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When the Narcissist Has You Looking Like The Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  You know what y'all? Sometimes you might look like
• 0:05
  the narcissist. Oof, yes, I what do you talk
• 0:09
  about? I, I, I'm not a narcissist.
• 0:12
  I didn't say that you were a narcissist.
• 0:14
  I said that sometimes you might look like the narcissist.
• 0:18
  And that's what we're talking about today, y'all.
• 0:20
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:21
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
• 0:24
  of The Narcissist Code, the podcast where I give you the
• 0:26
  inside look at the mind of a narcissist.
• 0:29
  Y'all narcissistic people, toxic people like the more you around
• 0:36
  us, the more you around them, the more you're going to start
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  to act like them sometimes. Y'all, Let's just keep you hot
• 0:42
  and ready. Y'all ever heard the saying that
• 0:44
  when you are with somebody long enough, you start to look like
• 0:47
  them Sometimes you start to act like them.
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  Y'all? Hey, I, I, I, I don't make the
• 0:52
  rules, I just enforced them or I don't even enforce them.
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  I just tell you about the rules. I look, I'm the, I'm the
• 0:58
  referee. I'm the narcissistic referee.
• 1:01
  I just tell you about the rules that have been in place and
• 1:04
  implemented and whatnot. But dealing with a narcissistic
• 1:07
  person is very, is a very tough situation, y'all, because over
• 1:10
  time, their abusive behavior, their toxicity, their
• 1:15
  manipulation, it bleed, it could, it could damn near bleed
• 1:18
  into you, right? It could bleed into you.
• 1:21
  It can make you become somebody that you can start to become
• 1:25
  somebody that you're not and that this could happen to
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  anyone. No one is exempt.
• 1:32
  Let me say that again, no one is exempt from this because it
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  could happen to anyone. Literally narcissistic people,
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  toxic people are always looking for a way to, you know, man,
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  just they, when they're being abusive towards you, right, when
• 1:49
  they're being, when they're being abusive towards you, when
• 1:50
  they're treating you badly, you start to want to defend
• 1:54
  yourself. You start to try to learn how to
• 1:57
  survive Like you're the biggest thing on your mind is trying to
• 2:01
  survive. Like you absolutely want to
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  survive you, you like, how the hell can I survive this?
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  How can I make it through this situation?
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  How can I learn how to fight back?
• 2:09
  How can I learn how to do this? How can I learn how to do that?
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  So you're trying your damnedest in order to try to get past this
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  person, in order to try to get away from this person, in order
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  to try to protect yourself. So guess what?
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  Sometimes because you learn who they are, you start, you Start
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  learning their mannerisms, you Start learning the things that
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  might trigger them. You Start learning all of this
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  stuff to protect yourself. And again, sometimes you might
• 2:36
  actually start to act like them. And that's going to annoy a lot
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  of people. I already know that right there
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  in and of itself is going to annoy a lot, a lot, a lot of
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  people. Because I know it pisses so many
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  people off in this process when you're dealing with them because
• 2:51
  of how it goes. It really can, you know, And I,
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  I feel like, because if you start lying, right, I feel like
• 2:59
  everybody's told a lie in their life because nobody's perfect,
• 3:02
  right? If, when you start if and when
• 3:04
  you start telling lies, you got to start looking at yourself.
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  You're like, why am I, why am I lying?
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  You know, why am I saying this? Why am I doing this?
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  Why did I snap? Because you look, you're going
• 3:17
  to have some, you might have a rage episode one time.
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  It's going to look like narcissistic rage where you're
• 3:22
  yelling and screaming, but it's actually reactive abuse.
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  Like you're going to be reacting to their abuse.
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  You're going to be reacting to the things that they're saying,
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  the things that they're doing. You're going to have a, you
• 3:32
  could have a visceral reaction to them, right?
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  And because you're having this visceral reaction, they're going
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  to get mad as hell. And then like you're going to
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  look like sometimes you're going to look like the abuser because
• 3:44
  of the reactive abuse. Well, Lee, I'm not the abuser.
