Latest / I Am Wiser Podcast with Dr. Laura Purdy / You've Always Been Okay

Transcript

You've Always Been Okay · I Am Wiser Podcast with Dr. Laura Purdy

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I I respect that that's how I thought of it at the time.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you're a teenage, you don't know any better, right?
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: No one could have prepared me to be in the position that I was in when I was younger.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I I look back now and like, I wish I would have taken more advantage of those opportunities as a learning moment in connecting and networking and stuff, but you have to be able to give yourself so much grace for the things you didn't know.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the I Am Wiser Podcast, where the biggest questions in health care and wellness meet the collective wisdom of industry leaders and innovators.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Dr.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Laura Curdy, and here we explore the intersections of AI, care delivery, telehealth policy, and more.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Through the lens of those who are reshaping healthcare.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: This is not just about theory, it's about lived experience and real industry insight.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Let's dive in and get wiser together.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to today's episode of the i Flyer Podcast with Dr.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Laura Curdy, where we explore the moments of breakthrough, resilience, and reinvention that shape the way we live, to leave, and care.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Today I'm honored and thrilled to welcome Riley James, sports writer, storyteller, and host of the If Anyone Cares podcast.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Riley has learned that the more he listens, really listens, the more he discovers about himself and the world.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: He believes that wisdom isn't found in trying to sound smart, but in staying genuinely curious.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Today he shares how asking other people questions helped him figure out who he is and what he's meant to do.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Riley! Welcome to my show!
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy to be here.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for welcoming me to this podcast.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Since you and I have last spoken, uh you've learned so many words and you have broken into this wonderful world of internet content, and I couldn't be prouder of you.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, so Brian, you were, I would say, the first person in, can I say the industry?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: In the media?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, you can say it.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna stop you.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: Is that the word to use?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: You were the first person in the industry, right?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: I was on your podcast, what did we say, August 2022, and that was about four months after I started doing podcasts.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: I started in the summer of 2022, I believe, and maybe earlier in the year.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: But I've been on your show three times, and it's really interesting because you are a sports person, and I'm a healthcare person, but yet it's worked really well.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that interesting?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I I think the wonderful part about the space and you know, this quote unquote industry is it doesn't really matter the backgrounds, as long as you are willing to put in the work to get to know somebody, especially in a medium like this, where you know all you have is is talking, and all you have is time to be able to get to know each other and talk about things going on and talk about uh similar interests, you can get to know anybody.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm thankful you made time for our show in the middle of finding out that we really had nothing in common, and now we have so many things in common.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: But we did, right?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: We did have a lot in common.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so I've said this before, this is actually not healthcare podcasts, this is business podcast.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: And we talk about wisdom and the wisdom that we've learned in our journey, the wisdom of the years, and to inspire and encourage the people that are watching or listening.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you're a you're a businessman, right?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: More or less, yeah.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I I I did intend to start out that way.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: I guess much like you didn't.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um you kind of fall into it, and you I I I have developed the idea that I am the product I am trying to sell to people, and you kind of cultivate who that is and what that is, and I I've been able to learn a lot about not only you know myself on camera, but you know, how I interact and deal with people off camera too.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: So, for the people that are listening and now they're like, oh really, she was on the show.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: What was that?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: What were they talking about in 2022?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: What is your business?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: What are you in the business of?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: What do you do?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's a that's a fun question I have to explain to uh people over the age of 50 when they ask me.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what would you say you do here?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I I am in the business of telling stories that I I think are worth being told, right?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I've worked in journalism for this is bordering up on nine years from when I started.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I started when I was a junior in high school as a full-time journalist.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: And um very much lied about my age when I first started.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but I I found my way into working these events.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: I I had no business working at 16 years old.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And telling stories that I thought were interesting, and then over the course of time, where I I I graduate high school, I go on to full-sale university, and I I work more in a journalism path there.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: What is the the most efficient way, but the best way to tell a story that's that demands to be told in a different way than everyone else is telling it.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I I've really tried to make a career off my own perspective on stories, but also keeping myself removed from the narrative.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's a fine line, it is a delicate balance of being involved in the story versus telling the story without you being involved in it.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um being involved but not getting involved.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is a certain element of like you have to be ingrained in what you're talking about to know what you're talking about.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: You and I I I hate the notion of journalists saying, Oh, I'm completely removed from the story, then you're not really doing your job, right?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: To be able to understand a story is to have someone tell it to you and you refine it together and what to bring it and what kind of story you want to bring to other people, you know, and that's that's your role as a professional journalist is to be able to filter it down, make it consumable for somebody else, and then share it on their platform.