Latest / Unbalanced with Cerys Davage / 72. I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor (ft. Khansaa Nammas)

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72. I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor (ft. Khansaa Nammas) · Unbalanced with Cerys Davage

0:10
Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Unbalanced
0:13
with me, Keras. David, I can't believe we're at
0:16
the end of the year already. This is the last interview
0:19
episode of 2025. Crazy.
0:23
But anyway, I'm here today to introduce you guys to Khansa.
0:27
Am I saying your name right? Yes, actually, really yes.
0:31
Amazing. Well please introduce yourself
0:33
to us. Who are you, where are you from
0:35
and what do you do? I just want to warn you guys
0:38
that the audio does cut in and out a little bit throughout this
0:40
episode, so maybe it's best to watch the video version whilst
0:44
listening just for a bit more clarity if you can.
0:46
Well, hello everyone, and I'm so happy to be here.
0:50
I just wanted to to, to say that because I'm a really big fan of
0:55
the show and as you said, my name is Hansat, I'm 31 years old
1:01
and I'm Moroccan originally where I live in France.
1:05
Fun fact about me, I'm a double amputee, baloney and QT since
1:11
the age of nine years old. And yeah, so I'm so excited to
1:15
be. Here, I'm so excited to have you
1:17
on. The listeners won't be surprised
1:19
in finding out that we met over Instagram because that's how I
1:22
meet a lot of people and the community is really huge over
1:27
there and I love it so much, don't you?
1:30
I do. I do.
1:31
I didn't get to like meet a lot of people with disabilities when
1:35
I was young. So once I was, I got on social
1:39
media, I found out that there was like this whole world
1:42
around, like around like couldn't wait to like meet
1:45
everyone and talk to everyone. And just like there are
1:48
experiences. Reach out because we all share
1:52
something. Yeah, exactly.
1:54
And I love meeting new people and just connecting on that
1:57
deeper level. I mean, I love meeting people
2:00
anyway, but meeting people that just get it, you know, they,
2:03
they have the same experiences or the same kind of mindset
2:06
around things. There's just nothing like it.
2:09
It's honestly so special. Exactly.
2:11
Yes. It's like even like people,
2:13
they're very receptive do because I remember once I like I
2:18
was like going like I was just in the street and it was like a
2:22
girl with a pathetic and she just like reached out and she
2:25
hugged me and I was like, oh, no one hugs people.
2:28
Like I was in France, in Paris and in Paris people are not very
2:32
friendly. So that was like so genuine how
2:36
like we connected. So sweet moments like that, so
2:40
special. And it's just nice to see
2:42
representation, especially out in the wild as well, like in the
2:45
middle of Paris. That's crazy.
2:48
That's. True.
2:49
Yes. So tell us a bit about your
2:51
disability. So you were double amp amputee
2:54
since nine years old. What happened there?
2:58
So I was on this on, I was out with my mom, I was 9 as I said.
3:02
And we were like on foot and then we were crossing the road
3:06
and as soon as I got on the pedestrian side, like of the
3:09
road, like there were two cars, I think they were racing each
3:13
other and like one of them hit my mom 1st and fled.
3:18
And the second one that was behind like he was trying to
3:22
actually like just avoid my mom. So he went on the sidewalk and
3:27
like, and I was there. So he crushed me.
3:30
Like there was like they were like bars because there was a
3:33
tunnel like on the other side of the road and like he crushed me
3:37
like across the bars, like with the bars and like my legs, both
3:42
of them were amputated. It was instant like it happened.
3:46
I think he helped that I was young because I didn't really
3:49
like understand the importance of things and the gravity as
3:52
well. So I honestly just just thought
3:55
that we're going to grow back. I was like, OK, no biggie, you
4:01
will just grow back. And what was very important, I
4:05
think my parents, they really made a very great job.
4:09
I like just sheltering me for all the negative like comments
4:13
and negative things that were being said around from in my
4:17
family or our friends. So I just really didn't feel
4:22
like something major happened to me.
4:25
You just like being sick and not going to school.
4:29
So I try to enjoy it. That like, yeah, reality has to
4:34
catch up. Wow, OK, that's, that's a huge
4:37
story. And I'm sure you've been, you
4:39
know, I'm sure you said this story so many times to lots of
4:43
different people over the years. What do you remember from that?
4:46
Is it just all like a bit of a blur?
4:48
Is this just kind of a script that you've you just say but you
4:51
don't remember much from it? I actually do remember a lot of
4:55
things that I try to keep it light.
4:58
I would say because I don't see that something that is negative,
5:03
I try to keep all the positive side of it.
