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SMNTY Fiction: Terminus (Chapter 8.1) · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to Stephan
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: never told your protection of iHeartRadio. And welcome to our
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Sminty fiction segment, which is a once a month thing
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: where our excellent superproducer Christina comes in makes something amazing
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: out of some words I wrote in twenty ten for
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Nano Rimo. It is ongoing. It is, yes, once a month,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: but I do think we might have missed a month. Anyway,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: it's happening. Yeah, we had a love stuff and when
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: you have short months, yeah, keep it together. It is.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: We get a lot going on. So this is chapter
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: eight of Terminus, but I actually think it's chapter seven
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: because there was a mishap somewhere. I can't tell if
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: it was in my original document, which I have like
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: seven documents, and I think I'm pulling from a bunch
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: of different ones where I edited. I've made small edits,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: you know, and then they're essentially the same, but one
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: of them is better. I think I'm pulling from like
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: the first one I wrote. Anyway, I'm pretty sure this
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: is actually chapter seven, but because it was such a
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: long chapter, we have split it into two. So this
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: is going to be eight point one, and I was
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: telling you, Samantha, because my chapter links are wildly varying.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I think it's because I like to end. I'm kind
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: of you're like, what like I like to end on
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: a they called a button in acting, but you know,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: or you want to go to the next chapter. But
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: this was quite a longer chapter because I guess it
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: took a while for me to get to that button.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: So we split it up and content warning before we
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: get into it, because this is yeah, if this is
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: not you're saying, this is like the worst time for
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: it to be coming out. But anyway, all right, So
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: the world is kind of dying off because of this
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: sex based virus that's just killing everybody. Because of this virus.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Any child basically, once you have vaginal penis intercourse, if
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: you don't get pregnant, then that's it. No more pregnancy
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: for you. So any child who is born is born
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: under the jurisdiction of the Board of Better Parenting and
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: this religious organization called arm ARM who works with the governments,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: and they believe that the virus is due to the
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: sinful nature of humanity. So after giving birth to a
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: child outside of a conception center illegally, Tilda runs away
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: with her son, Madison, in order to keep him from
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: being separated from her. And so this takes place seven
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: years later, when she and Madison are facing the stark circumstances.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Winter is coming. They're clothes are thin, they don't have
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: any supplies, and in their inspiration they were captured by
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: the governments enforcers who had been looking to capture them
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: because they are a quote priority number one case. However,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Tilda and Madison are able to escape, but Tilda is
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: shot car chases running away. Tilda is now recovering under
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: the care of a woman named Flynn, while wrestling with
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: this really low self worth about her parenting and fears
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: of being discovered by enforcers. So that's here. I guess
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: that was a synostis not the content warning. The content
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: warning is a depression, sadness, loss of child, stigma around sex,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: internalized ableism, around disease. And I just want to say,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I wrote this in twenty ten, and oh my goodness,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, this is so much like the Last
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: of Us. Okay, they go to Kansas City. Oh, the
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Last of Us came out in twenty thirteen. But the ideas,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: you know, they're always out there in the ether. But
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: if you hear a lot of similarities, I swear I
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: wrote this before I ever played the last it was.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: But okay, with all of that out of the way,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: let us get in two, chapter eight point one of Terminus.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Distorted images unfurled Tilda's mind, both feeding them and devouring them.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: She was writing a word, over and over and over again.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: She didn't know what the word meant, only that she
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: had to keep writing it, even though her fingers cramped
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: her wrist eight, her arm heavy like lead. She wanted
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: to stop. The pencil reduced down to the stub, papers
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: crammed with the word she could not read, littering the floor,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: her handwriting growing progressively worse. She wanted to scream, to
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: ask to know why she was condemned to this word,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: why she was shackled to something. She didn't understand what
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: it meant, but she had no voice. She sat at
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: a desk like the one she sat at when she'd
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: been instructed on the dangers of sex, the penalties of intercourse.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Outside of a conception center and without state approval, the
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: room was barren, HER's the only desk, the walls gray stripped,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: A scratched blackboard, somehow ominous, stretching out before her, encompassing