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I I I want to I want to be able to make sure that yes, the the content and the in the heart of the story is there, but ultimately it it does need a little work because a lot of human stories are rough around the edges because people are rough around the edges.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, no one's perfect, and I think there's no perfect story, and uh you need storytellers to be able to share that.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I that that's really my business, and I've done a tremendous amount of work in in soccer over the course of my career.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've done the NFL, college football, all these things, but I've done human stories, you know.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: You you talk about the show not being a medical podcast.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: If anyone cares, it's not a sports podcast in any sense.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: I had athletes on, but I also had fellow journalists, musicians, doctors, scholars.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Soccer.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: I've had so many people on that show, and and you know, we are on hiatus at the moment, which is unfortunate, but like, you know, once I bring that back, I want to be able to to continue that line, but with a revamp style.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I I I really just want to be able to share stories that are worth being told.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess that is my business.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and you know, I've I feel like I've done a I haven't gotten fired yet, which is good.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm nine years in and that's still I'm still making money.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, you gotta love that, right?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: But what I'm hearing from you is you are a professional journalist.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you might be podcasting, sure, you might be making internet content or whatever.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: You might be going to soccer shows and or freelance writing and reaching that too.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: But you're a professional journalist, which does in fact say you'll partner with a lot of people in this industry because a lot of people who do what we're doing right now are not professional journalists.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they are recreational or they've come into it as a hobby or they're doing as everyone else is doing it, but you've had a pretty extensive formal kind of training, education, experience, and very real, real world in the real world, with real games and real sports and real people at real events, and not just doing it from behind the camera.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I think I think what I've learned through that is I spent so much time when I was younger, I had so much energy when I was going to these things, 16, 17, 18 years old, going to these games, and I spent so much time talking.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I spent so much time ideating about the thing I thought that that I was.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Which, you know, I I respect that that's how I thought at the at the time.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you're a teenager, you don't know any better, right?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: No one could have prepared me to be in the position that I was in when I was younger.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I I look back now, I'm like, I wish I would have taken more advantage of those opportunities as a learning moment and connecting and networking and stuff, but you have to be able to give yourself so much of grace for the things you didn't know.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I I think about my informal training that you talked about, uh, that led to formal training in college.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I'm I'm grateful for both sets because it's prepared me in a way to roll my sleeves up and get kind of dirty in it, because there's a lot of things, especially working in soccer in the United States, you you have to be able to do yourself because you don't have the luxury of what the NFL people have or the NBA people or Major League Baseball.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to you have to be able to have those grassroots approach and do it yourself.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: But then the formal training comes in where my product is as good, if not better, than a lot of other people who do football and baseball and basketball and these popularized American sports.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I I do those sports as well, so I have familiarity with those guys and they do great work.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: But bringing that to a underprivileged sport like soccer in the United States, it's helped out so much.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I I really I try not to talk too much, and I I learn so much from from my own experiences and hearing other people's experience and try not to ideate you know all of my own thoughts in my head because I am never more dumb in what I think of myself or or the industry.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's that's great.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna take two steps backwards because I heard a piece of wisdom in there, and this is the I am wise podcast, and you spread our wisdom to the world.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I heard one.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: I heard one.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was you said you have to learn to get his upgrade for the things that you didn't know when you were younger.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I can really relate to that because especially in the last five years, I've come across things I didn't know, and I didn't know that I didn't know.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of things that have happened to me because of me not knowing what I didn't know.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: We've had extortions and blackmails and bribery and theft and identity theft, and um, you know, I've been the victim of several crimes, and there's been a lot of loss and a lot of uh people who locked out of my life because I didn't know how to protect them right from what was going on in my life.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so I want to hear more about that.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: How did you learn how to have more grace?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: How did you learn the wisdom of having more grace with your younger self for not knowing what you didn't know?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: I I looked at the things that I did in the way that I the ways that I went about, the stories that I told or working with people.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I spent four years driving from Lake Charles, Louisiana to Houston, Texas every single time that we play a home game to go cover that team, you know, and and two years as a national reporter in Major League Soccer.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: And like, and I I think about that time and I think about all the wasted opportunity that I I lost because I I was an arrogant jerk.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I I I I determined, like really last year, I'm like, why was I that way?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is there is a there's a deep-rooted issue there that you can be mad at yourself and you could hate that how you acted, but if you don't get to the root of the issue, then that's always going to be a possibility it when I get more success, right?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's always more success to get.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: So why why did I act that way at a very early age?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's because no one prepares you for what is going to happen to you.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: When I was doing but literally my first game ever in my life was a nationally televised game on Fox on Fox, like Homer Simpson Fox.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like the Fox that you have in your house right now without YouTube TV or direct TV.