
  if
• 52:55
  I
• 52:55
  did
• 52:55
  the
• 52:56
  math,
• 52:56
  we've
• 52:56
  probably
• 52:57
  read
• 52:57
  over
• 52:58
  10,000
• 52:59
  pages
• 53:00
  of
• 53:00
  parenting
• 53:00
  books.
• 53:01
  God,
• 53:01
  and.
• 53:01
  And
• 53:02
  every
• 53:02
  book
• 53:02
  takes
• 53:03
  me
• 53:03
  so
• 53:03
  long
• 53:03
  to
• 53:04
  read.
• 53:04
  Me,
• 53:04
  too.
• 53:04
  I'm
• 53:05
  a
• 53:05
  slow
• 53:05
  reader.
• 53:05
  Me,
• 53:06
  too.
• 53:06
  I'm
• 53:06
  finding
• 53:07
  I'm
• 53:07
  waking
• 53:07
  up
• 53:07
  before
• 53:07
  my
• 53:08
  baby
• 53:08
  is
• 53:08
  awake.
• 53:09
  I'm
• 53:09
  staying
• 53:10
  awake
• 53:10
  into
• 53:10
  the
• 53:10
  night
• 53:10
  reading
• 53:11
  these
• 53:11
  books.
• 53:12
  Yeah.
• 53:12
  You
• 53:12
  know,
• 53:12
  so
• 53:13
  you
• 53:13
  guys.
• 53:13
  You're
• 53:13
  welcome.
• 53:14
  I
• 53:15
  know
• 53:15
  they're
• 53:15
  hard
• 53:16
  to
• 53:16
  read,
• 53:16
  and.
• 53:17
  Yeah.
• 53:17
  Yeah.
• 53:17
  And
• 53:18
  then
• 53:18
  I'm
• 53:19
  so
• 53:19
  happy
• 53:19
  for
• 53:19
  you
• 53:20
  that
• 53:20
  you
• 53:20
  don't
• 53:21
  have
• 53:21
  to
• 53:21
  read
• 53:21
  them
• 53:22
  or
• 53:22
  read
• 53:22
  just
• 53:22
  the
• 53:23
  ones
• 53:23
  you
• 53:23
  think
• 53:23
  sound
• 53:24
  really
• 53:24
  good.
• 53:24
  Exactly.
• 53:25
  Yeah.
• 53:25
  You
• 53:25
  don't
• 53:25
  pick
• 53:25
  and
• 53:26
  choose.
• 53:26
  Don't
• 53:26
  buy
• 53:27
  the
• 53:27
  ones
• 53:27
  that
• 53:27
  don't
• 53:27
  sound
• 53:28
  good
• 53:28
  to
• 53:28
  you.
• 53:28
  Yeah.
• 53:28
  Just
• 53:29
  get
• 53:29
  the
• 53:29
  ones
• 53:29
  that
• 53:29
  sound
• 53:30
  good.
• 53:30
  Yeah.
• 53:30
  And
• 53:30
  even
• 53:31
  then,
• 53:31
  you
• 53:31
  know,
• 53:32
  buy
• 53:32
  them
• 53:32
  used.
• 53:33
  Yeah.
• 53:34
  Let's.
• 53:35
  Let's
• 53:35
  help
• 53:35
  with
• 53:36
  the
• 53:36
  waste
• 53:36
  in
• 53:36
  this
• 53:36
  world.
• 53:37
  Okay.
• 53:37
  Do
• 53:38
  you
• 53:38
  have
• 53:38
  anything
• 53:38
  you
• 53:38
  want
• 53:38
  to
• 53:38
  say
• 53:38
  before
• 53:39
  the
• 53:39
  end
• 53:39
  of
• 53:39
  our
• 53:39
  season?
• 53:40
  I'm
• 53:40
  sad
• 53:40
  that
• 53:41
  our
• 53:41
  season's
• 53:41
  ending,
• 53:41
  but
• 53:42
  I'M
• 53:42
  excited
• 53:42
  for
• 53:42
  our
• 53:43
  new
• 53:43
  season
• 53:43
  and
• 53:44
  all
• 53:44
  the
• 53:44
  new
• 53:45
  books
• 53:45
  we're
• 53:45
  going
• 53:45
  to
• 53:45
  be
• 53:46
  reading.
• 53:48
  I'm
• 53:48
  anxious
• 53:48
  to
• 53:49
  get
• 53:49
  started.
• 53:49
  Me,
• 53:50
  too.
• 53:50
  We
• 53:50
  gotta
• 53:51
  start,
• 53:51
  like,
• 53:51
  right
• 53:51
  after
• 53:51
  this
• 53:52
  because
• 53:52
  reading
• 53:52
  takes
• 53:53
  so
• 53:53
  long,
• 53:53
  you
• 53:54
  guys.
• 53:54
  We
• 53:54
  have
• 53:54
  a
• 53:54
  lot
• 53:55
  of
• 53:55
  books
• 53:55
  to
• 53:55
  read.
• 53:55
  The
• 53:55
  next
• 53:56
  week
• 53:56
  is
• 53:56
  a
• 53:56
  break
• 53:56
  for
• 53:57
  us.
• 53:57
  But
• 53:57
  really,
• 53:57
  we'll
• 53:57
  be
• 53:58
  reading.
• 53:58
  We'll
• 53:59
  already
• 53:59
  start
• 53:59
  reading
• 54:00
  our
• 54:00
  books.
• 54:00
  Yeah.
• 54:00
  Because
• 54:01
  there's
• 54:01
  only
• 54:01
  so
• 54:01
  much
• 54:02
  time
• 54:02
  in
• 54:02
  a
• 54:02
  day.
• 54:03
  Right?
• 54:03
  So
• 54:03
  with
• 54:04
  that,
• 54:04
  thank
• 54:04
  you
• 54:05
  guys
• 54:05
  so
• 54:05
  much
• 54:06
  for
• 54:06
  being
• 54:06
  on
• 54:06
  this
• 54:06
  ride
• 54:07
  with
• 54:07
  us.
• 54:07
  And
• 54:07
  we
• 54:07
  can't
• 54:08
  wait
• 54:08
  to
• 54:08
  see
• 54:08
  you
• 54:08
  in
• 54:08
  two
• 54:09
  weeks
• 54:09
  when
• 54:09
  we
• 54:09
  break
• 54:09
  our
• 54:10
  no
• 54:10
  contact
• 54:10
  with
• 54:11
  you.
• 54:12
  Yeah.
• 54:13
  Bye.
• 54:14
  Bye.
• 54:17
  Good
• 54:17
  job,
• 54:17
  team.