5:06
So I try to always like when I talk about it, obviously I try
5:10
to keep it light and very, I don't know, just make it funny
5:14
somehow. But I do remember a lot of
5:17
things. Like I was talking to a friend
5:20
last time and I was like, we got like deep into it.
5:24
And I said that I remembered how like, so they were like I had
5:28
Barbie boots like that. I begged my mom to buy, to buy
5:33
for me. And like I remember how like my
5:35
feet were in the boots with like the like the bone, like going
5:40
out of of them and just like it was dramatic but in a beautiful
5:46
way. I don't know how to say it.
5:48
It was just like a very powerful moment.
5:51
So I feel like I try to keep all the details by by thinking about
5:56
them because I don't want to lose them.
5:58
It was a trend, definitely a turning point in my life, but a
6:02
good one I would say. That's absolutely incredible
6:05
that something that could be so traumatic and has changed your
6:09
life forever that you're just spinning it into such a positive
6:13
thing and kind of saying it really beautifully as well.
6:16
It's just so encouraging. Wow, It's incredible.
6:20
And not everyone will be able to, to have that mindset.
6:23
You know, something like that I'm sure was really traumatic at
6:26
the time and obviously you didn't understand it.
6:29
So growing up, kind of getting to terms with it and the fact
6:33
that you're viewing that as a positive thing is just
6:36
absolutely incredible. And I suppose you're very lucky
6:39
to have the support system around you to just kind of keep
6:42
going in that way. Mm hmm.
6:44
Exactly. So actually my favourite like
6:46
episode on your show is the one with your parents, 'cause I
6:50
could relate to it like so much. Because the way like you were
6:55
talking about it, it reminded me of like my family and all the
6:58
things we've been through. Because obviously the bad part
7:01
about what happened was like all the hospital trips and like how
7:05
like all the infections and cleaning the wounds and like,
7:09
that was like the very bad part that I tried to, to forget.
7:14
But but like, there were like other things that were great.
7:17
And I love to, to, to, to think about how like my sister and my
7:21
brother had to adjust to the situation because my brother is
7:24
very close to me and like, he's like one year younger.
7:27
So we were very close and used to like play together.
7:31
And I, I love how he just adjusted like the way we used to
7:35
play. And at first I was on a
7:37
wheelchair. I wasn't using my prosthetic
7:39
legs because my legs needed to heal 1st and they were very
7:43
expensive that I was in a wheelchair and it was
7:46
discovering a whole new world. I'm so glad you could relate to
7:50
that episode with my parents. It's just it makes such a
7:54
difference when you've got a support system around you who
7:57
maybe doesn't make it seem like as big a deal.
8:00
And that's just so nice that you you had that.
8:03
How did you find school and kind of navigating growing up into a
8:08
teenager and things with your, I mean, when did you get your
8:12
process prosthetics as well? So I got them pretty early to be
8:17
honest, because I was very lucky again, because they're very
8:21
expensive. Morocco, because in Morocco
8:22
there is no, there's then there's no instruments like, and
8:26
it's not covered and you have to buy them yourself and it which
8:31
is obviously super expensive. So, and I was a kid so I had to
8:35
change them like every year because I was getting older.
8:38
And like that was a huge sacrifice.
8:40
Like my parents really had to deal with a lot initially and
8:45
emotionally there were like some negative comments, but actually
8:49
no recollection of it. Like nothing.
8:51
But like the ones I can remember is like being a teenager and
8:56
that's when things change. I would say I was with your
9:00
friends. Like people tend to get mean, I
9:03
would say. And like I lost some friends and
9:07
I would find like comments on my on my blogs.
9:10
Like how about how I was like half person.
9:13
I was not really like a full like I didn't even have a full
9:18
body and stuff like that. And my sister and I remember she
9:23
wrote, she read them and she went straight to my mom about
9:26
them. And the next day at school, she
9:29
just showed up like that. And like, she printed the
9:32
comments and she read them and she's like, just need to know
9:37
who, who, who wrote them. This can happen any, anyone can
9:41
be a stable person. But like, yes, being a teenager,
9:46
it was a bit tough. Yeah, I think it's a common
9:50
misconception that disabled people need to explain their
9:55
condition and, like, be always ready to educate other people
9:58
on, you know, what happened and things like that.
10:00
And I get what happened all the time, even though nothing
10:02
happened to me. It's just a disability.
10:06
But, you know, not everyone is comfortable sharing the medical
10:10
journey or the diagnosis or anything.
10:12
So yeah, I think it's, it's brave when people ask, you know,
10:17
for details for your disability. I think why can't it just be a
10:21
normal thing and you can just treat them like a normal human
10:23
being without just asking loads of really intrusive questions?
10:29
Especially when they're like, I don't like it actually when
10:32
their attitude change. I get sometimes I like you're
10:35
curious and like you need you want to know like what happened?
