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Healing the Mother Wound with Rev. Chelle · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
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  things that really matter in our lives.
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  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:33
  Hi, everyone.
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  It's Roxanne Derhodge authentically living with Roxanne.
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  Thanks for tuning again in again, this week.
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  Today, I have a guest rev Shell, and, rev does some pretty fascinating work, involving women.
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  So I'm just gonna read what, you know, her bio says a bit, and she's gonna tell us a little
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  bit more about her.
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  She basically is guided to, emotionally conscious women as they connect the dots
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  between their mother wound to issues like relationships, careers, finances, fertility,
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  health and parenting.
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  So the overall systems that would impact their life, and she does this in various ways by
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  paradigm shifting, which is evidence based trauma informed healing experience that breaks
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  generational and subconscious styles cycles, sorry, of pain between mothers and their
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  daughters.
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  So, Rachael, tell tell the listeners a little bit about your backgrounds because, obviously,
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  you do a lot of trauma related work, but you've got a fascinating background that you've been
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  with me.
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  So share with, the listeners what kind a bit about your actual background.
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  Sure.
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  Thank you so much Roxanne for having me on your show.
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  I appreciate it.
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  I'm glad to here.
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  I think this is such a timely conversation with everything that's going on in the world.
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  So, I am an actual full service metaphysical minister a minister of, like, what I like to
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  call a minister of the Wu.
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  It's really, I do a lot of spiritual counseling, energetic counseling, and that.
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  I am a family constellation facilitator as well as a clinical hypnotist.
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  And so the work that I do, with mothers and daughters and healing the mother wound comes
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  from the that framework, and I use those particular tools.
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  And I can talk a little bit more about what those tools are and how they all work together,
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  in healing the mother 1, if you like?
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  Absolutely.
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  Because I, you know, I I I'm thinking that I'm not sure exactly what it means.
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  K.
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  So I think if I'm thinking it, I'm sure others listening are like, oh, that sounds
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  interesting, but what is it?
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  Like, what's the mother wound?
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  Right?
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  And what's what's family consolation?
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  Those types of things.
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  So, obviously, in our clinical kind of spiritual circles, we might understand it, but
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  sometimes people are tuning in because they just wanna learn a little bit more based on
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  what we're discussing.
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  So you share with us and explain to us as best as possible what what these things mean.
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  Absolutely.
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  So, let's start.
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  So a mother wound is really represent represents the wound and and really the story
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  that we hold internally and even the body held generational and childhood trauma that we carry
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  associated with the way that we were either over mothered or under mothered.
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  And so we classify that as a mother wound.
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  And there are lots of other diff different definitions.
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  You know, there are collective definitions of the mother wound and how patriarchy affects
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  that.
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  I my wheelhouse tends to be individual family systems and individual people.
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  And so that's the the framework that I that come from.
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  Really, at the core of it, our first love relationship our first understanding of
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  relationship, love, and connection is that with our mother.
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  And, and that would be with our birth mother.
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  And so this can apply to people who were raised by their mother, even people who were, maybe
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  adopted or were not raised by their birth mother, the ways that that relationship
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  happened and manifested absolutely affects us for the rest of our life.
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  It's the way that we learn attachment.
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  It's the way that we learn trust and nurturing.
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  And, it's the way that we learn boundaries or lack of them.
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  It just affects so many ways that we operate in the world.
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  And so what I like to do when, the work that I do with my clients is, have a client who comes
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  to me and they'll say something like, you know, every, every relationship that I have, I tend
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  to get walked over and nobody respects me.
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  And, you know, they end up cheating on me and they leave.
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  Right?
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  Okay.
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  Alright.
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  Normally, we would just hold that as our own personal failure and relationships.
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  And what I try to do with clients is, through the family constellation model is two parts.
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  It's one part family mapping and it's one part family constellations.
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  So family mapping is, it's the process in which we use core language, very specific questions.
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  Body awareness to really map the, generational story that we carry from us to our mother, to
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  our grandmother.
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  And how this trauma that we think we carry personally really has probably sat in our
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  family system for generations.
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  And so family mapping is the process of uncovering the facts of the family and putting
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  that story together so we can understand where the root of our issue goes back through, what I
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  call the family soul being a minister or what some people would call family systems.
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  It's kind of the same thing.
