Latest / The Woody Show / HIGHLIGHTPOD 30 MINS: The Woody Show October 19th 2026 Podcast
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: What's happening at the Woody Show?
- 0:02Speaker 2: Now I feel like an idiot.
- 0:04Speaker 3: Has everybody got their Halloween stash ready to go?
- 0:09Speaker 4: Oh, not yet.
- 0:10Speaker 3: We hit up Costco and bought the full bars again.
- 0:14Speaker 5: Full bars.
- 0:14Speaker 6: Oh, nice.
- 0:15Speaker 3: Going full bars again.
- 0:16Speaker 4: What are the choices?
- 0:17Speaker 3: Everything? Well, I have to make it.
- 0:18Speaker 5: It's like a variety pack, right?
- 0:20Speaker 7: It is.
- 0:20Speaker 3: I have to make another stop today because the one
- 0:22Speaker 3: that I got has.
- 0:25Speaker 3: Hershey bars that are regular and almond, Kit Kat, and
- 0:30Speaker 3: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
- 0:31Speaker 1: Perfect.
- 0:31Speaker 3: Okay.
- 0:32Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 0:32Speaker 3: But now we're missing the Snickers, Twix, Free Musketeers. I
- 0:37Speaker 3: think Starburst is in the other one.
- 0:39Speaker 8: You're like the mayor.
- 0:40Speaker 3: But they didn't have those at my particular Costco, which
- 0:43Speaker 3: they normally do. They normally have both variety packs, but
- 0:46Speaker 3: they didn't have that. And so now I have to
- 0:48Speaker 3: make another stop to make sure that we're all set
- 0:51Speaker 3: and ready to go.
- 0:52Speaker 5: Is your son ripping out... It's hard that it's on
- 0:56Speaker 5: a Saturday.
- 0:56Speaker 9: Yeah.
- 0:57Speaker 4: With an extra hour.
- 0:57Speaker 5: I mean, this is like his Super Bowl.
- 1:00Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:00Speaker 7: It is.
- 1:01Speaker 3: And he's conflicted because I told you he made the
- 1:03Speaker 3: high school hockey team.
- 1:05Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:05Speaker 3: And they have a game on Halloween night. He's skipping
- 1:10Speaker 3: the game.
- 1:10Speaker 10: Wow.
- 1:11Speaker 4: That's how important Halloween is.
- 1:13Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 1:13Speaker 3: Halloween's once a year. And the kid lives for this.
- 1:17Speaker 3: He lives for it.
- 1:18Speaker 11: Yeah.
- 1:19Speaker 3: You know, the whole yard display. He takes every, you know,
- 1:23Speaker 3: like not every dollar, but he takes his own money
- 1:25Speaker 3: that he makes from working. And he asked for money
- 1:29Speaker 3: for Christmas and birthdays and things like that. And he
- 1:31Speaker 3: invested into these. I say invest because not only does
- 1:34Speaker 3: he get a really cool display out of it, he
- 1:35Speaker 3: does a really great job with it.
- 1:37Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
- 1:37Speaker 4: It's incredible.
- 1:39Speaker 3: He then takes these animatronics that he gets, whether it's
- 1:42Speaker 3: from Spirit or other places, and he knows which ones
- 1:45Speaker 3: are hot. And he puts them right back out online
- 1:48Speaker 3: and sells them most of the time for more than
- 1:50Speaker 3: what he bought them for.
- 1:51Speaker 5: That rules.
- 1:52Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:53Speaker 3: And then he takes that money and reinvest it into
- 1:55Speaker 3: the display for next year so it looks different than
- 1:57Speaker 3: it did the year before.
- 1:58Speaker 4: It's awesome.
- 2:00Speaker 3: Incredible. I'm impressed and I have some hope for his future.
- 2:03Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 2:03Speaker 3: You know, when you see him like taking initiative and
- 2:05Speaker 3: planning things and budgeting and having like a project, you know, schedule.
- 2:10Speaker 1: Uh-huh.
- 2:11Speaker 4: And totally independent. Nobody's like breathing down his neck.
- 2:13Speaker 5: To do this. No, no.
- 2:14Speaker 3: Are you kidding?
- 2:15Speaker 10: I got to say, though, I'm super surprised that he
- 2:18Speaker 10: could just say to the team, yeah, I'm not going
- 2:20Speaker 10: to be at that game.
- 2:21Speaker 5: That would have never flown in my high school.
- 2:23Speaker 1: No, never.
- 2:24Speaker 3: Well, other people have things that happen, you know, that
- 2:26Speaker 3: can't make it because it's, you know, grandma and grandpa's
- 2:29Speaker 3: 50th anniversary party. You know, it's one game. It's from
- 2:33Speaker 3: the entire, he goes to everything as part of all
- 2:36Speaker 3: of it. And I'm not giving them.
- 2:40Speaker 2: I get it.
- 2:40Speaker 4: I just wasn't allowed to.
- 2:41Speaker 12: I had just practice on Halloween for gymnastics and I
- 2:45Speaker 12: still had to go.
- 2:45Speaker 2: They made all of us be there.
- 2:47Speaker 12: My parents would make me go and then I would
- 2:48Speaker 12: rush to try and trick or treat after I was
- 2:50Speaker 12: like seven or eight.
- 2:52Speaker 3: The game doesn't start till 4 p.m. And it's two
- 2:56Speaker 3: hours away. Why would they?
- 2:58Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
- 3:00Speaker 3: Well, because they're high school kids. So, I mean, are
- 3:02Speaker 3: they supposed to be out there trick-or-treating?
- 3:04Speaker 1: Not really.
- 3:05Speaker 3: A little too old for that. I did see, who
- 3:07Speaker 3: knows if this is real or not. I believe that
- 3:10Speaker 3: it could be real just because HOAs are this way.
