Latest / The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast / 157 Reality Transurfing | Overcome Guilt

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157 Reality Transurfing | Overcome Guilt · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  You know, I've let go of the guilt on myself, which frees my energy for a lot more positive things.
• 0:07
  And therefore I'm not ruminating over how I'm going to get revenge, how I'm going to seek and force him to get.
• 0:17
  Treatment.
• 0:18
  Which it's not going to happen, and that is force.
• 0:21
  Picture any argument you've ever witnessed before, and you will see there's a victim and then a victimizer.
• 0:27
  And once that victim has been picked on enough, it will go into victimizer.
• 0:32
  And that is a never ending cycle until you get out of that punishment phase.
• 0:38
  So if you pick up on somebody feeling guilty, you're gonna strike out at them.
• 0:44
  And this happens so unconsciously, it happens when someone is nagging at someone else, but they're picking up subconsciously that someone has done something wrong.
• 0:55
  Oh, hold on.
• 0:57
  Wonder who had the guilt?
• 0:59
  It's the person who's projecting it onto you.
• 1:01
  Like we talked about in that quote it's if you're holding too much guilt, you're going to project it onto somebody else.
• 1:09
  It can hinder us or it can help us.
• 1:13
  And one of my most favorite moments from reading the book Reality Transurfing was understanding his meaning of guilt.
• 1:22
  And we're going to talk about that today.
• 1:25
  You're listening to Kathie's coaching podcast.
• 1:28
  I'm your host, Kathie Owen.
• 1:30
  Today, we're talking about guilt from Reality Transurfing and where it comes from, what it means for real and true guilt.
• 1:41
  Yeah.
• 1:41
  It's one of my favorite topics because it came to be an aha moment for myself because I had the burden of guilt.
• 1:51
  From fighting a custody battle that lasted 14 years with a man who had no moral compass.
• 1:59
  He had no ethical background and he was like, Just out for himself and still to this day, 24 years later, he's still doing the same thing to his own children by no means.
• 2:15
  But I was burdened with guilt because I was the mom.
• 2:20
  I was like, why am I letting my children down?
• 2:25
  And to this day, I still can see where I could put guilt on myself, but it's not my fault.
• 2:31
  It is all what's going on out there and in your mind.
• 2:36
  And when you take that power back, it makes a huge difference in everything.
• 2:41
  So before we even get into the meat of the subject, I'm going to read.
• 2:45
  Read some quotes from Reality Transurfing and other books on guilt.
• 2:50
  If you're watching on my YouTube channel, you'll see them on the screen.
• 2:54
  But if you're listening to the podcast, go to the link in the show notes, or even the description below, and you will find a blog post that has all of these quotes in there as well as more insight to what I'm talking about today.
• 3:09
  From Reality Transurfing.
• 3:12
  Quite the opposite position is true of the timid victim, who is uncertain of whether they are behaving correctly or not.
• 3:20
  The victim fears being declared guilty, giving everyone the right to administer punishment.
• 3:27
  Even the faintest, most deeply hidden feeling of guilt can open the gates to punishment in the subconscious mind, a person who feels guilty, theoretically agrees that robbers and bandits have the right to attack them as a form of punishment and so they are afraid." And here is a quote from the healing power of love by Ken Wapnick he's a teacher of a course in miracles.
• 3:58
  If, however you have chosen the ego as your teacher, which means guilt and fear have taken the place of love.
• 4:06
  Anything you say or do will come from guilt and fear.
• 4:10
  If you do not pay attention to the guilt, it will be repressed and whatever is repressed will be projected.
• 4:18
  When guilt is projected, it takes the form of attack either on yourself.
• 4:24
  As in sickness or on someone else in anger.
• 4:29
  No one in his or her right mind would pretend that attack is loving." And then from Dr.
• 4:37
  David Hawkins, who on the levels of consciousness talks about guilt being on the lower levels.
• 4:44
  This was from his book Power vs Force.
• 4:49
  guilt.
• 4:50
  So commonly used in our society to manipulate and punish manifests itself in a variety of expressions, such as remorse self-recrimination masochism and the whole gomlet of symptoms of victim hood.
• 5:05
  Unconscious guilt results in psychosomatic disease accident proneness, and suicidal behaviors.
• 5:14
  Many people struggle with guilt their entire lives while others desperately attempt to escape by a morally denying guilt all together." That is from Power vs.
