Latest / Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul / Safety Is the Special Sauce of Healing: EFT & Self-Love with Veronica Kelly

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Safety Is the Special Sauce of Healing: EFT & Self-Love with Veronica Kelly · Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul

• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone, welcome to another episode here on the Healing Her Story Podcast.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I am always so excited for guest interviews.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a wonderful opportunity to connect with women all over the world, to learn about new healing modalities and new perspectives, and today's conversation will be no different.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Today we are joined by a woman who made her way into my sphere quite magically and divinely timed as always.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to be talking today about some themes that tie into Libra season, which is the season that we'll be in when this episode is airing.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're having the conversation a little bit ahead of time.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: But we're kind of starting to steep a little bit in that Libra-ish energy today.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really excited to be having this conversation with Veronica Kelly.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Veronica Kelly is a liberation strategist, an EFT practitioner based in Austin, helping people move through fear and anxiety by creating safety in the body and in the nervous system.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: She works with EFT, also known as Emotional Freedom Technique, and the Compassion Key, which I'm excited to hear more about.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And she does these techniques, uses these techniques to help people identify and move through limiting beliefs, heal core wounds, and return to self-love.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Her own path, shaped by early instability and abandonment and years of repeating the same patterns and relationships and money, is what led her to this work.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: She specializes in self-love, freedom, and spiritual alignment, guiding people to feel stuck toward a life, toward a life they actually love.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Veronica, welcome to the show.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for having me.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: I am excited to be your guest as well as your feline co-hosts guest.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: I've got Liz Lemon here.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: She's a little off-camera, but if you look closely, if you see the video, you can see her little ear poking out.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So cute.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, adorable.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Veronica, I'll invite you to share a little bit about your story to start us off today.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for having me.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome, guests and listeners.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: You're in for a treat today.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna have a beautiful conversation today and hopefully leaving you with some tools and resources you can take away, which is my favorite thing to do, is give practical tools because you can't think your way into healing.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: You just can't.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: It takes those practical action steps that you show up with day after day to really create that shift and that change.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: So thanks for letting me be here to share those with your audience.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: So a little bit about my story.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: I was I was born into a very, very young family.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: So my mother was just barely 18 when I was born.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: My dad was uh in the early 20s as well, and they did their very best to take care of me, but they were just really young and unfit.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: They couldn't really have the resources, if you will.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: There was a lot of fighting, a lot of instability.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: And basically, my grandparents had to step in and take me into their home.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: My dad and I moved in with my grandparents when I was four or five.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: And in the the best possible situation where we had a stable home with lots of people to take care of me and make sure I'm safe and cared for, my mother was separated from my life.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: And she was obviously, or maybe not obviously, my absolute everything, my best friend, my everything.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then through a series of unfortunate events, she was removed from my life completely for a while.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember like falling myself to sleep every single night.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was just absolutely torture to not have her.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I was four.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: So you can't really explain why she's not there.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so long story short is that when I was in my 20s, late 20s, I it's actually a comedy, it's mild comedy how it happened, but I had written a project about my dating follies.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: I was in Los Angeles, living life fast and loose, living in my art, having what I thought was just a grand old time, but in reality, I had a substance abuse problem.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'd never had a serious boyfriend.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: I was pushing away money before it even arrived to me and making very, when I look back now, unsafe choices for my health and my well-being, period.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I was at this premiere of the show, and it was, like I said, it was loosely based on my dating life.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like 45 minutes of just dating follies and disasters.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I got done and the audience loved it.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: We sold the project.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: I got more compliments than I'd ever received in one night.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I should have left feeling great.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: But I was horrified.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, the next day, I was like, I'm the one factor.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the same.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's just the same guy on repeat, unavailable, selfish, addicted.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: And they would, it was the same.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: They would pursue me, they would be crazy about me.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: I would fall crazy in love with them, and then they'd instantly be gone.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: Instantly.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so I decided to go get some help.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I got a therapist and was like, what's up with me that I keep creating the same situation over and over again?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm almost 30.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: I've never had a serious boyfriend.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: What's actually happening?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: And within like a session of our time together, she was able to pinpoint this abandonment wound that I had and, you know, really allowed me to open up and see that it was a defense mechanism, why I was bringing this person to me.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: So, long story short, I did everything that the therapist said to do, and I wasn't seeing change.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, I was having more shame because I wasn't seeing shame change.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: And now I'm like, well, I'm just broken.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's it.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there's this is how it's gonna be forever.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I was in a women's leadership course and I was introduced to EFT.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: And within months of doing EFT tapping every single day, I noticed my outside world was changing.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: And when I was in the therapy chair thinking it through, nothing changed.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: And that was the shame spiral I was going down.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: And then in my practitioner or in my with my EFT practitioner, what we discovered through some amazing healing modalities is that my defense mechanism was if no one gets close enough to love her, then she'll never have to go through the pain of losing the one she loves most in the world, which was my mom.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: And then it just made sense.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, well, of course I'm attracting these jerks who never want to commit to me, that are incapable of loving me, even if they want to.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, I'm repeating this pattern.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's a defense mechanism.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so with the EFT, it was immediately creating the safety, the forgiveness, the acceptance, and then the safety again, that even if it does happen, I'll be okay.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not a little girl anymore that has no resources and no say or no power.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm an adult woman.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: If it does happen again, I will, I'll be okay.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so that was the baseline we created with the EFT through self-love, through acceptance.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, obviously there's a lot more to it than that, but that's basically what led me.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I was full on in my entertainment career.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'd been doing entertainment since I was about seven, working professionally, a member of SAG.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like I never thought I'd do anything else, but EFT so powerfully changed my life.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I need to get these tools in front of people.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: And that's when I started to kind of create two paths between my art as well as my healing path.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then eventually I was like, I can't not share this.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's a disservice to humanity, which made me really dive into the path in which I am on now.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 9:31
