Latest / Hot Girl Energy Podcast / 54. what its "actually" like to be in a long term relationship...

Transcript

54. what its "actually" like to be in a long term relationship... · Hot Girl Energy Podcast

0:13
Hi everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Hawk Energy Podcast. I'm
0:17
Zach Kayley's fiance, and this is your reminder that this is the beginning of
0:21
a new week, a good mindset. I don't know. That was so
0:24
good. Oh my god, that's hilarious. Hi guys, welcome back to
0:29
another episode of the Hawkgirl Energy Podcast. I'm yours Kaylee, and this is
0:33
your weekly reminder that it's a new day, a new week, a new
0:38
mindset, and another day for you to become the Hawk Girl energy you want
0:41
to attract. They couldn't even finish my sentence. Oh my god, that
0:44
was such a great way to introduce the episode. That was a very good
0:47
attempt. I will say that was actually really that was on the fly.
0:50
That was like, yeah, that was really good. I think they would
0:53
give you a good rating on that. Anyways, the last part was obviously
0:57
wrong. But welcome back to another episode. Guys. Happy Tuesday. Oh
1:00
no, it's Wednesday, because obviously, as you guys saw my Instagram story,
1:04
I had to upload the episode a day late because my microphone broke literally
1:11
at the end of the last episode, which was so annoying. But Zach
1:17
sayed the day, and I ended up just ordering one through Best Buy just
1:21
so we could have it for tonight because you guys know, I hate not
1:25
having like the episode up on the day that I usually upload it, which
1:27
is on Tuesdays. So anyways, I apologize on that. But if you
1:33
guys didn't know, we are having Zach here on the podcast, as he
1:38
introduced the Hawkgirl Energy Podcast. But welcome Zach, thank you for joining the
1:42
podcast. Yes, this is Zach's second time he joined me in an episode.
1:49
I want to say a few months ago, like I don't even remember,
1:52
and I don't remember what we talked about. I think we talked about
1:53
obviously something within our relationship. Actually, we weren't engaged at the time.
1:59
This was no this was on Valentine's This is a Valentine's Day episode, and
2:02
you knew you were proposing to you did WHOA, that's creepy, that's really
2:13
creepy. Oh my god. So basically the last time Zach was on the
2:16
podcast, we were not engaged. It was literally a love episode about Valentine's
2:23
Day, and Zach proposed to me literally the week after that because we were
2:27
heading to Mexico. And then I talked about the proposal and now that that
2:31
is crazy, I can't believe that. So anyways, he was due to
2:35
get back on the pod. And I always love having like another person on
2:39
the podcast. I just love having guests, so very happy to have you,
2:44
hear, Zach. So we asked you guys a bunch of questions on
2:49
the Hawkgirl Energy and Scramp page. If you guys don't follow that, definitely
2:53
make sure to follow that that way you guys stay updated on obviously delays on
2:58
uploads like today, as well as if we have any guests coming on.
3:00
If you guys want to ask any questions any time about who's coming on the
3:04
podcast, it's definitely important to follow our Instagram page. So we asked you
3:09
guys to ask Zach and I juicy questions, advice, questions about a relationship,
3:16
all that, and we're going to get into it and answer some of
3:20
these questions. Before we even get into this episode, I just want to
3:23
describe our setting right now. We are literally sitting in our bed right now
3:28
with Freddie, and Freddie was so close to the mic that I'm like,
3:32
Zach, we cannot do this like this. Literally he pawed the microphone like
3:38
four times, and I'm like, he is going to make too many interruptions
3:42
within this episode with him snorting in the mic, making weird noises like he
3:47
just wanted to be part of the family, which I totally understand. But
3:51
now he's literally sprawled out at the bottom of our bed, passed out,
3:54
so thankfully he shouldn't make any interruptions. I wish we could spots right now.
4:00
Oh my god, Zach's exhausted right now from work. But actually,
4:03
let's talk about what you do for a living, because I feel like before
4:05
we even get into these questions, because I had a few people asked me
4:09
in my Q and A that I did this week that what you did for
4:11
a living, and I feel like, give us a bit of a background
4:14
about you actually in general, just be like like a minute, like about
4:17
yourself kind of thing, because I feel like everybody knows so much about me,
4:20
and I do talk about you a lot on the podcast, but like,
4:24
yeah, I would talk a little bit about yourself. So, as
4:27
Kayley's mentioned, we're at the same age. I'm eleven days older than she
4:30
is, so she's the younger one in the relationship, you know, she's
4:31
the immature One's she learned everything from me. Okay, so being eleven days
4:38
older than Kayley, that also makes me an aries, which is kind of
4:41
weird because I guess we're supposed to butt heads quite a bit. I think
4:44
we butt heads a little bit. Yeah, we definitely do. But like
4:46
we also balance each other out really well, because yeah, we're both aries.
4:49
But like I don't find that's really impacted us at all. No,
4:53
no, not at all. We're very similar, but we're very different in
4:56
our own ways. Yeah, but like similar in the best way possible.