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: her view. Behind her, there was no wall. Though she
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: could not see this or turn to verify it, she
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: could sense that nothing stood between her and the world
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: she had her back to. She could feel the monochrome
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: park abandoned, leaching the life out of her, as if
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: through water. She heard a female voice screaming, but she
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: hunched her shoulders in to shield herself from the woman's pain,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: doing all she could to ignore it. She couldn't face it.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: She'd rather write this word she didn't understand until her
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: fingers rought it off, than to face whatever was happening
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: behind her. But the screaming was getting harder and harder
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: to ignore. Tilda gasped herself awake, her heart pounding. It
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: took a moment for her to remember where she was
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: waking up, warm and comfortable and alien sensation to her now,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: but the events of the day came flooding back to her,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: almost a dream in itself. So much had happened in
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: such a short time her eyes did not adjust, so
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: complete was the darkness. She relaxed back into the pillow,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: jumping again when something moved by her side. Madison curled
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: up against her, the blankets hiding him from view. Tilda
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: released a shaky breath, petting his hair absently. When a
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: flash of light caught her eyes, she whipped her head
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: toward the window, where the edges of wide beams of
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: illumination played with the curtains. The enforcers had found them,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: just as Tilda knew they would. But despite the fear
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: the racing of her heart, Tilda found she was too
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: tired to care, and she sank into darkness again. When
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: she next opened her eyes, it was morning, or at
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: least it felt like morning. The sun cast a light
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: made gray by the many clouds in the sky. Her
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: head ached with the intensity of her sleep, like she'd
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: almost drowned in it, gone so deep she nearly passed
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: the point of no return. Growing aloud, she sat up,
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: her back popped in protest. She massaged her temples, trying
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: to find strength to get out of bed. The smell
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: of cooking food and cheerful voices convinced her to rally.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Fighting with the blankets and her footing, she hoppled down
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: the hall, bumps in her hair bouncing from the odd
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: way it dried, pressed against the pillow. Madison was laughing
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: when Tilda entered the kitchen. He was assisting Lynne at
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: the stove. The woman helping him stir some batter. Splotches
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: of flowers streaked his cheeks and dotted his nose as
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: he regaled Lynne with all the facts he knew about
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: random forest animals. Lynde caught sight of Tilda first and
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: gestured to her with her eyebrows. Madison, who was in
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: the middle of explaining all about wild turkeys, stopped mid sentence,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: mouth comically agape as he called Tilda's name, and rushed
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: over to her, greeting her with an enthusiastic hug. We're
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: making pancakes, he told her, gleefully as she carted her
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: hand through his hair that seemed out of the realm
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: of possibility to Tilda, a food that had to be
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: long extinct. At the flabbergasted expression on Tilda's face, Linds applied,
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: they're made with oat and honey. I don't have milk,
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: so we'll have to use water and honey for the
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: syrup as well. She planted flowery hands on her hips.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: I was listening off options for breakfast, and the poor
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: deer had no idea what I was talking about when
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I mentioned pancakes. I had to remedy that postaste. Batter
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: poured out onto the griddle was a sizzle. Madison bounced
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: over watching Lynne avidly Lynde says everyone loved them. He
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: told Tilda, all struck. Did you like them? Tilda dropped
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: into a chair, old memories like movies playing in the
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: back of her mind, her mother asking her how she'd
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: like her pancakes. Even then they were a bit of
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: a rarity. Yes, she grinned with blueberries and sometimes chocolate chips.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Wide hazel eyes roved up towards Lynn, who chuckled just
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: plain this time. She flipped the pancakes and Madison giggle delighted.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Get us some water, will you? Madison obeyed, filling a
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: glass for each of them and setting them on the
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: table one at a time, and the fruit. The boy
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: pulled a bowl of fruit from the refrigerator and put
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: it in the center of the table. Then he turned
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: back to Lynn, mesmerized as she piled the finished pancakes
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: onto a plate and then poured some more batter. How'd
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: you sleep, Tilda thought a minute, Well, I guess I
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: slept all day again mostly. Lynn flipped the pancakes and
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Madison giggled again. Tilda licked her lips, dredging up foggy memories.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: I thought I saw lights. The woman faltered, siting this
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: second batch of pancakes onto the plate. Yes, we'll discuss
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: it after breakfast. Tilda address Madison. Are you feeling better?