  unknown: Yeah.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then within like months, I created my first boyfriend, Pablo.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: He's my starter boyfriend.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: God bless you, Pablo.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: We're still friends to this day.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then after that, it was, you know, my fiance and we were together for five years.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: And the reality is, I don't attract those guys anymore.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: They don't even enter into my field.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: Ever since I did the shift internally and created the self-love and the self-worth and the safety, those people don't even enter into my vibrational sphere.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: And that is such a gift and a blessing.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: Especially when, because I understand what it's like to be like, am I just a gift?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: Am I just a victim of circumstance?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: Is this just my life?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: Do I give up now?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: But no, we can actually change anything we want to.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: So that's kind of what led me here in a nutshell.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, step one was to give up the substance abuse problem that I was having using to numb myself because I didn't realize I was numbing from the pain.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought I was just living fast and loose in LA, doing things everybody did.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: And reality, now that I look back, it was a complete numbing and inability to sit with the pain.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: And that's another big thing that EFT does.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing your story so courageously and vulnerably.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I hear a lot of my own story in your story as well.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: So that's always really interesting to have things reflected back to me.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I too spent a lot of my early teens living fast and loose here in Sacramento, where I live, still in California, but slightly different pace and energy, but I would say very similar path of self-destruction.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for naming that and for bringing that into the conversation.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I love what you shared about this internal shift and how that is what started to create the change, not only within yourself, but within the relationships that you were starting to manifest and attract.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so many other things you've touched on here too.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: I love what you shared about your childhood as well.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about that a lot on the show, how so many of these patterns and these things that we struggle with during our adult years come from our childhood.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if we can just go back to where things started and start to understand, then we can start to create those changes that we're desiring.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I appreciate you bringing that in as well.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd love to touch on that too before we move forward.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: Please.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's interesting because it's actually biological.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: And what I've learned in my my practitioner training and all of my experience with working with the nervous system is that from the ages of zero to six, our brain is in a theta brain wave state, which means our brain absorbs how to whatever, fill in the blank, how to stay safe, how to get the attention, how to avoid pain, how to whatever the situation is that we're learning is learning how to be a human is comes in during those first six years.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: And then once it's absorbed, it goes into our subconscious and our nervous system as an actual pattern, like a literal pattern.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: And what's wild is that our it doesn't care if it's good or bad, repetition, strong emotion, repetition, strong emotion.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so we actually create a coherence with what we're given in our environments.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: And that's oftentimes why you see people like I support a really amazing charity that rescues men and women from and children from sex slave trafficking.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I sponsor one to live for a month inside of a safe house because so often they'll run back, even once they're freed, not because it's good for them, but because they have a coherence inside to their nervous system that this behavior is okay.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: Even though it feels horrible, I know this behavior, it's a resonance match.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: And so we actually do that all of us when we're kids, which is so interesting that we literally will recreate that without even realizing it from those first six years because of our patterns and habits and our theta brainwave state bringing it in as part of our identity.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: It is fascinating.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I've never heard it articulated in that way.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I really appreciate you bringing that piece in.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's really helpful for me to understand that physiological component that is actually influencing this.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's biochemical, and that's and it and it happens on positive ways as well as negative ways.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so if you have like somebody whom, and I don't want to put anybody down when I say what I'm about to say, but somebody who is like extremely rich, but also very nasty and shady and shisty.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: And some of us can look and go, why the heck are you graced with so much money, but you're so shisty and hurting other people?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: Whereas the karma in that.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: But the reality is that person was most likely raised with we have money, and this is how we get money.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: So that's what they'll do and go out and create it because it is inherent in part of their nervous systems where it feels safe and what it's coherent with.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Fascinating.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think so.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think so too.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, I'd love to share a little bit more about what EFT is for anyone listening who maybe hasn't heard of EFT and maybe they're resonating with some of the things we've already touched on, and they're like, ooh, how do I come into a coherent state that manifests the life that I actually desire?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: So can you tell us a little bit more about what EFT is?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, yes.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, this is my favorite subject.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: I love talking about EFT because I think that it is the, I don't think I know it is the most empowering modality of how you want, you can take charge of your own personal experience in any given moment.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: So the basics of the emotional freedom technique tapping is that we have so this is no longer woo-woo.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: This was pretty woo-woo when I first learned EFT 14 years ago.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_02: But now we have science that proves we are energetic beings.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: We have an electromagnetic frequency that goes around our body.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: We have electromagnetic currents that roll through our body, they're circuits of energy that create our field of energy as well as our physical body.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: And in yoga, they're called nadis.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: In modern science, they're called meridian points, meridian lines.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: These are the same lines of energy that if you go get acupuncture, the practitioner will put the needle in and they'll open up that line of energy to create flow and movement because most likely something's trapped or stuck.