Latest / Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast / Dear Megan Deep Dive!

Transcript

Dear Megan Deep Dive! · Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: With the John and Ben podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Cheers to Dilma making the world a better tea.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: Over to you, Meghan. Someone that some filthy animal has
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: been sliding, slippering and sliding into your DMS again.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: So, Dear Meghan, is a segment we do where you
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: can come to us with any issue you want us
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: to put to the listeners were we'll all judge you.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: Not legal issues, though we don't just that we we
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: had no expertise in that field.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: You can slide into my DMS or the Hits Breakfast dms.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: This is one I'm keen to hear everyone's thoughts on.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Hey guys, could I put this story to your listeners
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: for a Dear Meghan, Yes you can. My friend of
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: about fifteen years has revealed to me that she's seeing
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: my dad. She's come to me now, I guess asking
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: for permission now that it's getting semi serious. First of all,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: it was a major shock. I had no idea, and
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: to be honest, I feel a little bit betrayed. I
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: don't like the idea of them being together, and I
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: definitely don't want to see any PDA from them. What
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: am I supposed to do? Of course, I want my
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: friend and my dad to be happy, and I wish
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: I could be cool with it, but I'm just so not.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: What do you and your listeners think I should do?
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Spices? Wow, So she's being asked for her blessings, so
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: she can't. She is the option to say no, I'm
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: not happy with this a new friend was, or she's
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: just feeling like about it it.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Seys she sees. I guess they're asking for my permission.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: They have been seeing each other, it's just now that's
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: getting serious.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: But they're both willing to pull out if it's not
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: a Koshia with her.
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: Maybe they're just hoping that it's going to be Kocier
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: with her. Now I'm guessing age wise, what are we
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: what are we thinking for?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Well, we don't have ages, but like it's her dad,
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: so these an age get there.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: Not that that matters, but I think with the relationship,
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: what'd be guessing that they've been friends for fifteen years?
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, so maybe thirty.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: That one because yeah, okay, so thirty dad, maybe in
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: this fifties?
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, Well good on it for politely asking her friend.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I mean I've been I know when I asked you
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: if I could date Jenny Boyce, your mother. You had
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: an issue with it, and so did my warm turns
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: out and you said no, and I accepted that.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: But good on it.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: I guess acknowledging it is that would have been award
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: for the friend to have to come to her and
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: even have that conversation.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she's known her, like she's they've been from for
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: fifteen years, so she's known her dad for a long time. Yeah,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: when did the dad meet her?
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: But they are all adults and they're all now. Yeah, well, yeah,
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: it's an awkward one. But then if it's I guess
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: some people are going to be cool with that and
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: other people might be.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: A bit like I get what she's saying. She's like,
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: I want to be happy. You want your friend and
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: your dad to find love and be happy, but they
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: have to be with each other.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: I assume the dad has been so solo ranger for
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: a while. There's no mum in the picture. Okay, the
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: only sensible thing to do was for her to go
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: and sleep with her friends dead now, eye for an eye,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: father for a father, All said and done, What would
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: you do in this situation? Your best friends come to
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: you and said, hey, I've been dating, your dad would
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: love your blessings, your.
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: Parents are separated for some time?
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: No you.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Nah, I'm not.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: Cay initially, but you go six months, you know, when
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: you start a new job or you started a new company,
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: and you're like worried to begin with and then within
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: a fortnight it's just the norm.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I agree, Like are they coming to Christmas? And like
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: is she sitting on his lap?
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: And okay, all right?
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: The hits that JOHNA and Ben podcast in the middle of.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: Today is dem Meghan our DM today that someone's lead
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: into your DMS? Meghan?
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So this is I guess a young woman where
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: she don't have a lot of details, which you can
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: probably understand why when I tell you it's her friend
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: getting together with her dad that been friends for about
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: fifteen years, and she's not okay with it. They've been
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: seeing each other for a little bit and now they're
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: kind of asking for permission. I guess now that it's
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: getting semi serious.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: I don't think any want to be completely okay with it, right,
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: But then it does time normalize things? That's my question.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: I mean, initially, no one's good, No one's going to
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: be cool with that. No, the good thing is your
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: best friend will be your stepmother. The bad thing is
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: your best friend's bumping ugly's with your dad.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Okay, it grossed out on behalf.
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: Lots of messages on our Facebook page, Megan, and some
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: polarizing opinions.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Sometimes yeah, so Parnier has said, that's a hard one.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: The fact that it's your friend and your dad. They
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: both didn't tell your tool now, but being an adult
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: about it and not making it more than it is,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I'd find out if they really do have a connection,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: if they want to be together. Sometimes in life you
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: can't help who you fall in love with. That's true,
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: It is true. Sorry, Sorry, Becky's polar opposite, She said, sorry,
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: that's pretty crap on your dad's part. Never mind your mate.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I'd be pissed. How much time have they been spending
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: together behind your back? If they've been lying to you?
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: How serious is it? So many questions she's not okay.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: With So someone was okay with it, Paddy, it was okay, honey,
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: was okay, okay.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, But the whole time you're thinking, how long have
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: you thought my dad was hopeful? I know you've got
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: a lot of questions. You go, you travel back through time,
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: don't you. We're going to get Tully on the phone. Welcome,
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: How are you Tully?
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: How are you good?
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: Thank you?
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: Okay, I'm morning.
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: Everyone wanting have you on this morning?
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Tully. What's your thoughts on this sticky situation?
• 5:26
  Speaker 6: My thing is, I just believe love has no boundaries.
• 5:29
  Speaker 6: I mean, look at how many of us, we'll say,
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: are lucky to even find love if it is love,
• 5:35
  Speaker 6: you know, and it's not just some kind of game
• 5:37
  Speaker 6: that they're playing or to kick off the daughter or whatever.
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: But it sounds a little much more serious than that.
• 5:44
  Speaker 6: And look at how many of us we don't care
• 5:46
  Speaker 6: about the age gap. I mean, what is an age gap?
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: But it's nothing, Well it's sixteen. There's a law that
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: sort of sees loved us a boundaries sixteen on.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Well, you're right in this situation, they're all adults. You
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: sound like they're in their futies in the fifties.
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I mean, like I think the issue is
• 6:03
  Speaker 6: when she was growing up, that's with her dad, and
• 6:06
  Speaker 6: now she's going to kind of get out of that
• 6:08
  Speaker 6: and think about, yes, that is my dad. When I'm
• 6:12
  Speaker 6: not a little girl anymore, I can think outside the
• 6:14
  Speaker 6: square now and I can just let my dad be
• 6:19
  Speaker 6: happy for once. You know, there's nothing seeing your parents
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: sufferre or vice versa seeing their children's suffer. You know,
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: it's been.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Happy on top of her best friends stop.
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: You know with the images you just said before that
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: everyone know how to be cool with that. Well, we've
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: got a couple people, very very adult of.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: You doally appreciate that, Sandy. What do you think you
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: want to chime in? Sandy? Oh, hi, lovely to have
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: you on your commute to work this morning. What do
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: you think is it okay for your best friend to
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: date your dad?
• 6:53
  Speaker 7: No, I think it's weird.
• 6:55
  Speaker 8: I thank you as they got married.
• 6:58
  Speaker 9: Then you're best friend of your stepmom and also you've.
• 7:02
  Speaker 7: Got to think about your mom's feelings as well.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Thought about that, you're right, another person here, yeah, yeah, yeah, no,
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: that's a good point. Were infected in a mum or
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: where she is in the equation.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: So that's that's wrap things up, Megan. We'll like to
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: give a final bit of advice from all our pieces
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: of advice.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: I mean the immature child and me says, oh gross,
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: that's my dad. And again she's going to be you know,
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: potentially step mum, and you can't tell me what to do.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: But I also think everyone deserves happiness and maybe it
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: won't work out. Maybe you can let your dad be
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: happy for now, have a conversation about your boundaries. I
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: don't want to see you doing stuff in front of me,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: and maybe you can, like you say, John O, normalize
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: it after a week.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Whiles that jonaan Ben podcast Right, we have.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: Someone who slid into my DMS with a Dear Meghan,
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: you can do that too. If you've got a relationship
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: as you doesn't even have to be relationships. Any kind
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: of issue that you want to.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Medical issues and I send your photos away from Okay.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Please don't don't.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Just want to know the boundaries, but if you want.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Some external assistance, I mean, the country's going to weigh in,
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: so you never know what you're going to get. But
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: this is a message we've got today. Hi Megan, John
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Oan Ben, I have a DM me again. Please keep
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: me anonymous. We always do. I've been married to my
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: husband for fifteen years now and everything is fine. We
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: are each other's best friend and I couldn't imagine life
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: without him. However, lately, I've been noticing every time we
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: get intimate. He quickly gets up to make sure the
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: lights are turned off. It's even gotten to the point
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: now that if I'm getting changed out of my clothes
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: into my pajamas, he'll either step out of the room
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: or tell me to go to the bathroom to get changed.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm overthinking things, but it's starting
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: to make me really upset. I'm beginning to feel quite
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: anxious about my parents. Do I bring this up with him?