- 3:14Speaker 3: Did you see the thing going around about the HOA
- 3:16Speaker 3: that put the notice out to the residents about Halloween? Yeah,
- 3:20Speaker 3: I hope this letter finds you well. As we approach
- 3:22Speaker 3: the Halloween season, the board has been discussing ways to
- 3:25Speaker 3: create a consistent and positive experience for the children in
- 3:28Speaker 3: our community who go trick-or-treating. This year, the association is
- 3:31Speaker 3: encouraging all residents to hand out fun-sized candy bars only.
- 3:34Speaker 3: We're asking that full-sized candy bars not be distributed.
- 3:38Speaker 13: What?
- 3:39Speaker 3: This request is intended to help keep the experience consistent
- 3:42Speaker 3: throughout the neighborhood and to avoid situations where some homes
- 3:44Speaker 3: feel pressured. to match larger offerings.
- 3:47Speaker 4: No, thank you. That's not up to you.
- 3:49Speaker 5: That's your problem.
- 3:50Speaker 3: Now, is it, am I saying this is 100% real?
- 3:53Speaker 3: I just saw it. I don't know if it's 100% real.
- 3:55Speaker 3: I can't verify that it's real. I believe.
- 3:57Speaker 5: It sounds real.
- 3:58Speaker 3: Very much because you see what happens when the letters
- 4:00Speaker 3: come home from the schools about things that you got
- 4:03Speaker 3: to invite everybody.
- 4:04Speaker 14: Yeah.
- 4:05Speaker 3: But now we're treating the neighbor and you've been to
- 4:07Speaker 3: these meetings and stuff.
- 4:08Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 4:09Speaker 3: And we treat now grown adults who bought houses, who
- 4:12Speaker 3: live in neighborhoods like children who because you don't want
- 4:15Speaker 3: them to feel lesser. Left out, yeah. Then you know what?
- 4:18Speaker 3: Then I don't know what to tell you.
- 4:21Speaker 4: Maybe home ownership isn't for you.
- 4:22Speaker 3: I'm saying, but if your whole... Self-worth is tied up
- 4:26Speaker 3: into what a fun-sized or full-sized candy bar.
- 4:28Speaker 5: What a seven-year-old thinks of your candy bar.
- 4:30Speaker 3: You know what? Save the money on all the candy.
- 4:32Speaker 3: Turn your lights off. Don't answer the door at all.
- 4:34Speaker 3: And use that money on therapy.
- 4:36Speaker 4: Don't participate.
- 4:37Speaker 3: Go see a therapist.
- 4:39Speaker 1: Right.
- 4:39Speaker 10: Imagine thinking like, oh, my God, that six-year-old dressed as
- 4:42Speaker 10: Chewbacca doesn't think I'm cool.
- 4:43Speaker 3: Yeah, because I don't have full-sized bars.
- 4:47Speaker 4: That's insane. No one's thinking.
- 4:49Speaker 13: Well, in a moment of, I don't know if I
- 4:51Speaker 13: had a temporary stroke or weakness, I signed up for
- 4:54Speaker 13: the school's trunk or treat parade.
- 4:56Speaker 3: Oh, you did?
- 4:57Speaker 2: I did.
- 4:57Speaker 3: Yeah, those are cool when the kids are really little. No,
- 5:01Speaker 3: when the kids are really, like your stepson is too
- 5:03Speaker 3: old for that.
- 5:04Speaker 4: No, but it's for the.
- 5:04Speaker 13: Whole school, so it'll be the little ones and stuff too.
- 5:07Speaker 13: And your wife hit me that there's car kits that
- 5:10Speaker 13: you can just make a trunk or treat thing, but
- 5:12Speaker 13: it's too late. I already bought like $ 150 worth of eyeballs,
- 5:16Speaker 13: and I thought the theme.
- 5:16Speaker 4: Would be eyeballs.
- 5:17Speaker 3: Dude, some people go crazy on their setups for these
- 5:21Speaker 3: trunk or tree things.
- 5:22Speaker 4: Have you seen?
- 5:23Speaker 3: I've heard. I've never been to one. Go on social
- 5:26Speaker 3: media and see some of the things that people do.
- 5:29Speaker 4: Like smoke machines.
- 5:30Speaker 3: Dude, they'll open up the back of the SUV, and
- 5:32Speaker 3: it's like they had a Disney Imagineer do it.
- 5:34Speaker 10: Cool.
- 5:35Speaker 3: It's crazy.
- 5:36Speaker 4: Like a haunted house.
- 5:37Speaker 5: The kids go from car to car to car.
- 5:38Speaker 1: Yes.
- 5:39Speaker 4: Go from trunk to trunk, and you leave the thing open.
- 5:41Speaker 3: For the whole school?
- 5:42Speaker 15: Yeah.
- 5:42Speaker 4: You need a car.
- 5:43Speaker 5: Well, they're taking donations.
- 5:45Speaker 3: The what? The whole school doesn't show up.
- 5:47Speaker 13: But the neighbor kid said, oh, yeah, all the kids
- 5:49Speaker 13: come out. So we're going to need to get some candy.
- 5:52Speaker 13: And we're giving out eyeballs.
- 5:54Speaker 3: But even if the HOA sent that notice out, I'm
- 5:57Speaker 3: still handing out full-size candy bars.
- 5:59Speaker 4: Oh, you wouldn't take it all back?
- 6:00Speaker 3: You're not going to step on my dream.
- 6:02Speaker 4: That's right.
- 6:03Speaker 3: I told you. Like how Menace wanted to have that
- 6:05Speaker 3: KitchenAid mixer.
- 6:06Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 6:07Speaker 3: Even though he doesn't use it.
- 6:08Speaker 5: On display.
- 6:10Speaker 3: It's what it represented.
- 6:11Speaker 16: Yeah.
- 6:12Speaker 3: For me, it represents, you know what? You've done okay.
- 6:15Speaker 4: This is what success looks like.