10:38
But what I used to don't like, now I just like, OK, we did.
10:41
But at first I'm like, people work, will be curious and then
10:45
you will explain. And then I don't like that the
10:48
change in attitude, the pity, that cock like oh, OK.
10:53
Oh, I think that's the thing that I used to hate the most,
10:57
and that's why I didn't want to really explain things.
11:00
Yeah, it's so annoying that they change as soon as they see the
11:03
disability. Like they treat you differently.
11:06
Yeah, they really shouldn't, you know, like we're just normal
11:08
people. And if anything, I, I, it makes
11:11
me more reluctant to talk about it.
11:13
Like, I don't want to talk about my disability if it means that
11:16
you're going to treat me differently.
11:18
I want to talk about it from like an educational point of
11:21
view, if you really want to know and educate yourself about it.
11:24
But if you want to educate yourself about things, there's
11:27
plenty of resources out there. Like I'm just, I've just got
11:30
lived experience. I haven't got all the
11:31
information. And so that's, that's another
11:34
thing, isn't it? Yes, and especially since like
11:37
my experience can be totally different from someone else's
11:41
experience. We talked about like social
11:44
media and like how it is important to like like just like
11:49
find people who are going through the same things as you.
11:51
It was very like life changing for me because growing up I had
11:55
no one to talk to. And it was, it was like my, my
11:59
mom wanted to shelter me from all this because she thought
12:03
that like, she was afraid that I would just like see myself as a
12:07
victim. Because she said at first she
12:10
went to so many NGOs, so many people with different
12:14
disabilities got gathered. And she said that like, I felt
12:17
like the one thing they were all like they all agreed on was that
12:22
they were victims of the situation.
12:25
And I, she said I didn't want you to grow up thinking that you
12:29
were a victim. Someone who gets it is
12:32
definitely a life changing thing.
12:34
Yeah, definitely. And even though it doesn't
12:36
define you completely, like I'm still a separate person, which
12:40
that sounds like what your mum did really well.
12:42
You know, she tried to, she raised you as your own person as
12:46
well and not just let you be defined by your disability.
12:49
And by that one moment, you know, it is so good to just find
12:53
people in that community. So that just it just helps you
12:56
accept it a bit more. Because I know a lot of people
12:59
hide their disabilities and mask their disabilities just to avoid
13:05
needing to talk about it with anyone.
13:06
But then when you see that representation somewhere else,
13:10
it's like, OK, maybe it's not so bad.
13:12
Like I hated the idea of using a wheelchair.
13:15
And then when I joined the online disabled community, I saw
13:18
so many people in wheelchairs that were my age and just like
13:22
absolutely looking like gorgeous and smashing it.
13:24
And I was like, wait, I finally have people to look up to that I
13:27
want to be like, and in a new way, rather than just like
13:31
models that you see online that's I like picture perfect.
13:36
Even though it's not my whole identity.
13:38
I have a way of identifying with my disability now because I have
13:43
a community, you know? I totally get it.
13:46
Like that's exactly as you said, just like people you can relate
13:50
to. And this is a very important
13:51
thing because yes, this is like something that bothers me
13:56
actually. But like, that is, I think it's
13:59
very important because I feel like the whole media is trying
14:03
to like talk about representation and put like more
14:07
disabled people, people out there.
14:09
But I don't know, I'm not at ease.
14:12
But with the way they show them, I feel like I was watching like
14:17
an ad last time it was I think Women's Day, international
14:20
Women's Day. And like they showed like
14:22
different women. Like you have an engineer, a
14:25
pilot, a teacher and a disabled person and a mom or, and I don't
14:32
know. And I was like, that's it.
14:34
The disabled person just gets to be disabled.
14:38
I would accept it. It's like they had a role.
14:41
I would say like something like as they, they, we gave like all
14:45
other women because we're still women at the end of the day.
14:49
But so awkward, isn't it? Like I'm not just a disabled
14:53
woman. Like I don't just sit at home
14:54
and be disabled. Like I have like interest,
14:58
hobbies, a job, you know? And Speaking of jobs, what is
15:02
your job? So I'm an engineer.
15:05
Just to clarify because it cut out, it was construction
15:09
engineer. So cool.
15:12
Let's try something that like where people would not expect me
15:16
to be. And I was actually exchanging
15:19
with my grandmother and she is like very old school, I would
15:24
say. So she was like, well, what do
15:27
you want to be? What do you want to do?
15:28
And she's like, just do something normal for girls don't
15:33
like on fields and stuff. And I was like, you know what?
15:35
That's exactly what I'm gonna do.
15:38
And I was like, I was afraid that I was gonna like it.