5:00
But I guess both still have those aries traits. Yes, like Kayley as
5:03
well. It's we got a lot of similarities. But like Kayley as well,
5:08
try to stay fit and active, go to the gym. Probably my
5:15
hopes are going to the gym, playing Beer League hockey, playing Beer League
5:17
softball, and I'm not doing that, or spend time with Kaylee. I'm
5:21
at work and for work, I'm electrician. Yeah. Yeah, And you
5:26
know what, Zach and I also started like living a healthy lifestyle around the
5:30
same time. I felt like like I felt like we were both very active
5:33
in our sports, but we never really took like working out like a big
5:38
part of our life, Like don't get me wrong, we had the odd
5:41
time where we did it worked out, but I wouldn't really say we were
5:43
consistent with the schedule until we both were like, we need to change something
5:46
about our lifestyle. Yeah, it was like it was around the same time.
5:49
It was a couple of years out of high school, like I think
5:51
almost when I started in the trade. Yeah, yes, yeah, like
5:56
twenty years old. We kind of we kind of decided, all something's got
5:59
to change, and we both decide, okay, we're good. And that
6:00
was kind of like when I graduated college. Yeah, I felt like and
6:03
then yeah, we both kind of like went on like meal prepping. We
6:06
didnt remember we used to like meal prepping together like hardcore. We were hard
6:11
core meal preppers. And I definitely miss that a bit. But I mean
6:16
you definitely miss it because it was really beneficial for you for work for lunch.
6:20
I thought I was really unhealthy lunches for work. Now Yeah, well
6:24
no, you have left over dinners sometimes sometimes when I get hungry and Vega
6:29
chips and okay, but that's what happens. It's not like you don't have
6:33
unhealthy. Look, if I like meal prepped, I wouldn't be doing that
6:38
now. Yeah, it's definitely something that we could probably get back into.
6:41
I mean it's more like I think you need to get back into it.
6:44
Like for me, I've mentioned it on the podcast before where I personally just
6:47
don't want to get back into it because I don't like eating the same thing
6:51
every day. Do you remember how much I would struggle with that and then
6:54
we would waste so much food because I was like, I don't want to
6:57
eat this for the third day in a row. And also for me,
6:59
like obviously with my job, I have the flexibility of cooking at home and
7:01
I've now created meals for myself at lunch time that I actually enjoy that are
7:05
healthy and easy to you know, it's such a plain chicken breast. But
7:12
yeah, like I mean, definitely something that you can do if you want
7:15
to get back into it. I don't know if you're can't be because you're
7:16
like, Kyley, can you make me lunch? Is? No, I
7:23
don't, I don't, I don't such does it all himself. But anyways,
7:27
sometimes I'll be like, oh, I got to this. For like,
7:30
when I go to the grocery store, I get specific things for work
7:32
and all that, which I appreciate. Yeah. But yeah, that's a
7:35
quick little bio about Zach. But we're now going to get into your questions
7:41
Before we even get into it. If you guys don't know Zach and E's
7:45
relationship, I'm just going to give a quick little rundown. Zach and I
7:48
have been together for ten years. We have been together since high school.
7:51
That is how we met. And in half next week. Oh my gosh,
7:57
that's crazy. Ten and a half years. Oh my gosh. Wow,
8:01
So ten and a half almost ten and a half, and we are
8:05
recently engaged and planning our wedding currently. So that's just a little background about
8:11
us. But as I said, let's get into these questions because we have
8:16
a lot of questions to answer and we're excited to get into it. All
8:20
right, First question is do you ever argue over dumb things that aren't really
8:26
worth arguing? Yes, yes, every day, probably every day, Like
8:33
our relationship is not multiple times a day. Yeah, No, I think
8:35
this is a very common thing that every couple deals with. That it's just
8:39
if you're not arguing over dumb things. I would say we probably argue for
8:45
like I wouldn't say we argue every day I think that's a bit of a
8:46
stretch. But let's say like once every three days, we have a stupid
8:52
argument, but it gets resolved in let's say twenty five minutes, Like you'll
8:58
call me if you're at work. If we're arguing over text, for an
9:00
example, he will call me and we will resolve it over. Yesterday we
9:05
argued over why I left the lights on when I left for work. Because
9:07
after argument or like, I made a statement, I said, is there
9:11
a reason? Argument right here? Right now? He said, was there
9:18
a reason why you left all the lights on this morning? It was good
9:22
turn into arguments. What did you say? It was? I was trying
9:26
to brighten your day? He said, he was trying to brighten my day.
9:28
And I said, funny, that was yet, No, it wasn't
9:31
really an argument. No, but it was going to turn into an argument
9:33
if I hadn't changed profitably, honestly, majority of our arguments the old milk,
9:37
if I leave the oat milk out in the morning. No, I
9:39
would say, majority of our arguments are about a mass you leave or the
9:43
dishes you leave in the scene. Okay, we both behind the scenes of
9:48
all kayes lunch tiktoks, the dishes get left in the sink for me to
9:54
My argument against that is that I film my tiktoks and then I like to
9:58
edit the immediately so I can post them because I'm pretty like in the moment
10:03
with my TikTok's, I'm not really like, I don't really batch too much
10:05
content. It's usually like within the day, so I want to edit it.