- 6:17Speaker 3: And I'm handing it out. So I'm doing something for
- 6:20Speaker 3: the community.
- 6:20Speaker 10: Right.
- 6:21Speaker 5: And Bob in Unit 4 is not going to kill that.
- 6:25Speaker 3: I remember being the kid and going to the house
- 6:27Speaker 3: that had the full-size candy bar and thinking, man, that's
- 6:30Speaker 3: so cool. I got a full-size candy bar. Someday I
- 6:34Speaker 3: want to be that house.
- 6:35Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
- 6:36Speaker 3: I'm going to pay it forward. I got the full-size
- 6:38Speaker 3: candy bars. Now I can go to Costco and I
- 6:41Speaker 3: can get these multi-packs. And by the way, it's like
- 6:44Speaker 3: 30 bars in each thing. It's like $ 11 or $ 12
- 6:48Speaker 3: or something like that for 30 full-size candy bars.
- 6:52Speaker 4: I thought it would bankrupt our family as a child.
- 6:54Speaker 5: No, dude.
- 6:54Speaker 3: That's the thing. It's really.
- 6:57Speaker 3: Not that bad. And I was looking at the prices
- 6:59Speaker 3: because I went to the grocery store and I saw
- 7:01Speaker 3: like the fun size stuff.
- 7:03Speaker 5: Yeah, that's basically the same price.
- 7:04Speaker 3: But I'm saying like, you know how when you compare
- 7:07Speaker 3: like rolls of toilet paper or paper towel and you
- 7:10Speaker 3: see like how many square feet of actual product you get? Like, man,
- 7:14Speaker 3: those fun size bags are rip off for what they
- 7:16Speaker 3: charge for the fun size.
- 7:17Speaker 1: Totally.
- 7:17Speaker 3: And you see how much actual product or chocolate in
- 7:20Speaker 3: it compared to, like I say, a variety pack of
- 7:24Speaker 3: the full size stuff. Dude, go to Costco, Sam's Club, Walmart.
- 7:27Speaker 2: Target.
- 7:27Speaker 3: They all sell those multi-packs.
- 7:29Speaker 4: Now, who passes it out?
- 7:30Speaker 3: My son.
- 7:31Speaker 1: Okay.
- 7:31Speaker 4: I don't have.
- 7:32Speaker 3: To do any of it. It's great. I used to
- 7:33Speaker 3: hire Randy, who worked on the show.
- 7:34Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
- 7:35Speaker 3: I forgot about that. I don't answer the door for trick-or-treaters.
- 7:39Speaker 3: I'm not like you, Gina.
- 7:40Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to be involved.
- 7:41Speaker 8: They're definitely not dialing it back at all in my neighborhood, though.
- 7:45Speaker 8: It's full on Halloween and Christmas wars.
- 7:48Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 7:49Speaker 3: Yeah, dude.
- 7:49Speaker 8: People have massive displays everywhere.
- 7:52Speaker 3: Yeah, people get into it, which, you know what? That's nice.
- 7:55Speaker 5: I like it. It's nice. It is nice.
- 7:57Speaker 3: That's something if people want to go to war over
- 7:59Speaker 3: something and want to battle out something. Who has a
- 8:01Speaker 3: better display? You know what? That's okay.
- 8:03Speaker 13: If your kid asks you to stand out there and
- 8:05Speaker 13: just put a little blood on your face.
- 8:07Speaker 1: No.
- 8:08Speaker 3: Dude, I am in the house. I'm watching TV or
- 8:12Speaker 3: doing whatever. I'm not involved at all.
- 8:14Speaker 2: Okay.
- 8:15Speaker 3: I don't want any part of that.
- 8:17Speaker 15: Fun?
- 8:17Speaker 3: It's not fun. I don't want to deal with other
- 8:20Speaker 3: people's kids. It's just not my thing.
- 8:22Speaker 4: But you're not like, oh my God, you're a little princess.
- 8:24Speaker 4: You're an astronaut.
- 8:25Speaker 15: No.
- 8:26Speaker 4: Oh, that's my thing.
- 8:29Speaker 3: Oh, Greg, can you imagine being excited?
- 8:31Speaker 5: I can't believe she asked you that.
- 8:32Speaker 3: Have we met?
- 8:33Speaker 8: But you only get.
- 8:34Speaker 13: Baby fever when you see cute clothes. Costumes are another level.
- 8:38Speaker 5: I mean, it depends on the age of the kid.
- 8:40Speaker 3: Jeff, are you handing out candy?
- 8:41Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 8:42Speaker 4: There we go.
- 8:43Speaker 3: You know what I do, though?
- 8:43Speaker 5: Here's my move.
- 8:45Speaker 11: Kids have a ton of germs, and you know I'm
- 8:46Speaker 11: a germaphobe. So I put a table with a bunch
- 8:48Speaker 11: of candy, and I say, take one. But I sit
- 8:50Speaker 11: there with a cooler full of beers, and I watch
- 8:53Speaker 11: whatever football's on, and I hand out beers to the
- 8:55Speaker 11: parents that look like they're having a bad night.
- 8:56Speaker 4: You're badass.
- 8:58Speaker 5: But in the driveway, I just kind of hang out.
- 9:00Speaker 4: That's a good idea.
- 9:02Speaker 8: No kid interaction.
- 9:03Speaker 1: Beer.
- 9:04Speaker 4: And TV, I'm good.
- 9:05Speaker 12: Are you one of those people who has the TV
- 9:07Speaker 12: out visible?
- 9:08Speaker 4: Like in the garage?
- 9:09Speaker 3: No, usually just an iPad.
- 9:10Speaker 12: That's nice because so often it's like the World Series
- 9:12Speaker 12: is going on on Halloween and you're like, what's the score?
- 9:15Speaker 3: You could say I'm a dick and all, but I'm
- 9:17Speaker 3: the guy handing out full-size candy bars at my house.
