Latest / The Resilience Project / Adoptee Bodywork & Reiki: Meet Diane Maury, LMT, with Dr. Liz DeBetta | Un-M-Othered Retreat

Transcript

Adoptee Bodywork & Reiki: Meet Diane Maury, LMT, with Dr. Liz DeBetta | Un-M-Othered Retreat · The Resilience Project

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Hi y'all, I'm Julie.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a trauma-informed adoptee coach and somatic healing guide.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_03: After overcoming deep abandonment wounds, I now help adult adoptees move from feeling lost and disconnected to experiencing profound self-belonging.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_03: I know what it is like to carry the weight of abandonment, to feel stuck in patterns of longing, adapting, and searching for belonging.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: To have tried every healing modality available and come up empty.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_03: My own healing has taught me this.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: The answers aren't out there.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: They're buried within me.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm here to guide you home to yourself.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_03: The Resilience Project podcast brings voice, visibility, and validation to the parts of adoption society rarely names, but all of us feel.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: Through an trauma-informed somatic lens, I explore the lived experiences of the entire adoption constellation with a tender emphasis on the adoptee experience.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: This podcast goes beyond storytelling into soul telling.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: It offers embodied insight, compassionate education, and a path towards awareness, hope, and strength.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_03: Each episode invites listeners to understand adoption more deeply, not just with the mind, but with the nervous system, and to reconnect with the truth, identity, and belonging that were always yours to come home to.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_03: Before we get in today's episode, I want to invite you to something.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_03: And that's because adoption didn't just happen in your mind.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_03: It happened to your body long before you had words for it.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: So I've decided to bring back Bring Your Burden.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: It's a free live gathering for adult adoptees on Zoom next Thursday, October 29th at 6:30 Mountain and 8:30 Eastern.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_03: No slides, no teaching, just a steady room to bring the real version of your story with people who understand it from the inside.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_03: You don't even have to share, you can just listen.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: And if you can't make it live, register anyway, and then you'll receive the replay.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_03: The link is in the show notes, and you don't have to carry it alone for another day.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, let's get into today's episode.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome back to the podcast, everybody.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: If you've been with me the last couple of months, you know that something really, really special is coming in December.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: Liz and I sat right here and announced that Unmothered, a revolution in adoptee healing, is happening again December 4th through the 6th at the Red Poppy Center for Renewal in Highland, Michigan.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_03: And on that episode, I told you we were in conversation with another adopted person, a body worker and a Reiki practitioner who we hoped would be joining us.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, she's here, y'all.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I get to introduce her to you today.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna do jazz hands because I'm so excited.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_03: So my sister from another mister, who y'all know I call her that, Dr.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: Liz Davetta, is back.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: And just so you know, Johnston is with us as well.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_03: I want to make sure everybody knows this is our emotional support puppy.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: And then we also have Murphy sitting next to me on the couch.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: He was with us at our first retreat.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_03: So all is well, everybody.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: And Diane may have, I think it's a cat that comes into the is that what you said?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I have two cats and two dogs.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_03: So some of the four may make an appearance.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_03: We are so excited about that.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: So joining us for the first time is Diane Maury.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_03: She is a licensed massage therapist and Reiki practitioner, the founder of Rooted River Wellness, such a cool name.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: And she has spent 20 years creating grounded, compassionate spaces where people can slow down and come back to themselves.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: She's also an adopted person, which means she doesn't just understand this work from her training, she understands it from the inside.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: So here's why this episode matters so much to me, and I know it matters so much to Liz.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: Everything we teach comes back to the body.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's where our story started before we had any words at all for it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: Liz helps us to have the language, to find the language.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_03: I help you listen to the sensations within you.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: And then there's that piece we couldn't fully offer in May.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the body being held, being touched with care, with consent and with choice.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: That's what Diane brings.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: So before we dive in, let me ask you, listener or viewer, what I asked you last time.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_03: Notice what happens in your body.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: Like when you hear the word touch, I'm pausing for a reason.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: Do you notice expansion?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_03: Do you notice bracing or attention?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe even a little bit of both.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_03: Both are welcome and both are information.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_03: Hang on to that as we talk today.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: So, Diane, welcome to the podcast.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: And Liz, of course, welcome back.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's so good to have both of you.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm happy to be here.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: So happy that you're here.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_03: So Diane, can you tell us a little about you?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: Share as much or as little of your adoption story that feels right for you today.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'll try to keep it concise.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: As you both know, it's difficult to give a Cliff Notes version because the stories are always very layered and never-ending.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: Still going.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_04: We will never not be adopted.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: Correct.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_03: Very true.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I was adopted in 1977 in Detroit, Michigan.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: My adoptive parents uh struggled with infertility, which is so common for us.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: They adopted my brother in 1975 through the Methodist children's home in Detroit.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then myself two years later, I was actually in foster care for five months before I got to be with them.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: My birth father that was listed on my birth certificate was AWOL.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: They were looking for him during that period of time to sign the papers.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: So I had a very loving home.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: I had everything I needed, but of course, always felt that sense of not being connected to myself.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: Always wondering, always searching.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Loved Annie.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: That's such a such a common theme that I that I've heard.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: Listen to the the record upstairs of my bedroom on repeat, singing all the songs and feeling so connected to her.