Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Nate Jackson ATLANTA Crowd Work Pack

Transcript

Nate Jackson ATLANTA Crowd Work Pack · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, listen, my name is Tip Harris.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Hey, let me introduce to you the king of crowd work.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Give it up right now for my partner, Atlanta. Give
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: it up right now. Nate motherfucking Jackson.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Talked to the white lady that about got me arrested
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: a couple seconds ago.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: What's your name? You look rich.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: You got on a blazer. Goddamn, you got on silk pants?
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Your pants was silk? Hell yeah, you got on MC
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Hammer pants. You got money. What bank you on?
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: You rich. No, you got money. I can see it
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: on you. Hell yeah, you got all that little bitty
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: jewelry on. Little wedding ring, solid gold. Big speech. You
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: got money. You can fill it up.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: What you do for a living? You work in the
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: medical field. Sound like money to me, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: What do you do in the medical field? You oversee?
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: That's a pay raise. I didn't even hear the rest.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I heard medical and oversee. You the doctor? You a doctor? Dang.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: What do you oversee? Orthopedic offices? Multiple locations?
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, give me $ 1, 000.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Don't look away.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I need the money. Give me the goddamn money. You
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: and Big Speak go half on it. So you work
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: at the medical office for orthopedics. That's children, ain't it, orthopedics?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: What's that, bones? Okay.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: So do you actually fix bones or you just make
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: sure the bones get fixed?
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: How many offices are you overseeing? Eleven?
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Give me $ 3, 000.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: You rich as a mother. You don't even remember what
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: you paid for that ticket right there, huh? You forgot.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: You're like, it's just, it's for my joy. Who you with?
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: This is your friend, sister? Yeah, y'all got the same
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: nose and top lip. I see it. I see it now.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Are they on the screen? Can y'all see it? Yeah.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: And so what's your, you the sister that does the drugs?
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I see you got your hair a different color.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Is that you? That's you? Hey, that's you? If I
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: my bones up, I know where to go. What do
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: you do for money, sis? I work for a tech office.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: You work for where? Tech office. A what? Tech office.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Tech office? What that mean? Government. You work for the government?
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Tech office. So you got money. So these two rich
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: ass sisters right here. You married? You married? I see
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: a ring on her. What about you? You single? How much?
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Almost just flat out asked, how much money you got?
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: When you say you work at the TAC office, jump.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: You getting that money, huh? How long you been down
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: there at the TAC office?
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: 24 years. You about to be retired in two months.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Then what you going to do with all your time?
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: You don't even know? You ever been to Seattle?
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Huh?
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: You ever been hit from the back on like a ferry?
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Goddamn right, I'll pull that goddamn Halle Berry wig off
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: your head. That's the Halle Berry wig from Bap. Y'all
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: seen Baps? White people, there was a movie called Baps,
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: came out. Let me make sure everybody on the same page.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: What size is your head, man? Six and what? You bull.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Turn it sideways. Yeah, damn. Your head got ass.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Your head's thick than a... Come with six wings at
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: the entrance of Magic City.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Your head big as a.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: God damn, what you dream about last night? Saw sinners
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: in IMAX. You a youth pastor or something? What you
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: do for a living?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Why you look like that? You a youth pastor or something?
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Facilities and construction management?
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, brother, doing your goddamn thing. Nice, strong, black job.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: You hear that white lady? He doing facility management.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Facilities.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Do you manage any of her places? She got 11
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: of them. You work at any of those? Do you
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: need any new places? I'll hook y'all up. Y'all take
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: over the world.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: No? Stop shaking your head so hard. You're going to
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: kill some goddamn body.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: You're waving that big-ass head, man.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: You almost blew her eyelashes off. So what's your name? Dwayne?
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Dwayne Head. God damn.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I tried to turn around to see if it was
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: the same size on the screen. You got a little
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: dent in top of, what happened? Put your head down,
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: what's that little divot? Damn, you got some old ass fingers.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: God damn. Were you in a hot tub? God, did
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: you see? Hold your hand up. God damn. You got
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: the hands of a mummy. Did you just get a
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: cast taken off? How you get your hand? Let me see.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: It look like baby toes. How old are you? Huh? 29. Oh,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna shit on myself. You 49?
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: I can see you look young in the face. But
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: your goddamn hands have been here before. Hell yeah, you
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: done goddamn, you done pushed the.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Wheel power or something. That was out there.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Anybody got some more cotton they want, throw it in
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: my wheelbarrow. Somebody put some cotton in my wheelbarrow. The
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: wine ain't here.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I walked off like this. Anyways.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: You got the biggest head I've seen in six months.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: You be thinking outside the box, huh?
