Latest / Grounded Growth / Faith in Marriage and Singleness
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- Stephanie Petry: Hi, welcome. I'm Stephanie Petrie. Nicole Ghirardi: I'm Nicole Girardi. Stephanie Petry: And this episode is all about marriage and singleness. and so we are going to talk about living faithfully in your current season, whether that be married, single, maybe you're waiting or widowed, or even just desiring a change. and so contentment versus comparison is also important for us to talk about. It's not about fixing your season necessarily, but being faithful within it. and identity in Christ. over your relationship status. This one's important because anytime we're wanting to see change in a relationship, even if it's not in a married one and just a friendship, it always needs to go back to the foundation of who you are in Christ and your relationship with him first. Marriage is not ultimate, Christ is, but marriage does reflect something sacred and purposeful. And then also just God's timing and purpose. this is not about elevating one season over another, but seeing God rightly in both. ⁓ and just a quick little disclaimer too. Nicole and I are not like saying that we are professionals at marriage by any means. ⁓ and so there are situations where you're going to need to seek professional help. So just a kind of disclaimer and just to acknowledge that. There are some things that are, you know, in marriages that need some professional counseling or you might even need to seek out other professional help. So just a heads up on that, but we're gonna go ahead and get started. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Absolutely, and no matter what season you're in, there can be this underlying question. Is this where I'm supposed to be? And how we answer that question really shapes how we live. So Steph, why don't we talk about the struggle with our current season right now? Stephanie Petry: Okay. So the biggest struggles. ⁓ so you know, I've been married for I think we're going on thirteen years. That could be completely wrong and I just spitballed a number. I know that we've been dating for twenty years, but I always am like, maybe it's fifteen. Holy Toledo. Okay, anyway, we've been married and together for a very long time. we're high school sweethearts. and so our biggest struggle currently, right now, is my husband's job. if I'm being honest. ⁓ and so it is something that we are ⁓ I'm constantly needing to give him some encouragement and support in it. he's just not very content with where he's at right now with his work. ⁓ and so we have to discuss that often and we have to talk about, you know, his purpose. We have to talk about patience and waiting on God's timing while him still pursuing change. and so that is something that we're currently ⁓ struggling with. ⁓ And Nicole Ghirardi: Hi, welcome to Grounded Growth Podcast. I'm Nicole Girardi. And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Stephanie Petry: And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button. Nicole Ghirardi: and Stephanie Petry: One thing is ⁓ like oftentimes our biggest struggles is something where we feel like it's just not something we expected. ⁓ and so, you know, sometimes we're used to expecting like little quarrels here and there or disagreements, or, you know, maybe you're going to you know not see eye to eye on certain things, like maybe how you parent or something like that. So ⁓ but the nitty-gritty of it is often what creates that struggle or those little things that add up over time. Nicole Ghirardi: Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button right now on whatever app you're listening on. Stephanie Petry: right now on whatever app you're listening on. Nicole Ghirardi: Thank Thank Stephanie Petry: ⁓ and then also I think, you know, we're gonna talk just briefly about singleness. I just wanted to shed some light on it because a lot of times when you're married, you tend to forget about the ones that are single, or you think, ⁓ everyone that's single wants to be married. And that's not necessarily true either. ⁓ singleness is also a calling from the Lord. ⁓ and so just something to kind of be mindful of. ⁓ but even if you are single, there could still be some longing and waiting and even questioning God's timing as Nicole Ghirardi: you for joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. We hope today brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Stephanie Petry: Thank you joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. ⁓ We hope brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, you know, you're seeking a spouse. But in marriage, there can be unmet expectations. ⁓ there can be frustrations, there can be realizing it's not the fix that we thought it would be. ⁓ and you know, there's I I things just keep popping in my head as I think about this. Like I even remember like, ⁓ well, if we have another kid, it might fix the disconnection that we've been having, or, you know, and that's like a big one. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. stay grounded and keep growing. Stephanie Petry: stay grounded keep growing. Nicole Ghirardi: you you Stephanie Petry: ⁓ and that's like red flag, red flag, red flag. I just think that you know you you have to be careful of what is you're struggling with. Have you communicated exactly what you are feeling? Have or are you like internalizing it and expecting him to read your mind? Like we have to realize our fault and not just point fingers at our spouse either when there's struggles. and I think we often fall into that trap of believing if my relationship status changed. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: Things would feel easier. Or if they would just pick up the laundry off the floor, my life would be easier. ⁓ and the truth is that every season requires faith. even when someone else is making it very difficult for you, ⁓ you are still called to faithfulness. ⁓ so it's see, it's just struggles expose our hearts, and every season is an opportunity to grow in Christ-likeness. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And I think you're right. I mean, if we're single, we're married, we're widowed, we're divorced, whatever the case may be, it all comes with unique challenges and struggles. there's no season of life without that difficulty. And God really uses these struggles for us to really define ⁓ we are ⁓ ⁓ our marriage is or whatever the case may be. And it really makes us more like Him. And that's the whole goal. And mean, in our own marriage, I mean, we've kind of talked about in this ⁓ with story that ⁓ I going through, but. James and I, I mean, we navigate challenges every single day. And I think that, you know, a lot of it is, is, you know, we have a significant age gap between the two of us. I mean, we've got 17 years age difference between the two of us. So that comes with our own unique challenges of how marriage is supposed to look like, you know, the parenting styles that we have. right now it's just trying to figure out who we are ⁓ in our marriage because I mean, unfortunately, we didn't start a marriage the right way. We started with having a child, then get buying a house, then getting married and having another child. So that brought a completely different way of method of how we're supposed to be doing life. ⁓ so that's really where we have to work through that transition. and bringing that into play. mean, on top of all of that, I mean, our biggest struggle that we have right now is that we transition from him being the breadwinner of the household to me being the breadwinner of the household and what that looks like. completely different because we're still trying to figure out who he is and who I am and ⁓ sure that we're not playing off of each other in a negative way. But really the goal isn't to escape the struggle and I feel like that is where a lot of my season last year was is that I was just trying to figure out the best way to escape it. But what we're supposed to be doing is leaning into God's grace and trust his purpose in it. And that is a ever ⁓ ending learning for James and I and through anybody's marriage. ⁓ Stephanie Petry: I believe it. Nicole Ghirardi: Whether you're married or single, the key is to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and allow him to use your current season to shape who you are and the relationship that you're trying to build. Stephanie Petry: And Nicole, how long have you and James been married? Nicole Ghirardi: So we have been married officially. ⁓ It will be 11 years in July and we have been together 15. Stephanie Petry: So when we start believing that a different season will solve what we're feeling internally, it can lead us to some unhealthy expectations about both marriage and singleness. So Nicole, what happens when we misplace our expectations? Nicole Ghirardi: ⁓ of the biggest traps that we fall into is placing our hope and our identity ⁓ our relationship status. I feel like that's a big one. ⁓ I like I've utilized that and ⁓ have that. But what we expect our spouse ⁓ or when want to have change in our circumstances to fulfill us, we set ourselves up for disappointment. You brought that you know, like just, just if James would just do laundry or if I would just, you know, help and understand this or X, Y, and Z, I feel like we, we are setting ourselves up for expectations that are not achievable and they're not going to fix the problem. And that's bottom line where I was, where I was in. that I just felt that if James would just go to church and if we would come in as a family and be able to have devotion time, that everything else was just going to fix itself. And is not a ⁓ fix-all kind of thing. ⁓ that's where you have to lean into God and be able to really see his purpose in the season that you're giving and really be able to utilize it for what it needs to be. And I realized it was because I needed to find my own faith first before I could find my faith for my family and for my