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: And so piggybacking off traditional Chinese medicine, and these guys have been mapped, I think it was like 2600 years ago when they when Emperor Shenyun first discovered this meridian points or meridian lines.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: Anywho, and so with EFT tapping, we take that principle and the idea that something is stuck, something is trapped, that the energy is not flowing in the most healthy way.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: And that can often be a trauma.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: That can often be so many different things can be stuck because what we're able to process in the moment, we process.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: What our body is unable to process, literally, it gets stored inside of the field for a later date to come back and work with it or deal with it or love it, whatever it is to open it up.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: And then once we love and accept and give it space to just be held, then the energy is no longer stuck.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: It comes home.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: And now you have more energy to go out and create whatever it is you desire.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: So what EFT does is we tap on little points to stimulate these lines of energy.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: And we just open up and say, We're okay.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: I love you, gosh.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: I love yourself.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: I got yourself.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: We are gonna move through this and love and accept it back to wholeness.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm here.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: And just creating that conversation with your energetic body, it literally, not pretend like for realsies, it actually will shift the vibration of your body.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: And because we're vibrational beings, we are pulling to us or pushing away things that are incoherents and are a vibrational match 24 hours a day, whether we know that we are or we're not.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: So when these situations, beliefs, patterns, wounds are trapped in our bodies and our energies, then it is causing a lack of flow.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: And when we shift it, then we become a vibrational match.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: And then the things that we desire that are the vibrational match will flow to us.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's almost like it feels like magic.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna think in that like magic and science put together.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: And it's crazy.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I and I've seen it happen, you know, I've worked with hundreds of people over the years now.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so beautiful.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: And something worth noting too when it comes to EFT is like the basis is that we are now adults, we have resources.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's okay to let go of the past.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: We don't need to be stuck in that because we now live here.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: And bringing those parts of us back home to the now under our own care is how we recreate how the patterns and the habits that we have.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: And the energy, scientifically proven, you can do the research.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: All my listeners here today go to the institution of heart math and look at their amazing studies on the heart.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: But what's so fascinating is that the energy that our brain omits into our toric field, our electromagnetic signature, versus the energy that our heart electrically pulses out into our field, scientifically proven, it's between 70 times greater the energy your heart gives versus your head, all the way up to around a hundred times more energy comes from your heart than your head.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: And if what I just said was true, that our entire field is what's bringing stuff to us, the energy in it is important.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: So we can think something all day long.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: But if we don't feel it in our heart is safe or we're worthy of it, or it's a good choice, or I'm gonna be loved if I do make this choice, then we are literally going to block ourselves because the heart is the is the biggest feeder of our energy field.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's what EFT does.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_02: It gets out of the head into the heart and creates that conversation between the two of them with our own personal sovereign desires, which is really cool.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_02: So that's a a little bit about EFT.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: I've never had it explained that way, and I love this connection that you've made to traditional Chinese medicine with the meridians.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I get acupuncture quite regularly or receive it quite regularly, and I love traditional Chinese medicine.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: I really think you know they knew what they were doing.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: I mean Yeah, exactly.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that this is tied to that, and I also appreciate you bringing in a lot of the science that has now been discovered on emotional freedom technique because I could see like I've I used to do a lot of tapping, and I don't think there was a reason I got away from it other than you know, different seasons and phases of our lives.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember when I first started doing it, probably maybe eight years ago, it did seem very like woo-woo to me.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, like is this doing anything?
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is this working?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so to actually hear that there's science now that confirms the internal shift that is actually happening on an energetic level, I'm ready to go start tapping like right now.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: And like seriously.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: And like one other thing that I love as well, you know, again, because the science is caught up with this modality, you actually can so just to put one more layer on that.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: With our brains, when you're doing EFT tapping and you're tapping on a point and you're disrupting a thought, what they've proven, and I don't know how they do this, I don't know how they get the cameras to record this, but what they found is like, so okay, the way we have a thought is a little um a neuron is like, hey, this is what I think.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then this guy's like, me too.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's I think that.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: I think it me too, me too.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: And then an electrical pulse goes back and forth, and then this becomes a well-traveled path in your thought, right?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: Well, what they've proven is with EFT, it breaks the protein bond and disrupts the electrical pulse going back and forth.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: And when it's done enough times, what happens is then these little guys are like, oh, maybe I'll have a different thought.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: And then the energy will connect with somebody else.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then they start to have, oh, I think that, I think that too.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, hey, me too.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, totally.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then that becomes a new thought.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: So scientifically, it literally disrupts the thought pattern and promotes and then reinforces a new thought pattern inside of our brains.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: And it's wild.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like I just it's shocking because I've been this is all new science that's come out in the last like five years or so.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so as a practitioner, I'm like, ha ha.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it's it sounds like it's affirming what you were already experiencing and knowing in your own lived experience of using the modality.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, you even got Liz all perked up here.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: Liz is my cat if you're not watching the video, and she seems very interested in this conversation.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've never seen her quite be so attentive.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, who is this lady?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Liz knows I love cats.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she can feel it.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: I I also love the connection to the body as well.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: As a somatic practitioner, I've really come to understand that this is how we really do create change and how we heal is when we bring the body into the equation.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it reminds me of what you said and what you shared about your story about how when you were going to, I'm assuming was cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't getting you anywhere.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe you learned some cool tools and some things about yourself, but overall you weren't seeing that change that you wanted.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you incorporated the body using EFT, that's when the change actually started to happen.