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: You got good.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I say all the time, all the time. You be
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: having the best ideas in the room, huh? So you're
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: getting money though.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: You're getting money. You're getting to the money. You all right.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: You can use some more business. I'll market your business
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: to the people. It's packed in here. You need a
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: little commercial with help? You work for the government or something?
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: No? You interact with the government, so no. So you
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: can't market yourself because you work with the government? Hold on. Ma'am.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: He can't get a commercial because he work for you?
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Hold on.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: That's a lie, big head. You can say something. You're
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: a nonprofit? You don't make no money? You report to Canada?
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: And the United States? In the same message? You just
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: lay your head across the border, huh? Ha! Hey, everybody.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: We made $ 20. Your hands look like you did a
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: handstand all the way from Ottawa. Hold your hand up
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: one more time for the people that didn't see it.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Goddamn. What I don't get is how... No, keep it up.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: The part I don't understand is how it's flat and
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: round at the same time. It's impressive though, man. How
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: many brains you got? Like one and a half.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: That's amazing.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Well, I wish we could have marketed your business because
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: I'm about small business being successful.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: I want to tell people what you do. You're a
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: big business. You don't need no help. Hell yeah. Y'all
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: are ahead of the game.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he the head of the chamber.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Ain't nobody helping him. He mad as hell.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: Man, I'm about to head out. I believe in love, though, man.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: That's your woman? She love that big-ass head, don't she?
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Yes, sir. She be rubbing it, huh? Look, there it is. Yeah, yeah.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: She be shoe shining that bitch. Hold still, Dwayne. How
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: long you been with your queen? Nine years. Married, too.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I see a big shiny ring on, too. Y'all doing good.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: How'd you meet her? Yeah, how'd you meet her? Let's
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: talk about your love origin story. On Tinder?
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: You fit in the profile picture? Your picture look like this.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: She tried to swipe. His picture was like, no.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: No. No. She's like, get this out of here. I'm
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: enjoying this moment, Dwayne. I really am. Let's come down
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: here to the two women in the rock paper right here.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: A little headlock. Yeah, y'all so gay. I love it, too.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I love it. How long y'all been together right here?
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Five years, okay. How did.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Two beautiful black women meet and then just talk each
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: other into each other? Were y'all lesbians before that? Okay,
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: so you already, you knew what it was. Y'all met
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: at Bulldagger's. Y'all like, how the he know about Bulldagger's?
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: It's across the street from a comedy club. I just
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: came outside. So how do y'all know, how did y'all
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: meet and stuff? You stroking out that arm, I'm getting jealous.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Lesbians know how women wanna be treated, cause they women. Fellas,
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: if you with your girl, rub her like that. Give
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: her some lesbian attention right now.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Is there a particular pattern you're doing into her arm?
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Are you doing the alphabet or is it just a
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: gentle stroke? It's a gentle stroke?
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: You wet, huh? She's stroking the out your goddamn arm.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: I'm wet, I don't know what you doing. But I'm wet.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: When her finger went and did like that and then
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: hit back down like that, I said, my God, she
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: hitting your shoulder like a. Why you rubbing her like that? Damn,
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: y'all gonna make it forever. So where did y'all meet,
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: at a car show? That's the most dykest thing I
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: could think of right there.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Where did y'all meet at? At work. Oh, oh. I
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: think your coworker up there. Where y'all work at? Y'all famous.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Where you work at? You work at the hospital? Orthopedics?
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: What do you do?
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Surgical services. You do the surgery or you just hand
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: the tools to the surgeons? Okay, so they'd be like,
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: 50 cc's, blah, blah.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: And he'd be like....
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Why you hand it to me like that? Just hand
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: it to me regularly. That's how I use my hands, Doc.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I don't give a.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: What if her hand always did that?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: She's like, I just... Guys, I don't know what's wrong
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: with my fucking hands. It's called touch aphasiosis. You saw
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: her at work like, what's up with baby girl with
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: the hand? Her hand always do that jellyfish. She's like,
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: do that right here. So y'all work in the same
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: surgery room together? I'd be mad as I'm about to
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: go under and y'all flirting.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, make sure you get my spleen out.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: They're like, start counting down from 100. I'm like, 99, 98. Hey, man,
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: why are they each other in the corner, man? Hey, man,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: don't put me under, man. We're in each other's corner, man.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Come on, man. Come, please. Please, don't do this. Wake
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: up with my spleen gone, ass all loose. I'm having fun, man.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Let's talk to the white man with the black lady
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: in the headlock. We're going to go right here. Are
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: you looking away? You don't want You're in there? Come on, Chuck,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: let's do this. How'd you meet your queen? Got you
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: a beautiful black woman. What'd you do? What'd you say?