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  So potentially it might lead into if I, let's say I'm in a relationship and I think I'm not
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  good enough, like, to your point, I might be that may be a thought just hanging in the air,
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  and I'm not finding the roots or the story that may have been passed on potentially from say my
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  maternal grandmother to my mother to me.
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  Yeah.
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  And then it kind of shows up in a relationship.
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  Is that what you mean?
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  Exactly.
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  Exactly.
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  Okay.
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  So I'm not good enough.
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  You know, I the first relationship that we look at is, you know, how would you describe mom?
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  And the words that you use to describe the members of your family, your mom, and your dad
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  really tell a lot about that relationship.
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  And then we go a little bit deeper, and there's some other qualifying questions that ask.
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  And it's really like the mapping session is a really intense intake session.
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  And then once we have all the facts of the family, we start to connect the dots.
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  And so I'm not good enough, you know, traces back to mom who didn't feel good enough, who
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  traces back to grandma who tried her best to please her mom, And and, you know, this is a
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  real simplified version of it, but there are all these pieces that just weave together where
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  there's this generational story of I'm not ever good enough.
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  And so, no, I don't need to have boundaries because I need you to love me.
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  And, no, I don't need to have self esteem because why?
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  You know, there's all these and we can usually pinpoint very clear moments in time where that
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  trauma happened or that break happened, or there's a specific incident where that that
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  story got cemented down either in our body or our mother's body or, you know, grandmother's
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  body.
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  And it was just carried epigenetically, down through the system.
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  So once we have that system understanding, we really then get to create the way and
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  understand the way that we carry that story internally.
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  And so constellations then become an experiential moment where we get to take that
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  story and really bring it out of our body.
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  So depending upon whether we're working in a group or whether we're working individually, we
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  get to have what we call healing conversations that shift the energy, the way that we hold
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  that story, and hopefully find resolution.
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  So some of that might look like, speaking words that you needed to speak, speaking generational
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  words that you needed to speak, passing back the responsibility of carrying that pain back
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  to the person that it o that is is it owns it, right, where it originated, shifting that that
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  responsibility back.
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  It looks like sitting with an emotion that maybe you have long denied or maybe that you
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  have long buried and allowing it to be honored.
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  So that it's not sitting in there festering in your body, you know, for for however long it's
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  been there.
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  It's about then working energetically to move that that emotion, that story out of your body
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  into action.
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  So maybe it will be really somatic practice is what I'm talking about here.
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  So whatever your body leads you to movement it leads you to complete is usually where where
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  you go.
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  For some people that's, crying for some people that's rocking back and forth, for some people
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  that's going on a long run, for some people that's heavy exercise for some people.
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  It's just meditating.
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  And so whatever your body is leading you to do is how it's leading you to complete that story
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  and move into resolution.
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  Then I use, clinical hypnosis with clients to then after we've worked in the system of the
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  family through the story, through the constellation.
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  And then, I work with my clients using hypnosis to then, for lack of a better word, disconnect
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  the triggers, unroot, the subconscious connections that we have to that story.
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  So that we can move forward in a new story and in healing.
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  And so those 3 tools together, make up the body of work that I use in mother wound healing.
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  So let's let's go back to something basic.
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  And this is a very basic thing for you and I based on our backgrounds But define a trigger
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  to someone that maybe they're listening to this going, what?
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  What is what is she talking about?
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  Yeah.
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  So what what is the trigger?
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  Because you know, sometimes people just assume that that's part of them.
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  You know, I may I'm I'm an angry person.
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  I'm a depressed person.
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  I'm an overreactive person, or I'm I'm overly sensitive, and it becomes an attribute that
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  they internalize as being like, something that has always been.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  So would you mind describing that to people so that they understand?
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  Yeah.
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  Okay.
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  So a trigger when we when we experience something that disrupts our nervous system,
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  right?
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  And we'll, and we'll use we'll use something there's all kinds of triggers, but we're gonna
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  use something that that would be more trauma centered.
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  So, something happens to us and, it disrupts our a nervous system.
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  We have an emotion connected to the memory of that event that then elicits within our body,
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  within our subconscious response that is meant to keep us safe.
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  So if there was something that you experienced as a child, you may have long forgot about it,
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  especially if it was, like, between, you know, in utero to maybe say 5 before the camp, this
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  really starts to organize memory.
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  Anything that we experience really sits in our body.
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  And so a lot of our triggers are we subconscious, and we have no idea what they are
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  until we start doing healing work.
