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Life as a Multi-Passionate 5/1 Mani-Gen Raising a Reflector · Human Design IRL

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh hey there.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Carly, Human Design Medium, and your guide for this podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: This is Human Design IRL, where we talk to my favorite women in the world about how their human design shows up in their real lives.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: So you have actual examples as you're learning about how your design might show up in yours.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Here's a clip from today's episode.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_04: What is my manifesting generators sign of not being in alignment?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_04: Frustrated with a side of pissed.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: Sounds familiar.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: Before we start the episode, I want to remind you that we talk about specific channels, gates, incarnation crosses, all the stuff in every episode.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: So if you want to grab your chart, now is the time, or head to my website, humandesignmedium.com backslash design.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: There's a free calculator on there.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: You're welcome to use.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: All right, here we go.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, I'm Carly Arbuckle, Human Design Medium, and this is the Human Design IRL Podcast.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: Today I have one of my people, one of my deepest, darkest, dearest.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I say nearest and dearest.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: And it's true, and I'm interviewing the people, but like this is like my sister.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: This is like my family.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm sharing her with you today.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: And her name is Erin, and she has a really big job.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: So we can't even tell you her last name.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not going to.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um because it sounds like I'm in the CIA.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: You are.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you're really powerful.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: You're very powerful.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: Such a powerful person.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: But she is a manny gen.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: She's a 5-1 manny gen.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: And she is agreed to talk to me about how her design shows up in real life today.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: So, Erin, I mean, you can introduce yourself, but your intro says that you've always loved building things.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I love building things.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: I know, you love a good instruction, right?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_04: I do always have.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_04: I was a Lego kid through and through.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm not, I'm no master builder.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_04: I like the instruction.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_04: I like the set.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_04: I would build all the sets in a in like our living room and make a world.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, a little offended by the premise of the Lego movie.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_04: No, I never glued anyone.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_04: I wanted to take it apart and just build it again.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: But Okay.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I just saw on Shark Tank that there was a kid who invented leg glue.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: And it's a water-soluble Lego glue that you can paste on.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so while you're building it, it can't break.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: But then if you want to build it again, you put it in water.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: Isn't that amazing?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: My first question is Legos stick together.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: So well, like, so it's if you drop it, or like if someone if someone a sibling comes in and kicks it.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: Rude.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: Rude.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: But if you're building like the Millennium Falcon or whatever, then it'll stay together.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_04: True story, it's summertime.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_04: And my my six-year-old is currently at Lego camp.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, that's cool.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_04: It's actually Lego slash scrapbooking camp.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure what that means.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I think they're trying to do is like not be gender stereotype.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_04: I think they're like, I don't think we can do a whole week of Lego or a whole week of scrapbooking.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_04: That's my what I'm getting.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_04: We'll see.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: Work with your hands week.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Creative work with your hands.
• 3:36
  unknown: Yeah.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_04: First day I said, What'd you do at camp?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_04: She said, I made a shit.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_04: Cool.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_04: There was a man sleeping in it.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_04: Meet and a door.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_04: Terrific.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_04: That sounds like a dream.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_04: Spectacular.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_04: I know they didn't like give you a new set to build.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_04: That did not happen.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_04: So my little hats were build or go.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and maybe she'll put it in her sprint book.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_04: Well, she's supposed to bring in 10 photos.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_04: You know your kids are in there.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_04: She's picked out her photos.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: Oh that's not till later.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe Erin's daughter, we just realized for people who are human design people that are listening, is a reflector, which I screamed when I found out because this is like my little like baby niece little baby child.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I cannot believe I'm so close to a reflector.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: I had no idea.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_04: And literally since we had that conversation, it has like really affected my lens of my child.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_04: It's uh stop.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_04: Like I mean, she's six and she's stubborn and she's testing boundaries and digging her heels in.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm I've found ever since we had that conversation, I've found myself being more cognizant of what I'm giving to her.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_04: And and I'm experimenting with it.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's the whole thing.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_04: This is kind of working.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: So for anybody who doesn't know, who's new to human design, a reflector is the rarest type in human design.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's 1% or less of the population.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_04: I birthed a unicorn, is what we're trying to say.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: Well, she was almost born on a leap year.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: We were hoping you went into labor on a leap year.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: I did.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: On the 29th, but then you got this reflector baby who reflectors are in traditional human design.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: You've got manifestors who are downloading the new ideas and being a visionary, sort of, and you know, giving them to people and they're sort of hot or cold.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: And the whole reason is because generators, which is and manifesting generators, which is your type, are meant to find what they like in or they don't like it in the manifest, but they take that and find something they're passionate about and build it.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: And like you're talking about creating things.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_02: Manifesting generators are a little bit different.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: We'll talk about that in a second, because you do all the things.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's called multi-passionate.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a crafter, that's for sure.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_04: I've got you don't just have one thing.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_04: You don't just have one thing.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just gonna say that you know, in my younger days, I'd feel guilty about not finishing something I started and have to stick with it.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_04: And now that I'm, you know, in my 40s and just I'm in the club of women who just don't care.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: I I hear it gets better.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_03: I hear it gets better.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like even after this.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_04: I have got a Christmas stocking going right now.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_04: I've got a Halloween diamond painting, I've got a puzzle that I haven't touched in three weeks, but it's still there, and I'm not gonna touch it because I want, I know I'll come back.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_03: There's letting yourself do it.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I just, you know, follow the dopamine, baby.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, right.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: So the whole point is it's serving you.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: So so we have the generators, and then we have projectors, which is my type, which our job is to stand back a little bit and look at it from a bird's eye view.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then when we are asked, and that's the key, when we are asked, show or basically give our insight into how it can be more efficient, how the doing can be more efficient because we've had a different perspective.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: So, like teachers guide.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I could say that.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I so in terms of a I've tried to think of theater analogy.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: So the the analogy that I made was of of fashion design.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: So you've got the models, and then you've which are generators, and then you've got the many gens, which are you, which is model slash makeup slash backstage slash, it's like doing all the things.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_04: And then in the theater world, it's it's the production manager.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's yeah, just doing all the things.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: And you could be really good at a modeling, but that would it would bore you to do one job.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then you've got projectors who are the creative directors, is how I put it.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: So you're if people are asking, that's like if you are assigned that job.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: So I I guess spot would also be, um, and that's actually when you talk about a project uh a projector's aura, it's I call it like it's either a high beam car light.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: If you have, if no one's asked for your insight, it's like you're flashing blinding lights at them and they can't hear you and they just want to reject everything that's coming from you, or it's a flashlight and someone's asked for some insight or some illumination on things.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: And when they've asked you for it, it can be very helpful.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: So spotlight is a good same thing.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like if someone's waiting for their light, then great.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: But if you're just someone, right.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_04: Theatrical lighting moves your moves your attention and correct and lights up what you want to see or what you want people to see.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_04: But also moves, but also moves where needed.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: Where right, where invited.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's so it that's what it's wait for the invitation.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_02: So it's what if I just sort of did my own thing and saw what and pointed out what I thought was interesting on stage, like people wouldn't be ready for it, and it would just seem very bizarre.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: And people wouldn't be focused on it.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_04: I should mention that Carly Arbuckle, Human Design Medium, and I met doing a play.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: We did.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: We did we met doing to come to the epic outdoor drama.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: What years it was the years 2000, 2009 was when I left.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: I broke my leg on stage literally.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: Literally.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_04: That was nuts.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_04: And then the and then I also that same season dislocated my shoulder on stage.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_04: Because of what?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: Tell the people.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because of a horse.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: Because of a horse, because there were live horses, outdoor drama, yeah.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: 2,000 person amphitheater.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, we met doing that.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: So we're the that's we're 17 years ago.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_04: And you have a buff of 18, 17 years ago, yeah.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: No, stop, really, yeah.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_04: That's because I met you the year after I met my husband, and it's been 18 years with him.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: I can't believe that.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's so weird.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, all right.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: Aaron and I are also both neurodiverse.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm getting back to reflectors.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Do you see how on it I am right now?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_04: You must have a list in front of you.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: I don't.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: I don't.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: This is a spirit bug.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: This is straight.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: I remembered where we were.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: It was the follow spot.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: Then we were explaining why we were talking about follow spots.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: And now I'm gonna talk about the reflector, which is the whole reason for this tangent.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: The reflector, which is your baby girl, is sh like, she's it's not a yeah, I guess she is the critic, but it's more she's the like data recorder.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: So she is not, it's not like she's judging.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: She just is a direct reflection of what's happening around her.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: And the whole and she spends during the month a you know, it's a 28-day cycle, seven days experiencing life as a manifesting generator, seven days um experiencing life as a manifester, as a projector, and as a generator.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: And then at the end of her 28-day cycle, she has a perspective.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, when you meet them, reflectors in the wild, they will reflect you.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: So they'll seem a lot like you.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: But she is this just very cool breed of person.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: Very interesting.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_04: Um, because when she was a baby and like watching her grow, it was like, oh my god, she's me.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my god, she's me.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_04: Like this is a clone.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_04: But then some days this child is painfully shy.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_04: She goes mute in certain situations, any me at all.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know if you listeners at home can uh feel this vibe, but I talk a lot.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_04: And so sometimes with my daughter cannot speak to people she knows well and likes.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, huh?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_04: What's going on?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_04: You are not me.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_04: But I I wonder if that lines up in moments.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, she's just not in that space.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: Or she's overwhelmed.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, so reflectors have a sampling and protected auras.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: Actually, what I'm seeing, probably what spirits telling me, is like a mirror ball that appears to reflect, right?