10:09
I want to get it up, and then by the time I'm done
10:11
editing and posting, it takes me a long time, and it's usually the
10:15
time when Zlack gets home and I'm like, uh, yeah, like I'm
10:18
clean anyway. So the answer to that question is, yes, we argue
10:26
all the time over dumb stuff. I think it's a very common thing.
10:28
It's healthy. I do think it's healthy too. I think if you're not
10:33
arguing, you're screaming and yelling at each other. Yeah. No, no,
10:35
I wouldn't say, like our arguments are heated arguments about yeah, exactly
10:41
what just happened. It's like a perfect example about that type of situation.
10:46
Oh, okay, this next question is what is your favorite quality in each
10:50
other? I have to think about this, Okay, Mine personally is I
10:58
love how caring Zach is. I feel like Zach always puts me and Freddie
11:05
before everything. He is very good at like just like checking in on me,
11:11
like especially like when he travels and all that he knows that I don't
11:15
like to be alone. And I find like he always like makes a priority
11:18
by like calling me and texting me and just saying like, hey, you
11:22
are good, like how's your day going? Like He's very good at just
11:24
like showing that he truly does care about me. And I really like that
11:28
quality about you. Oh thank you. He's like I guess so I'm going
11:35
in a different route with this one. One of my favorite qualities about you.
11:39
It's two kind of in one, but it's it's your drive and passion
11:43
you have for your job because you truly love everything about it and just the
11:50
joy it brings you on a daily basis, no matter how stressful it gets,
11:54
you're always so happy and passionate. Well, yeah, you're always so
11:58
happy about having the opportunity to do this. I'm very grateful for sure.
12:05
I definitely feel yeah, the love and support, including you guys. Obviously
12:11
I would not be here without you guys. But it truly is a dream
12:13
come true, and I do love what I do, and I would work
12:16
in day and night to make this job possible. That's how much I love
12:20
it. Okay, So we had two questions, where how did you know
12:24
he was the one? And how did you know Kaylee was the one?
12:30
So you go first, I'll go first, Okay. I think what really
12:33
truly set it in was I knew I wanted to be with it for a
12:37
long time when we first started dating, Like that was high school, so
12:43
you're still trying to figure yourself and grow as a person. But really set
12:46
it in was a couple of years after high school. I was coaching travel
12:48
baseball and I was way like from May till April April, it's like the
12:54
end of the summer. I was gone almost every other weekend, you know,
12:58
four hours from home, six from home, coaching these tournaments, not
13:01
with her, and there was nothing I want I looked forward to more than
13:05
coming home on Sunday and spending you know, Sunday evening with her before I
13:09
had to go back to work on Monday morning. Call like I've always wanted
13:16
to. I wanted to come on the trips, I wanted to be there,
13:18
I wanted to be around, and it was not just being away from
13:20
her, but wanting her there with me all the time. That's kind of
13:22
what's actually that's actually kind of similar to my answer, because my answer was
13:26
going to be, like I realized once I felt the sense of home with
13:31
you, like no matter where we were, when we were traveling or anything
13:33
like that, I always felt a sense of home with you specifically, you
13:37
know what I mean. And if you feel overly comfortable with someone and you
13:41
feel a sense of home with that person, I truly believe that feels like
13:45
your person. Like I feel like that's a huge sign in your relationship that
13:50
like that is definitely someone that you're going to be with for a long time
13:52
or potentially the person that you're going to marry, like our situation. But
13:58
I mean I think for you, like you travel and you coming back to
14:01
me, I think you kind of felt like, Okay, this is home,
14:03
Like I'm with her, like this is my home. You know.
14:07
Yeah, that was literally my answer was home. I call you home.
14:11
But even said it to you the other day, I was like, the
14:13
reason why I love you so much is that no matter like where we are
14:16
or anything, like, I know, whenever I'm with you that's home.
14:20
Okay. This next question is, how did Zach propose? We actually have
14:24
a proposal episode dedicated to this entire story? Do we know you? Sorry?
14:33
Okay, I actually whatever, we but we do we because the story
14:35
is about us. But anyways, yes, we have an episode in February.
14:41
I can't remember the exact number, but it's called the Proposal. I'm
14:46
pretty sure the episode and basically quick little rundown. You do need to listen
14:50
to the episode though, because it is such a good episode. I cried
14:54
in it like it was such a yeah, and you answer a lot more
14:58
questions. There are a lot there dead. You got a lot of questions
15:01
asking, oh, how many did somebody help him plan it? Did?
15:05
How many people knew? I don't think you really touched on how many people
15:07
knew, because it ended up being a lot of yeah, well yeah,
15:11
you told me after the fact and I was like, how did that many
15:13
people hide? Yeah? There was no well there was. There was the
15:18
six we were down there with us, and then my parents, your parents,
15:22
my sister, your brother. Yeah, it a couple of our friends
15:28
were down there. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. So basically we had a
15:33
trip in the beginning of the year and Zach and I's anniversary is March second,
15:39
and we were on vacation on our anniversary, so it was the twenty
15:45
third or twenty second, twenty second to the second, I think. And
15:50
originally Zach was going to wait till the end of the trip to do it
15:52
on our anniversary, but he couldn't wait obviously. Yeah, he was like,
15:58
I to tell you now. I also think that would have been hard
16:02
to keep that secret the entire week with our friends, Like that would have
16:04
been really hard. But yeah, basically, we were in Mexico and he
16:10
proposed to me on the second day within our trip, and we got to
16:14
make a whole trip out of it and just like celebrate the exciting milestone.