15:41
But I love it so much because you get to like actually take
15:44
part of like real things like just seeing your work like come
15:47
through and just being able to touch it somehow and, and
15:51
something that would last as well.
15:53
So I like the fact that like buildings are here and they get
15:57
to stay for a long, long period of time.
15:59
It was very challenging as well. I would say as a woman 1st and
16:04
then as a disabled person, I'm not, I don't, I don't work in,
16:07
on the field. I work in my, the office because
16:11
I'm a cost engineer. So we actually work on like
16:14
defining the costs and the time and materials needed to build a
16:19
certain building. But when I get like to go on the
16:24
field, which is very challenging by the way, I hate doing it.
16:29
But I also love it because at the end of the day, it's like
16:32
going to the gym. Like here you're not excited
16:35
about it, but like once it's done, you're just proud of
16:38
yourself. And I think that's what I like
16:40
the most about about it. Wow, that's so cool.
16:43
How have you found, like, navigating just your job and
16:47
working in general with a disability and also as a woman,
16:51
you know, like elaborate a bit more on that?
16:53
My very first experience was a very -1 like I remember I, I
16:59
went for the interview, it was very good.
17:03
Like I love the, I love the person I like.
17:06
I could feel that I had the job and they told me actually that I
17:09
had the job and then I didn't tell say anything about like my
17:14
disability. And then I, I told them because
17:17
I felt like, I don't know, like I wasn't I, I knew it wasn't
17:21
going to be a problem. I would say maybe like tweaking
17:25
something like maybe if I'm like I'm my legs is hurting, I
17:30
hurting or something, but like I felt like I felt safe.
17:33
I would say. So I told them and then like I
17:36
remember he just like looked at me.
17:38
He was like, I think I would need someone that can keep up
17:43
with me when I'm on the field, like, and I was like, no, it
17:47
wouldn't be a problem, I assure you.
17:49
I think I can manage. And then you was like, do you
17:52
mind like going outside and like just taking a tour so I can see.
17:57
And obviously I couldn't keep up like with him.
18:00
And then he was like, I'm so sorry.
18:02
I just need someone to get to keep up with me.
18:05
And that was devastating. I went back home.
18:08
I couldn't even tell anyone about it because I felt like
18:11
seeing it out loud would make it a reality.
18:15
So, but I went for other job interviews that went very well,
18:19
but I hid it the first time I, I didn't talk about it.
18:22
And then later on, like they, they found out that never said
18:25
anything to me. And the, the time after that, I
18:29
was like, you know what, I'm just going to say it.
18:32
I'm just going to say it. And I want to see, I want to
18:35
know how people are going to react.
18:37
And like, I took the interview and we talked for a long time
18:41
and then I told them and she was like, I think we're, we have to
18:45
take the interview all over again because this is something
18:49
else. And then we did, we did, but it
18:52
was very good because she, she said that like actually knowing
18:56
that you have a disability, I can see another person.
18:59
It's like, I can see the resilience, I can see the
19:02
strength and I can see that you're actually, you want it
19:06
like, and that you're actually, if you want to do something,
19:09
you're gonna go for it. And so I loved it and I never
19:12
had any, any problem after that. It was just like, funny how like
19:16
the very first interview I took was the -1.
19:22
That's so typical, isn't it? Like annoyingly, that shouldn't
19:25
represent just how applying for jobs is as a disabled person.
19:30
But it's just so frustrating that that was your first one.
19:32
Like that would really put me off.
19:34
I'd be like, no, I'm not applying for any jobs.
19:36
It's like no one wants me. But the fact that you kept
19:39
going, that's that's good. It's paid off.
19:41
Well, I had bills to pay. Yeah, right.
19:45
That was the reason you doing it for yourself.
19:48
Exactly. But it was mostly because I, I
19:51
knew that I could do it and I just knew that I just like had
19:55
to find the right person, the one that we see beyond it.
19:59
And obviously there, there are, there are things that I can do.
20:02
Like I can't walk for a long period of time.
20:05
I get tired easily. Like when we're on the field,
20:09
like you can see that I don't have the same pace as the
20:11
others. And like there are things where
20:14
I just like, I just have to say, no, I'm not doing it.
20:18
I'm sorry, I can't go there. I'm sorry, this is too much for
20:21
me, for me. And I learned it because at
20:23
first I would go for it because I felt like I had something to
20:26
prove. And I felt like I had to overdo
20:30
it so people can, can say, can see me as a normal person.