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly that.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's interesting.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: And and I don't I'm will never hear me discount traditional therapy because some of the insights I gained from a well-trained person, I had no idea.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, absolutely paradigm shattering when I heard a few things that I was uh reflections I was given that none of my friends and the people I bitched to or the family members I complained to ever gave me that same take and that viewpoint.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: And ultimately that really helped me.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: However, I believe, like you said, that only takes you so far because, like I said, we can think something all day, but if we don't feel it in our heart, then we're not actually going to change our totality of our energy, and then we're not gonna feel see a change in the field and the world around us.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I I love how tapping it seems to be very accessible too.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: So could you talk a little bit more about how people can use this technique and why you see it as something that could really move the needle for someone?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's so important to have a plan of action when we are in the hard place.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: And oftentimes when we're in the hard place, we forget our tools.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: And all of a sudden we're down the river, our shoes are on the bank, we don't know what's happening, and there's a thunderstorm coming.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: And we're like, wait, I was just sitting on the shore peaceful.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: How did I end up here?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's just so easy to get swept away when those old patterns, habits, and life things happen.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: And so just having a tool that you can have as a plan of action to just stop it when it comes, or at least make friends with it so it doesn't progress any worse into whatever emotion or situation is coming is huge.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so, like I love doing like a full round or two of EFT.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: It could take five or so minutes.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: I've used EFT in situations where I've had to use the restroom, but I was stuck in traffic and I could have couldn't just to give my body, I've seen it quail a body's urge to need to use a restroom.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: Now, once I got to the exit and I saw the Starbucks, I had but I was like, what am I gonna do?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm stuck in LA traffic.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: And so I've I've I've witnessed it and sent people through that using it to just bring yourself into a homeostasis moment of we're okay no matter what.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: And also the shame spiral.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: You say you make a mistake or you did something, you know, instead of beating yourself all day, letting it get worse and beating yourself up, then even more worse, and then even more.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: And then by the end of the day, you're convinced that you're a complete piece of work because you, I don't know, didn't work out and had a donut, like whatever the things you're you're shaming yourself for, right?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: Which is really not that big of a deal.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: The grand scheme of life.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so having like those tools, like I love to just like tap on the chest if you're like starting to shame spiral, or if you're in a space where like the worry is overtaking you when you're just in that sphere mentality, it's just tapping and saying, everything's working out for me, even if I can't see her right now.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: Everything's working out for me, even if I can't see her right now.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm safe right now.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: Right now, I'm safe.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm safe right now, and just tapping on that chest, it just starts to bring you back into the reality because reality is you're most likely okay.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: In this problem or in this moment, there is no problem.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's the problem.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so just having it be a tool that you can use.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: And also, like you can get up and go to the bathroom if you're in a situation where you feel X, Y, and Z.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: Just get up, go to the bathroom.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: Even though I think this person is making fun of me behind my back, it's all in my head.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm safe.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: Even if they are making fun of me behind my back, fuck it.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm safe.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: Not a reflection of who I am, or you know, social anxiety, you know, can get you where you're just thinking crazy stuff when reality the person you're talking to probably has just as much as anxiety as you do.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, so helpful.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: That is my favorite go-to mantra right on the chest.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: Everything's working out for me, even if I can't see it right now.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_02: How's it gonna get better than this?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: How's it gonna get better?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's going to.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know how, but I'm open.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_02: And just those little phrases such as I'm open to things getting better.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm willing to see things differently.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: There's just open up the door to the possibility.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: And when you can anchor it in by tapping on your chest, that's when you can create that shift.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: I get really curious as I'm hearing you give some examples about the difference between affirmations and tapping.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not someone who I can appreciate affirmations, and I think you and I are gonna be in agreements here that you can't just affirm your way into feeling a certain way.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't work like that because we're getting back to that, you know, thinking your way through a problem.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, can you talk about the difference between just saying affirmations versus tapping in these examples you've given?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I love to always offer people filler words when it comes to tapping in a quote affirmation, because you don't want to set off the inner critic and the judge.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: You want to allow for whatever it is that you are deciding for yourself that you would like to embody to be something that is accessible, safe, and a possibility.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you're doing an affirmation where you're like, and I know everybody knows people like this, and maybe some of us have done it ourselves, I know I have, where you read some book about affirmations and you're like, I'm gonna change my whole life now.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like on your stove, I'm a millionaire, and in your car, it's like I signed 15 clients today, or whatever your version of being successful is.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_02: But yet you've got a stack of bills, your air conditioning's broke, and there's a dent and a crack in your windshield, and you're sneaking around so your landlord doesn't see you.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_02: So if you say those quote affirmations and it is a heck no to the reality that you live in, what it does is it actually blocks it even more.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: It puts a further halt because your body goes, No way, stop lying.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's not safe.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_02: Why would you say that?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: We don't, and then there's that that complete inner critic and that doubt and the fear and the ego and whatever you want to call it that immediately judges.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so affirmations for in my experience only take hold if it's something that you can equate to safety.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: I am safe having a lot of money.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I would initially, whether you're tapping or just saying it out loud, start with, I am safe having more money than I've ever had.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm open to having more money than I've ever had.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm willing to not be in debt anymore.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: My family will love me if I have such and such, and start to build in from those filler opening doors, like willing, available, open to, I'm safe having.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then once that layer is agreed upon with your subconscious mind and you do that through tapping, I'm safe having such and such.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: I am I'm willing to such and such.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_02: Once that safety and curiosity feels like a resident match, then you can take it to the next level.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for that.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: You are doing EFT like in a very safe and sound way that really honors this reality match that has to exist on some inherent level.