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: You gotta speak up. You ain't got no lips. I
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: can't read your face. You gotta talk louder. You ain't
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: got no lips. I can't read your mouth, hoe. Help
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: me out. Sis, could you speak up on behalf of y'all?
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Y'all in love, right? He got you in his arms, right?
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: How long you been together?
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: 21 years.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Y'all the first interracial couple.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah. They the first ones. They broke the ice
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: on this. How did you meet her? She was bringing
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: pie in the house. We're like, who's that new one?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for Django. For real, so you met in
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: high school, right? 21 years ago. Sure? You just going
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: to go with that? I want the truth, though. I
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: believe in love. I want to know the origin story.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: You weren't in high school? It was summertime?
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: It was.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: He just pulled up on his Harley. He was like,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: you know what? I'm tired of Tyrone breaking my heart.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: What's up, Chuck? He's like, get on the bike, my
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Nubian queen. I like y'all. Y'all got a family, kids,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: all that? How many kids you got? One. Outstanding. Little
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: asshole or they behave?
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Huh? What you mean not anymore? Does that mean you're
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: a disciplinarian? Oh, I thought you smacked the baby to death.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like, God damn.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Okay. And you love her?
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Scale from 1 to 3,000. Scale from 1 to 3,000.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: 3,000? She'd be like, no, that's right. You was holding
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: him accountable.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: How much you love him back? Scale from 1 to 7. Okay.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: One to seven. You gonna say seven?
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: So he loves you 2,993 more than you love him?
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Y'all not gonna make it. Y'all not equal to yours.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: You supposed to say what he say. He say 3,000,
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: you say 3,000.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: The scale. Who loves who more? You think it's equal?
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Then you guys need to talk. Because it's never equal
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: in a relationship. Anybody that's been together long enough, you
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: know which one of you is crazy. He all side
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: in the rain. Come back in the house. You didn't
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: tell me you love me when you went outside. I'm
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: going to the stove. You got to say it. You
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: got to say it. Jesus Christ, James. You need to
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: make sure you know. Because he likes you 3,000. And
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: he white.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: You break his heart, you're going in the wall. You're
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: going right in the wall. He ain't going to kill you.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: You're going to be in there with a little slit
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: in the wall.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: What the fuck?
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: Chuck!
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: He's going to be putting cheese slices through. I told
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: you you're not going anywhere. I said, either me or nobody.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: White people love different, man. They love for real. I
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: seen the TV shows.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I seen it. Only people love harder than the white man? Lesbians?
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah. Lesbian will tunnel into your house. It's just
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: not over. What's your name, sir? Krith.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Krith?
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute, sir. Say your name one more time
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: for me.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Krith.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: You got a speech impediment? Damn, Krith.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Krith. That's unfortunate. I just turned the lights on. You're
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: the second Chris I met that can't say your own name.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Is it Chris or Christopher?
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Just Chris? All right, outstanding. And what do you do
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: for a living, Chris? You're what? You're retired? What you
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: used to do? Huh? You was in the Army? Man,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: thank you for your service. Hell yeah. How long you serve?
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: How long were you in? You can't hear.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: A grenade went off next to your ass. He's like,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: my name is Chris.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: Bah! Chris.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: Chris. Tighten up, Chris. Them big-ass ears. Listen to me.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Put them on the screen. I want to see Chris's ears.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah. And so you met while you were in
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: the Army? How'd you meet her? We gonna move on.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: He literally is trying to read my lips.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Echo Niner Niner. I don't know what the fuck
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: is going on. Amy, Chris, I'll be back in a
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: little bit. Calm down. You're scaring that grandma behind you.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: I see you, ma'am.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you for not getting up out that chair. You
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: helped a lot of black people out that day when
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: you stayed in that chair. Shine a light right there.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: Right there, Rosa Parks.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: No, that's Kai Sinat. Wrong person. Right there.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: That's right. That's Rosa Parks. What's your shirt say? Illegal immigration? Oh,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: you didn't sit on our bus. You sat on a
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: boat or something. You do look native now that I
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: see the shirt and then the way your nose is
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: set up.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: You the chief of somewhere? What's your name?
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Huh?
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Lori? I did not expect that to be your name.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I thought she'd be like, Umafalo.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Is Lori your real name or that's the name you
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: be telling people when you out here and about?
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: What's your native name? She's like, it's still Lori, y'all.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: They be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, here goes Lori.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, Lori. Who you with? That's your boyfriend?
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: That's your son?
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Clearly, I can see that, but your son look high
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: as a right now.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Goddamn, is that edibles or you, is that flour? You're like,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: this is how I look. Goddamn.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: I like this crowd, I could just shoot these shots everywhere.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: You beautiful right here in the red. Hell yeah, got
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: all your toes. You by yourself, you ain't got no husband?