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  But let's just say you were, abused as a child.
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  And there was a very specific incident that really was the crux of your dysregulation.
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  Maybe during that time, you created an affinity or a connection to a smell or somebody, to a
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  smell of like a person or an environment or, somebody said that you pick out a word from
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  that time, you, connect visually to an image And so it's something that, you see feel here
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  to touch, something that you experience has has a potential to take you years later right back
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  to that emotional place that you felt during that moment where you were being harmed.
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  And so when we're talking about the family systems and we're talking about the
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  constellation work, we can work in the family systems, but unless we actually kind of pull
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  out that triggering event and disconnect the emotion from the sensation or the emotion from,
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  the the event you're always gonna be connected to that through a trigger.
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  Hypnosis is a really good way to disconnect that trigger.
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  From that event so that you can deal with it just as a memory alone without the
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  coordinating, emotion that elicits that response, that anxiety, that depression, that,
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  that whatever manifestation of that trigger has within you.
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  So that's pretty fascinating.
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  So let's now talk about hypnosis.
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  So you, you know, we figure out the person's trigger, you go back, you tell the narrative of
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  the generational narrative about kind of why they may have developed this trigger.
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  And then you go back to, you know, having them rooted in their body, potentially, timeline
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  wise, not unlike what we do in EMDR, which is kind of doing a trauma timeline.
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  And then like you said, you know, prior to the formal, memory development under age seven.
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  Most of it is stored in the body.
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  Yeah.
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  And then sometimes people go, have no reason to believe that this is affecting but my heart's
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  racing or, you know, all those things, all all those autonomic things that get triggered when
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  it's not conscious.
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  So how do you then because, you know, not not knowing a lot about hypnotherapy.
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  I know bits, but not a lot of it.
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  How do you then use hypnole hypnotherapy, to kind of help them.
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  I'm gonna use the word re imprint or, disassociate in a positive way with with the
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  event.
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  So, I'm I'm training in a particular type of, hip hypnotherapy, called cellular release and
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  cellular command.
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  And cellular release uses a, an idiomoder response while in hypnosis where myself and my
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  client communicates, and makes an agreement to, with their subconscious to release their
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  connection to this trigger or to this event.
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  And so when hypnosis, how hypnosis works is it really helps you to relax so deeply that we can
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  bypass the conscious mind to get into the subconscious mind, which is where all these
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  triggers are are held.
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  Right?
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  And so once we once we get there, There's a series of questions.
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  There's a protocol that I follow that helps you to then agree, to release your connection to
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  that trigger to that event to, you know, disconnect the emotion.
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  That's really the icing on the cake because we've done so much pre work with this with the
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  mapping part of it where we actually you get to cognitively understand why you are the way you
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  are and why you react the way you react.
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  And then we go through to the the, constellation, which is really the somatic
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  cementing of that that that story in your body.
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  We've done work around how to create a new story out of that.
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  And so the hypnotic work is really just the icing on the cake that says after I've done all
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  this work, my I'm gonna make sure that my subconscious also agrees to release this
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  trigger.
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  And so it's just that, you know, our subconsciousists are just magnificent They're
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  very basic and very simple, but they're also magnificent protectors of us.
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  And so if our subconscious can understand that there's a new story that can protect us, they
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  can release the old story, which is the trigger that was meant to protect us.
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  So it's a matter of releasing 1 and replacing it with a new story of being protected.
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  Let's go back to my example that I've if I feel like I'm not good enough.
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  Yeah.
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  And you've done the consolation, you've done the somatic release, which ends somatic means
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  the body.
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  The body generally stores the emotion somewhere, you know, and then sometimes the
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  body holds on to it, and that's the last part to go.
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  And then eventually you release it somehow.
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  Yeah.
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  In your your technique, EMDR kind of like similar but different.
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  Yeah.
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  And then, you got to the point where then you can have the person when the thought comes up
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  again from Michelle, then then how does the hypnosis impact?
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  I'm not good enough.
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  Like, what what how just because I'm trying to understand it in my brain, and I'm assuming
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  others listening or trying to kind of line it up also.
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  Well, the
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  purpose of hip hypnosis is to, reinvent the message that your subconscious is carrying.
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  So I'm I'm not I'm not quite sure.