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like it is on the on the antenna.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um that was my first ever game.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: I I covered that game and I I talked to some of the biggest stars in the history of the sports, right, who played for Orlando City.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: I no one can prepare a 16-year-old kid who is being catered to and treated like you know an adult.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's like not how it works, and that's not how the world works.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: So when I did the next game, there was a playoff game.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: My next game after that was one step away from the from the championship game.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then you go into the next full year, I get the full-time job, I'm there every single week.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was a bit arrogant because I had every reason to be arrogant because everyone was catering to me.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: So that's not the right way to go about life, but I give myself so much grace and so much forgiveness for acting that way.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I've I've called people and I've asked them to forgive me, and that's really up to them whether they do that or not.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's not up to me.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: I did my part.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: But I had to sit down and forgive myself for being an arrogant prick, but I also understand why I'm an arrogant prick.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And um I see those moments happen now where like, oh, I have a bit of success.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: I now have the perspective of like, hey, you're not as important as you think you are, and you're not nearly as good as they tell you that you are.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: You're probably somewhere in the middle between what the worst person thinks about you and what the best person thinks about you.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that's I learned that at 16.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't I didn't apply it until 22.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: A great woman named Elika Sadehi told me that.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: She was working for ESB and she came on my show when I was 17 years old and and dropped that on me, and I didn't really get to use it until I was I was post-college.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I I thank her for that, and you know, I I've thanked her since.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: So really you I I wanted to understand more about that path and and that time in my life, because when you're when you're 16 or 17 or 18, even the the first couple years after that, when you're in college, you don't really look at why the why you did the things that you did.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you you did them and you either benefited or you or you had consequences for those.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: But now that I'm older, I'm 25.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: I just turned 25, you know, six weeks ago.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: And congratulations.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I made it.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: I made it to I made it to a century.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh quarter quarter of a century.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I can rent a car, that's right.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: I had so much as that's a story for a different time, but I had so many issues renting a car because I was 24 going to Tampa and I couldn't get a car.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was so angry, so I had to drive there.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um but yeah, it it truly is a spectacular, uh spectacular moment when you have the opportunity to sit back, look at your own life, go back to the points that that you think about so often and say, hey, that's you're okay.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything you've always done, every every place you've always been, every situation you've always been, you've really always been okay.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I think that's true for so many people.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's true for really anyone, is you can look at someone like you've always been okay.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you could probably bring this someone to their knees.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can go around the grocery store and look at that person in the eyes like you've always been okay.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I take that to heart, and I I believe that in my own life now, and I believe that uh going forward as well, and I think that's why I I I've done my best work of my career this year, is knowing that I am not who I am at 18 or 20 or 22, I'm who I am right now, and I'm sure when I'm 30 I'll look back at 25 and I'll forgive myself for the things I don't know right now.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's really my goal going forward is always be gracious.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't want to I don't want to excuse the bad things that I've done, and I don't think that's you know a a way out of that.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, like if you've done bad things and and I've made mistakes, I've suffered the consequences of those mistakes, and I've made sure not to do those things again, but why did I make those mistakes?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's really what I've been in search for, and that's what I've been able to find.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: But I but I love what you're saying here, right?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: No matter who you are, no matter what you've done, you're okay.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Especially if you're someone who's growing, right?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: We we can't grow unless we have something to grow from.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: And if we're always doing everything right, we're always doing everything perfect, and there's nobody.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Where do you have to grow from?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: And self-forgiveness is huge.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Self-forgiveness is huge, right?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: If you can't forgive yourself, how can you grow?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: How can you move on?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: And how can anyone else ever forgive you either?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: If you can't forgive yourself, that's beautiful, that's wisdom.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: You're dropping all kinds of wisdom today.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Not bad for some some uh sports journalist.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, not bad for a sports journalist and a doctor, right?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well let's shift a little bit.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you have done a lot over the last few years, right?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: You've worked for lots of people, you cover lots of sports, you've done lots of sports things with the we'll go back to how I sounded two, three years ago.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: Sports.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: You do the sports thing, I do the sports, I do the sports balls, all the all the balls.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: All the sports balls, you have the sports.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: You talk about your personal growth.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about professional growth.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: You are an entrepreneur like me, you're an accidental entrepreneur, and there's a lot, whoopsie! I guess I'm my own boss now.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yay, what do I do with that?
