Latest / Motivation Mindset Podcast / I Won’t Give Up: Push Through the Toughest Times and Win

Transcript

I Won’t Give Up: Push Through the Toughest Times and Win · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's hard to imagine, but you have to learn how
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: to fail. Because I'm going to explain this to you.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I have big dreams. A lot of us have big dreams,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: big goals, and when you have goals that are maybe
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: outside your reach, you have to know that getting to
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: that goal, you can have a lot of bad days,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: a lot of setbacks. Like when I was losing one
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: hundred and six pounds in three months. The first two
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: months or the first two weeks, it's like I was
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: gaining weight. You know, I would lose a pound game two,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: So I was just failing. I kept failing and kept failing,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: and kept failing. So I had to teach myself how
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: to fail right. And what that means is when I fail,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I can't spend much time in that fail zone. I
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: have to be able to get up and get after
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: the next day just as fast because my goals would
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: you know, to be a navy seal. I don't have
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: time to stay here and feel back for myself for
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: weeks and months and years because I'll lose that time.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: So the big thing is to know that if you
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: have big goals and big dreams along the way, failure
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: is going to happen. So how fast do you get
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: up from that? And you got to teach yourself that.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: But the biggest key to success in anything you do
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: is you got to have an unlimited supply a fucking you,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: this drive and passion, and it may come from nothing
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: like for me, there was no passion, no drive, no nothing,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: but I had this fire that I'm gonna be somebody
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: and it has to be there because on all those
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: bad days and all those days you don't want to
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: do shit, you have to be your own motivator, your
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: own coach, you own your own trainer, your own everything.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: So to do that, you have to come into work
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: and work is whatever your work may be ready to go.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: And what that means is you may have failed miserably yesterday,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: but you come to work like people like man, you
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: just lost everything, How the hell are you just fucking
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: damn motivated? Because this is what it takes. This is
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: what the fuck it takes, and you got to get
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: it from wherever you can, whether you make up this
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: illusion of your life or this false reality that gets
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: you motivated, whatever gets you motivated, it's going to be
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: here at the tip of your brain at all times.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Because in those dark moments, you gotta you gotta pull
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: it out. So that's the big thing for me, man.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I was always fired up at all times because the
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: only way we can change is to be real with ourselves.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: If you don't know shit and have never taken school seriously,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: then say I'm dumb. Tell yourself that you need to
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: get your ass to work because you're falling behind in life.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: If you look in the mirror and you see a
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: fat person, don't tell yourself that you need to lose
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: a couple of pounds. Tell the truth. You're fucking fat.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: It's okay just say you're fat. If you're fat, the
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: dirty mirror that you see every day is going to
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: tell you the truth every time. So why are you
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: still lying to yourself so you can feel better for
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: a few minutes and stay the fucking same. If you're fat,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: you need to change the fact that you're fat because
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: it's very faing unhealthy. I know because I've been there.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: If you have worked for thirty years doing the same
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: shit you've hated day in and day out because you
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: are afraid to quit and take a risk, you've been
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: living like a pussy period, point blank. Tell yourself the
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: truth that you've wasted enough time and that you have
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: other dreams that will take courage to realize, so you
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: don't die a fucking pussy call yourself out. Nobody likes
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: to hear the hard truth individually, and as a culture,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: we avoid what we need to hear most. This world
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: is fucked up. There are major problems in our society.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: We are still dividing ourselves up along racial and cultural lines.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: People don't have the balls to hear it. The truth
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: is racism and bigotry still fucking exist, and some people
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: are so thin skin they refuse to admit that. But
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: if you are the only and you aren't stuck in
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: some real world genocidal twilight zone, you better get real too.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Your life is not fed up because of overt racists
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: or hidden systemic racism. You aren't missing out on opportunities
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: making shit money and getting evicted because of America or
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Donald Trump, or because your ancestors were slaves, or because
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: your ancestors were slaves, or because some people hate immigrants
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: or Jews, or harassed women or believe gay people are
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: going to hell. If any of that is stopping you
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: from excelling life, I've got some news. You are stopping you.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: You are giving up instead of getting hard. Tell the