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: And she can also take that and sample it and reflect it.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, reflect it back.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_04: That's what I used in my book.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_04: I'm wondering if I should even say this, but I'm gonna say it and you can edit it up if you want.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_04: Say it.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_04: What I'm thinking about is Twilight and how for those of you at home who haven't really watched Twilight, what a what a fun ride.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_04: So spoil spoiler alert, stop listening now.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_04: If you haven't read, but from the beginning, we learned that lots of vampires have special abilities.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_04: And and one of Edward's abilities is he can hear people's thoughts, but he can never hear Bella.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_04: And there's something confusing about why other people's abilities don't quite work on her.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_04: And when she becomes a vampire, I told you, spoiler alert, if you're listening, yeah, I'm sorry.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_04: But when she becomes a vampire and and they're trying to figure out what she's got some ability, but they can't figure it out.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_04: And someone from the outside comes in and says, Oh, she's a shield.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_04: She's a reflector.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_04: She's a reflector.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_04: She's a shield.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_04: She and she can uh learns how to extend her shield to protect people around her.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_04: And interesting.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'm I'm it's visualizing speaking.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_04: I'm visualizing how they kind of did that with effects in the films to show her shield and when she's like with people and that yeah, yeah.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_04: She puts that on other people so that other people's powers can't be used on the people near her because she can protect them with her shield.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_04: Interesting.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: So yes, but if if it's just for her.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like I don't know, I don't know that reflectors can do that for other people, but I think it's just, but yeah, I mean, to some like, I don't know, I think just even knowing you're a reflector would give you more power over when and how you use that protection.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I do know that it's there is a layer of knowing that this is not permanent.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so they they are a sampling and manifesting generator, but it's not, they're not conf like when they are by themselves, they are back to themselves.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's it's they're so I mean, I would love to talk to a reflector if you're listening to this and your reflector, I think they're just fascinating and very wise because they're so they observe so much about everything everybody around them, and it's almost like they're undercover.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you're talking to them, if you haven't sort of asked for their wisdom, I guess, or invited it, like you're just gonna experience them as they're reflecting you.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: Strange and cool.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I can't wait to see how she that happens as she gets older.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the the only reflector I've ever read was in healthcare.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: And she and this was like in 2021, and she was like, I just want to leave the planet.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I went into this whole like, if you're thinking of hurting yourself, like I had I went into like a clinical talk about you know about loss of life, and she was like, No, it's not like that.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's like I want to float away from this planet right now.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: And it's because she was in healthcare during COVID.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, with the news, watching the news, live like doing these 12-hour shifts in the hospital.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so she's a reflection of her environment.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: And it's they they talk about it like the literal health of the environment.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: If she was thriving, he's like the barometer.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so for reflectors, if they are really not feeling they're feeling, I mean, their sign of not being in alignment is disappointment.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: If they're disappointed by everything around them, and it just is like this woman said, I just want to leave, then they should switch their environment.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's like the biggest thing you can possibly do as a reflector because it will change everything about you, everything about how you persuade how about your state of wellness.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_04: What is my manifesting generators sign of not being in alignment?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_04: Frustrated with a side of pissed.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: Sound familiar?
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: Wanna talk about it?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_04: Well, as I divulged before, my how I like to build things and follow instructions and sort things in my neurospicy brain.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_04: I have always needed things to be efficient.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_04: And if there was an inefficiency, I could improve it.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_04: And if it's not being done as efficiently as possible.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_04: Anger, well, frustration, like why are we wasting time?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_04: And then, you know, upon reflection and aging, it's like, whose time is being wasted?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_04: Why do we care?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_04: But I'm like, well, still itches in my brain, so here we are.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_02: But interesting.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: Because I call it, I think in the book I call it frustration.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like frustration because it's got so it the generator self and not self is like self and not self is like warmer, colder, of like when you're in alignment.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: So the warmer is satisfaction.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, you've burned through your energy in a way that is like really feels satisfying, fulfilling to you.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: And when you have not, when you've gone against your gut or your feelings, depending on what kind of generator you are, you feel frustrated and like you haven't reached the potential for the day.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: Manifesters, which is 10% of the population, we which is what the first one we talked about, the visionary thing, you've got a little piece of that, which is where that influence comes from.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: And they are known, their strategy is to initiate.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: So they start things and inform.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: And that's, I think, where you come in.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's a part of you that initiates, but you are also you are meant to be inspired by something, and then it drives your creativity.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: You also, so the part the the part that I'm that is speaking to your frustration um is manifestors are known for not informing people, and then they get angry when people don't understand what's going on.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: So, an example I give, right?
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: So the example I give is like if if someone who's in a partnership with, you know, whoever a spouse like meets well, right, gets like a new, like the radiator or like the water heater breaks, right?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's a huge investment.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: And they just go get another one because they need it.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: And the reason would be, well, right, because we can't not get, you're welcome.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: I did it, it's efficient.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: I we didn't like I just went to the store and did it.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: But when people don't know, it is like just sort of unsettling.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: And then what they do is they ask questions, which slows down the process and the manifesting.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_04: No, no, no, I'm fixing it.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: Or like just explain to me like what, and then the manifestor gets angry that they are in the way because what they are driving toward is a sense of peace.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so you have a little bit of that manifestor, which is, you know, so you have satisfaction that is also a feeling that is influenced by peace.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_02: Would you say I'm just curious?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_04: For people that are like like me, like a manifesting generator, yeah, would would that manifesting side come out in cycles?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_04: Or is it?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_04: No, it doesn't.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_04: You tell me.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't know, but I'm laughing because my husband, who's a generator with nine defined centers, if anybody centers, he is literally all nubs.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: If you want to look at the puzzle piece, he is just all nubs, he just has no grooves, he has no areas that he's receiving, he is giving.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_04: He knows who he married, and but oh my goodness, he's like, hey, all good, but can you tell me what's going on?