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot that goes into it.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you talk, think about things like finance, sales, marketing, structure, operations, people, because we all operate with people.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: We can't operate the background technology.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: How have you grown wiser as a businessman, as an as an accidental entrepreneur in the last few years?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think the biggest thing for me is accessing value and understanding what I'm worth, what my show is worth, what my production is worth, and how we can bring that to the right price and to the right people, right?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because I've worked.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you a small antidote about my first job after college, my first like legit thought I was gonna make it job out of college.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I I worked for this this guy based in um college station, Texas, and they wanted to start a a regional sports network and to be able to cover a lot of different things on that network.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to say the name or anything because I it's not important, but names don't matter to the story.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so they they made me this promise.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: They over what I think at the time they overpaid me just an exorbitant amount of money, and they set me up, and we had 20,000, 30,000 views an episode every time we went and did something.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was it was fantastic.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: We got to go to a couple different places around this country and go film some stuff, and it was it was wonderful.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: But it wasn't the right fit.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And when we talk about value a lot of time, you know, and you know this as a as a businesswoman, we we put a monetary figure on that, and I I don't think that's entirely the the definition of value.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Am I going to be valued as a person who can make things happen here?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And at that place I just wasn't, right?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was following a script, I was doing this cookie cutter show that they wanted me to do.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was not interviewing people I I I thought was was worthy of a story being told.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: No, they all were fantastic and they told great stories, but it w it wasn't what I was signing up for at the initi at the initial point.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think, you know, me realizing that about halfway through, I we kind of pumped the brakes a little bit.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I did I started to do things I wanted to do, and once I made that move, and once I've kind of took creative control of the show, oops, you know, got laid off, right?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, they they can they can they can cite budgetary stuff and that's all fine, and they ended up going out of business anyways.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um which you know part of that was probably true, but I'm sure they probably pulled the trigger maybe sooner than they they had to with me.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I I learned very, very early, right out of college.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: That was September of 21, I was doing that, right?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it was before I met you.
• 20:17
  unknown: Yeah.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I got I got the I got released or cut or laid off or whatever the term you want to use in in March of 22.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I I had a six-month run.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I made a lot of money and it was really nice, but ultimately it wasn't the right fit.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And what was my value?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: My value wasn't to them, and my value wasn't certainly tied up into the money I was making.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I I wandered in the wilderness essentially for for a while, and then we did the World Cup in 22, you know, the the Qatari World Cup.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: I did that, you know, didn't sleep hardly at all for a month, um, trying to figure out how to adjust the time zones.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I I found out they're like, oh, here's another person, right?
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Opportunity to make some money and do all the stuff.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it again, it just wasn't the fit.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't support me the way that I wanted to, and they didn't they didn't have me as valued as a person as they did as the production, the show, and all that stuff, and they eventually those two things have to be even or one's gonna pull the other one down.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I I didn't feel valued there.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Fast forward 23, did the World Cup for Goles TV, felt valued, they pushed the stuff, they supported me, anything I needed, they bought brand new equipment for the studio.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that that was a that was a point in time, like, hey, I I would love to be able to work with you guys.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I say work with, and I think the verb's just very important.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: I've never worked for anyone in my adult life, and I think that's really, really I think it's really valuable in a lot of senses because I I want to be able to make sure that I own the content, that I have create um creative control and and completely am at fault, but all Responsible for the success of the things that I make, and I I think that's wildly, wildly important to me.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it's something I found out very early on.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: I used to host this podcast covering Major League Soccer, and this guy started it and wanted to move it forward, and it was his baby.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Hey, do you want to do the show with me?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I would love to.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was 17 years old, I was looking for a way in.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: And we eventually split in 2018 because of creative differences.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: He ran the show how he wanted to, and it didn't fit the way that I was one, informally trained, to that I wanted to portray myself in a in a in a professional sense because it was more like a bar stooly type show.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: It was it was had an edge to it, it was it was kind of raw in a way.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: I I like to keep myself incredibly professional with with a little bit of like human element to it, right?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're all I like to make jokes and I tell jokes on the show, but it's ultimately like it is not about me.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that the the one thing that I learned from all of that is like the show is not about me, but it's an entire it's a reflection of me.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's a reflection of what we try to do if anyone cares.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to be able to protect that as much as I can.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's been my entire mindset going forward.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: From when I left that show to every project I've ever done, is how do I protect we have we have a cloud as our logo?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: How do I protect that cloud?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: And how do I protect the name Riley James?