16:18
And now we're in the process of planning our wedding and guys, a little
16:25
update because I give you guys updates all the time about wedding. Step Zach
16:29
and I ficially got the news that we got to book our flights. Literally,
16:34
well, we probably won't book it tonight just because it's kind of late
16:37
now, But no, don't tell them. Are they're gonna know? No
16:42
posting. Yeah, I'm gonna surprise them when we're in the location for sure.
16:47
I'm not hiding the whole venue searching. No, but we officially got
16:52
the thumbs up that we can book our flights for the day after our engagement
16:56
party. It's gonna be, Oh, that's gonna be stressful, like packing
17:00
up in everything. That's at least we have like the Sunday and then we
17:03
fly out on the Monday. So anyways, so we're going to be probably
17:07
booking that probably Thursday night. Yeah, yeah, I mean tomorrow night.
17:14
His ball life obviously is important. Okay, we're gonna get into the next
17:18
question, which is kind of related to wedding stuff, which is has the
17:22
stress of engagement and wedding planning impacted your relationship at all? I don't think
17:26
it's impacted our relationship in a negative way. I think it's actually impacted our
17:30
relationship even more in a positive way. In my opinion, I personally feel
17:33
like Zach and I obviously we've been together for such a long time, and
17:38
don't get me wrong, the spark has never been lost in our relationship.
17:42
But something just like I love this man more than anything in the world,
17:48
but when he proposed me and like, just like being engaged, it just
17:52
felt like a new love was completely unlocked, Like just like I was already
17:56
obsessed with him, but I became even more sess with them just because like
18:00
it was just a love you can't even like describe, Like just the feeling
18:06
of taking your relationship to the next level is just like a so real feeling,
18:11
Like I can't even describe it. So personally for me, I feel
18:15
like this whole planning and all that has been like not. I mean,
18:19
yes, it's been stressful, but I wouldn't say it's made an impact in
18:22
a relationship in terms of, like, you know, causing more arguments against
18:26
like you know, potential budgeting, right because obviously things are expensive. Like
18:30
there's no money conversation that's been an issue or anything like that. I feel
18:33
like, honestly, it's just been like just being excited to like take on
18:38
these next few steps of our relationship and yeah, actually make it official.
18:44
So shouldn't you repeat everything? You just say? No, But I think
18:48
no, everything said it's true, Like it's just like it's it's really weird
18:52
to describe it. I don't even know how to describe it. It's just
18:53
like a whole different feeling. I don't know, it's like a whole new
18:56
excitement almost, yes, excitement, but also like I feel like our communication
19:02
has gotten better about certain things like no, we didn't fight about budget or
19:04
anything like that, but we both said, well, I want to go
19:07
here, this what I want the budget be, and you wanted the budget
19:10
to be there, and we talked about it, we compromised, we met
19:12
in the middle, and it was I think, if anything, that's helped
19:15
our communication at the point. Yeah. Yeah, obviously we had to talk
19:21
about budget and all that and what we felt. I want this benning for
19:25
the engagement party, but I want this one. I wanted to here.
19:26
Well, we gotta do this, and you know, I mean, I
19:30
think it really helped our communication. I think another thing too is that like
19:33
obviously there was like certain things that Zach really wanted and certain things that I
19:37
really wanted for the engagement party for an example, because that's like what we've
19:40
been planning currently, Like the wedding is still a bit down the road,
19:44
but like Zach really wanted this band that we got, and just like other
19:47
little details that like he took you took charge. Actually, like Zach has
19:52
actually been a huge support in the whole planning process. I feel like,
19:56
obviously grooms never play a big factor in the planning pro this, but I
20:00
will say that Zach, I feel like it's yeah, but I feel like
20:03
you've done a lot more than the typical groom in my opinion, like for
20:07
the engagement party again not the wedding, but like you know, there's like
20:08
those tiktoks and reels that are like, oh, here's the you know,
20:14
bride going all crazy, like you know, doing everything in this room's like
20:18
on his phone doing nothing. But I think to answer that question, I
20:22
think we both just agree that, like, it's definitely been a positive impact
20:26
in a relationship when it comes to communication. Yeah, whole new connection,
20:32
a whole new excitement, and a whole new love. I think with this
20:37
whole process, I feel like Zach and I we think so much like And
20:41
I don't know if that's because we're both aries but like our or because we
20:45
were all together. Yeah, we do both have ADHD. That also doesn't
20:48
help, but I I've ever told that, but yeah, Zach and I
20:52
both have pretty bad ADHD. Okay, this next question is tell us about
20:57
your first date. Oh, we've definitely never told that. The ship really
21:03
quick. Well, no, what do you say. No, it didn't
21:07
go to ship. Basically, okay, to start off the planned No,
21:11
it didn't go the way we planned to start off. Zach and I,
21:15
I consider us friends. I wouldn't say good friends. I consider us friends.