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  I think we're speaking the same language, just having a little bit different conversations,
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  but the time we get there and you are you are consciously, I mean, now subconsciously in
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  agreement that this is, no longer going to be what drives you what elicits that response to
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  subconscious mind will fall in line with that.
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  And so what happens when we when we when we do, you know, a a hypnotic release, it just
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  disconnects that that trigger from that memory.
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  And so you just get to experience that memory as a memory alone with no emotion connected to
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  it.
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  So you can observe it like you're order.
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  You can observe it.
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  Like, you can see it happening across the street, but you don't feel like you're in it
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  and your body's not responding like you're in it because you connect disconnected those,
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  those those triggers, those lines of connection to the emotion in the event, if that makes
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  sense.
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  So when you're in this situation again and someone is trying to make you feel not good
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  enough Mhmm.
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  But it's them trying to make you not feel good enough.
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  You're able to kind of almost separate yourself from the situation to say, this isn't about
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  this isn't about me.
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  It doesn't land the same.
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  That that fertile soil that that used to receive that that comment or used to receive
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  that emotion or that feeling doesn't exist anymore.
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  It's now healed up.
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  And what's been placed in there is self love, self appreciation, boundaries, an understanding
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  of systems and how they work and what's yours and what's not yours.
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  So the foundation in which you operate just starts to shift And the what used to hit you
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  doesn't hit you the same.
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  I like that.
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  I like that because it's it's on and like I said, I do EMDR, which is about the same
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  things.
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  Right?
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  Because it's almost like it's like it's like a plug that, you know, and and all of a sudden
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  you you unplug it Yep.
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  And it's lost its charge.
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  And if you put it back together again, there's not that same charge anymore.
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  It's like you said, it's the it's so you can look at it.
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  You can look at it and go, oh, that did happen.
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  Yeah.
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  But my reaction to it is different.
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  I kinda look at it in a different way and Exactly.
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  Don't blame myself and recognize I was five years old, or my parent was not available or
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  there maybe wasn't the safety that was needed and things like that.
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  So people can dialogue in a bit of a different way.
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  With the size.
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  Yeah.
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  And especially with mother wound healing, the big part of that, like the post work, the
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  homework part of it is understanding what does it mean to then, do a couple of things.
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  Number 1, allow your mother to love you in the way that she can love you versus the way you
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  expect her to love you because though that disconnect right there is such a a source of
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  heartbreak and heartache for mom and daughter, but it also allows you to then step into the
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  position as an adult to then reparent and to, really connect with the inner child within you,
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  and it helps you to recognize when you're responding from your wounded inner child versus
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  responding as the adult you.
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  And so when you start to respond as from your wounded inner child, you recognize it in a
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  different way than maybe you wouldn't before, and you can calm and soothe and reassure and do
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  all the things that you used to pull and need mom to do, you actually get to learn how to do
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  it for yourself.
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  And that's a big part of the, you know, the the final piece of this is what does it then mean
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  to repair you're in her child.
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  So you can soothe yourself with the things that you didn't have because your mom potentially,
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  you know, she gave you what she good with what she had in front of her at that time.
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  Exactly.
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  Yeah.
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  Exactly.
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  So let's let's talk about, fear and love, right, and talk a little bit about the state
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  that we're now with with the all the uncertainty and things like that and kind of
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  talk about how this may be impacting people.
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  So I we know that everybody, you know, obviously, we've we're social beings.
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  We're accustomed to having those, you know, face to face connections as mammals.
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  We need that to be able to but we've kinda now had to withdraw and learn how to kind of do
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  that, you know, in different ways virtually and some people that maybe are struggling were
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  struggling before.
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  I'm I'm gonna assume they're struggling a little bit more.
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  So tell tell me what you, I mean, what you know with you with your, science and maybe, you
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  know, what kind of things maybe people might be experiencing that they're not understanding why
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  they're being as impacted about the element of fear and where the the state of the world is
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  right now.
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  Yeah.
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  So a couple things I wanna say before we start.
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  That's number 1.
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  I I think we have to start with the place, and a lot of people don't know this or don't
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  understand it, is start with the play the place of we are all connected and what happens to one
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  happens to the other.
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  And there is a collective energy that is impacting right now, the planet in a way that
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  it's never done before, or not in our lifetime, I should say.
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  And so we're a new territory, completely new territory for most of us.
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  And so we have that understanding.
