Latest / Speaking of Meaning / How to Persuade Any Audience: John Zimmer Reveals the Hidden Skills
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome back to Speaking of Meaning,
- 0:03Better Communication,
- 0:04Greater Impact.
- 0:06SPEAKER_00: I have with me John Zimmer, a recognized international speaker.
- 0:12SPEAKER_00: He has been recognized as Europe's best speaker nine times.
- 0:18And he has a wonderful blog,
- 0:20Manner of Speaking,
- 0:22that has over five million readers.
- 0:26SPEAKER_00: I'm excited for this conversation because John is an expert,
- 0:30SPEAKER_00: not only on public speaking and communication,
- 0:33SPEAKER_00: but also on persuasion.
- 0:35SPEAKER_00: John, welcome.
- 0:37SPEAKER_01: Great to be here, Ibrahim.
- 0:39SPEAKER_01: Nice to be on the show.
- 0:40SPEAKER_00: For our guests who perhaps have not heard about you before,
- 0:44SPEAKER_00: can you tell us about your background?
- 0:46SPEAKER_01: Sure.
- 0:47SPEAKER_01: The very short version.
- 0:48SPEAKER_01: I'm from Canada.
- 0:49SPEAKER_01: I'm a lawyer by training.
- 0:51I worked many years in corporate commercial litigation and
- 0:53environmental law in one
- 0:55SPEAKER_01: of Canada's biggest law firms in Toronto.
- 0:58SPEAKER_01: In 1998,
- 0:58SPEAKER_01: I had a great opportunity to come to Geneva,
- 1:02SPEAKER_01: Switzerland,
- 1:02SPEAKER_01: where I currently am,
- 1:03SPEAKER_01: an opportunity with the United Nations.
- 1:06SPEAKER_01: That led to 17 years with the UN,
- 1:09SPEAKER_01: the International Organization for Migration,
- 1:12SPEAKER_01: and also the World Health Organization.
- 1:14SPEAKER_01: But 10 years ago,
- 1:16SPEAKER_01: I thought,
- 1:17SPEAKER_01: that's enough of the UN,
- 1:19SPEAKER_01: and I became independent to do what I do now,
- 1:22SPEAKER_01: which is public speaking,
- 1:23SPEAKER_01: presentation skills training,
- 1:25SPEAKER_01: giving speeches,
- 1:26SPEAKER_01: moderating events,
- 1:27SPEAKER_01: that kind of thing.
- 1:29SPEAKER_00: So have you always been doing communication and public speaking?
- 1:33SPEAKER_00: Well,
- 1:33SPEAKER_01: as a lawyer,
- 1:34I was fortunate to work in a law firm that gave young lawyers a
- 1:39chance to go to
- 1:40SPEAKER_01: court and to get up on your feet and to try and to do cases,
- 1:46SPEAKER_01: argue cases before courts and tribunals.
- 1:48So my whole career really has been about communication,
- 1:52written and spoken.
- 1:54SPEAKER_00: I read that you have been the best speaker in Europe nine times.
- 2:00SPEAKER_01: Well,
- 2:00SPEAKER_01: that's probably a bit too grand to say the best speaker in Europe,
- 2:03SPEAKER_01: but I did win a few speaking contests along the way with Toastmasters
- 2:09SPEAKER_01: International,
- 2:09and this was at a time when the district in which I was was the
- 2:13entirety of Europe.
- 2:15SPEAKER_00: And how did you become interested in public speaking and communication?
- 2:21SPEAKER_01: I've always enjoyed being on stage and speaking in front of people.
- 2:25SPEAKER_01: And as a lawyer,
- 2:26SPEAKER_01: when you're representing clients,
- 2:28there's a nice feeling to know that you are actually speaking
- 2:32on behalf of someone.
- 2:34And then when I left the law to do what I do now,
- 2:37it's really the same thing.
- 2:38SPEAKER_01: You're up on your feet.
- 2:40SPEAKER_01: You're trying to give people value for the time that they're giving you.
- 2:44SPEAKER_01: And it's a chance to share a message.
- 2:46SPEAKER_01: It's a chance to make an impact as well.
- 2:48SPEAKER_00: All right.
- 2:49SPEAKER_00: Making an impact.
- 2:51SPEAKER_00: So if somebody is listening right now and they're asking themselves,
- 2:56SPEAKER_00: why should I worry about public speaking?
- 2:59SPEAKER_00: I don't have to speak in public.
- 3:01SPEAKER_00: What would you tell them?
- 3:03SPEAKER_01: I think even if you're not speaking at major conferences,
- 3:07public speaking could involve speaking to five of your
- 3:10colleagues at an important
- 3:12SPEAKER_01: team meeting.
- 3:13And I think it's an important skill to learn because of
- 3:18something that the former
- 3:19SPEAKER_01: chairman of the Chrysler car company in the United States,
- 3:22SPEAKER_01: Lee Iacocca said,
- 3:23SPEAKER_01: he said,
- 3:24SPEAKER_01: you can have great ideas,
- 3:26SPEAKER_01: but if you can't get your ideas across,
- 3:28SPEAKER_01: your ideas aren't going to get you anywhere.
- 3:31SPEAKER_01: And I meet people all the time in what I do and brilliant people,
- 3:36SPEAKER_01: people who are motivated,
- 3:38SPEAKER_01: people who are excited about what they're doing,
- 3:39SPEAKER_01: people who have fantastic ideas.
- 3:42But if they can't find a way to communicate these ideas in a
- 3:45way that is clear,
- 3:47SPEAKER_01: that is memorable,
- 3:48SPEAKER_01: that is persuasive to move people to take some kind of action,
- 3:52SPEAKER_01: then their ideas won't go as far as they might have gone otherwise.
- 3:58Have you met leaders who struggle with communication and
- 4:03creating a compelling and
- 4:05SPEAKER_00: inspiring message?
- 4:07SPEAKER_01: Sure, all the time.
- 4:08SPEAKER_01: And it's not because they're not intelligent or not capable of it.
- 4:12In some cases,
- 4:13it's because they've just learned bad habits over the years.
- 4:17SPEAKER_01: In others,
- 4:17it's because they're so busy that they don't have the time to
- 4:21devote to really
- 4:22stepping back and thinking about the presentation or the speech
- 4:26that they're going
- 4:26SPEAKER_01: to give.
- 4:27SPEAKER_01: Everybody faces challenges.
- 4:29SPEAKER_01: I still face challenges as a speaker.
- 4:31SPEAKER_01: I find I'm always learning.
- 4:34You get to the top of one mountain and then you realize that
- 4:37there are higher
- 4:37SPEAKER_01: mountains to climb.
- 4:39SPEAKER_01: And so it's a lifelong skill.
- 4:41SPEAKER_01: But the good news is that if people are prepared to work at it,
- 4:45SPEAKER_01: even just to improve incrementally every day,
- 4:48SPEAKER_01: every week,
- 4:49SPEAKER_01: then over time,
- 4:51SPEAKER_01: they can become very compelling speakers.
- 4:53SPEAKER_00: If we talk a little bit about leaders,
- 4:55SPEAKER_00: because a lot of people can benefit even if you're not a leader,
- 4:59SPEAKER_00: but obviously if you are a leader,
- 5:01SPEAKER_00: you have a position where you have to speak,
- 5:04SPEAKER_00: you have to influence,
- 5:05SPEAKER_00: you have to inspire.
- 5:07Why should leaders not only care about speaking,
- 5:12but also persuasion and the art of influence?
- 5:17SPEAKER_01: Well, I think leaders, they have people for whom they are responsible.
- 5:23SPEAKER_01: They have people whom they are leading.
- 5:25SPEAKER_01: That is the very nature of the definition of a leader.
- 5:28And as a leader,
- 5:29you have to persuade people to do what it is you want them to
- 5:34do.
- 5:34I think you also have to inspire them and motivate them and get
- 5:38them to believe that
- 5:39SPEAKER_01: in the value of what they're doing.
- 5:41SPEAKER_01: And so you look at leaders of companies today who are,
- 5:44SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 5:45whether they're multinationals or mid-sized companies or even
- 5:48small companies,
- 5:49SPEAKER_01: I would think that they would want to inspire,
- 5:52SPEAKER_01: motivate,
- 5:53persuade their employees to do a great job for the benefit of
- 5:57the company,
- 5:58SPEAKER_01: but also for their own benefit.
- 6:01SPEAKER_00: Do you often find yourself in conversation with leaders?
- 6:05Do you often find yourself trying to convince them of why it is
- 6:09important with
- 6:10SPEAKER_00: persuasion and the art of public speaking?
- 6:13SPEAKER_01: Sometimes.
- 6:14SPEAKER_01: I think most leaders...
- 6:16SPEAKER_01: know the importance of good communication skills.
- 6:20SPEAKER_01: I think the persuasion on my part comes in the how,
- 6:25SPEAKER_01: in trying to get them to let go of the text-heavy slides,
- 6:29in trying to get them to maybe tell a personal story as part of
- 6:35the overall
- 6:35SPEAKER_01: presentation.
- 6:36SPEAKER_01: I think that's where there's more persuasion coming from my part.
- 6:40SPEAKER_00: That's interesting.
- 6:41And what is the most common argument they use against telling a
- 6:46personal story?
- 6:49SPEAKER_01: I think, I don't know if it's so much an argument, but I think they've...
- 6:53throughout their careers they've seen i know i've seen and i
- 6:56suspect you've seen as
- 6:57well so many business presentations which is just fat which are
- 7:01just facts facts
- 7:02facts facts data data data data and they see this all the time
- 7:07and so they think
- 7:08well this must be how it's done but the reality is that there's
- 7:12no rule that says
- 7:13SPEAKER_01: it has to be all data in fact if it's only data
- 7:18The speaker would have saved everybody a lot of time by just
- 7:21turning the slides
- 7:22into a PDF and emailing them because people can't absorb and
- 7:27retain too many things
- 7:30SPEAKER_01: at one time.
- 7:31SPEAKER_01: They're going to need to go away.
- 7:32SPEAKER_01: They're going to need to read more about it, think about it.
- 7:35But the point of a presentation isn't to flood people with as
- 7:38much information as possible.
- 7:40SPEAKER_01: It's to get them to remember a few key points.
- 7:44And then they can go away and do further research and reading
- 7:48on their own.
- 7:49SPEAKER_00: I think this is very common.
- 7:51I remember one time when my boss was going to inform us about
- 7:57an organizational change.
- 7:59And I could see when he started his PowerPoint presentation
- 8:02that he had 80 slides.
- 8:06SPEAKER_00: And after slide number four,
- 8:08people just started reading what was on the PowerPoint slide
- 8:12and stopped listening
- 8:13SPEAKER_00: to him because all the information was there.
- 8:16SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 8:16SPEAKER_01: And I tell people, I say, look,
- 8:20If you put a slide that is full of text and information and
- 8:25three graphs or
- 8:26SPEAKER_01: whatever,
- 8:27SPEAKER_01: you force your audience to make a choice.
- 8:29Either I'm going to listen to you and not look at the slide or
- 8:33what is more likely
- 8:34SPEAKER_01: to happen,
- 8:35SPEAKER_01: I'm going to look at the slide and then start reading.
- 8:37Then the speaker has a second problem because people are gonna
- 8:41be reading different
- 8:42SPEAKER_01: things at different times.
- 8:44The methodical readers are gonna start at the top and work
- 8:47their way down.
- 8:47SPEAKER_01: The fast readers are already two bullet points ahead.
- 8:51SPEAKER_01: The visual people are looking at the chart and we're all over the place.
- 8:55SPEAKER_01: It's interesting, you said he had 80 slides.
- 8:57SPEAKER_01: I'm not opposed to having a lot of slides in a deck.
- 9:01SPEAKER_01: In fact, one of the questions people will ask me, they say,
- 9:04SPEAKER_01: I've got half an hour to speak or an hour to speak.
- 9:06SPEAKER_01: How many slides should I use?
- 9:08SPEAKER_01: I always say, my answer is always the same.
- 9:10SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
- 9:11SPEAKER_01: Maybe 10, maybe 50, maybe 17.
- 9:15The number of slides is less important than the fact that each
- 9:19slide should be well-designed.