21:19
In high school, we were in the same math class. She sat
21:22
beside me so we could work as a group, so she could talk to
21:26
her two friends, and I was, yeah, basically I forced Zach to
21:30
be my partner so I could be close to my friends because this teacher was
21:33
super strict and didn't allow groups of three. So I just forced myself to
21:37
sit beside Zach and make him my partner. And he would literally just put
21:44
his headphones in and just like ignore me. But eventually we started talking,
21:48
and I guess I was flirting because my flirting is annoying him. Again,
21:53
we're also young, I'm yeah, still is some case of it, but
21:59
like we were was sixteen at this point, so like we were young,
22:02
and I actually was dating someone else at the time, and then me and
22:04
this guy broke up. And anyways, Zach and I took our friendship to
22:11
the next level and he asked me on a date and in Ottawa. It
22:15
was the winter. So because our anniversary is sometime in from February, so
22:18
I guess it must have been January or December. No, probably even February,
22:23
I don't think so. No, babe, No, it would have
22:26
been the canal opens in January, because why would we date twenty three days
22:32
after Let's say, what was February first, There's no way. So basically,
22:37
Zach asked me to go to the canal to skanning I couldn't skate at
22:41
the time. Oh my god, that would have been a huge Maybe I
22:47
wouldn't have been in this relationship with you because I can skate. I'm a
22:49
good, good skater, and I don't think you knew that because I can
22:53
skate circles around. I don't know why I thought that was a good idea.
23:00
Yeah, now that we're thinking of that, that would have been back
23:02
to the beginning of the day. In Ottawa, we've got the world's largest
23:04
outdoor skating rink in the Rito Canal, which is a kind of a it's
23:08
no. Yeah, it's a cool thing like non in Ottawa for sure,
23:11
definitely something you should do if you're ever in Ottawa in the winter. But
23:15
yeah, and basically it was one of the coldest days of the year,
23:19
and like, I don't even know if it was open. Oh, it
23:22
was definitely open, but it was just it was just way too cold to
23:26
go. It's Ottawa sucks because it gets to be minus twenty and then mine
23:30
is forty with the wind chill and it's just not enjoyable. Yeah. Yeah,
23:33
So we were like, Okay, let's just do a pizza and movie
23:37
date, like at my parents place. Terrible movie was some weird horror movie
23:42
about a bear and I don't even know, and you know what, Like
23:45
on the first date, you girls definitely get this where like you don't want
23:48
to eat too much in front of the guy. Like we had pizza and
23:52
I think had like one slice and then he left and I like, forget
23:56
devoured my face food because I was like, so pars eat too much food
24:00
in front of you. Anyways, now it's definitely different. I definitely don't
24:04
do that anymore, but you girls get it obviously. But that was our
24:10
first date. Definitely not memorable at all, but we definitely have had other
24:15
memorable dates that like just traveling together and all that. So I will get
24:21
into this next question about traveling because I really really like this one. What
24:25
is your favorite travel memory together? I think there's only one answer to this.
24:30
Proposing to you on the beach in Mexico. That's a good one.
24:36
I mean, obviously I should be saying the same, because that was obviously
24:40
the best trip. But I'm trying to think of other, like travel memories
24:45
that we have. Zach and I have been to Europe twice, brillin getting
24:49
on the ticket. No, No, one of bad memories we got out
24:53
of the ticket. What are you talking about. I mean that was that
24:56
we celebrated. That was actually fun. I can think of like Amsterdam,
25:00
like being on the boat touring, like just like the cute little town.
25:06
I can think of Croatia, just like cyclone on the boat. No,
25:11
I was not thinking of the boat. I was thinking of like being split,
25:14
like actually like having an airbnb, being in Paris together, Prague.
25:22
Prague was actually really fun. We really enjoyed Prague. Budapest. Budapest was
25:26
so good too. We'd traveled so much together. Oh my god. Our
25:30
anniversary trip in Mexico when we were dating for six years. How you proposed
25:37
to me in Mexico? Trip was fun except for the first day. Oh
25:44
okay, we could go way too long into that episode. We can't do
25:47
that. Basically, the airport with an expired passport and that was a long,
25:52
long day after that. Yeah, basically, yeah, we're not going
25:55
to get into that story. But basically Zach showed up with an expired passport.
25:56
I was crying. I had to change the flight. We ended up
26:00
getting on a red eye. We missed a night of our all inclusive trip.
26:03
And that was and that was on the day ever anniversary. That was
26:07
literally happy six years. I have an expired passport. We can't fly out
26:10
to Mexico. We need to go to a last minute officer and pay double
26:15
the fee of a passport fee because we had to get a passport within under
26:19
How long did you get new It was really fast when you got it.
26:22
It was like five hours from time he called me to the time I got
26:25
the passport was like two hours. Really called me like ten in the morning.
