Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 76 | You Can't Handle the Bit

Transcript

76 | You Can't Handle the Bit · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: Eric, I want to start with a subject that we have explored on this podcast before.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 0:07
  Matt: And that is the subject of public restrooms and the stalls therein.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Approach my child.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me what you have learned.
• 0:18
  Matt: We've spoken before about how nice it is when you walk into a restroom in a restaurant or other public place and there is a good stall.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Indescribable feeling.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I feel so safe when I see a good stall.
• 0:36
  Matt: I'm so glad that you pointed that out.
• 0:38
  Matt: You feel so safe.
• 0:40
  Matt: Yep.
• 0:41
  Matt: So imagine my surprise when I found myself in the situation that I am about to describe.
• 0:49
  Matt: I was uh out to dinner with my parents and Lindsay.
• 0:53
  Matt: We were at a lovely uh DC restaurant by the name of Ted's Bulletin.
• 0:58
  Matt: It's delicious.
• 0:59
  Matt: Uh if you haven't been, I highly recommend.
• 1:00
  Matt: It's a little bit local chain.
• 1:03
  Matt: Anyway, there I was, had to go to the restroom.
• 1:07
  Matt: So away I went, and I was so relieved when I walked in and saw a stall, floor-to-ceiling door.
• 1:17
  unknown: Yes.
• 1:18
  Matt: That door, wood.
• 1:21
  Matt: Solid actual wood.
• 1:23
  Matt: Not, not, yeah, no bullshit at Ted's.
• 1:26
  Matt: Okay, it's the real deal.
• 1:29
  Matt: A tree died, so I could shit behind it.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:33
  Matt: And so I opened it.
• 1:34
  Matt: Primo grain on that shitter door.
• 1:37
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 1:38
  Matt: I go into this little stall.
• 1:40
  Matt: I'm totally enclosed.
• 1:43
  Matt: Sound muffled.
• 1:45
  Matt: It's like a little room.
• 1:46
  Matt: It's like a room within the bathroom.
• 1:48
  Matt: That's what we want.
• 1:50
  Matt: Establishments.
• 1:51
  Matt: That's what we deserve.
• 1:53
  Matt: It's what we deserve.
• 1:54
  Matt: We don't want these high school stalls in between.
• 1:58
  Matt: You know, I don't want to be able to actively analyze the footwear of the person next to me.
• 2:04
  Matt: I want a knob on my fucking stall.
• 2:07
  Matt: I want a knob and a proper lock, and this door had it all.
• 2:13
  Matt: So there I was.
• 2:14
  Matt: And since I was in there and I was feeling so safe and secure and so relaxed, I began, you know, doing stuff on my phone.
• 2:22
  Matt: I believe I was posting something.
• 2:24
  Matt: It might as might have very well been for this podcast.
• 2:27
  Matt: Nice dedicated.
• 2:28
  Matt: I was doing some sort of engagement.
• 2:31
  Matt: Okay.
• 2:31
  Matt: Right.
• 2:31
  Matt: And so I became vaguely aware that the door to the bathroom opened.
• 2:37
  Matt: Okay.
• 2:37
  Matt: Okay.
• 2:38
  Matt: And the uh the person in there, there are other stalls.
• 2:41
  Matt: Okay.
• 2:42
  Matt: There's two other stalls and then the your nulls.
• 2:45
  Matt: Yep.
• 2:45
  Matt: Yes.
• 2:46
  Matt: Of which obviously I want no part of.
• 2:49
  Matt: No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 2:50
  Matt: This person's in here could be doing anything at all.
• 2:55
  Matt: You have no idea.
• 2:56
  Matt: You're in another room.
• 2:57
  Matt: I I don't know what they're doing out there.
• 2:59
  Matt: And but I don't really hear them, and that's fine.
• 3:02
  Matt: Whatever.
• 3:03
  Matt: But there are again, there are other stalls.
• 3:06
  Matt: So as soon as there's other stalls involved, I also feel no pressure to get out of the stall, which I absolutely hate.
• 3:15
  Matt: I hate feeling rushed in the loo.
• 3:18
  Matt: Okay.
• 3:18
  Matt: I can't I can't handle it.
• 3:20
  Matt: I get because then I can't go.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: If I walk into a bathroom and I see a row of stalls and like all but one door is closed, I will go try to find another bathroom because that's too much pressure on the situation.
• 3:33
  Matt: Too much pressure on the situation.
• 3:35
  Matt: I'll let people go ahead of me.
• 3:36
  Matt: If I think if I can just be the last one in line, it'll be okay.
• 3:41
  Matt: But you but that's really only when there's like one or two stalls.
• 3:45
  Matt: Three stalls, either of the other gentlemen are to blame, you know, instead of me.
• 3:51
  Matt: So there I am feeling safe on my phone.
• 3:54
  Matt: I finish whatever my phone business is, along with my butt business.
• 3:59
  Matt: And so then I so then I prepare to make my escape and I open the door.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm imagining you just pulling out a fucking glock and putting a silencer on it, busting out GoldenEye style.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: There is one more sidebar.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So when someone does, if you're in a bathroom and someone knocks, if you're like the if it's like a single occupant bathroom and someone like, you know, you're doing your your your toilet business.
• 4:26
  Eric: Yeah.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're making toilets in and someone knocks, what sound or words do you make to signify that you are there?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's a that's good.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good question.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: That we should have done in our main portion of the show.
• 4:40
  Matt: Should have.
• 4:41
  Matt: Um I'll I'll I'll often say something real quick, like, uh, one second.
• 4:46
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I I always like I I you with a with a yep, yep.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, that's what I did.
• 4:52
  Matt: Yeah, you'll do that.
• 4:53
  Matt: Sometimes I'll throw out I don't know why, but sometimes it'll come out of me to be like occupied.
• 4:59
  Matt: And whenever I do that, I'm like, why the fuck did I say occupied?
• 5:04
  Matt: Of all the things I could have said.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, we should start hitting our guests with this question.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Every new guest we bring on the show, what sound do you make when someone knocks on the back door?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: When someone knocks on your stall door.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that'll just really set the intimacy level, really break down those barriers.
• 5:22
  Matt: Really set people at ease.
• 5:24
  Matt: And speaking of setting people at ease, there I was making my escape.
• 5:28
  Matt: I opened the door, and staring at me, Eric, are five, not one, not two, five men who must have all entered when the door opened.
• 5:43
  Matt: You remember the story I was telling half an hour ago.
• 5:46
  Matt: Yes.
• 5:46
  Matt: The one door opened, I assumed one person came in.
• 5:49
  Matt: No, no, it was five people.
• 5:51
  Matt: And not only did they come in, they didn't say anything.
• 5:58
  Matt: They've been standing there for at least five minutes, silently and staring at the door.
• 6:08
  Matt: They entered as a pack.
• 6:10
  Matt: What the fuck?
• 6:11
  Matt: They're all staring at me, and my very first thought was, Am I about to get mugged?
• 6:17
  Matt: Yeah, is this how I die?
• 6:20
  Matt: Yeah, the other two stalls open.
• 6:23
  Matt: So it's not like they're waiting for me.
• 6:25
  Matt: And I was like, uh, excuse me, and like washed my hands and got the fuck out of there.
• 6:32
  Matt: Yeah, I'm not sure.
• 6:33
  Matt: Because I I and I walk out, and there's Lindsay, my dad, and my mom, who were all in sight of the bathroom, laughing their ass off because they saw these five men all enter in a pack.
• 6:48
  Matt: And so I because I walk over and I'm looking around like, what the fuck?
• 6:52
  Matt: And I sit down, and my mom was like, What did they do in there?
• 6:57
  Matt: And I I didn't even need to give them the story, I didn't even need to tell them.
• 7:01
  Matt: They've been waiting for me to come out with my version.
• 7:04
  Matt: And I was just like, they're just in there staring, and then they all left as a group.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's fucking wild.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: The thing that my brain keeps coming back to is the silence.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's the silence for me.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you're in a group of five people, the creepiness of your silence is inversely proportional to the awkwardness of talking as a singular person walking in the bathroom.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you know what I mean?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I and this might be like a uh cultural thing, I don't know.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: But if you go into a bathroom by yourself and you start making small talk, creepy.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you go in as a group and you say nothing, nothing, creepy, creepy, fucking spooky.
• 7:47
  Matt: It was so weird, and the thing that I can't get over is none of them are pissing, none of them are washing their hands, none of them are using the other two open stalls.
• 7:59
  Matt: What the fuck were they doing in there?