- 9:22So you could easily have a 40 slides in a 20 minute
- 9:28presentation if the slides are
- 9:31SPEAKER_01: well designed and they help move the presentation along.
- 9:35SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, what you usually get is the worst of both worlds.
- 9:38SPEAKER_01: You get a lot of slides poorly designed.
- 9:40SPEAKER_01: And so that's not great.
- 9:45SPEAKER_00: Yes,
- 9:45I became nervous because I knew that there was going to be a
- 9:48lot of information on
- 9:49SPEAKER_00: each slide.
- 9:51SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
- 9:53SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of times people will tell me,
- 9:56SPEAKER_01: they say,
- 9:57SPEAKER_01: yes,
- 9:58but I hand out the slides at the end so that people have a
- 10:02takeaway document.
- 10:03And I will ask them,
- 10:04I say,
- 10:05so everything I need to know is in the slides.
- 10:07SPEAKER_01: And they say, yeah, it's all there.
- 10:08SPEAKER_01: And I say, that's fantastic.
- 10:10SPEAKER_01: Why do I need you then?
- 10:12SPEAKER_01: And I don't mean that in a bad way, but it's a sincere question.
- 10:17SPEAKER_01: If everything's in the slides, like I said, make it a PDF.
- 10:21SPEAKER_01: People can read faster than you can speak.
- 10:25But if you use the slides as a clean support tool for a message
- 10:31that you want to
- 10:32SPEAKER_01: share with me,
- 10:33SPEAKER_01: then I'm in.
- 10:33SPEAKER_01: Then I want to hear what you have to say.
- 10:37SPEAKER_01: A good rule of thumb for slides...
- 10:40that I tell clients is that most slides should be like the sign
- 10:46beside the auto
- 10:47SPEAKER_01: route or the highway.
- 10:48You're driving along at 120 kilometers an hour and there's a
- 10:52sign coming up that
- 10:53SPEAKER_01: says how long to the next gas station and where the next exit is,
- 10:57SPEAKER_01: that kind of thing.
- 10:58SPEAKER_01: When you're driving at 120,
- 11:00SPEAKER_01: 130 kilometers an hour,
- 11:02SPEAKER_01: how long do you have to look at the slide,
- 11:04SPEAKER_01: at the sign?
- 11:05SPEAKER_01: Three, maybe four seconds.
- 11:07SPEAKER_01: You get the information, then you have to get back to the road.
- 11:09SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, it's dangerous.
- 11:11SPEAKER_01: And I think that's the way it should be with most slides.
- 11:13SPEAKER_01: For most slides,
- 11:15SPEAKER_01: I should be able to look up in a couple seconds,
- 11:18SPEAKER_01: get the idea,
- 11:19SPEAKER_01: and then get back to the speaker.
- 11:21SPEAKER_01: You can have a complex slide from time to time if...
- 11:26Number one,
- 11:27you bring in elements using a simple animation,
- 11:30bring in elements one at a time.
- 11:33SPEAKER_01: And number two,
- 11:34that you spend the adequate amount of time on that slide so
- 11:38that people can absorb
- 11:39SPEAKER_01: what you're saying.
- 11:42SPEAKER_00: So what I hear you say, John, is help them focus on you.
- 11:47Because otherwise their attention is going to compete between
- 11:51the slide and you as a speaker.
- 11:53SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
- 11:54SPEAKER_01: The slide is ancillary.
- 11:56SPEAKER_01: The slide is secondary.
- 11:57SPEAKER_01: You as the speaker are the most important thing there.
- 12:00SPEAKER_00: So usually when we try to speak,
- 12:03SPEAKER_00: when we present,
- 12:04SPEAKER_00: when we talk in public,
- 12:06SPEAKER_00: our goal is to try to perhaps sell a product,
- 12:09SPEAKER_00: sell an idea.
- 12:10Sometimes maybe we are doing an interview,
- 12:13we're trying to sell ourselves and our services.
- 12:18SPEAKER_00: That is how we try to influence others.
- 12:21SPEAKER_00: So my question to you is, is manipulation related to persuasion?
- 12:30SPEAKER_01: It is related.
- 12:31SPEAKER_01: And it's funny,
- 12:32I was doing a training yesterday and I got the question about
- 12:36when we were talking
- 12:37SPEAKER_01: about the use of emotion,
- 12:38SPEAKER_01: the question was,
- 12:39SPEAKER_01: well,
- 12:39SPEAKER_01: isn't this just manipulating your audience?
- 12:43And I said,
- 12:43here's the way I think about it,
- 12:45the difference between persuasion and manipulation.
- 12:49Persuasion is about getting the audience to do something that
- 12:54is good for them,
- 12:56SPEAKER_01: that is in their interest,
- 12:57SPEAKER_01: or that is in the general interest of society,
- 13:00SPEAKER_01: for example,
- 13:01SPEAKER_01: something positive.
- 13:02SPEAKER_01: And there can be also a benefit for the speaker.
- 13:05There's nothing wrong with a mutual benefit situation,
- 13:08a win-win situation.
- 13:10SPEAKER_01: I think manipulation,
- 13:11I think of that as you're trying to get the audience to do
- 13:14something that is either
- 13:16SPEAKER_01: against their interests or that is a bad thing to do.
- 13:20SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, politicians,
- 13:23SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, they manipulate people all the time.
- 13:26SPEAKER_01: Not all politicians.
- 13:27SPEAKER_01: Politicians also persuade.
- 13:29SPEAKER_01: But that's an example where you can see manipulation.
- 13:32SPEAKER_01: So there's clear overlap because with both persuasion and manipulation,
- 13:37SPEAKER_01: you're trying to get other people to do something.
- 13:42SPEAKER_01: The question is, what's the end result?
- 13:44SPEAKER_01: What's the benefit or the detriment that occurs?
- 13:48SPEAKER_01: That's how I think about it.
- 13:49SPEAKER_00: Then intention plays a major role.
- 13:53SPEAKER_00: In my opinion, a huge role.
- 13:55SPEAKER_00: What is the intention?
- 13:56SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
- 13:59Do you need to be able to influence others and learn these
- 14:05techniques in order for
- 14:06SPEAKER_00: you to also uncover or spot when somebody is trying to manipulate you?
- 14:13I think it definitely makes you more aware when you're in the
- 14:19opposite situation,
- 14:20SPEAKER_01: when somebody's trying to influence you.
- 14:23SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of people have an instinct for it.
- 14:29SPEAKER_01: Did you ever read, what was it, Malcolm Gladwell's book, Blink?
- 14:33SPEAKER_01: This idea about how first impressions are often the correct ones.
- 14:38Like there's something that it just doesn't feel right in a
- 14:41case like that.
- 14:42SPEAKER_01: That, you know, I think a lot of people have that, that sense.
- 14:46SPEAKER_01: But if you study rhetoric and persuasion,
- 14:50SPEAKER_01: and then you can also get into this whole field of,
- 14:52SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 14:52SPEAKER_01: cognitive biases and things like that,
- 14:55SPEAKER_01: then it's easier to spot.
- 14:57SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 14:59SPEAKER_00: So basically, our gut feeling plays a major role as well.
- 15:04SPEAKER_01: I think so.
- 15:04SPEAKER_00: I think so.
- 15:06SPEAKER_00: That's very interesting.
- 15:08SPEAKER_00: I like that.
- 15:09SPEAKER_00: The whole idea about intention.
- 15:11So becoming a good speaker,
- 15:13learning the art of influencing others,
- 15:16it's what you do with it.
- 15:18SPEAKER_00: Sure.
- 15:19SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
- 15:19SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, businesses who have to sell a product or a service,
- 15:25SPEAKER_01: There's nothing wrong with that.
- 15:26SPEAKER_01: If they don't sell their products or services,
- 15:29SPEAKER_01: they're not going to be in business for very long.
- 15:32SPEAKER_01: The question is, are their products good quality products?
- 15:37SPEAKER_01: Have they been sourced in a sustainable way?
- 15:40SPEAKER_01: Are they respecting labor laws?
- 15:42SPEAKER_01: That kind of thing.
- 15:45SPEAKER_00: And you can have the best idea,
- 15:47SPEAKER_00: the best product,
- 15:50SPEAKER_00: but if you don't know how to tell people about it,
- 15:54SPEAKER_00: how to sell it,
- 15:55SPEAKER_00: how to persuade others,
- 15:57SPEAKER_00: it's not going to happen.
- 15:58SPEAKER_01: No, no.
- 15:59SPEAKER_01: The inferior product may well win because they've got a better pitch,
- 16:03SPEAKER_01: they've got a better story to tell.
- 16:06SPEAKER_00: If we try to understand the basic of persuasion, where does it begin?
- 16:11SPEAKER_00: Is it a mindset?
- 16:12SPEAKER_00: Is it a skill?
- 16:15SPEAKER_00: Is it deeper than that?
- 16:16SPEAKER_01: I think it's a couple of things.
- 16:19SPEAKER_01: I think...
- 16:21SPEAKER_01: Belief plays a big role in it.
- 16:24First belief in yourself,
- 16:25belief in the idea that you are selling as well.
- 16:29Many times people will say to me,
- 16:32how do I give a presentation about an idea I don't believe in?
- 16:35SPEAKER_01: And I'm always honest with them.
- 16:36SPEAKER_01: I say, it's not easy.
- 16:38SPEAKER_01: It's not easy.
- 16:40SPEAKER_01: Beyond that,
- 16:41SPEAKER_01: then we get into the different techniques of persuasion,
- 16:45and we go back 2,300 years to ancient Greece and Aristotle and
- 16:51rhetoric and the
- 16:52SPEAKER_01: whole basis of persuasion,
- 16:55SPEAKER_01: logos,
- 16:56SPEAKER_01: ethos,
- 16:56SPEAKER_01: and pathos.
- 16:57SPEAKER_01: And for people who don't know what these things are,
- 17:00SPEAKER_01: even if you've never heard these terms,
- 17:02SPEAKER_01: you know instinctively what they are.
- 17:04SPEAKER_01: Logos essentially is persuasion by logic.
- 17:07SPEAKER_01: It's things like the coherence of your presentation,
- 17:10SPEAKER_01: facts,
- 17:11SPEAKER_01: statistics,
- 17:12SPEAKER_01: data,
- 17:12SPEAKER_01: very left brain thinking.
- 17:15SPEAKER_01: I'm a lawyer by training, so I'm very logos oriented.
- 17:18SPEAKER_01: Everything has to be very structured and clear for me.
- 17:21The second pillar,
- 17:22ethos,
- 17:23is persuasion by virtue of the speaker's personal credibility.
- 17:28SPEAKER_01: Things like the person's reputation,
- 17:31SPEAKER_01: authority,
- 17:32SPEAKER_01: expertise,
- 17:33SPEAKER_01: that kind of thing,
- 17:35SPEAKER_01: that can help influence.
- 17:36SPEAKER_01: Also, part of ethos, I mean,
- 17:39SPEAKER_01: These things I mentioned,
- 17:41SPEAKER_01: reputation,
- 17:41SPEAKER_01: authority,
- 17:42SPEAKER_01: expertise,
- 17:43SPEAKER_01: you build these up by living your life,
- 17:46SPEAKER_01: by going through your career.
- 17:48SPEAKER_01: And if you're junior in your career,
- 17:49there's a chance that you're not going to have as much
- 17:52reputation or authority as
- 17:54SPEAKER_01: somebody more senior.
- 17:55SPEAKER_01: And that's just life.
- 17:56SPEAKER_01: You build it up over time.
- 17:58But you can also have an influence on your own ethos as seen by
- 18:03the audience by
- 18:04SPEAKER_01: your stage presence.
- 18:06SPEAKER_01: Are you looking at people?
- 18:07SPEAKER_01: Are you pausing?
- 18:08SPEAKER_01: Are you doing all of these nice gestures on stage and not,
- 18:14SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 18:14SPEAKER_01: you're not looking down,
- 18:15SPEAKER_01: you're not staring at the slides.
- 18:17SPEAKER_01: That makes a difference as well.
- 18:19SPEAKER_01: So there's logos ethos.
- 18:20SPEAKER_01: And then the third pillar is pathos.
- 18:23Interesting word comes from the Greek word related to both
- 18:27emotion and suffering.
