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High Sex Drive or Porn Addiction? Here's How to Tell · Sex & Porn Addiction Recovery with Russell Beebe

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you addicted to sex or porn, or do you just have a high sex drive?
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: The answer to that has very little to do with how many times a day you do it.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, here are six questions I want you to ask yourself.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you answer yes to two or more, you're probably not dealing with a high sex drive anymore.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're most likely dealing with an addiction.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Question one.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Have you tried to stop and found that you couldn't?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not just talking about having passing thoughts.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: You looked at yourself in the mirror, told yourself no more porn this week, and you meant it when you said it.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Then two or three days later, you're right back at it.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And afterwards you're sitting there thinking, what the hell just happened?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: You run a company, you close million-dollar deals, you can talk yourself into cold showers and 6 a.m.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: workouts, right?
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: But when it comes to this, your own word doesn't seem to mean anything anymore.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I've worked with over 700 struggling clients with this, and I've seen this same pattern over and over again.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Russell, a certified sex addiction therapist and recovery coach.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Helping men break free from porn and sex is what I do every single day.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: I had a client, 47 years old, ran his own business, spent 20 years promising his wife he'd stop, he'd do well for a few weeks, sometimes even a few months, and then he'd be right back at it.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually his wife sat him down.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: She told him she wasn't sure she wanted to be married anymore.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: He told me later that he sat alone in his car afterwards, realizing he was about to lose the most important relationship in his life over something he kept telling himself he had under control.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Here's how I used to explain it.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: A guy with a high sex drive can hit the brakes and the car slows down, right?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: He might not even like it, but it slows.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: A guy struggling with an addiction can spend 20 years stomping on the brake pedal and the car keeps going on.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been hitting that brake pedal and nothing happens, that's a yes for this question.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: But if you can slow yourself down even if it's difficult, you're probably dealing with a high sex drive instead.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Here's another question.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed how much planning goes into this?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Waiting until everybody's asleep, locking doors, listening for footsteps, making sure nobody's home?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the question I want you to think about.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Is this something you've tried to hide?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Five minutes on your phone in the bathroom stall at work, then straight back into a meeting like you were just checking your email, locking the bathroom door at home while your wife is 20 feet away making dinner for the kids?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: If part of you has gotten really good at sneaking, if you've built a routine around not getting caught, that's not just a high sex drive.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's a behavior that's starting to take over.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: A guy with a high sex drive doesn't need a routine like that.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: He's not doing math about who's in the house or how long it's been before somebody walks in.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: He simply wants sex more often with his actual partner at a normal time as normal part of his life.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody builds an escape plan around something that's completely under control.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Question three, has it escalated?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I mean.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you did five years ago, does it still do it for you now?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or have you noticed you need more time going further, looking for something a little more extreme, just to get the same release you used to get much more easily?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's probably not your preferences changing.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's your brain building tolerance.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing that happens with a drug addict.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: The first hit creates a strong response over time, and then you need a little bit more and just a little bit more to get back where you started.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Someone with a high sex drive doesn't usually experience that.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: He simply wants more sex more often, usually with the same partner, and generally the same kind of experience he's always enjoyed.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: He wants more of it, not more extreme versions of it.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, if you've already answered yes to two of these questions, you probably don't need to wait until question six.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's a link below where you can schedule a confidential call with our team.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: We'll help you figure out whether you're dealing with an addiction or not.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And more importantly, what you should do next.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Question four.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Here's something addiction almost always leaves behind.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: A trail of explanations.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was working, I just lost control of time, that was a spam message.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the question.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you lying about it?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: To your wife, to your girlfriend, to your accountability partner, or maybe even to yourself, deleting the browser history before she gets home, clearing tabs, making sure nothing is left open.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Telling you are at work on a call when you were really in the bathroom for 10 minutes, the second you find yourself making up a story about where you were or what you were doing, that's no longer privacy.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's covering your tracks.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things I've noticed, a guy with a high sex drive doesn't usually need a story.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: He may be private about his sex life, that's perfectly normal, but he's not rehearsing explanations before anyone even asked.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's a big difference between privacy and secrecy.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Question five.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Have you been telling yourself this is the last time for a while now?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: I worked with another client, successful career, the kind of guy nobody would ever guess was carrying something like this.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: One night after another relapse, he went back and started reading through years of his journal entries, and he noticed the same exact sentence kept showing up.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: This is the last time.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And over and over and over again he saw this.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: He actually lost track of how many times he'd written it.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's the real question.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: How many times have you acted out?
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: But have you been making the same promises to yourself over and over again, only to find yourself right back where you started?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: A man with a high sex drive doesn't spend years breaking promises to himself, but someone struggling with an addiction does.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually those broken promises stop costing you their confidence and start costing you your marriage, your career, your relationships, and years and years of your life.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the final question.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this one might be most telling of all.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed you weren't even horny, but somehow you still ended up doing it again?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because if this was a simply a high sex drive, being turned on would usually come first.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: But for a lot of men I work with, that's not what happens.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the question.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: When you try to stop, do you become restless, irritable, and discontent?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Short with the people around you?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Not just bored, I mean something feels off, like you're uncomfortable in your own skid, almost like there's a low electrical current running underneath you, which doesn't settle down until you're back doing it again.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: We actually have a name for that feeling.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: We call it RID.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Restless, irritable, and discontent.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things I spent a lot of time teaching my clients is that this feeling is incredibly important to understand, because once you understand it, a lot of your behavior suddenly starts to make sense.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Here's why.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Most men think that they're chasing sex, but in reality, they're chasing relief.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Porn just happens to be the fastest way to make that uncomfortable feeling go away.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's a very different problem, and it requires a very different solution.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is where a lot of men get confused.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: They tell themselves, I just really have a high sex drive.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: But when we slow things down, we often discover they weren't even thinking about sex until they started feeling restless, stressed, lonely, anxious, or even overwhelmed.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Porn wasn't solving sexual desire, it was solving the uncomfortable feelings.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: A guy with a high sex drive usually doesn't experience that.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: He wants sex.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: If he doesn't have it for a while, he may get frustrated, but that's usually where it ends.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Someone struggling with an addiction often feels like he's crawling out of his own skin.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Not because he's desperately needs sex, because he desperately wants relief.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's a very different experience.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the tally.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: So let's add it up.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: One yes, keep an eye on it.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Two or more yeses, you're probably not dealing with a high sex drive anymore.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're most likely dealing with an addiction.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And addictions rarely stay contained.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Over time, they usually spill over into the rest of your life.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: They cost you relationships, they cost you trust, they cost you peace of mind.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they cost you your marriage, sometimes your career.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: The only real question is, do you deal with that before it happens?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you got through all six questions and honestly didn't see yourself in any of them, that's great.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Wanting sex more often than averaging doesn't make you an addict.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean something is wrong with you.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: You may simply have a higher sex drive than others, and that's a very different thing than addiction.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've worked with hundreds of men who answered yes to most of these questions.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Many of them had no idea what was actually happening until someone finally explained it to them in this way.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: If that's you, there's a link below to schedule a confidential call with our team.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: We'll help you understand what's really going on, answer your questions, and we'll help you decide what your next step should be.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: If our program is a good fit, we'll walk you through exactly what it looks like to work together.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if it isn't, we'll point you in the right direction.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Either way, you'll leave with more clarity than you have right now.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, if one of the biggest questions you're asking yourself is, will my wife ever trust me again?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to watch the next video because rebuilding trust is absolutely possible.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: But most men go about it in the wrong way.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: In this video, I'll show you what actually works, so check it out.