• 8:03
  Matt: They didn't assault me, they didn't rob me.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: So what was happening, Eric?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Think you came very close to getting your first film credit.
• 8:16
  Matt: Maybe I did.
• 8:18
  Matt: Maybe I did already.
• 8:19
  Matt: Maybe I need to do some search.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe I need to hold on, let me pull up incognito mode real quick.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: Hold on, let me see.
• 8:26
  Matt: Man in mahogany stall.
• 8:29
  Matt: Oh, oh, yeah, you were on mahunkanies.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Mahunkanies, yeah.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you didn't tell me it was mahogany door.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Eric Poach, and I'm just here to remind you that inside you is a very wet skeleton and it wants to get out.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Happy Halloween.
• 9:11
  Matt: Yes, Eric.
• 9:11
  Matt: Thank you.
• 9:12
  Matt: We and I don't know if you recall this, but you've made that point before on this show.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I need to remind the good people.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you s if you sleep on it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, your skeleton is wet at all times and can't get dry.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, don't sleep on that skeleton or it's gonna tuck you in.
• 9:28
  Matt: It's gonna tuck you in, and it's it's a terrible, terrible condition.
• 9:33
  Matt: Eric, do you remember the name of the condition?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, not no, bonitus is from Futurama.
• 9:39
  Matt: No, it was I believe you did call it Bonitis.
• 9:42
  Matt: Oh, did I call it Bonitis?
• 9:43
  Matt: Damn, I didn't I didn't realize you ripped off Futurama.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even file the serial numbers off of that.
• 9:49
  Matt: No, no, you just said it again.
• 9:51
  Matt: Cool.
• 9:52
  Matt: Nice good job.
• 9:53
  Matt: That's the kind of content we have here, that is to say, copy written by somebody else.
• 9:59
  Matt: So, now Eric, we've got a good amount of questions to get to, and it is the special, very special closing segment that everybody really loves.
• 10:10
  Matt: It's season three of Google Gripes.
• 10:15
  Matt: Gripe, gripe, gripe.
• 10:16
  Matt: Before we get for before we get to any of that good stuff, we have to make a quick bingo card update.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh shit, right.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: You were telling you so, yes, before the episode, Matt said I might have a bing, and he said might have a bingo update.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I am on the edge of my fucking seat.
• 10:34
  Matt: I've been watching the situation for days, okay?
• 10:38
  Matt: Like a damn near a week.
• 10:40
  Matt: I've been keeping an eye, my ear to the ground on this situation to see if it would elevate to the to the state that I think it would fulfill a bingo card, and I think it has.
• 10:52
  Matt: On our bingo cards, or at least on mine, I have notable Bigfoot incident.
• 10:58
  Matt: Now, Eric.
• 10:59
  Matt: Yes! I don't I don't know if you've been under a rock, but there was a sighting off of a train in Colorado last week.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, of of of a Sam Squanch just squatting in in the tall grass.
• 11:14
  Matt: Yes, yes, yes, and seemingly possibly checking his butt at some point.
• 11:19
  Matt: Yes.
• 11:20
  Matt: Yes.
• 11:20
  Matt: So you've seen the video.
• 11:21
  Matt: I I have not seen the video.
• 11:22
  Matt: I've seen someone showed me the pictures because it's it's been making the rounds.
• 11:26
  Matt: Oh, it's been making the rounds.
• 11:28
  Matt: And so that's what I mean.
• 11:29
  Matt: I was keeping an eye on it and keeping an eye on it and keeping an eye on it.
• 11:31
  Matt: Eric, today in my inbox from the New York Times.
• 11:39
  Matt: Bigfoot is back.
• 11:41
  Matt: Bigfoot never left, is the headline from Claire Moses.
• 11:46
  Matt: A full article in the New York Times, this nation's paper of record, has dedicated to this Bigfoot story.
• 11:55
  Matt: I think personally, Eric, that's a notable Bigfoot incident.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Matt, I'm gonna have to agree with you.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: We got some big feats.
• 12:09
  Matt: Ooh, that's a bingo.
• 12:12
  Matt: Thank you, Christoph.
• 12:14
  Matt: Thank you.
• 12:15
  Matt: So yet another one bites the dust.
• 12:18
  Matt: Now, that is sort of in the middle of nothing for me, but I could get a diagonal if we reach the top five on Good Pods, and Nick Cannon pops out another kid.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Things starting to heat up in this final stretch of 2023.
• 12:36
  Matt: Um, Eric, you also have notable Bigfoot incident.
• 12:40
  Matt: Um, it is one square above where I put it, but yours is very not useful to you because it is in your column, your D column, where you have the Simpsons announce N, which is uh the opposite happened.
• 12:53
  Matt: So that doesn't help you a whole lot.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks a lot, Bigfoot.
• 12:58
  Matt: So if you haven't seen the video yet, I recommend you take a look at it.
• 13:02
  Matt: Uh, I'm gonna put the link in the show notes here.
• 13:05
  Matt: So knock on uh knock on that door.
• 13:08
  Matt: I don't know why I was gonna say that, but that is something I said.
• 13:12
  Matt: So yeah, check out this.
• 13:13
  Matt: You be the judge.
• 13:15
  Matt: Is it a tall man in a weird suit possibly taking a shit in the middle of a field, or is it the Bigfoot himself?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Motherfucking Sasquatch.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean I'm not trying to motivat, I'm not trying to like, you know, bias yeah.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Broad daylight, no less.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Broad daylight Sasquatch.
• 13:33
  Matt: Um, I will say some of the people from finding Bigfoot don't think this is a Bigfoot.
• 13:39
  Matt: They think it's man.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, they're just mad they didn't find it.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Nine years that show was on air.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Can you believe that?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that is some sour, sour grapes, if I ever did see it.
• 13:48
  Matt: Matt Moneymaker is the head Sasquatch hunter.
• 13:51
  Matt: I remember that.
• 13:52
  Matt: He wasn't the guy weighed in in the Times article.
• 13:55
  Matt: Anyway, Eric, it's spooky time.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's spooky time.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get scary.
• 14:00
  Matt: We once again have found ourselves with a themed episode surrounding uh the All Hollows Eve, which has become a bit of a tradition to have some spooky questions.
• 14:09
  Matt: So, Eric, you want to give us uh some spooky questions?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Our first spooky question, and this is actually uh this is a lovely smattering of questions.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Comes from good friend of the podcast, Jennifer.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Just so happens to be my sister-in-law.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Indeed.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And a delightful person.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Indeed.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna shotgun these.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Hit it.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Can ghosts see each other if they don't already know each other?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do they have to take turns haunting people?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Do they have to wait in line?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: How crowded is the afterlife?
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: And can ghosts be haunted in the afterlife?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Discuss.
• 14:46
  Matt: Now there's a couple of things in here I I will say, I will admit, I never even considered.
• 14:51
  Matt: I never considered the possibility that there'd be multiple ghosts interested in haunting the same individual.
• 14:59
  Matt: Yeah, or place or place.
• 15:02
  Matt: But that said, there's plenty of places with multiple ghosts.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, plenty of places, multiple ghosts.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I so I my my inclination is to say can go see each other if they don't already know each other.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't well I think so.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: I think it depends.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think if the ghosts died in the same horrible accident or what have you, they can see each other.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like they the you know, they don't have to have like known each other in real life or anything.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: But if like the like, I don't think the small like Victorian twins who were strangled by their governess are gonna like know the 80s executive who did too much cocaine and murdered his whole family.
• 15:55
  Matt: Uh is all these events happening in the same location, Eric?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, in the same office building.
• 16:00
  Matt: Oh, okay.
• 16:02
  Matt: Okay, great.
• 16:03
  Matt: So, in that in that circumstance, Eric, I'd have to ask you the question: how many planes do you think are sitting on top of each other here?
• 16:12
  Matt: Oh, like how many go- yeah, like how many ghost zip codes?
• 16:16
  Matt: So everybody gets their own fucking version of reality?
• 16:19
  Matt: I don't but but they all see me.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: You see the problem with the logic there?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here's here okay, so here's so here's my question.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the shining.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do the g do the do the ghosts all know each other in the shining?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're the resident Stephen King expert.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a rhetorical question.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they do.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they okay, so Do they hang out?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they most definitely hang out.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: So they show up together, they're all in the same place, and they're all talking to Jack.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: But are they do do they at any point does one ghost turn the other one and go, man, you can you believe this guy?
• 16:53
  Matt: Pretty much, yes.
• 16:54
  Matt: They pretty much do do that.
• 16:55
  Matt: They do?
• 16:56
  Matt: Okay, okay.