20:34
But now, like, I think I, I did a great work on it because I, I
20:40
learned how to say no, stop you. You shouldn't go there and you
20:46
don't care what they say. You know your value, you know
20:48
your strength and you know that like you don't have to go
20:51
certain length, length to prove to people that that like you,
20:55
you deserve to be here. This takes a lot of time to, to,
20:59
to get to 'cause I know how hard it was to just learn, learn to,
21:06
to just like see myself as someone with limits, 'cause I
21:11
used to think about myself as someone like with no limits for
21:15
real. Well, I just learning to, to, to
21:18
just like just admit that no, you can do this.
21:21
No, this is too much. Has been very, very hard.
21:25
Yeah, me too. I think I'm limitless.
21:28
I can do anything and I want to do everything mentally like I'm,
21:32
I'm there, you know? But yeah, it is a big thing to
21:36
have to admit defeat sometimes and to ask for help.
21:40
But help is there, you know? And I think it's hard to set
21:43
boundaries until you've been through that situation.
21:46
Like, you don't know what the boundaries are until you've
21:49
pushed yourself too far and you and you're like, OK, I'm not
21:51
going to do that again. So I guess you kind of learn as
21:54
you go along, right? Exactly, exactly.
21:58
And like on your, on your, one of your episodes, you talked
22:01
about your trip to Milan and like, how like, it was like,
22:06
amazing to just like get help at the airport.
22:10
And that was something that I discovered very recently 'cause
22:13
I used to like just go and be there.
22:15
No, I'm standing now even with like when no one needed like, I
22:19
just like, you know, when they like the gates are open and
22:22
their people just get in line. Like, I was just like, be first
22:25
in line. Just be like, yes, I'm gonna
22:26
stand and I'm gonna do just like everyone else.
22:30
And then I remember I, I was on a trip and I was alone.
22:34
I was 21 and I went to the US and on my way back, it was very,
22:40
very tiring. And I just like, couldn't just
22:44
even walk like. And then I remember I asked for
22:46
a wheelchair and I felt like, defeated.
22:50
I was like, I, I felt like I just was the worst and I didn't
22:56
tell anyone about it. I went back home, My mom was
22:58
asking how did it go? And I never said anything to
23:02
anyone but it, it was still there.
23:04
And then I was like, why did I feel that way?
23:06
Why did I feel like just I had the let myself down?
23:11
I went to see actually like a psychologist.
23:15
I think we recall that. And then and we, we talked about
23:18
this and he was like, no, not everything is a challenge.
23:22
You just have to accept that you can't do anything.
23:25
It's just like everyone else. We all get tired.
23:28
We all have our limits and we all deserve to just be like, no,
23:32
you can't do this. You don't have to go that far to
23:36
just prove something to someone that that doesn't even know you.
23:39
I think it triggered triggered so many things in me, so many
23:42
changes where I was just like, I don't even want to feel that way
23:47
again. So how what should I do to avoid
23:50
feeling that that bad? That's so good because you're
23:54
looking after yourself, you're protecting yourself.
23:57
You've you put yourself in an uncomfortable situation and
24:00
you're like, OK, well, I'm don't like that, so I'm not going to
24:03
do that again. So yeah, it is about just
24:07
accepting defeats. And well, it's not even defeat.
24:09
Just like finding new ways of getting about life and looking
24:13
after yourself. Like for me, asking for a
24:15
wheelchair in an airport is self-care because otherwise I
24:18
would struggle and no one would know.
24:21
I mean, actually, I think it might be obvious.
24:23
I'll probably cry, but you know, in general, it's just so much
24:28
better to, you know, if help is there, you may as well take it.
24:31
And it's not a sign of weakness. It's not you're not a burden for
24:35
doing it. Help is there for reason.
24:37
And yeah, it's just a journey to accept that sometimes,
24:41
especially when you're stubborn like me.
24:45
Yes, me too. And I think my family like say
24:49
the big role in it because my mom didn't want me to.
24:53
I just said before to be like see myself as a victim.
24:56
So she raised me as as like a survivor.
25:01
She would like like tell me all the time that I was like so
25:05
strong and that nothing could face face me and that I would
25:08
like I could get anything that I wanted.
25:11
So I felt like to like have to face a limit was like deceiving
25:17
her as well. And I remember like we sat one
25:21
day and I was like, we cried our eyes out and we were like, I was
25:25
like, I just need you to to say it out loud.
25:28
I need to hear it just for you to say you're OK.
25:32
You don't have to do anything. She's like, I know you don't
25:35
have to do. I know.
25:36
But I just need to hear it because to me it's like always
25:40
the two of us. And if I do something bad in my
25:44
mind, it's like I'm deceiving both of us.
25:47
So it was a very, very, I would like a touching moment with my
25:52
mom where we're just like, we cried so much, but it was so
25:56
good. I think we definitely needed
25:59
that discussion. And it sounds so simple, but to
26:03
me it was like very like a huge step.
26:06
It's like she is like the one that protected me her whole life
26:12
and that made sure that I was OK.