husband. And that a big thing. So in our own journey, we've already ⁓ it, ⁓ worked So that was a completely different, I feel like it's a unique situation in itself versus a lot of people. I know that a lot of people also go through the path that we have. So, you know, I just expected that when I got married the relationship we had before, everything was going to go away and that James was going to be this perfect husband and perfect father ⁓ that I was going to be this perfect wife and I could check all the boxes. just for us to be able to provide the way that we needed to for our family. But I mean, that led us down a really bad path. And it just brought us into a really difficult season ⁓ that, I ended up with us being separated for eight years. I mean, eight months, not eight years. So. when I had those high expectations, I was continuing to disappoint myself because that was not what we were supposed to be doing. So the truth is no person or situation can satisfy the deepest longings of our hearts only Christ can do that. And that's the realization that I needed. So then that way then I could fix myself and fix my problems and not have them as they were just James's problems. So we build our lives around anything other than Jesus, we're always going to let ourselves down. Stephanie Petry: That is so well said. ⁓ and I know it's something that, you know, takes continuous practice. It's not a one and done kind of thing. ⁓ and I think too, just realizing the importance a lot of times when we're pointing fingers at our spouse or we think that they are the problem, ⁓ we're just honestly, we're honestly not even looking at where we're bringing sin into the situation and relationship either. Nicole Ghirardi: Correct. Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: and so I think when you say that you need to focus on Christ, you need to focus on your own faith first. it ⁓ you you kind of have to flip that script of ⁓ if Adam would just if Adam would just help me clean the house, ⁓ well, what is my response when he doesn't? You know, how am I responding? What am I withholding? You know, what if I what if I responded with ⁓ with grace? What if I Nicole Ghirardi: Right. Stephanie Petry: didn't respond. What if I kept my mouth shut sometimes, you know? and so I think that we have to realize that we have responsibility and we bring things to the relationship too. It's not just the other spouse. ⁓ and our job is to respect our husbands and our job is to love our husbands. And that is going to be something that sometimes we need the we need the grace of God to do when we don't feel like it. ⁓ Nicole Ghirardi: Yes. Thank Right. Stephanie Petry: Because we are not gonna feel like it 100% of the time. You have to choose commitment because it's a covenant. So one of the biggest myths, ⁓ so I did a journey Bible study, is what it's called. It's by Randy Pope. ⁓ and we did it with three other couples. and these couples were married for various times, and all had kids, and we all had it was a wide range of ages. Nicole Ghirardi: Thanks, man. Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: So it was nice because we had some that have been married for a while. We've had some that were married about the same amount of time that we were. We had some with littles, we had some with olders. so it was just a ⁓ brought really great perspective when we would have conversations. ⁓ one of the whole sections of this journey Bible study was about marriage. And it talked about the myths of marriage. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. . Stephanie Petry: So just that there's a myth that we believe that marriage will meet our deepest needs, as Nicole, you already said. but the reality is Jesus can only satisfy that longing and that we are created with. And we were designed for glory, for fullness, for complete satisfaction. That's why we crave it so much. And that was never meant to come from another person. That was never meant to come from a spouse. Nicole Ghirardi: Yes. Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: It is a it's one of the biggest myths out there that you're not complete until you are married. when we place that expectation on a spouse, it creates pressure that they were never meant to carry. ⁓ and it and in singleness, it can create this feeling that life hasn't fully started yet. But both of those mindsets pull away from the truth because whether you're married or single, your deepest needs are already met in Christ. Start there. Start there. Nicole Ghirardi: Thank And so instead of asking what can the season give me, I think the better question becomes what is God forming in me through this season? Stephanie Petry: There's that what question again. ⁓ I always I I always love that one. And so what is it that that you are teaching me, Lord? ⁓ so I want to speak specifically to marriage for a moment because I think it's often misunderstood even in Christian spaces. Marriage was never designed to function on feelings alone. ⁓ and neither is