• 5:26
  Force by Dr.
• 5:27
  David Hawkins.
• 5:29
  And then one of my favorite.
• 5:31
  Very little known books by Matthew David Hertato is Ask Until it is Given.
• 5:37
  And this is what he says about guilt.
• 5:40
  Guilt is the most powerful force working against your inner expression of joy and happiness, whether you are working on better health.
• 5:48
  Better relationships or more prosperity.
• 5:51
  Guilt is the source of harden attitudes towards life." So in Reality Transurfing, we talk about guilt as excess potential.
• 6:02
  And that means that you're gonna be bringing things and that's going to make it worse.
• 6:08
  Like you heard, it's going to result in sickness in accident, proneness, and even in suicidal thoughts because you just beat yourself up with excess potential.
• 6:22
  And that is where guilt is not your friend.
• 6:25
  Let's go into the quote by Shakespeare.
• 6:29
  And I have a real profound insight on this quote.
• 6:32
  And inside this quote, he says, nothing is neither good, nor bad, but thinking makes it so." And I've talked about this quote before on my YouTube channel and my podcast.
• 6:45
  And I had some comments on there.
• 6:47
  Where what about the person that is abusing children?
• 6:53
  What about, um, The murderer or the person that's in prison.
• 7:00
  That is the opposite of what we're talking about here.
• 7:03
  In fact, this quote comes from the play Hamlet and it is a perspective that he is giving to himself where he's realizing, Hey, I've been overthinking this.
• 7:15
  I've been ruminating on this and that guilt is hurting me when it talks about child abuse and it talks about people abusing a system.
• 7:25
  That is not justice.
• 7:27
  If we just go, oh, they're not guilty.
• 7:29
  This is not the same thing.
• 7:32
  Justice needs to be served.
• 7:34
  However, sometimes it takes the effect of letting go of you performing the justice.
• 7:41
  Because if you're thinking that it's all your responsibility to perform the justice on the person who has wronged you, you are actually getting the boomerang effect of guilt.
• 7:53
  For example.
• 7:56
  There were so many times I wanted to fight my ex-husband and really prove to him that he was wrong as far as getting him mentally evaluated through the court systems.
• 8:09
  But what he did was he just fought and fought and he used his money to hire attorneys.
• 8:16
  And then those attorneys would talk to my attorneys.
• 8:19
  And he would get whatever he wanted.
• 8:22
  And he even got it turned down that he was going to get psych evaluated by sending the letter of closing that case to our old home address.
• 8:32
  Yes.
• 8:33
  That's how bad he was.
• 8:35
  And it just happened because he could have told my lawyer, I don't know, this lawyer wasn't really working for me.
• 8:43
  And.
• 8:44
  None of them did as a matter of fact, but if I took the guilt of going, oh my gosh, I couldn't get him psych evaluated.
• 8:51
  This is all my fault.
• 8:53
  That is not my responsibility.
• 8:55
  In fact, when you let go of trying to prove you're right, what happens is corruption just eats itself up.
• 9:04
  I'm watching it 24 years later and corruption is eating itself up.
• 9:10
  I don't want that for him.
• 9:12
  I don't wish that.
• 9:13
  That for him.
• 9:14
  But.
• 9:16
  You know, I've let go of the guilt on myself, which frees my energy for a lot more positive things.
• 9:24
  And therefore I'm not ruminating over how I'm going to get revenge, how I'm going to seek and force him to get.
• 9:34
  Treatment.
• 9:35
  Which it's not going to happen, and that is force.
• 9:38
  So that's why I love the book power versus force.
• 9:41
  And if you look at the levels of consciousness, you will see that guilt is in the force range.
• 9:49
  So when you're trying to force guilt or force justice, it won't work.
• 9:54
  But when you let go and let go of the guilt.
• 9:57
  It helps, but let's talk about how to let go of that as well and why we hold on to it.
• 10:04
  So you heard in those quotes a lot about punishment of guilt.
• 10:09
  There's a lot of punishment involved in guilt, and I take it back to the victim victimizer cycle because when we are in the guilt trap, I like to call it.
• 10:21
  We are stuck in either victim or victimizer, and there is a circle eight at the bottom of that triangle, where we go from victim to victimizer victim to.
• 10:33
  A victimizer Picture any argument you've ever witnessed before, and you will see there's a victim and then a victimizer.
• 10:40
  And once that victim has been picked on enough, it will go into victimizer.