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Forgot to ask you yesterday? Better? Mass and chirped, no
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: more cold. Lynne got me medicine. Good, Tilda side relieved,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: you sound better. Lynne finished up the last of the
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: pancakes and set them on the table, along with some honey.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Here we go, she said, scooping three onto each plate
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: and putting forks by each setting. Put some honey on them.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Just a little, she laughed, as Madison up ended the
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: bottle over the warm and fluffy pancakes. Now take your time,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: she instructed, firmly, mirth in her voice. As Madison froze
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: with a heaping forkful of pancake hovering in front of
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: his unhinged jaw, he bit off half instead, His face
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: screwed up in concentration as he tried to savor every
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: second and pick out every flavor. The expression quickly morphed
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: to joy as the taste set in, and he bit
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: off the rest, already shoveling up another forkful. His enjoyment
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: of the pancakes amplified Tilda's the oats, making them heartier
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: than she remembered. Not much was said as they ate.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Tilda had to pace herself so as not to get sick.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: At the start of the meal, she'd promised herself to
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: take a sip of water between every bite, but her
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: resolution didn't last. Soon the plates were cleaned, Madison skipping
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: up to the sitting room to read after his help
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: was turned down and cleaning up. For a while, the
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: only sound was the clattering of plates as they were
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: washed and put away. Then Lynne spoke in a low voice.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Enforcers were outside the house last night. Tilda sank into
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: her chair, drained. They have no way of knowing you're here,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Lynn reassured her. The car. Tilda whispered, They found the car, car,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Lynne repeated. Tilda swallowed. Lynde took the chair across from her.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: We I stole a car from the enforcers. Lynne drew back, surprised.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: I left it in the car wash. A fruit streets down.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: They knew I was wounded, that I couldn't make it
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: very far. Despair grew with every word she uttered, Her
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: stomach royaled, and her delicious pancakes threatened to make a reappearance.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: The older woman leaned forward, her face soft. Tell me
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: what happened? What I said? Tilda said, shakily. We were
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: captured by two enforcers. They stopped to get mass and
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: some cold medicine. We escaped and I took the car,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: but they shot me. We made it here, hit the car,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: and I collapsed somewhere near your house. Apparently, Lynne studied
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: her for a long moment. Tilda, uncomfortable, muttered, we have
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: to leave Madison and I. They'll find us. No. Linda disagreed,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: reaching forward to grasp Tilda's hand. It's no place her
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: children out there, Tilda averted her eyes. I can take
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: care of Madison. Shame welled up in her at the lie.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: You're just a child yourself, When kept her voice low,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: not wanting to attract Madison's attention, tell me what happened,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: Tilda opened her mouth to point out she'd already explained.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Lynn clarified, I mean you're much too young, to have
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: a child's age, not a state approved one in a
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: conception center. There was no judgment in the observation. Tilda
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: looked away, opening her mouth and closing it again. Then
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: she shook her head, unable to speak. The sores felt
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: tight on her face. She flexed her hands to keep
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: from scratching them. Lynn seemed to take a moment to
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: gather her thoughts before leaning forward. You can stay here,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I can keep you hidden. You'd be safer A warm bed,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: warm food, clothes, medicine, a chance for you to teach Madison.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: He can play with toys, breathe do arithmetic. It'd be
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: so much safer for both of you. It all sounded
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: so not to worry about the weather. Where they were
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: going to sleep that night, where they would get their
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: next meal. But the enforcers would find them. They wouldn't
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: stop until they did. The longer she and Madison stayed,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: the greater chance they had of being discovered. I can't,
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: she whispered. Though Tilda's decoration was barely audible, Lynne recoiled
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: as though it had been shouted, Blinking in surprise. She
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: took a moment and tried a different track, imploring think
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: of Madison. He deserves to be safe, to be happy.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: He's one of the few children we have left to us.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Her words felt like a blow, but Tilda didn't back down.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: The enforcers will keep looking. They won't stop until they
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: find him. Sadness flashed across Lynn's face, something almost calculating
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: following in its wake. Madison could stay, you could leave,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: draw away the enforcers. Though the words were not said
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: maliciously and obviously cost Lynne a great deal of grief
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: to say them, they still cut Tilda deeply. Leaving Madison
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: was an option she had never even considered, and she
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: supposed on some level that demonstrated what a poor candidate
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: she was to raise him. Keeping Madison safe, even if
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: it meant never seeing him again, was more important than anything.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Lynne knew that, so did Tilda. But Tilda wasn't strong
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: enough to make the hard decisions. She never had been,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: and that's why they were here in the first place.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: She couldn't let the state take Madison from her, the
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: state that would have found him a loving family, that
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: could have provided for him. She was just a dangerously
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: inept substitute for the real thing. She heard herself say
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: it's not me they want. They want Madison. They'll think
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Madison is with you. Lynne countered. They won't realize until
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: it's too late, or you might have aid them forever.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Who knows, we both do. Tilda thoughts, and it lingered