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: I uh didn't really search.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: My parents, we always knew we were adopted.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: We I don't recall that conversation, but we always knew.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: They were very open about it.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: We were special, we were chosen.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: We we each took our our role.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: I was the compliant and he was a little bit rebellious.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: He struggled a lot.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's his own story, but I had a lot of struggles in his teens.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I was just on that straight and narrow path to do all the things right, make sure everybody in my family was happy.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: The fixer.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't search until I was, yeah, yeah, the family fixer and still, still doing that.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't search until 2004.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_02: So I started in Michigan from 1945 to 1980, I believe.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: There's a window where everything is closed, all the records are sealed.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I went through the state of Michigan.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um they have uh confidential intermediary programs.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: They were able to locate my birth mother.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: So you have to do one at a time.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I started with her, of course.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: So we corresponded with letters.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: We exchanged two letters, I believe, before I sent some photos unprompted.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: I just was asking for photos of her.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: Here's some photos of me.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: Up until that point, her letters, they were kind, but they were very surface level.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't receive any answers to any of my questions or anything.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: It was just very, very surface level uh information about her personality and her hobbies, things like that, which I still was the gold to me at the time.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, a little bit frustrated that I wasn't getting anything deeper.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: After I sent those photos, I never heard from her again.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: So over the years, I've sent probably four letters and it's been about five years.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's been 10 years, not five, since I've sent her a letter.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: I have made contact with, let's see, skip ahead many years I had my kids.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, you go through that period of not being able to imagine ever having let go of that baby, all of the things that come with that, put that search on hold.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: We go through our phases of searching, and then we can't, we don't have capacity for it.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: So we put that on the back burner.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: Started searching again in 2019.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: I did 23andMe, and I was able to find a paternal aunt who we spoke on the phone right away that night.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: She, I'm not surprised.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: I have she has twin brothers.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: So what it was another difficult thing to try to figure out which one of them it would be because they have almost identical DNA.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: They're identical twins.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: She encouraged me to write letters to both of them.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: I just didn't feel quite right about that.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I went back to the confidential intermediary and they did make contact with him and he did not respond.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I also made contact with a maternal uncle.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: So it would be my birth mom's brother, half-brother, who was also searching for her.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: So he had never met her.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: He was 10 years younger than her.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Their father had apparently left my birth mother and her mother when she was very young, and then remarried and had him.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: So we have developed a really nice connection.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm really happy about that.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: We met in person and we maintained contact.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: I did give him her contact information, and he was unable to make a connection there too.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: They spoke on the phone a couple of times, but he just said it was very again, not my story to tell, but he was unable to make that connection turn into what he had hoped for as well.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: So we just keep in contact with each other, and that's a nice connection to have.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like it's so much more than I had before.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um I don't know where else to to go with that after.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_02: Let's see, that was the search and what we had found.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: I also did ancestry.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: And connected with a half-sister on my father's side and sent her letters and never heard from her either.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: So there's a whole lot of secondary rejection that we've been muddling through.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: So that's where I'm at right now with all of that.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: I have always had, again, issues with self-esteem, with self-confidence.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: I my brother had addiction issues in his teens, and I did as well in my 30s.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Made the very conscious decision to become sober in 2024.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: And at that, thank you.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: At that point, you start to you get sober, but then you do the work of why was I numbing in the first place?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: What was I numbing?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: And right around that same time is when I discovered the Adopt E community.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I started gobbling up podcasts, and from there you're gobbling up books and attended my first conference in April of last year.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: So that has really opened up.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: So even though I was in search and some degree of reunion, I was still very much in the fog until about three years ago.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm just it's opened up a whole new world.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's been a lot of difficult work, but I'm so, so grateful for the connections that I've made in that short period of time and the work that I've been able to do, how much more clear things have become just in my own personal life.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: So it's an ongoing process.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's a journey that keeps that keeps giving.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's the gift that keeps on giving because we're adopted.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: There's so much I skip over, but that's the Cliff Notes version.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_03: That's okay.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: I think Cliff Notes is good for now.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_03: And thank you so much for sharing.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we'll we will learn more and more as we continue to work together.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_03: So the interesting thing to me is how you found your way into massage and Reiki 20 years ago.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_03: Was it connected to your own healing, or did that connection come later?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: Connection came much later.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: I got into massage therapy because well, I was working in corporate as a professional recruiter, which is what I went to school for.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: But I've always been fascinated by science, biology, human physiology, the human body, how it works, how it has the ability to heal itself.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: I've also been always been very interested in and knowing that there's something more.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: There's feeling energy when you walk into a room, just being aware of the fact that when you're in nature, you feel so much more at peace, so much more at ease and very connected to things around you.