faith, by the way. your feelings often are not aligned with God's truth. love is a commitment. It is anchored in obedience to God and supported by emotion, but not led by it. Emotion should be that tool that something is off. but it doesn't mean that it's right. so it doesn't mean it's true. Nicole Ghirardi: I'm leaving. Thank Stephanie Petry: So just because you just because you got upset about something doesn't mean that person was trying to offend. It doesn't mean that it ⁓ had to become a fight, right? And so sometimes we just have to check our emotions. What do we know to be true of this person? Why do we love them to begin with? and scripture gives us a really clear picture of that in Ephesians five, especially when it charges husbands and wives. As wives, though, since that's what we are. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Thank Stephanie Petry: We are called to respect and come alongside our husbands, not because we are less than, but because we were created with purposeful role as their helper. That's what Eve was created for in Genesis. And just like Jesus is willingly submitted to the Father, not out of weakness, but out of unity and purpose. So was also in that journey study. And you know, the word submissive can be a huge trigger word for women. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm hmm. Stephanie Petry: but it really isn't, and if you are if you dig in and you and you really study it in the in aligns with scripture. And when I was reading how ⁓ submitted himself to God the Father, and we know that God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, it's a trinity, right? And so they ⁓ have their own specific role. They have their own specific role, but they are united as one. So when if Jesus can submit to the Father, Nicole Ghirardi: Mm hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: And he did so on our behalf, then we can submit to our husbands. It doesn't mean that we are less than, it means that we are with our husband. I just it's just something to kind of click and save. But in the same way, ⁓ we are equal in value, but we have different roles within marriage. ⁓ you know, men are supposed to be the spiritual head of the home, and women, we are supposed to respect our husbands, and that means elevate and encourage them. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: ⁓ and a helper is not a small role. It is a strong, intentional, God designed role. and you can live it well. You just often have to get out of your own way because our heads are we want to ⁓ our husbands a lot. We want to control a lot. it's coming alongside, supporting, encouraging, building them up, reminding them who they are in Christ ⁓ is a really great way to do that as well. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm hmm. Stephanie Petry: And at the same time, ⁓ husbands are called love us sacrificially. ⁓ that's to lead, to serve, and to care in a way that reflects Christ. marriage works when both are living out their roles with selfless hearts and obedience to God, not perfectly, but faithfully. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: We don't respect our husbands because they deserve it. We respect them because God calls us to. ⁓ and you know, just even fluff that out a little bit, tease it out a little bit. if if your husband is doing something that irritates you ⁓ you're just starting to nag him about the irritance of it, then that's going to lead to this snowball effect of conflict. Whereas if he says something that irritates you. Nicole Ghirardi: Okay. Okay. Okay. Stephanie Petry: I'm not saying that you just negate it. You can say that that hurt your feelings or whatever it was, but then you are going to love him through it. And if you react in a gentle way, it's still respectful rather than having to, you know, do a snide remark or something. Like that's that's often where I like to go with snide remarks. That's why I said that. but instead, if you just meet it with gentleness. Nicole Ghirardi: And then. Stephanie Petry: You can name that it hurt your feelings or that you received it a certain way, but that allows for reconciliation. That allows for him to either calm down or to even say, like, that was not my intent, that you you heard something I didn't say. And we do that a lot, ladies. Just saying. Nicole Ghirardi: Well, well, well, well said friend. I wanna just bring back the submissive keyword that you did because you are so true that we take that and make it the worst word possible for women. And ⁓ what you said was such a great reminder that... we have to look at it in a whole different other way and that it's just a really good reminder for a lot of us because we look at it as, ⁓ then he's just in charge and there's say and that we play as, ⁓ and then course men love to play it ⁓ the negative as well, but. ⁓ It's just remembering to go back to God's word and to really lean into what the meaning is in through the Bible versus what the meaning is in the slang that the world has