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: between them, as if she had spoken, allowed, you can
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: trust me. I'll keep him safe. They'll never find him. Here.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: Tilda could see a shadow of Lyne's pass shining through,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: a woman so excited about a baby that she picked
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: him out coloring books before he was even born, imagining
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: all the things they do together and everything she'd teach him,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: wondering what his favorite color would be, what foods would
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: he like, what games would he play, and what subjects
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: would fascinate him, all the wonderful and terrifying unknown things.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Lynne must be envious of Tilda, and on some level
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: bitter that Tilda, a young woman who never planned on
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: a child, who had never sought to have one, and
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: who had little to no parenting skills, had a child
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: while Lynde did not. Tilda had thought these things herself.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: They will they pick up on the little things. Someone
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: will notice that you're picking up more food than normal.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Are clothes for a child, children's books, toys. People want
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: to believe there's a child around, They'll cling to any
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: sign of one. It will spread and people will think
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: they're just rumors, But the enforcers will be there watching.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: When you think you're alone. Silence fell, faint, shock registering
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: on Lyne's face. Years of dodging enforcers had made it.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Tilda observant of all the tiny details, small things that
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: could bring everything crashing down around you in an instant.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: For every incompetent enforcer, there was a deadly one lurking
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: unseen in the shadows. On more than one occasion, only
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: some small random event had saved Tilda and Madison from capture,
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: probably more than she knew. In this she was more
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: experienced than Lynne, and the sureness in her words surprised
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: even herself. She'd never spoken these things aloud. Apart from
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: the occasional rules she gave for Madison to follow. It
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: was just a part of her now habits and safeguards
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: she did without giving them name or conscious thought. Madison's
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: too curious to keep hidden anyway, Tilda added a hint
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: of humor in her exhausted voice, Flustered in a tad
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: and dignet Lynn vallied, I can handle one child. As
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: if on cue, Madison's voice rang from the sitting room.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: What does sob ra a ninga mean? Despite everything? Tilda
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: smile tiredly affectionately. What was that mouse? Again? He tried
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: to pronounce the word, adding an extra syllable. The second time,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Lynn mount to Tilda social studies aloud. She said, spell
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: it for his dear s O V E r e
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I g n grin widening. Tilda called to him, it's
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: pronounced sovereign. Sovereign, he repeated thoughtfully and again to second time.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Then he inquired, almost suspiciously, Are you sure it's got
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: a G in it? Pretty sure? Tilda could imagine his face,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: brow creased, finger tracing the letters, trying to find meaning
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: in the symbols. Lynn spoke up. It means independent are
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: supreme authority, like a monarch or country. Oh. There was
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: a pause for a moment, then a more excited oh.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: The word fell into place. The senates understood. Thanks. Both
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: women smiled, but their eyes still carried the burden of
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: his future. Tilda felt in some way she had won,
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: although she couldn't say what or why You've done a
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: good job with him. Tilda would have scoffed, but the
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: sincerity in the woman's voice had her lifting her gaze
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: to Lyne's disbelief obvious on her face, Lynne reached forward
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: and gripped one of Tilda's hands. You have He's a
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: bright little boy, an excellent reader. A little on the
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: thin side, as are you, but that's to be expected,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: she observed lightly, How long have you been on the run? Dazedly,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: the answer came to Tilda almost six years behind her glasses.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Lynne's eyes narrowed and her forehead crinkled. Madison is seven. Yes.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: At Tilda's confirming nod, she clarified, stiltedly, you skate with
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Madison when he was one year old. Scratching her no
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: self consciously, Tilda muttered an affirmative. Aghast all dawned like
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: molasses across Lynde's face. How did you escape? Unaccountably? Embarrassed
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: by Lynn's scrutiny, Tilda bit her lip, unable to think
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: of something she could say that could cut to the
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: point and make it so she didn't have to say
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: anything else that was part of her life. She avoided
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: thinking about a fuzzy nightmare that could only hurt on
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: further inspection. Most of the time, it didn't even feel
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: like reality, but a dream she'd had years ago that
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: still lingered in the deepest recesses of her memory. She'd
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: been so young, then, impulsive, and for better or worse,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: here she and Madison were because of it. Regaining her stride,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Lynne continued, you can't go on as you have, that's
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: no sort of life. I have no idea how you've
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: carried on this long. Tilda had no response for that.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Lynne was making her feel young and silly, and the
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: older woman's gentle ripprimand her shock at what lives had
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: been gave Tilda renewed perspective on how dangerous their situation was,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: how ridiculous it was for her to think they could
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: continue this. And definitely, we can't stay here, Tilda reiterated,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: her voice barely above a whisper. We can't. Lynne opened
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: her mouth to argue further, but Tilda's set face stopped her.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: There's nothing I can say to change your mind, she tried. Resigned,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Tilda shook her head, wishing her answer could be different.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Lynne straightened hand splayed on the table. What will you do?