- 18:28SPEAKER_01: And so we get words today in English and other languages like sympathy,
- 18:33SPEAKER_01: empathy,
- 18:34SPEAKER_01: pathology,
- 18:35SPEAKER_01: pathogen.
- 18:36SPEAKER_01: All of these relate to pathos, which is persuasion by emotion.
- 18:41SPEAKER_01: storytelling, humor, surprise, that kind of thing.
- 18:47SPEAKER_01: So those are the three main pillars.
- 18:49And there's a fourth pillar,
- 18:51though,
- 18:52which I think is important and it's less well known.
- 18:55SPEAKER_01: It's called kairos.
- 18:58SPEAKER_01: Kairos is an interesting word.
- 18:59SPEAKER_01: The Greeks have two words for the concept of time.
- 19:03SPEAKER_01: There's chronos,
- 19:05SPEAKER_01: and we get words like chronology or chronological from chronos,
- 19:09SPEAKER_01: which is the time we're most familiar with.
- 19:13The time of,
- 19:13you know,
- 19:14the hours going by in a day or the months going by in a year.
- 19:18SPEAKER_01: But then there's the second concept of time,
- 19:20SPEAKER_01: kairos,
- 19:21SPEAKER_01: which means the appropriate time,
- 19:24SPEAKER_01: the right time to make an argument,
- 19:27SPEAKER_01: the right time to sell an idea,
- 19:30SPEAKER_01: and also the right time to use emotion,
- 19:33SPEAKER_01: the right time to use facts and logic.
- 19:36SPEAKER_01: So all of this plays a role in persuasion.
- 19:41SPEAKER_00: That's very interesting.
- 19:43SPEAKER_00: So timing is also important.
- 19:46SPEAKER_01: Sure, sure.
- 19:48SPEAKER_01: You often see an event might happen.
- 19:53Let's say there's a severe drought or flooding or an unexpected
- 19:59weather event.
- 20:00And people who are very concerned about global warming and
- 20:06climate change...
- 20:07SPEAKER_01: They might think,
- 20:09SPEAKER_01: well,
- 20:09SPEAKER_01: in light of what has just happened,
- 20:11now is a good time once again to remind people about the
- 20:15importance of taking
- 20:17SPEAKER_01: certain steps to help reduce the impact of global warming.
- 20:24SPEAKER_00: This is very interesting.
- 20:25And do you need all four to be influential or can you get away
- 20:33with one or two?
- 20:34SPEAKER_01: No, I think you need them all.
- 20:36SPEAKER_01: I mean, obviously Kairos underpins everything.
- 20:39SPEAKER_01: You want to bring the right argument forth at the right time.
- 20:43Then you've got the other three pillars,
- 20:45the logic,
- 20:46the credibility and the emotion.
- 20:48SPEAKER_01: And the way I like to think of those three is as follows.
- 20:54I want my credibility in the eyes of the audience to be as high
- 20:58as possible.
- 20:59SPEAKER_01: I want them to think he knows what he's talking about.
- 21:03He's really thinking about what might be valuable to me and
- 21:06he's going to give me
- 21:07SPEAKER_01: some value for my time.
- 21:09SPEAKER_01: I want it to be as high as possible.
- 21:12The logic,
- 21:13the logos,
- 21:14and the pathos,
- 21:14the emotion,
- 21:15these are more variable.
- 21:18SPEAKER_01: These are more variable.
- 21:19SPEAKER_01: You want,
- 21:20SPEAKER_01: depending on who the audience is,
- 21:22SPEAKER_01: what you're talking about,
- 21:23SPEAKER_01: what the situation is,
- 21:25SPEAKER_01: you're going to want to use more of one and less of the other.
- 21:29SPEAKER_01: In the typical business presentation,
- 21:31SPEAKER_01: you are almost always going to have more logic,
- 21:34SPEAKER_01: more logos than pathos.
- 21:36SPEAKER_01: And that's fine.
- 21:37But
- 21:37Don't leave the emotion out altogether because,
- 21:41you know,
- 21:42people should be excited.
- 21:43If you're selling a new product or service,
- 21:45there should be some level of emotion there.
- 21:47SPEAKER_01: You can tap into emotion.
- 21:49SPEAKER_01: It's like a recipe.
- 21:51SPEAKER_01: You want to have the ingredients in the right amounts.
- 21:54SPEAKER_01: And that's what really makes the best impact.
- 21:56SPEAKER_02: Mm hmm.
- 21:57SPEAKER_00: Mm hmm.
- 21:57So when I hear you say storytelling,
- 22:01emotion is important,
- 22:03even in business presentations.
- 22:05SPEAKER_01: Storytelling is huge.
- 22:07SPEAKER_01: And it still surprises me how...
- 22:11SPEAKER_01: Little it is used.
- 22:12It's being used more these days than it was,
- 22:14but there's still so much more potential for it.
- 22:17And the reason is that stories are something that are
- 22:22fundamental to the human experience.
- 22:24SPEAKER_01: I mean, stories have been around for thousands of years.
- 22:27They've been around a lot longer than PowerPoint and Excel and
- 22:31all these things.
- 22:32SPEAKER_01: we use today.
- 22:33SPEAKER_01: And there have been tests that have been done.
- 22:36SPEAKER_01: I read about a test,
- 22:37SPEAKER_01: I think it was conducted by Stanford University and The Economist,
- 22:43SPEAKER_01: the magazine The Economist.
- 22:46SPEAKER_01: And they put people...
- 22:49SPEAKER_01: Well,
- 22:49SPEAKER_01: first of all,
- 22:50they put people in fMRI imaging and they studied the brain when
- 22:55the person was
- 22:55SPEAKER_01: listening to a story.
- 22:57SPEAKER_01: And when we hear a story, different parts of the brain light up.
- 23:01SPEAKER_01: The amygdala related to emotion,
- 23:04SPEAKER_01: the prefrontal cortex,
- 23:05SPEAKER_01: which is for memory,
- 23:07SPEAKER_01: Wernicke's area,
- 23:08SPEAKER_01: which is for language processing.
- 23:11And then they also did this experiment where they had two
- 23:14groups of people.
- 23:15SPEAKER_01: And group one, they gave them a bunch of facts.
- 23:19Group two,
- 23:20they gave them the same facts,
- 23:22but they packaged them in a story.
- 23:25SPEAKER_01: Group two,
- 23:26the people in group two were able to remember many more of the
- 23:29facts because they
- 23:32SPEAKER_01: could remember the story.
- 23:34SPEAKER_01: And so this is the power of a story.
- 23:36SPEAKER_01: Stories are memorable.
- 23:40SPEAKER_00: They stick and it's got to be related to your message as well.
- 23:45SPEAKER_01: Has to be related.
- 23:46SPEAKER_00: Yes.
- 23:46You can tell a nice story,
- 23:47but if it has no relation,
- 23:48then it's just confusing.
- 23:50SPEAKER_00: The best advice I've received is tell a story and make a point.
- 23:56SPEAKER_01: Yes, tell a story, make a point.
- 23:59Too often,
- 23:59however,
- 23:59it's maybe one story and then point,
- 24:02point,
- 24:02point,
- 24:02point,
- 24:02point.
- 24:04SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, it's true.
- 24:05And this discussion reminds me of a fantastic article that I
- 24:11read in the Harvard
- 24:12SPEAKER_01: Business Review years ago.
- 24:14SPEAKER_01: It was called The Four Truths of the Storyteller.
- 24:16SPEAKER_01: And it was written by a man named Peter Guber.
- 24:19SPEAKER_01: He's a very successful businessman in the U.S.,
- 24:23SPEAKER_01: And among his companies is one called Mandalay Entertainment.
- 24:26And they've made some big Hollywood movies like Seven Years in
- 24:30Tibet with Brad Pitt
- 24:32SPEAKER_01: or Legend of Sleepy Hollow with Johnny Depp.
- 24:34SPEAKER_01: And this article caught my attention because in it,
- 24:38uh the author talks about how people in business in companies
- 24:44organizations people
- 24:45like you and me how we can use storytelling techniques from
- 24:49hollywood in a business
- 24:51SPEAKER_01: presentation and very simply he said for a
- 24:54story to make a real impact,
- 24:57there have to be four truths,
- 24:58four things that are true about it.
- 25:00SPEAKER_01: Number one is truth to the speaker,
- 25:02SPEAKER_01: which means you as a speaker have to feel something for the story.
- 25:06SPEAKER_01: It has to mean something to you,
- 25:08which is why personal stories are so great because they're part
- 25:11of who we are.
- 25:12SPEAKER_01: The second truth is truth to the audience.
- 25:15SPEAKER_01: There's got to be something in your story that
- 25:18SPEAKER_01: that if I'm in the audience, I can take and apply in my life.
- 25:22SPEAKER_01: For example,
- 25:23SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 25:23SPEAKER_01: companies hire people who have done amazing things like,
- 25:27SPEAKER_01: I don't know,
- 25:27SPEAKER_01: maybe they've climbed Mount Everest.
- 25:30they bring them in and they give a talk about their climbing
- 25:33Mount Everest.
- 25:33SPEAKER_01: Well,
- 25:33how many people from the company do you think are going to go
- 25:36climb Mount Everest
- 25:37SPEAKER_01: afterwards?
- 25:37SPEAKER_01: I'm guessing zero.
- 25:38SPEAKER_01: That's my guess.
- 25:39SPEAKER_01: So why bring the person in?
- 25:41SPEAKER_01: Well,
- 25:41maybe there's something in her story about teamwork or
- 25:44something in her story about
- 25:46SPEAKER_01: resilience in the face of challenges.
- 25:48SPEAKER_01: That's truth to the audience.
- 25:50SPEAKER_01: The third one is truth to the moment,
- 25:52SPEAKER_01: which means you tell the right story in the right amount of detail and
- 25:57SPEAKER_01: at the right time.
- 25:58SPEAKER_01: So people sometimes like to tell a story which goes on and on and on.
- 26:02You gotta be able to keep it tight as well and condensed for
- 26:07the situation.
- 26:08SPEAKER_01: And then the fourth truth is what he calls truth to the mission.
- 26:13SPEAKER_01: How does this story help the audience
- 26:17SPEAKER_01: move towards the mission,
- 26:18SPEAKER_01: the objective that you have set for them,
- 26:21SPEAKER_01: which brings us all the way back to this idea of persuasion.
- 26:25SPEAKER_00: So these four steps are important because when I hear them,
- 26:30SPEAKER_00: I think about emotionally connecting with the audience,
- 26:35SPEAKER_00: with your listeners.
- 26:37SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
- 26:38SPEAKER_01: This is emotional connection.
- 26:40And emotional connection is really important,
- 26:43especially when you're trying to sell an idea.
- 26:46SPEAKER_01: When you're selling an idea, you're selling it on two levels.
- 26:50SPEAKER_01: You're selling it in the head and you're also selling it in the heart.
- 26:55SPEAKER_01: And if I'm pitching an idea,
- 26:57SPEAKER_01: let's say I'm pitching to you,
- 26:59SPEAKER_01: I'd like you to invest,
- 27:01SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
- 27:02SPEAKER_01: half a million francs, half a million euros in my idea.
- 27:05SPEAKER_01: And I've got 10 minutes to pitch you.
- 27:07The chances that you are going to invest after my 10 minutes
- 27:11are essentially zero.
- 27:14SPEAKER_01: You're going to want to think about it.
- 27:15SPEAKER_01: You're going to want to do some research.
- 27:17SPEAKER_01: You're going to want to read the prospectus, all of these things.
- 27:20SPEAKER_01: And that's fine.
- 27:21SPEAKER_01: But in those 10 minutes,
- 27:23SPEAKER_01: I have a chance to get you excited about my idea,
- 27:27SPEAKER_01: to get you interested,
- 27:28SPEAKER_01: to get you to want to know more.
- 27:30SPEAKER_01: Was it Daniel Kahneman?
- 27:33I think it was Daniel Kahneman,
- 27:34the Nobel Prize winner who wrote Thinking Fast and Slow.
- 27:37SPEAKER_01: Yes.
- 27:37SPEAKER_01: He said,
- 27:38SPEAKER_01: yeah,
- 27:38SPEAKER_01: he said when it comes to purchasing,
- 27:41SPEAKER_01: people buy on emotion and then they justify with logic.
- 27:47SPEAKER_01: And it's true.