26:14
If she gets to like just accept that vulnerable side of me, then
26:19
it's OK. Everyone, everyone will.
26:22
And that's exactly what happened.
26:24
That's so sweet. Shout out to your mom.
26:27
Honestly, she sounds like an absolute queen.
26:29
She sounds amazing. And yeah, we all need those
26:32
tough moments and those tough conversations, but that's how we
26:35
grow as people. You know, I do want to move on
26:39
to talking about your online social media profiles because
26:44
you do a lot of raising awareness on there.
26:47
You do a lot of modelling. And I genuinely thought you were
26:49
a model like professionally because of because of the
26:54
pictures. And honestly, maybe one day you
26:56
will be, who knows, guys, stay tuned.
26:58
But tell us a bit about it and why you think it's important to
27:03
kind of raise awareness in that way online.
27:06
I wanted to model for a long time and but I never felt like I
27:11
didn't want pretty pictures. I felt like I wanted something
27:15
that I could that could really reflect me.
27:18
So I I kept it in mind and I was like the day I will fully like
27:23
feel like good in my own skin and my own body and fully
27:28
embrace it and accept it. I want to do a photo shoot and
27:31
just like be a woman in that photo suit instead of like, I
27:36
don't want it to be like focusing on my, my prosthetics
27:41
or my disability or just like my face or my hair or something.
27:45
I want it to be like, like me, like all of me, all the sides.
27:50
And then I, it just happened like that, like I met like a
27:55
photograph who was like I had do you, are you interested in like
27:58
a photo shoot and stuff? And I was like, I don't want to
28:01
do a photo shoot, just like a cute one.
28:03
I want something that would like be punchy.
28:06
And I talked to him like we discussed my vision and we made
28:10
it happen And I loved it. I loved it so much.
28:15
And I felt like a woman. Actually, that's exactly the
28:21
word because I felt like it was me.
28:23
It's not, it's not. It was not just like pretty
28:25
pictures just to, to show off what you're wearing and stuff.
28:29
It was just like, yes, here is all of me with the, the
28:34
disability, with the limbs, with everything.
28:37
And here is me looking at the camera and owning it.
28:42
And that's exactly what I wanted to do.
28:44
And I loved it. I loved it.
28:46
So I whenever I have the chance to do it, I try and I love it so
28:52
much. And how the way it resonated
28:55
with so many people made me, made me understand that like
28:58
people wanted to, to see that 'cause I like, I had like so
29:02
many friends that reached out. It was like, when did it happen?
29:05
When did it happen? We didn't know.
29:08
And I was like, no, that was a very long time ago.
29:11
And you're like, we, we never knew.
29:13
And then I was like, it's because I hid it actually.
29:16
And that's not good. Like I need to own it and I need
29:21
to talk about it. And then like other people start
29:24
reaching out like, like girls like in, in Morocco.
29:28
Because I, I said in Morocco there there isn't much
29:31
representation, if not at all like I grew up just looking at
29:35
like people in the US or the UK or France because I wanted to
29:39
see people like that were in the same situation as me.
29:42
But I never got to see anyone in Morocco that was in the same
29:45
situation. And they like people who reach
29:49
out and they were like, I have a cousin, she's also an amputee.
29:52
And I showed her you pictures and she loved them.
29:55
Or like, like, like colleagues. They were like I, I showed them
29:59
to, I don't know. And and then I was like, wow,
30:02
there are people that actually look for things like that.
30:07
The same. I looked for them when I was
30:09
young, but I couldn't find them here in Morocco, so I had to go
30:12
look for them elsewhere. So now maybe I get to be that
30:16
person for these, for these girls.
30:18
The amount of messages I receive, like it's just
30:22
overwhelming. And I love it because I feel
30:25
like, because I met many amputees before, but many of
30:28
them stopped going to school because they, they thought that
30:30
they can't do anything with a higher education because they
30:32
can never get jobs. So I'm like, no, you can
30:35
actually, like, I mean, I, I did it and they're like, but how,
30:40
how do you and like just, or just like wear dresses or wear
30:44
skirts or, or go to, to the beach And I'm like, no, you
30:48
don't have to hide. You can also swim.
30:50
You can enjoy it. You can maybe try it like like
30:54
travel alone. I did it and, and, and, and like
30:58
seeing them like the questions in their eyes, like for real,
31:02
like for real. I loved it so much.
31:04
And I was like, maybe I, this is also my, I was so lucky,
31:09
definitely like so lucky to have my family and my, my friends
31:14
that allowed me to be who I am today.