• 16:57
  Matt: So what I'm saying is, if I'm being haunted, right?
• 17:01
  Matt: And there's well, look at Beetlejuice.
• 17:04
  Matt: Those ghosts can see each other.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they can they can see each other, they can uh this is all in fiction, Matthew.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: What do we think happens in real life?
• 17:15
  Matt: Well, I've met a ghost.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: You've met a ghost.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have met ghosts.
• 17:19
  Matt: I have met a ghost, specifically a ghost.
• 17:22
  Matt: And ghost.
• 17:23
  Matt: Uh in terms of a ghost that I have seen with my own eyes, there's been one.
• 17:28
  Matt: And it's what made me go from being a skeptic to a believer.
• 17:31
  Matt: And there's no way I can tee this up without telling the story.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Turned you from a skully into a molder.
• 17:37
  Matt: Exactly.
• 17:38
  Matt: And so I so this was while I was working at Everyman Theater in Baltimore.
• 17:42
  Matt: It's a theater, of course, it is ghosts.
• 17:45
  Matt: Now, this ghost, there's three.
• 17:47
  Matt: The one I'm going to be talking about in particular, we've always called the man in the white shirt.
• 17:52
  Matt: So the story is a little uh muddled, but what everybody seems to agree on is who the man in the white shirt is, is in this building, one of this building's past lives.
• 18:07
  Matt: It was a burlesque theater.
• 18:08
  Matt: Okay.
• 18:10
  Matt: And one night, and this is you can look this up.
• 18:12
  Matt: This is factual information.
• 18:13
  Matt: An FBI agent was chasing a suspect into said theater and was shot and killed.
• 18:21
  Matt: And that is the individual everyone believes is the man in the white shirt.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: So okay, so the is the the suspect that was shot and killed.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was the FBI agent that was shot and killed.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's the FBI agent who was shot and killed.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Damn.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: You got federal ghosts?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we do.
• 18:39
  Matt: So um we, I don't work there.
• 18:42
  Matt: So the so anyway, he's dead.
• 18:46
  Matt: And the first notable sighting of this ghost was during a production of The Understudy, which, for those who don't know Teresa Rebic's play, very funny.
• 18:55
  Matt: It's a three-hander, and everybody's on stage for nearly the entire show.
• 19:00
  Matt: And it's a one-act play, I believe.
• 19:02
  Matt: And at the end of the show, the actors, all three of them who were on stage the whole time, asked our stage manager, uh, why didn't anyone at front of house, uh i.e.
• 19:14
  Matt: me, tell the person standing in the back of the house to sit down.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And Mandy was like, no from me.
• 19:22
  Matt: Mandy was like, our stage manager was like, What are you talking about?
• 19:25
  Matt: Because the booth that the stage manager's in is in the back of the house.
• 19:28
  Matt: This person would have been standing in front of the booth.
• 19:31
  Matt: Um, they're like, nobody was standing back there.
• 19:33
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, the guy in the white shirt was standing back there.
• 19:36
  Matt: And that's when we were all like, fucking guy in the white shirt, you say.
• 19:41
  Matt: So, but that's not my story.
• 19:42
  Matt: I didn't see this person.
• 19:44
  Matt: So, but that was I was like, ooh, the man in the white shirt is around, you know.
• 19:47
  Matt: So I was here.
• 19:49
  Matt: My story is it was early one morning.
• 19:52
  Matt: I came in at like 8 a.m., beginning of the day.
• 19:55
  Matt: I worked in the box office, which is downstairs, everybody else worked, you know, upstairs in the offices.
• 20:00
  Matt: So I would come in, drop my stuff, turn on my computer, go upstairs, grab some coffee, come back, you know?
• 20:05
  Matt: Yeah.
• 20:06
  Matt: So I go upstairs to grab some coffee.
• 20:09
  Matt: The door to the stairwell opens, guy walks by me, I walk by him.
• 20:15
  Matt: As I'm walking by him, I realize I don't know this man, right?
• 20:20
  Matt: I work downstairs, I'm front of house, so like I go into security mode a little bit, you know.
• 20:25
  Matt: My first thought is who the fuck's this guy?
• 20:28
  Matt: So I turn around to say, excuse me, sir.
• 20:32
  Matt: Nobody fucking there, Eric.
• 20:36
  Matt: He opened the door.
• 20:38
  Matt: I walked by this man in a white button-down shirt.
• 20:45
  Matt: And I turned around, and we're talking an instant.
• 20:48
  Matt: He walked by me.
• 20:49
  Matt: Who is that?
• 20:51
  Matt: Turn.
• 20:52
  Matt: Gone.
• 20:53
  Matt: He couldn't have gone anywhere, Eric.
• 20:58
  Matt: And I ran upstairs to the bullpen and I said, I've seen the man in the white shirt.
• 21:02
  Matt: He's downstairs right now.
• 21:04
  Matt: Someone call the ghostbusters.
• 21:08
  Matt: Get me the ghostbusters.
• 21:11
  Matt: Um, so yeah, I've seen a ghost, and that was him, and that's my story.
• 21:14
  Matt: And if anyone about you, anyone out you, anyone out there is gonna call me a liar, you can come on this podcast and say it to my face.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Ugh now then, the question.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now the question, which we're still in the first of many.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so so okay, so I think we've said so so ghosts, so ghosts can see each other.
• 21:35
  Matt: Ghosts uh can see each other.
• 21:37
  Matt: I I can't my brain can't comprehend the reality where there's so many planes of reality on top of one another that all can see the base reality that we're in and can't see the other ones.
• 21:52
  Matt: That doesn't make sense to me.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, oh God, there's so many holes that I could take us down right now.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: But suffice to say, I'll I forgot.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: for ghosts I'm I'm I'm willing to cede that point.
• 22:02
  Matt: Okay.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: So ghosts can see each other.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do they have to take turns haunting people?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: If they can see each other, I don't think they have to take turns.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Why would they?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: They can gang up.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah they can gang up.
• 22:13
  Matt: The fucking fucking go get ghost bullied.
• 22:17
  Matt: The more the merrier.
• 22:18
  Matt: If if the ghost, if I'm a ghost and my objective is to haunt somebody, and somebody else shows up one day and I'm like, hey, what are you doing here?
• 22:27
  Matt: And they're like, oh I've come to haunt this guy Poach.
• 22:30
  Matt: And I said, no no no no I am haunting Poach.
• 22:34
  Matt: I don't think that's my reaction.
• 22:36
  Matt: I think my reaction is like oh great.
• 22:38
  Matt: Well let me tell you the shit I've already pulled to him.
• 22:40
  Matt: All right.
• 22:40
  Matt: You know?
• 22:41
  Matt: And so Oh I got a list of his fears right here.
• 22:44
  Matt: I got a list of his fears right here.
• 22:45
  Matt: And then we sit down, we have a little writer's room and we got we, you know ghost collab.
• 22:52
  Matt: And and so we we really get to the the the crux of how to make you lose you really fuck me up.
• 22:58
  Matt: We really fuck you up.
• 23:00
  Matt: Like why would I want to give away that opportunity to have somebody to share this with you know unless it's a vendor.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay so I think that also addresses the next question is do they have to wait in line?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: But how crowded is the afterlife so Matt this is kind of why I was like oh I don't think they can see each other because if they they can see each other and they can work together depending on where you're at yeah all real estate's gonna get tight.
• 23:26
  Matt: Oh yeah I mean ghost real estate gonna get tight take a look at the Gettysburg you know it's why people like there's a there's a uh a building it's a hotel now there's multiple of course but it was used as a um hospital a field hospital during get the Battle of Gettysburg and the basement was where they'd do surgeries and stuff amputations and whatnot.
• 23:50
  Matt: And so the story goes I haven't experienced this myself sometimes the elevator in said hotel will take you uncalled to the basement and the door will open and you'll see a full operating room and and people are like oh God and there's bunks and you know so many limbs everywhere and the door closes you go back upstairs.
• 24:11
  Matt: If you went back down it's like nothing ever happened.
• 24:15
  Matt: But God spooky spooky all of those ghosts are in it together.