- 27:49I heard once,
- 27:50I don't remember who it,
- 27:52what the author is,
- 27:54the author's name.
- 27:55SPEAKER_00: He said, we are not rational.
- 27:58SPEAKER_00: We are rationalizing.
- 28:01SPEAKER_00: Ah, I like that.
- 28:03And that connects to your point about following your emotions
- 28:08and then justifying that decision.
- 28:12SPEAKER_01: Very much so.
- 28:13Let's say you're a leader and you are giving a talk or you want
- 28:19to improve your
- 28:20SPEAKER_00: communication skills.
- 28:22SPEAKER_00: How can you stay authentic and also be influential or persuasive?
- 28:31SPEAKER_01: I like what the Irish playwright Oscar Wilde said.
- 28:34SPEAKER_01: He said, be yourself, everyone else is already taken.
- 28:37SPEAKER_01: And I think it comes with practice.
- 28:42I think the more you do it,
- 28:43the more you speak,
- 28:44the more comfortable you get with speaking.
- 28:47I think leaders who are serious about being authentic,
- 28:50I think they should...
- 28:52SPEAKER_01: they should go in advance.
- 28:56SPEAKER_01: They should be proactive in terms of their feedback.
- 28:58They should seek out a few trusted advisors whom they know
- 29:01might be in the room
- 29:02SPEAKER_01: when they speak and ask them for,
- 29:04SPEAKER_01: say,
- 29:04SPEAKER_01: listen,
- 29:05SPEAKER_01: I really want you to tell me afterwards
- 29:08SPEAKER_01: Was it me up there on the stage?
- 29:10SPEAKER_01: Did it feel authentic?
- 29:12SPEAKER_01: And I think people can be authentic.
- 29:14SPEAKER_01: And really that's,
- 29:15SPEAKER_01: in many ways,
- 29:16SPEAKER_01: it should be the easiest thing to be because you're just being yourself.
- 29:22SPEAKER_01: I think the highest compliment I've ever received,
- 29:25SPEAKER_01: and I don't get this always,
- 29:26but every now and then I will speak at an event and then
- 29:29afterwards at the cocktail
- 29:31SPEAKER_01: party,
- 29:31SPEAKER_01: I'm talking maybe one-on-one with somebody and they'll say,
- 29:35SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 29:36SPEAKER_01: you're exactly...
- 29:38SPEAKER_01: like you are here one-on-one, like you were on stage.
- 29:41And I'm really happy whenever I hear that because it means like
- 29:44I was being
- 29:45SPEAKER_01: authentic in the moment.
- 29:47SPEAKER_01: And it's, you know, it's something comes with practice.
- 29:50SPEAKER_01: And the thing is,
- 29:52SPEAKER_01: people can tell,
- 29:53audiences are pretty smart and they can usually tell if
- 29:56somebody is faking it.
- 29:57SPEAKER_01: I mean,
- 29:58SPEAKER_01: there are some people who can fake it really well,
- 30:00SPEAKER_01: but most people,
- 30:01SPEAKER_01: I think it shows if they're not being themselves.
- 30:05SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you're familiar with,
- 30:08SPEAKER_01: he was a great man,
- 30:09SPEAKER_01: Hans Rosling,
- 30:11SPEAKER_01: the doctor from Sweden at the Karolinska Institute,
- 30:14SPEAKER_01: who was known as the rock star of statistics,
- 30:18SPEAKER_01: and his first TED Talk is still a classic.
- 30:21When I was working at the World Health Organization years ago,
- 30:27he came to give a talk.
- 30:29And when I found out that he was going to give a talk,
- 30:31it was at 10 o'clock in the morning.
- 30:34SPEAKER_01: I got to the office that day at 7.
- 30:36SPEAKER_01: And I did about an hour and a half of work.
- 30:39SPEAKER_01: And then I packed up some documents.
- 30:41SPEAKER_01: And I went over to the room an hour and a half early.
- 30:44SPEAKER_01: I said, I want to be there early.
- 30:46SPEAKER_01: I get there.
- 30:48SPEAKER_01: There's one person in the room and it's Hans Rosling.
- 30:51SPEAKER_01: He's on stage setting everything up.
- 30:54SPEAKER_01: I sat in the front row.
- 30:55SPEAKER_01: I didn't disturb him.
- 30:56SPEAKER_01: I thought I'm going to let him get set up.
- 30:58SPEAKER_01: He worked for another five minutes.
- 30:59SPEAKER_01: He saw me.
- 31:00SPEAKER_01: He came over and we had this 10, 15 minute conversation.
- 31:04And for anyone who has seen Rosling in his talks,
- 31:07he is very dynamic and he's engaged.
- 31:10SPEAKER_01: He's running around.
- 31:11SPEAKER_01: He's doing all these things.
- 31:13SPEAKER_01: One-on-one, he was exactly like that.
- 31:16SPEAKER_01: Like, it was him.
- 31:18SPEAKER_01: It was the same guy I'd seen in these videos.
- 31:20SPEAKER_01: He was exactly that enthusiastic.
- 31:23SPEAKER_01: And that,
- 31:23SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 31:24SPEAKER_01: I'd already had huge respect for him,
- 31:25SPEAKER_01: but my respect went up a notch that day because,
- 31:29SPEAKER_01: like,
- 31:30SPEAKER_01: it was him really being him.
- 31:32SPEAKER_01: I was really sad five, six years ago when he passed away.
- 31:36SPEAKER_01: But, you know, that's a great example of being authentic.
- 31:40SPEAKER_00: What I hear you say,
- 31:41SPEAKER_00: John,
- 31:42SPEAKER_00: is I think being authentic,
- 31:47SPEAKER_00: you can be yourself if you are present on the stage.
- 31:52SPEAKER_01: That's a really nice way to put it.
- 31:54SPEAKER_01: You are in the moment, you are there for your audience.
- 31:58SPEAKER_01: When you realize that you are not important,
- 32:03SPEAKER_01: it's not about you,
- 32:04SPEAKER_01: it's not about your idea,
- 32:05SPEAKER_01: your product,
- 32:06SPEAKER_01: your service.
- 32:07SPEAKER_01: Even if there are people you're trying to help,
- 32:09SPEAKER_01: it's not even about them,
- 32:11SPEAKER_01: it's always about the audience.
- 32:14SPEAKER_01: But it's about the audience.
- 32:17SPEAKER_01: What I always tell people, I say, look, here's the promise I make to you.
- 32:20SPEAKER_01: I said,
- 32:20SPEAKER_01: when you go into any speaking situation,
- 32:23SPEAKER_01: asking yourself,
- 32:24SPEAKER_01: how can I make this time valuable for the audience?
- 32:28How can I really give them something of value for the time that
- 32:31they are giving me?
- 32:33SPEAKER_01: Because if we step back,
- 32:34SPEAKER_01: whatever insight,
- 32:36SPEAKER_01: inspiration,
- 32:37SPEAKER_01: information I can give an audience,
- 32:40SPEAKER_01: they can get a million times that
- 32:43SPEAKER_01: from Google or from AI now.
- 32:46SPEAKER_01: But what they're giving me
- 32:48SPEAKER_01: an hour of their time, they can never get back.
- 32:51SPEAKER_01: And when I think about it that way,
- 32:54it really impresses upon me the importance of the opportunity
- 33:00I've been given.
- 33:01SPEAKER_01: And a calculation I always do,
- 33:03and I encourage your listeners who might have presentations to
- 33:08give in the future,
- 33:09SPEAKER_01: a really simple calculation.
- 33:11SPEAKER_01: I take the amount of time I'm given to speak
- 33:15and I multiply it by the number of people that I think will be
- 33:19in the audience.
- 33:20SPEAKER_01: So for example, yesterday I did a two hour session with 50 people.
- 33:27SPEAKER_01: But that's not two hours.
- 33:28SPEAKER_01: It's two hours of his time and two hours of her time and two, two, two.
- 33:32SPEAKER_01: It's two times 50, which is 100 hours.
- 33:35SPEAKER_01: So now if we think about the average work week,
- 33:37SPEAKER_01: which is more or less 40 hours,
- 33:40SPEAKER_01: that's two and a half full-time work weeks for one professional.
- 33:45SPEAKER_01: That's a valuable resource.
- 33:47SPEAKER_01: And I want to respect it by giving something of value in return.
- 33:51I remember one time when I was sitting in the audience and I
- 33:55was listening to a
- 33:56SPEAKER_00: good speaker,
- 33:58SPEAKER_00: but I noticed that he was not prepared.
- 34:02SPEAKER_00: And I looked around and I think we were two,
- 34:05three hundred people in the audience and I could see people
- 34:10shake their heads
- 34:11because they were disappointed and we could feel that he wasn't
- 34:15really prepared for
- 34:17SPEAKER_00: this moment.
- 34:19SPEAKER_00: And so I think it ties back to what you're saying.
- 34:21SPEAKER_00: It's about your audience,
- 34:23SPEAKER_00: respecting them,
- 34:25SPEAKER_00: and also asking yourself before each presentation,
- 34:29SPEAKER_00: what is my intention here?
- 34:32SPEAKER_00: Who is the most important person right now?
- 34:36SPEAKER_00: And that is the audience.
- 34:38SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for me, it's unacceptable if a speaker is not prepared.
- 34:45SPEAKER_01: I mean,
- 34:45SPEAKER_01: the only justification is in a case where,
- 34:50let's say I'm your boss and we're in a company and I've got a
- 34:54presentation tomorrow
- 34:56SPEAKER_01: and something comes up and I say,
- 34:58SPEAKER_01: Ibrahim,
- 34:58SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry,
- 34:58SPEAKER_01: I can't do this.
- 34:59You're going to have to do the presentation and I give it to
- 35:01you last minute.
- 35:02SPEAKER_01: Okay, you do what you can with the limited time you have.
- 35:06SPEAKER_01: But for a speaker who has time,
- 35:08SPEAKER_01: who knows that,
- 35:08SPEAKER_01: oh,
- 35:09SPEAKER_01: I'm going to be speaking at this conference in a month's time,
- 35:11SPEAKER_01: you have to prepare.
- 35:13SPEAKER_01: You've got to find time.
- 35:14You've got to think about the relationship between your message
- 35:17and your audience.
- 35:18SPEAKER_01: And you, the three, you want to figure out what's your objective?
- 35:22SPEAKER_01: What is your message?
- 35:23SPEAKER_01: Why should the audience care?
- 35:25SPEAKER_01: You want to build it up.
- 35:27Yeah,
- 35:29I shake my head when I hear stories like that,
- 35:31but I hear it all the time.
- 35:34SPEAKER_00: It's actually very common, I think.
- 35:36SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 35:38SPEAKER_01: And I don't, you know, because...
- 35:41SPEAKER_01: It's a missed opportunity.
- 35:43SPEAKER_01: Well, first and foremost, it's lack of respect for the audience.
- 35:46SPEAKER_01: But beyond that,
- 35:47it's a missed opportunity because however many people were in
- 35:51your audience,
- 35:52SPEAKER_01: two,
- 35:52SPEAKER_01: three hundred,
- 35:53SPEAKER_01: that's two,
- 35:54three hundred people who are leaving with a very bad impression
- 35:57of the speaker and
- 35:58probably by extension the speaker's company if he was
- 36:01representing a company or
- 36:02SPEAKER_01: organization.
- 36:04SPEAKER_01: That's the thing.
- 36:05SPEAKER_01: And this is why...
- 36:07This is why great leaders of companies and organizations
- 36:10understand the importance
- 36:12SPEAKER_01: of public speaking and communication.
- 36:15I've read in recent years several studies that have been done
- 36:21by companies like
- 36:23SPEAKER_01: LinkedIn,
- 36:24SPEAKER_01: Microsoft,
- 36:25SPEAKER_01: Fast Company,
- 36:26SPEAKER_01: others,
- 36:27where they sent questionnaires to the heads of companies and
- 36:31organizations,
- 36:32SPEAKER_01: and they were essentially asking them a single question.
- 36:36SPEAKER_01: The question was,
- 36:37when you are looking to hire people who you think could be
- 36:40great future leaders of
- 36:42SPEAKER_01: this company,
- 36:43SPEAKER_01: of this organization,
- 36:44SPEAKER_01: what are the skills you're looking for?