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: How do I even confront him about it?
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: So s splicy.
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: That is at the end of the b Oh maybe
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: you could justify until the through him going to the
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: bathroom get changed.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: Maybe he's just power conscious. Power's expensive electricity bills. Turn
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: the lights off.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just trying to think of all maybe his
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: neighbors that have been around the area peeping in windows.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: She should turn the lights off in case there.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I just when she sees everything is fine, I'm like,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: well no, but I'm like, maybe it must be like you.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: There's no indication anywhere else that you guys aren't.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: Okay, call me crazy. She's connecting dots here, Yeah, spiraling
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: out of control in her head. How about just going
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: to ask him. Yeah, you know, so, hey, mate, what's
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: the issue with the lights? Why don't you want to
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: see my beats?
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: There's the thing like in my relationship, I always catastrophized.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: You go to the worst possible scenario and you're like,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh. He thinks that's especially if it's happening
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: over and over, like he's turning the lights off. But
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: could it be that he's self conscious?
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: Maybe well, yeah, you're right, and he's.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Trying to turn the lights off, and he's like, maybe
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: I've got a dad bot or something and I'm feeling
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: self conscious.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: It's very if he's anything like me. Every time I
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: steer in the bathroom mirror, a single tear drips down
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: my cheek. So he might not be happy with his body.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right, Okay, so yeah, well that's this. Did
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: some help from the family right now, very very helpful
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: in these situations.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: Are you lights on or lights off? Is that too personal?
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: Very it's a person.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: Always produce Taylor thumbs up and thumbs down. She's like,
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: I'm not answered thumbs ups on lights on?
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: The hits that johonaan Ben podcast Dear Me.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Again, someone slid into my DMS. This is really nice
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: that people trust us with these very personal topics, especially today.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: These people have been married for fifteen years. She sees
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: everything is fine where best friends, but lately she's been
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: noticing that every time they get intimate, he gets up
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: to turn the lights off and asks her to go
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: into the bathroom when she's getting chain.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: He's putting their love making on Stevie wonder mode. Now,
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: I guess is another thing. Maybe when the lights are on,
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: if you're looking around the bedroom, you can see all
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: the chores that need to be done. You know, it
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: can get distracted.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Do you think he's thinking about that and.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Trying to come up with an excuse? No, yeah, I'm reaching.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, there's some clothes it needs to be
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: folded over there, you know, stuff like that. Because the
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: clincher is he's making a go to the bathroom. So
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: it's not hone. I still think.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: How many times did that happen? Was it once or twice?
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: And was it for another reason?
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's the thing.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: He's laying out rose petals on the bead or something.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: Not a nice situation for her, especially with her, you
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: know what it's doing to her mind, obviously thinking about
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: it once.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So people are saying, look, how long has
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: this been happening? Is it a new thing? It sounds
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: as though he's just started doing it, even though they've
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: been married fifteen years. Tell the hobby to do the same,
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: and then ask him what his problem is. Yeah, I
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: wonder what would happen if she was like, no, go,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: get changed in the bathroom.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: Reversing it, getting a dinner, turning down the light like
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: five am mode or something. Yeah, let's get clear on
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: what do you want to say? What do you want
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: to say? To our listeners, they're clear.
• 12:11
  Speaker 10: Well, yeah, if I text an, I've been with my
• 12:13
  Speaker 10: partners for eight years and I've never seen him naked,
• 12:17
  Speaker 10: apart from when he's walking around house drunk, and that's
• 12:20
  Speaker 10: maybe been twice this whole time. But it's mainly because
• 12:24
  Speaker 10: he's self conscious. There's absolutely nothing wrong with his body
• 12:28
  Speaker 10: at all, but he's just that self conscious that even
• 12:32
  Speaker 10: during broad daylight, even at nighttime, he will prefer to
• 12:35
  Speaker 10: be alone. And so I've I've never had a problem
• 12:39
  Speaker 10: with my body, but the longer I've been with him,
• 12:42
  Speaker 10: I'm now I'm not self conscious. But because I respect
• 12:45
  Speaker 10: his privacy. He respects mine as well, so he doesn't
• 12:49
  Speaker 10: walk in when I'm in the bathroom or if I'm
• 12:51
  Speaker 10: getting dressed, he'll get, you know, walk out. But also
• 12:55
  Speaker 10: we have children, and at the moment we have a
• 12:56
  Speaker 10: nine months old, so we have the monitor on, so
• 12:59
  Speaker 10: when we are being intimate, I feel like I'm being watched,
• 13:02
  Speaker 10: even though drop that down or our cats slips in
• 13:07
  Speaker 10: their room. So sometimes, yeah, weird.
• 13:13
  Speaker 9: But yeah, whether it is a new thing that is
• 13:16
  Speaker 9: very odd.
• 13:18
  Speaker 10: Maybe maybe he hadn't got a cat.
• 13:19
  Speaker 11: I don't know.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, thank you being so open you she had
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: wonderful sharing their clar I feel like a teacher at
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: primary school called sharing clear. And yes, it is weird
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: of a cat steering you in the eyeballs when you're
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: doing that.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so well, thank you.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: That's that's clear's thoughts on it. We've got sues on
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: the phone. What do you want to say?
• 13:39
  Speaker 9: Well, I was just thinking Meagan said that she thought
• 13:42
  Speaker 9: it could be him being self conscious with his body.
• 13:46
  Speaker 9: But honestly, the fact that he's asking her to move
• 13:49
  Speaker 9: into the bathroom when she's getting changed does sound like
• 13:52
  Speaker 9: it's a hymn problem. But it also sounds it sounds
• 13:55
  Speaker 9: like it's a hymn problem that she should approach him about.
• 13:57
  Speaker 9: I feel like it's something they definitely should discuss because
• 14:00
  Speaker 9: otherwise she's just gonna it's going to be a stand.
• 14:02
  Speaker 9: She's going to think more and more into it, and
• 14:04
  Speaker 9: it's going to get worse and worse for her in
• 14:06
  Speaker 9: her head.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I like, I just I'm hoping that she
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: is going to the worst case scenario. I'm kind of
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: hoping there's another reason why he's asking her to go,
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: and like, how many times did it happen? Did it
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: happened once? And maybe he was like, I don't want
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: the light on. I'm trying to do something. You know,
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: I have another reason for doubt because that would be
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: horrible if he was actually doing that.
• 14:26
  Speaker 9: Yeah, no, I agree, So let's all hope for the best.
• 14:30
  Speaker 9: But I definitely think it's something that she needs to
• 14:32
  Speaker 9: discuss with him.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: Wonderful call, SUSI well spoken. Now the Johnny Price side pole,
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: lights on, lights off?
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: She don't have to.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Answer lights on?
• 14:40
  Speaker 12: Okay?
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, good, okay, Well the lights on the case seventy
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: percent on leading the pole at the moment.
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: Keep that rolling on.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: Rolling coverage so what would you say?
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, on Facebook, a lot of correspondence coming through, and
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: I guess the probably the message that's coming through most
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: of everyone feeling for this particular person, but most people
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: saying no point overthinking at co talk to her. Talk
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: to That seems to be the main thing that everyone's saying.
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: Because you don't know until you're backsit.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: You had that conversation, you can catastrophize it in your head.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: It might be something really innocent. And if it's not,
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: you need to address it anyway because you're just gonna
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: it's gonna affect your mental health.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: They call them having courageous conversations when you're climbing up
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: the corporate letter in middle management, have a courageous conversation.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: That's what they're seeing an adult though, exactly.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: Tones And if people want a message Meghan DM dear Megan,
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: you can do.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: So Meghanloy's papers on Instagram.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: What did check your middle name in the Megan papers?
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Wasn't a bake the heads that jonaan Ben podcast.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: Someone slid into your dems again, Megan. And this is
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: a tricky one because you hand it over to you.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: All right, Well, I'll read it out and then we
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: can discuss This is the Dear Megan hire John Oban
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: and Meghan, I have an issue for your Dear Megan segment.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: I am the cool auntie and my nephew often comes
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: to me with stuff in his life that he often
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: doesn't tell his parents. And he has told me that
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: he has Instagram and his parents don't know. He's only eleven,
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: so he's not really supposed to have it, and his
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: parents are against him having social media until he's older.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: His account is private and he only has one or
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: two posts, he says, he just uses it to follow
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: other people. Mostly. Now I know this information, what do
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: I do? Do I betray his trust because I feel
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: like it will be obvious that I told his parents,
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: but also I feel like his parents would want to
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: know he help.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: Please, well tough you do? You want to hold your
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: street cred and your mantle is the cool auntie, don't you?
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah? But then you're right. They're going to be like
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: if they find out, they're like, you knew you'd be like, yeah.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: No, but just go what No, But just to the
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: first I've heard of it, Sure.