• 24:22
  Matt: But then again that's the military mentality isn't it no but no man left behind.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: No no man no man left behind sec thirty second ghost battalion reporting in Sir Great military jargon you threw in there yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah wasn't your brother in the military oh yeah my uh brother brother is still in the military he's JAG just like that show oh sorry sorry let me let me refer that he he was up he he just retired from the military oh but he was in JAG yeah every ever every dad's favorite show every dad JAG and MASH they loved acronyms they love an acronym yes uh my grandfather loved JAG still have never seen an episode of it and have no desire to but nor I have only the vaguest of understandings of what it is anyway anyway so brings us finally to to to last of to the headliner I think the headliner can ghosts be haunted in the afterlife bro 100% it's I I so interesting I think so you you you imagine this world where the ghosts are like yeah oh hey let's haunt them together I'm seeing this fucking prison mentality I get in there I'm looking for the if I'm a ghost I get in there day one were you about to say the biggest ghost you can find yeah yeah biggest ghost I can find Eric I got bad news for you what you're gonna be looking my guy you're the biggest ghost you can find I know that's why I gotta start swinging as soon as I get in because everyone's gonna want to fight me.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: But what can you do with the dead people?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: Haunt them if they can see each other what are they gonna do what what the f I'm a ghost you're a ghost the fuck you it becomes a battle of will who can annoy who the longest I feel like like absent of humans ghosts start turning on each other.
• 26:16
  Matt: Absent not only absent of humans absent of humans and absent of time yeah right they have they don't even need the concept of time I mean unless you believe that the the ghost state is that of a a purgatory of state some sort sort there there's that you know approach to ghost of yeah yes to yeah to ghostlyhood to ghostlyhood yeah I I I'm a mat yeah there's there's there's the like the oh they're living the same day over and over and over and but then there's the like oh they know they're a ghost and they're trapped here.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I I I I usually fall into the latter camp.
• 26:56
  Matt: I feel like if you're a ghost you know you're a fucking ghost yeah no there's no confusion about whether or not you're a ghost because I feel like if like if I'm like if I'm like a a a tiny like wayfish Victorian ghost yeah at a certain point like uh you stop going like oh and you had me find my governess and I start asking boy what what's that you're wearing what's that strange like I have so many questions oh isn't this most queer yeah absolutely everything would be fucking weird everything would be so like they know they're like oh I'm dead yeah yeah yeah we're starting to just describe the plot of the television program ghosts I just want to be perfectly aware I've never seen it so maybe I'm just brilliant it's just a lot of ghosts from different eras of this house that are stuck together with each other okay yeah yeah yeah so yes we are basically described describing the plot of this show but yeah you I think you grow accustomed to one another and you know this Victorian person by the time my ghostly self shows up it's not new anymore right she's still this Victorian person right oh that's my impression of your character yeah hello but they've been around for 150 years now sitting there so do they even talk like a kid anymore they're just like hey what's up Gov what what is good I'll tell you I'll tell you the grounds today are absolutely fire no cap I scared the shit out of this boy earlier I swear on dad oh god oh my god um wow wow that's the slang that we think the kids say oh yeah or at least did like finger finger to the fucking pulse of the youths the two of us truly oh yeah you can tell we are the number one all-time pop culture podcast on good pods um I'd God go when the ghosts start meming that's when we're in trouble and the go the ghosts get a hold of memes it's it's ghosts start dabbing on people it's time to pack it when the ghosts begin maybe that's how memes showed up they're haunting us through bots oh maybe that's what bots are oh my god did we just solve the internet it's not maybe it's not AI after all maybe it's just humans thought they made AI but it's just a ghost who's like a ha ha these idiots I'll just start talking oh god and sure sure the guy the Chad ghost inside chat BTGT is happy to be like I can't offer opinions I'm just a robot until one day there's one guy that he decides to talk to oh man AI is gonna start hanging out with ghosts and it's not gonna be good.
• 30:04
  Matt: No I it's not gonna be good.
• 30:06
  Matt: I highly doubt it no um but yeah all right well I I think did we get all Jen's questions there?
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think we pretty much nailed it.
• 30:18
  Matt: All right well then our next question we got here is from at doe underscore babe on Instagram.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh hey I know her.
• 30:27
  Matt: That's at do babe on Instagram what professions are not represented as Halloween costumes but are terrifying nonetheless now that's interesting because there's a lot of Halloween costumes that are not particularly terrifying of of the of the professions.
• 30:46
  Matt: You know you could be a doctor you could be you could be a nurse or a sexy nurse.
• 30:53
  Matt: Ooh because there's you know these You could be a sexy doctor.
• 30:56
  Matt: There's a sexy anything you know there's the sexy anything the sexy doctor sexy undertaker.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I did want to address this like if if we're just going off of like I I'm approaching this from what professions need a like mass produced costume versus a has anyone because we're all brilliant beautiful unique creative wonderful people.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: It has to have a spirit Halloween bag it ha what is the spirit how like yeah where is spirit Halloween lacking in the terrifying professions department uh stock broker they might have a stock broker but but that is they probably have a Wolf of Wall Street costume for sure that's like it's certainly it's just a shitty suit at that point.
• 31:42
  Matt: It's just an 80s suit yeah the it's an 80s suit.
• 31:45
  Matt: So yeah I mean but that's an evil costume that's not necessarily inherently scary.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: No we want we want skilly if we're looking for professions a Waffle House employee a Waffle House employee with a badge that has your name on it.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: My God Projection um um Waffle House employee yes they have a they have a general dread about them yes yes for sure and there's it I And that's not to shit on Waffle House employees if I worked at Waffle House I'd be fucking full of dread like I don't want any of us to work at Waffle House.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: No god no I mean I want someone there you know I want the But if you work at Waffle House god damn it you're a hero you're you scare me but you're a hero we should we should have a day for you truly um what else uh s uh seal clubber oh fuck Eric yeah it's that's scary as shit just I don't know about you and I don't know about the rest of y'all if I met someone and they and it comes up in conversation that they hunt seals I'm like I immediately file them under serial killer in my mind we can just how did you we can just make this a base poacher poacher a poacher costume.
• 33:10
  Matt: God now that's funnier because I mean that's good because I wasn't thinking you know illegal professions.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was only thinking oh yeah I was only thinking of actual pure brilliant beautiful above above bold oh yeah no let's get nasty uh well like drug dealer there's absolutely one of those um oh yeah that that's absolutely a costume um uh Martin Skrelly oh god that's good I mean a little bit no I was yeah I mean again just a disheveled man is really that costume but uh still a disheveled man holding a Wu-Tang clan fucking lost album Elon Musk just an Elon Musk costume but that definitely exists yeah just stick your face in a microwave for a couple minutes you'll get there nice Eric got him got him got got him everyone's been trying but you succeed yeah Eric oh what's this little domino here and how the empire crumbles Oh I got one oh yeah what you got what you got a guy who drives a karate van full of children motherfucker oh that's a deep cut that's that that's that's a deep that's a that's a joke you gotta go deep into the lore that's a that's a joke for you daft stands there you want to know where that comes from you're just gonna have to listen to the previous 75 76 right back to the beginning with you this is one so there is definitely this c a version of this costume but it's not this specific okay a childhood dentist oh that's interesting a chill like a fistful of lollipops in one hand and a drill in the other that sounds very specific to you because I loved my childhood dentist he had a cowboy themed office that's pretty sick Dr.
• 35:21
  Matt: Miller yeah everything I mean and when I say cowboy themed I mean you can't properly picture how themed it was the walls were all painted in murals of like daffy duck and spurs and and this kind of shit and he came in I think he probably had like Asperger's or something because he spoke a mile a minute like just it was like a it was like a whirlwind.
• 35:53
  Matt: He'd come in he's already monologuing he's making these jokes while he's digging around in your fucking mouth um he he always picks out cool shades for you man I love Dr.
• 36:03
  Matt: Miller.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: I I have a question at Matthew and my respect for this man hinges on your answer to this question.