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  Perhaps it can help us usher in a little bit of in the way that we deal with each other and the
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  way that we deal with our family members that, you know, are on top of each other right now
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  and the ways that we have no space to move about.
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  It's just that we are all, we're all in this.
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  And the another thing is that understanding, I, you know, I, as a as a minister, as a
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  practitioner.
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  I look at things from the mind body spirit connect or, you know, perspective.
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  And, so that was the, you know, that was the spirit perspective, right?
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  Spiritually, we're all connected, energetically, we're all connected.
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  Body wise, there are very physical things happening in the in the world right now.
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  People are absolutely getting ill.
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  People are absolutely dying.
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  There are physical needs that are not being met with jobs and money and and and all that stuff
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  is very real.
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  Right?
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  So none none of this is meant to negate any of that because it is all very real.
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  But there's this emotional, part of what's happening right now as well.
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  And all three of these are all connected.
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  Right?
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  So we all have to balance all of that within our own personalized our own families and in
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  our own communities and ultimately the world.
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  But emotionally, I think what, is happening right now, and and I think for me, and I'm
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  gonna talk for myself, because I think that this is this really is a collective issue, is,
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  With all the collective emotional unrest that's happening, people are not feeling safe, people
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  are not feeling secure, We don't know what normal looks like anymore.
• 22:42
  All the there's a lot of grief, a lot of anger.
• 22:45
  And so our nervous systems are overtaxed and hyper vigilant right now.
• 22:50
  They are just working on overdrive.
• 22:52
  And so we don't, I think that's the biggest part of what is happening right now.
• 22:58
  And so nobody, so what we're experiencing with people in their anger and their frustration is
• 23:04
  really their inability to self regulate because there's so much of it right now and self
• 23:09
  regulating is, I'm sorry.
• 23:14
  I hate to interrupt, and I hope you can edit this out.
• 23:16
  But right in front of my door, the gardeners are going by with a blower.
• 23:23
  That's okay.
• 23:23
  It's part it's a part of it's part of being authentic, Reginald.
• 23:27
  There you go.
• 23:28
  I just want
• 23:28
  to make
• 23:28
  sure you can hear me.
• 23:30
  That's okay.
• 23:31
  I guess you're doing your job.
• 23:32
  That's
• 23:32
  alright.
• 23:33
  Right?
• 23:33
  Why why why edit it out?
• 23:35
  It's what's happening.
• 23:36
  It's Alright then.
• 23:38
  So, so so what I'm what I'm being tasked with and what I'm being nudged to do is, how to have
• 23:44
  the conversation about what's creating that internal safety and that internal, normal is
• 23:54
  for us now.
• 23:55
  Like, what's the baseline?
• 23:56
  What because we used to have a baseline, but now what's the baseline for us to be able to
• 24:01
  find this safe and secure place within ourselves, so that we can self regulate so that
• 24:07
  we can then help our children self regulate so that we can then you know, bring that into the
• 24:13
  community just in our, you know, our minimal interactions with community.
• 24:15
  But how do we self regulate so we can then shift the energy that's in the collective right
• 24:20
  now?
• 24:23
  What I do know is if our foundation kind of going back to mother wound, right, if our
• 24:30
  foundation is one of uncertainty is one of trauma is one of abuse or being not safe or not
• 24:36
  having our needs met, if we grew up with food and security.
• 24:39
  If we grew up with parents who, had, employment insecurity, this time right now is especially
• 24:48
  triggering.
• 24:49
  And, it's normal, I think, for people to respond with some of the ways that they are
• 24:56
  responding.
• 24:58
  But how do we regulate that?
• 25:00
  Right?
• 25:00
  What is it that we can do?
• 25:02
  So, you know, I only I know the tools that I use, you know, a lot of breath work, spending
• 25:09
  time quiet, disconnecting, like, absolute I'm not saying don't be informed because, you know,
• 25:15
  there's a lot going on.
• 25:16
  We gotta know what's going on.
• 25:17
  But really being intentional about where you get your media, how much media you digest, and
• 25:23
  and what you allow other people to to bring to you.
• 25:27
  Right?
• 25:28
  So, you know, I'm in a spiritual community.
• 25:31
  We tend to be really ripe with conspiracy theories and all kinds of stuff, and I'm like,
• 25:37
  people.
• 25:39
  I'm only I'm only gonna listen to this much.
• 25:42
  Right.