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's really the two things I got.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've been I spent so much time building my reputation in this business, and we still have a long way to go, still, you know, have a lot more success success to be able to get.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: But ultimately, how do I protect these two things?
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because what what are they?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: All I got.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: And and going forward, that's that's still my mindset.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, we're finishing up year two with Goles TV.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: Already signed up to do year three, and I'm I'm really excited to be able to do that project because it's the it's my most it is the the of all the things I've done, it is the favorite of all the projects I've worked with because I there's so much value in telling these stories.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I I love the content that we get to do because it I feel like I found my place where I fit.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: I am valued as a person, and they obviously value me in a monetary sense that that is reasonable and livable in addition to all the other stuff I got going on, too.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that that's where I kind of found my my place on the business side is it is really important to get paid, right?
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's how we all live, that's how we buy groceries, gas, car, house, all that stuff.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's really, really important, arguably more important, to feel like you are valued as a person.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel incredibly valued as a as a host, as a producer, but as a friend.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's the best you can ask for.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's wonderful.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, that's so beautiful.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm hearing I'm hearing another piece of wisdom in there, which is price is not the same thing as value.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: As a business owner, you've been paid a lot of money for very little value.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: As a business owner, I have spent a lot of money on things that produce no value.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a difference between price and value.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when you talk about splitting up with someone because of creative differences, I was just I was just telling somebody on the way here today, there is no dollar amount in the world that someone could pay me to make me do something that makes me miserable.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the difference between price and value.
• 25:41
  unknown: Yeah.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Digity?
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's fantastic, it really is.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think I think the word I come back to is worth a lot.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because what am I worth?
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: And and I I've I've discovered this in in business too, and I I cover sports and and you know, they pay these guys individual contracts.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like a set amount of money that they get paid like the rest of the world.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: It is a legitimately is a value and a worth type of situation.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: What I've been able to gather from players is you're worth exactly what someone is willing to pay you.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you're you're worth exactly what someone's willing to give you.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I I've learned that the hard way in the past because I've gone in and highballed and tried to get the thing, and they've it's like, alright, hey, why don't you get out of here?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you hit the road?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because we don't need that.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's understanding your value to not you know screw yourself out of a good opportunity, but also don't overestimate yourself because again, it goes back to what I talked about earlier.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're not nearly as good as you think you are, but you're not as bad as someone says you are, you're probably somewhere.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's the reason why I've never negotiated a contract one time in my entire life.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's a huge publicly trade company or it's a small little startup, I've never negotiated a contract.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: When somebody brings it to the table and says, This is what we can afford for chief medical officer, medical director, consultant, advisor block.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: I either say, Okay, great, I can help you for that, or I say, I can.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: But it's never a negotiation, right?
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're bringing that to the table to say, this is the worth, which is not the same thing as the value.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: Which that's so counterintuitive of what they teach you, right?
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: You never accept the first offer.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's interesting that you've you've gone the other way on that.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: I have never once in my entire life negotiated a contract, and maybe that comes from a military background where there is nothing to negotiate, and it doesn't matter where you are and what you do, you're getting paid the same no matter what.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm I am a business owner, I am a self-funded, bootstrapped, not really getting a paycheck from my own business right now, uh, entrepreneur.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: And when I'm on the other side, and I do side fussle and I do do consulting for freelance, and I do do all that stuff with freelance because I'm not taking the paycheck from my business right now.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I know what it feels like to be on the other side of that person with the budget saying, How much can we afford to pay this doctor, you know, to do this thing for us?
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: And and I can really relate to that, and I don't.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: If it doesn't work, then the ends of no, please go find someone else.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't negotiate because I'm not trying to harm anyone by squeezing them.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: No, and that's that's a fantastic way to look at it.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously, you've you've had experience and you've you've grown wiser through your years and not negotiating these contracts, and I think you're doing pretty well, Laura.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing okay.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's going well.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody asked me recently, how do you define success?
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think you're successful?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, there's a lot of people in my industry that don't think I'm successful because I haven't made millions de millions of bajillions of dollars selling a big company, but I'm not going into a hospital every day.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: I made it out of the military without any crazy injuries or severe combat DTSD.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I get to be with my kids every single day, and I'm happy and I'm peaceful and I'm healthy, and that is my definition of success.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: Money is nowhere in my definition of success.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel really sad when I talk to people.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: This has happened before, right?