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: So those two things I never put together until much later.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: But uh, I decided after five years of working in corporate that that was not gonna be for me and went back to massage therapy school and did it as a side hustle for several years because I needed insurance and all those things.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: So that was when I started to see where the things interconnect and how they work together.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: There were some Reiki classes offered.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: This is back in 2005.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: Loved them, was just, oh, okay.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: So this all makes sense.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: This, how this all, it's not just a feeling, it's not a belief.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's a knowing now for me, especially after all these extra years of research and reading and gobbling up everything I can about energy work.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: So it's been an evolution, the way that I work with my clients.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: Started off with really you can't, as you both know, you can't separate the two.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: Almost always it's uh people get injured doing things in sports or work or whatever, but very, very often, if not always, it's connected to something deep or something emotional, something that happened.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: So it's my passion.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's again, it's a knowing, it's it's just something I feel very lucky to continue to learn about and continue to do for I love that.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much for sharing that.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_03: And again, I I talked about it in the beginning, but I love the name of your company, Rooted River Wellness.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: So, where does that come from and what does rooted mean to you?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: Going back to nature, always been my safe space.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: I remember being a child, and that's where I the number one place I felt connected and felt myself is in nature.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: So trees, I'm a tree hugger through and through.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's just have always uh spoken to me.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I actually several years ago got a tattoo after my youngest was born of a tree that doesn't have leaves.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: So all the branches were designed so that all of the kids' initials were inside the branches.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: So if you look closely, you could see.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: Never dawned on me that that tree didn't have roots until about two years ago.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm looking, I'm like, why doesn't my tree have roots?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: And then of course I look deeper at that, like I feel like my tree doesn't have roots.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, that's powerful.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: So I know I get just got goosebumps myself.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: So we dig deeper and I continue the work that I'm doing trying to figure all this out and peel back the layers, but I have roots now.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, couple years ago, we added to it.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: So now they're two different colors, but at least we're rooted.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know if you'd be willing to share a picture of that with us.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think that'd be really, really cool to see.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love that.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: So, okay, I have a question about this, and well, I'm just gonna ask it.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: So, when did being an adoptee and being a body worker start to feel like the same conversation and did it?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_03: Did you recognize that maybe these yeah, okay, so I'm curious about that.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: And that's more recently as I made those connections with the adoptee community and started doing my own work around finding my roots and knowing that they've always been there, but I didn't feel like they were.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: Now I'm starting to feel like they are and feeling the roots there.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: The uh the river is the flow too, going with the flow, understanding, understanding that that things come up, and as they do, we notice them, we recognize them, and we allow them to move through.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it's those two for me, those are the most important things that I hope I'm able to to give to my clients is the ability to feel grounded, to feel rooted, and to help them understand and how to help their emotions and feelings just flow through us.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: Let them give them permission to let them come up and have faith and hope and understanding that they will flow through, pass through, and then they'll come back and flow through again.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, very connected to even what Liz and I talk about.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: Her four N's, my five C's, really, that's really cool.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: So, what else?
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, you were gonna say something else.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_03: I was gonna jump back to the connection between adoptee and body work, yeah.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: So, and it goes back to exactly that the roots in the in the flowing and understanding how it's just a process that hi, hi puppers.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: The puppy just came into the screen, y'all.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: If you're watching, he's like, excuse me, it's my dinner time.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: He's like it's exactly what he's came to say.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: Person with some Yeah, it's it's it's similar to it's an extension of the process that I'm going through that I now just get to share and and witness and hold space for other people that are going through that, something similar.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not just adoptees.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: I work with people from all walks of life, but it is this is I love Julia and your intro and your uh podcast, the tender emphasis on the adoptee.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: So there's always certain a little extra something that I know I can offer as an adoptee myself because you just get it.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: We just get it.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: And when I have adoptees on my table, it is different.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: We understand each other in a different way, we're connected in a different way, and it really is beautiful.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's beautiful.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: I love that I get to do this.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_03: Me too.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_03: I love that you get to.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: I love that I get to experience it hopefully soon.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: And when you shared that, when you said adoptees on my table are different, what I felt immediately, I got chills all over my body.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I I never take that for granted.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: There's something about the connection as an adopted person to another adopted person, even though our lived experiences are different.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: There is an underlying kinship that I love and appreciate.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_03: So the next thing that I wanted to focus on was your relationship with Liz.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I want to ask Liz this because I just wanna.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_03: So, so there.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_03: So, how did you and Diane connect?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: I know this, but I want the listeners and the viewers to know how you connected.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_03: And when did you know that she belonged in this space with us?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm gonna say that it's it's maybe two years ago now, maybe even more, when Diane first reached out to me.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I just got a random email.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_04: Heard you on a podcast, and I just want to say blah, blah, blah, okay, I'm here.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_04: And then about a year after that, I got another email from her saying, I'm ready to work with you.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_04: I wasn't I needed some time, and like, can I can we talk about that?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_04: And so we had a conversation and started working together one-on-one and have been working together one-on-one for when did we start in January?