• 25:43
  I mean, I'm a hosting practitioner, but I also believe in science.
• 25:45
  Because science and holistic and energy work is really they really do go hand in hand with each
• 25:49
  other.
• 25:50
  They're not disconnected from each other.
• 25:52
  And so I need to hear what are the doctors saying?
• 25:55
  How do we how do we heal this within our body?
• 25:57
  So limit the amount of information that you intake, and that might mean setting some
• 26:00
  boundaries with people around you.
• 26:02
  Absolutely.
• 26:03
  And and to speak to the element of, epigenetics.
• 26:06
  Yeah.
• 26:07
  What we know is what we internalize.
• 26:09
  And epigenetics, the founder of epigenetics you know, is Bruce Lipston, and he recently he did
• 26:15
  a 2 hour, webinar the other day that I I I listened to the replay.
• 26:19
  And what he talked about was like, yes.
• 26:22
  We know this is real.
• 26:23
  Right?
• 26:25
  However, what's more in hortents and the only thing we truly have to control over is our
• 26:30
  immunity.
• 26:31
  Yeah.
• 26:32
  And if you think about that, if we're all energy to what Rafael is saying, we need to be
• 26:38
  able to take care of our soul.
• 26:40
  We need to take a body.
• 26:42
  We need to thoughts on our emotions because after this is and we will get through this.
• 26:47
  We will get through this for sure, but it will be the the the the backdrop of all the people
• 26:54
  that have been stressing on survey.
• 26:57
  That's that's what good is gonna be the bigger epidemic in the in the long run because it's a
• 27:03
  health concerns if you're talking about people that have, you know, are not sleeping, people
• 27:08
  that are not doing the things to really nurture and be kind to themselves.
• 27:13
  People, their immunity is gonna be down, and that's the impact that we're gonna see after
• 27:17
  we've gone back to the new normal.
• 27:19
  Yep.
• 27:20
  Yep.
• 27:21
  Some some really good authors around epigenetics.
• 27:24
  Doctor.
• 27:25
  Georgia Groove, she wrote a book called Post Chematics Lace Syndrome, And she talks about
• 27:29
  the effects, the epigenetic effects of, enslavement here in the US on the black
• 27:35
  population.
• 27:37
  Rachel Yhuda talks about, the effects, the epigenetic effects of, Holocaust symptoms.
• 27:43
  And they're Mark Wolen, it didn't start with you, which really is was the foundation of the
• 27:48
  work that I do.
• 27:49
  I, I picked up a Mark Wolen book a few years ago, started to read it, put it down, ended up
• 27:54
  connecting with a person, for a podcast that I used to host, And, she was a student of Marx,
• 28:01
  and I learned my work through her.
• 28:04
  So, you know, I feel like Mark Wolen is like my, you know, family consolation, grandpa.
• 28:09
  Yeah.
• 28:10
  You know, the book, it didn't start with you.
• 28:12
  Really talks.
• 28:13
  This breaks down.
• 28:15
  Not just, what epigenetics are, but how you can use things like mapping and constellations in a
• 28:20
  core language approach to start to uncover some of those patterns and hidden royalties.
• 28:24
  So if you can send those names of those books, we'll put it in the show notes because I think
• 28:29
  people will probably be looking for a lot more resources once they kind of understand some of
• 28:34
  the things that we've discussed today.
• 28:36
  I I anticipate, out of this comes a generation, of children you know, if you think about women
• 28:44
  who are pregnant now, women who are birthing now, in the midst of all of this, there's a lot
• 28:49
  of uncertainty mothers are being separated from their children at birth for no reason because
• 28:53
  of, you know, safety reasons.
• 28:55
  Like, there's all kinds of things happening, and I and I not fear But I am I I can I think
• 29:01
  in 20 years, we can draw a direct line back to this time, with children who or with young
• 29:08
  adult who suffer from even more anxiety, more depression, more uncertainty?
• 29:14
  Like, you know, they'll have really weird things happen in their life that they can't
• 29:19
  really explain.
• 29:19
  Like, they don't really have any conscious memory of something happened to them, but they
• 29:22
  have these feelings of never being safe.
• 29:25
  Or this insecurity around money and around, you know, toilet paper.
• 29:31
  I don't know.
• 29:31
  Right?
• 29:33
  But it's like there's I I can almost guarantee you there will be a line, a direct line to back
• 29:37
  here to, about 20 years.