- 9:19Speaker 3: My house is the one that hands out full-size candy bars.
- 9:21Speaker 4: Try to find a problem with you.
- 9:22Speaker 3: Yeah, so you can say I'm a dick because I'm
- 9:23Speaker 3: not interested in what your kid's wearing. But here's the thing,
- 9:26Speaker 3: I'm not even out there pretending. But I am funding
- 9:29Speaker 3: the full-size candy bars.
- 9:30Speaker 4: You're underwriting the whole night.
- 9:31Speaker 10: Correct.
- 9:31Speaker 5: Don't you want to see the joy on their face
- 9:33Speaker 5: when they get that, though?
- 9:34Speaker 1: No.
- 9:34Speaker 6: Thank you.
- 9:35Speaker 3: That's for my son. My son gets enjoyment out of that.
- 9:37Speaker 5: Okay.
- 9:39Speaker 3: Last year, we had over 600 kids.
- 9:41Speaker 5: Dude.
- 9:43Speaker 3: He's keeping track. He's got the look because he wants
- 9:45Speaker 3: to see how many people come and see the display.
- 9:48Speaker 4: Awesome.
- 9:49Speaker 2: What about that, though?
- 9:50Speaker 12: Your son does this huge display, and he likes to
- 9:52Speaker 12: be out there to see people's reaction.
- 9:54Speaker 4: To his display.
- 9:55Speaker 12: You don't also want to see the reaction of the
- 9:58Speaker 12: people for the display that your son did? to be
- 10:00Speaker 12: like so proud of the whole thing?
- 10:01Speaker 3: I see the display.
- 10:02Speaker 2: I take it back.
- 10:03Speaker 3: No, I see the display. I go, hey, when you
- 10:05Speaker 3: get it all set up and it's all ready to
- 10:06Speaker 3: go before the kids get here, let me know. I
- 10:08Speaker 3: come out and I take a look. I always do
- 10:10Speaker 3: a video.
- 10:11Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 10:12Speaker 3: And I see the joy on his face. That's what
- 10:14Speaker 3: I care about. My son.
- 10:15Speaker 5: No, that's true.
- 10:15Speaker 3: And the enjoyment that he gets. And then after the night,
- 10:17Speaker 3: he's all pumped up.
- 10:18Speaker 1: Cool.
- 10:18Speaker 3: I feel good about that.
- 10:19Speaker 8: And then when it hits midnight, rip it down.
- 10:21Speaker 2: No, you know what?
- 10:22Speaker 4: You better not see this when I wake up.
- 10:23Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 10:25Speaker 7: No.
- 10:26Speaker 3: I'm very supportive.
- 10:27Speaker 4: When does he take it down?
- 10:28Speaker 3: He usually takes it down the next day. That's on him.
- 10:31Speaker 3: He's done with it. Because he's been doing it for
- 10:33Speaker 3: so long. He's like, I'm done.
- 10:35Speaker 4: He has to Take everything down himself.
- 10:37Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
- 10:37Speaker 3: And he has it down in record time.
- 10:40Speaker 4: That's amazing.
- 10:40Speaker 3: And I help him put it all away, like up
- 10:41Speaker 3: in the garage and stuff like that and box it
- 10:44Speaker 3: all up and whatever.
- 10:45Speaker 5: See, when I was a kid, we never had full
- 10:47Speaker 5: bar house, but we had the lame Penny's house and
- 10:49Speaker 5: the Raisins house.
- 10:52Speaker 1: Ew!
- 10:52Speaker 4: The Raisins.
- 10:52Speaker 3: The homemade baked goods house.
- 10:55Speaker 5: Nobody wants that.
- 10:55Speaker 4: In the cellophane.
- 10:56Speaker 3: But I always felt bad because I'm like, oh, this
- 10:59Speaker 3: is where I have weird empathy, right? Like of all
- 11:00Speaker 3: the stuff I just said where you're like, oh, man,
- 11:02Speaker 3: Woody's such a dick. I had weird empathy even as
- 11:05Speaker 3: a kid where I'm thinking to myself, man, these people,
- 11:07Speaker 3: they went out, this lady went out, she bought all
- 11:09Speaker 3: the stuff to make these cookies. She spent all this
- 11:11Speaker 3: time and she was probably really excited thinking that, oh,
- 11:13Speaker 3: the kids are really going to like these cookies that
- 11:15Speaker 3: I make. And she puts them in these little bags
- 11:16Speaker 3: and she puts little ghost stickers on them and she
- 11:19Speaker 3: hands them out just knowing that all these moms are
- 11:22Speaker 3: going to throw this away and we're not allowed to
- 11:23Speaker 3: eat this stuff because they probably think that she poisoned them.
- 11:26Speaker 4: Yeah, has needles in them.
- 11:27Speaker 3: I felt, like, I felt bad for her. Like, my
- 11:30Speaker 3: heart hurt for her.
- 11:31Speaker 4: So you took a cookie?
- 11:33Speaker 3: Of course. Take one and then you chuck it.
- 11:35Speaker 5: Whatever.
- 11:36Speaker 3: She doesn't know any better.
- 11:37Speaker 15: I know.
- 11:38Speaker 4: She's a dumb old lady.
- 11:39Speaker 8: Your words, not mine.
- 11:42Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey.
- 11:48Speaker 3: All right, so Morgan was telling us in a meeting
- 11:52Speaker 3: that we were having about, like, some show. And it's, like,
- 11:57Speaker 3: it's one of your favorite things to see, like a
- 11:58Speaker 3: therapy show. It's like a therapy show.
- 12:00Speaker 2: Yeah, Sebas, you would love it.
- 12:01Speaker 6: It's like a reality show, but with couples therapy sessions.
- 12:05Speaker 4: I would love it because she gave me the homework
- 12:07Speaker 4: of having to go through the audio for it.