26:29
I got the passport my hand about twelve thirty. Anyways, this is
26:33
your sign to make sure that your passport is up to date and not expire.
26:36
This is something that I think will never happen again to us because it
26:38
was such a traumatic situation, like just imagine being at the airport and getting
26:42
told, yeah, you guys aren't traveling today, your passports expired, like
26:45
literally worse. Yeah, but it was still a really good trip besides that
26:52
whole shit show. But yeah, I think there's so many travel memories that
26:56
we can think of, but I definitely grew zac. I think the best
26:57
one, obviously was the proposal. Okay, this one's short. Who was
27:03
the first to say I love you? I was, Yeah, you were.
27:07
It was on Easter my parents. Yeah, we were only dating for
27:11
two and a half months, three months early, real early. Though there's
27:17
clearly not a red flag. Clearly it was a good one. How many
27:21
kids do you guys want to have in the future. We'll say the number
27:25
one three, one, two, three, two, two. Oh my
27:29
god, definitely not four. That's too many. As much as I'd love
27:33
to have four kids financially, I just I'm thinking of financial situations because kids
27:38
are expensive. But yes, we want to I would be happy with either
27:44
a girl or a boy. But Zach and I would have it not like
27:48
I don't want to say have a way of preference, like there's no preference.
27:51
But if I had to give the ideal situation. I would love to
27:55
be a boy mom. I'd love to have two boys. I feel like
27:59
I feel like that's like totally so I feel like that's something that people wouldn't
28:03
get from me. I feel like people would think that I would want two
28:04
girls, but I am a huge tomboy at her like I grew up as
28:08
a tomboy. And yeah, I don't know. I just feel like Zach
28:14
and I would thrive with two boys. But we will see what the picture
28:17
holds. Zach and I are not in that phase in our life right now.
28:19
I've also had a few questions on like asking like when are we going
28:22
to try and all that, and obviously Zack and I have talked about it
28:26
and personally we are you know, waiting to have that conversation after the wedding
28:32
because to us, that's what's most important right now. And we are both
28:36
very career driven, like we really want to have you know, more establishment
28:41
within our careers and grow more and all that. And yeah, we have
28:45
Freddie, He's our little baby. He's already a lot of work. So
28:49
yeah, that's like a little update on us for kids and all that,
28:52
But definitely want to get married first and just enjoy the honeymoon phase and enjoy
28:57
yeah, being a recently married couple. This question was do you and Zach
29:03
share friends? Struggling because me and my BF don't. This is a really
29:08
good question actually, because so we do. Now we do now exactly that
29:14
is exactly where I was going to go. And we share friends. Oh,
29:17
be completely honest, but we share friends because of you. Yes,
29:21
Now, I just want to talk about before we can get into like where
29:23
you're going with this, because I know where you're going with this. Zach
29:26
and I in high school had completely different friend groups. We came from completely
29:32
different parts of high school, like different clicks, different clicks. And you
29:37
guys know, if obviously you know from being in high school, if you're
29:41
in high school now or if you've been in high school, you know that
29:45
there's always like different clicks, as Zach said, like you know, sometimes
29:48
there's the jocks, there's the popular kids, there's the drama kids, like
29:52
there's the dancers. Like I don't know, I feel like in high school
29:56
at least, like there was a lot of clicks like that at our high
29:59
school specifically, and Zach and I just came from two different clicks. And
30:03
when we started dating, Like, my friend group really didn't accept Zach and
30:07
didn't want him part of the group because he wasn't part of the group.
30:10
So that really impacted my friendship and I actually made the decision of leaving that
30:15
friend group because they weren't accepting of my relationship for the guy who I was
30:21
falling in love with at the time. And so I actually left that friend
30:26
group completely and I struggled for the last year of high school to make new
30:30
friends in high school. That's definitely a big adjustment, and definitely it was
30:36
a hard period of time in my life. But I knew I made the
30:40
right decision. And I know it sounds weird like leaving your friends for a
30:42
guy, especially that early into the relationship, but when you know, you
30:45
know, and I knew Zach was making a good impact in my life.
30:48
He wasn't impacting it in a negative way. And along the lines, that's
30:53
when I started to realize that the smaller group of friends were the better on
31:00
my best friends still to this day that you guys know, I talk about
31:02
all the time. Alissa, she just recently got married, She just recently
31:04
announced she's having kids. She was someone who I got even closer with.
31:10
You know, I feel like sometimes with friendships it can go in and out.
31:12
And I feel like Alyssa and I were like we were drifting apart in
31:15
high school. But obviously she was busy. She was one of the friends
31:18
you wanted to sit beside a math class. Yeah, yeah, she was.
31:21
But that was someone who I got even closer with as we got older
31:25
and older and older, and so it made me realize that, like,
31:27
you don't need to have a big group of friends too, like feel good
31:33
within friendships, if that makes sense. Yeah, And so as Zach and
31:37
I have grown within our relationship, we have grown so many amazing friendships.
31:42
And Zach has still created his own friendships. I've still created my own friendships.