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: The kid would probably say something I'm told such and such.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: Give it a yeah, yeah, you don't want to lose
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: your street cred. It's not often as an adult you
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: get cool cool or thought of as cool. So the
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: longer you can hold onto that all funny, it's not
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: your place to dive in. They'll find out at some
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: point then they can deal with the parents.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: But also your are you kind of like setting yourself
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: up as the confident on in that area so you
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: can keep tabs on it a little bit? You know,
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: you can give them, But then would the parents want
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: you to be parenting in their way because it's not
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: your kid?
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Oh so you're saying you take the responsible role here.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: If you have any issues with social media, come and
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: chat to me about it, like you know.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: Or you set up a fake Instagram account and then
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: tag his mum and on and loop them together and
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: then you've done nothing, like that's a third party that
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: no one knows.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because do you think in reality, like if you
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: say you told the parents, and then the parents like
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: you can't have it, shut it down. He's gonna do
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: it anyway, and then he's not going to tell you
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: all the parents.
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: And it's I mean, in the grand scheme of things,
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: it's not as bad as a lot of other things
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: that could be doing. It's not like he's ram rating
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: or vaping or you know, like something like that. And
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: when those instance, you're probably like, Okay, yeah, maybe I
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: would definitely trade the kids trust.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and tell you when it comes to ray.
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: One hundred bucks from a dairy or something.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: Actually, okay, I mean one minute you're setting up sneaky
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: industry accounts, next minute you're human trafficking in Eastern Russia.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: That's what I've always said. It's a gateway, isn't it.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: So this is what we want to check over. And
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: knowing how the hits, what do you do? What does
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: this person do? Do they alert the parents, betray the trust,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: or set up for fake Instagram account.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: Maybe you've had this situation happened to you. Maybe you've
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: had someone come to you and told you one thing
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: like this and you've gone, I've got to tell apparents.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: Or you've kept a secret, Megan, you're a secret keeper.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: I am very loyal at keeping secrets.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which is why this one. I don't know what
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: I would do. I feel like I don't know.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: You're quite you are very loyal on the secret game, So.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: You I feel like I would keep the secret. I
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: feel like I would keep the secret.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: So leave it to them.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and just be like, hey, come to me, Just
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: come to me if you need me.
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: You know, then the parents are gonna be plea more.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Was it the parents perheads that johnaan Ben podcast.
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: In the middle of today's de Meghan Meghan, someone has
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: slid into Meghan's DMS with a very very interesting dilemma
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: this morning, Meghan.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: So they are the cool Auntie. Their nephew has told
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: them they're eleven years old, that they have Instagram and
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: they're not supposed to do. Their parents wouldn't be down
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: for it. So now the aunties like, do I betray
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: his trust and tell the parents or do I keep
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: his confidence and keep his secret and maybe just monitor
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: him Being the call Auntie?
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: Does she relinquish her title? Is the call Auntie? Or
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: now become the knacking Auntie? Those are the two options available.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: A whole bunch of texts on this thank you for
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: all your texts and advice. On four four eighty seven,
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: someone suggesting quietly tell the parents check the kid's phone,
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: maybe leave the kids Instagram account open on the phone
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: and do it subtly yeah, that's that's a good one.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Worst things he could be doing reads This is another
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: text So I was searching up big boobies on the
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: internet when I was eleven, So thank you for the
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: device there. And also don't tell the parents. As an
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: adult he needs he needs to trust an adult. Every
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: child needs to trust an adult.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I know, I'm so torn.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: Another text saying blackmail the kid Jackie will get on
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: from Hamilton wants your advice for this, Lady Jackie, what's
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: your advice?
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Mate?
• 20:32
  Speaker 13: I think that she should say to a child that
• 20:36
  Speaker 13: they need to decide whether they're going to tell the
• 20:38
  Speaker 13: parents about the Instagram or just get rid of it,
• 20:41
  Speaker 13: because I think she needs to help them maintain a
• 20:44
  Speaker 13: good relationship with his parents, and if she betrays her
• 20:47
  Speaker 13: more them, then he's not going to trust anyone and
• 20:49
  Speaker 13: they won't hear about things that happen. So I think
• 20:52
  Speaker 13: you just put it back on home and say, come on, mate,
• 20:55
  Speaker 13: what do you think You know? Your mum and dad
• 20:57
  Speaker 13: don't want you to have it, So I'm going to
• 20:59
  Speaker 13: put that on you to tell them or you take
• 21:01
  Speaker 13: it off. I don't think it's your place to get
• 21:05
  Speaker 13: between the parents. You know what, I mean, I'm very
• 21:08
  Speaker 13: happy with my sister if she didn't quietly say to me,
• 21:11
  Speaker 13: look about but yeah, and then I'd tay to here, Yeah,
• 21:14
  Speaker 13: well I don't like it.
• 21:15
  Speaker 14: So you're telling.
• 21:15
  Speaker 13: Them, oh no, but I don't think that's a good
• 21:20
  Speaker 13: way to have a relationship with them.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: No, good on you, Jackie, thank you, Russell, Rusty, you're
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: chiming and what do you want to say about this?
• 21:29
  Speaker 15: That's a tough spot. But if it was me, I
• 21:31
  Speaker 15: think i'd I think i'd tell the kid to get
• 21:34
  Speaker 15: rid of the Instagram account. Otherwise I'll tell their parents.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, the ultimatum.
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: It's not a bad way of thing, because then you
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: haven't betrayed their trust.
• 21:45
  Speaker 15: Exactly, and they've got an opportunity to maintain your trust,
• 21:49
  Speaker 15: and and you maintain your cool status. But they know
• 21:53
  Speaker 15: they're not supposed to have it, so they might just go,
• 21:57
  Speaker 15: oh yeah, I'd rather just get rid of it than
• 21:59
  Speaker 15: than then her tell my parents or something that I.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: Feel like you're gonna you're going to lose your cool
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: status by telling them to get rid of it.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: But then you start vaping in front of them, and
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: you and you regain your If you thought about vaping,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: you see.
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: I don't mind that idea though. That's that's kind of
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: keeping everyone kind of on your side in a way.
• 22:23
  Speaker 15: Yeah, it is that with an opportunity to I think
• 22:26
  Speaker 15: both the other options that are lose lose. I think
• 22:28
  Speaker 15: this is the only kind of the stalemate, the middle
• 22:31
  Speaker 15: ground that might work.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: Your thoughtful thoughtful individual may appreciate your sharing this morning.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: You don't have a wonderful day. Okay, okay, love your work, trash,
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: let's get into it, tresh, roll your sleeves up. What
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: do you what advice have you got?
• 22:45
  Speaker 14: She should keep it secret, but she should talk the
• 22:47
  Speaker 14: boy into telling the parents.
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: Ah, so she's not actually the one to go break his.
• 22:53
  Speaker 14: Trust, No, because she she may need to have trust
• 22:59
  Speaker 14: from him. It's some stage of his life, and if
• 23:02
  Speaker 14: she breaks it, he's got nobody. Yeah, gently lead him
• 23:07
  Speaker 14: into telling his.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: Parents or the you tell your parents or I will
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: that got played on me and whit calls by an
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: undercover shopp or when I shoplifted ay Playboy magazine at
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: age twelve.
• 23:18
  Speaker 14: Yeah, but you know what, you don't need to rely
• 23:21
  Speaker 14: on her later on in life.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: Right, No, but she never told my parents and I
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: she played you well and there was the lesson that
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: I learned that day.
• 23:29
  Speaker 14: Honesty is the best policy at some stage, and an
• 23:33
  Speaker 14: eleven year old needs to have that honesty with the parents.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: Well, thank you so much for your cause and texts
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: this morning to summarize. So what do you think is
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: the best advice yet, Meghan.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Well, someone texted and see the way kids think nowadays.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: If you don't keep the secret, the trust is lost
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: and kids have a very stubborn attitude these days. I
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: kind of agree, So I'm going to go with trash
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: and say keep the secret, but you know, encourage him
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: to tell his parents.
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: Okay, Well, think we're appreciate everyone's calls and great talk,
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: great calls, great texts.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: The hits that johnaan Ben podcast.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: Megan, people slide into your dms, don't they meet with
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: a question here that we put out to the listeners.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: It's pretty brave, really, but it is anonymous. So if
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: you have a DM, you can slide into mine or
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Hits Breakfast dms and we will put your conundrum out
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: to the listeners today though this is our dear Megan. Hey, guys,
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: what do you do if someone wants to be reinvited
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: to your wedding after they've rsvp' no. Here's the deal.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: We have a.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Couple who have been We've been friends with for a while,
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: but they are notorious for breaking up. We were friends
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: with the girl first, so I feel like that's where
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: our loyalty lies. So when they broke up, she RSVPs
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: yes and he asks RSVP no. Obviously. Now fast forward
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: to a couple of weeks until the wedding and they've
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: gotten back together and she wants to bring him. I'm
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: well down the line of organizing everything, table settings and
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: everything into Be honest, I can't be sure they won't
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: break up again before the wedding. What do I do?
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I want to say no to my friend, but how
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: and am I mean for doing so? Keen to hear whatever?
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: One thing?