• 29:40
  It will be able to pinpoint a lot of people's subconscious connections to this time and the
• 29:44
  way
• 29:44
  they're coming.
• 29:45
  Let's talk about, you know, what can people do now?
• 29:48
  Like, you talked about breath.
• 29:50
  We talked about nutrition.
• 29:51
  We talked about quiting the mind.
• 29:53
  And when we mean quiet, we mean turning on all you know, turning off the things that, you
• 29:58
  know, maybe people are doing too much of like like Netflix and media and YouTube.
• 30:04
  Yeah.
• 30:05
  Complete silence.
• 30:06
  You know, is something, which I know is hard, but that again will will again get the nervous
• 30:11
  system to to relax a bit because to your point, it's It's on overdrive.
• 30:16
  What what what else, Bradshaw Woods?
• 30:18
  I I think connecting to the things that bring you joy are really important right now because
• 30:23
  we're we're over inundated with so much other emotion,
• 30:26
  or
• 30:26
  find something that brings you joy or reconnect, because we know we have all this
• 30:29
  time in our hands for some of us who, you know, ask to work from home or we're just kind of
• 30:34
  home and we can't really go anywhere.
• 30:37
  What hobby did you stop doing?
• 30:38
  Because life got really busy.
• 30:40
  Can you go back and do something that brings you joy?
• 30:44
  You know, can how do you, how are you connecting deeper with people who mean the most
• 30:49
  to you, have conversations with friends that you haven't had in a long time.
• 30:53
  And I know these sound like really simple things, But these do a couple of things.
• 30:58
  Number 1, they start to, regulate our nervous system.
• 31:02
  They start to regulate our emotions They make us feel like things are a little bit normal
• 31:06
  again.
• 31:07
  And that brings the heart rate down, brings the, you know, it brings down the stress
• 31:11
  hormones, it puts us in this better place, body wise so that we're not operating on this high
• 31:18
  level of stress and anxiety.
• 31:19
  So anything that you can do that you enjoy doing that brings down the stress and anxiety
• 31:24
  level in your body.
• 31:25
  If you can get out, go to an unpopular place in nature, enjoy the fresh air.
• 31:31
  I personally, like, this is my office at home.
• 31:34
  I set up a table outside of my backyard so that I can sit out there and work most of the day.
• 31:38
  Because we need to have sunshine because vitamin D makes our bodies feel better.
• 31:41
  We need fresh air.
• 31:42
  We need so those things that that that bring us joy We need to do more of them.
• 31:48
  That's gonna help us.
• 31:51
  Some other work.
• 31:52
  I myself, I'm actually, I've been sitting with what I can do as a collective healer since I'm
• 31:57
  not doing my normal type of work, but as a hypnotist, I have the ability to bring a group
• 32:03
  hypnosis sessions online.
• 32:05
  So I am, starting next Sunday.
• 32:06
  I'm actually putting the framework in today and tomorrow.
• 32:09
  My system's gonna get the information up.
• 32:11
  But I'm gonna do a Sunday night, hypnosis session online, with anyone who wants to.
• 32:18
  So we're gonna address things like subconsciously resetting your nervous system so
• 32:22
  that you can bring bring that that stress and anxiety level down.
• 32:27
  I'm gonna do a session on sleep and giving yourself a sleep trigger so that you can
• 32:33
  experience deep sleep when you do sleep because I know a lot of people like their sleep is
• 32:38
  interrupted right now.
• 32:40
  Another one I'm gonna do, you know, regulating your emotions during this time.
• 32:44
  And then creating a safety and, comp or safety anchor.
• 32:49
  And hypnosis and anchor is a space that we can take you back visual or in through
• 32:54
  visualization that we anchor, like, a for this in particular, if we're doing safety, where we
• 32:59
  anchor a feeling of safety in your body, And so if you get to a point where you're not feeling
• 33:04
  safe, you can do a physical, action.
• 33:08
  So if let's just say when you're in hypnosis, the physical action that I direct you to do is
• 33:12
  to put your fingers together.
• 33:13
  So you put your fingers together.
• 33:15
  You take a deep breath count to 10.
• 33:17
  And you allow yourself to inside, go to that place of safety and so that it, again, it
• 33:22
  starts to regulate your body and the ways that you respond to the stress of of what's
• 33:28
  happening.