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not to say that reality can't change, but to think that we can just think our way into a certain experience is just not, it's just not, it just doesn't work.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I I love to have like so much grace for ourselves.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: I had a literal defense mechanism that was keeping people who could love me, men specifically who could love me, away from me.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I didn't get hurt.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: When I can have compassion for that instead of beating myself up for that and saying, I'm a loser, I'm the worst, I always attract these guys that are pieces of shit because I'm a piece of whatever, then that actually keeps us tied to it.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: But when we can be like, okay, I'm safe here, thank you for trying your best to protect me.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_02: We don't do things like that anymore.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_02: That is when you can create that change.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: But it starts with finding the love and compassion for yourself or whatever it is that you want to change in order to change it, not thinking it and being like, I'm gonna muscle through this and I'm gonna do this.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: And if I keep repeating this, then F this and it's gonna go away.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: When in reality, what I've experienced is how important it is to love and accept yourself and love and accept the defense mechanism in order to disarm it.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, because it's a form of protection, right?
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that's a wonderful segue into self-love.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: And we've already kind of been touching on it through our conversation, but how would you describe self-love?
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you know, it's so interesting because self-love I is so profound, and oftentimes we don't realize that we don't have it.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's so interesting.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like I personally thought I had so much confidence and I was, you know, walking into the room thinking I was amazing, but I found out when I was deconstructing my wounds and my patterns that I didn't think I was lovable.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: If my mom didn't love me, then who else is gonna love me?
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: There's inherently something wrong with me if my own mom doesn't want me.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_02: And these are just very innocent thought processes that go into the subconscious as a belief system.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: And so, first just allowing yourself to sit with all of the different parts of you that suck in your mind's eye and finding compassion for them is, in my opinion, the very first step towards self-love.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_02: And when we can just allow ourselves to have compassion for ourselves and realize like we did the best that we could, then it opens up a whole new realm of self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, self-love.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I truly believe if you want to know if you love yourself, look at the relationships, how are everybody in your life treating you?
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_02: Because we teach others how to love us through the way that we love ourselves.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we do.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: And the more that we can just pour into ourselves and set healthy boundaries and compassionately go, even on my worst day, when I do this pattern that I don't want anybody to know about, but it's my self-soothing pattern, I'm still lovable.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_02: Even if I gain 200 pounds, I still deserve community and love.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: Even if such and such, and starting to have that compassion and acceptance, that is where self-love lives.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: When you can have compassionately accept yourself exactly where you are, which doesn't mean you're not going to try and put in the effort to do better, but you can love and accept those parts of you, then that is when the totality of how you allow yourself to be treated shifts.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: And it starts with having that sacred no.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes self-love is disappointing other people.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes self-love is choosing to do something completely different than your family's ever done it before.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes self-love is also allowing yourself to take a compliment gracefully instead of deflecting it.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there's so many, so many ways that you can practice self-love, but it all starts with compassionately accepting yourself where you are.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for that.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's, I believe, the most important part of our healing process is being able to give ourselves that compassion, that grace to understand that all these things that we do that we maybe don't like are really ways of just protecting and keeping ourselves safe.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: And when we can look at it that way, then we can give ourselves that grace and that compassion.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I know it can be easier said than done.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: So for someone who maybe hears this and maybe struggles to give themselves that compassion, what would you say to them?
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: Start tapping.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: I had this client that went through my group coaching program.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_02: I do group coaching twice a year.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it was like maybe two years ago or so.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: This particular client, she was very resistant, fought me on a lot of stuff.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_02: The first month was challenging to the point in which she was on third strike and I was going to remove her from the group.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: But I, you know, I was like, you've three strikes.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_02: This is your last strike.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_02: I believe in you.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: Anyways, I'm sure you can imagine where the story goes.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_02: She had one of the biggest breakthroughs out of the whole entire container of people.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember at the very, very end, she was, we were celebrating our wins because I like to do check and call once a week in addition to our group coaching, where we talk about what we're proud of of ourselves, our wins for the week, whether they're small or big.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_02: And she was saying how she was, she does freelance work and she's like, I negotiated 10 times higher than my rate was last year for a job.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I kept hearing your voice, which was now my voice, saying, I deserve to get paid top dollar for what because what I have to offer is so valuable.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: And she tapped that in enough that that's really began to be her belief system about herself.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_02: And at first it seemed weird.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_02: At first it seemed there's the resistance, there's the defense mechanism, there's the the fear trying to keep you safe.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_02: But if you keep persisting, whether it is just even though I completely love and accept and forgive myself, it's gonna be okay.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_02: Instead of saying, I'm a piece of work, I can't believe I let that person down, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_02: If you can just say, even on my worst day, I love and accept myself, I do not have to be perfect.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_02: I just get to be me.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_02: Even when I such and such, I love and accept myself, anyways.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: Even if I and it's just coming back and tapping on your body and really getting the energy filled in line, creating the new neurological pathway, that is when you shift it.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_02: Every time.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's wild.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: And like the I've got an extremely successful rate, success.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_02: I've got an extremely high success rate and people that go through my programs because when you're under my care, you do EFT every day.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_02: You don't just come to one session with me and then we meet again later.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_02: You have a specific EFT that's personalized to whatever the lesson is that we're working on that you do in your own time every single day.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_02: And that's when you make the shift and can find the love and compassion for yourself, is when you show up every single day and try it again.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_02: Try it on, try it on, try it on, and then eventually it fits.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, consistency.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: So not just tapping every once in a while.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, if you want to create a new neurological pathway and a new identity, yeah, is that re-commitment every single day?