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: A shrug of the shoulders was the only answer Tilda had.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: What we've been doing. I guess how will you get
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: out without the enforcers? Knowing a heavy sized skate pass
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Tilda's lips. What she'd done her whole life suddenly insurmountable
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: at night, We'll stick to dark alleys. Lynde's disapproval of
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: this plan was evident on her face. A tinge sourly,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: she followed up with, and where will you go if
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: the enforcers don't get you first? We were heading west,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Tilda offered, flimsily, feeling like an underprepared student under a
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: strict teacher's microscope. I hear there are less enforcers out there,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: less state officials, only the one conception center in California.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: A fierce battle seemed to be waging inside Lynn's mind.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: With a weary huff, she hung her head, running a
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: frustrated hand through graying hair. Tilda watched her, nonplussed and distracted,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: already plotting various escape routes. There's a place, Lynn forced out,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: in a hushed voice, giving in in Kansas City, somewhere
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: near the Liberty Memorial. Dan Moscov told me about it.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: It's against my better judgment to tell you this. She
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: broke off, glancing towards the sitting room where Madison sat
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: reading oblivious. There's an underground resistance there, she paused, licked
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: her lips, her face, grim. They are working on a cures,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: like a void is sucked out the air in the kitchen.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: What the word fell from Tilda's lips and dropped like
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: a dead thing between them, dull and lifeless. She felt
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: sure she'd misheard. Lynn rubbed her face. A cure. I
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: hear they're close. At least, I've heard rumors that she
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: trailed off, staring at a blank space on the wall.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: A cure, Tilda choked out to h V five. An
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: odd half shrug, half nod, accompanied by a desperate peal
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: of laughter was the woman's response. No more sores. People
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: could have babies again. Tilda's mind could not fathom such
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: a world. Lyne's shoulders twitched again. I don't know, maybe,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: but at the very least it should be somewhere you
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: could hold up, stay safe. Dan told me they have
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: quite the system going. Tilda couldn't help herself. Can you
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: trust Dan? She didn't want to get to Kansas City
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: only to find nothing. Yes, Lynn looked loath to admit it.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: He wouldn't lie. Honesty is just who he is. It's
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: a makeup. Tilda fidgeted with her hands. Do you think
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: there's a cure? Is that there could be one? As
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: a doctor, it sounded too good to be true, the
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: wishful thinking of a dying race a lie propagated to
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: give some sense of hope. Lynn meant her eyes regaining
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: some control. Yes, HSV five is not Unlike other diseases.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Humanity has overcome the only anomaly allies in patient zero.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: We never could pinpoint from where the disease originated or
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: how I managed to remain dormant until the first instance
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: of intercourse. But other than that, I've always thought that
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: a cure was possible. I kept waiting to hear the
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: announcement of one, in fact, but it never came, and
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: we grew less and less. The possibility of a cure
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: had never occurred to Tilda. She just accepted HSV five
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: as part of their lives and a movable object, a blight.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: They'd all accept it as fact now and forever. A
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: life without it, a life where Madison didn't have to
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: fear being stolen away to conception centers, wouldn't have to
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: face the shame that came with the sours of sterility
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: on his face. Could have a family, She could envision it,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: she wondered if Madison could. But if there was a chance,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: she had to try for Madison, how far as Kansas
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: City Lynde's face twisted. Tilda's decision obviously made, She sighed heavily,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: not far by car, about a day and a half,
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: squalk eyed guess with prospective gain from years of being
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: a nomad that didn't seem far, not at all, this
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: was doable completely The enforcers complicated things. Do the enforcers
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: know about this resistance? Lynn rejoined, I can't see how
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: they wouldn't, But they don't know where it is, or
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: else they would have been shut down by now, as in,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: they don't know what's city or I don't know it's dangerous.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Tilda ruminated on this, thinking of what she knew about
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: the enforcers, their numbers, their strategies, their technology, trying to
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: anticipate what she and Madison might face. But she didn't
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: know enough to make an accurate prediction. They'd have to
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: be extremely cautious if you're set on this, Lynde started darkly,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: a minute pause where she waited hopefully for Tilda to
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: contradict her. When she didn't, Lynne continued dispiritedly, you'll need
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: warmer clothes. Ah in the whirlwinds set off in her
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: thoughts by the word cure. She'd d forgotten about the
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: weather and Rashian's I'm not sending you in Madison, out
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: there with no food and water. She sat back in
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: her chair, crossing her arms. I wish you weren't going
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: at all. Tilda gave her a half smile, saying delicately,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: you would have been a great mother. Lynn Tears glistened
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: in the woman's eyes. A shaking hand pressed to her mouth.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: You've got the worrying and carrying thing down pat That
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: garnered a watery chuckle from Lynne, her shoulders dissolving into shakes.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: Tilda didn't know how to offer to comfort her, so
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: she stood witness, witness to all of the damage drought
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: by HSV. Five families ripped apart, futures obliterated, Hope's loss,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: a race facing slow extermination. So much devastation caused by
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: a mindless virus so small it was invisible to the
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: naked eye. The tears passed, and Lynne visibly pulled herself
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: together with a snuffle. She asked, when will you leave?