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_04: I think so.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so so what it had nine months now?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_04: Mm-hmm.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_04: Good chunk of time.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_04: Uh and as anyone who who has worked with me in any either one-on-one or in the small groups, or there's there's a special connection and friendships form and deep relationship forms that is goes beyond just a client relationship, right?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_04: Because the the nature of this work is so personal and because we have the same lived experience, right?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_04: Our circumstances are different.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_04: Although Diane and one of the things that is is really interesting is that Diane's and my stories are so very similar.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_04: We're the same age.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_04: My brother was also adopted in 1975.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_04: My brother was also the one that pushed all the boundaries and had a lot of has a lot of challenges.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_04: And so we connected over a a lot of similarities in our stories.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_04: Through our time through working together.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_04: And one of the images that has come up a lot in Diane's writing is a river.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_04: And when we were talking through and she was asking about, oh, I need to come up with the name.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, I just want you to remember that this river image keeps coming up and you are the river, right?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_04: And I think that's true for each of us in our different ways.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_04: We have done a significant amount amount of work ourselves in order to be able to occupy the spaces that we occupy and hold the space that we do for other people and guide other people into a space of deeper healing and wholeness in each of our individual practices.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_04: And I think I just a couple months ago, as as Julia's you and I were talking about what this next plan would be, and we're planning to bring it to Michigan, and I thought, well, Diane's local, um, which was also just another great coincidence, and has this beautiful practice that she can offer to adoptees that would be such an amazing complement to what the to what you and I do.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_04: And I could it was like not even a question.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_04: It was just this is what we need to do.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_04: And I have a deep, a deep belief in each of us supporting one another's work.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_04: And so similar to how you and I began the conversation about dreaming up this retreat, it was a way of of co collaborating and supporting the work that each of us has been doing individually for a long time, being able to bring it together.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_04: And so now I'm thinking as I think bigger and and bolder about our community and about the possibilities, the next step was obviously I'm gonna I want to invite another person into this space to help them to help Diane expand her experience in the adoptee community and in her work, but also then for the three of us to really be able to use the synergy that I know we will we will have when we're all in the same space again.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh my gosh, it's very, very true.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_03: I I'm curious, Diane, what went through you when Liz asked?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: What did you notice?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_03: Was there any hesitation or was it an immediate yes?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: It was an immediate yes.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I oh my goodness.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so sorry.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: Your dog.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: Her dog is definitely bothering her right now.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's okay, no worries.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_03: We love peppers.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was surprised and honored, but no hesitation whatsoever.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: I I I really can't explain and put into words what it means to make the work even more meaningful.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: My work is already meaningful, but to be able to use it in this setting and this community, yeah.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: I might have been a little bit speechless.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we're so grateful and I'm I'm honored.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_03: I know Liz and I have big visions for this beyond even just you being there, being able to provide yoga in the future, all the things we we have, we have vision here, and having you as a part of it is beautiful.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_03: So so glad that you're here.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I just want to share, Diane and I really are just learning each other.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_03: I connected with her first in April at the Making of Me event.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_03: I've met a ton of people there, but her specifically there, and it was a brief interaction.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_03: We've texted a little bit and then we had a little bit of a conversation before we got on air here.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I just want to say I think the word that describes you is gentle.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: That is the word that I think of when I think of you.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_03: And to me, that really matters because I can be very abrasive and bold and direct, and I need gentle people in my life.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_03: So, first of all, I'm looking forward to that, and I'm looking forward to just experiencing you in a totally different capacity.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_03: So thank you for being a part of this.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I've had the ability to get to know you through listening to your podcasts.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: So I cheated.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's not cheating if it's out there already.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: You're not cheating.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: True, true.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_03: You just did your homework.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's true.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you for listening.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm very honored by that.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_04: What I I wanted Oh, go ahead, Liz.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_04: Go ahead.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_04: I just was gonna say what I think is really cool that's just apparent to me in this moment as the three of us are sitting here virtually but on camera together, is is the really complimentary energy.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_04: And that's coming through to me.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_04: And so I know that when we come together and in the retreat space, it's it's gonna be really great because we each obviously everybody has different energy, but in terms of the three of us, I think I think it's really complimentary and and it's going to be very palpable.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_04: In addition to the the property, the house itself that we're gonna be staying in that has incredible healing energy.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_04: I've talked about it before.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_04: And so I can't wait for for you both to to step in that door for the first time and feel that yourselves and then see how we all feel together in that space.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_04: That's gonna be really awesome.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: Can't wait.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna talk a little bit about that in a minute here.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_03: I just wanted to bring up what we learned in Idaho and how we realized that.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we knew this from the get-go that the film, the the version of watching it not in person but on screen, would open a lot.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_03: And that weekend really, we realized later we needed something in addition to help the body settle and not just open.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_03: So much opened.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_03: And we were able to integrate and it was such a sacred place.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I think I I want to tie this to capacity, which is one of the five conditions that I talk about.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's this goal isn't to never feel pain because we're going to.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's not to leave ourselves inside of it.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I think the beauty of having you available is allowing people to build their capacity with touch with somebody who gets it.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_03: And I just think I'm I'm getting chills again.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_03: This is happening a lot.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, but I'm just very, very excited.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just very excited about that, adding this little piece.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_03: And so, Liz, when we think about the four ends, notice, name, nurture, and next step, where does the body work as you know it live in that?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_04: I think that's both a nurture and a next step, right?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_04: Because touch in and of itself is nurturing.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_04: And we know from somatic practice that butterfly hugs in particular, that's a that's a way for, especially for people who don't feel safe with touch to build capacity for feeling safe with touch by doing it for themselves, right?