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: Oh so they wanting to reinvite, you could punish them
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: sitting with the kid's table or something. Here's a controversial opinion,
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: and this is surrounding wedding days. Is I believe some
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: brides and grooms are just ready to kick off and
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: just waiting for something to kick off at.
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: You know, because you're a stressful thing for some.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: Of your special day is your special day, and so
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: you just feel like any slight inconvenience you have the
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: right to just fire up at and cause a scene
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: over it.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: It's so stressful and there's so many one other.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: Person check them on a table with every other person
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: is a cost, won't say that. So you can come,
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: but it's gonna cost you one hundred and fifty dollars
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: or whatever because that's the cost of the whatever.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: But she's probably already done, like you know how you
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: do the favors. Some people get things printed, like, I.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: Mean, she's half of people at our wedding. We don't.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: We don't keep in touch with nowadays exactly What does
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: it matter. They're just a snapshot of time for people
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: who are in your life at that moment.
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: Don't have them all right, So andrew the hats fourth freights.
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: Even watching you, maybe you've had the same situation. Happened
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: to you with your wedding.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: I've had two, and the first one it was like.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: We worked on the relationships, all right, That's when they
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: lasted me. Didn't just throw it in sim of marriage.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: The first one, you listen to everything, you do what
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: everyone else wants. Everyone is that what you did? Okay?
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Sure? The heads that johnaan Ben podcast.
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: Right now, we're in the middle of this mean Today's
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: dem Megan. Someone has slid into Meghan's d MS with
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: a bit of a dilemma that we put to you
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: on Andrew the Hats.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: They're getting married in two weeks and they have a
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: couple of friends that break up, makeup, break up, makeup.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: So he r SVP no because they've broken up, can you.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: Just deliver deliver this in a bit more of a
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: neutral time.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: They've gotten back together and now he wants to come
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: to the wedding, but it's two weeks away.
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: And she'sstress it's not your wedding to organized.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: I've had too, and I was like, I feel traumatized.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: I'm triggering my eyes to it.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: Would you do this to someone, to one of your
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: friends with her having a winning No, I wouldn't do.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: You know what, when it comes to weddings, whatever they
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: say goes. I'm just like cool, cool, no, kids, cool,
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: it's your it's your choice. You're spending so much money
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: on that day and you want it to be the
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: way you want it. That's cool.
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: Probably depend the way you ask, though you could say, hey,
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: I know we are SVP no. But if anyone doesn't
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: come through, is it possible to you know, I'd like
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: to come now, would that be okay to ask and
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: say behave?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: Have they filled the slot? Has someone else come off
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: the roster? And then they put that in because that
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: person's going to be like, oh.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Cool, imagine so yeah, yeah, that it wasn't.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: In the type group.
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: It happens, though, I've been like that, that's fine. I don't
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: think if you should feel about that, because I know,
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: you know, you can't invite everyone you want to invite
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: to the wedding. So if you're in the next lot,
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: you're in the next lot.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Part of you in the back of your mind there's
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: bitter people that wanted here that weren't.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Without going on and on about having two winnings, but
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: I've had two winnings. First one, I had like one
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: hundred people. Second one, we had forty six and it
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: was way better.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, would we be invited to your third?
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Maybe maybe less less?
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: All right, let's get to the calls and see what Yeah,
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: we should pass on through this them.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: What would your advice be?
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: Yess yess.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're here, man, you just started talking. That would
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: be bloody great radio.
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: What do you reckon?
• 28:43
  Speaker 16: I reckon it's really that important to them that they
• 28:47
  Speaker 16: asked her to pay for him, because that was our
• 28:50
  Speaker 16: wedding and someone that had a new boy friend, and
• 28:54
  Speaker 16: they were more than happy to pay for him, and
• 28:56
  Speaker 16: it just took that bit of pressure off of us.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: Oh so to find the finance burden you think that's
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: the problem.
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: Could be quite expensive, but it does alleviate that. Right,
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: that's a good suggestion. I think I said something similar
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: before Megan shot me down.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Anyway, more to do with like table settings. Those are
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: hard to do, making sure no one's gonna you know, haven't.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: Been on the way Jesus here been here trying to
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: solve problems. Make you're throwing more spinners in the money.
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: I'm like your suggestions, all right, they's saying another one.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: Just sound a better coming out of Jesus mouth. Yeah,
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: we'll go wait a hundred the hits. We should go
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: to Sue. We'll go live to Sue. Thanks, Sue, chime
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: on in? What are they doing? Can they let this
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: person bring their partner?
• 29:36
  Speaker 14: Good morning?
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: Yes, Sue take it away?
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, I feel like Sue.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: We've caught you at a week moment when you weren't
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: phoning up about this topic.
• 29:49
  Speaker 17: Oh no, I've brung the wrong number, did you?
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: So this gets super breakdown what she thinks? Just just
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: have a guess off the to of your head. What
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: do you think? I'm not even sure that's the winning
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: based on everything you know? Hung up?
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: She had enough of your life bullying.
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: I'm just curious to know what she'd come through.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: Here's a great he's a great sedition for friends. Invite
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: him to the the after party.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: That's a good idea. I mean, that's fine if he's
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: okay with it. People get a bit funny when they
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: only get invited to I don't know.
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: All right, rap it up, wrap it up? What do
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: you want to say?
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: I think by emailing us, I think she already knows
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: what she wants to do, and when it comes to winning,
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: I think you should do what feels right to you.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: So it sounds like you don't want to invite.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Them the heads that johnaan Ben podcast.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Megan, all right, this is the message that someone slid
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: into my DMS with. If you've got something you'd like
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: us to put to the people, feel free to do
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: the same. We can keep it anonymous.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: We are slides into your DMS.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Well we say this all the time, but it's just
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: like girls having bands. Someone asked me where my skirt
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: was from the other day.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's not really good radio content you put. You
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: definitely put the best of the options.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: All right, here we go, Dear me, Agan, this is
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: quite a heavy one. Sorry, but I'm really struggling with
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: what to do here?
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: Where was your skirt from?
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: You're gonna feel bad when I read this. My brother
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: passed away at the start of the year.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: Oh God, what do you have to do that?
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was helping out his wife with clearing
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: up his admin. I went on his laptop going through
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: emails to clear up bill payments, et cetera. When I
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: discovered that he had emails from another woman. Without going
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: into too much information, it became clear he had been
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: having an affair for quite some time. He has been
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: married to his wife for six years. They have a
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: child together, and she is like my best friend. But
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: needless to say, she has no idea. What do I
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: do now? Do I tell her and blow up her world?
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Or do I keep his dirty little secret and torment myself?
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Because right now it's all I can think about when.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: I'm with her, Oh god, I look like a monster.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: First and foremost we'll get out of the way. But secondly,
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: just don't say anything. That's my first in sync what
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: he's got. There's nothing he can do to repair it
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: or explain it, or.
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: It's just going to it will tarnish the memory.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: You're checking in a grenade into her memory. Yeah, but
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: make a question everything. So when I think of it
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: as like a friend, I'm like, well, don't tell her
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: right then, When I if I'm her and I think.
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: About it, would you want to know?
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: I kind of think I would want to know.
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: That's tough. That's why. That's why I saw this on
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: the end the other day, and I think it's great.
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: Just bury me with my phone and laptop.
• 32:38
  Speaker 15: Yeah.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Please, you were saying yesterday your phone knows you better
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: than anyone.
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: There inside me.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: No, you have your clearing history friend right when.
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: You die, trust that person at all.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Bury me with.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: Releasing all the fun video.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: I'll do it.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: I'll clear it for you. I trust you.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: So she can tase for for eight seven What would
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: you do in this situation? What advice can you pass?
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: She says that at the end It's hard because now
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: she every time she's with her and every time she
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: hears stories about her talking about her husband and stuff,
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: She's sitting there with that knowledge, the.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: Guilt of well, she can just hold on to it
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: when she sees him in the afterlife or whatever universe
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: we go into when we pass Punish them in the
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: in the shins.
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, kick them in the sh okay one hundred
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: the hats four for eight seven. It's a really, really
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: tough one and difficult one. We'd love your thoughts this morning,
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: and remember every caller that gets on the air gets
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: a Del Marti price back and one hundred dollars about
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: your as well. It is International Tea Day, so give
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: us a call, we'll get back and hopefully we can
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: solve this.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: The hits that johnaan Ben podcast.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: In the middle of a heavy Megan Megan. Just to
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: recap quickly, someone slims your DMS Meghan with a bit
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: of a dilemma.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So their brother passed away at the start of
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: the year. They've been helping his wife clear up all
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: the admind bills and whatnot, and has discovered on his
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: laptop that he was cheating on his wife. She has
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: no idea. They're also very good friends. So now she's like, well,
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: do I drop that grenade and blow up all her memories?