- 12:09Speaker 2: Wait, we both did that?
- 12:10Speaker 4: Oh, I guess so.
- 12:11Speaker 1: Oh, cool.
- 12:11Speaker 2: Well, we have double the audio clips then. Dang it.
- 12:14Speaker 2: I had to watch it too?
- 12:15Speaker 3: Yeah. You were the one telling us about it.
- 12:18Speaker 4: Yeah, it's called Couples Therapy. It came out in 2019.
- 12:20Speaker 4: They've had like five seasons so far. I believe it's
- 12:23Speaker 4: on Paramount Plus or Showtime. And yeah, it's real life couples.
- 12:25Speaker 4: They say they go through like thousands of couples. They
- 12:29Speaker 4: want real people. They don't want people who are just
- 12:31Speaker 4: looking to get on TV.
- 12:32Speaker 13: But who in their right mind as a couple would
- 12:34Speaker 13: be like, oh, please put this on there.
- 12:36Speaker 4: Well, people go to therapy because they're losers. Loser narcissists.
- 12:39Speaker 8: Yeah, I instantly skip over it when I see it
- 12:42Speaker 8: on the previews.
- 12:42Speaker 2: Yeah, well, that's what caught my attention.
- 12:44Speaker 8: Because they do video previews.
- 12:45Speaker 2: I'm like, no way this is real. I'm like, oh,
- 12:47Speaker 2: this is.
- 12:48Speaker 4: And it's this one lady therapist, and she sits down
- 12:51Speaker 4: and goes through all these people's deals.
- 12:52Speaker 3: But I'm saying, is it a real couple, or is
- 12:55Speaker 3: this a reality show?
- 12:57Speaker 4: No, it's real. Trust me, it's mega boring, so I
- 13:01Speaker 4: believe it's real.
- 13:01Speaker 3: Oh, so that's how you know it's real.
- 13:03Speaker 5: There's no juicy drama.
- 13:05Speaker 4: Well, we have some of that.
- 13:06Speaker 3: We have some of that. Here, you want to give
- 13:07Speaker 3: me an example here, Seabass?
- 13:09Speaker 4: All right, so I went to, instead of going through
- 13:10Speaker 4: just watching... slog after slog of idiots talking about themselves.
- 13:13Speaker 4: I went to their YouTube page for couples therapy, went
- 13:16Speaker 4: to their YouTube short and went to the most viewed short.
- 13:20Speaker 4: That's where the drama is. That's where the actual good
- 13:22Speaker 4: stuff is. So go to clip 2A there, Woody. This
- 13:28Speaker 4: is a guy and his wife who's about 700 pounds
- 13:32Speaker 4: and they have an open marriage and Who is that
- 13:36Speaker 4: open to? But apparently the guy didn't follow the open
- 13:40Speaker 4: marriage rules.
- 13:41Speaker 5: Did you sleep with someone on Monday?
- 13:43Speaker 14: No.
- 13:47Speaker 10: No, I'm not entertaining that.
- 13:48Speaker 3: You saying you didn't?
- 13:50Speaker 15: I am proving.
- 13:51Speaker 3: That's not proof.
- 13:52Speaker 2: That's not even proof.
- 13:53Speaker 4: It's not proof?
- 13:54Speaker 3: That I'm sleeping with somebody?
- 13:56Speaker 5: Did someone come over your house?
- 13:57Speaker 4: Let me ask the right question because you're a man
- 13:59Speaker 4: and I need to ask the right question so you
- 14:01Speaker 4: answer properly.
- 14:02Speaker 3: Did someone come over your home that you sent them.
- 14:04Speaker 4: A car to and home from.
- 14:06Speaker 3: To pick them up?
- 14:08Speaker 5: You said last week, right?
- 14:09Speaker 1: Yes.
- 14:10Speaker 4: And you sent them back home at 1.30 in the morning.
- 14:14Speaker 3: Man, there's such a better way to do this. Just
- 14:15Speaker 3: offer roses.
- 14:16Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
- 14:18Speaker 3: You'll find out right away.
- 14:19Speaker 4: Call up the person and say, who would you like
- 14:21Speaker 4: to give this dozen roses to?
- 14:22Speaker 3: You want it for free. Yeah, the person that's not
- 14:23Speaker 3: your wife.
- 14:23Speaker 4: But you know this dude's lying because he's like, wait,
- 14:25Speaker 4: last Wednesday?
- 14:26Speaker 8: Yeah, he's trying to catch up where she's lying.
- 14:28Speaker 4: Because she has the Uber receipt. Oh, it continues here.
- 14:31Speaker 3: All right.
- 14:33Speaker 5: Okay. I may have sent them back. Yes. Because you
- 14:36Speaker 5: sent them there.
- 14:37Speaker 7: I have literally proof of the Uber.
- 14:39Speaker 4: Yes, you have proof of the Uber, but you are
- 14:41Speaker 4: jumping to conclusions. What conclusions am I to jump to?
- 14:45Speaker 10: I could have been traveling from a certain area.
- 14:47Speaker 4: Is that what it is? Is that what it is?
- 14:51Speaker 3: This sounds like menace.
- 14:53Speaker 10: You're not even my friend.
- 14:56Speaker 4: Oh, damn.
- 14:57Speaker 8: If it was like this, I would watch it.
- 14:59Speaker 4: Right. And Sammy's like getting horny over here with.
- 15:01Speaker 5: All the cheating.
- 15:02Speaker 13: And Seabass, just to double check, you said this was
- 15:04Speaker 13: a gentleman and a gal?
- 15:06Speaker 4: Okay, look, let's not get into all that. I'm trying
- 15:09Speaker 4: to figure out what's going on. I just want to
- 15:11Speaker 4: know what I'm listening to. So they end up with
- 15:15Speaker 4: the back and forth here.