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  I didn't say you were. I didn't say you were a
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  narcissist. I said something even the title
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  says y'all, sometimes you might look like 1 because of the I was
• 3:58
  going to say siccination because of the situation in the
• 4:02
  scenarios that you've been that have been placed upon been laid
• 4:06
  in front of you, you're trying to defend yourself.
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  You might start to act like the person to who you're defending
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  you. Like if you're if you don't
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  become a product of your environment, your environment
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  becomes a product of you. You know what I'm saying?
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  So you end up being a product in this environment, and your
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  environment just happens to be a toxic relationship dynamic with
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  an abusive, manipulative person. And I know it sucks to even hear
• 4:30
  them. And I tell people that just like
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  Willie, that sucks to even hear. Yeah, it sucks to hear.
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  And it sucks to be a part of, right.
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  It sucks when you're on the receiving end of this toxicity
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  and this abuse because you're just trying to survive.
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  And then sometimes when you try to survive, you might look like
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  the abusive person you know, And narcissistic people love this.
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  They, yeah, I'm going to keep it high.
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  They love it when you look like the abuser because especially
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  when I get a chance to record it and just show everybody.
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  So they have evidence and they have proof now that you're being
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  toxic, that you're being manipulative, that you yourself
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  are being abusive. They love when you give them the
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  proof. This is why controlling your
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  reactions when you're with a narcissist is so important
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  because the less control you have over the less control you
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  have over your reactions, the more that that narcissistic,
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  toxic ass person benefits from it.
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  They benefit from it. So if you're yelling and
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  screaming and now you're starting to to lie and obvious
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  skate, you might even catch look, you might even catch
• 5:33
  yourself gaslighting sometimes, right?
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  And then you might feel like the narcissist.
• 5:38
  You can start looking up the you going.
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  You going to be like, damn, I'm dealing with a narcissist.
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  But then you can start looking up the signs and the symptoms of
• 5:42
  narcissist and you be like, wait, what, What the hell?
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  That sound like me? But have you asked yourself this
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  question right here? Y'all?
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  This is a question you have to ask yourself, like when you're
• 5:53
  trying to think that you're in a narcissist.
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  These are the questions you should should ask yourself.
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  Why are you sane in doing the things that you are doing?
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  Have you ever done this type of stuff before in a previous
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  relationship? Or is this the first time that
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  this has happened? This is the first.
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  Is this the first time that this type of stuff has transpired?
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  These are questions like these are questions that absolutely
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  need answers. So you have to ask these, these
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  are questions that you, you yourself can't absolutely answer
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  as well, right? Because it's important to
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  understand that like you can make the conscientious decision
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  to be a better person. Yeah.
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  Most people call it is narcissistic fleas, right?
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  When you pick up a trait like the, the you lay down with dirty
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  dogs, you get fleas right to the fleas are jumping from the
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  narcissist to you and they bite. You know, fleas, fleas have, you
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  know, they, they say fleas can jump 1000 times their body
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  illegal or something like that. So if a human was a fleet, we'd
• 6:48
  be flying, right? We could be damned to take
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  flight, you know. So once you get away from the
• 6:53
  narcissistic person, your behaviors can start to kind of
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  return to normal. You can, you can kind of return
• 7:00
  to a state of normalcy in this relationship dynamic within this
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  space or whatnot. You absolutely can.
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  So this is so this is part of it right here.
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  You know, this is the pieces and the parts of it that are
• 7:11
  extremely important to understand that like you get
• 7:13
  away from this person, you can start to feel better.
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  You get away from this person, you can start to behave better.
• 7:18
  You get away from this person, you can start to act better.
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  It's it's about escaping and getting away from this person
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  and understanding why you are doing the things that you're
• 7:27
  doing. You're not doing them for no
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  reason, y'all, you're not just you're not just doing this type
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  of stuff for no reason. You're doing this stuff, you're
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  doing this type of stuff. You're acting like them to
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  survive, right? And I know what people I know.