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: You by yourself?
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Shut up.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah, you braid hair? What you do for a living?
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: You're in the army, that's why you ain't got no fingernails?
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: You fine, though. What you doing in the Army? A
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Black Hawk mechanic?
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Ooh. Black Hawk down. Wow. So you really, like, you
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing. You just look at a helicopter
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: and be like, I know how to fix it. Goddamn.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: You can listen to one? You're like, that's a carburetor.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: So where are you, do you, that's in Atlanta they
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: doing that?
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: Savannah.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Savannah. Outstanding. Somebody up there is upset. No! We ain't
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: got no damn helicopters in Atlanta. What's your name? You stunning. Bianca?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: You got bottom teeth, baby? Let me see. Hell yeah.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: You got tonsils? Hey, chill out now. Chill out, Bianca.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: About to be a black hawk. You pretty though, god damn.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna come back to you. You making me blush?
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I wanna come over here and talk to you with
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: the titties. You got some crazy titties. Just say yes, sir.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Right here in the vest with the titties hanging out
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: the top, please. If you don't mind zooming in on
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: the titties right there, I'd appreciate that. Zooming in on
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: the titties. Hey, titties, what you do for a living, titties?
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: You a what? Chiropractor?
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: You just be like, ah! I feel fantastic. Shoot down
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: just a little bit so we see how much titties
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: There you go. Move your arm, baby. Let them live.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: Let them shine. There you go. Look at that. Fucking button, boy,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: that goddamn button is hanging on. That goddamn button like.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: That goddamn Samoan button on your shirt. You got some
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: big ass goddamn titties. You got a booty on your chest.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Saucy Santana on their ass. And then who is this
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: with you, the little guy? Who is that?
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: That's your husband? You be putting in work, you be
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: handling yourself, don't hunt. He like, yeah, yeah, I get
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: them all, Bob. I pick them titties up and get them.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I said, you get them fucking titties.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Goddamn big ass guy. She be the kill chew, she
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: let them go. What's your name, sir? Isaiah, nice to
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: meet you. Thank you for annunciating. Thank you for speaking up.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Chris is up. So Isaiah, what you do for a living, brother?
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: You're a lawyer?
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: You getting that money? You defending, you defending or putting
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: brothers away?
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: What you doing? Defending, outstanding. Where you a lawyer at, man?
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Somebody might need your services. Where? Fulton County, Angwinette? You busy.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: He got folks at Ann Gwinnett. You ain't supposed to
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: be here right now. You got to read and highlight.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: And so you good at what you do? You got
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: a good record? Like, what are you, like 48 and over?
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: How long you been doing that?
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Eight years. Oh, you just getting started. You're a little
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: baby lawyer. One day when you get a chance, you
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: gonna be a big lawyer. It's nice to meet you, man.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: Anybody need an attorney? Oh, God. You said it three times.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: I know, but I'm just saying I can't do two.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: But I feel like when you go out there and
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: the people go crazy, I'm not even going to tell you.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: To get off.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: Don't do that.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Don't do that? No. It's going to be a podcast.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: 7-10.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: 7-10. And then 15 will be for y'all.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: Uh-uh.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: 7-10. I ain't doing 15. 7-10. I'm not doing 15.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Do you need a light? I'm not doing 15.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing 15. I will not give you a 15.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: You're fucking up right now, baby.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: No, no.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: He hear the words you said.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: No, do whatever you want. No. I should sit down?
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: And they cut the video off earlier. He killed that shit.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: The music came on. He said, y'all got me fucked up.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Turn that shit off. And then we don't have the level.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: They didn't show that. That was my first paid scene.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: Was that Barclays Center?
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: That's crazy.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Give me $ 60, 000.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: $ 60, 000? Wow.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: You made more the first set. I ain't made $ 60, 000 since.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Not in one set. Not in one set. What's the
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: shortest that you've done?
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: I can say Shaq's coming to all stores.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: How long was that?
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: What was another one?
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: Short?
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: No, no, no.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: Chappelle.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Chappelle. I show up with that.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: No, I open up more.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Well, him and Keller did that tour.
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: He did like three.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: No, he said it was the shortest set. That wasn't
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: a five minute set. It was five minutes. It wasn't
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: a five minute set.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: And it wasn't, it wasn't a five minute set.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: I think, well, I remember shit being short. It may
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: have been six.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: I promise you. Did it feel constrained? No.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: Did they spare shit? Absolutely not. I could do my
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: shit on there. Shaq coming to All-Star. First time I
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: got to Shaq coming to All-Star, I had a five-minute sick.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, that was, I didn't go there. I didn't go there.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: Shut up. Okay.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: That was Texas.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: That was L.A.