• 33:28
  And so
• 33:29
  Well, that's amazing.
• 33:30
  So that again, we'll we'll put the the link, once, Rachel provides it so that these are
• 33:37
  amazing tools that, you know, tuning into them, is is is vitally, widely important, I think, at
• 33:45
  this time.
• 33:46
  No.
• 33:46
  No.
• 33:47
  I do have I have one more thing.
• 33:50
  Give yourself some grace.
• 33:51
  Don't pressure yourself to do or accomplish anything that you aren't moved to accomplish
• 33:57
  and do.
• 33:58
  I think a big part of, even for myself, is I had to get through the 1st couple of weeks or 2
• 34:03
  or 3 weeks just being still not pressuring myself to be super productive and do all these
• 34:09
  things and show up in the because I think as a healer I I felt like this internal pressure to
• 34:13
  show up and provide something, and my body has been completely resistant to that so much that
• 34:18
  I couldn't even think of anything to do.
• 34:20
  So much that I think I I developed like a jaw infection.
• 34:23
  Like, I have an infection that's I'm taking antibiotics right now because I carried so much
• 34:27
  stress.
• 34:27
  And so these theories that I'm getting ready to to do really were my own personal ways of
• 34:34
  trying to to regulate.
• 34:36
  So allow yourself to slow down.
• 34:38
  Don't feel pressure to be super productive.
• 34:40
  Listen to the collective the collective voice right now that is saying slow down.
• 34:45
  Relax.
• 34:46
  And just let yourself be because that is the most important I think I think you could do
• 34:50
  right now is give yourself that space.
• 34:52
  Well, this has been truly amazing, just the the the sharing and, you know, having people
• 34:59
  recognize that the the things that they can do.
• 35:01
  Right?
• 35:02
  And We are not defined by her past or her pain of her past, which is which is ultimately what
• 35:08
  I hear Rochelle saying, and it's what I truly believe too.
• 35:11
  And the authentic self is there.
• 35:13
  Sometimes you gotta, you know, you gotta dig a little bit and you gotta do some different work
• 35:18
  and It takes time, and it takes a lot of courage to be able to look back into those
• 35:23
  places.
• 35:24
  But once you lift those kind of heavy heavy boulders off your All it does is it exposes who
• 35:29
  you really are because that that that that inner space within yourself is there.
• 35:35
  It gets pricked and prodded by things and situations like we are experiencing now in the
• 35:39
  world.
• 35:40
  Yeah.
• 35:40
  But but collectively, we're being told.
• 35:43
  There's an there's a transformation.
• 35:45
  There's an evolution that's gonna come where, you know, there were some things that the world
• 35:49
  collectively needed to do different.
• 35:51
  And now the universe is saying, guess what?
• 35:53
  Yeah.
• 35:54
  You know, it's it's there's an opening and, you know, all we can do is to focus on what we have
• 35:59
  control over and to take care of ourselves, as much as we can.
• 36:04
  So, Repchell, this has been truly amazing.
• 36:06
  Thank you so much.
• 36:07
  I have learned so much.
• 36:09
  Thank you.
• 36:10
  From sharing with you today.
• 36:11
  And Thank you.
• 36:12
  My takeaway is just to go through this period with Grace.
• 36:19
  That's all you can do.
• 36:20
  I think that's the most important thing that you can do.
• 36:22
  Just allow yourself the space to just be.
• 36:25
  So just be.
• 36:25
  And on that note, I would I would say thank you so much for being on Repchelle.
• 36:30
  It's, it's always, always, touched by the the lives that I've come in contact with.
• 36:36
  Even before this began and and to have the privilege to be able to share your voice and
• 36:41
  your wisdom with everybody that's out there listening.
• 36:44
  So, again, thank you everyone for tuning in.
• 36:46
  It's Roxanne Derhodge.
• 36:48
  If you're wanting to learn a little bit more about, how to be authentically connected
• 36:53
  yourself, you can go to my website and there's a link for, a course that you could explore, or
• 37:00
  you can reach out to me just to do, you know, a free consultation about what you might need to
• 37:05
  do at this time.
• 37:06
  So again, thanks so much.
• 37:08
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
• 37:14
  healthy change.
• 37:15
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
• 37:21
  roxannedurhaj.com/blueprint.
• 37:25
  We'll see you next time.
• 37:27
  Unauthentic living with Roxanne.