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: Or do I hold onto a secret and torment myself
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: because she's talking to her friend every day about her brother,
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: and it's.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: I just feel like there's so much damage to be
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: done if you do. It's like, just don't say anything.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Like when one of us sneakly parks downstairs in the
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: client car parks, none of us say anything because you
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: know that it will cause poor Joe who runs the
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: building some unduced stress. Okay, we keep it amongst ourselves.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: No harm, no foul, just a grace. Was just saying, though,
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: if you did say, would it make it easier for
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: them to move on? Yeah, like in a lot of ways,
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: because they probably hold this image of that person and
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: then maybe go maybe it wasn't everything I thought the
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: person was.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe I didn't know him that well. I don't know.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: How do we know it was an affair? On the
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: email too, could have been a long lost sibling love
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: you love you too well?
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: She said. It became quite clear on emails that he
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: had been having an affair who.
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: Seems like old school baby was just one step away
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: from the fact. So let's get Sam on You're on.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: What do you think here? Sam?
• 35:12
  Speaker 12: Hey? A, So, speaking from experience, I would recommend the
• 35:18
  Speaker 12: person to keep it to themselves.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: What do you mean speaking from experience?
• 35:23
  Speaker 12: So I've had a brother pass away. I actually got
• 35:27
  Speaker 12: to know their illegitimate son previously so that I could
• 35:32
  Speaker 12: keep them informed. And since that, the family really hasn't
• 35:40
  Speaker 12: spoken to me. I haven't had a relationship with his
• 35:43
  Speaker 12: kids anymore. And so let sleeping dogs lie. I kind
• 35:50
  Speaker 12: of believe. I know it's hard at the time to
• 35:52
  Speaker 12: deal with it, but you're just causing more pain for others.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: Really, So you told your family about his other life.
• 36:04
  Speaker 18: Yeah, yeah, not not intentionally, but I thought the other
• 36:08
  Speaker 18: person had a right to know as well in case
• 36:13
  Speaker 18: they wanted to say goodbyes.
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: And now you regret kind of doing it because it's
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: kind of fractured your relationship.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: Definitely, Definitely when you are just coming from it from
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: a genuine caring angle. Well, hey, thank you for your advice.
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: You're you're you just say stay tight lipped. Let's sleeping dogs.
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: Lie, Kara, We'll hock you up with the del Martin
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: price pack.
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: And one hundred International T Day today. Well done. Let's
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: get Cara on. What do you reckon? Dear Megan? Does
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: she tell or not?
• 36:41
  Speaker 19: She definitely tells?
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you say that.
• 36:48
  Speaker 19: When somebody in a family passes away? A divide happens
• 36:53
  Speaker 19: in any case, you know, like it's a double edged sword. Yeah.
• 36:59
  Speaker 19: I think she's going to go around talking about this
• 37:01
  Speaker 19: wonderful husband she had, what a great father he is,
• 37:04
  Speaker 19: when essentially he's you know, his behavior has been pretty.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Bad when you say it like that, if she someone
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: she's not that close to might be the one that
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: spills the beans out in public, you know, when maybe
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: it'd be better coming from someone she knows.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: That's a great option. Tell a third party who doesn't
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: know anyone out the door? Shall we take one more
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: quick one? Hayden, you're on welcome. What would you do
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: in the situation?
• 37:33
  Speaker 15: Would one hundred percent tell the truth?
• 37:35
  Speaker 20: It's so unfair for the friends to be holding on
• 37:38
  Speaker 20: to knowing the facts, So definitely tell the truth.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: I kind of feel like the truth always comes out
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: in the end, right.
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, but are you the person to do it
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: or not? Well? Yeah, that's the okay, So Megan we
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: need to something I don't want to everyone that called,
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: of course got on the egg wants to del Marte
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: price pack and one hundred dollars about you.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: Well, if you go by social media, they said, don't tell.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: And then if you go by who we've had on, yeah,
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: they say do tell.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: Means tell.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: I don't know what when you wake up in the morning.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: What are you compelled to do? Most keep the secret?
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: Will tell her. I think you've got to go with
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: your gut on this one.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: The hits that jonaan Ben podcast Meghan right now though
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: someone has slid into Meghan's DMS.
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: We do this every week or when someone slides into
• 38:21
  Speaker 4: your DMS with a bit of a dilemma that we
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: can put to you and hopefully you can help them out.
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: On Oh Andrew the Hats, Yes.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: This week it reads, Hi, guys, I have a dear
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: Megan situation for you. My mum doesn't like my husband.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: She tolerates him and is nice and polite to him always,
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: but we were planning to go away on holiday with
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: the whole family and stay together at an airbnb and
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: she has now told me she doesn't want to stay
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: in a house with him. She said she can't tolerate
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: being around him and staying with him twenty four to seven.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: It's actually so upsetting for me because they are two
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: of the most important people in my life. And to
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: make it worse, he doesn't know she doesn't like him.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: I can't tell him that she doesn't want to stay
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: because of him, but she says she won't come otherwise.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm going to end up upsetting one
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: of them, and I don't know. I don't want to
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: do that.
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: What's he done? What's this guy done?
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: Actually, I'm glad that was my first question, so I
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: actually asked a follow up questions. So he made a silly,
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: drunken comment at the family table at a wedding. So
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: he made like a joke that didn't go down well.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: And you always got to read the room when you're
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: delivering your comedy to straight to Fair. You know, extended
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: family liss.
• 39:34
  Speaker 21: Don't you.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: It was obviously bad enough for the mom to be
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: like no h in that situation.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: You always hope that someone does something worse than you
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: at the wedding. You know, someone you know knocks Nanna
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: into the cake or something overshadows your terrible moment.
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: So what do what do we want? We want some
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: advice for her. Yeah, and it's her how she navigates
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: this because obviously the mom does want to hang out
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: with him, and she doesn't want to.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: She's obviously doesn't want the confrontation or the conflict. Then
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: I get it, you don't want because then he's going
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: to feel awkward. She's the best thing. I don't know
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: much about family affairs, but the best thing I reckon
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: is to just suppress it, pretend it doesn't exist, let
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: it bubble away for a number of years, until it
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: explodes in a in a volcano of anger. It's like
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: my ankle's on a long hall flight.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know what I would do in that scenario.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: You don't want to cancel the trap, but you don't
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: want to push her, your mum into it.
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because normally I would say, you don't have to
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: hang out. You don't have to hang out. I mean,
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: obviously birthdays and Christmas is, but you're not in a relationship,
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: you know, mum, and your mom doesn't have to get
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: in the partner, don't have to hang out. No, they
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: can be civil, yeah, on the occasions. So going away
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: feels like a step too far. But you've already committed
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: to that.
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: Why don't you just get a separate accommodation in your
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: own accommodation away from you know, then you just see
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: him pockets. She can kind of play guards. She can go, hey,
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: well let's not go over there, just to do some
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: other stuff.
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: You know, she protected I'll hit one of your jokes,
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: but maybe don't talk to.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: Anyone and you can tell all your husbands because you're like, well,
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: I just want it to be asked.
• 41:06
  Speaker 22: Just us.
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: Imagine these people listening right now that have you know,
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: their relationships with where their partner does not get on
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: with the parents, and that's I mean, that's that happens,
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: that's natural, right, Yeah, I have to get on human behavior.
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: It makes a heart.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: We did speak to someone on this show actually a
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: few years ago, and she didn't get along with her
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: mother in law. On Christmas Day, she dropped her husband
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: off to have Christmas dinner. She sat at the end
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: of the driveway in the car for four hours.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Are you tue? Does she not have anywhere else to go?
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: Though?
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: She said that.
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: Would have been looking out the window and probably.
• 41:45
  Speaker 15: There you go.
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: So that's a solution.
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, the hats do you not maybe don't get
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: on or maybe had the situation happened with your relationship?
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: How bad was the joke?
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: To be pretty bad? Or mum's really sensitive?
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: Maybe we should play the Netflix roast the Hey, look
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: at all these jokes?
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the hats that Jonathan Ben podcast Meghan.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: So this comes from someone who is in a situation
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: between her husband and her mum. Basically, we did a
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: follow up question and found out that the husband made
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: an inappropriate joke, a drunken joke at a wedding, and
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: now her mom doesn't like her husband. They were planning
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: to go on a holiday together and all stay together
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: at an airbnb, but she's now told her she doesn't
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: want to stay in the same house with him. Also,
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: the husband is blissfully.
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: Unaware, which I love.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I just love that he's so he doesn't know that
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: the mom doesn't like it.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: How do you not know when someone's not vibing you?
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: You do know, don't you?
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Maybe he's just like I hope he's been firing out
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: any more jokes since the initial piece of comedy. Here's
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: a potential solution. Could she put a mustache on him
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: in a wig challenge. Put on a German accent. You husband.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: He might ask some questions as to why he's having
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: to do this.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: But every time you run my mum, just put on
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: that German exit.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: This is Hans Kruger.
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: A lot of people weighing in on the Facebook page
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: and on texting, on calls. A lot of people are saying, well,
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: just sounds like the mother will be staying home. Then
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: don't let the mother be manipulating. Tell her to stay
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: home and not come at all. There's another person think
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: he said she said the same problem. My mother doesn't
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: like the partner for nineteen years ago. I don't give
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: her an ultimatum either make an effort or stay home.