- 15:17Speaker 3: All right. I still can't figure out, like, if you
- 15:20Speaker 3: were really having legit problems, why... Why would you go
- 15:24Speaker 3: about things this way?
- 15:25Speaker 8: Because there's people that are that thirsty to be on TV.
- 15:27Speaker 4: They don't care. And the wife is saying, we're going
- 15:29Speaker 4: to get a couple's therapy. And you're saying, well, at
- 15:30Speaker 4: least this one's free because the TV show is paying
- 15:32Speaker 4: for it. You're so convinced that I'm talking about you.
- 15:35Speaker 5: You're always convinced somebody's trying to hurt you.
- 15:37Speaker 4: You are trying to hurt me.
- 15:39Speaker 15: No, I'm not.
- 15:40Speaker 3: You brought someone over and asked them to sleep with you.
- 15:43Speaker 4: You literally wrote in the message, well, if you want
- 15:46Speaker 4: to get fucked, you can. Oh, nice. What the hell
- 15:49Speaker 4: are you talking about? Oh, hold on.
- 15:51Speaker 5: Time out. Time out.
- 15:52Speaker 3: You're cheating on me. Sherry and Clinton.
- 15:54Speaker 4: That's the therapist.
- 15:54Speaker 5: I'm sorry, Orna.
- 15:56Speaker 3: I'm not even cheating on you.
- 15:57Speaker 4: Sit down.
- 15:58Speaker 2: See, Beth, don't you agree? She's a terrible therapist, too.
- 16:02Speaker 4: Well, she lets them go.
- 16:03Speaker 13: Well, I thought it would be like, she's such a
- 16:05Speaker 13: good therapist. They'll be like, fine, I'll be on TV.
- 16:07Speaker 2: No, she kind of just lets it go.
- 16:09Speaker 3: It's very, yeah.
- 16:11Speaker 4: She'll maybe stop someone if they're talking over the other person.
- 16:13Speaker 3: You got a clip for us here, Morgan?
- 16:15Speaker 6: Yeah, my first clip here was from this couple Josh
- 16:18Speaker 6: and Natasha. And they were really proud that they had
- 16:21Speaker 6: sex together.
- 16:22Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 16:23Speaker 2: These are the issues they're having.
- 16:24Speaker 3: Today was a really good day.
- 16:26Speaker 2: Tell me.
- 16:26Speaker 3: We had sex today. Before coming to the session.
- 16:29Speaker 7: Wonderful.
- 16:30Speaker 15: And she was open to it. And that made me
- 16:32Speaker 15: feel happy. Didn't matter, you know, like what the mechanics
- 16:37Speaker 15: were of whatever it was. It was just that she
- 16:40Speaker 15: was like, all right. You know, and for me, I
- 16:42Speaker 15: was like, all right, let's give it a go.
- 16:44Speaker 4: That's it? We take our all rights.
- 16:47Speaker 3: Can you imagine, Greg?
- 16:49Speaker 4: We very need all rights.
- 16:51Speaker 2: They're too far gone to be even in therapy.
- 16:54Speaker 3: Like, that's what did it for him.
- 16:56Speaker 5: He's like, oh, man. And we got the mechanics right?
- 16:59Speaker 3: She said all right. No, it wasn't about the mechanics.
- 17:01Speaker 5: I mean, how don't you get that right?
- 17:04Speaker 6: Did you miss they both were alright with it okay
- 17:08Speaker 6: maybe he went.
- 17:08Speaker 14: To work exactly yeah it was so nice to like
- 17:12Speaker 14: have sex and then afterwards we were like great job
- 17:16Speaker 14: and then like we were talking about like other things
- 17:17Speaker 14: like normally it's part of life exactly Because it was like,
- 17:21Speaker 14: oh my God, like this can happen.
- 17:24Speaker 4: Wait, what?
- 17:25Speaker 2: I'm confused. Isn't that sad?
- 17:26Speaker 8: Great job.
- 17:27Speaker 3: So they had sex and then it was over. They
- 17:28Speaker 3: kind of jumped back into like normal life.
- 17:30Speaker 9: Everyday life.
- 17:31Speaker 3: Talking about other things like, all right, so what's it?
- 17:33Speaker 3: We have to go to the grocery store or like,
- 17:34Speaker 3: are you going to pick up the kids?
- 17:35Speaker 5: And that's what they're proud of?
- 17:36Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't get it.
- 17:38Speaker 6: I guess.
- 17:38Speaker 3: Maybe that's progress for them.
- 17:39Speaker 5: Isn't that just kind of normal?
- 17:41Speaker 6: And isn't it weird to tell your therapist, hey, we
- 17:43Speaker 6: just had sex before.
- 17:45Speaker 4: No. You tell your therapist everything. I also stuck to
- 17:48Speaker 4: the sex stuff here because- Greg, I saw there's a
- 17:51Speaker 4: whole YouTube video from couples therapy about cheating. And I
- 17:55Speaker 4: saw a couple of lesbians like, all right, sweet.
- 17:58Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 17:59Speaker 4: So there's one lesbian cheating on another one because they
- 18:01Speaker 4: also have an open relationship.
- 18:03Speaker 5: But then how is it cheating if it's open?
- 18:05Speaker 4: Well, there's rules. There are rules. And so this is
- 18:07Speaker 4: one lesbian explaining how what she did wasn't even cheating
- 18:12Speaker 4: and still violated the rules.
- 18:15Speaker 7: While I was out with a friend, Nadine went to
- 18:17Speaker 7: see one of her lovers without telling me.
- 18:18Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
- 18:20Speaker 4: I felt that a.
- 18:20Speaker 7: Boundary was crossed because there was no communication about her
- 18:23Speaker 7: going to see them. And this isn't the first time
- 18:26Speaker 7: a boundary has been crossed with this particular person.
- 18:29Speaker 1: My experience was a little different.
- 18:30Speaker 4: Tell me.