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_04: I need plans.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_04: I just yeah, no, we can watch your kid for a week.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_04: It's fine.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, oh yeah, this kid's coming to our house for a week.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, great example.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, why?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's fine, everything's fine.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: And then he starts asking questions to get clearing.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_03: Uh huh.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm laughing because, oh my God, like right currently, our oven is being so Stupid.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_04: It's been stupid for a while, but it there's something wrong with it.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_04: And if you have something on the back burner that's steaming, it'll trigger the temperature sensor in the in the computer until it that it's overheating and it shuts the whole oven down.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_04: It restarts it.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_04: So if you have the oven on, if you have a burner on, it's off.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_04: And then you have to set the clock until it started getting it.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, and then my front big burner just doesn't work anymore.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_04: And all air and I am a limited, like this has been going on for over six months.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_04: Like, and I'm like, I've been dealing with it, it's fine.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_04: But it occurred to me literally yesterday.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, oh, 4th of July weekend, there's gonna be deals.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, we're getting a stove.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_04: We're gonna get a stove.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_04: And I mean, it's this makes the most sense.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_04: We're gonna get a deal.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_04: There's probably gonna be 0% financing.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_04: This is what we're doing.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like making plans.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_04: I'm looking, I picked it out.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, oh, I don't cooking, I'm doing like move this plot to here, move this pot to here, because now I have to cook this one thing by itself.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_04: And then oh god.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_04: And then I was like, inform your partner.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_04: I want to buy a new stove this weekend.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_04: What?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_04: Come look at what I'm doing.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_03: There you go.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_03: See?
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_03: I need to inform me.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, but it's hard.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: It ain't natural.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: So what you're doing is responding to the stimuli of a sale, which is correct.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: You felt it probably in your gut that, like, yeah, this is it.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna do that.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_04: I'm definitely a leaper.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_04: Like when I yeah, I I think constantly, I know we've talked about this a lot because of many reasons, but there's like at least four different trains of thought running at a time, right?
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_04: There's always something working in the background, always.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_04: And when and I'm constantly um processing.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a complex, I'm a complex processor.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_04: So when I've processed, when like when the bar hits the end, the processing is done, I'm ready to make a decision.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_04: And I know it's right because I've done all the processing.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_04: Interesting.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_04: And so from the outside, people have often said, told me that I seem like, oh, you're you're so decisive.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_04: You're so good at making like when you when you know what you want, you do it.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, hmm.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_04: It takes a lot of work on the inside though, but I'm not once I've made that decision, I've already done the complex processing where people that are not complex processors, they'll say, Oh, okay, sure, we can do that.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_04: And then as they're going through that the next steps, they're processing the next the next steps of that situation.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_04: But it's probably makes me seem impulsive at times.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_04: But I also just love to make a decision.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: I so this is so fascinating to me.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: Let me walk you through this.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sharing my screen with you now.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: So Erin has three centers defined.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: She has the sacral center, the G center, and the throat.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: She is a manifesting generator.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: So she's got this manifesting generator channel of pathisma.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I've told you about this before.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of politicians have this, where it's this is called pure sacral power, this 34 gate, where it's just you have energy to drive forward.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: And when you are in the right moment, you have the energy to motivate others to move at the same time, like when the timing is right.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: But um, what's interesting to me is your gut is so strong, and that is where your intuition comes in.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: And what's interesting to me is you're talking about processing, which is this head and logic center up here, head and ajna, which for you is you're you have an open head and you have a gate 17 and gate four up in your ajna, but they're hanging, which means that there's no, basically they're both white.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: So what can happen, what I've seen happen with people who have open minds, is that you literally consider every option from every angle because you are taking in everybody else's.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: You have so many sources of inspiration.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I find that people who are, you know, pursuing spiritual, like spiritual gifts, if someone's, you know, reading up on mediumship or up on energy work or whatever, they get very it's hard for them when they read two conflicting sources that they love both of them because where we've been told to make decisions is up here in the logic, right?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: But actually, where you could you talk about making a quick decision, you could, your gut is designed to make an instant decision in the moment.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_04: And I think that like it's it's interesting to listening to you say like the mind is open.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_04: I consider all the anxious points.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_04: And so when I talk about complex processing and all those trains running at the same time, it's all the different performances.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_04: My brain plays out scenarios, it's right, and it is happening consciously and subconsciously.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_04: Like there's a running commentary in my brain while I'm speaking out loud to you.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_04: Like my brain's talking to me while I'm speaking out loud.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_04: Um but sometimes this is I I feel I suspect that I have a form of of kinesthesia and that Iesthesia.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_04: What did I say?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_03: Kinesthesia.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_03: Let me let me take that.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna edit that out.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: Someone said my G my G spot earlier today.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, I've got this open G spot, and I'm like, no, no, me.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, all right.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_04: I suspect that I have a form of synesthesia and not like I see color or see sounds.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_04: I feel things in my body.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_04: I can feel music physically.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_04: I can know where those sounds live in my body, and I this is so cool.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_02: We've talked about this before.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's um and you didn't know until No.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_04: So, like it just doesn't move people the way it moves you.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_04: No, and I, you know, I thought everyone was experiencing that.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_04: Oh I just sometimes feel sad for people who don't like experience things on volume 10 sometimes, because I sure do, but it's it's a loud and bright place to live, but it's also pretty freaking cool.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_04: But um but no, so I think about like I'm I can be sitting in a situation and I'll have a thought, what if this were to happen?
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_04: And it's like a flash memory, the whole scenario plays out in my head and I know what will happen in the world.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_04: And interesting.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_04: It doesn't happen all the time, but it happens sometimes.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_04: And now like laugh sometimes, like that'd be funny.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_04: But it's like I I don't know how fast it happens, it feels like a blink, but it then it's like okay, I have that memory stored.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_04: So if this happens, I know what will happen.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_04: Um I'm also if I'm worried about something or nervous about something, my process for dealing with that is to is to make a plan for the worst case scenario.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_04: And once I have a plan for the worst case scenario, everything else feels possible because it can't be as hard as that.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, I asked my therapist, is that bad?
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_04: No, that's like what they do for OC.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_04: No, she says, Are you spiraling?
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_04: Are you stuck in a loop of despair?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_04: I said, No, it makes me feel better.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, Okay, great.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it's um you're giving your brain food and your spleen.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly, you have an open or an undefined spleen too.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: You're giving them, so it means that your sense of safety and security is influenced by your environment or who's around you.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so it it does, it's not like a or what's healthy is inspired by what by who is around you.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um and it just you're just taking in information from other people, but where you get into trouble, or not into trouble, I guess, where what you're saying is when you confuse, or what your therapist is saying, honestly, is when you confuse those processes, these these reasoning, you know, things that are going on in your Rajna with your own, you know, perspective, like you're spiraling, you know, is what she called it.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you're you're remaining detached, you're allowing it to run.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_02: You're allowing it to run all the different scenarios without attaching to it and and making it yours.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Same with, and the plan is also satisfying this spleen because you have, you know, people who have an undefined spleen tend to hang on to things longer than they should because it feels safe and they like the consistent feeling of safety, you know.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: But what you should, what I would tell you if we were in our reading is that you do you have this incredible gut that is div that will never lead you wrong.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_04: I do know when it's time to change.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_04: I always have.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_04: And it's you know, it's now that I'm further along in my career and I'm there are young people in my life who are, you know, maybe getting back out of high school and then going into college.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_04: And I had some opportunities through my work for mentorship.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_04: I my I think my best advice I ever give people is do not be afraid to change your mind.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_04: Especially when you are 18, 22, 28, right?