31:47
Like it's important too obviously grow separately, but also grow together. But
31:52
Zach, I guess you can get into this point now, Like after that
31:56
whole high school thing, I went to college. You know, I met
31:59
a few new friends. You got into trade, got into the trades,
32:02
and you know, you met your friends. And then as our relationship continued
32:07
to grow, we started to like I started to introduce you to my friends,
32:10
which then it was like like your friends that you grew up in the
32:17
ones you stayed close with from your sports and your people you saw all the
32:22
time. It became us hanging out as couples with them and their boyfriends.
32:27
And then that's true, but I wasn't really that close to them in high
32:30
school, is what I'm saying. Like, I didn't get much closer with
32:34
them until I got into college, and that's when I started to introduce you
32:37
to Kate's you know, Kate's one of my friends. Kate's boyfriend Adam,
32:40
and then you know List's boyfriend, who was different boyfriends at the time.
32:46
Let's say, if you're listening to this, sorry, I love you.
32:49
Yeah. So basically our big group of friends now kind of started with you
32:54
introducing me to your friends and then their boyfriends, and then us just getting
32:59
along and hanging out, and then actually Adam and Kate bringing on us to
33:04
a friend's trip, and then that's how we pretty much ended up with our
33:07
group of friends that were hanging out with now. I mean, like,
33:09
yes, I brought you into it, but at the same time, like
33:14
like you've also found like well, I don't don't get me, don't me
33:17
wrong. I've got my I've got my own friends outside of Zach has a
33:22
lot of friends and like different kinds of like work friends, our friends.
33:27
We share friends in the sense that when we go out on a Friday night
33:29
together, we're going with Kna lessor we're go with Adam and Kate, We're
33:32
going with it, We're going with the same group of people. The same
33:35
group of the same group of ten fifteen people is kind of who we go
33:39
out with all the time. Yeah, so like different mixed lous you need
33:43
to have friends for different reasons thousand percent. Like as as I mentioned,
33:46
Zach has friends like his works friends, you have your ball friends. Like,
33:51
yeah, you have so many different friends and so many different groups,
33:52
which is a very healthy and good thing to have. But I think it's
33:57
important to have friends for different things, and I don't think anything wrong with
34:00
that. The girl who actually sents this question, she said she was struggling
34:04
with her and her boyfriend don't have the same friends, So, like,
34:07
what is some advice that we could give her. I think it's important to
34:12
like introduce each other to each other's friends and you know, create exactly give
34:17
them a chance. I don't think there's anything wrong with allowing the other person
34:22
to join that friend group. I think if your friends are accepting the person
34:28
that you love or that you're in a relationship with, I think is extremely
34:32
important. So as I said, like I introduce Zach to one of my
34:37
childhood best friends and her boyfriend, and maybe that's a good starting point.
34:42
Maybe you try and just do double dates with you know, other friends instead
34:45
of like a big group of friends. It could be a bit intimidating,
34:49
right, like entering a big group of friends that you're not you know what
34:52
I mean. Like, imagine if I brought you to our big group of
34:53
thirty friends and you didn't know anybody. That's a bit intimidating, right.
34:58
It might be like good to start off that because then, like I feel
35:00
like that's kind of how we started out, because Adam knew you super well
35:04
at that point, which is my girlfriend's boyfriend, and then you know,
35:08
he introduced you to all of his friends, right, and it kind of
35:12
made you feel g ronically Kyle, who's now married to Lissa, that's yeah,
35:15
we don't need to go through our exact friend group. There's too many
35:17
people. But I think the moral of the story is I think you should
35:20
start out small by just introducing maybe with another couple, and then gradually add
35:24
them to the group. That way they feel more included and not like it's
35:28
too much for them, right, because it is a lot going into a
35:30
big group of friends like that if you do have a bigger a friend,
35:34
So that would be my advice on that. Do you have anything to add
35:37
to that? I think maybe they could talk if they wanted to try and
35:40
hang out as a bigger group with her friends and his friends. There's definitely
35:45
gonna be some of her friends who don't like some of his friends. Some
35:47
of his friends aren't gonna like some of her friends. But if they can
35:50
find you know, one or two maybe three on each side that kind of
35:53
got along with each other or would get along with each other, try to
35:58
go out like, hey, let's go get drinks to right, let's go
36:00
do this, you know what I mean. Try to hang out with you
36:01
know, two or three separate people and try to create a try and start
36:04
a bigger group. Thousand percent. It's always so fun to have a big
36:07
group of friends, and yeah, have your close ones as well for different
36:13
reasons. Again, it's good to have friendships for different things. Okay,
36:15
we only have two more questions left. This one's a bit spicy. So
36:22
how much do you prioritize sex and is it an important part of your relationship?