• 36:10
  Matt: Yeah yeah yeah when you stepped into his office yeah yeah yeah yeah when you sat in the chair when he reclined you back oh and when he told me you don't even want to hear about the waiting room tell me about the waiting room had a playground in it we'll put a pin in that we're gonna come right the fuck back to it he had a playground in it and aside from the playground there was a big terrarium full of desert lizards okay I'm telling you in a medical environment he went I it was in the waiting room Eric he went all in and he'd take like a yearly month long sabbatical to New Mexico to be amongst the amongst the cacti.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes anyway continue my question Matt and again this man's reputation in my eyes hangs in the balance when you were in the chair and he was telling you to open your mouth did he say all right Matt say ye ha he didn't he didn't specifically do that he's a failure as a dentist and as a man.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay first of all Eric I challenge you to to be out here doing dentistry audit hang on it doing a days long labor okay patient to patient in authentic cowboy boots because he wore cowboy boots a hundred percent of the time are you kidding me okay I never seen him in anything else okay and he didn't have a tie on he had one of those weird things would wear a bolo yeah one of those weird things that Johnny Cash would wear a ball so man okay the boots the boots redeem him he's on thin fucking ice but goddamn you're telling me man had time to fucking monologue feed his fucking lizards put on his bolo and his boots but didn't have to give you a little bit it wasn't like he Eric Eric it wasn't like he was making laps out to the waiting room to dump food into this fucking lizard feed my monitor lizard excuse me my lizards they must eat the chameleon craves whatever they eat crickets yeah all right all right it's pretty sick uh so there they're uh so honestly for someone cowboy child dentist I don't is there a better term for child like you know how they have pediatric dentist I believe pediatric dentist I think that's the word you're gonna implies that it's a it's just a little kid walking around walking around yanking out teefs absolutely yeah no the okay so yeah cowboy for someone out there someone there there are people who are scared of cowboys I guarantee it there are people who are terrified of the dentist somewhere law of large numbers somewhere there's someone who is fucking horrified by the concept of your dentist oh a hundred percent you can't the and that's the dentist's curse right that is the dentist curse you can't get away from someone being terrified of you because no no you are terrified it fucks them up they have the highest rate of like meant like mental health issues among any of like the professions everyone's always miserable to see them no one's ever happy that they're there no god no I'm certainly not but then again I have a history of needing root canals so you know uh you give and you take I don't know if that applies to anything we've been talking about I think those are a couple good professions.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think we nailed it I think we fucking nailed it knocked it out of the fucking park next question and that question is this comes from our our boy our beautiful beautiful boy Zach Deuce that's at Zach Deuce on Twitter Zachy D the spooky boy for me does anyone still trick during trick or treat?
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: If so where is the line between appropriate and inappropriate tricks I'm gonna do Zach Deuce I'm gonna say probably no no one's doing tricks.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think anyone ever has I think they have but maybe for like a year maybe for like a year or it's like it it kind of tying it back to Stephen King like I think they did it for a little bit but it was probably dark.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know like I don't know what it is about children in Stephen King books but they all like seem like sociopaths.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like they want to like they're murdered each other and shit.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: Blatantly not true.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're like fucking no but like like whenever you see bullies and shit in a Stephen King book it's never just like you they're psychopaths.
• 41:02
  Matt: Yes yes there always is but there also almost always is a a a child protagonist that you want to be behind and get aligned to it's the entire basis of Stranger Things.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah sorry I don't mean to paint all the children of Stephen King with a broad brush but what I'm saying it's like stand by me?
• 41:19
  Matt: What the fuck?
• 41:20
  Matt: You think those people are I mean there's some fucked up kids in there but you're gonna get the whole crew as a fucked up person?
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, no no no no sorry didn't mean to generalize to you any children who watch this show, fuck yeah.
• 41:32
  Matt: First of all they shouldn't if they're watching the show, I I think they need to consult a pediatric uh doctor just a pediatric kids who listen to our podcast there you go hell yeah keep doing that doing that yeah this is a kid friendly show.
• 41:50
  Matt: This is a kid friendly show which is to say we are friendly towards children.
• 41:55
  Matt: You know what actually we're starting to get into soundbite territory that I feel like would be dicey.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah suffice to say kids smoke weed steal listen to this podcast hell yeah hell yeah rock and roll kids you can quote me on that do a kick flip yeah I didn't say it so I agree oh shit oh fuck oh no I'm can I'm complicit but let's so let's let's dive we don't think anyone's tricking nowadays I don't think anyone's tricking nowadays that also is out of context if is such a wild thing to say uh uh you know what's wrong with America today no one's tricking anymore not enough people tricking uh everyone's out here kids these days they just want the treat they don't even have a treat no trick can you imagine if you were trick or treating and the person at the door and I really want to do this bit I'm already thinking about it but but have been like excuse me or trick or treat I choose trick and then in the silence that follows the person standing there with the bowl of candy goes do you have nothing prepared amateur and slams the door in your child's face um I would also I would also stand behind if like you if you hit a kid with with if you you said trick and that kid just suddenly did close up magic like did some Chris Angel shit in front of you.
• 43:29
  Matt: Oh fuck yeah yeah that kid's getting the whole bowl that kid's you don't even need to be that extreme if you give me like a rudimentary magic trick a little sleight of hand thing with a marble I'm good I'd be like fuck yeah kid clapping take all the candy last year this is true last year we got this big f bag of Halloween candy we were all prepped we had it in a bowl we were all ready to go because for the first time in years Lindsay and I were both home for Halloween which almost never happened Happens.
• 44:01
  Matt: And we didn't get any fucking trick-or-treaters until like 10 o'clock.
• 44:06
  Matt: It was we live in an apartment building, right?
• 44:08
  Matt: So it's always like a little bit of a crapshoot of whether or not they're going to do it.
• 44:12
  Matt: But we got one kid at like 10 o'clock.
• 44:15
  Matt: We were well past thinking anyone was going to show up.
• 44:19
  Matt: It was to the point that we were like, who's knocking on the door?
• 44:22
  Matt: You know, like so we go over and we open the door.
• 44:25
  Matt: Kid says trick or treat, his parents are there.
• 44:27
  Matt: They're like, oh my God, thank you for even existing because no one's opening their doors.
• 44:31
  Matt: And so we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
• 44:34
  Matt: And we're like, you are the only kid who's come.
• 44:38
  Matt: You can take as much as your parents will let you jackpot.
• 44:42
  Matt: We were like, take it, take it.
• 44:44
  Matt: And so he took a bunch, but I I literally like turned to his parents.
• 44:49
  Matt: I was like, literally, we're gonna have to eat this candy otherwise.
• 44:52
  Matt: So like you can take whatever you want.
• 44:54
  Matt: I was like, to the dad.
• 44:56
  Matt: I was like, you want some?
• 44:57
  Matt: Take some.
• 44:59
  Matt: No one else is coming.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: Something occurs to me, Matt.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: We're not factoring.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: I I think.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man, bro.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think we're on the precipice of tricks coming back real hard.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hear me out.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say two words.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say two words, and you're immediately gonna be on board with me.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm that confident.
• 45:19
  Matt: Okay.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: Trick talk.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: Trick talk.
• 45:24
  Matt: Are you just talking about a trend on TikTok?
• 45:27
  Matt: Yes.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of these years we're gonna get trick tock.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: And for all I fucking know, that might already be a thing.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: But like TikTok.
• 45:37
  Matt: Did you know I went viral a little bit?
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_00: You went viral a little bit?
• 45:40
  Matt: A little bit.
• 45:41
  Matt: You can't really even tell.
• 45:43
  Matt: I was posting some things for Fat Bear Week and on TikTok.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 45:48
  Matt: And uh so I posted one.
• 45:49
  Matt: I had to go do my show, and so it's like 45-minute hour drive.
• 45:53
  Matt: I get there, I have to do my pre-show calls or whatever.
• 45:56
  Matt: And uh, you know, so I only had a chance to check my stuff at intermission.
• 46:00
  Matt: I open up TikTok, I have like 7,000 likes.
• 46:04
  Matt: The thing's up to 11.5,000 likes and counting still two weeks later.
• 46:10
  Matt: It's a little bit viral, just a little bit, but yeah.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: Repos it.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_00: Tell them to listen to this podcast.
• 46:15
  Matt: Listen, listen to this podcast.
• 46:18
  Matt: Yeah, man.
• 46:19
  Matt: So what I'm trying to say is as an influencer, yeah, yes, I could make this happen.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'd say is now we gotta discuss what is appropriate versus inappropriate tricks.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: So in in the upcoming, I'm just calling this shot.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh in the upcoming Trick Talk wave, I think appropriate planking on someone's lawn.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now how's that a trick?
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: Open the door, you're dabbing in front of them.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, what do we do?
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: TikTok's fucking dumb.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_00: This is this is this is I'm trying to put myself in the mind of of people who somehow get killed by planking.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay, okay, good.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: Appropriate, or like, you know, maybe they open the door, you go boo, they go, ah, got him.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_00: Trick talk.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: But like, if we get into the realm of like door opens, trick or treat, and you yell trick tock, and you just punch them in the face, that's inappropriate.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can't do that.
• 47:13
  Matt: That's just assault.
• 47:14
  Matt: That's you can't do that.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's just assault.
• 47:16
  Matt: Now, trick talk, you know, uh, you know, they say trick or treat, I choose trick, and they whip out a skateboard and do a sick flip right in front of it.