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_04: First.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_04: And maybe that's the nurture, is the is the self, right?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_04: The self-touch, the self-soothing through that that practice over time.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_04: And then the next step is trusting another person like Diane to do that work with with and for them.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_03: That's beautiful.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_03: I love how you put that.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm just gonna repeat this because I like it that Liz brings the words, I bring the sensing, if you will, the sensation, and Diane brings the settling.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_03: I think those three fit together well.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: How would you guys say that they're going to integrate with each other over the weekend?
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_03: How how would you describe that?
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_04: I think that's the that's exactly the intention for this weekend, right?
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_04: What we're building is for all of our individual practices to to talk to one another, to integrate and to and to create a synergistic experience.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: And then layer upon layer of healing is how I'm envisioning it as they build it.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_04: I'm thinking so we start with the film, right?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_04: And obviously the film is a very sensory experience in that the show itself is exactly me putting language to all of the things I felt my whole life but could never express, right?
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_04: That then anybody watching it, and you and you both have seen it on live and know this, it's also very much what pretty much every other adoptee who has seen it is like, oh my God, you just said all the things that I never had language for in my whole life, right?
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_04: So there's a lot of feeling that a lot of sensation that will come up in that experience, right?
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_04: And then that's intentional, right?
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_04: We have to be a little cliche here, but we gotta feel it to heal it.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_04: And so when we start to feel things, instead of wanting to escape from it, we if we sit with the sensation and we start to attach language to it, which is what I help with, and then we allow the sensation to move through us and we work with our energy or do the body work or the energy work with Diane, then we're giving it a place to go.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_04: So we talk about so we have this image that Diane has given us of the river, right?
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_04: We're starting and then we're flowing through each of these practices throughout the weekend, and they're they're working in complement to one another, right?
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_04: They're not existing in separate, separate spaces, which is which is why we've designed it this way, right?
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_04: Which is why we're we're doing this as an in-person shared experience with all three of these modalities so that people have the experience of braiding the three strands together, if you will.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and there I'm looking honestly for our logo, and there was a re sorry, so if if y'all were watching the screen and wondering why I was looking at my phone, even though you can't see my phone, it's because I wanted to look at the logo.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know if you're you may have paid attention to this, Diane.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_03: But there's mountains, there's a river going through those mountains, and then there's the butterfly at the top.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_03: We combined Liz and my logos, but what's beautiful about that is there you are in the midst of that.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_03: The river is right there flowing.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_03: I just think that's amazing.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_03: And there again is the synergy that we didn't even know existed.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_03: So pretty, pretty cool.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_03: My goodness.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so for many adopted people, our earliest experience of touch, which we've already talked about this, okay, touch in general is tangled with separation.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's a fragmentation that happens within us that makes touch seem unsafe.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm curious, Diane, what do you notice or hold space for when an adoptee gets on your table?
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_02: Again, every single person that I work with is different.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_02: So there are some adoptees that don't really present anything specific.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: They're happy to just lay down there and just do whatever you need to do to me.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: But the tension can show up in different parts of the body, certainly.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: And that's either palpable when I'm doing the massage.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of it is intuition based.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_02: A lot over the years, it just happens that way.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: I just kind of feel and know when it's time to speed up or slow down.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: But a lot of my work with every single person, whether I know them already or not, repeat customers or not, we do a lot of talking before we get on the table.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_02: Another thing that I may notice is that a lot of times it's shallow breathing.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_02: So we'll we'll start there once we are on the table.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: We'll start with breath and just being aware of the breath and getting a few deep breaths going, and then that will start to improve.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: But the shallow breath is almost ever present.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_02: Again, the the talking it through, sitting down and getting to know each other and discussing.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very clear about every step of a session.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_02: And they're all different.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: And we'll talk through this could happen, then this will happen, then this will happen.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_02: Are you okay with that?
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: What would you like to work on?
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: What would you like your session to look like?
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_02: Again, if we were working with massage therapy, we'll tailor a session specific to the needs of that person if they're holding tension in certain areas.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: If we find something, the areas that are tense that maybe they didn't even realize.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_02: If they're not that comfortable with touch, we don't need to do, we could do Reiki with hands over.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_02: We could sit and chat, we could listen to music and close our eyes and breathe.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_02: I could even have my massage chair if people aren't comfortable laying down on the table.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_02: If we're on the table, there's certain things that are head, neck, and shoulders.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: Hands and feet are wonderful for grounding, just working on your hands and your feet.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: You're fully clothed.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_02: Everything is to their degree of comfort and is very, very much discussed.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_03: I love that so much.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_03: I really do.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_03: You already answered the next question, which was what does consent look like and how does someone stay in charge?