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_04: You are still figuring out who you are, what lights you up, what you know brings you joy.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_04: And I feel like we're so stuck in this culture of you have to do what you said you were going to do.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_04: When I grow up, I want to be.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I just sat through my daughter's kindergarten graduation, and at the end, they had every child say, My name is meant.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_04: When I grow up, I want to be a and yeah, boy, isn't it cool when some when they have a video of someone saying, I want to be a teacher when they're five, and then they become a teacher.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, it's cool for that one slideshow, right?
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_04: But that's a generator.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's like someone who wants to who you what you were saying is like literally the perspective of a manifesting generator who has a million passions and a million different things that they want to do.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_04: I I also like I think it's something that I notice is when people don't fully understand something you do or something you are passionate about, they try to define it for themselves by making it smaller.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_04: So for example, like oh, your your um let me think of an example.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_04: So I'll just use myself.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, I have a degree in musical theater and I started my career as an actor, and as I continued to grow and change and my priorities shifted, and I found different things that lit me up.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_04: I have moved into arts administration and now I am in charge of regional theater and I love what I do.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_04: And so I've been asked by you know him, oh, so are you just not acting anymore?
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_04: So you're just not doing that anymore.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_04: So you're yeah, that's the worst thing.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_02: So you're just people will tell you when you're when you're getting an acting degree, like if you can do anything else, and you're like, I can't do anything.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what are you supposed to do?
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm in the wrong place.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't spend all this time auditioning and trying to find myself.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like, when are you gonna be on Broadway?
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_03: When are you gonna be on TV?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_04: And it's right.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_04: And I mean, you know, and I give young people this advice too.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_04: Like, you are not one thing.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_04: People will try to tell you you're one thing, but you're not.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_04: If everyone was one thing, it'd be pretty stinking boring.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_04: So be many things, and maybe I'm giving that advice just from my own perspective, but I think it's good advice.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_04: Like, don't be afraid to be many things.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: Multipassionate is what is literally what you're right.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and you're supposed to.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: You're supposed to give your perspective.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: And that's sort of the same principle of human design in that, like, you you take in someone's energy and reflect it back to them, and then they evolve.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: We all evolve that way.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_02: You and I both have undefined solar plexuses, and so when we feel like someone's having some feelings and it feels very alive in us, and we're like, what's wrong with you?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: Then people will not see that as a gentle reflection of their own behavior.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_02: They will see that as you being unreasonable because you are experiencing their emotions at an amplified amplified, some might say amplified to rock volume.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_04: I um I I love listening to people speak about something they are great at that I know nothing about.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_04: I it makes me lean in hard.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_04: And I this gets to happen to me at work often because, you know, while I'm you know, pretty high up in my organization, there are yeah, you're a you're a boss.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_04: There are departments.
• 37:20
  unknown: Yeah.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_04: And and we'll have staff meetings and we'll get check-ins and like, well, I don't have anything for the group, but that and I you know encourage people, no, what are you working on?
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_04: And then I'll get a whole talk about these repairs done to our rigging system and the fly system, and and okay, tell me why the repair is needed.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_04: Well, when it was first built, it was like this, and this is the counter weights off, and this is and and I'm fascinated by it.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_04: I can't know these things, right?
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_04: There's not enough space in my brain to know what the arbor well is and the fly system.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what that is.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_04: No, I had no idea.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_04: But and that's that's good.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_04: I shouldn't have to know what that is.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_04: That's not my job.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_04: But I have people that I work with who do know what it is, and they and I just love hearing people talk about it.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_02: I wonder if that's a trait that's common in manifesting generators because you on some level are always looking for your next passion, like the thing that is so your life is less, I say it's like a less like um a path and more like a scavenger hunt because you talk about going from music theater to arts administration, but in between that, there was, I mean, I was what I was there for.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you like managed a coffee joint.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_02: You you were you were getting insurance qualifications and you were getting, I mean, you have a licensed insurance agent in the state in one state.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_04: I uh sold gadgets at a state fair.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_04: I uh hustler get get things done.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you're you you can find and and each one of those.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I say it's like a it's like a scavenger hunt, not a straight line.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: But each one of those, as manifesting generators, you shouldn't be afraid to move on because what has happened is you've gotten what you need from that.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so then you're making space for something else.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you learned, I know you'd rather chew rocks than sell, but you learned the important trademark, trademark trademark.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sorry, I didn't TM that.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, like I've heard her say to no less than 15 people that she would rather chew rocks than sell things.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_02: I hate it for a living or convince other people.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like, but um, I know, but so it I wonder if that curiosity, that sort of open, and you also have an open mind.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: So you can take in sources from all over around you.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_02: But I wonder if manifesting generators tend to be a little more curious because there is that when you hook into something and then you become passionate about it for a hot minute, or for you know, come back to it.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, because that's what it is.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you talk about doing what you love, that is what is alignment for you.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: That is fulfillment for you, is doing what lights you up, you know, and so it ever each one of these lit you up at one point, and they all taught you insurance.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sure, I mean, you had three monitors.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_02: Remember when that was like God, I remember going to your office and being late, you have three, three monitors.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_02: And like you would stay after work for business.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, you were not getting paid for it.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_02: No, but speaking of optimizing, so manif another thing manifesting generators do.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_02: Well, God, I have so many things I want to talk to you about that you mentioned, but like you are yes, ending what already is you are making that's another, that's an improv term.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_02: You are making things evolve just by, and so that's where the manifestor comes in.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_02: You're inspired by something.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's not like you're, you know, manifestors, pure manifestors are like it's like J.K.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_02: Rowling that was inspired by like wrote out Harry Potter and on that train, that's like her story, right?
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_02: That is a manifest.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_02: FridaColo is another manifestor.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, gets these downloads and has to get them out.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_02: So you've got a little bit of that in that you are meant to help humanity not stay satisfied or not stay safe, I guess, or stay complacent.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: You're moving us forward by yes, anding things and showing us that that we can push it the boundaries a little bit.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_02: But I wonder like, so okay, so we were going back to the curiosity thing and the switching, you know, from thing to thing to thing, but they all would you say that every job that you've done has taught you something that has made you on uh unequivocally uh qualified for what you do now.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, I yeah, I love I love learning new things.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_04: I love picking up skills that I can then access as needed.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, it certainly and and honestly, the more I know about all these departments in my job, the more informed decisions I can make, the more I can be helpful, the more I can it's increasing your perspective, it's increasing your view, it's strengthening, and then your gut informed, ultimately your gut is informing your decisions, but you but you have the experience.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, your brain can only picture what it's seen before.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: So, I mean, in terms of because I know you you, Erin, are a little black and white when it comes to what is right.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, she's staring me down, peeps.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_02: Is she is and she's wearing a black and white shirt.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I am.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm wearing like a grainish, a grayish green shirt.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_02: Because this is where we fit each other, is like, you know, your passion for things for all sorts of different things from politics, you know, she's helping run someone's campaign, and then she's you know doing an insurance thing, and then she's helping to run incredibly interested, incredibly interested in local politics.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and also just in helping and like in serving, and like you've got all these things that you and also in paper chains and in creating a good birth in event planning, uh like there and which is you know, never more.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, God, in Halloween costume making, you know, just the elaborate things that you take on and are so hyper passionate about for that season.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you made talk about the the things that you've made and then sort of moved on from that and not needed to stay in it.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_04: I so in college, I was earning a well, I did earn a BFA, and it was a real um so for those unfamiliar, when you're earning a a bachelor of fine arts, you're kind of in a conservatory track.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_04: Meaning are my requirements are very concentrated in my major, and then I had so many credits I had to take outside of my department.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_04: So I one of the courses I took to satisfy those outside the department things was called Quilts and Community.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_04: And it was once a week, three hours, and it was led by this.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_04: Ladies quilting group.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_04: And it was like teach me what you know.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_04: And it was talking about the history of quilting, and we learned how to quilt in this class.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_04: And did I get hyper focused on quilting for a good, you know, five years?