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: Don't ruin the holiday. So that's pretty much the things
• 43:30
  Speaker 4: and I probably I would agree with them. It's kind
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: of like, well, don't come then if you don't want
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: to come and don't.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: Come, shares you you're the one who's got the problem
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: with that. He's the hardline from you, probably what I mean,
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: what you know, just I have to come.
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: It's mean to be a holiday. It's not like it
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: has to be a family occasion.
• 43:44
  Speaker 15: Everyone has to hang it.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: Over to.
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: Shares you're on. Welcome your thoughts on this one. How
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: does how does she tackle this Fridley situation? Shares a.
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: Hello, Yeah, we can mate.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: What do you think?
• 44:02
  Speaker 17: Good morning team? Hey, look, I think this lady needs
• 44:05
  Speaker 17: to have a sit down with her mom and probably
• 44:07
  Speaker 17: her husband as well, and just say to mom, has
• 44:10
  Speaker 17: he ever offended you in any other way? Was it
• 44:12
  Speaker 17: the one source? And get over it? And she needs
• 44:15
  Speaker 17: to probably have a one on one with her husband
• 44:17
  Speaker 17: and say, listen, I heard that my mom was a
• 44:19
  Speaker 17: little bit offended by their joke. As you told when
• 44:21
  Speaker 17: you had a few. Maybe you should just say hey,
• 44:24
  Speaker 17: mommy and know I'm really sorry about that. If I
• 44:26
  Speaker 17: offended you, get over Once you live every day?
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: What im saying?
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: You sound like a real mature grown up. It seems
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: like a very realistic way to deal with things.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: I going to go down to the morning and get
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: that printed on a coffee cup or something. Yeah, die
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: once you live every day? Thank you. H has great
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: insight there this morning, deb you will get you offrom
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: Parmers the North. How do we navigate this one? This morning?
• 44:53
  Speaker 8: Dead's I'm of the same thoughts as she has a
• 44:57
  Speaker 8: but in the sense that he may not even know
• 45:00
  Speaker 8: that he's offended her. So I think maybe they should
• 45:03
  Speaker 8: just be the wife should tell him that he's offended
• 45:07
  Speaker 8: her at a wedding or when wherever it was, and
• 45:09
  Speaker 8: then I don't know, maybe they go and speak to
• 45:13
  Speaker 8: the mother in law. But at the end of the day,
• 45:15
  Speaker 8: the mother in law needs to get over it.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: That's okay. It seems to be that the popular opinion.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: I know, but I hate these confrontational chats.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're so confrontational.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh, oh god, can you just imagine mediating that.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: I always find the anticipation of those conversations are a
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: lot worse than once you get into them. Everyone's just
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: having open and happy dialogue works for a resolution. Victor
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: on welcome, how are you.
• 45:41
  Speaker 18: Thank?
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: Mother in law not happy with his low brow comedy
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: at the wedding, doesn't want to go on holiday with
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: her husband. What do you think?
• 45:48
  Speaker 13: Oh?
• 45:48
  Speaker 11: I think they shouldn't definition shouldn't try to hide it,
• 45:53
  Speaker 11: and I think that he should be made aware and
• 45:56
  Speaker 11: they should be having a conversation.
• 45:59
  Speaker 7: And then you know it's you know, she chose her husband,
• 46:04
  Speaker 7: so she might need to make that decision with a
• 46:06
  Speaker 7: vay go on holiday.
• 46:09
  Speaker 4: It's a clean sweep. With a clean sweep the message
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: to pass on, right, Meghan.
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, it's giving me anxiety thinking about this conversation,
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: but luckily I don't have to do it. But it
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: seems like you should all just have a chat and
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: I agree, tell him and give him the chance to
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: make it up to your mum.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: Maybe it was the delivery of the maybe you get around.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: The hits that John and Ben podcast mean.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: This is where people slide into my dms with conundrums
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: in their life and we check it out to you
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: and we all get to judge and throw our two
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: cents in. But they've opted the information up there for
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: people to judge.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: I would like some follow up sometimes, you know, we've
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: handed out our vice no responsibility, and we'll get some
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: follow up on some of these what's Today's all? Right?
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: This one? Hi, Meghan? I don't know if I'm being unreasonable.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: I love it when they start like that, but my
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: friend means you are wow?
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: Is she?
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: My friend stayed with me and my husband over the weekend,
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: and she had a shower and then she came out
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: and sat with me and him on the couch and
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: her towel is that weird? I felt uncomfortable. My husband
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: also felt weird about it, Like she is naked under
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: the towel. We are good friends, but she can be
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: pretty free and easy when it comes to how she
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: acts around our group's husbands. What do I do?
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: What do you?
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: What would you do?
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: Well? If we look at a towel, I'm assuming wrapped
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: around underneath the armpit, it's just really an absorbent dress,
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: isn't it really when you put it in that fashion?
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: But she was naked underneath.
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: She's not wearing a flannel.
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: The questions underneath wrapped around, naked underneath our clothes technically naked.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Underneath it, that's not clothes aren't at risk of just
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: falling off? And also, like you imagine the towel short,
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: ain't she sitting down on the couch?
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: What does she want to do?
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: So get off my couch.
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: If you've got a whig towel, you've got a damp towel,
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: that's not the issue here, making that that's the more
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: important issue. So she wanted to notice she confronts her
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: about Yeah, does she say, oh, you.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: Know, I guess next time? Oh god, that's an a
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: good conversation.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: The husband's definitely eyes up situation.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Then no, yeah, the wife brings it up and he's like,
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: oh yeah, I was weird. Oh yeah, I didn't like it.
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: I want to bring this to home. It's probably a
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: little bit awkward.
• 48:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I don't know. I don't know if it's
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: super awkward.
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: What if you were swimming at the beach. Didn't she
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: be in a town?
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: Your wife Amanda's friends comes over and stays. Then suddenly,
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: like after the shower comes out, sits on the couch
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: with you and the towel make it underneath. This is
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: the beginning of a movie people as your wife listening.
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: Maybe maybe a little but I don't know.
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 48:52
  Speaker 4: Would you need to bring it up straight out of
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: the shower, no towel and sat down that would be
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: all good? That's awkward. Or wading around the house with
• 49:01
  Speaker 4: no clothes on.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: Would you confront your friend she's toweling up a storm
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: again moistening up your couch, which is I'd.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: Probably be more annoyed about the moistening up the couch,
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: to be honest, like your couch is weird.
• 49:14
  Speaker 4: I'd be more good if it was a bikini because
• 49:17
  Speaker 4: I feel like a towel covers up more. So I'm like,
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: you know, like there and I'd be like, you know,
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: like what look but you go to the beach with
• 49:24
  Speaker 4: you but you know, but right next to you know,
• 49:26
  Speaker 4: we're having conversation with you know, it's more real estate
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: covered with the towel.
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: Okay, So does this lady confront her friend or does
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: she let it slow.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: The heads that jonaan Ben.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: Podcast me, this has divided everyone, which I thought it
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: would be more cut and dry. So a woman has
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: seated her friends, stayed over, her friends stayed over, had
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: a shower, came out, and a towel sat on the
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: couch with her and her husband and it made her
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable. Should you say something? What would you do?
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: Is it appropriate?
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: They were giving her a toweling down Ben, you don't
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: see anything wrong that you see. It's you know, covering
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: up eighty percent of a body.
• 50:03
  Speaker 4: I tell I think I've got a huge issue with
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: it hasn't happened to me the situation, so maybe it
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: would be awkward in that moment, But I'm kind of like,
• 50:10
  Speaker 4: it's not like it's a flirtation, doesn't feel How.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: Can we set this up in Ben's house.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: What if.
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: On a tail?
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: I've seen more of you, Yeah, to be honest, and
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: a lot of great texts coming through. But we'll get
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: to the calls first. Casey, Uh, what are we doing
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: burning at the steak here? What's going on now?
• 50:34
  Speaker 23: I sort of see it, as you know, like if
• 50:36
  Speaker 23: she wasn't sort of sitting there and showing things, then
• 50:41
  Speaker 23: I don't see the problem with it myself. And I
• 50:44
  Speaker 23: do feel like you definitely see worse things out and about,
• 50:47
  Speaker 23: even at the mall these days, you do.
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: Some people are wanting round in pajamas out there, crazy stuff. Mate.
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: You know you're right, Casey, there we go. I appreciate
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: that great text here for for it to see. Would
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: you answer the door and a towel? Question?
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: Mark?
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: Go get dressed? Your floozy?
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: Well people do, right?
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: I love the word floozy. Paul, you're on welcome?
• 51:14
  Speaker 5: How are you?
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: Paul?
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Here you go here, you're floozy. What's going on? Mate?
• 51:19
  Speaker 21: It sounds to me like she doesn't make she trust
• 51:21
  Speaker 21: her husband. I would say, see more in a bikini
• 51:28
  Speaker 21: down on the beach. What's what's the issue?
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: I don't see those I kind of took it that
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: she just kind of felt uncomfortable. But you're taking it
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: from like she was worried her husband. Was I balling
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: the situation?
• 51:40
  Speaker 21: Yeah that sounds like what it is to me.