• 10:45
  And that is a never ending cycle until you get out of that punishment phase.
• 10:50
  And I will have a link in the show notes and description below that.
• 10:55
  We'll talk about the victim victimizer cycle, which I talk about a lot, but you to get out of that bottom.
• 11:03
  Circle eight, that never ends.
• 11:06
  You need to get to Victor.
• 11:07
  You need to let go of the guilt.
• 11:10
  But how does one let go of that guilt?
• 11:12
  I mean, really?
• 11:14
  How does one let go of it.
• 11:15
  I can tell you from experience.
• 11:18
  What I have found is that when I stopped trying to force everything like Dr.
• 11:23
  David Hawkins teaches.
• 11:25
  It just worked out.
• 11:29
  And then we have the 10 commandments.
• 11:31
  The 10 commandments in the Bible are just set as recommendations.
• 11:36
  And I'll never forget.
• 11:37
  I read in Dr.
• 11:39
  Wayne Dyer's book, change your thoughts, change your life, where he talked about.
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  If people just had the moral compass of what is right and what is wrong, we wouldn't need laws.
• 11:51
  The 10 commandments in fact are just recommendations on how to behave.
• 11:57
  That is simple.
• 11:59
  But a lot of times what happens is people use the 10 commandments to.
• 12:05
  To force guilt on somebody else to force guilt on themselves.
• 12:10
  When as Vadim says in the book, just apologize once and it's done.
• 12:16
  And be sincere with that apology.
• 12:18
  So what happens is a lot of times we are not sincere with that apology.
• 12:23
  So there are what they consider manipulative dynamics that go on when we are experiencing feelings of guilt.
• 12:32
  I can say this from.
• 12:35
  Having a dog and let's say they pottied on the carpet and they know that that is wrong.
• 12:42
  You know, that expression I'm talking about, they're looking at you like, oh, I didn't mean to do it.
• 12:47
  I'm sorry.
• 12:48
  I knew I'm going to get in trouble.
• 12:50
  That is what happens subconsciously when somebody picks up on you feeling guilty.
• 12:56
  So if you pick up on somebody feeling guilty, you're gonna strike out at them.
• 13:01
  And this happens so unconsciously, it happens when someone is nagging at someone else, but they're picking up subconsciously that someone has done something wrong.
• 13:13
  And so they have that sad dog face that's going on that.
• 13:19
  Instills feelings of manipulative behaviors that happen inside there.
• 13:25
  In Reality Transurfing Vadim talks about letting go of justification.
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  This is one of the ways that you can let go of guilt.
• 13:34
  You don't need to justify yourself.
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  You don't need to explain yourself.
• 13:38
  If you have sincerely apologized to yourself to others, then that manipulative behavior won't come in.
• 13:48
  Let's go back to the sad dog face.
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  The sad dog face hit.
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  He's like, I'm sorry.
• 13:54
  I'm sorry, but he doesn't come back and do it after he's been punished.
• 13:58
  He comes back inside and he's all happy.
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  And everything's fine.
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  So.
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  He's not justifying himself.
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  He's not keeping up that little sad dog face because all that's going to do is perpetuate the punishment.
• 14:13
  Just like we've been talking about.
• 14:16
  Forgiveness is key.
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  And.
• 14:20
  When you forgive.
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  Forgive yourself, forgive others.
• 14:25
  Seeking forgiveness either through the admission of your mistake, prayer or confession.
• 14:32
  I love Ho'oponopono for this reason.
• 14:35
  All it is is a simple forgiveness practice.
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  It's four sentences.
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  I love you.
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  I'm sorry, please forgive me.
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  And thank you.
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  Some people will say that.
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  Why should I say I love you?
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  I'm sorry, please forgive me.
• 14:52
  Why should I say that?
• 14:53
  Why should I say, please forgive me.
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  It doesn't matter if it applies to that instance or that instance, but that forgiveness is a huge release of guilt that is letting it go.
• 15:09
  We are human.
• 15:10
  You're going to make mistakes.
• 15:13
  But it's okay.
• 15:14
  Let go of that guilt or, and it will free up your energy to move up in the levels of consciousness like Dr.
• 15:21
  David Hawkins says.
• 15:23
  And then there is freedom from judgment.
• 15:26
  Let's go back to my custody battle.
• 15:29
  My ex would hire a private investigator to follow me around and I wasn't guilty of anything.