- 36:45SPEAKER_01: Well,
- 36:46SPEAKER_01: consistently at the top is the ability to communicate well,
- 36:50SPEAKER_01: to speak well,
- 36:51because great leaders know that the people that they send out
- 36:56representing their
- 36:57SPEAKER_01: company
- 36:58SPEAKER_01: at conferences or with other clients,
- 37:00those people are the face of the company and people are going
- 37:04to form impressions
- 37:05SPEAKER_01: about the company based on this person.
- 37:07SPEAKER_01: It's like, it's like airlines.
- 37:10SPEAKER_01: Everybody has an airline that they don't like.
- 37:13SPEAKER_01: And it's usually because of one bad experience.
- 37:15SPEAKER_01: One bad experience.
- 37:17SPEAKER_01: I've had people tell me,
- 37:19SPEAKER_01: oh,
- 37:20SPEAKER_01: this airline,
- 37:21SPEAKER_01: I hate this airline for whatever reason,
- 37:22SPEAKER_01: but I've only had good experiences on that airline.
- 37:26SPEAKER_01: And yet we form a broader opinion based on a single experience.
- 37:33What common mistakes do you see people making when they are
- 37:38trying to be persuasive?
- 37:43SPEAKER_01: I think the biggest mistake
- 37:46SPEAKER_01: besides lack of preparation,
- 37:49SPEAKER_01: lack of proper preparation,
- 37:50SPEAKER_01: I think the biggest mistake is people try to convey too much information.
- 37:56SPEAKER_01: They try to do too much.
- 37:58They try to pack in just one more fact,
- 38:01one more statistic,
- 38:02one more reason.
- 38:04SPEAKER_01: And
- 38:07SPEAKER_01: I've read a lot in recent years about the power of simplicity.
- 38:11SPEAKER_01: And you look at the masters of any domain,
- 38:16SPEAKER_01: Chopin in classical music,
- 38:18SPEAKER_01: Coco Chanel in haute couture,
- 38:21SPEAKER_01: Steve Jobs in IT,
- 38:22SPEAKER_01: Bruce Lee in the martial arts,
- 38:24SPEAKER_01: and it goes on and on and on and on.
- 38:27SPEAKER_01: They all talk about
- 38:28about the radical importance of simplicity,
- 38:32of eliminating what is not necessary.
- 38:35SPEAKER_01: There's a French author,
- 38:38SPEAKER_01: Antoine de Saint-Exupéry,
- 38:39SPEAKER_01: who wrote the book,
- 38:41SPEAKER_01: The Little Prince,
- 38:42SPEAKER_01: Le Petit Prince,
- 38:43SPEAKER_01: which is a classic,
- 38:44SPEAKER_01: which I encourage everybody to read.
- 38:46SPEAKER_01: It's a kid's book, but a kid's book for adults, if I can put it that way.
- 38:50SPEAKER_01: And he said something that I love.
- 38:53SPEAKER_01: He said,
- 38:54SPEAKER_01: perfection isn't achieved when there's nothing more to add,
- 38:57SPEAKER_01: but when there's nothing more to take away.
- 39:01SPEAKER_01: And I see this all the time,
- 39:03SPEAKER_01: people trying to add just one more thing,
- 39:06SPEAKER_01: just one more thing,
- 39:07SPEAKER_01: just one more thing.
- 39:08SPEAKER_01: It reminds me of years ago,
- 39:11SPEAKER_01: many,
- 39:12SPEAKER_01: many years ago,
- 39:12SPEAKER_01: I was invited by IBM to a conference here in Switzerland.
- 39:18SPEAKER_01: Full day conference,
- 39:19SPEAKER_01: lots of people,
- 39:20SPEAKER_01: there were other companies there,
- 39:22SPEAKER_01: there were breakout sessions,
- 39:23SPEAKER_01: very interesting day.
- 39:24SPEAKER_01: The keynote speaker,
- 39:26The keynote speaker at the time was very senior in the company,
- 39:30a very senior guy.
- 39:32SPEAKER_01: And he,
- 39:33SPEAKER_01: his keynote,
- 39:34SPEAKER_01: which was about a half hour long,
- 39:36SPEAKER_01: as I remember,
- 39:37was going to be about new initiatives that IBM was working on
- 39:41at the time.
- 39:43SPEAKER_01: And I was introduced to him in the morning and he said,
- 39:46SPEAKER_01: oh,
- 39:46SPEAKER_01: I'd really appreciate your feedback on my talk.
- 39:48SPEAKER_01: And I said, absolutely, I'd be happy to.
- 39:51SPEAKER_01: And
- 39:53SPEAKER_01: We get into the theater and it's all full,
- 39:56SPEAKER_01: 200 people,
- 39:58SPEAKER_01: excellent speaker,
- 39:59SPEAKER_01: really personable on stage,
- 40:01SPEAKER_01: like really nice presence,
- 40:03SPEAKER_01: nice introduction.
- 40:04Then he started talking about the first new initiative that IBM
- 40:08was working on.
- 40:10SPEAKER_01: And I remember getting really interested
- 40:12SPEAKER_01: And then just as I'm really wanting to know more, he went to number two.
- 40:16SPEAKER_01: Okay.
- 40:18SPEAKER_01: Then came number three, number four, number five.
- 40:20SPEAKER_01: In the end, because I counted, in the end, he did 14 things.
- 40:24SPEAKER_01: And it was just like wave after wave.
- 40:26SPEAKER_01: And when I met him after,
- 40:28I told him all the things that he did well because he was an
- 40:31excellent speaker.
- 40:32But then I said,
- 40:33look,
- 40:33if I'm going to give you one piece of advice,
- 40:35it's this.
- 40:36SPEAKER_01: Okay.
- 40:36Next time,
- 40:37don't talk about 14 things because honestly,
- 40:40I can't remember any of them.
- 40:41SPEAKER_01: It was too much.
- 40:42SPEAKER_01: Pick three and go into detail.
- 40:44SPEAKER_01: And I'll never forget his reaction.
- 40:46SPEAKER_01: He said, damn it.
- 40:48SPEAKER_01: And he punched his fist into his hand.
- 40:50SPEAKER_01: He said, damn it.
- 40:51SPEAKER_01: This is what I thought.
- 40:52SPEAKER_01: I said, we're doing too much.
- 40:54SPEAKER_01: But I was told you got to talk about everything.
- 40:56SPEAKER_01: And so even senior people get this pressure.
- 41:00SPEAKER_01: And it's the wrong choice.
- 41:02SPEAKER_01: Had he said,
- 41:04Today at IBM,
- 41:05you know,
- 41:05we are working on over a dozen really exciting projects.
- 41:10And today I want to share three of them with you and then gone
- 41:13into the details and
- 41:14SPEAKER_01: people leave and they remember those three things,
- 41:16SPEAKER_01: but they're also thinking,
- 41:18SPEAKER_01: gee,
- 41:18SPEAKER_01: I wonder what else they're working on.
- 41:20SPEAKER_01: He would have, that would have been perfect.
- 41:23SPEAKER_00: The power of three.
- 41:25SPEAKER_00: Power of three, the power of simplicity.
- 41:28SPEAKER_00: And then when you share three things with them and they're curious,
- 41:33SPEAKER_00: they're going to come back to you.
- 41:35SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
- 41:36SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
- 41:37SPEAKER_01: That's the best.
- 41:38SPEAKER_01: That's the best.
- 41:39SPEAKER_01: When you've given them enough to be interested, to want to know more.
- 41:42And then you sit down in a meeting and you pull out all the
- 41:46details and the
- 41:47statistics and the graphs and all of the complex stuff that
- 41:50they have to go
- 41:50SPEAKER_01: through.
- 41:51SPEAKER_00: This is very interesting because sometimes,
- 41:53let's say I'm sitting at a meeting with a client or I'm sitting
- 41:57in the audience and
- 41:57SPEAKER_00: listening to somebody speak.
- 42:00SPEAKER_00: And sometimes when people talk just too much,
- 42:05SPEAKER_00: when they don't know when to,
- 42:07SPEAKER_00: you know,
- 42:08SPEAKER_00: if you don't have anything to say,
- 42:10SPEAKER_00: don't say anything,
- 42:11SPEAKER_00: just sit down.
- 42:12SPEAKER_00: But sometimes people ramble on and on and on.
- 42:15SPEAKER_00: And you can just see that when they do that, people stop listening.
- 42:20But then when you have something to say or when you see a
- 42:23speaker or a leader and
- 42:26SPEAKER_00: they have something important to say and they say that in a clear,
- 42:30SPEAKER_00: concise manner and they just sit down,
- 42:33SPEAKER_00: that's more powerful than just talking and talking without no direction.
- 42:38SPEAKER_01: It's like what the American President Franklin Roosevelt said,
- 42:43SPEAKER_01: be clear,
- 42:44SPEAKER_01: be brief,
- 42:45SPEAKER_01: be clear,
- 42:46SPEAKER_01: be seated.
- 42:46SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 42:48SPEAKER_01: say what you have to say, don't say anything more, and then sit down.
- 42:52SPEAKER_00: I think we need that advice.
- 42:54SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we all need that advice.
- 42:56SPEAKER_01: And I mean,
- 42:56SPEAKER_01: one way people can speak less,
- 42:58SPEAKER_01: I think is the,
- 42:59SPEAKER_01: well,
- 43:00SPEAKER_01: not I don't think I know,
- 43:01SPEAKER_01: is the power of the pause,
- 43:02SPEAKER_01: the power of silence.
- 43:04I tell people that learning to be comfortable with silence is
- 43:10one of the most
- 43:10SPEAKER_01: powerful skills any speaker can learn,
- 43:14SPEAKER_01: to leave a little bit of space.
- 43:17SPEAKER_01: for the audience.
- 43:18SPEAKER_01: And it's not easy.
- 43:19And I,
- 43:19especially if you're starting out as a speaker,
- 43:22I know it's not easy.
- 43:22You're on stage and you say something and you pause and now
- 43:26you're looking at the
- 43:27SPEAKER_01: audience and you're thinking,
- 43:28SPEAKER_01: oh my God,
- 43:29SPEAKER_01: everybody's looking at me and I can feel my heart pounding,
- 43:32SPEAKER_01: but
- 43:33SPEAKER_01: They're looking at you because you're on stage, whatever you're doing.
- 43:36If you're on stage,
- 43:37they're going to look at you and nobody can feel your heart
- 43:39pound.
- 43:40SPEAKER_01: But two things happen when you pause.
- 43:42SPEAKER_01: Number one, you look good.
- 43:45SPEAKER_01: You look confident.
- 43:46SPEAKER_01: You're not going to be rushed.
- 43:47SPEAKER_01: And that enhances your ethos, your credibility.
- 43:51SPEAKER_01: But number two,
- 43:51SPEAKER_01: and more importantly,
- 43:53SPEAKER_01: you are giving the audience a chance to think about what you've said.
- 43:58You're giving them a chance to internalize what you've just
- 44:02been speaking about.
- 44:03SPEAKER_01: And this is important,
- 44:04especially when the audience doesn't know as much as you do
- 44:08about the topic.
- 44:10SPEAKER_01: Because we all suffer from something known as the curse of knowledge.
- 44:14And the curse of knowledge is essentially when you know
- 44:18something so well that you
- 44:22SPEAKER_01: forget what it was like when you knew nothing about it.
- 44:26SPEAKER_01: And whatever it is you're talking about,
- 44:28SPEAKER_01: whatever it is I'm talking about,
- 44:30SPEAKER_01: there was a time in our lives when we knew nothing about it.
- 44:33SPEAKER_01: And so many times people in the audience,
- 44:36SPEAKER_01: they are at that same point or not much farther advanced.
- 44:40And so they need this extra time because what's obvious to you
- 44:44as a speaker is not
- 44:45SPEAKER_01: necessarily obvious to the audience.
- 44:49So they can use that pausing,
- 44:52the pause,
- 44:54also to transition between points as well.
- 44:59SPEAKER_00: Yeah,
- 44:59SPEAKER_00: and I've also seen you,
- 45:00SPEAKER_00: John,
- 45:01SPEAKER_00: when you start your presentation,
- 45:02SPEAKER_00: I remember seeing you for the first time in,
- 45:04SPEAKER_00: I think it was 2012 or 2013.