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, pause, trust into the when you sat dropping the
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: tea bombs, it's a bigger conversation text your four throats
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: even just comes through. What's the point of saying make
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: yourself at home if they don't feel comfortable to make
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: themselves feel at home?
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: Do you know the main problem I had with it
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: as I wouldn't sit on my own couch in a
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: towel alone.
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: Like coming back to this is the real crime.
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: It's not about the but that you just wiped yourself with.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: Can you get off you care?
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, tear me you're on? What are you doing? You're
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: you're sitting in your lounge. Your friend comes out in
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: a towel and starts having a conversation with you and
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: your partner.
• 52:19
  Speaker 22: Well, it's pretty disrespectful to both the wife and husband.
• 52:24
  Speaker 22: I mean you'll often tell your husband or wife off
• 52:26
  Speaker 22: if they come in on your couch. Would no wonder
• 52:29
  Speaker 22: where it was the moisteness from, not their towels getting
• 52:33
  Speaker 22: all over your materialiss.
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: Making us feel uncomfortable. But you're right, Timmy, and you
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: know it's disrespectful to the couch.
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: People worry about the couch.
• 52:49
  Speaker 24: The couch is like how may And it's micro flirting.
• 52:53
  Speaker 18: Let's be honest.
• 52:56
  Speaker 17: You think it's micro flurting.
• 52:58
  Speaker 24: Who who would if you're respectful of your friends, male
• 53:04
  Speaker 24: or female, who would do that?
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't sit on your couch on a towel, ben Like,
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: that's weird.
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: It's weird that that is weird. You're right, that is weird.
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: That produce a tailor.
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: Probably wouldn't stay the night though right out, you know,
• 53:20
  Speaker 4: actually have you know like all those things. You know,
• 53:24
  Speaker 4: this is obviously a free in a close personal friend.
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying not be that relationship coming up to
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: that hypothetical Wed Taylor.
• 53:33
  Speaker 24: Penty of good female friends that I would never do
• 53:38
  Speaker 24: that to. And for my particial life, I do coaching
• 53:40
  Speaker 24: and that as well, and when I talk to people.
• 53:42
  Speaker 24: Yet that's a that's crossing.
• 53:45
  Speaker 22: Lots of people's boundaries.
• 53:46
  Speaker 24: It's it's really ick for your friends.
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: Both.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: I agree with.
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: All your points.
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be dramatic or speculate, but I
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: think she was putting the feelers out to see they
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: were in an open marriage and seeing if there was
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: any chance of hooking up with them.
• 54:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you guys read lot into these situations.
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: Maybe I don't. Someone in four four seven once answered
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: the door to scare off of naked Jehovah's witness the
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: tree there you go, that can't can.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: Be Jehovah's witness was naked? Or they answered the door naked.
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: Jehovah's witness. That would you.
• 54:24
  Speaker 4: Like to witness this?
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: The Heads that johnaan Ben podcast.
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: Meghan, Okay, Meghan. People slide into your DMS. They trust you,
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: they like you. They like to share your their dirty
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: laundry with you. Then you air out the laundry on
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: the radio. It's a full service. We get rid of
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: stained removals, folding, We do it all, don't we with
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: this dirty laundry? What's happening today? Mate?
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: So this one sticky it sees. Hey, your team, I
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: have a dear Meghan for you. I've found out that
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: my husband has sleept with one of his friends. It
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: was before we were together, but we hang out all
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: the time, and I always felt like she didn't like
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: me much. I feel like she he should have told me,
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: and he's been keeping it a secret.
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: I don't want them hanging out, especially because she isn't
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: nice to me. It makes me think that she still
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: has feelings for him, and that's where her hostility is
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: coming from. What do I do now? Please?
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: I want to know who told her? Like it feels
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: like so much time has pasted it. He probably hasn't
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: told her because well, to be honest, he wanted to
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: avoid all the conversation.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, someone in the friend group.
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: Some loose li it nosey Parker.
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: It's tough though. You can to see from his point
• 55:42
  Speaker 4: of view, like why he didn't want to say anything,
• 55:44
  Speaker 4: and then you'd probably leave it too long and then
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: you want to go, oh, I guess what. Yeah, by
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: the way this happens, so's I mean? Like, it does
• 55:52
  Speaker 4: feel like you put it in the nice to know
• 55:54
  Speaker 4: category in terms of information. It would have been nice
• 55:57
  Speaker 4: to know.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: So, like you say, you would have ripped the plaster
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: early on, go hey, we hang out with this person.
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: Might have smooched. We might have smooched back in the day.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: But hey, more than a smoke.
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: Our rhythm was off, our timing was all out of
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: killed her and it just was never gonna work. Yeah,
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: and so maybe that's the reason, and she got a
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: partner now this new the friend group.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: Girl doesn't say it, doesn't say, but she's saying, I
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: think the bigger problem is that you could be fine
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: if they were just friends and she was nice to you,
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: But she's being unkind to her. So that makes you
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: think that you know, she's still got feeling for the husband.
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: So the question is does she ban him from seeing
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: her yeah.
• 56:39
  Speaker 16: Or not?
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: Or is she chilled then yeah, and quietly fester away
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: over a number of years until she's.
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: The hits that jonaan Ben podcast.
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: Megan where we get someone sliding into Megan's tms and
• 56:53
  Speaker 4: we get to your thoughts on what they should do
• 56:55
  Speaker 4: with a bit of a dilemma.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: So the issue is this person found out their husband
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: has slept with one of their friends, that someone they
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: hang out with a lot, but it was before they
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: were together. But she sees she's always felt like she
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: didn't like her much, so there might be a bit
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: of beef there. And she said, because she doesn't like
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: her much, she said, maybe she still has feelings for him.
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: What does she do now I only want to know
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: how she found out this information. Obviously there was something
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: from the husband, third party, trouble making busybody who launched
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: a grenade into the social battlegrounds and making this poor
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: lady feel very insecure about life. Yeah, we don't want
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: there being your advice to her.
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: It's really hard, Like I kind of feel like the
• 57:35
  Speaker 4: situation like you'd probably best that she didn't know, like
• 57:38
  Speaker 4: and you know, like I understand why no one said anything,
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: but now it's out there, you kind of just have
• 57:44
  Speaker 4: to kind of you're in a relationship, you kind of
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: have to just kind of suck it up and move on. Really,
• 57:49
  Speaker 4: I mean, it does feel like it'd be quite a
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: big move to go, well, now you can't see each
• 57:53
  Speaker 4: other for something that you've only just discovered this happened,
• 57:56
  Speaker 4: but happened years ago.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: You can't do do the bumping ugliesa can you? The
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: uglies have been bumped, Denise, You're on are not referring
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: to this lady as and ugly either. I really found
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: myself in a bit of a trip out there. Sorry, Denique,
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: welcome your advice.
• 58:14
  Speaker 7: So my advice would be there's two things. Guys often
• 58:18
  Speaker 7: don't mention exits because for them, it's done. They have
• 58:22
  Speaker 7: no relevance in terms of any to them, so he's
• 58:26
  Speaker 7: probably kept her as a friend because their social group
• 58:30
  Speaker 7: calls for that. However, she should address the behavior with
• 58:34
  Speaker 7: her husband so they can tackle it. In terms of
• 58:37
  Speaker 7: what she does with the friends, it's just they don't
• 58:39
  Speaker 7: have one on one time they go hang out because
• 58:42
  Speaker 7: I bet someone's told them because she's finding it really
• 58:46
  Speaker 7: hard seeing them being really happy and living the life
• 58:49
  Speaker 7: she probably wanted. So it's just fiteful. So she should
• 58:53
  Speaker 7: just go live her life, be with her husband, and
• 58:55
  Speaker 7: any behaviors that happen that are inappropriate, they should just
• 59:00
  Speaker 7: work it as a team. The point of telling someone
• 59:02
  Speaker 7: this information is to try and get them to not
• 59:05
  Speaker 7: be on the same page and cause a fight.
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: So how much do we have to pay for this season?
• 59:15
  Speaker 7: I'm not qualified, so I can't get paid for it.
• 59:18
  Speaker 7: But I'm just used to all the friends in their
• 59:21
  Speaker 7: kind of relationships. I've kind of seen when people mention
• 59:26
  Speaker 7: something far back in the past and it causes harm.
• 59:30
  Speaker 7: It's usually with an intention of causing, you know, the
• 59:33
  Speaker 7: two parties not to talk. For her to tell them
• 59:37
  Speaker 7: to not see her do all this and it takes
• 59:40
  Speaker 7: away actually what needs to be addressed, which is the behavior.
• 59:43
  Speaker 7: So as for example, she doesn't say hi, or say
• 59:47
  Speaker 7: nasty things, or like if they're doing a friends thing,
• 59:51
  Speaker 7: she tries to isolate. That's where the hubby can come
• 59:54
  Speaker 7: in and be like, don't me and her team, or no,
• 59:58
  Speaker 7: that's not cool if we're not going to do that,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 7: or she's not invited. You know, we're not going to
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 7: come that.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: Denique, that is she's rock solid advice. Summed up, I
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 3: have really impressive. I appreciate you taking the time to
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: call this morning, Tony, you have a great day. We've
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: got an anonymous caller now wanting to chime in on this.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: Ladies just discovered her husband did connect physically with someone
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: in the friend group, but years previous. She's only found
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: out about it. Now, what's your advice?