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_03: You just described how that happens and how comforting it is for an adopted person to hear that knowing they're not just going to go in and have to strip down and be naked.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_03: They can, they whatever, whatever feels comfortable for them is what you are willing to do.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_03: And that's a an absolutely beautiful thing.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_03: And you mentioned Reiki and how you can just do hands over.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_03: Those were the words that you used.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: So, what is Reiki in plain language for my audience and viewers and listeners?
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_03: What is it in plain language?
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_03: And what might they feel or not feel?
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_03: Or maybe they feel nothing.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just curious.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, could you describe it for us?
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: So Reiki is it's a traditionally Japanese healing modality.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: I've done Reiki training at four different places, a couple hospitals.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: I worked with uh a Reiki master that is from Japan.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_02: I met her in a class.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_02: This I just took this from her recently, actually.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: She was only in the class here in the States because she was curious to know how it is different from the way that they teach it here.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and for her, the the biggest difference is that in Japan, they teach it as a way of life.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: So it's a way to understand that we are all energy, whether whatever you want to call that, you could call that God, you could call that the universe, you could call that Mother Earth.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: I like to call it all of those things.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's a way to tune into that energy.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_02: You, when you receive Reiki training, you receive attunements.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_02: So it's sort of a way to open up your channels.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: We think of it like plumbing.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_02: We've all got them.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_02: We've all got, again, the innate ability for our body to heal itself.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_02: The more open those channels are, the more that energy is flowing freely, the better, the more we can heal ourselves.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_02: So the Reiki practitioner is not a healer per se.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: They're a conduit in a way.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_02: Just a way to help that energy flow from source, from above, below, universe, God, wherever, whatever you'd like to call that, and able to help that flow into the person and it goes where it needs to go.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_02: So there are a series of hand positions.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I use those specific positions in a row.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I just am guided to certain areas.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_02: Clients feel different things.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: Some people feel feel warmth in the area that I'm working, whether or not my hands are on them.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes they use light touch if that's not preferred.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_02: I use my hands over.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_02: They can feel a tingling sensation.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: But what most people feel, and what I personally experience the most, is you feel a sense of comfort.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: You feel held, you feel cared for and very relaxed.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of people fall asleep, but then they say, I wasn't really sleeping, but I might have been snoring.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_02: You walk away, and this is for me, every person I've ever worked with has experienced at least that level of just comfort and relaxation.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: Some people see things, colors or different visualizations, but it's always very peaceful.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_02: I've never had an experience where someone didn't enjoy it and come out feeling better than they came in.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's good to hear.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_03: And then I know that sometimes, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, that emotions come can come up depending upon the work that you're doing, even in massage.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_03: I know that that can happen depending upon the part of the body that you're working on.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_03: So what do you do?
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_03: And what can the person do to prepare for that when and if that happens?
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think even maybe even more so in this setting when we are working deeply in in different areas too, and it's very intentional, the reason why we're there as the participants and and us as well.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: So that could be even more likely to happen.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: I think just with the to come with the understanding that that is completely normal.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_02: I don't really like that word, but it's completely expected.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I really just I slow down, I use intuition, I hold space, I offer them a break.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_02: I ask them, is this do you need a break?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_02: Is this something would you like me to continue?
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_02: Would we like to do something different?
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's just again, and it's not a script that goes with every person.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: It's just different.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um depending on Yeah, depending on exactly and what's coming up and and how we work together.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_02: And just we're already in that space where they feel comfortable.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_02: Otherwise, we wouldn't get to that point.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_02: So making sure they just know that they're they're seen, they're not alone, and have whatever they need is what I'm going to do for them.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_02: And with that.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Diane, for that.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_03: So I just want to follow up uh something I said and in our last episode, I said this retreat is about bodily autonomy.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's nobody is going to be put on Diane's table or in a chair or in a session that they actually did not choose.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_03: We are giving you the, I mean, we're not making you do anything.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_03: That's the beauty of this retreat.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's you get the freedom to choose.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_03: And so, so Liz, I actually, you are the one who secured the red poppy.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: So would you be able to walk listeners through that whole one-on-one choice idea, the the private session, the picking narrative with you, picking somatic with me, or bodywork with Diane.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_03: How is that going to work?
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_04: So, yeah, so that'll work uh really nicely, I think, because there's a uh massage room in the red poppy.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_04: It's really cool.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_04: It has a moon window in the, very cool.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_04: And so there's a private space for that.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_04: And there are lots of cozy nooks, corners, and and spots for for us to hold our individual sessions in with folks, and plenty of space for the people who are just being in community or relaxing or resting to be doing other things.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_04: Because there are several different there are multiple living rooms and several different spaces, and there's upstairs and downstairs, and there's a indoor heated pool and hot tub, and so plenty of places for for people to be in between the workshops and the sessions.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_04: But the intention behind the the choice of the one-on-one was that we you and I really thought a lot about what this retreat is and isn't.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_04: And because it's so important to have a truly intentional healing space for adoptees to come to, be seen, heard, and understood on multiple levels, right?
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_04: That we were also including the opportunity to experience the work of their choice one-on-one.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_04: So that we have these group experiences.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody's gonna get the group workshops, the group narrative workshops with me and the group somatic workshops with you, right?
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_04: And then a shared experience, just so Diane can introduce the work to people.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_04: And then from that, what is the thing I'm curious about?