31:16
So I was like, here is also a chance, but a responsibility as
31:21
well. So maybe you need to talk about
31:24
this more and just like show up. So I try but I'm not very good
31:29
at the edit but I just like hope that that it still resonates
31:33
with people. That's incredible and it really
31:36
shows the need for representation because if you're
31:39
not going to find it in your local community, then you're
31:42
going to go online to look for it.
31:43
And yes, also it's nice to see not just classic British or
31:49
American like white girls doing it, you know, like you've, you
31:52
have the full rainbow, you have the full spectrum all over the
31:55
Internet now. Like it's honestly everywhere.
31:58
It's it's really beautiful and good on you for turning
32:03
something that you wish you had when you were younger, the
32:05
representation that you missed when you were growing up,
32:09
turning that into something for the next generation to look up
32:13
to. And it's so nice that you get a
32:15
load of messages. And I'm not surprised at all.
32:18
Yeah, it's so great to actually see that this is normal, You
32:22
know, that there are people out there with this.
32:25
And I've learned so much opening myself up to the disability
32:28
community. I've learn about so many
32:31
different lifestyles and just different disabilities in
32:36
general. It's just, it's honestly an
32:38
endless source of just joy and information all at once.
32:43
Yes, I did too, actually, because I I love how like your
32:48
your like podcast through your podcast.
32:51
I mean because I love how is not like centred around like one
32:55
disability in particular. So it just like go like and like
32:59
you just like talk to people with so many different
33:02
experiences. And I learned so much about
33:06
about them as well. And online, obviously, because
33:08
thank God, now we have like like pages on Instagram and groups
33:12
and you can just like it's exchange with people and like
33:15
talk to them and you're like, wow, actually they're like you
33:20
somehow. It's reassuring because
33:22
sometimes you just like feel like you're like you're going
33:26
through way too much and like the world is ending.
33:29
And then you just like, remember, they're like, they're
33:32
people who are going through way worse, but they are still
33:35
managing to like show up and just like live their life to the
33:39
fullest and just go for it. And you're like, I don't have an
33:42
excuse actually. And I love it because we
33:45
motivate each other and I love it.
33:48
Yeah, me too. Just even connecting with you
33:51
online and so many other young women, it just, yeah, it really
33:55
motivates me to just go out there and live my best life.
33:58
Because you're also showing people like you can go to the
34:01
beach, like you can do this and this with prosthetic.
34:04
You're opening up like opportunities for people and you
34:07
don't even realise it. It might not be a big deal for
34:09
you, but for someone else to see that representation, that might
34:13
be all they need to motivate them to be like, you know what,
34:17
I'm going to go for it. I'm going to follow my dreams.
34:20
I'm going to live my best life just because they've seen
34:23
someone else do it. And maybe that's that's all they
34:25
needed to just get them going. But it really motivates me as
34:29
well, meeting people on my podcast and just connecting with
34:33
people online and just following people online.
34:35
It's like, OK, we're all smashing it here in the
34:37
disability community. Like we have no excuse, you
34:40
know? Definitely, Yeah.
34:43
That's such a, that's such an amazing thing that we get to see
34:47
like people living their life like this with no limitations,
34:51
without like, being put in a box where they just like, have to
34:54
exist. Exactly.
34:57
That's amazing. Yeah, they're doing other
34:59
things. They're not just disabled.
35:02
Exactly. I remember like when I was
35:05
young, like I, I was just like so sick of like just the same
35:10
thing over and over again. And the it's crazy how much it
35:15
has changed. It's crazy that like people
35:19
doing everything and like people free diving and like surfing and
35:25
like, what is the limits? I mean, we are really rocking
35:29
this thing and I love it. Me.
35:31
Too. It's it's incredible.
35:34
I want to ask you how you found moving to France and navigating
35:39
a disability, going from living in Morocco and the accessibility
35:43
there and maybe the lack of representation that you saw.
35:47
What was there much difference in moving to France?
35:50
What's that been like? Yes, definitely.
35:53
Big, big change. That's actually what made me go
35:58
online and start like talking about it because I felt like
36:00
maybe it is time for things to change back home and back home
36:05
as in Morocco. And I'm like, yeah, I came here
36:10
not expecting much, I would say because I have travelled before
36:14
and but like day-to-day life is very different.
36:18
And I noticed it like when it comes to my prosthetics that are
36:22
now like very accessible because I can have them just because
36:26
it's a right. I would say when before all my
36:29
savings used to go on my prosthetic legs because they
36:32
cost way too much. And then now I'm like, what do
36:36
you mean? I get to do other things with my
36:38
money. Like how?
36:41
Yay, finally could be a normal person.
36:45
Yes, vacation baby, yes, that's like amazing.
36:50
And even like last time, like I changed my prosthetics and they
36:55
were like, I had to go through some, some mishaps, I would say.