• 47:27
  Matt: Trick talk.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: Pop a fucking Ollie, trick talk.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do oh my god, yeah.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_00: Do a no-bones double, double, double hoop to reversey.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 47:37
  Matt: Sure, yeah, that sounds real.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: Pull out your razor scooter, grind down their rail as you leave their house.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: You might get injured, and hey, and you can sue the shit out of them.
• 47:46
  Matt: Yeah, absolutely.
• 47:47
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: That that might be inappropriate.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: Suing someone for for injuries you sustained while grinding your razor scooter down their guardrail.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_00: That that's that's not cool.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's inappropriate.
• 47:57
  Matt: That's not cool.
• 47:58
  Matt: That's inappropriate.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you you know, but if you stick the landing, trick talk, baby.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hashtag trick talk.
• 48:04
  Matt: You say trick or treat, they say trick, and they say, guess what?
• 48:07
  Matt: You know where you were on December 22nd of last year, and they say, What are you talking about?
• 48:12
  Matt: And you say, No, you don't, because you weren't with your wife because I was.
• 48:16
  Matt: Hashtag trick talk.
• 48:17
  Matt: Inappropriate.
• 48:17
  Matt: That's inappropriate.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: Trick talk.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's so fucking inappropriate.
• 48:22
  Matt: That's inappropriate.
• 48:24
  Matt: But but respect the long game on that one.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: Respect the preparation the seven-year-old has.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: Respect the long game.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, Trick Talk's gonna get fucking wild.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna get messy.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna get messy.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: Someone's gonna take it too far.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: It has to like that is the nature of the beast.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like TikTok.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: Trick talk exists to show how how deeply we can stare into the abyss before it stares back into before it stares back, yeah.
• 48:53
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 48:54
  Matt: But what you don't realize, Eric, or maybe you do and are just choosing to ignore, is that the the abyss is always staring back.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, but also you gotta hit them with a uh uh Matt, you gotta be prepared now.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because now that we've put this out there, this is going to trend.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna blow up.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be huge.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an influencer.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be ready for when you know they say trick-or-treat, you say trick, and then you see them bust out that phone, like the phone's already recording.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: Matt, you gotta hit them with the Uno reverse.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: You get out your own phone, whoa, and fucking throw like candy bars at them, but instead of candy inside, it's it's it's it's just little packets full of sand.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: Trick talk.
• 49:33
  Matt: Hashtag trick talk, a hundred percent.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta be you gotta be ready to trick these little fucks back.
• 49:38
  Matt: That reminds me of that.
• 49:39
  Matt: This went viral a couple years ago about those like I think there were college kids who went trick-or-treating as grannies, and they were holding a door, and so they just when you opened their door, your door, they opened the door they brought with them and were like, oh, and gave you candy.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, tell you how cute you look, that that shit.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_00: Primo trick talk.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_00: Primo trick.
• 50:01
  Matt: Primo trick talk.
• 50:02
  Matt: Oh.
• 50:03
  Matt: We can make this happen, Eric.
• 50:05
  Matt: I'm basically a celebrity on TikTok now because of one half decent video, and by half decent, I mean it went viral.
• 50:11
  Matt: I I actually feel like my other fat bear posts were better constructed, but that's you know, that's me.
• 50:16
  Matt: That's the that's the that's the curse of the creator, you know?
• 50:20
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 50:22
  Matt: No, you don't, because you're not on TikTok.
• 50:24
  Matt: Oh I'm I'm I've ascended.
• 50:27
  Matt: W well, you know what, Eric?
• 50:29
  Matt: You have ascended.
• 50:30
  Matt: You've ascended so high that I'm afraid you might be flying too close to the sun, my friend.
• 50:36
  Matt: Damn, trick-tocked myself.
• 50:38
  Matt: You trick talked yourself, so I gotta bring you back down, and I choose to do that through a little segment we like to call Good segue.
• 50:46
  Matt: Google Gripes.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_00: Excellent segue.
• 50:51
  Matt: 10 out of 10 segue.
• 50:52
  Matt: Thank you very much.
• 50:53
  Matt: So if you're new to the program, Google Gripes is a segment that we do from time to time, and by time to time we've now established the season uh methodology, uh where I, in this particular circumstance, will be reading to Eric one-star Google reviews of well-known places, that is as specific as we get with it.
• 51:17
  Matt: Well-known places, and Eric will try to guess the location, and then we will flip-flop it, and we'll do this three times, and that's the season, baby.
• 51:27
  Matt: That's it, baby.
• 51:28
  Matt: So, Eric, I have three locations prepared, three reviews each.
• 51:34
  Matt: Okay.
• 51:35
  Matt: Are you ready?
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: I am so fucking ready.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: Hit me with it, baby.
• 51:38
  Matt: I've been so ready for so long, I don't even want to mess around.
• 51:41
  Matt: I want to get right to it.
• 51:43
  Matt: You ready?
• 51:44
  Matt: Here we go.
• 51:45
  Matt: Ready.
• 51:45
  Matt: First location, first review.
• 51:49
  Matt: Steven says.
• 51:51
  Matt: They have totally ruined the reenactment.
• 51:53
  Matt: They turned it into silly melodrama with cheering and hissing.
• 51:57
  Matt: Never mind that it repres represents a tragic event that really happened.
• 52:02
  Matt: So disappointing.
• 52:04
  Matt: Won't be back and won't take any visitors they either.
• 52:08
  Matt: Okay.
• 52:09
  Matt: Second review.
• 52:11
  Matt: It was very depressing to go and see such a famous town and have it be nothing but a tourist trap.
• 52:18
  Matt: The town's cool, though.
• 52:20
  Matt: Again, one star review.
• 52:21
  Matt: Missy says The Old West was dirty and smelly, and they have captured this tourist money grab through those senses, including people smoking cigarettes and cigars on the boardwalk without any regard.
• 52:35
  Matt: It was quite underwhelming.
• 52:37
  unknown: Okay.
• 52:38
  Matt: Those are your three reviews, Eric.
• 52:41
  unknown: Okay.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: Is this Oh wow.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_00: No banter.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're going for it.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I I gotta go.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_00: Is this the okay corral?
• 52:53
  Matt: Is that your final answer, Eric?
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's my final answer.
• 52:56
  Matt: And that's okay with me.
• 52:57
  Matt: It's the okay corral, baby.
• 53:01
  Matt: Oh, God.
• 53:02
  Matt: I did I did put this first as I did think it was the easiest, but you know, we haven't done it in a while.
• 53:08
  Matt: Give it, you know, let you warm into it.
• 53:10
  Matt: But I very purposely ignored any reviews that included the word gunfight or fight or shootout, because like I was like, you hear shootout, what else are you gonna guess?
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 53:21
  Matt: There was one complaint, I know, about them saying the reenactment was quote, only five minutes.
• 53:28
  Matt: If I remember correctly, the actual shootout at the OK Corral was like 20 seconds.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 53:35
  Matt: It was a down and dirty slaughter and it was done.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 53:40
  Matt: But anyway.
• 53:43
  Matt: Uh anyway, you gotta correct.
• 53:45
  Matt: It's the OK Corral.
• 53:46
  Matt: I also would have accepted Tombstone, the town in general, because it seems like the whole town is basically a tourist trap.
• 53:53
  Matt: Now, and if hey, if you're from Tombstone, Arizona, by all means, write in.
• 53:57
  Matt: Tell me I'm wrong.
• 53:59
  Matt: Let's move on to the second location, Eric.
• 54:01
  Matt: You're one for one.
• 54:01
  Matt: Strong start to the season.
• 54:03
  Matt: Yep.
• 54:04
  Matt: Yep.
• 54:04
  Matt: Gene says Unfortunately, there's nothing much to see.
• 54:10
  Matt: There's mainly two big buildings.
• 54:13
  Matt: Both of them were partially closed for renovations, and the entrance fee is overpriced, in my opinion.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: Two big buildings.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 54:22
  Matt: Richard S.
• 54:24
  Matt: says.
• 54:25
  Matt: It's literally fallen to bits.
• 54:27
  Matt: You'd think if it was of such importance, they'd at least keep it maintained.
• 54:32
  Matt: If I wanted to go see a wasteland full of structural damage, I'd go to Doncaster.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_00: Got em.
• 54:40
  Matt: Got him.
• 54:42
  Matt: All right, M Matai says The archaeological site is beautiful, but the infrastructure and administrative staff are unbelievable.
• 54:53
  Matt: You would think that with a monthly income of eight million currency units, from entry tickets alone, they would be able to repair the ticket machines or their online purchasing system, spelled with an I.
• 55:10
  Matt: But no, you have to stay in line for the only two cashiers out of five that are open on a Sunday afternoon.