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, I did.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_04: How many quilt tops do I have that are unfinished right now in my garage?
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_04: Probably a lot.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_04: Four?
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_04: My husband laughs and he's like, You ever gonna finish those quilt?
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, one day.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_02: It ain't gonna be one is mine, I think.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_03: I finished yours, didn't I?
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't think so.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's my garage.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, no, no.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not, I'm not I don't ever expect you to finish it.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_04: It's what I think will happen is like, what I think will happen is I'll give it to like a quilting lady and be like, Can you finish this, please?
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_02: No, you know, what you'll do is you'll give it to my children and we're old and on the porch and we don't care anymore.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_02: And then we have the time, and then you'll quilt it and be like, It's your parents' marriage quilt.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_03: There you go.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_03: Happy marriage.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_02: But it's oh god, that's uh it's gore and you do it really well.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_04: I do I know how to do a lot of things.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_04: Right, that's a Manny Jen.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_04: In an amateur way.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not great at any one thing, but I I can do a lot of things okay.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_02: Would you say you but the the key of a manifesting gender is you also pick it up quick, you take it in quick, and then move on to the top.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a fast learner, I'm a very tactile learner.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_04: If I'm not doing it with my own hands, it will not go through.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like which pause for a second.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_02: Your design sense, this is like your hypersense that is part of what you're meant to give to the world, is touch.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh which means that I I mean, I'll read it to you clinically, but the sense that allows you to sensorily experience the information coming into you is touch, how people, food, things, words, for example, feel in your skin helps you identify whether or not they are good for you.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_04: And I my memory lives in my body.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_04: Like it is.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_04: I don't mean just muscle memory, but like physical.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, to say things in the same way I I feel music, in the same way I interesting.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_04: And if I'm struggling connecting with something, I'll start moving my hand in the way I want things to feel.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, right.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's very cool.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_02: I wonder if all set if I'll touch people feel that way.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's a very cool.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you experience the world through touches with them, which is why Yeah, I certainly do.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um give fantastic hugs, and that was really all you wanted during COVID.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_02: I remember when your husband gave like there were you got hugs in the birthday, he had like October of 2020.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_04: I was completely I was not doing well in the COVID times because I I am recharged by people.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_04: I like being around people, I like engaging with people, and and I was so depleted.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_04: And on my birthday, my husband asked of my dearest friends here in our town to come over with bring a blanket to put over your head.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, he had to tell everyone wear a mask, bring your own blanket, and come give Aaron a hug.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_04: And I had put a mask on my own blanket.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_04: And oh my god, I I was crying the whole day.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_04: It was so amazing.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_03: But it was it was amazing, and um yeah, you think about how touch like that was so gone there.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but I mean, and I'm I'm so grateful to have had my family with me and being able to touch someone every day, like so many people couldn't left alone, right?
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_04: Like I can't even imagine.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_04: I'm very grateful for what I did have, but um I I am not a person that is fulfilled by one person or one type of person.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I I love so many different kinds of people, and and I like to be out and experiencing things.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_04: So being locked in my house with my toddler and my baby and my husband.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_04: Like it was Well, that was an insane situation.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_04: It was the it felt so repetitive.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I which as a Manny Jen, that's like the number one thing.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like repetitive like so generators could do the same thing over and over and over.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_02: They just sort of like a spiral, they they go deeper and deeper and deeper.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_02: You are want to go wider and wider in like different places.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why you're talking about how you had to sort of learn as you get older, as you get wiser.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: That doesn't mean that you are flaky.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_03: But for I always think of poor little manifesting generator kids, like who's you're not sticking with soccer, you're not sticking with, you know, you're not and you and you do stick with it because you don't want to be a quitter.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_03: But then you get frustrated.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_04: Frustrated, you get angry and frustrated.
• 50:39
  unknown: I remember.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_04: I've always been really good at math.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_04: Math always came very easily to me, and I yeah.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_04: And I was doing math.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_04: Like, and so I'm going to art school.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I've got plenty of credits and everything I ever need to get into the school, right?
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_04: I'm doing fine.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_04: My senior year, I'm taking calculus in high school.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm doing it, and I'm doing it.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_04: And calculus is different for those of you who have.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_04: I've never I've never had to take it.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_04: I tell you, trigonometry is where it's at.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_04: That's the party.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_04: But um, I know I love trigonometry.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_04: But calculus is a different beast, and I was doing it, I was going fine.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_04: I got into college, I'm like, okay.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_04: And then I was like, I just I don't wanna.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_04: And I just stopped trying.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_04: I just stopped trying.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_04: And I remember I got a test bag from my teacher, and she just put a little post-it note on it, a little baby one, that said, Erin, how can I help you?
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_04: Are you okay?
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_04: And I I remember like stayed behind in class and just started sobbing.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_04: And she's like, what baby's?
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_04: I said, I don't want to do this anymore.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_04: And she's like, Okay, not the course.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_04: Do you want to draw it?
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, She's like, Okay, we're fine.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, oh, okay, is that okay?
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, of course it's fine.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_04: You don't need this course.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_04: And it was Okay, okay.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_04: So it's like the first time I quit something.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_04: I was 18 years old.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, God.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: So your parents must be generators or I mean, I would love to know.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_02: I would love to know too.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sitting here thinking, like, because I know both of them, and I'd love to know what your dad is.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_02: I think I could guess what your mom is, but I would love to know what your dad is.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_02: Just it would, I think it would help.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's just so much rich content in your parents who are both awesome people.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um so something I want to come back to, which I think is you're told in this, be told in this trigger this calculus story.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_02: So you talked about not hanging on to things because they feel safe.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_02: And that is like, I'll read what my software says so that you can take this and so it's not filtering through my own, you know, words.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_02: Do you you do you hold on to unhealthy people or things?
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_02: Your instinct and intuitive perception are influenced by energetic impulses of your environment.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_02: Your undefined spleen can make you more susceptible to external fears and worries.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_02: Perhaps you cling to people, habits, or things that are toxic to you because they offer some sort of security or familiarity.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_02: Regularly reflect on whether relationships are truly healthy and nourishing and learn to let go of what does not serve you well.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_02: Your great strength is a special sensitivity to the physical well-being and health of others, which I know is true because you're sensitive to me.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_02: But I would think, and I wrote this down earlier, it's interesting the dichotomy between having an undefined spleen and that sort of hanging on to things, plus the manifesting generator drive to do different things, to move on.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_02: I wonder how that shows up in your life.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_04: There's um I think physical, physical things, physical things from certain people, or that felt felt important or was uh turning point.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_04: I will hold on to physical things for a long time until I don't.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_04: And it is like a switch goes off.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_04: And I and certainly that what you just read, I would say has clarified as I've gotten older and it's easier to um to acknowledge that.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_04: I I am certainly someone that gives people benefit of the doubt immediately.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_04: I'm I will give you all of my trust until you show me you can't.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_04: I was gonna say, but if you doubt, then oh yeah, you're done.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_04: Like you're done.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_04: Now young me would would be like, you're dead to me, go eat glass.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_04: But like I, as I've gotten older and learning more about people and becoming a more patient person and just not caring as much.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, having to raise tiny humans to be like, yeah, that person made a bad decision that doesn't make them bad.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_04: That person who doesn't know what.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_04: Like I always quote to my children a line from Frozen, yes, I have children.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, I know.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_04: God, I love when you do this.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_04: People make bad choices when they're mad or scared or stressed.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_04: But throw a little love their way, uh-huh, and you'll bring out their best for each.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_04: And it's and I I I would say there's there is possibility in many people to have their best brought out, and um, yeah, but it's a line to walk, it is a line to walk because you have to have your own boundaries and you have to, and not all relationships are meant to last forever, and that's fine.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_04: It doesn't have to be yeah, that's a bullet.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_02: That's a learning for for you is an un undefined, and you've got some gates in here.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_02: So it's not like you have, you know, when this is defined for you, there's a there's a sense of knowing how to nurture something with that gate 50.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_02: There's a sense of, well me, just look at these in 32, recognizing the value of things or people, this 44 ability to draw lessons from the past and understand why patterns should be repeated.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_02: I actually wonder if your husband helps with this because he's so defined and gives you that sense of physical safety.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, because you're talking about your body is what remembers, you know, what you're doing is sort of acknowledging as you're getting older that things are conditional to the environment in which they were experienced.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, you're allowing that feeling of this person being unsafe, this person not, you know, to flow through you, but you're you've got it almost like a sense memory.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_04: Well, and what's in your body.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_04: I remember my dreams, and they are so clear and vivid that they my dreams often feel like a memory.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_04: And I have to really check myself to say, did that happen or was that a dream?