made it know, faithfulness in any season starts with pursuing the intimacy ⁓ with above all else. ⁓ And I that truly that really means prioritizing prayer, reading the Word, and being in a community with other believers. And that is me just experiencing that myself. You know, that it really does play a huge factor in our marriage. you know, we're ⁓ leaning into this. I mean, and James and I are really still learning ⁓ to put God as the center of our lives ⁓ above all God is first, then our spouse, then our children. So we're learning this and that, know, back to where I said I have to work on my faith first before I can work on faith for others. And, you know, not that I can make James the, you know, following Christ the way that I want him to. It's just more influencing that letting him see what I do and letting my kids see what I do is how I'm doing that in my aspect. But, know, and so the way that I do it in our marriage is that, you know, I work through my Roots Morning Journal every morning. So I take that and I utilize it in our marriage by sending James a little response of the scripture and my devotion. ⁓ And is my way of starting my day off on the right foot, but also then leaning into him. And that way he can utilize it the way that he wants to. ⁓ and to let him read it, let him think about it. If he responds, great. If he doesn't respond, that's okay too. It's just trying to get the understanding that this is what I do to lean into God and that James can utilize it or your spouse can do something completely different. So there's no right and wrong way of doing that, but that's just kind of in our marriage. That is how we're trying to make it part of God being the center of it versus just having it as a check, checkbox, because I feel like a lot of us still do. no matter your relationship status, your purpose is to glorify God ⁓ and reflect his to the world. ⁓ And that is how I feel that we can only do so much for ourselves and just be an example for others. And that's what I'm trying to do is to be an example for James. ⁓ So then that then he wants to ⁓ do the same. I read a book which I have my book actually. So this book right here is an amazing book. This is highly recommended by Stephanie Petrie. she recommended this a while ago and I have read it in and out as well as their devotion. It is called The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller. And it's an amazing book ⁓ for any marriage situation you have. ⁓ but we really dove into it with the hard season that we had last year. but The ⁓ what he says is is that the gospel is both painful and wonderful that it truly does apply with specifically in the season that we were in with our marriage, ⁓ it also can help with singleness. So they do bring a lot of that into play ⁓ with that. But I think that that's a great book if you are trying to seek you know, some just good reading. This is an amazing book for you to really dive into. ⁓ Stephanie Petry: Love it. And I think that you know, when we start to see marriage through a biblical lens, not as something that exists for us, but something that points us to Christ, it really can change how we show up in it and our responses too. So we have some practical ways to live out a grounded season in whatever season you are in, ⁓ regards to marriage or singleness. and so what are Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: These are the pra this is like Nicole's time to shine 'cause she is all about those practical steps. And so lay ⁓ on us, girl. Nicole Ghirardi: Okay, so of course I always bring four. first and foremost, this is meant for like Stephanie said, any season that you're going through, if you're single, you're married, whatever the case may be, but you have to prioritize your relationship with God. ⁓ and that's through daily prayer ⁓ and scripture reading ⁓ and ⁓ this is where I'm gonna say that if you don't have this routine in place, Roots Journal is gonna be the key that we at Grounded Growth have created to help implement that. so I highly recommend it. It's a great starting point, but you have to be able to have that personal relationship. and I really seek that a lot through my daily prayer and my scripture readings ⁓ and know, just talking out to God, you know, throughout the day. ⁓ ⁓ the next practical tip is seeking out a community of believers who can encourage and challenge you in your faith. And I actually stole this from Stephanie, so this isn't really my practical tip to give you, but Stephanie's ⁓ because she continues to do this for me. but ⁓ you it's it's night and day. And I really do think that you being around other ⁓ singles that are faith based and in that same community or being in a group of you know marriage and like spouses of being with all of that you then start wanting to to do those things for yourself and for your marriage or and I think that that's so strong ⁓ that you know we we circle ourselves around people we want to be like ⁓ that is being like a community of you know those faith based