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Tilda looked out the window, weighing the pros and cons
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: of staying one more night versus taking off once the
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: sun had set. She flexed her leg experimentally, only to
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: find a ghost of her previous pain. Tonight, we'll leave tonight,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Lynne sacked. You really should wait one more night. Your
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: leg is still healing, but Tilda shook her head. The
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: longer we stay, the harder it will be to leave.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: A giggle came from the sitting room. Every year of
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Lynn's life, every heartbeak carved deeply into her skin, making
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: her look frail. But then she stealed herself. Well, we'd
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: better start packing, then, hadn't we. She got to her feet,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: more in control now that she had something she could do,
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: striding down the hall and disappearing into a room at
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: the end of it. Tilda considered following her, checking to
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: see if she needed any help, but she sensed to
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Lynne wanted a moment alone to collect herself. Tilda sat
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: staring vacantly at the wooden table, wanting to put off
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: dealing with what was to come as long as possible,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: A course of doubt rising now that she'd made her decision.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: When she finally pulled enough strength, she stood tiny details
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: of the kitchen jumping out around her. The peeling wallpaper,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: bagel blue stripes, the countertop, chipped in places, wide slatted blinds,
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: and flowery drapes on the window over the sink. A
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: spatula painted like a snowman. This was home, these things,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: screamed at her, leaping in her mind's eye. This is
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: what you've been searching for. Why leave? And that brings
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: us to the end of our fiction segment for this month.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: You will get part two of chapter eight, Sue Niche
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: within a month. If you're thinking about, well, that didn't
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: end where I thought it would. Yeah, well it wasn't
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: intended to, but here we are. I did want to
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: briefly address Lynn's reaction to kind of trying to convince
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Tilda like, hey, you could give me Madison, Like I
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: could take care of Madison and you could go out
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: and kind of this like very subtle tension. Well, I
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: don't know, you could argue with me about subtle but
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: between Lenn and Tilda, where Tilda fells like a and
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: would have been such a better mother than I would be.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: But I can't leave Madison because this has been my
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: whole thing. I never intended and I hope it didn't
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: come off this way, but yeah, again, you can argue
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: with me about it. I meant it more to be
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: kind of like a two women talking about what was
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: the best option they could take, and much less like
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: a kind of catfight kind of thing, which I don't
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: think it is, but I just when I was reading it,
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I was kind of like, oh, this is kind of
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: more tense than I remember it, but you know, arguing
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: about like what it's the best thing for this child
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: when there aren't that many children left, and ultimately Lynn
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: is like, yeah, I trust you, and it is cool,
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: like it is cool to see that moment of Tilda
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: being like, actually I have been doing I have been
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: taking care of him, and I have seen this world
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: and all this stuff, so I do know more about
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: it in this context. But yes, this is sort of
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: the you know, it's nice. She has a nice home,
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: she has like working electricity, she has food. It would
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: be nice to stay there, Untilda being like, we can't
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: stay because there's this danger and it'll put lennon danger.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: It will put them in danger, making that tough decision
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: and then deciding to leave. But and watch will happen next? Well,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: you shall see, yes, And if you have any theories,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: I love hearing them. You can email us at Stuff Media,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: on Twitter at mom to podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Stuff will Never Told You and i'lso YouTube if that's
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: your thing. Thanks as always to our super producer, Christina,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Thank you, and thanks to you for listening Stuff and
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Never Told Us production of iHeartRadio. For more podcast from
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: my Heart Radio, you can check out The Heart Radio
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: at Apple podcast or if you listen to your favorite
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: shows and Samantha