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 12: It's me, that's you.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: It's hard, that's hard. Anonymous could be any one of
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 3: the anonymous people out there.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, I'm coming at up from the same point as
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 5: the last. Paula really like, why you don't want to
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 5: make something out of something that was of the past,
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 5: and ultimately it's the behavior exactly the behavior you want
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: to deal with between the parties, because I mean, you
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 5: want to be respectful to each other and a friendship.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 5: So ultimately have won the man and you're untilready your husband,
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 5: so you know you can't change.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 7: You can't change.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: That's right. There's only someone on one person going home
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: to me every night. Take him for a good old date.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: Thank you very much for be calls to there go
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: that's one hundred percent, and even the text and Facebook
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: messages as well, going what's in the past in the past,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: have you got an issue? Talk with him?
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 14: Yeah?
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: Or talk with the woman and be like, have you
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: got an issue with me?
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 4: Just have Was she the one that brought anywhere? We
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 4: don't know who brought it up?
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: As you say, we don't know that she's being mean
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: to her, so just have it up with her. It's
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: got nothing to do with you and your husband.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: The heads that johnaan Ben podcast.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 4: Someone has slid into Megan's the ms again with a
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 4: bit of uh well, but of help needed for some
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 4: advice that we hopefully we can put out to you
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 4: pre wedding.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you have something you'd like to ask
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: the team about in the nation, just slide into my DMS.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: We have no experience. We just say some stuff, but
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 3: usually the listeners come through with some great advice.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: Well, technically this is addressed to all of us, so
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: they kind of aren't asking you. Well, it says, hey,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: John Obinier, Meghan.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: Dump him, dump him.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: Here is a dear Meghan, dilemma for you. Me and
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: my fiance to get married in six months. But there
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: is one thing we are disagreeing about, and it has
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: nothing to do with the wedding. I'm keen to join
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: bank accounts, but he really wants to keep secret accounts
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: and keep spending our own money. That just seems weird
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: to me. We are joining together in marriage. To me,
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: that means joining finances as well. All our bills become shared,
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: so why wouldn't our money. Does that mean he's hiding
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: something or is that a normal thing. Appreciate your guys help.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: It's interesting. I feel like he still is to keep
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: his financial freedom and not you not knowing what he
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: spends his money on. Maybe so yeah, he's hiding stuff.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: Sometimes we like to go to Burger King, Burgerfield, McDonald's, Wendy's,
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 3: to go back to KFC all on Monday, and we
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: don't want the shame of that being exposed on our
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 3: bank accounts.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 4: Tricky one, because you know, I imagine there are some
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 4: people out there they are in a relationship for many
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 4: years that may have separate bank accounts, And that's why
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 4: we still have our own separate bank accounts, my wife
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 4: Amanda and I we've always had. But then you have
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 4: a sort of a joint account. Yeah, we're in the
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 4: same scenario.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like once you're married, you married, Like
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: if they concern is ownership over how much how much
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: money or finance you bring into the relationship, well then
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: they're going to have half your stuff anyway, right, Yeah,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: after a certain period of time. So if that's the concern,
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: then you kind of eliminate that by joining bank accounts.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: Because I've always found it weird when someone you have
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: like a joint account and everyone puts money in, like
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: you split the bills, because not everyone in a relationship
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: earns the same amount of money, right, So like that
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: might be quite hard for someone to pay half if
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: they're not earning as much as someone else.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, automatically, I'm painting him as a villain in my head.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: He ses holding his onto his cash for nefurious purposes.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: It's not the case. No, No, you're right. Maybe it's
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: just genuine like, hey, it's definitely giving off. I don't
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: feel like this is going to last vibes, and I
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: want Les Edmond at the back end of it. But
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: what would you do? Andrew's like, hey, I reckon, we
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: should keep seperate bank accounts heading into this.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 4: But it can change though. You can have separate bank
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 4: accounts and a few months later you can go actually
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 4: merge them together.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: Why Yeah, I don't know. It's not weird. But I've
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: always been the bread winner in the relationship. So Andrew's
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: quite keen to like bank accounts.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 4: Because I know, you know, from time to time you
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 4: may make a purchase that you don't want Andrew to
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 4: know about what happens in those situations.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: Credit cards, my friend, r okay, credit cards packages you
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: have tuning up?
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: Can we have a limit though, like you wouldn't spend
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: too much over like turn, you wouldn't spin over turndred
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: Bucks without But.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: Then Bing has said, well, sometimes you could buy something
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: for one nine nine and.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 4: Then again for another on the heads four four eight seven,
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 4: what should this person do? Should they be concerned about
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 4: by not wanting to split the.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: Well, does she fight her point or is it normal?
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: Is it okay?
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: The Heads that John and Ben podcast.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: Damn Meghan, Now, Megan, you did such a bang up
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: job of explaining the scenario.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: Eloquently this time. Here is the scenario. They're getting married
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: in six months. But she wants to join accounts and
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: he does not want to. She wants to know if
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: this is weird. Does it mean he's hiding something or
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: is it a normal thing to have bred accounts?
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 22: Oh?
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: Money, It's just money at the end of the day,
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 3: isn't it. All you need it for is somewhere to live,
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 3: somewhere to eat, somewhere to put petrol in your car.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: Part from that, it doesn't matter, you know, don't let
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 3: it a feat your relationship. Yeah.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: I think the less disagreements you can have about money,
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: the better. Like, just chuck it all together and that's
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: what you do. Better. Mean, I don't know any other way.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 4: Credit cards as well, which is not a bad solution
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 4: for this, right.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you still want a little bit of freedom, don't you.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: Other people are saying to be able to buy presents
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: and not have them stumble upon it on your statements.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 23: That's right.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: You want to be able to buy presents for your partner.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: That's why you need a sup damn right, Megan, let's
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: get Joe on the advice here. Does this lady parsue
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: this issue any further or just leave it? What do
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 3: you think they're Joe?
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 11: I don't think there's a massive issue with wanting separate money,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 11: but like, you're together, so why not put all your
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 11: money together and then give each other like an allowance
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 11: for a fortnight or a week or something. But also
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 11: when they have kids, like if they choose to have kids,
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 11: and if she's staying at home and not working and
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 11: has no form of income, what's she going to do
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 11: for money? Like does she have to ask her partner
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 11: for yeah money?
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 3: Then he's got weird full control. Yeah, I see what
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 3: you're saying. Someone's texting here for for seven Joe, don't
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 3: know how you feel about this. We have separate bank
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 3: accounts being together for twenty plus year years. The bills
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: and food, et cetera go into one one account. The
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: rest of what we earn is ours and it has
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 3: never caused any issues in our relationship.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: But then when one person is not earning. What happens
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: is what Joe's saying, right.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 3: Survival of the fittest.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 4: Sucks. I'm going out for dinner.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 3: With the supermarkets. Throw some stuff out of the bins
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: out back if you want to feed. Yeah, no, I
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 3: see what you mean, Joe. Well then maybe there needs
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: to be some sort of arrange where you're like, well,
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 3: obviously I'm going to look after you.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 4: That's right, that's what marriage is about.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 3: You know, Tony will get you on. What's your advice
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: for this list of this morning tone?
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 20: Hey, guys, honestly, I think it is a graph a
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 20: little bit. You're getting married, like, it's a pretty massive step.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 20: It's like another thing he could have passed trauma from
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 20: a past relationship. Joining money. It happened to me my
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 20: joining money, and I was a bit skeptical, but you
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 20: get past it. Trauma is the case. But you know
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 20: we've joined money. We have our spending money that we
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 20: have watches, you know, for gifts and our own things.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 20: But yeah, you know, I think you're getting married. That's
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 20: a massive step.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: So you're right, And you know we mentioned before that
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 3: you know, after a certain time period, really married or
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: not married.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 4: I think three years, isn't it three years?
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 2: They split up everything anyway.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So when you think about it like that, it's
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 3: not really and marriage is like you said, it's a
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 3: huge step. That's a joy. That's the join the account
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: situation there, Tony.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 4: What happened to you?
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: Did you did the previous partner rip you off? Tony?
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 15: Yeah?
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 20: Yeah, just I think I was there. Karma my way
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 20: and you know, love and alone.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 15: Carry on.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 4: Well, good advice. Thank you. I appreciate your sharing it
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 4: with us and the nation this morning. Have a great day, man,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 4: all right, Megan.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 2: To be honest, it's really split because a lot of
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: people commented on the Facebook as well, a lot of
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: people are doing separate accounts and it seems to work
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: for them. So I guess it's a common assation you
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: need to have. But if you have worries about it,
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 2: you definitely need to talk to them and clear the
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 2: ear that he's not hiding anything.