• 15:36
  In fact, my life was so boring.
• 15:40
  He was digging in things 10 years ago, he was having this private investigator, go talk to people about what I was doing back 10 years ago or who I was dating back 10 years ago.
• 15:54
  And it just didn't work.
• 15:56
  In fact, Fact that private investigator talked to one of my friends and they, he said, you know what I'm done, I'm done.
• 16:03
  But let me tell you something that man, that private investigator followed me around for several months and he would have be parked outside my house.
• 16:14
  And I felt like going out there taking him a bottle of water.
• 16:17
  Are you having fun?
• 16:18
  Because I'm a boring person.
• 16:20
  All I do is go to work at the Y go to work at LA fitness, maybe go to one of my friend's houses.
• 16:26
  I was, I am.
• 16:28
  Not an exciting person to follow.
• 16:31
  I'm just saying.
• 16:33
  I love my life and I don't have anything to justify for.
• 16:37
  So I didn't have guilt.
• 16:42
  Oh, hold on.
• 16:43
  Wonder who had the guilt?
• 16:45
  It's the person who's projecting it onto you.
• 16:47
  Like we talked about in that quote it's if you're holding too much guilt, you're going to project it onto somebody else.
• 16:55
  And if you look up projection, the definition of projection in the psychological dictionary, you will find my ex-husband's picture.
• 17:04
  I I'm.
• 17:04
  I'm sorry.
• 17:05
  I'm not saying that to be ugly, but it's so true.
• 17:08
  He would accuse me of all these crazy things and I'm like, I'm not doing that.
• 17:15
  Projection is just that.
• 17:18
  For example, let's say I'm wearing a yellow shirt and I'm talking to you and I have a Navy blue shirt on and you'd go, oh my God, Kathie that yellow shirt looks terrible on you.
• 17:29
  But that person is talking to me is wearing a yellow shirt.
• 17:33
  That is projection.
• 17:35
  That's an obvious level of projection, but when somebody is accusing you of a behavior that you know, you're not doing.
• 17:44
  Hm.
• 17:44
  Most likely it's that person that's doing it.
• 17:48
  And that's how I started to just let go of the guilt because I was like, holy crap.
• 17:54
  If I want to know what he's doing, just watch what he's accusing me of.
• 17:58
  And then I know what he's up to.
• 18:00
  And it's just funny because to this day he still does the same thing.
• 18:05
  So I'm going to give you three recommendations that you can take with you today to explain guilt.
• 18:14
  Number one release release the guilt.
• 18:18
  Recognize the guilt as excess potential.
• 18:21
  That is.
• 18:22
  Draining your energy when you let go of it and you apologize.
• 18:27
  Sincerely.
• 18:28
  It takes, it gives that energy back to you and doesn't release that excess potential.
• 18:36
  Number two, protect your energy.
• 18:38
  When you release that guilt, you protect that energy for other resources.
• 18:43
  You don't give anybody a chance to manipulate you.
• 18:47
  A chance to hurt you.
• 18:49
  A chance to come at you with crazy accusations.
• 18:53
  When you let go of that guilt and you protect your energy.
• 18:57
  Refuse to take on feelings of guilt.
• 19:00
  As they make you vulnerable to manipulation.
• 19:03
  As we've seen throughout this video, talked about.
• 19:07
  And embraced forgiveness.
• 19:09
  "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." When I first heard that quote was an, the book change, your thoughts, change your life.
• 19:21
  By Dr.
• 19:22
  Wayne Dyer and.
• 19:25
  That made me see.
• 19:26
  Oh, okay.
• 19:27
  There is something good that comes out of something bad and that is forgiveness.
• 19:33
  And when you forgive and you let go of resentment, you let go of hatred.
• 19:39
  That is not our true state of being our true state of being is love happiness, peace, bliss, fulfillment.
• 19:48
  And when you let go of guilt, you have that.
• 19:52
  That power.
• 19:53
  It brings it back.
• 19:55
  You keep your mind on the things that are right.
• 19:58
  True and pure.
• 20:00
  That is Philippians four eight.
• 20:02
  My favorite scripture of all.
• 20:05
  All right.
• 20:05
  That's my episode for today.
• 20:07
  I trust that you found it helpful.
• 20:09
  If you know somebody who can benefit from this, please share it with them.
• 20:12
  And until next time I will see you next time, peace out and Namaste.
• 20:18
  Bing!.