- 45:08You were talking about,
- 45:11I think you were talking about being in Turkey with your
- 45:13daughter.
- 45:13SPEAKER_01: Okay, I remember that story.
- 45:16SPEAKER_00: And I remember when you started...
- 45:20SPEAKER_00: You got the introduction,
- 45:22SPEAKER_00: we clapped,
- 45:23SPEAKER_00: and you went on the stage,
- 45:25SPEAKER_00: and you were just silent for,
- 45:28SPEAKER_00: I think,
- 45:28SPEAKER_00: three to five seconds,
- 45:30SPEAKER_00: and you got our attention.
- 45:33And I think a common mistake I see is usually people getting up
- 45:38on the stage and
- 45:39SPEAKER_00: just starting quickly.
- 45:41And people are just scrolling through their phones,
- 45:45and they're not focusing on the speaker.
- 45:48SPEAKER_00: But when you paused, everybody looked at you.
- 45:52And that was powerful because it signaled not only confidence,
- 45:56but also presence on the stage.
- 46:00It is an important thing to do,
- 46:03I think,
- 46:03at the beginning of every presentation.
- 46:05SPEAKER_01: Take a few seconds for yourself on stage,
- 46:10SPEAKER_01: look at the room,
- 46:11SPEAKER_01: get comfortable,
- 46:12SPEAKER_01: take a deep breath,
- 46:13SPEAKER_01: remind yourself that you're there to give the people something of value,
- 46:18SPEAKER_01: and then you go.
- 46:20SPEAKER_01: And the openings are very important of any presentation.
- 46:24SPEAKER_01: Psychologists talk about principles of remembering,
- 46:27SPEAKER_01: and two of the most important are the principles of primacy and recency.
- 46:31SPEAKER_01: People tend to remember the first things they hear and the last things.
- 46:36So your openings and your conclusions should really be
- 46:40well-structured and
- 46:41SPEAKER_01: well-prepared and well-thought-out.
- 46:44SPEAKER_01: In a business presentation, how do people often start?
- 46:51SPEAKER_01: And I mean often.
- 46:53SPEAKER_01: The title slide has been up for the last couple minutes.
- 46:56SPEAKER_01: They come on stage and...
- 46:58SPEAKER_01: Okay, so good morning.
- 47:01SPEAKER_01: I'm happy to be here, blah, blah, blah.
- 47:02SPEAKER_01: You know, the same old, same old thing.
- 47:05SPEAKER_01: And,
- 47:05SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 47:06SPEAKER_01: I'm going to talk about topic X,
- 47:07which people have just been reading about for the last two
- 47:09minutes anyway.
- 47:11So one thing I tell people,
- 47:14if you have slides,
- 47:15and I'm not against slides,
- 47:16I use slides,
- 47:18SPEAKER_01: There's no rule that says you have to have a title slide.
- 47:21SPEAKER_01: I almost never show a title slide.
- 47:24SPEAKER_01: If I hand my slides out afterwards,
- 47:26SPEAKER_01: then yes,
- 47:27SPEAKER_01: I include the title slide with the date and the event and all of that.
- 47:31SPEAKER_01: But there's no rule that says it has to be,
- 47:33SPEAKER_01: you have to show it or that it has to be the first thing you show.
- 47:37I'll sometimes start with a black slide and then maybe I'll
- 47:40tell a story and then
- 47:41SPEAKER_01: I'll click into the title slide.
- 47:44SPEAKER_01: Or sometimes,
- 47:45SPEAKER_01: and I've done this with clients,
- 47:46SPEAKER_01: we've taken the title slide and slide number one,
- 47:49SPEAKER_01: and we've done this,
- 47:50SPEAKER_01: we've swapped them.
- 47:52SPEAKER_01: So they start with the slide and then they transition into,
- 47:57SPEAKER_01: my name is so-and-so,
- 47:58SPEAKER_01: I represent company ABC,
- 48:00SPEAKER_01: and today we're going to talk about this.
- 48:02SPEAKER_01: And it's different.
- 48:04SPEAKER_01: It's such a simple thing to do,
- 48:05SPEAKER_01: but because almost nobody does it,
- 48:08SPEAKER_01: it catches people's attention and it sticks.
- 48:12SPEAKER_00: It sticks.
- 48:13SPEAKER_00: Yes.
- 48:14SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it sticks.
- 48:16SPEAKER_00: What you're saying here is basically start in a powerful way.
- 48:20SPEAKER_00: Start with a bang.
- 48:23SPEAKER_01: Yes, you get one chance to make a good first impression.
- 48:26SPEAKER_01: So you want to seize it.
- 48:27SPEAKER_01: You want to hook your audience's attention.
- 48:30SPEAKER_01: You could do it with a story.
- 48:32SPEAKER_01: You could do it with a question.
- 48:34SPEAKER_01: You could do it by getting the audience to reflect on something.
- 48:37SPEAKER_01: Three very powerful words that any speaker can use to start their speech.
- 48:42SPEAKER_01: Think, remember, imagine.
- 48:46SPEAKER_01: Think, remember, imagine.
- 48:49SPEAKER_01: For example,
- 48:51if I'm giving a talk about how to improve interpersonal
- 48:55relationships at work
- 48:57SPEAKER_01: between and among colleagues,
- 49:00SPEAKER_01: I might start a talk by saying,
- 49:03I'd like you to remember a time when you had a difficult
- 49:07conversation with a
- 49:08SPEAKER_01: colleague at work.
- 49:11SPEAKER_01: Pause.
- 49:12SPEAKER_01: Now, everybody in the audience is thinking of a personal experience.
- 49:16SPEAKER_01: And so with that one sentence,
- 49:19SPEAKER_01: just one sentence,
- 49:20I've already got every individual to start personalizing my
- 49:25talk for them.
- 49:27SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you didn't say, hi, my name is John.
- 49:31SPEAKER_00: You started with that question.
- 49:34SPEAKER_01: I never start with my name.
- 49:39SPEAKER_01: I will start with a story or I'll start with something else.
- 49:42And then if nobody has introduced me,
- 49:45then I will say a few words about myself.
- 49:48SPEAKER_01: There are two scenarios.
- 49:50SPEAKER_01: One, nobody introduces the speaker.
- 49:52And in that case,
- 49:53a speaker has to say something about who he is or who she is.
- 49:57SPEAKER_01: And just very, very brief.
- 50:00My preferred situation is where there's a moderator,
- 50:04somebody who's going to introduce me.
- 50:06SPEAKER_01: Because then if,
- 50:07SPEAKER_01: for your listeners,
- 50:09if you know you're gonna be speaking at an event where somebody
- 50:12is going to be
- 50:12SPEAKER_01: introducing you,
- 50:14you should always contact them beforehand and offer to write
- 50:19out your introduction.
- 50:20SPEAKER_01: They never say no, because it's one less thing for them to do.
- 50:24SPEAKER_01: And then you,
- 50:26SPEAKER_01: as a speaker,
- 50:27you get to decide what is most important from your background
- 50:31for this audience on
- 50:32SPEAKER_01: this occasion.
- 50:33Because the moderator doesn't have time to read out your
- 50:36LinkedIn profile,
- 50:38SPEAKER_01: but you know what will be most relevant to this audience on this day.
- 50:42SPEAKER_01: That's the best.
- 50:46SPEAKER_00: John, great advice.
- 50:47SPEAKER_00: Great advice.
- 50:49SPEAKER_00: So if we talk about leadership a little bit,
- 50:53SPEAKER_00: if we go back to leadership,
- 50:55SPEAKER_00: how can a leader communicate a vision,
- 51:01SPEAKER_00: motivate others instead of just giving instructions?
- 51:09SPEAKER_01: I think...
- 51:11Obviously the leader has to get personal when talking about
- 51:14vision and leader has
- 51:16SPEAKER_01: to talk about,
- 51:17SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 51:17SPEAKER_01: why this vision,
- 51:19SPEAKER_01: why this idea is important to them.
- 51:23SPEAKER_01: Many times, not always, but in many cases,
- 51:27It offers a leader a chance to be a little bit vulnerable with
- 51:32the audience.
- 51:33SPEAKER_01: And I think vulnerability is a really powerful thing.
- 51:37SPEAKER_01: What do I mean when I talk about vulnerability?
- 51:38SPEAKER_01: I mean,
- 51:40SPEAKER_01: talking about a time when you were less than perfect,
- 51:45SPEAKER_01: when you were afraid or when you made a mistake or
- 51:49or when you were feeling frustrated about something or
- 51:51something wasn't working,
- 51:53SPEAKER_01: a time when things weren't going well.
- 51:55SPEAKER_01: And, you know, none of us is perfect.
- 51:58SPEAKER_01: We've all had these bad times.
- 52:00Of course,
- 52:01you don't want to spend the whole talk talking about this,
- 52:03but to inject.
- 52:05SPEAKER_01: A story like that, it's a great way to connect with the audience.
- 52:11SPEAKER_01: It really shows that a person is really willing to take a chance.
- 52:16SPEAKER_01: And I think being a bit vulnerable is a sign of courage.
- 52:19SPEAKER_01: I think that is a real way to tap into emotion with the audience,
- 52:25SPEAKER_01: to connect with them at the human level.
- 52:28SPEAKER_01: You know,
- 52:28SPEAKER_01: you think of big motivational speakers like,
- 52:32SPEAKER_01: I don't know,
- 52:32SPEAKER_01: Tony Robbins or people like of that stature.
- 52:36SPEAKER_01: When they're on stage,
- 52:38SPEAKER_01: they don't come on saying,
- 52:39SPEAKER_01: hey,
- 52:39SPEAKER_01: I've got three houses and two airplanes and I've done this,
- 52:43SPEAKER_01: this and this and this.
- 52:44SPEAKER_01: I mean, how did they start?
- 52:48SPEAKER_01: 15 years ago, I was living in a single room apartment.
- 52:53SPEAKER_01: And at the end of every month,
- 52:54SPEAKER_01: I had to decide whether I was going to eat supper or pay the rent.
- 52:58SPEAKER_01: They tell a story of struggle.
- 53:01SPEAKER_01: And that is a way to connect.
- 53:03And so when leaders are trying to inspire people with a vision,
- 53:06I think a personal story helps.
- 53:09SPEAKER_01: I think also tapping into people's better angels,
- 53:13SPEAKER_01: if I could phrase it this way,
- 53:14to kind of get them excited about being part of something that
- 53:18is something
- 53:19SPEAKER_01: positive that is bigger than themselves.
- 53:23SPEAKER_01: And I think this is really important for people these days.
- 53:27SPEAKER_01: Dan Pink,
- 53:28SPEAKER_01: an author whom I really admire,
- 53:30SPEAKER_01: he wrote a book years ago called Drive,
- 53:34SPEAKER_01: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates People.
- 53:36And for the things that he found that really motivate people,
- 53:40there are three things –
- 53:42Autonomy,
- 53:43people want to have some kind of control over what they're
- 53:46doing.
- 53:46SPEAKER_01: Mastery, they want to get good at whatever it is they're doing.
- 53:49SPEAKER_01: And then the third one, which for me is the big one, purpose.
- 53:53SPEAKER_01: The idea that what I am doing is bigger than just me.
- 53:59SPEAKER_01: It has meaning.
- 54:00SPEAKER_01: It is something that will outlast me, that will have an impact on others.
- 54:05SPEAKER_01: And I think leaders who are conveying a vision, they can tap into this.
- 54:10SPEAKER_01: Have you seen a leader do this in real life?
- 54:14SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've had several clients.
- 54:17SPEAKER_01: I don't want to single anybody out,
- 54:18but I've had several clients where they've gotten up on stage
- 54:21and they've told a
- 54:23personal story and they've spoken about their vision for the
- 54:27company and for the
- 54:29SPEAKER_01: employees at the company.
- 54:30SPEAKER_01: And I've done also corporate trainings where I've asked people,
- 54:34SPEAKER_01: do you have examples in your office of people who've done that?
- 54:37And people have told me,
- 54:37oh gosh,
- 54:38I remember so-and-so gave this speech and it was so inspiring.
- 54:41SPEAKER_01: And other people say, yeah, that was really powerful.
- 54:43SPEAKER_01: And I said, well, what was powerful about it?