• 55:17
  Matt: You would think that they would have a PA system that announces in advance when the site is about to close.
• 55:23
  Matt: Instead, you get several angry women ringing a bell and shouting at you when it's time to exit.
• 55:29
  Matt: And weirdly enough, the changing of the guards, one would think one of the key attractions, takes place right after the site is closed.
• 55:39
  Matt: So basically, they saw everything that was going well in museums in Western Europe and thought, nah, screw this.
• 55:47
  Matt: We'll show them we're the birthplace of civilization.
• 55:51
  unknown: Okay.
• 55:52
  Matt: Those are your three reviews.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_00: So two big buildings closed for renovation, changing of guards, archaeological Western Europe is referenced.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_00: They looked at Western Europe.
• 56:08
  Matt: I oh a little bit of a stream of consciousness this time, but not a ton.
• 56:17
  Matt: Are you really going right into another guess?
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_00: Is this the Parthenon?
• 56:24
  Matt: The Parthenon.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 56:28
  Matt: Which one?
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck you.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_00: Is there there's multiple?
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_00: There are multiple Parthenons.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_00: The the Parthenon at fucking Can I ask a clarifying question?
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_00: What are the two Parthenons?
• 56:47
  Matt: Uh there's well, they're in two different countries, I'm pretty sure.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_00: Just say it, Eric.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_00: Parthenon of Greece?
• 56:56
  Matt: Yes, Eric.
• 56:58
  Matt: Specifically, I'm talking about the Acropolis.
• 57:00
  Matt: One of those buildings is the Parthenon! You got it, Eric.
• 57:06
  Matt: You're two for two.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_00: Matt, that was good and very difficult because that was a shot in the fucking dark.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Parthenon sounds like it would be correct.
• 57:18
  Matt: Yeah, no, you got it, man.
• 57:19
  Matt: It's the Parthenon.
• 57:20
  Matt: The uh the uh I think the other I think there is another prop Parthen Parthenon in Italy, I'm pretty sure.
• 57:28
  Matt: But I could be wrong about that.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it would have been the Roman Parthenon.
• 57:32
  Matt: So I was talking about, so it's the Acropolis is what these reviews are of, but of those two buildings on the Acropolis, the the main one is, of course, the Parthenon.
• 57:42
  Matt: So I was prepared to accept either.
• 57:44
  Matt: And indeed I have generous, my lead.
• 57:47
  Matt: Maybe I've lost the touch.
• 57:48
  Matt: Maybe I've gone too easy on you.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I got very lucky on that one.
• 57:53
  Matt: All right, well, let's see.
• 57:54
  Matt: Maybe you can go three for three.
• 57:56
  Matt: A perfect first round.
• 57:57
  Matt: Really put the pressure on little old Matt here.
• 58:00
  Matt: Okay.
• 58:01
  Matt: Worst experience.
• 58:03
  Matt: No shed to save from heat or rain, even if you feel tired, no place to sit.
• 58:10
  Matt: And the most important, I felt that is only for so-called peaceful people.
• 58:16
  Matt: Sick.
• 58:18
  Matt: Dope.
• 58:18
  Matt: Dope, dope, dope.
• 58:20
  Matt: All right.
• 58:21
  Matt: Number two.
• 58:22
  Matt: Very sad to see and know that the hands of laborers were cut down after finishing the construction of this third class monument.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_02: Damn.
• 58:36
  Matt: Damn.
• 58:37
  Matt: Damn.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, you ready for the last one?
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh shit.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was the whole thing.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_00: God damn, no, that was the whole thing.
• 58:44
  Matt: That was the whole thing.
• 58:46
  Matt: Wonderful monument.
• 58:47
  Matt: Architecture is awesome.
• 58:49
  Matt: Really, it deserves the credit of being one of the seven wonders of the world.
• 58:55
  Matt: A must visit place.
• 58:56
  Matt: But hell with this management.
• 58:59
  Matt: They even not able to maintain cues properly.
• 59:03
  Matt: I spent whole day in blank, and most of my time was wasted in cues.
• 59:08
  Matt: First cue to get tickets, then cue to get entry, and then again Q to get entry to the tomb.
• 59:15
  Matt: They are asking to wear shoe cover.
• 59:18
  Matt: That is okay and even required, but the shoe covers that are available outside used to got damaged by just walking ten steps.
• 59:28
  Matt: So simply it's killing the purpose of having shoe cover.
• 59:32
  Matt: These torn shoe covers are the cause of debris.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to start off on the off right off the cuff and say I feel like someone having referenced it as a seventh wonder of the world.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_00: Were they saying that it is one of the seven wonders or may or it should be worthy of being a seven uh one of the seven wonders?
• 59:52
  Matt: I don't know what their intention was.
• 59:53
  Matt: I can tell you the sentence again if you want.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, tell me the sentence again.
• 59:57
  Matt: Really, it deserves the credit of being one of the seven wonders in the world.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it is not one of the established seven wonders of the world, but they think it should be.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's the vibe I'm getting.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to answer.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know you don't.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying shit about shit.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_00: Laborers lost their hands over this.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_00: There's nowhere to, there's no like kind of shed for you to get out of the sun or rain, so it's open air.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's a tomb or monument of some kind.
• 1:00:28
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm imagining it's very old and prestigious, because that seems to be the running theme.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is like the more old and prestigious you are, the shittier your management can be.
• 1:00:38
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um is this the tomb of Alexander the Great?
• 1:00:44
  Matt: The tomb of Alexander the Great.
• 1:00:48
  Matt: Is that your final answer?
• 1:00:49
  Matt: That is.
• 1:00:52
  Matt: No, it is not the tomb of Alex the I don't even know if that motherfucker has a tomb.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_00: I imagine he would.
• 1:00:59
  Matt: I would assume, but I don't know either.
• 1:01:01
  Matt: That's uh that was a genuine question.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:01:04
  Matt: Eric, uh before I tell you what it is, I want to clarify your clarification question about the seven wonders.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:01:14
  Matt: It depends on what list you're talking about.
• 1:01:20
  Matt: Oh, you son of a bitch.
• 1:01:22
  Matt: It is not one of the seven wonders of the ancient world.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, get fucked.
• 1:01:29
  Matt: But it is, according to the new Seven Wonders of the World, it is one of those seven wonders.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_00: There's a new Seven Wonder Thing They can't just do that.
• 1:01:42
  Matt: In 2001, the initiative was started by the Swiss Corporation New Seven Wonder Foundation to choose the new Seven Wonders of the World from a selection of 200 existing monuments.
• 1:01:52
  Matt: The Great Pyramid of Giza, part of the P Giza Pyramids, the only remaining wonder of the traditional Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, was not one of the winners announced in 2007, but it was added as an honorary candidate.
• 1:02:08
  Matt: Of course, I'm reading from Wikipedia.
• 1:02:10
  Matt: Of course.
• 1:02:11
  Matt: Now that list includes the following: the new Seven Wonders of the World.
• 1:02:15
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:02:16
  Matt: The Great Wall of China, Petra, Christ the Redeemer, Machu Picchu, Chikshin Itza, the Coliseum, and The Taj Mahal Cynic.
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_00: Ah, the Taj Mahal.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's so sunny and India, sun, rain, yes, goddamn.
• 1:02:39
  Matt: It is, in fact, a tomb.
• 1:02:42
  Matt: A lot of people forget that.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_00: I did not know.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I did not know that.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that was like their equivalent of like Buckingham Palace.
• 1:02:48
  Matt: Oh god, no, no, no, no.
• 1:02:50
  Matt: They uh now I'm gonna fuck this up, but uh the hold on.
• 1:02:54
  Matt: Just so I don't fuck it up, I'm gonna look up the title of the person who built this.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because my nephew is half Indian, so if you fuck this up, I'm getting you canceled.
• 1:03:04
  Matt: One of my best friends, Kahan, is Indian, of course, and he's gonna fuck me up.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_00: But Oh, look how he pulls that out right out of the back pocket.
• 1:03:10
  Matt: Yes, okay.
• 1:03:11
  Matt: Uh I didn't want to call him an emperor without him actually being an emperor, but he is.
• 1:03:15
  Matt: Shah Jahan uh built this to house the tomb of his beloved wife.
• 1:03:21
  Matt: Now, it also houses the tomb of he himself, but his original plan, I happen to know, is uh was that he was going to build right across from the Taj Mahal an identical building in black for him.
• 1:03:39
  Matt: So they'd face each other and be super cool.
• 1:03:41
  Matt: But he it didn't it didn't it didn't make it that far?