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: truth about the real reasons for your limitations, and you
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: will turn that negativity, which is real, into jet fuel.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Those odds stacked against you will become a damn runway.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: There is no more time to waste hours and days
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: evaporate like creeks in the desert. That's why it's okay
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: to be cruel to yourself, as long as you realize
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: you're doing it to become better. We all need thicker
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: skin to improve in life. Being soft when you look
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: in the mirror isn't going to inspire the wholesale changes
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: we need to shift our present and open up our future.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: The morning after that first session with the accountability mirror,
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I trashed the shag steering wheel on the fuzzy dice.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I tucked my shirt in and wore my pants with
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: a belt, And once school started up again, I stopped
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: eating at my lunch table for the first time being
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: liked and acting cool. We're a wasting my time, and
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: instead of eating with all the popular kids, I found
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: my own table and ate alone. Mind you, the rest
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: of my progress could not be described as a blink
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: and you'll miss it metamorphosis. Lady lucked not suddenly show up,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: run me a hot, soapy bath and kiss me like
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: she loved me. In fact, the only reason I didn't
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: become just another statistic is because at the last possible moment,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I got to work. You're gonna find peace from going
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: to war with yourself cause we all got people look
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: at me and the reason why my story of resonating
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: with people because I don't hide. I'll tell you exact
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: who the guy I am. I would admit to it.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: People are great at hiding, so they wanted to find peace. No,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: you gotta take your fix reors spin. You don't just
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: shove it under rug. Fix it and then you'll find
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: some piece later. During my senior year in high school
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: in Brazil, all I cared about was working out, playing basketball,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: and studying, and it was the accountability mirror that kept
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: me motivated to keep pushing towards something better. I woke
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: up before dawn and started going to the m Kyle
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: most mornings at five am before school to hit the whites.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I ran all the damn time, usually around the local
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: golf course after or dark. One night, I ran thirteen
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: miles the most I'd ever run in my entire life.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: On that run, I came to a familiar intersection. It
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: was the same street where that redneck had pulled a
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: gun on me. I avoided it and ran on, covering
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: a half mile in the opposite direction before something told
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: me to turn back. When I arrived at that intersection
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: a second time, I stopped and contemplated it. I was
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: scared sless of that street. My heart was leaping from
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: my chest, which is exactly why I suddenly started charging
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: down its fucking throat. Within seconds, two snarling dogs got
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: loose and chased me as the woods leaned in on
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: both sides. It was all I could do to stay
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: a step ahead of the beasts. I kept expecting that
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: truck to reappear and run me the fuck down, like
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: some scene from Mississippi circa nineteen sixty five. But I
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: kept running faster and faster until I was breathless. Eventually,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: the hounds of hell gave up and loped off, and
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: it was just me, the rhythm and steam of my breath,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: and that deep country quiet. It was cleansing. By the
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: time I turned back, my fear was gone. I owned
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: that in street from then on I brainwashed myself in
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: the craven discomfort. If it was raining, I would go
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: run whenever it started, knowing, my mind would say get
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: your and running shoes on. Sometimes I wasted out and
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: had to deal with it at the accountability mirror. But
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: facing that mirror, facing myself motivated me to fight through
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable experiences, and as a result, I became tougher, and
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: being tough and resilient helped me meet my goals. Nothing
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  Speaker 1: was as hard for me as learning. The kitchen table
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: became my all day, all night study hall. After I'd
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: failed the ASVAB a second time, my mother realized that
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: I was serious about the Air Force, so she found
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: me a tutor who helped me feel you're out. A
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: system I could use to learn. That system was memorization.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: I couldn't learn just by scratching a few notes and
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: memorizing those. I had to read a textbook and write
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: each page down in my notebook, then do it again
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: a second and third time. That's how knowledge stuck to
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: the mirror of my mind, not through learning, but through transcription, memorization,
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  Speaker 1: and recall. I did that for English, I did that
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: for History. I wrote out and memorized formulas for algebra.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: If my tutor took an hour to teach me a lesson,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I had to go back over my notes from that
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: session for six hours to lock it in My personal
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: study hall. Schedule and goals became post it notes on