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's literally just like a muscle.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, once and then show up a month later and think you're gonna be able to do the same things or better things, it's every single day.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's like with yoga, that's why it's a practice, is you show up and you practice every single day.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_02: That's like with alcoholics and that are in AA, they're like, keep coming back.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_02: It works if you work it.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: If you show up every day, like the first thing they have you do in 12-step programs is you come to 90 meetings in 90 days.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you every single day can just recommit that this is my choice, this is my choice, this is my choice, then eventually it becomes more of a have a habit than pie in the sky.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_02: So, my advice to anybody who wants to create more self-love and more compassion is to recommit every single day to I love that.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: Recommit every single day in whatever way that looks like for you on that day.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, beautiful.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, should we do some tapping?
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, let's do it.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_02: So, how long do you want to do a little tap for and what do you want to tap around?
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, in honor of our theme, I'd love to tap around this idea of self-love and compassion.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: And time-wise, I'll leave it up to you.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, as long as you think is is necessary.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, no more than than 10 minutes or so.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: Cool, awesome, amazing.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I know we had spoken about the importance of like balance and harmony and you know, just love and being held.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_02: So let's go ahead and for the people whom are not watching this live, I'm going to sh say out loud where to tap yourself.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_02: But if you need to pause and look at a quick little chart, but the basic points are above your eyebrows, outside of your eye, at your cheekbone, between your nose and your lip, chin, beneath collarbone, side of the ribs, and top of the head.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so there's many other points, but these are the quote EFT.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: EFT was a coined system.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_02: Now we've discovered that there's many other meridian points on the hands and all the other things.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_02: So that's why if people do hear EFT tapping, why they say the two words together, because EFT is a very specific set of points where there's actually a lot more since that was coined.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I will say the points um with um with my mouth, but don't worry about getting them wrong.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_02: As long as you're tapping and repeating what I say, then you're all good.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_02: So let's just go ahead and just start to take some breaths.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_02: We'll set the tone with what's called the karate chop point, which is like if you're gonna judo chop somebody, this part of the hand, that's where it's where you tap on.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_02: So literally, hey yeah, that you're tapping.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_02: So just start to tap on this place and just slow the breath down and repeat after me out loud.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_02: Even though I've struggled a bit with self-love, even though I've struggled a bit with self-love, I am here now and I'm willing to change that.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here now and I'm willing to change that.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: Big breath in.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_02: Big breath out.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_02: Ah and even though part of me does want to shift some things.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: And even though part of me does want to shift some things.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm safe where I am.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm safe where I am.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm lovable where I am.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm lovable where I am.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_00: Whether I believe it or not.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: Whether I believe it or not.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: Big breath in.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_02: Go to the eyebrow points.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_02: I do not need to be perfect.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: I do not need to be perfect.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because it does not exist.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because it does not exist.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm imperfect.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm imperfect.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I exist.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I exist.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: Big breath in.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_02: Big breath out.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: Outside of the eye.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm allowing myself to let go of this perfection idea just a little bit.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm allowing myself to let go of this perfection idea just a little bit.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because the truth is.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because the truth is everybody makes mistakes.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody makes mistakes.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's a jerk sometimes.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's a jerk sometimes.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Everything has things that everyone has things they're shameful of.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone has things they're shameful of.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: Big breath in.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: Under the eye.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm no different.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm no different.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_00: I deserve grace.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: I deserve grace.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I give grace.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I give grace.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love and accept myself today.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: I love and accept myself today.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: As much as I'm able.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: As much as I'm able.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's good enough.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that's good enough.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: Take breath in.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_02: The nose I'm letting go of the pressure.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_02: Put on myself to get things exactly right.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm letting go of the pressure I put on myself to get things exactly right.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm allowed to rest.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm allowed to rest.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm allowed to pour into myself.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm allowed to pour into myself.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm allowed to receive love.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm allowed to receive love.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: Big breath in.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_02: Big breath out.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_02: So I love and accept myself in this moment more than I have.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: I love and accept myself in this moment more than I have.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's great.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: Big breath in.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_02: Big breath out.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_02: All of me is worthy.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: All of me is worthy.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_02: There's nothing I need to do to deserve love.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing I need to do to deserve love.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's a million trillion other people in the world.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's a million trillion other people in the world.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's only one of me.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: There's only one of me.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I honor my uniqueness as a gift.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I honor my uniqueness as a gift.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I love and accept myself more now than I have.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I love and accept myself more now than I have.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's good enough.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's good enough.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_00: Big breath in.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_02: The chest.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_02: I let myself off the hook.