- 54:46SPEAKER_01: Well, he told a story, a really powerful story about him.
- 54:49SPEAKER_01: And this ties back to what we were saying,
- 54:50SPEAKER_01: the study by Stanford and The Economist,
- 54:52SPEAKER_01: that people remember the stories.
- 54:55SPEAKER_01: And when it comes to vision,
- 54:58SPEAKER_01: Most visionaries,
- 55:00SPEAKER_01: they have an objective in mind that is worthy,
- 55:04SPEAKER_01: but it's not necessarily easy to achieve.
- 55:07SPEAKER_01: Most things that are worthwhile aren't easy.
- 55:09SPEAKER_01: And in the hard times,
- 55:11when it's 8 o'clock at night and people are still in the office
- 55:15and there's no
- 55:16SPEAKER_01: glamour,
- 55:17SPEAKER_01: this is where the inspiration,
- 55:20SPEAKER_01: the vision from the boss,
- 55:22SPEAKER_01: remembering that helps people to push through the difficult times.
- 55:25so we've been talking about business and leadership now if we
- 55:31go to everyday life
- 55:34how can we become more influential better communicators at our
- 55:41daily lives i think
- 55:48SPEAKER_01: Listening, perhaps paradoxically, is a really important thing.
- 55:53SPEAKER_01: I think listening to people,
- 55:55SPEAKER_01: friends,
- 55:56SPEAKER_01: family,
- 55:57SPEAKER_01: colleagues,
- 55:58SPEAKER_01: when people are speaking,
- 56:00SPEAKER_01: what I've found throughout my career,
- 56:02SPEAKER_01: both as a lawyer and as a public speaker,
- 56:05SPEAKER_01: is that
- 56:08one of the most fundamental things that is really important for
- 56:11people is to feel
- 56:13SPEAKER_01: that they've been listened to.
- 56:16SPEAKER_01: Even when you disagree, even when
- 56:22SPEAKER_01: You have to decide between two options,
- 56:25SPEAKER_01: A and B,
- 56:26SPEAKER_01: and they were hoping for B,
- 56:27SPEAKER_01: but you chose A.
- 56:29If they feel that at the very least you really gave full
- 56:34consideration to their
- 56:36SPEAKER_01: reasons for option B,
- 56:38SPEAKER_01: they might not be happy,
- 56:39SPEAKER_01: but they're going to be less unhappy.
- 56:42One of the things I do in addition to public speaking is
- 56:44improv,
- 56:45improvisational theater.
- 56:47SPEAKER_01: And we do performances.
- 56:49In fact,
- 56:49we have a performance art,
- 56:50my group,
- 56:51the Renegade Saints in Geneva next week.
- 56:54SPEAKER_01: But we also do corporate workshops.
- 56:56SPEAKER_01: And in these workshops, we do games and exercises.
- 56:59And a lot of them are based on really focusing on what your
- 57:03partner's doing,
- 57:04really listening.
- 57:06SPEAKER_01: Because I think, and I've been guilty of this as well.
- 57:11SPEAKER_01: And perhaps people will identify with this.
- 57:14SPEAKER_01: Let's say you're in a meeting and somebody's talking.
- 57:17And it could be a work-related meeting or some other meeting of
- 57:20a club or even,
- 57:21SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 57:21SPEAKER_01: sitting around,
- 57:22SPEAKER_01: family talking.
- 57:23SPEAKER_01: And you listen to what somebody's saying.
- 57:25SPEAKER_01: And at some point,
- 57:28SPEAKER_01: they're still talking,
- 57:29but you've stopped listening because now you're thinking about
- 57:31what you want to
- 57:32SPEAKER_01: say.
- 57:33SPEAKER_01: And when you think about it, that's not polite.
- 57:36SPEAKER_01: You should listen to people right until the end.
- 57:38I want people to listen to me until the end,
- 57:40so I should afford them the same courtesy.
- 57:44And so I tell people when you're communicating with somebody
- 57:47and they're speaking,
- 57:48SPEAKER_01: don't listen to respond,
- 57:50SPEAKER_01: listen to understand.
- 57:52SPEAKER_01: Because many times,
- 57:54SPEAKER_01: once you've understood,
- 57:56you're going to be in a better position to give a better
- 57:59response or answer.
- 58:02SPEAKER_01: And that can lead to more persuasion, more influence.
- 58:07SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
- 58:09SPEAKER_00: So active listening.
- 58:11SPEAKER_01: Active listening.
- 58:12SPEAKER_01: It's very important.
- 58:14SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 58:15So if I would like to persuade somebody,
- 58:18I have to make them feel seen,
- 58:23heard,
- 58:23valued.
- 58:26SPEAKER_00: And I do that by actively listening.
- 58:29SPEAKER_00: Yeah, go ahead.
- 58:31SPEAKER_01: No, actively listening.
- 58:32SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes instead of coming back with your own thoughts,
- 58:38SPEAKER_01: you can actually give them another opportunity.
- 58:41SPEAKER_01: You can ask them a question.
- 58:42SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's interesting.
- 58:44SPEAKER_01: Can you tell me more about that?
- 58:46SPEAKER_01: Or why did this make you feel this way?
- 58:48many you know when we take the time to really think about and
- 58:53care about what
- 58:54somebody else is saying it really makes an impact it really
- 58:57makes an impact and you
- 58:59know these days it's no secret you know political discourse
- 59:03around the world is
- 59:04very bad it's very bad people are talking at each other or
- 59:09above or below each
- 59:10other they're in their own silos and everybody sticks to their
- 59:13own story and
- 59:15SPEAKER_01: There's not a lot of listening going on.
- 59:20And I think if people just listen more and try to understand
- 59:24what the other person
- 59:25SPEAKER_01: was saying,
- 59:26SPEAKER_01: even then at the end,
- 59:26SPEAKER_01: even if they don't agree with them,
- 59:29SPEAKER_01: at least something positive has come out of the exchange.
- 59:34SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it starts by listening.
- 59:35SPEAKER_00: That's why we have two ears and one mouth.
- 59:39SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
- 59:40SPEAKER_00: I need this reminder, John.
- 59:41SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
- 59:45SPEAKER_00: Do you think the art of persuasion and influence,
- 59:52SPEAKER_00: can it be learned or are you just born a natural,
- 59:57SPEAKER_00: talented speaker,
- 1:00:00SPEAKER_00: persuader?
- 1:00:01SPEAKER_01: Well, look, there are 8 billion people on this planet.
- 1:00:05SPEAKER_01: So are there some who are born naturally gifted?
- 1:00:08SPEAKER_01: Sure, there's probably a couple.
- 1:00:10SPEAKER_01: I hate them too.
- 1:00:13SPEAKER_01: But honestly,
- 1:00:14SPEAKER_01: I think for the 99.99% of the people,
- 1:00:19SPEAKER_01: myself included,
- 1:00:20SPEAKER_01: it's something that can be learned.
- 1:00:22SPEAKER_01: It's a skill.
- 1:00:23SPEAKER_01: It's like any other skill.
- 1:00:26SPEAKER_01: On my...
- 1:00:28SPEAKER_01: On my website,
- 1:00:29SPEAKER_01: mannerofspeaking.org,
- 1:00:31SPEAKER_01: right at the top,
- 1:00:32SPEAKER_01: there's a quote from the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson.
- 1:00:36SPEAKER_01: And he said, all the great speakers were bad speakers at first.
- 1:00:41SPEAKER_01: And for me,
- 1:00:41SPEAKER_01: that captures a very important idea,
- 1:00:44SPEAKER_01: which is you don't have to be good when you start,
- 1:00:49SPEAKER_01: but you have to start if you want to be good.
- 1:00:52SPEAKER_01: And so it is a skill that you can work at.
- 1:00:55SPEAKER_01: It is a skill you can get better at.
- 1:00:57And what I would encourage people that if they do a training or
- 1:01:01they read a book or
- 1:01:02SPEAKER_01: they see a speaker whom they admire and they start taking notes,
- 1:01:05SPEAKER_01: oh,
- 1:01:05SPEAKER_01: I want to try this and this and this and all of these things,
- 1:01:08SPEAKER_01: that's fantastic.
- 1:01:09SPEAKER_01: Note it all down, but start with one thing.
- 1:01:14SPEAKER_01: With one thing,
- 1:01:15SPEAKER_01: because if you try and change too much at once,
- 1:01:18SPEAKER_01: it's usually a mess and it can become frustrating.
- 1:01:21SPEAKER_01: But if you say,
- 1:01:22SPEAKER_01: for example,
- 1:01:23we've talked about storytelling and you've never told a story
- 1:01:26in a business
- 1:01:26SPEAKER_01: presentation,
- 1:01:27SPEAKER_01: your next business presentation,
- 1:01:29SPEAKER_01: tell a 45 second story,
- 1:01:32SPEAKER_01: a one minute story related to the point.
- 1:01:35SPEAKER_01: And just that change.
- 1:01:37SPEAKER_01: See how that feels.
- 1:01:39SPEAKER_01: Do it again the next time.
- 1:01:40SPEAKER_01: Get comfortable with that.
- 1:01:41SPEAKER_01: And when you're comfortable, then try adding something else.
- 1:01:45SPEAKER_01: For people in their careers,
- 1:01:47SPEAKER_01: especially those starting out,
- 1:01:49SPEAKER_01: public speaking,
- 1:01:50SPEAKER_01: communicating is something you are going to be doing for decades.
- 1:01:53SPEAKER_01: We're playing the long game here.
- 1:01:56SPEAKER_01: This isn't a sprint.
- 1:01:57SPEAKER_01: So you don't have to do everything at once.
- 1:01:59SPEAKER_01: You can step by step get better.
- 1:02:01SPEAKER_00: Great advice.
- 1:02:03SPEAKER_00: So my podcast is called Speaking of Meaning.
- 1:02:08SPEAKER_00: When you hear speaking of meaning, what comes to mind?
- 1:02:15SPEAKER_01: This podcast, of course.
- 1:02:17SPEAKER_01: But you know, now that I think about it,
- 1:02:19SPEAKER_01: In English,
- 1:02:20SPEAKER_01: the phrase,
- 1:02:21SPEAKER_01: speaking of whatever,
- 1:02:24this usually comes up in a conversation where two people were
- 1:02:28talking about topic A
- 1:02:30SPEAKER_01: and something else is mentioned.
- 1:02:32SPEAKER_01: I go, oh, speaking of that.
- 1:02:34SPEAKER_01: And then we go on to this other topic.
- 1:02:35SPEAKER_01: And I like this phrase, speaking of meaning.
- 1:02:38SPEAKER_01: It's not a common one.
- 1:02:41SPEAKER_01: which makes it stand out, it's unique.
- 1:02:44SPEAKER_01: But the speaking of meaning,
- 1:02:45SPEAKER_01: when I hear it,
- 1:02:46SPEAKER_01: it reminds me of the importance of having something meaningful to say.
- 1:02:52SPEAKER_01: You know, we're talking about this and this and this.
- 1:02:53SPEAKER_01: Speaking of meaning, oh yeah, I should have something meaningful to say.
- 1:02:57SPEAKER_01: I should have something relevant to say whenever I'm communicating.
- 1:03:01SPEAKER_01: So that's what comes to mind.
- 1:03:03SPEAKER_00: Thank you, John.
- 1:03:04SPEAKER_00: It took me some time to actually come up with a name for this podcast.
- 1:03:09SPEAKER_00: When I was brainstorming, it took me a couple of weeks.
- 1:03:11I wanted it to be about communication and also how we can
- 1:03:16create some better
- 1:03:17SPEAKER_00: communication,
- 1:03:18SPEAKER_00: greater impact.
- 1:03:20SPEAKER_00: That's great.
- 1:03:21SPEAKER_00: And just like you've been mentioning today,
- 1:03:23SPEAKER_00: communication is vital for not only our career,
- 1:03:26SPEAKER_00: but also our personal relationships.
- 1:03:29SPEAKER_00: So communication in the home, add work.
- 1:03:33SPEAKER_00: in life.
- 1:03:35SPEAKER_00: And I think you are a perfect example of this.
- 1:03:41SPEAKER_00: You're a wonderful communicator.
- 1:03:43And you've also shared with us how we can become better
- 1:03:47communicators and speakers.
- 1:03:49SPEAKER_00: And in that way, we can become more influential and persuasive.