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: my accountability mirror and guess what happened. I developed an
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: obsession for learning. Over six months, I went from having
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: a fourth grade reading level to that of a senior
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: in high school. My vocabulary verry mushroomed. I rode out
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: thousands of flash cars and went over them for hours, days,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: and weeks. I did the same for mathematical formulas. Part
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: of it was survival instinct. I damn sure wasn't going
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: to get into college based on academics, and though I
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: was a starter on the varsity basketball team my senior year,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: no college scouts knew my name. All I knew was
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: that I had to get out of Brazil Indiana, that
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: the military was my best chance, and to get there,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I had to pass the ASVAP. On my third try,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I met the minimum standard for the Air Force. Living
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: with purpose changed everything for me, at least in the
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: short term. During my senior year in high school, Studying
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: and working out gave my mind so much energy that
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: hate flake for my soul, like used up snake skin.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: The resentment I held toward the racists in Brazil, the
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: emotion that had dominated me and was burning me up inside,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: dissipated because I'd finally considered the fucking source. I looked
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: at the people who were making me feel uncomfortable and
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: realized how uncomfortable they were in their own skin. To
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: make fun of or try to intimidate someone they didn't
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: even know based on race alone was a clear indication
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: that something was very wrong with them, not me. But
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: when you have no confidence, it becomes easy to value
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: other people's opinions, and I was valuing everyone's opinion without
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: considering the minds that generated them. That sounds silly, but
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: it's an easy trap to fall into, especially when you
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: are insecure on top of being the only As soon
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: as I made that connection, being upset with them was
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: not worth my time because if I was going to
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: kick their ass in life, and I was, I had
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: way too much to do. Each insult or dismissive gesture
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: became more fuel for the engine revving inside me. By
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: the time I graduated, I knew that the confidence I
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: managed to develop didn't come from a perfect fam, god
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: given talent. It came from personal accountability, which brought me
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: self respect, and self respect will always lde a way
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: forward for me. It lit up a path straight out
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: of Brazil forever, but I didn't get away clean. When
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: you transcend a place in time that has challenged you
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: to the core, it can feel like you've won a war.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Don't fall for that. Mirage your past. Your deepest fears
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: have a way of going dormant before springing back to
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: life at double strength. You must remain vigilant. Anybody, not
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: just Navy says, but anybody that could accomplish anything that
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: is hard. The only separator is is that they really
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: want to be there. There's some people that get inspired
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: and that inspiration moves them to try to do something.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: But the inspiration is very high right now in this
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: nice environment. We're in a nice environment. The ocean's out there.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I'm talking to you. If I want to go to
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: refrigerator and get something to drink, eat, I can I
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: watch a movie by some badasses. You're inspired, But the
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: second you're not in this environment and you're actually doing
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: what inspired you. That suck factor is now real. You
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: can't just get off your couch and get a shake,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: or get a box of donuts or turn the TV.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: You're now there, and only those people who have been
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: there a million times in their minds and have lived
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: in that water, and have suffered a million times, and realized,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: my legs.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: May break, my knee may break, my bones will hurt,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I will be the coldest I've been in my life.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: I will be miserable and accept that. Because what happens
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: is when you get in a horrible situation in life,
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: your mind I called my one second decision. When you
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: get a horpor situation in life, your mind immediately says
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: get out of here. Everybody does, even if you want
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: to be there. But it starts to have all these
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: different questions in your mind in that one second, and
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: it says, Okay, why are you here? Why are you
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: doing this? Why this? Why that? And then you start
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: to say yourself, if you don't want to be there,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: that bad. I'm not a beautiful wife, avery wone man,
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I don't want doing this. Man like this is stupid,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: This is gonna get these guys injured, like they're gonna
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: pay for this for the rest of their lives. I'm
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: not gonna break my body up to do this. Your
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: mind starts to say, yeah, this is stupid. But if
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: you have, if you are already knowing that this is
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: gonna happen to you, you have all the answers to
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: these questions that your mind starts to give you when
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: you're in suffer mode.