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_04: What is the thing that might support me most for wherever I am in my healing journey, right?
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_04: And for some people, it's gonna be either one of us, right?
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_03: And for some people, it could be both.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_03: It just depends on what they are actually feeling comfortable with.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the beauty, I think, of this is again, they get to choose.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_03: So I just want to highlight for listeners and viewers when the sessions will happen and the why behind it.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_03: So Saturday afternoon is open for that, Sunday morning is open for that.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_03: And it's all alongside, like Liz just talked about, the pool, the hot tub, rest, journaling.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_03: You don't even have to do one-on-one sessions if you don't want to.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_03: And why there are none, no one-on-ones on Friday, is because that's before the film.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_03: And there's really nothing yet to integrate.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, my goodness, yes, we're adopted people.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_03: We have a lot we could talk about, but the whole purpose of getting there is we intentionally did this is to stir up a little so that we can help you move through it in a safe environment.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_03: And so nobody is going to be asked to, like I said earlier, get on a table with somebody that they are just meeting before they've actually found their room.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_03: We're we're actually considering this.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_03: Diane is going to be with Liz and I at arrival so people can meet her first and get to know her.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_03: And so, Diane, what would you want someone to know as they decide between even these sessions?
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_03: What would you want them to know about you.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_02: I am a very calming as you picked up on right away with the gentle.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's funny.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_02: I was looking at my notes when you said that because I just in journaling and things it was a word that came up today was gentle, of course.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_02: Of course it did.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I've always been told that and I and I know that and I'm very grateful for that.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm able to help people feel calm, feel cared for, feel connected.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_02: On whether or not they want to do a massage or do Reiki, that would be great if you do.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think it would be beneficial, it'd be helpful, help you integrate things.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just looking forward to connecting with people and meeting everyone and working together.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um doing some of my own work while I'm there.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah we all do.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone does their own work.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's beautiful.
• 44:53
  unknown: Yeah.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I also have along with the gentleness and I I have a lot of training.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_02: I know what I'm doing.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I look forward to being able to share that with more people more adopted people.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 45:05
  unknown: Yeah.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_03: Well thank you for sharing your gifts.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm curious what your own practice for coming home to your body is like is there a consistent thing that you do on a daily basis that you'd like to share?
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_02: With my morning routine, my morning breath work, setting intentions, I journal and I work with Liz and I get massages and Reiki and I noticed this in the last year.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_02: I use that time intentionally when I when I get on the table to process and it and it it works.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm here to tell you from experience that I think that it has not that it's a race.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's not a race but I think that having the body work and the energy work at the same time as I'm going through this process with Liz has helped me do that more effectively.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_03: I agree.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_02: And more again I don't want to use the word quickly because that's not the point.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_03: But I do feel that I'm not going to in a way speed up the process.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_03: I I hear you it does it speeds it up a little bit.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_03: The minute I understood the body, the head I'd been doing for freaking 20 years.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_03: And then the minute that I did the body work, it I don't know how to describe it.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_03: I I don't I didn't mean to interrupt you, but I just wanted to say it's hard to find the word.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_03: It is a little bit more speedy.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I know that Liz wanted to say something too so let's let's make sure finish what you were saying, Diane, but I just had to say yes, I get it.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_02: It certainly has helped me progress a little bit more quickly for sure.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I could feel that and I know it when it's happening and I know it when I get off the table.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_02: It just makes the whole process feel better feel more peaceful and more integrated.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_04: Totally love that go ahead Liz yeah well all of this I talk about this all the time in in my work and the work that I do with folks right is about it's about presence and connection right and I say more stories equal more connection and more connection equals more healing.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_04: And we as we all know our bodies hold so many stories and our bodies hold that original story.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_04: And for so much of my life and I know for many other adopted people this is true too there's a disconnect between my body there's a body my body for me I did not feel safe in my body I did not know what was going on in my body my body was bracing all of the time and so having the ability to do the integrative and supportive work that is bod and these kinds of practices that allow us to be in our bodies in safe and supportive ways allows us to develop the capacity to be present.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_04: And when we are present we can connect with ourselves and we can connect with other people right and and that's what this this whole retreat is about is about being present so that we can be more connected to ourselves first and then all of the other people in our lives.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah definitely so love all of that this is a lighter question.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_03: I'm curious what each of you is most looking forward to at the red poppy I think I know what Liz is looking forward to but go ahead Liz Well I'm a water person so I am very excited about having access to the the hot tub and and pool.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_04: Water is my one of my healing and and body practices I go to aqua fitness a couple times a week and I go to float therapy a couple times a month if I can um depending on my schedule and that for me is and water is a really helpful thing for the nervous system because it acts like a compression sleeve on the body.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_04: And so it's another type of of gentle bodn require a lot.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm actually really excited about that.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_04: But the other thing I'm really excited about is just being able to spend three days with the two of you and with everyone else who's joining us and to hug people and to hang out in our pajamas and and just be together.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah totally love it.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_03: How about you Diane?