- 18:31Speaker 1: That person, they had gotten their period, they weren't feeling well.
- 18:35Speaker 1: I asked them if they wanted weed. It was a
- 18:37Speaker 1: literal four-second interaction, like boom, boom, bye. Because I was
- 18:40Speaker 1: so afraid of what it would create in the home. Yeah.
- 18:45Speaker 5: Yeah, I intended to cheat, but then... Yeah, peer.
- 18:49Speaker 4: And by the way, that's cut down from about 10
- 18:51Speaker 4: minutes of the most boring lesbian story I've ever heard
- 18:53Speaker 4: in my life.
- 18:54Speaker 5: It does sound like the therapist really doesn't do anything.
- 18:57Speaker 4: Well, the producers are probably like, let them talk. That's
- 18:59Speaker 4: where the gold is.
- 19:00Speaker 1: Tell me.
- 19:02Speaker 3: Weird like yeah creamer yeah.
- 19:03Speaker 16: Tell me say it slower but it's watching this confirmed
- 19:08Speaker 16: of course everything I thought about therapy it's just narcissists
- 19:10Speaker 16: talking about themselves talking about things like Morgan's clip that
- 19:13Speaker 16: could be super easy to figure out like when are
- 19:15Speaker 16: we gonna have sex okay we'll figure it out.
- 19:17Speaker 8: They run out of things to talk about it's just
- 19:19Speaker 8: like me.
- 19:19Speaker 4: Me me me feelings feelings boundaries.
- 19:21Speaker 6: So they have to pay somebody to listen well here's
- 19:23Speaker 6: a real argument clip two this is Marjorie and Jason
- 19:26Speaker 6: my favorite couple from the show by the way they're
- 19:29Speaker 6: arguing about animals in the house.
- 19:30Speaker 17: There's a couple of things in the house that is
- 19:32Speaker 17: very important to me. My bed, my sleep space. Well,
- 19:36Speaker 17: I can't have that there because the animals are on
- 19:39Speaker 17: the bed. Dogs licking herself on my bed, put a
- 19:41Speaker 17: big wet spot. So we have a split king, right?
- 19:46Speaker 17: I got so frustrated that.
- 19:48Speaker 3: I'm going to take my bed off. and put it
- 19:51Speaker 3: in the closet until I'm ready to sleep.
- 19:53Speaker 6: So dramatic.
- 19:54Speaker 5: I will deploy it again.
- 19:55Speaker 17: To ensure that the bed is in the same condition.
- 19:59Speaker 2: That's a good idea.
- 20:00Speaker 4: No, it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
- 20:02Speaker 6: I know you're a doctor and I don't want to
- 20:04Speaker 6: disrespect you, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
- 20:06Speaker 2: Yeah, and then they're just talking back to the therapist. Like,
- 20:08Speaker 2: why are you even here?
- 20:09Speaker 4: That's a good idea. Every night, take your bed, put
- 20:12Speaker 4: it in the closet so the dogs won't sit in it.
- 20:16Speaker 3: What the hell?
- 20:17Speaker 4: Don't address the problem. Yeah, yeah. Greg, is there a
- 20:19Speaker 4: way to keep animals off of our furniture? No.
- 20:22Speaker 5: It's impossible.
- 20:22Speaker 16: Yeah.
- 20:23Speaker 5: No, of course it is.
- 20:24Speaker 3: Greg and I managed to somehow, we love our dogs.
- 20:26Speaker 5: Lay the ground rules.
- 20:27Speaker 3: They are not on the furniture.
- 20:29Speaker 5: Right, unless it's weekend camping in the other room.
- 20:31Speaker 3: In another room. I never feel bad for parents who
- 20:34Speaker 3: say about having a good night's sleep because your kids
- 20:37Speaker 3: are still allowed to sleep in the bed with you.
- 20:39Speaker 3: Whenever they get scared and come in, they're like, nope. Never.
- 20:42Speaker 5: Lay down the law.
- 20:43Speaker 3: Oh, but they're sick. Okay, well, you go stay in
- 20:45Speaker 3: their room and you sleep in their bed.
- 20:47Speaker 4: So you guys didn't spend thousands of dollars and months
- 20:49Speaker 4: and months of.
- 20:50Speaker 3: Therapy to figure out these whole... Wow.
- 20:52Speaker 9: Weird.
- 20:52Speaker 2: Crazy.
- 20:53Speaker 3: But you know what? I mean, with how popular all
- 20:55Speaker 3: the therapy stuff is, I'm not surprised it's a show. Oh, sure. Oh, sure.
- 21:00Speaker 3: There's a lot of interest. There's big money. in this
- 21:02Speaker 3: kind of stuff, in conventions, there's like mental health, everything.
- 21:07Speaker 5: It's big business.
- 21:08Speaker 3: It's big business.
- 21:09Speaker 8: It's almost as if being self-aware saves you a lot
- 21:11Speaker 8: of money.
- 21:12Speaker 3: Whoa.
- 21:12Speaker 2: What?
- 21:14Speaker 4: If you can just like put down your foot, solve
- 21:16Speaker 4: your problems, and move on to actual life and not
- 21:18Speaker 4: spend thousands of dollars swirling in a little spiral of talky, talky, talky, talky. No,
- 21:23Speaker 4: just get it done and move on.
- 21:24Speaker 3: There's something you said, like everybody's kind of interested in
- 21:26Speaker 3: other people's business. Yep. To be on the fly on
- 21:28Speaker 3: the wall for couples therapy. marriage counseling or something like
- 21:34Speaker 3: that like i could see where i could see where
- 21:36Speaker 3: people would be interested in that oh yeah because like
- 21:39Speaker 3: not from not from a therapy standpoint just from like a.
- 21:41Speaker 13: Gossipy nosy i would love to spend a day at
- 21:45Speaker 13: divorce court and sit in the back and just hear
- 21:48Speaker 13: all the drama i don't want to fix it i just.