36:29
I mean, I think I think, yes, it is an important
36:32
part in our relationship. I think it obviously allows intimacy, brings us closer
36:37
together, and I definitely think we definitely prioritize it in a way that like
36:45
we just know that we both like want that, like we both want to
36:49
initiate zax. I would agree, and like, I think we both know
36:54
that it is important to us, And I wouldn't say like there's one person
36:59
that initiates it more than the other. I think it's like sometimes it's you,
37:01
sometimes it's me. It just really depends. But I think we're both
37:05
very accepting and there's never really any like what's the word I'm looking pack pushback,
37:14
That's the word I'm looking for. Yeah, Like I think we both
37:15
just like we both want it when we want it. There's also signs too,
37:21
right, Like I've seen like videos where it's like I don't know,
37:23
like some funny ones where it's like based on the way the girl's dress before
37:29
bed, we'll let you know if she's into Like what step sex or not,
37:31
like where she's in like baggy sweat bands and like a dirty shirt,
37:36
like yeah, no, she's not into it. If she's wearing like maybe
37:38
a cute matching PJ set, like oh yeah, I might get lucky.
37:42
And then if she's wearing like basically a robe with nothing on underneath, it's
37:45
like, oh yeah, I'm getting it tonight, Like you've never seen that.
37:49
No, but it's true. It's sometimes like you can just kind of
37:52
like read the room and you can kind of just like no, like yeah,
37:55
like if that comes home exhausted from work, I'm like, yeah,
37:58
I'm not getting lucky tonight, you know what I mean, Like, I
38:00
know you're tired. I'm not gonna like you know. So I think it's
38:04
also important just to like read the room, know your partner and just like
38:07
yeah, definitely it's very important in our relationship. And yeah, I think
38:13
it brings us closer together. Okay, last and final question, because I
38:16
think this one is so so important, is best advice to keep the spark
38:22
alive? Since we've maintained a ten year relationship. This is actually going to
38:28
go to one of your most recent tiktoks. Don't say the one I'm gonna
38:30
say, you're gonna say the same one. You think, so I don't
38:36
know how to say it. Never stop dating. Yes, that was the
38:37
one I was going to say, But it's so true. It's so true,
38:42
you guys. Like I just made a video about how to maintain a
38:45
long term relationship, and the biggest advice I can give is never stop dating.
38:52
Relationships can get boring sometimes if you just do the same thing and you
38:55
don't change things up, and you don't you know what I mean, Like
38:58
you need to have fun. You need to remember what it's like back when
39:01
you were sixteen, like you know what I mean. Like Zach and I
39:05
we used to do you know, we used to go to the movies all
39:07
the time, like just like different fun date ideas, and it just like
39:12
made the love Like I don't even know how explained, Like it just like
39:15
felt so good, like going out on dates. And so Zach and I
39:20
always prioritize date night, whether it's doing take it at home, or going
39:25
to the beach and watching the sunset and ordering pizza, or even just like
39:29
going on an ice cream date and walking the dog. Like recently we've actually
39:32
been doing like Saturday morning date days where we go get a coffee together,
39:36
and like you know what I mean, just like those little things make such
39:38
a big impacting quality time together. That's that's the big part of it.
39:44
It's spending quality of time together, not just going to the dinner and both
39:46
you sitting there on your phones, put your phones down, have a conversation
39:51
because HONESO, I feel having a conversation out at dinner at a restaurant or
39:57
you know, getting ice cream and spending that time together just sitting there talking.
40:00
It's different than cooking dinner together at home but stuff going on in the
40:05
background. Definitely, Like don't just because like you live together, like Zach
40:08
and I we lived together and we've lived together for like two three years now
40:13
at this point, and like Zach's like shocked, not likely, it's a
40:17
long time. It's true though, Like it's so different like living together,
40:22
Like yeah, we're together all the time, but it's not dating. It's
40:25
not considered a date. Like Zach has his own personal things that he's working
40:29
on, you know, with work and all that, and I have my
40:30
personal things like I'm always working, right, Like, we don't really spend
40:35
any quality time together, so it's really important to schedule that date night,
40:39
you know, once a week, in doing something that you guys can actually
40:45
communicate and enjoy your quality time together. I think that's literally important important thing,
40:50
Like I was going to say the exact same thing. Other things is
40:52
like making sure that you guys are always communicating with each other, which is
40:54
kind of like what we talked about. Anything else that we can think about
40:59
for new Spark Live. Always showing surprise each other and showing off your love.
41:06
I love that, whether it's like you know, treating each other like
41:08
getting each other's flowers, or just like showing you care, you know what
41:13
I mean, like doing like those little things like you going out of your
41:16
way to you know, like me going to the grocery store and be like,
41:20
hey, I thought of you when I picked this up, and you're
41:22
like, oh my god, that's awesome, Like thank you for doing that.
41:23
Like just like those little things that like makes a difference and it makes
41:27
you feel like that person really cares and that they're going out of their way
41:30
to do that for you. Okay, well that is going to end off
41:32
our episode today, but I hope you guys enjoyed this episode with Zach and
41:37
I let us know if you guys want us to do more episodes like this.
41:39
I really enjoyed having you on my podcast act so thank you for taking
41:44
you for having time out of your night to chat with me. But if
41:47
you guys are now, definitely make sure to follow the at the Hawkgirl Energy
41:52
Podcast Instagram. You can also follow me the host Kailee at Instagram at on
41:58
Instagram, TikTok and you too. But I love you all so much.
42:00
Thank you again for listening to today's episode and I will see you guys next week