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: I let myself off the hook.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_02: I choose to honor me.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_00: I choose to honor all of me.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really proud of how far I've come.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really proud of how far I've come.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_00: I've been through some stuff.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_00: I've been through some stuff.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_02: I've gotten through stuff because I'm a hundred percent successful at doing so.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: I've gotten through stuff because I'm a hundred percent successful at doing so.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_00: Good job, me.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: Good job, me.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_00: Big breath in.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_02: So I choose to be kind to myself today.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_02: I choose to be kind to myself today.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_02: It is safe for me to send compassion to myself today.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_00: It is safe for me to send compassion to myself today.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I let go of all of the criticism just for today.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I let go of all of the criticism just for today.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm safe choosing this for me.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm safe choosing this for me.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_02: There's so many other people that are willing to criticize and judge me.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many other people that are willing to criticize and judge me.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not do it to myself.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna not do it to myself.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_00: I choose to be on my own side.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: I choose to be on my own side.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: With love and compassion.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_02: With love and compassion.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_02: Side of the ribs.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_02: I deeply forgive myself for holding myself hostage.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_00: I deeply forgive myself for holding myself hostage.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone makes mistakes.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone makes mistakes.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I let go of the past.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I let go of the past.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I love and accept myself right where I am.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I love and accept myself right where I am.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that's enough.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that's enough.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_02: Top of the head.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_02: I invite safety into my nervous system.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_02: I invite safety into my nervous system.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_02: I invite ease into the way I treat myself.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: I invite ease into the way I treat myself.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm totally allowed to mess it up.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm totally allowed to mess it up.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'll love and accept myself, anyways.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I love and accept myself, anyways.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_02: And just let your hands come down.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_02: Just take some breaths here.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_02: Just before moving on or doing thing.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_02: Just notice.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_02: Notice how you feel.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_02: Notice the spaciousness that is now inside of your body.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_02: Notice that perhaps you're able to take deeper breaths.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_02: Wrap yourself up with an ocean of love.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_02: And when you're ready, come back.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for that, Veronica.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_00: That was really beautiful.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_00: And towards the end, I could feel some kind of like tears welling up behind my eyes.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the emotional freedom part of the technique.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: Is that common to have emotions come backwards?
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_02: The best thing that it's it's great that it does.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_02: You don't want to live there, but it's so huge when it does.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: And it will shift.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I oftentimes we'll have people, especially when they're new on their journey with me, that's are like, I couldn't get through the EFT the first two days without crying and crying and crying.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_02: And by day four and five, I was like, okay, I accept this.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_02: This feels better.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just a part of the process of allowing yourself to open up the energy channels to move whatever needs to move.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_00: But it's very, very common.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've experienced that in the past before too.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_00: I I also get curious about the combination of the words and the tapping.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_00: If like the tapping without the words would still produce a similar effect, or if it's the combination of the two that's really necessary.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because I've I've, you know, sometimes I'll see people just tapping, or even I've been in the car and I've just kind of tapped and hadn't, you know, consciously created words around it.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_02: You can do it in your head, like if you're like if you're in traffic or if you're in there and you don't want somebody to see you talking to yourself.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_02: But it is more powerful with the actual words coming out up and out of your mouth.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_02: Makes sense.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, sometimes like I had I woke up the other night, I was having a hard time falling back asleep.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was like, in my head, I'm safe falling asleep.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_02: Every anxiety is trying to come forth.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_02: Can wait.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_02: Love and accept myself.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_02: But I was saying it in my head because I was just too lazy and tired to actually like do a full round.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_02: So I was just tapping in my mind's eye, you know.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_02: And but I highly suggest that the magic, the special sauce comes from the words and the vibration and the words of the actions of putting it out there.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, makes sense.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if listeners are feeling inspired, is are they able to create kind of like their own words and phrases to tap on?
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or are there like specific sort of elements that you're incorporating that are maybe not known to someone who doesn't have your level of training and expertise?
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_02: I always suggest, you know, starting with a practitioner.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_02: People can go to my YouTube channel and get get different EFTs.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I've got a free summit in October as well where we tap for five days straight.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_02: I I suggest doing it with the expert first because there's some key components that you cannot skip when it comes to the crafting of the words.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_02: And that is loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are, and choosing to let go of something with love and compassion because you choose to do it.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_02: And so you're gonna tap in whatever the heck it is you say.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so you definitely it is important to understand the rules, but they're pretty easy.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_02: And once you get them, you get them.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um and moving in from that space.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_02: And also, like you will reinforce.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_02: So a random example, one of the five million things I've done when it comes to EFT is I have a 21-day financial abundance course where we literally just attune our energies to having extra cash.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so the EFTs I do in that 21-day challenge are very specific.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's where's the money gonna come?
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna get checks in the mail today?
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna get an inheritance?
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna win the lottery?