- 21:50Speaker 3: Want to hear it yeah with no skin in the
- 21:51Speaker 3: game none you get to come and go as.
- 21:53Speaker 13: You want i love that no paper lunch.
- 21:56Speaker 3: Like boring next room yeah Boring. Next room. Yes, this
- 21:59Speaker 3: is a good one.
- 22:00Speaker 4: But I had to dig through this show that's already
- 22:02Speaker 4: done the digging for me, supposedly, to find the one
- 22:04Speaker 4: guy screaming about getting to buy an Uber for his
- 22:06Speaker 4: side piece. Everything else is just, oh, 15 minutes.
- 22:09Speaker 2: And they have five seasons of this thing.
- 22:10Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 22:11Speaker 3: Who's this last one?
- 22:13Speaker 2: We'll go to four. Clip four.
- 22:15Speaker 6: This is Sienna and Chris. Because I'm like, okay, how
- 22:17Speaker 6: do they resolve things? Like, what's the end figuring out, right?
- 22:21Speaker 6: Apparently nothing.
- 22:21Speaker 16: All right.
- 22:22Speaker 9: I did something horrible to you. I feel like I
- 22:25Speaker 9: don't deserve it.
- 22:27Speaker 3: But that's like your MO, babe. Wait, I did something.
- 22:31Speaker 1: What?
- 22:31Speaker 5: But that's your MO, babe.
- 22:34Speaker 2: He doesn't deserve her.
- 22:35Speaker 3: Oh, doesn't deserve her?
- 22:36Speaker 4: He's groveling.
- 22:37Speaker 3: I thought he said. I don't deserve what I'm getting
- 22:40Speaker 3: or I don't deserve the treatment.
- 22:41Speaker 15: No, no, no.
- 22:41Speaker 5: I don't deserve you.
- 22:42Speaker 6: No, he's taking the route of like, you're better than me.
- 22:44Speaker 3: Oh, yuck.
- 22:46Speaker 9: I did something horrible to you. I feel like I
- 22:48Speaker 9: don't deserve.
- 22:50Speaker 3: But that's like your MO, babe. You need that like.
- 22:54Speaker 1: Flogging. Yeah.
- 22:55Speaker 3: You know, like you need to be punished.
- 22:57Speaker 2: Yeah, daddy. Look at me.
- 22:58Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 22:59Speaker 2: I'm scared because I love you so much.
- 23:02Speaker 1: Oh.
- 23:02Speaker 12: Bark.
- 23:03Speaker 9: And I love you so much. I didn't think that
- 23:07Speaker 9: you should be with me because I think you're.
- 23:09Speaker 3: F * * * ing amazing.
- 23:10Speaker 9: And I'm just some schmuck with mommy issues and a
- 23:15Speaker 9: trust fund that ran out.
- 23:16Speaker 1: Shh.
- 23:17Speaker 4: Stop talking.
- 23:18Speaker 3: Oh my God.
- 23:19Speaker 1: What?
- 23:19Speaker 3: How does that resolve it?
- 23:20Speaker 8: I don't want anybody to know that I'm broke.
- 23:22Speaker 4: Is that the wife?
- 23:23Speaker 2: And then she goes, shut up.
- 23:24Speaker 8: This is a guy that has a side piece who's
- 23:27Speaker 8: trying to get this chick to move on.
- 23:28Speaker 3: Absolutely.
- 23:29Speaker 10: He wants her so badly to break up with him.
- 23:32Speaker 10: I don't deserve you. You should go be with somebody better.
- 23:34Speaker 4: Do you think he has a side piece because he
- 23:35Speaker 4: sounds like such a pussy?
- 23:36Speaker 2: He sounds like AI. He has, like, no emotion, and
- 23:39Speaker 2: it's very strange.
- 23:41Speaker 3: So you're a dream man?
- 23:42Speaker 4: Getting. But, Morgan, I would think a guy like this,
- 23:46Speaker 4: you would hate this guy.
- 23:48Speaker 1: Me?
- 23:48Speaker 4: Yeah, because he's such a puss.
- 23:49Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I didn't say I liked him.
- 23:51Speaker 5: He can't hold it up and say, yeah, we should
- 23:52Speaker 5: break up.
- 23:53Speaker 6: It was just, like you said, one of the few
- 23:54Speaker 6: entertaining clips of all these hours that I had to
- 23:56Speaker 6: go through.
- 23:57Speaker 3: All right, so the name of the show is what?
- 23:58Speaker 2: Couples Therapy.
- 23:59Speaker 3: It's on Amazon.
- 24:01Speaker 4: Yeah, Amazon, Paramount +, Showtime. They've got a big YouTube
- 24:03Speaker 4: thing if you want to watch for free.
- 24:05Speaker 2: It's really great.
- 24:06Speaker 5: You saved us a lot of time not watching it.
- 24:08Speaker 3: You're welcome, Greg.
- 24:08Speaker 5: I thought you were totally into it for some reason.
- 24:10Speaker 6: No, I just saw it. I got on Amazon Prime.
- 24:13Speaker 6: It came up, and I'm like, oh, Seabass might like this.
- 24:15Speaker 4: I pitched it.
- 24:17Speaker 3: 503 texting over. Funny listening to Seabass talk-ish about therapy,
- 24:19Speaker 3: considering how badly he needs it.
- 24:21Speaker 4: Yeah, badly.
- 24:23Speaker 10: Oh, yeah.
- 24:23Speaker 4: Well, thanks for giving me all the, whoa. Oh, there's nothing,
- 24:26Speaker 4: no examples whatsoever there.
- 24:27Speaker 5: Interesting.
- 24:28Speaker 3: Interesting. All right, more of what he shows next. Oh,
- 24:30Speaker 3: it just sounds so bougie to me, like.
- 24:35Speaker 1: In the future. Oh. The Woody Show.