marriages where they put Stephanie Petry: Okay. Nicole Ghirardi: God in the center of it versus it just saying, hey, I go to church every weekend. look for opportunities to serve others and use your gifts to bless your church and your community. I think that that's such a good ⁓ aspect of, you know, not only to be able to take away from your community what they do, but you can also then give back so that you are the life giving ⁓ and being a role model for other people. last but not least is practice gratitude and contentment, focusing on God's goodness in your current circumstances. So, you know, we're we're all in our seasons for a reason ⁓ and understanding that and being still in that moment, ⁓ which is a hard thing for me to be because I'm that planner and I need to know God, why are you doing ⁓ what doing in my life right now? and sometimes God doesn't answer right away. Actually, most of the time, he does not. So, but ⁓ I think those really those four practical things, I mean, literally you can take that and implement it in so many other ways. I mean, even for kids, like doing the things like for children and things. ⁓ so but those are my four four practical ways of staying grounded in the season that you're doing. Stephanie Petry: And just reminding you that God not answering right away is an answer. ⁓ and so what do you what are you doing with that? What are you doing with that? All right. ⁓ I had another resource as you were talking. Another really great one that Adam and I like to use is praying for your spouse. Five things to pray for your spouse. It's by Melissa and Michael Krueger. ⁓ and it was it takes like a Nicole Ghirardi: I know, I know. Right. Stephanie Petry: takes like a scripture or a passage of scripture and then it gives you like actual five points to pray through for your spouse. So the idea is is that you sit together and you do that for each other in prayer. ⁓ Nicole Ghirardi: Love that. Stephanie Petry: whether you are married or single, the foundation is the same. Seek Christ first. so if you are married, just communicate love and respect in a way that your spouse actually receives it. That's the key there. ⁓ for ways to serve and not just be served. ⁓ pray together, even if it feels simple or even imperfect. ⁓ and build friendship with your spouse. Have fun, talk. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Uh-huh. Stephanie Petry: connect, come up with a hobby together, binge watch a show together. Like, but make sure you're snuggling on the couch. You're not in separate areas. Like, you, you know, this is this is a this is forever friend for you. So if you're single, your life is not on pause. ⁓ you are being shaped right now. Invest in your relationship with the Lord deeply because you're preparing who you are in Christ for this spouse that He is going to provide for you. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: and then build meaningful Christ-centered community around you that's not just going to be pushing you to get married all the time, but sees you for who you are in Christ. ⁓ and then for both, for all of us, don't wait for your circumstances to change in order to live faithfully. faithfulness is lived out in the small daily choices that you make. Nicole Ghirardi: And at the core of all of this is something deeper than routines or mindset. And it's about where we place our identity and our trust. So that brings us to our scripture for this episode. It is Philippians 4:11. have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. Stephanie Petry: Hmm. That's hard. ⁓ Paul says that he learned contentment. It didn't come naturally. and I love I love that he put that because it's not something that just comes natural to us. It is something that we often have to learn through struggle. It is something we often have to learn through hardship is contentment. contentment isn't about having everything you want either. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: It's about trusting God and what you've been given. And if God has given this or placed this circumstance in your life, He will use it for your good and for His glory. But you may not understand it. That's not that's not part of that scripture, just so you know. You are not lacking. You are not incomplete. You are not waiting to become whole. Your spouse is not your provider of identity, of peace or fulfillment. God is. Period, the end. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Mm. ⁓ Stephanie Petry: So when you feel that you have unmet needs, the question should become am I looking to my spouse for something only God can give? this doesn't dismiss real struggles in marriage. there are real hurts that need to be addressed, but even in those places, God is still at work. and we are still called to faithfulness, always, not because our spouse has earned it, but because we are walking in obedience to the Lord. ⁓ faithful obedience is something I keep pondering and thinking about and praying for ⁓ because being having faithful obedience means that I am choosing God in the situation, not my feelings. ⁓ and sometimes that faithfulness becomes a quiet testimony. in 1 Peter 3, conduct can reflect Christ in ways that soften hearts and points back to Him. So we talked about earlier how we are not in charge of anyone's salvation. That is not it. But when we are complete in Christ, when we know who our identity is in, and we have this inner peace and assurance of faith, ⁓ and we start practicing faithful obedience, that is what's going to be sharing Christ-likeness with others. It's not hitting them up the upside the head with Bible verses or Nicole Ghirardi: ⁓ that's paying. Uh-huh. ⁓ Stephanie Petry: you know, being Bible thumpers. It's not that. It's how you're choosing to respond, how you're choosing to live your life, how you're choosing to love others. and so your identity is not single Christian or a married Christian. It is, I am a Christian. I am rooted in Christ. God is not waiting for your life to start when your relationship status changes. He is actively working right now in you. Both marriage and singleness are opportunities to reflect Him. neither is more valuable, just different assignments. faith allows us to trust that where we are is not random either. It's purposeful even when we don't fully understand it yet. So just trust in him. Nicole Ghirardi: Well said, friend. Gosh, you are a book of knowledge, my friend. You really are. So Kind of adding on to Steph's ⁓ points is is really is is contentment isn't about getting what we want. And we have to remember that. And that it's trusting God with what he has given us. and really our identity and our worth, like Steph said, isn't you know, defined by our relationship status ⁓ or performance ⁓ of role. And I think that that we have to remember that too, is is that. ⁓ ⁓ it's not about how we perform in that as a wife or as a mom, or you know, and I feel like a lot of women do that. when we find ourselves looking to our spouse or our circumstance for fulfillment, we need to ask ⁓ I looking to something other than God to satisfy me? And that is something that ⁓ think I struggle with a lot because you know. It's I have to remind myself that because we have these expectations and all of these worldly things and we need to be leaning on what we're looking for in what God wants us to and what our purpose is. And so even in the hardest moments of being married or in singleness, God is still working and refining us day in and day out. And we have to remember that and that our ultimate purpose is to reflect Christ. And bring him glory no matter what season of the life that we're in right now. Stephanie Petry: So instead of focusing on what's missing and what feels hard, maybe it is that we come back to this question. What does faithfulness look like for me right here and right now? So let's go ahead and start closing this thing. What are our last little points? Nicole Ghirardi: Yeah. So wherever you find yourself today, know that God sees you He has a purpose for this season. and that's just really a reminder for myself, day in and day out, and that ⁓ our status doesn't define us. You are first and foremost a beloved child of God. so what I really you to kind of take away is surround yourself with a community that points you back to Christ, no matter the marital status that you have. really have them be a community that encourages you to grow. and trust God is writing a beautiful story with your life, even when the chapters are really unexpected or ⁓ really, really challenging. Stephanie Petry: Because it's in those unexpected and challenging moments where he is stretching your faith and he's really trying to work in you some maybe some sin that you have or maybe something that you need to eradicate in your life. and so that's called sanctification, the more you keep growing in your spiritual maturity. I just want to encourage you that wherever you are right now, this season is not wasted. Nicole Ghirardi: Martin. Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: ⁓ it is very purposeful and sometimes you just need to seek God's purpose in it. ⁓ and just remember that every relationship is an opportunity to reflect Christ. ⁓ again, you're not going to do it perfectly, but you can be intentional about bringing Christ into it. if you're singled, I don't want you to feel forgotten. Life is full of purpose right now for you too, not later. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: so don't for don't neglect your ⁓ pouring in to God's word and in prayer and find a local church. you don't need a different circumstance to live a meaningful, God-glorifying life. First Corinthians 1031 says, Whatever you do, do all for the glory of God. That means that your marriage, your singleness, your daily life, all of them are opportunities to reflect Him. So next episode, we're gonna be talking about. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: parenting with grace instead of pressure. So I hope you tune in next week and we will see you then. Bye.