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_04: And especially as I've gotten older, my work life has gotten more hectic, I dream about really boring mundane things that are happening in my real life.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, oh dang, did that grant come through or was that a dream?
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_04: Like, what a boring dream, right?
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_04: Um but I was just thinking as you were saying that, do my dreams feel like memories?
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_04: Because even in my subconscious, you're I'm living out these things and it's imprinting in my body, like it's you're feeling it's there.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_04: My body has the memory because it that scenario was felt in my dream, right?
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, so you've experienced sensation in your dreams then.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_04: That's cool.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_04: I can also be woken up and go back to the same dream.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_04: I can Woo! That's a superpower.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_04: And it's it's not all.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_02: I wonder it's because your body is still in it.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_04: It is, and I I have to like be like, and I'll hear something, I'll wake up, like an answer question, and be like, okay, I want to see what happens next.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_04: It's not I can't control my dreams.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_04: I can't, I'm not sure.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's not ISO dreaming, yeah.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_04: No, I say I want to, I just I want to see what what happens next.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_04: Well, and it but it's very I don't I can't tell you if I am watching myself from above.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_04: I can't tell you if I'm looking out of my own eyes.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know, but I know what I feel in my body.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's interesting.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_04: Mm-hmm.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_04: Like I I can't tell you what I picture.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_04: It's all physical, it's all physical sensation and how the things are happening or the people I'm I'm encountering in the dream are making me feel.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_02: And it's wow.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because what's interesting, like I when I have dreams like that, and that's by the way, you know, people who are well, I'm not gonna excuse our neurodivergence, but we we talk by comparing experiences.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's us trying to relate to each other.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna bring in what I feel now too, but go for it.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I have outer vision as my super sense, and I have vivid images from my dreams that I will like vivid pattern, like high level, I can tell you what someone was wearing in the dream.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so I wonder if and like you go into you know, a different level of consciousness when you're dreaming, and I wonder if this sense carries to both sides of it.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like I wonder if that's why I can, I don't always remember the context or whatever, but I remember the exact image.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and you can remember the exact feel.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's a difference when you get sort of visitations and whatever, because that's just a whole other level.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I think there's probably lots of details to remember in that, but I that's so fascinating to me that that you would have this sort of super consciousness in this area of your design sense.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know if this is a is I just hopped in my head, so I'm gonna say it.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_04: My daughter had her dance recital last week, and we have to do a slick slick back bun.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_04: And so pulled out my old LA looks to get that that gelled down hair.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_04: LA looks like it super crunchy.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_04: And um, so the last night of her dance recital, hair's all crunchy, goes to bed, and it was Saturday the next morning, and we had some stuff going on, and she's like, I don't want to take a shower, I don't want to do that.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_04: Let me just wash your hair.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_04: I'll wash your hair in the sink.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_04: And my my daughter is named after my great-grandmother, who's very, very important person in my life.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_04: And I knew her until I was 14 years old, great-grandmother.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_04: And anytime I'd go to her house, we'd get my sister and I would go there for sleepovers all the time, and we'd and she would always wash our hair, no matter how old we were.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_04: She would, she'd say, Go take your bath and then I'll wash your hair.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_04: Like, and I said, Grandma, I can take a shower.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_04: Like, it's fine.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, No, no, I'll wash your hair in the sink.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_04: And so I set up, I set up this chair.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, I'll wash your hair, get the gel out.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm my daughter in the kitchen, and I've got her propped up and her head hanging over the edge of the counter.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_04: And I I can feel the sink, that my grandma's sink.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_04: I can feel what it felt like.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I can like wow.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_04: I was like, oh like, and I can feel the way the the I'm like, and my daughter is just like loving it.
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, isn't this the best?
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_04: Having someone wash your hair.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, yeah.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_04: It's so relaxing.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I know.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, she's reflecting back what you're feeling.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm like, yeah.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_02: She's also a touch person.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_02: She's also a touch person.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_04: She is, she very much is.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_04: But um but wow, that's I like access that memory that I hadn't, you know, hadn't thought about in a long time.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_04: And it was just like, I'm doing this.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I know how your neck feels right now.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_04: I know exactly how it feels.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_02: Huh.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's cool.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess if I can think about it, I mean, because there's other ones.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_02: There's, you know, inner vision, which is about envisioning things, there's smell, taste.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I wonder if each of these are super senses in terms of you know, different levels of consciousness, like memories or different, you know, dreaming.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's just so fascinating to me.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_04: When my my sister one year lives very far away from me, I don't get to see her often, but one year we came together and she brought me a birthday present and it was a bottle of perfume.
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_04: It's this like old lady perfume bottle.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, what is this?
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, thank you.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_04: She's like, She's like, no, no, smell it.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_04: I took a smell of that perfume.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_04: I burst into tears, could hardly speak.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_04: It was my grandma.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, I'm like, how did you find this?
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_04: Like, how did you know what it was?
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_04: And she says, one of our cousins, who she had seen recently, he just like mentioned out of the blue, oh yeah, when when grandma died, you know, when when my grandparents, my great grandparents passed away, we all the great grandchildren were, you know, allowed to pick something we wanted to take.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_04: And I took a the quilt that laid on their bed, and I still have my favorite blanket to this day.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_04: But my cousin, who's one year younger than me, he took her perfume.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_04: Stop.
• 1:04:00
  SPEAKER_04: And he's like, Oh no, I I have grandma's perfume.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, what?
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_04: What is it called?
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_04: And she's like, Oh yeah.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_04: And and so now we all have a bottle of it.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_04: And I smell that, and then I'm right back.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_04: I'm right back in that woman's kitchen.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_04: So you feel her then.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_04: So you smell it, but then you feel it's all there.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_04: I know how the car the shag carpeting feels on my feet.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_04: I know how that that scratchy couch in the den feels.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh.
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_04: I was spending the night and I was like, have like gotten out of my bed and I like went into the den like late.
• 1:04:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:04:37
  SPEAKER_04: And I was watching TV because like, why not?
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_04: And and I fell asleep on the couch and I woke up in the middle of the night and the TV was on, and I was panicked.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_04: Turn it off.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_04: I go into my bed, go to sleep.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_04: Next morning, I'm sitting down having breakfast with her, and I'm like, I have to tell you something.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 1:04:57
  SPEAKER_04: I thought that having the TV on that long would like cost her a lot of money.