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: I talk to people and I say, What's your goal?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: How what is your goal when I work with consulting clients?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: What's your goal?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: What's your definition of success?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Where do you want to be?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: And if they provide me with a number, I do not take that client because I cannot help someone whose vision of success is a number.
• 29:29
  unknown: Hand.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a there's a a coach at the University of Mississippi.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: His name's Lane Kiffin.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: And he is the most sought-after coach to be able to take all these big high-profile jobs in college football right now.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: And he his dad was a coach.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: He coached for a lot of different teams.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: He he was he worked with his dad at the University of Southern California.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: And he talked about this very recently.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, money is not a determining factor for my next step, my next year, right?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because all these teams are one outbid each other, tripping over each other to be able to pay this guy what he wants.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't need money.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: He's been a head coach for a long time.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: Head coaches make a tremendous amount of money, and if you don't save your money, and he he for some reason he doesn't have money, that's certainly on him, but it seems like he that he does.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: And he he he made that point.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, where am I going to fit the best?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I was talking about earlier is hearing all these people talk, and that's why I enjoy talking to you so much.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's a there's a very large gap in our backgrounds as far as what you did and what I did, and in even, you know, generationally to an extent, where I talk to a lot of people who are not the same age as me.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I I listened, I I I learned so much about the way that I operate and the way that I view the world from hearing other people talk about the way that they operate and the way that they view the world.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you're in a position where like I you you have a great setup.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: You do get to see your kids all the time, you do something that you love, but you also had off time.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like you have a great setup, so hearing you talk about these different things is is opening my eyes to be able to, what do I want?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: What like whether it's the same or whether it's not, you've achieved what you want to do, so you have a lot of value and a lot of worth in what you're saying.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: So for to have this podcast and be able to talk to people like you know, me, that are either on their way there, already there, been there, done that, I I think it's incredibly great what you're doing.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you know, it goes it goes back to what he was talking about in that press conference.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to go somewhere where I'm valued and where I fit the best, and money does not matter.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly what you're saying, and that's that's kind of what I figured out over the course of my life, even if I couldn't quantify that in words.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: It truly is.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't care.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: I you gotta eat, you gotta live, do all that stuff.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't care if you guys are gonna pay me a couple thousand dollars less.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: I fit better here, and I make great content and great television here.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I it's it's fantastic what you're being what you're being able to say.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, Riley, one final comment for you.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: You're right.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's never enough money, but it's always enough money, is what I tell people.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: When you're thinking about where do I want to go, it's never enough money.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: But if you stop and you take a look at your life and what you have and what you can do with what you have, it is actually always enough money.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: So think about where you want to be.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: Begin at the end of mine, and then work backwards from there.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: Reverse engineer your life, and that will take you to where you want to go.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it it goes back to, I guess, the central point of our conversation is you've always been okay.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: Always.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: Always.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: No matter what you've done, no matter what's happened, you've always been okay, and I think there's a just a tremendous amount of wisdom just in that little nugget.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: Riley, I could talk to you for hours and hours and hours and hours, and that's why we've already done now four shows together, and of course we're gonna schedule more.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: But thank you so much for being here.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: I just really appreciate every opportunity that I get to talk to you.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: Can you brag on yourself real quick and tell people what you're up to and where they can find you today?
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I uh I I if anyone cares, is still around, we still do the thing.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh show the main show is on the hiatus, but the production company is rolling.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: We have a fantastic show in association with the Golf's TV.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's called the United Soccer Lounge.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: We tell stories and we're in the biggest moments in all of USL's content from championship and league one on the men's side.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: We do the Super League, we talk to all the types of great folks that make that league work and make grassroots soccer in America a fantastic place to be, especially with a a brand new era coming in 2027 with promotion relegation and a first division to match it.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um super, super excited to be able to work with Goles TV.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can catch all of my my freelance work that I sell to companies, but I I I leave it available for free on my own uh X account at RallyJames IAC on X.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Bunch of great content on Instagram too.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: Same Instagram at at RallyJames IAC.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um Laura, I'm always happy to do it.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me on the program.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: And um no, I could I could talk to you for hours too, so let's get back and do this again too.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: Do it again.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for tuning in to the I Am Wiser Podcast, where each episode brings us closer to a wiser, more human approach to healthcare.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: If today's conversation inspired you or sparked new ideas, share it with someone who's ready to rethink healthcare.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have a story or innovation that could light the way for others to reach out, we'd love to hear from you.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: This space is yours too.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: Don't forget to follow, rate, and review us on your favorite platform.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, stay curious, stay courageous, and stay wiser.