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  I already know what people want to say too.
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  Well, Lee, if you're asking yourself to question am I the
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  narcissist, that automatically means you're not?
• 7:47
  No, it doesn't. Yeah, I asked my I asked myself
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  that question. I lent myself to therapy and get
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  diagnosed. But I had also been toxic and
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  narcissistic for years upon years upon years.
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  I was 32 years old when I first stepped inside of the therapist
• 8:00
  office. I already knew who I was.
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  It wasn't just a, a burst of toxicity.
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  This was a, you know, this was a, a big, a big chunk of me
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  being toxic my entire life. So I knew I was a narcissist.
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  So just like that, if you saying you're a nurses, you probably
• 8:15
  aren't doesn't work here in my situation because I knew I was a
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  narcissist before I stepped foot in the therapist's office,
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  right. But you as you're dealing with
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  this narcissistic person, just understand that you can make
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  the, you can make the conscientious decision to be a
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  better human being, right? Yeah, you might have got toxic
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  to defend yourself and things like that.
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  You might have got a little toxic, you might look a little
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  toxic here and there. But then you go, you mean you go
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  start doing certain things. And this is one of the things
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  that might have people acting feeling like this is one of the
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  things right here that might have people feeling like they,
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  they, they might be the narcissist right here, right?
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  Because you, you hear all the time that narcissist or they
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  Hoover, they go after you, they try to track you down.
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  They do this, they do that, right?
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  You hear all of this stuff. But so when a narcissist breaks,
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  a narcissist breaks up with you and you're the one that's
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  calling them and texting them and calling them and popping up
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  at their house and going by their job and things like that.
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  You've, you feel like, well, narcissists are hoovers.
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  They, they, they, I must be the narcissist because I'm going
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  after them. That doesn't mean you a
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  narcissist because you go after them, right?
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  Because you're trying to get them back, because you're trying
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  to get them back into your life. That doesn't mean that you
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  yourself are the narcissist. It it takes a little bit to get
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  to that point and understand it, but you are reacting again to
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  being severely broken up with after being abused, after being
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  lied to and cheated on and possibly physically abused.
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  They break up with you and then you end up being a chaser.
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  Like you're chasing after them instead of them chasing after
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  you. And you can also feel like
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  you're the narcissist in that situation right there because
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  you are doing the chasing right. You're chasing them.
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  So you're like, well, I must be the narcissist because I'm
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  chasing them. Chasing someone or trying to get
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  them back into your life doesn't necessarily make you a
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  narcissist again, y'all. You have to look at it the most.
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  The big, the biggest telltale signs is you have to look at the
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  relationship dynamic in totality, like what has happened
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  in totality, what has happened in total, what has really went
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  down in these situations, what has really happened in these
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  scenarios and whatnot. That's how you can understand
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  what you've been through. That's that's how you can
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  understand how to survive in these situations right here.
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  That's how, that's what understanding looks like right
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  there for you. It's understanding how you got
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  into this situation, understand how you got to this point.
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  It's like you have to give yourself or create the
• 10:31
  autobiography of your relationship in order for in
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  order to kind of escape it, right?
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  By you creating this autobiography, you give yourself
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  the opportunity to escape it, the opportunity to heal, the
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  opportunity to be better, the opportunity to grow, the
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  opportunity to just, you know, to thrive after this abusive
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  relationship. Y'all.
• 10:50
  But anyway, y'all think y'all tuning in to this video today,
• 10:54
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• 11:02
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• 11:03
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• 11:06
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• 11:09
  person workshop. You can find
• 11:10
  everything@mentalillness.net. My website my links is
• 11:15
  everything is going to be in a description.
• 11:16
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• 11:19
  bottom get registered for dorm. You can also enter the code
• 11:23
  mental 10 MEMENT AL10 for 10% off y'all like I said it's not a
• 11:29
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• 11:32
  come check us out in dorm and we will talk later.
• 11:34
  Peace.