• 1:05:02
  SPEAKER_04: It would be like like a you know, leaving a faucet running all night.
• 1:05:08
  SPEAKER_04: I left the TV on and I was devastated.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_04: And she just laughed.
• 1:05:17
  SPEAKER_02: Erin had a a Everybody Makes Mistake song when she was little because she could not handle the uh, and actually let's see if this is this gate.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_02: You you have so you have a gate 58, which is in your root.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_02: You feel the pressure to improve and correct everything that hinders society from achieving and maintaining well-being and health.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_02: This explains your boldness, join, enthusiasm to challenge the norm and those behind it always seeking a better way.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_02: But the other side of this is in this thing, which you don't have to find.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_02: So you're always seeking this, is the instinct of like it's called the perfectionism gate.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_02: So you're perfecting and in what to actually do about it.
• 1:05:56
  SPEAKER_02: So you're just stuck with this drive to make things better, to like not right.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_02: So, like you're seeking that finishing of okay, what do I do?
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_02: It just is so upsetting and it's so so much pressure in your body, you know.
• 1:06:11
  SPEAKER_04: I've never been able to tell a lie.
• 1:06:13
  SPEAKER_04: I can't do it.
• 1:06:14
  SPEAKER_04: I could have just not said anything, you know.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_04: But no, it was like gonna kill me if I didn't say it out loud.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_04: There's one time when I was a kid, we were a station wagon family, and yeah, and riding in the trunk.
• 1:06:27
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah, you know it backwards riding in the trunk.
• 1:06:30
  SPEAKER_04: And our second station wagon, which we got, which was a big deal, it was fancy, it was a Buick Roadmaster, it was maroon and had the fake wood paneling on the sides.
• 1:06:42
  SPEAKER_04: I can just I can smell it right now.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_04: It was like it was something.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_04: And I was I grew up in a neighborhood where kids we were just on our bikes all the time.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_04: And and where we I put my bike away, I would bring my bike into the garage between the two cars, and I would wheel it to the front of the garage.
• 1:06:59
  SPEAKER_04: That's where my bike.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_04: And one day I'm bringing putting my bike away and my rubber handlebar rubbed against the wood paneling on the side of the station wagon and peeled it.
• 1:07:10
  SPEAKER_04: Because you know, it's just like yeah, it's like it's still cling on.
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right, exactly.
• 1:07:16
  SPEAKER_04: It's like drawer tape.
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_04: And it like peeled it.
• 1:07:18
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, oh god.
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_04: And I put my bike away.
• 1:07:22
  SPEAKER_04: I was gonna say anything.
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know what happened.
• 1:07:25
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like in the house having a nervous breakdown, and and I remember my dad came in from outside and he says, Does anyone know what happened in the side of the station wagon?
• 1:07:35
  SPEAKER_04: Like, oh my god.
• 1:07:35
  SPEAKER_04: Not mad, just curious.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_04: I lasted about a half a second.
• 1:07:41
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my god.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_04: Like I couldn't, I can't.
• 1:07:47
  SPEAKER_02: That's so let's so the last thing I want to look at here is your is your left if is your incarnation cross because it talks about purpose.
• 1:07:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I wonder if this is tied in here.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_02: So I think I read this to you, and we can also read it.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_02: So this has to do with the collective.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_02: When you have a left angle cross, yours is of limitation.
• 1:08:09
  SPEAKER_02: Left angle means that it's more um transpersonal, so it's not about you, it's about the collective.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_02: So putting the welfare of the people around you in like is part of who you are.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_02: But you came to this world to show others the boundaries they need to consider in terms of what is possible based on your entrepreneurial wisdom and your ability to evaluate products that are practical and successful, proving themselves over time, which provides people, your people with stability and security.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_02: Ironic, because you don't have a consistent sense of security that is, you know, in your body, but you create that for people.
• 1:08:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I do it's important to me.
• 1:08:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:08:54
  SPEAKER_02: And you I mean, you talk about teaching boundaries.
• 1:08:58
  SPEAKER_02: My God, I've learned so many boundaries from you.
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_02: So many.
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's I mean, let me and I'm gonna read it and you can see how this shows up in your life.
• 1:09:10
  SPEAKER_02: You can tell the people how this shows up in your life.
• 1:09:13
  SPEAKER_04: If they're still listening, I don't know if they're still gonna listen.
• 1:09:16
  SPEAKER_04: Are you listening?
• 1:09:17
  SPEAKER_04: You're fascinated.
• 1:09:19
  SPEAKER_04: Listen, you're fascinating.
• 1:09:21
  SPEAKER_04: As my therapist says, Don't apologize for talking.
• 1:09:24
  SPEAKER_04: Say thank you for listening.
• 1:09:25
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so thank you for listening.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for listening.
• 1:09:29
  SPEAKER_02: We appreciate your patience.
• 1:09:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, left angle cross of limitation is a transpersonal cross focused on survival, preservation, and structure.
• 1:09:39
  SPEAKER_02: So it governs a need to establish boundaries for yourself and others to conserve energy, foster stability, and clean up inherited karmic cycles.
• 1:09:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's strange.
• 1:09:48
  SPEAKER_02: Any of this resonating with you?
• 1:09:52
  SPEAKER_04: What I'm thinking about is I think I I am drawn to helping people set boundaries and helping people preserve themselves to be able to do what they should be doing, you know, to do not what they should be doing, but to do what what really lights them up, right?
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_04: What's gonna give you that dopamine, right?
• 1:10:19
  SPEAKER_04: And what's funny is I get you know feedback from people so much, like are you saving enough energy for yourself?
• 1:10:27
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
• 1:10:28
  SPEAKER_04: Like it's fine.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_04: I'm yeah, I am uh I'll do something for someone and then but if they'll offer to do it for me, I'm like, no, no, that's too much.
• 1:10:40
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, I I think that's go ahead.
• 1:10:44
  SPEAKER_04: No, my my nearest and dearest are like, Erin.
• 1:10:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, shut up.
• 1:10:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and stop.
• 1:10:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, so so for generators, the trap is the the conditioning of you have this energy.
• 1:10:58
  SPEAKER_02: You are a guardian of life force energy.
• 1:11:01
  SPEAKER_02: You have been gifted with this full battery every morning, and really your job is to be discerning in how you use it.
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_02: But generators, because of societal norms, have been if someone asks you for something and you have the energy, it feels like you're a monster if you don't do it, even if it's against your gut, or even if it's and that has to do with it's not about you wanting to do it or not.
• 1:11:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's about is it correct use of my energy to do this?
• 1:11:31
  SPEAKER_02: Your gut will tell you every time.
• 1:11:33
  SPEAKER_02: And if it's like, and you're so one of the things it does is uh-huh, uh-uh, uh-huh, mm-mm.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's what your gut will tell you.
• 1:11:42
  SPEAKER_02: And that and generators typically have, or not typically, I guess, but I found that women generators will override the uh-uh to or like take that, uh, is like okay, I have the energy to do this.
• 1:11:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'll just do it.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_02: Why what kind of person wouldn't do this?
• 1:12:00
  SPEAKER_02: And you move past that, and what happens is you get frustrated, frustration, because you've spent your energy in a way that doesn't light you up.
• 1:12:09
  SPEAKER_02: You've just spent all of it.
• 1:12:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's what you're talking about in terms of you know, the amount of things you volunteer for.
• 1:12:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're a helper.
• 1:12:18
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a helper, I'm a helper, and I am it's funny, I people encounter me, and I for various reasons, I don't drink caffeine.
• 1:12:34
  SPEAKER_04: People encounter me, and when they learn that I don't drink caffeine, they're shocked.
• 1:12:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they're shocked.
• 1:12:41
  SPEAKER_04: How are you this?