36:59
And so I, I was on a wheelchair for like two or three months and
37:04
I was so scared of it because I remembered how hard it was.
37:08
Just like I, I remembered how I never, never could do anything
37:12
on my own. So I was so scared of it.
37:15
And then I like, I, I would my boyfriend here in France.
37:18
Like I obviously I knew that was not alone, but like some somehow
37:23
I was like me, I'm going to depend on him.
37:25
I'm going to rely on him. And I'm not used to this.
37:28
So I was really, really scared. But then I found out that like
37:32
the roads were accessible and the like that I could like go
37:38
like to like the hospital there for my checkup alone.
37:42
And then I was like, what? OK, so obviously it's not
37:47
perfect, but there's, it's huge compared to, to, to, to Morocco.
37:52
And like, just like I went back to to Morocco, like this summer
37:56
and I was on my prosthetic legs, which gives me like so much
38:02
autonomy compared to wheelchair. And I still found it hard.
38:06
And I was like, how did I live 30 years?
38:09
And this I know that like things are changing, but like, I think
38:13
they're changing way too slowly. Like I feel like we need to
38:16
speed it up a little bit. And the only ones that can
38:20
actually actually talk about this are people that are very
38:23
like that live this on a day-to-day life.
38:26
They are the ones that see what's not like what's wrong
38:29
because I, I, I don't expect someone that doesn't even feel
38:33
the need to have like, like good, like good roads or
38:37
accessible roads to, to just like be like, oh, how does a
38:40
person with a wheelchair manage to, to, to cross the road?
38:43
I'm like, I, I don't expect them expect them to do it.
38:46
I feel like it's us that need to speak about it.
38:49
And I see it online in Morocco as well, but I still feel like
38:54
that the majority of people that talk about it there, I'm still
38:59
in there. I'm a disabled person box.
39:02
Like I'm just like disabled and I'm happy and I like, I like my
39:07
life this way, which is good. I mean, that's just like there's
39:12
also responsibility that we have, which is to speak up and
39:16
to say when things are not right and things are definitely not
39:18
right. That's really interesting how I
39:21
guess different cultures adapt in different ways and the
39:24
progression to accessibility is in different places, in
39:30
different parts of the world. But I'm glad you have a support
39:33
system here. I'm glad that things are more
39:35
accessible and that you have more money.
39:39
And yeah, it's honestly so nice to to just see you thriving.
39:44
We would love to share your social media handles for people
39:47
to follow your journey. Where can we find you?
39:51
I'm on Instagram on Kansa KHANSAA and there's Cora Namas
39:57
NA Double Nas, which is my first name and my last name, and on
40:03
TikTok on Call Me Kansas which is my nickname.
40:07
I love that I really want to just keep talking to you forever
40:11
because you're just so interesting and such a positive
40:14
light in this world. I'm absolutely obsessed with
40:16
you. But I want to end this podcast
40:20
with a really important question, which is do you have
40:25
any advice that you would give your younger self or anyone else
40:28
going through what you did? To my younger self, I would say
40:31
we'd start with thank you. Well like real advice.
40:35
I would really just ask them to just dare to dream it because
40:42
like people where we will see you as someone that doesn't have
40:46
the means or doesn't have what what is necessary to pursue a
40:50
certain things. But just like believe in the
40:53
life you want to have and you will eventually like reach all
40:57
the things you want because it's your life and it's only you and
41:03
you get to live it for the rest of your life.
41:05
So just make sure that you're proud of it and just go for it
41:08
because the strength is is in you.
41:10
We just have to find it. Beautiful, well said and very
41:16
motivating for anyone that might be struggling a little bit.
41:20
We all have that strength in us somewhere.
41:21
It may not be physical, definitely not for me, but it
41:25
just makes us stronger mentally and more resilient and Sky's the
41:29
limit, you know? Yes, exactly.
41:32
And resilience, as you said, that's it.
41:36
Is anything else you want to add at all?
41:39
Not really. I just want to thank you so much
41:41
for what you're doing. I really, really appreciate that
41:45
like the your podcast and even your presence on social media.
41:48
I love it. I love that like you just like
41:51
because through you I like found out so many people and I'm just
41:56
so happy to be here and to be able to share my story with you
42:00
and just like talk more about my journey.
42:01
Thank you so much. Thank you and thank you for your
42:04
kind words. That really means a lot.
42:06
If you guys listening enjoyed our episode, don't forget to
42:10
follow Hands Out on social media and to follow this podcast for
42:14
more episodes like this. Don't forget to subscribe and
42:17
like if you're watching on YouTube.
42:20
I'll be back with you guys in the new year.
42:22
But until then, have a lovely new year and I'll speak to you
42:24
soon. Bye.
42:26
Bye.