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm excited to be in this space because again I've only been around a lot of besides the adoptees that I meet in the wild as I like to say yeah I've only been to the AtMom convention and so this will be the first time I'm around a larger group or it's still a small group though.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's intimate yeah so the conferences are a little overwhelming.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_02: Awesome but I was definitely a little overwhelmed.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_02: This will be a more intimate setting smaller group so I'm excited to meet other people and get to know their stories and I love working on people and doing body work and energy work.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_02: So it's very healing for me as well.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm really looking forward to that yeah I love that all the above I'm excited about but I think the biggest thing that I'm excited about is nature is being in a place that I know is beautiful from what Liz has told me and then nourishment.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_03: I cannot wait to see what we're going to be eating while we're there because it's included.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm very very excited about that.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_02: Food is always one of my most favorite things about any trip away from home.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yes I have there on the list and I have to say the one of the beautiful things about this this space and and the center is that Lynn who's the owner of the red poppy she's a retired nurse and she and her staff are incredible and take care of people like their family and they cook amazing delicious organic food that attends to all the dietary needs of whomever at these retreats.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_04: So it's it's home cooked food that is is meant to be nourishing.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_04: And so when we talk about having this healing and nourishing experience right this these are the ways that we nurture ourselves through good food through good company through conversations and connections and rest.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_04: The other thing too is we've intentionally planned this at the beginning of December right after Thanksgiving Thanksgiving and right before all of the the winter holidays to give us a a chance to really pause and slow down.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_04: Because those times of year right the holiday season can be very disruptive for a lot of people particularly adopted people we have complicated relationships with the holidays with family with trying to figure out all the things and so giving ourselves the gift of pausing and resting is really really important.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah I very much agree so with that what is in the vein of what you usually do but I don't want to give much away we're only going to say one word but what is one word for how you're feeling about December?
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_03: Okay I'm gonna go yeah all of us I'm excited too my my word was gonna be peaceful.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_02: I just feel I feel that is what it's gonna be all about awesome my the word that came to me immediately was hopeful.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_03: Look at that that even is our energy it's so funny excited peaceful and hopeful I just love it.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_03: I this is gonna be so great.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_03: Okay I love it.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_03: Okay so a couple of last questions before we close out Diane what would you say to someone who wants this but feels nervous about the bodywork or about being in a room full of adoptees or about what we're doing in general I ask Liz this every time ask her again but I want to know what what would you say to someone who's on the fence?
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_02: Well I like to use the mantra of let it be easy sometimes we have a tendency if we're nervous about something to think it think it and think it and think it and think it and almost think our way out of it.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah that's what I would say is let it be easy and understand that it's certainly a a safe environment.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah let it be easy I love it thank you so much and Liz we've heard from you twice about this same question so I'm going to ask you to give us one word for the person who is on the fence I need more than one word.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_03: Okay I need three words okay invest in yourself amen sister yes it's so good you guys it's so good at this point we have four registered we have a fifth person that is hoping to be able to come and we have 14 spots so we've got nine left I just want to let you guys know and Diane thank you so much for saying yes to this really really appreciate that and for bringing 20 years of care and your own lived experience into this room and I know everyone who comes in December will feel it too.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_03: And so here are the practicals that I want to share with everybody.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_03: Friday is when it starts December 4th through Sunday December 6th you are going to be at this beautiful location we've already talked about the Red Poppy Center for Renewal in Highland, Michigan.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's about an hour from the airport just so you guys know the Detroit airport what's included is everything but travel two nights on site every meal from Friday dinner through Sunday lunch which the last time we talked about that, we didn't know that was going to happen, but it is we're gonna have Sunday lunch as well the film screening all the somatic and narrative workshops your one-on-one sessions with us the pool the hot tub and a post-retreat integration workbook that you will be able to carry home.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_03: I will also have a flyer for you that goes with everything that I talked about and I already talked about how many were going to be able to come there's going to be two intimate circles of seven and when those spaces are gone they're gone.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_03: And again we've said this before men are definitely invited the space is limited.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're feeling the pull please don't wait and you can reserve your place with the deposit and pay the balance and installments or you can pay in full and all of that information will be in the show notes.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_03: We also do have funded seats so what that means is if you'd love to pay it forward and help make a seat possible for somebody who couldn't otherwise come then just reach out to us.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_03: We are more than happy to honor that.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_03: And everything you need is going to be at the links in the show notes that I include along with how to find Diane at Rooted River Wellness.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_03: If something stirred in your body today, whether that's a poll, a hesitation or could I really do this, that's worth being curious about DM me or Liz, or even schedule a conversation with either of us or find Diane, I'm gonna put her information in there you can message her too.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_03: We would love to talk with you about whether this retreat is right for where you are.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_03: Quite honestly it's right for anybody at any place in their healing journey.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_03: So as always if this podcast meant something to you a five-star review or a few written words that help this work reach more adoptees and the people who love them remember in all of this you aren't alone and stop outsourcing your belonging and begin to insource it y'all and Liz, Diane, we will see you in December.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you guys so much for being here thank you.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you and have we both yep love you you guys are amazing and have a wonderful Thursday and we'll talk to you next week