- 1:03:54SPEAKER_00: Now, of course, you've talked about good intentions.
- 1:03:57SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure that people listening have good intentions,
- 1:04:00and the intention is to become better speakers and
- 1:04:04communicators so that we can get
- 1:04:06SPEAKER_00: our ideas across.
- 1:04:09SPEAKER_00: And so I think thinking about speaking of meaning,
- 1:04:13SPEAKER_00: we can talk and speak and communicate in a clear,
- 1:04:17SPEAKER_00: concise,
- 1:04:18SPEAKER_00: compelling,
- 1:04:20SPEAKER_00: meaningful way with empathy.
- 1:04:24SPEAKER_00: When I thought about a guest to this show,
- 1:04:27your name came up because I've seen you up on the stage and
- 1:04:32I've also seen you and
- 1:04:33SPEAKER_00: met you in person and you're also a good friend.
- 1:04:36SPEAKER_00: And I know how you can touch lives with the way you communicate.
- 1:04:43SPEAKER_01: Well, that's very kind of you to say, I really appreciate it.
- 1:04:46SPEAKER_01: And I want to say kudos to you for starting this podcast.
- 1:04:48I know that there's a lot involved in terms of the logistics
- 1:04:52and the preparation.
- 1:04:53It's a lot of work,
- 1:04:54but I think it's really important work that you're doing.
- 1:04:57SPEAKER_01: I think if you can play a role and you are playing a role.
- 1:05:01helping your listeners think about their communication style
- 1:05:04about how they can
- 1:05:05become more effective better communicators and who in turn have
- 1:05:09a positive impact
- 1:05:10on others it's it's the ripple effect I grew up in a small town
- 1:05:18called Port Coburn
- 1:05:19in southern Ontario in Canada and Port Coburn sits on Lake Erie
- 1:05:23one of the five
- 1:05:23SPEAKER_01: great lakes in the middle of North America
- 1:05:26And we didn't live on the lake,
- 1:05:28but we lived close enough that I could walk to it.
- 1:05:30SPEAKER_01: And in the summertime,
- 1:05:31what I would love to do when I was a little boy would go down
- 1:05:33early in the morning
- 1:05:35SPEAKER_01: when there was nobody there.
- 1:05:37SPEAKER_01: Then I would have this huge beach all to myself.
- 1:05:40SPEAKER_01: And there were days when there was no wind.
- 1:05:42SPEAKER_01: The air was clear.
- 1:05:44SPEAKER_01: The water was like glass.
- 1:05:46And I could look across the lake and I could see the shoreline
- 1:05:48of upstate New York
- 1:05:50SPEAKER_01: in the United States.
- 1:05:51SPEAKER_01: And for me at the time,
- 1:05:52that was the most exotic place in the world because it was a
- 1:05:54foreign country.
- 1:05:56And what I would love to do is pick the biggest rock I could
- 1:05:59and I would throw it
- 1:06:00SPEAKER_01: into the lake and it would land with this plop.
- 1:06:02SPEAKER_01: And then I would watch the ripples spread out.
- 1:06:05And I would imagine that one of those ripples made it all the
- 1:06:08way over to touch the
- 1:06:09SPEAKER_01: shores of the U.S.
- 1:06:11And I often think of those days now doing what I'm doing and
- 1:06:15you doing what you're
- 1:06:16SPEAKER_01: doing is because...
- 1:06:17the the rock that's the message where it lands is the audience
- 1:06:22and yet but it's the
- 1:06:23ripples that make the difference because your audience that
- 1:06:26you're impacting people
- 1:06:27will hear this and they will go off and do something which
- 1:06:29impacts others which and
- 1:06:30they will impact others and so on and so on and so i think it's
- 1:06:34it's a great
- 1:06:35metaphor for your podcast because that's what you're doing you
- 1:06:38are cat throwing
- 1:06:39stones and making ripples and learning along the way too we're
- 1:06:44always learning
- 1:06:45SPEAKER_01: everyone
- 1:06:47SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 1:06:48Before we wrap up,
- 1:06:49I always include some practical advice,
- 1:06:52some framework for our listeners.
- 1:06:54What small habit or daily practice would you give to a listener
- 1:07:01right now if they
- 1:07:02SPEAKER_00: want to improve their communication skills?
- 1:07:06SPEAKER_01: There are lots of things that people can do.
- 1:07:08SPEAKER_01: The most powerful are the ones where you are actually speaking.
- 1:07:12SPEAKER_01: So some quick thoughts.
- 1:07:14SPEAKER_01: You can turn on the camera on your computer.
- 1:07:18Speak for three minutes because we have to do a lot of online
- 1:07:21speaking like you and
- 1:07:22SPEAKER_01: I are doing right now.
- 1:07:23SPEAKER_01: Then watch yourself.
- 1:07:25SPEAKER_01: It's painful, but you learn.
- 1:07:27SPEAKER_01: I think second tip.
- 1:07:29SPEAKER_01: Be proactive with feedback.
- 1:07:31SPEAKER_01: If you're working in an office and you're giving presentations,
- 1:07:34SPEAKER_01: many times people give a presentation,
- 1:07:36SPEAKER_01: they ask for feedback after and people say,
- 1:07:38SPEAKER_01: oh,
- 1:07:38SPEAKER_01: it was great,
- 1:07:39SPEAKER_01: which doesn't help me at all.
- 1:07:42SPEAKER_01: It doesn't tell me anything.
- 1:07:44Many times people are afraid or hesitant to give feedback
- 1:07:48because they don't want
- 1:07:48SPEAKER_01: to hurt people's feelings.
- 1:07:50SPEAKER_01: But if you're proactive,
- 1:07:51if I know you're going to be in the audience when I'm speaking
- 1:07:54and I come up to you
- 1:07:55SPEAKER_01: and I say,
- 1:07:55SPEAKER_01: Ibrahim,
- 1:07:55SPEAKER_01: I know you're going to be there on Thursday's presentation.
- 1:07:59I'm really trying to work on pausing more and also making
- 1:08:04better eye contact with the audience.
- 1:08:06I'd really appreciate it afterwards if you would give me
- 1:08:09feedback on those two things.
- 1:08:12You're going to be much more comfortable telling me what you
- 1:08:15really think because
- 1:08:16SPEAKER_01: I've asked you to do this.
- 1:08:17SPEAKER_01: I've given you the permission.
- 1:08:19I think people can join a club like Toastmasters where they can
- 1:08:24get up on their
- 1:08:24SPEAKER_01: feet to speak and practice and just use it as a laboratory.
- 1:08:29SPEAKER_01: I think watching talks,
- 1:08:32SPEAKER_01: you know,
- 1:08:32SPEAKER_01: watch a TED talk or any kind of talk on YouTube,
- 1:08:35SPEAKER_01: watch a speaker,
- 1:08:37but make some notes about what are some things you liked that
- 1:08:41they're doing?
- 1:08:42And what are a couple of things where you thought,
- 1:08:45I didn't like this so much?
- 1:08:46SPEAKER_01: Because when we start listening to others,
- 1:08:49SPEAKER_01: watching other speeches with this analytical perspective,
- 1:08:52SPEAKER_01: it gets us to reflect on our own speaking as well.
- 1:08:55SPEAKER_01: So there's some quick ideas.
- 1:08:57SPEAKER_00: So what I hear you say is speak more,
- 1:09:00SPEAKER_00: be open to honest feedback and join,
- 1:09:05SPEAKER_00: for instance,
- 1:09:06SPEAKER_00: a club where you get to not only speak online in front of a camera,
- 1:09:11but also to a live audience and learn more about public
- 1:09:15speaking by watching,
- 1:09:16SPEAKER_00: for instance,
- 1:09:16SPEAKER_00: a TED talk.
- 1:09:17SPEAKER_01: Yeah, watch TED talk.
- 1:09:19SPEAKER_01: There are books, there are blogs, there's all kinds of things.
- 1:09:22SPEAKER_00: So I know you have a blog, mannerofspeaking.org.
- 1:09:26SPEAKER_00: If people want to contact you, where can they find you?
- 1:09:30SPEAKER_01: I'm very active on LinkedIn.
- 1:09:33SPEAKER_01: I also have a YouTube channel, John Zimmer, manner of speaking.
- 1:09:36SPEAKER_01: They can find me there.
- 1:09:38I have an Instagram account as well,
- 1:09:41though I'm not that active on Instagram.
- 1:09:43SPEAKER_01: I have it, but I only use it on my laptop.
- 1:09:45SPEAKER_01: I don't have it on my phone.
- 1:09:47SPEAKER_01: I would say the best places would be the website,
- 1:09:50SPEAKER_01: mannerofspeaking.org or LinkedIn or my YouTube channel.
- 1:09:54SPEAKER_01: Those would be the top three.
- 1:09:56SPEAKER_01: Tell us about your blog, John.
- 1:09:58SPEAKER_01: Oh, the blog.
- 1:09:59SPEAKER_01: I started this blog in 2014.
- 1:10:03SPEAKER_01: So that's 11 years ago.
- 1:10:06SPEAKER_01: And I thought, I have no idea how long I'm going to keep doing this.
- 1:10:09And I was reading like,
- 1:10:10you know,
- 1:10:11was it 80% of blogs or more close after a month?
- 1:10:15SPEAKER_01: But, you know, 14 years later, it's still going strong.
- 1:10:18SPEAKER_01: It's got almost a thousand posts.
- 1:10:21SPEAKER_01: It's had a lot of visitors, like you mentioned.
- 1:10:25SPEAKER_01: And...
- 1:10:27SPEAKER_01: I really enjoy sharing things online with people.
- 1:10:31I get lots of nice comments back from people saying this was
- 1:10:34really helpful for
- 1:10:35SPEAKER_01: this or that presentation.
- 1:10:38SPEAKER_01: And that makes me feel good.
- 1:10:39It makes me feel like this idea of purpose,
- 1:10:41like I'm doing something that is bigger than me.
- 1:10:44SPEAKER_01: And people say, isn't it a lot of work?
- 1:10:47SPEAKER_01: It is a lot of work, but it doesn't feel like work.
- 1:10:50SPEAKER_01: I enjoy it.
- 1:10:51SPEAKER_01: And so it's out there.
- 1:10:54I try and post one thing a week so you can subscribe to get the
- 1:10:59post sent to your mailbox.
- 1:11:01SPEAKER_01: It's not spammy at all.
- 1:11:03SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it's something I enjoy.
- 1:11:05SPEAKER_01: I hope to be able to do it for another 10 years.
- 1:11:08SPEAKER_00: Wonderful.
- 1:11:08SPEAKER_00: I think you've had over five million readers so far.
- 1:11:13SPEAKER_01: Yeah, visitors.
- 1:11:13SPEAKER_01: I think so.
- 1:11:14SPEAKER_01: Yeah, something like that.
- 1:11:15SPEAKER_00: Great, John.
- 1:11:17SPEAKER_00: Well, John, this has been wonderful talking to you.
- 1:11:20SPEAKER_00: Very valuable.
- 1:11:21SPEAKER_00: You are a wonderful person, human being, a wonderful communicator.
- 1:11:27and you have a powerful way of communicating and it has been an
- 1:11:34honor and I've
- 1:11:36SPEAKER_00: enjoyed every second of this.
- 1:11:38SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much.
- 1:11:39I am confident our listeners have learned a lot today and I
- 1:11:44look forward to seeing
- 1:11:45SPEAKER_00: you in person again.
- 1:11:46SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
- 1:11:47SPEAKER_01: Ibrahim, it was a real pleasure.
- 1:11:49SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me on the podcast.
- 1:11:50SPEAKER_01: I wish you the best of success with it.
- 1:11:52SPEAKER_01: And yes, I hope that our paths cross in person very, very soon.
- 1:11:58SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Speaking of Meaning.
- 1:12:01SPEAKER_00: If today's episode helped you see communication in a new way,
- 1:12:05SPEAKER_00: share it with someone you care about,
- 1:12:06SPEAKER_00: a friend,
- 1:12:07SPEAKER_00: a partner or a colleague who wants to grow.
- 1:12:10SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode.
- 1:12:14SPEAKER_00: I'm Ibrahim.
- 1:12:16SPEAKER_00: Until next time, better communication, greater impact.