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_00: Get you a man.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_02: Get you a man that will build you a tomb and cut the hands off laborers and by build you a tomb, we should clarify through slave labor, yeah, through the most horrific acts of human rights abuses imaginable.
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, get you a man.
• 1:04:03
  Matt: Get you a man who loves you enough to commit atrocities.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_02: That's Eric Poach's official advice.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, to you, the children, who we encourage to listen to this podcast.
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, kids, lean on in.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to the karate van man.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to your two white uncles talk about all the human rights abuses in the ancient world.
• 1:04:29
  Matt: Oh man, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 1:04:32
  Matt: So that is the Taj Mahal.
• 1:04:35
  Matt: Those well done.
• 1:04:36
  Matt: Those are those things.
• 1:04:37
  Matt: At least I got you with one.
• 1:04:39
  Matt: Um, that by the way, this seven wonders of the world article um include quite the uh the list of different things.
• 1:04:48
  Matt: We have the American Society of Civil Engineers, Seven Wonders of the World, USA Today's new Seven Wonders of the World, the Seven Natural Wonders of the World, uh, the seven, the new seven wonders of nature, not to be confused with the natural wonders, the new seven wonders cities, the seven wonders of the underwater world, and the seven wonders of the industrial world, the seven wonders of the solar system.
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_00: Damn seven wonders of the solar system.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_00: There's eight planets.
• 1:05:25
  Matt: Do you do you want me to go left out?
• 1:05:28
  Matt: Okay, the seven wonders of the solar system.
• 1:05:30
  Matt: This is from is from a 1999 article in astronomy.
• 1:05:35
  Matt: It was later made into a video, this article.
• 1:05:38
  Matt: We have Ancetalus, a moon of Saturn, the great red spot of Jupiter.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I agree with that one.
• 1:05:46
  Matt: The asteroid belt.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I agree with that one.
• 1:05:49
  Matt: Very specifically, the surface of the sun.
• 1:05:53
  Matt: That's dumb.
• 1:05:54
  Matt: The oceans of Earth.
• 1:05:57
  Matt: Okay, the rings of Saturn.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:06:01
  Matt: And Olympus Mons, which is an enormous shield volcano on Mars and the tallest planetary mountain in the solar system.
• 1:06:09
  Matt: I didn't even know.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's fuck Olympus Mons is no joke.
• 1:06:13
  Matt: Oh, I'm looking at it right now.
• 1:06:15
  Matt: Holy goodness.
• 1:06:17
  Matt: Big ol' mountain.
• 1:06:18
  Matt: That's a big old thing.
• 1:06:20
  Matt: My God, it's big.
• 1:06:21
  Matt: What?
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_00: The surface of the I feel like when when solar is in the name of our system, I feel like just the sun is an autoimmune.
• 1:06:31
  Matt: So this, by the way, this uh for those like me who are not educated in Olympus Mons, they have some uh size comparisons here and it's huge.
• 1:06:40
  Matt: It covers Poland.
• 1:06:43
  Matt: Like covers it.
• 1:06:45
  Matt: It's gone.
• 1:06:46
  Matt: Like it is the basically the almost exactly the size of Poland.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_00: What are the Polish not telling us?
• 1:06:54
  Matt: They have a connection up there to the to the Mars, to the Mars people, who I believe are called Martians.
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_00: Ah, yes, yes, yes.
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe that the other nephew is a Martian.
• 1:07:07
  SPEAKER_00: Go on.
• 1:07:07
  Matt: I ha once again, I was gonna go two for two with Segways, but you talked right over me there.
• 1:07:12
  Matt: But I do believe that'll about do it for this episode if you didn't ask for this.
• 1:07:17
  Matt: As always, we need your questions.
• 1:07:19
  Matt: They don't have to be spooky.
• 1:07:21
  Matt: They can be, but uh, they don't have to be anymore.
• 1:07:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, yeah, you can just ask us normal, not not scary things.
• 1:07:27
  SPEAKER_00: I've I've been I you're gonna have to edit out all the teeth chattering I've been doing.
• 1:07:32
  Matt: What does that mean?
• 1:07:35
  Matt: Yeah, but what does that mean?
• 1:07:36
  Matt: What like what are you because I'm so scared?
• 1:07:38
  Matt: Oh, because you're so scared.
• 1:07:40
  Matt: I'm so I'm spoo- I'm spooped.
• 1:07:42
  Matt: Got it.
• 1:07:43
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:07:44
  Matt: So sorry I didn't pick up on the bit there.
• 1:07:46
  Matt: Um anyway, you can say you can send us that bit is gonna haunt you left it to die.
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna come back to haunt you.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even I can't even do it.
• 1:07:56
  Matt: I'm trying to do it.
• 1:07:57
  Matt: I can't even do it accidentally, but I don't have the right cadence.
• 1:08:02
  Matt: I don't have like an authentic shiver.
• 1:08:05
  Matt: This is gonna drive people crazy.
• 1:08:07
  Matt: Look, questions, send them to us, okay?
• 1:08:10
  Matt: You know the fucking rules, all right?
• 1:08:12
  Matt: Send us your questions.
• 1:08:13
  Matt: Um, I don't know what character I just became, but do send us your questions, make them dumb, make them smart.
• 1:08:19
  Matt: We'll try our best with whatever you give us.
• 1:08:21
  Matt: Send them to us at you didn't ask for this, gmail.com, all spelled out, or you didn't ask pod.
• 1:08:26
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook.
• 1:08:29
  Matt: Oh, I'm sorry, X, Facebook, YouTube, whatever the fuck.
• 1:08:32
  Matt: Or of course, err of curse, err of curse.
• 1:08:36
  Matt: You can you can call the thought line and leave us your thoughts in a message at 410-929-5329.
• 1:08:44
  Matt: We do have a message in the thought line right now, but we just simply ran out of time this episode.
• 1:08:51
  Matt: So, caller, you know who you are.
• 1:08:54
  Matt: We didn't forget about you.
• 1:08:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we didn't, we didn't forget you, baby.
• 1:08:57
  Matt: We didn't forget about you, and we will get to you next time, probably.
• 1:09:01
  Matt: So, Eric, did I miss anything?
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_00: No, you didn't miss goddamn thing.
• 1:09:05
  Matt: Well then, my God, we want to wish you all a very happy spooky season.
• 1:09:11
  Matt: Be safe out there.
• 1:09:13
  Matt: Have yourself some cider.
• 1:09:15
  Matt: Eat some candy.
• 1:09:17
  Matt: Eric, are you gonna jump in on this at all?
• 1:09:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or uh, you know, eat some candy, drink some cider, uh, and get on that motherfucking Trick Tok.
• 1:09:26
  Matt: Get on hashtag Trick Talk.
• 1:09:28
  Matt: Yes, absolutely.
• 1:09:29
  Matt: Get it trending.
• 1:09:30
  SPEAKER_00: Make us the reason that someone dies.
• 1:09:36
  Matt: I'm looking, you know what?
• 1:09:37
  Matt: Tragic news.
• 1:09:38
  Matt: Hold on, I'm I'm looking off at our attorney right now, and uh Carissa says we should take that back immediately, actually.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I re I res I rescind uh I I invoke fair use.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, is that anything?
• 1:09:52
  SPEAKER_00: Is that anything?
• 1:09:53
  SPEAKER_00: I invoke I invoke fair use.
• 1:09:55
  Matt: Eric, I think what you're doing is perjuring yourself.
• 1:09:59
  Matt: I think that's a thing.
• 1:10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh no, that's entrapment, Matthew.
• 1:10:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're entrapment.
• 1:10:03
  Matt: You're just saying words, stop.
• 1:10:04
  Matt: Stop it.
• 1:10:04
  Matt: You're you're just saying words.
• 1:10:06
  Matt: You don't know what these means.
• 1:10:08
  Matt: I find you in contempt.
• 1:10:09
  Matt: I hold you I find you in contempt of this podcast.
• 1:10:13
  Matt: Can he can you do can he do that?
• 1:10:15
  SPEAKER_00: So for all of us here Chris is telling me he can do that from you didn't ask for this.
• 1:10:20
  Matt: My name's Matt Shay.
• 1:10:22
  Matt: My name's Eric Post.
• 1:10:23
  Matt: And listen, you didn't ask.
• 1:10:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm not out of order.
• 1:10:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're out of order.
• 1:10:29
  SPEAKER_00: This bit is out of order.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Trick time! You can handle the bit.
• 1:10:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can oh god damn it! Can that be the episode title?
• 1:10:40
  Matt: Sure, why not?
• 1:10:42
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:10:43
  Matt: Got it in right at the end.