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm just putting out in the field to uh the participants these different if you don't know how what you're doing and you're tapping and you're accidentally shaming yourself or saying something, yeah, and you're not saying it right because like part of like the manifestation and part of the alignment that is key is you believe that it's here now.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_02: If you believe that it's coming, it's always coming.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_02: And if you believe that it's gonna happen at some point to you because you deserve it, it's better than saying it's never gonna happen to me.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_02: However, that actually does keep it there as opposed to here.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_02: So there's little finite stuff like that.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_02: If you're choosing to tap, you're going to align with it.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_02: So just being making sure you are fully guided and educated in how to create that shift in your reality that is exactly what you want to have happen.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, makes sense.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_00: As you're sharing that, I'm I'm reflecting on internal family systems and how how hard it is to kind of do that work internally by yourself.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_00: You really do need someone to kind of like hold that sort of self-energy, that more neutral perspective that isn't operating out of fear or control or lack.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that's where someone like you comes in to kind of hold and anchor that yeah, that energy, that frequency for people to help them.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_02: But I always suggest, especially to my clients, like you always can just tap on your chest and say everything's working out for me.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_02: Right now.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_02: Or just even though I'm pissed at myself, I still deserve love.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_02: Even though I'm pissed about this, I'm safe.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like you can get those little phrases that you have as your anchors in those moments of hard times.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_02: But as far as like actually doing like full and EFT work, it's you know, obviously you want to have somebody that can help and guide you.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_02: But once you get the rules, you get the rules.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, makes sense.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Veronica, if people are wanting to tap with you, you mentioned you have this summit coming up in October.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_00: Could you tell us more about that?
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_02: So in October 12th through the 16th, I do this twice a year.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's called Finally Breaking Free.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_02: And this is a five-day free online summit where we tap every single day.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_02: And then we have guest speakers in the evening and everything is recorded.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're across the world, I've got people from like 20 plus countries that come every year.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_02: And so if you're in a different time zone and you can't be there live, you can watch it on the replay and whatnot.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just my gift to get people a full week of tapping every day so you can actually feel the real time shift that you can create with these tools.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_02: And then moving forward, if it's something you want to continue, there's multiple ways to stay in alignment with myself as well as the practitioners that I get to feature.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, wonderful.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_00: Are our listeners able to register if they're feeling the call?
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_02: So finally breakingfree.com.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_02: If this is coming out in Libra season season, I'm gonna tell you.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_02: So we should be good to go.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_02: Uh finally breakingfree.com is when I'm gonna I'm gonna open up registration in a couple weeks.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_00: So wonderful.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we'll get all of that in the show notes, and then you're welcome to share any other ways that listeners can connect with you if you'd like.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_02: My Instagram and my YouTube are two fantastic ways to get a hold of me.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_02: My Instagram is Veronica Asia AJ Kelly, but I'm sure that will be in show notes.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_02: And then in my Instagram, go to my link tree and you can find all the different ways, all the things I do.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_02: Wonderful.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love I do full moon ceremonies every month on my YouTube.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_02: So an EFT tapping and clearing too that goes along with the themes and the moon.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I know that'll bring your viewers value.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, great.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'll put all of that in the show notes for listeners to check out if they're feeling inspired.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know I'm feeling very inspired, and I do feel a lot more clear after our tapping today.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: I noticed I'm sitting up a little bit taller and I've got a little bit more energy about me.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm curious myself to continue tapping with you and and seeing what ships I can create in my own world.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm saying.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I actually just did a podcast not long ago with an amazing tapping practitioner, and she got done and she's like, I think I need to hire you.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's just magical when you get to be in someone who's who understands and shares like the goals and values of you, and yeah, and you can align yourself with EFT in that manner because what works for you and feels really good to you may not for somebody else.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_02: And so there's a practitioner and an expert for everybody.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's just finding them and the modality and then recommitting every day to that shift.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_00: And one final thing I'll say that I really appreciate about your perspective is I can tell just by the way you carry yourself and the way you speak that you have done a lot of studying of the nervous system.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if you're intending to pre-presenting your work in a more trauma-informed way, but that's what I'm picking up on as I'm receiving it, which I really appreciate.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's not always the case when people are doing um more kind of we've we've solidified that this isn't just woo-woo.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_00: And for people who are, you know, more on that more woo-woo side, I think sometimes there can be just a lacking of of safety that's created.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I really appreciate you.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_02: Safety's the key.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's it.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_02: I I say it all the time.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_02: It does not matter what you do, if you don't feel safe doing it, your body won't.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_02: It is wild.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's just it's the special sauce.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_02: Safety is the special sauce of healing.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, I love that.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little quote.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_00: We'll put that on one up on our Instagram too.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_00: Safety is the special sauce of healing.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I say that often.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was good.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_00: I like it.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_00: We'll quote you.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_00: Wonderful.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, thanks again for your time today, Veronica.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_00: This has been a really rich discussion and um really appreciate you being here today and sharing your medicine and your wisdom and your story with our listeners.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_02: My literal pleasure.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_02: And as I love to always say, when one of us chooses to shift and change, then we give the people in our lives permission to shift and change and grow.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_02: That gives the people in their lives permission to shift and change and grow.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_02: So just by doing this work for ourselves, we actually truly create a shift in the change in the world.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_02: And so just thank you everybody for being here today and choosing that bold step of shifting and changing and growing because you're truly helping to change the world.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_00: And a little woman.