• 1:12:43
  SPEAKER_04: And I like to like like literally being around people and working with people is like a cup of coffee to me.
• 1:12:50
  SPEAKER_04: And I if I'm in flow state and we are making something, creating something, or or being something that lights you up.
• 1:13:00
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:13:01
  SPEAKER_04: I don't get tired, I don't get Bruno, I can go forever.
• 1:13:05
  SPEAKER_02: And that is in particular manifesting generators, because you have the most possible energy of any type.
• 1:13:13
  SPEAKER_02: You I mean, you can really light it up, and the more it like energy begets, it's kind of it's like a bonfire.
• 1:13:20
  SPEAKER_02: The brighter you burn, the more like it's just you know what I mean.
• 1:13:24
  SPEAKER_02: The more you add to it, the sparks, the bright, the brighter it burns.
• 1:13:29
  SPEAKER_04: I've been with my partner now for 18 years, and he is not that way.
• 1:13:35
  SPEAKER_04: Um, which is funny.
• 1:13:37
  SPEAKER_04: We I mean, our whole relationship, you know, you know, back when we were young people and went to parties all the time, we go to party, he would hit the wall and be like, I'm done.
• 1:13:47
  SPEAKER_04: I have to go home.
• 1:13:49
  SPEAKER_04: And I would say, bye.
• 1:13:52
  SPEAKER_04: I am not going, I cannot go home yet.
• 1:13:55
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:13:56
  SPEAKER_04: Like, well, it's not lighting him up.
• 1:13:58
  SPEAKER_04: Happening.
• 1:13:58
  SPEAKER_04: And and it's funny because people would be like, You're not gonna go with him.
• 1:14:01
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, no, I'm an adult person and I'm having a great time.
• 1:14:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and and but like I think what's really made our relationship work is that we allow each other to be exactly that.
• 1:14:13
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, he's not being a party pooper, and I'm not being whatever you're allowing yourself to be and to fulfill he's satisfied with how his energies go into bed and feel it and not feeling frustrated, you know.
• 1:14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Because God, talk about a bad way to go home.
• 1:14:31
  SPEAKER_02: You'd be frustrated and angry.
• 1:14:35
  SPEAKER_03: If I was like, wait for me.
• 1:14:36
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not can we leave in two hours?
• 1:14:38
  SPEAKER_03: Wait for me.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_02: And then he he miserable or gosh, but your husband, uh I mean, he's got like we could talk in this is a whole other episode of nine things of mind.
• 1:14:51
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 1:14:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like he is he is who he is consistently.
• 1:14:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yep, there is not different versions of that man, right?
• 1:15:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's also fascinating to me, which is fascinating that you have that and a reflector who is so many versions in the same house.
• 1:15:10
  SPEAKER_04: That is two people butt heads.
• 1:15:12
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 1:15:13
  SPEAKER_02: Wild.
• 1:15:13
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it depends.
• 1:15:14
  SPEAKER_02: I was just thinking about this earlier today.
• 1:15:16
  SPEAKER_02: I was thinking about how it would also really depend on how this your husband feels about himself at the time, how he would feel about her.
• 1:15:26
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's literally it's a reflection.
• 1:15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:15:29
  SPEAKER_02: And if it's the best qualities, then probably, you know, it's just so interesting to me that you have one of each.
• 1:15:39
  SPEAKER_02: But anyway, thank you for being here.
• 1:15:41
  SPEAKER_02: Normally I would ask, you know, where to find you, but where you're in a woman of mystery.
• 1:15:50
  SPEAKER_02: But if you want to find her, talk to me.
• 1:15:52
  SPEAKER_02: I don't put you in.
• 1:15:53
  SPEAKER_02: She knows where I am.
• 1:15:54
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, I got ahead.
• 1:15:57
  SPEAKER_02: In my house.
• 1:15:58
  SPEAKER_02: I was gonna say you'll be in my house soon.
• 1:16:00
  SPEAKER_04: I feel like you're when we get there, you're just gonna be staring at my daughter.
• 1:16:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm gonna be wondering.
• 1:16:06
  SPEAKER_02: What are you doing?
• 1:16:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, because I'm gonna just gonna ask her.
• 1:16:09
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, so many questions, but she's probably got so much wisdom.
• 1:16:12
  SPEAKER_02: I can't wait to just has she ever said anything really wise about like just the way things are in a certain place or just insightful?
• 1:16:26
  SPEAKER_04: She is I've been trying to help her find her voice.
• 1:16:32
  SPEAKER_04: She is not one to elaborate, she is not one to she's constantly observing, right?
• 1:16:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, right.
• 1:16:39
  SPEAKER_04: And and um, you know, how was your day?
• 1:16:44
  SPEAKER_04: Good.
• 1:16:46
  SPEAKER_04: What did you have for lunch?
• 1:16:47
  SPEAKER_04: I don't remember.
• 1:16:49
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 1:16:50
  SPEAKER_04: Did anything really exciting happen today?
• 1:16:52
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 1:16:54
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, like she's she's processing, she's sampling those things.
• 1:16:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so their strategy where yours is to respond, mine is to wait for the invitation, hers is wait a lunar cycle.
• 1:17:10
  SPEAKER_04: She is a person, slow decision maker.
• 1:17:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:17:12
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a person that needs constant change.
• 1:17:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh my god, yeah.
• 1:17:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like make a call.
• 1:17:18
  SPEAKER_02: You have that gut.
• 1:17:19
  SPEAKER_02: She doesn't have that.
• 1:17:21
  SPEAKER_04: And I and sometimes it's this morning, it was she didn't know what to wear, and she needed me to help her.
• 1:17:27
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, go put on clothes.
• 1:17:28
  SPEAKER_04: I'm getting in the shower, go put in clothes, go put on clothes.
• 1:17:31
  SPEAKER_02: She wanted your energy to melt down.
• 1:17:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:17:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:17:36
  SPEAKER_04: So that was fun.
• 1:17:37
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe that was her asking seriously to borrow your gut.
• 1:17:41
  SPEAKER_02: Because then she could be able to understand yes, no.
• 1:17:44
  SPEAKER_02: But for her, it's takes long to make decisions.
• 1:17:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so, like when she's in her own energy.
• 1:17:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:17:49
  SPEAKER_02: That is so I you're right.
• 1:17:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be staring at her and she's gonna run run away from me and be like, hey, where's the candy?
• 1:17:57
  SPEAKER_02: Where's oh my god, can I have a snack?
• 1:18:00
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:18:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, whatever.
• 1:18:02
  SPEAKER_04: Of course you can, little one.
• 1:18:03
  SPEAKER_04: Um baby.
• 1:18:04
  SPEAKER_04: Well, but like she's she if she doesn't see someone she knows very well for you know a week or two, and then she sees them, it's like back to square one.
• 1:18:14
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'm not talking to you, I don't know you.
• 1:18:16
  SPEAKER_04: So, but in a really shy when we get there, and I'm wondering how long it'll take for her to get back to, you know, well, she might have been in a different energy.
• 1:18:28
  SPEAKER_02: She might have been in a different energy when she met the person and perceived them differently based on what was what her energy was like.
• 1:18:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so what she needs is to see someone over and over and get the whole scope of who they are to then feel comfortable.
• 1:18:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's so cool.
• 1:18:49
  SPEAKER_03: That is so cool.
• 1:18:52
  SPEAKER_03: All right, I love you.
• 1:18:53
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna I love you.
• 1:18:54
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for letting me talk.
• 1:18:56
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for being here.
• 1:18:57
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, thanks for inviting me to talk.
• 1:18:59
  SPEAKER_02: You're so welcome.
• 1:19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for inviting me to read your chart.
• 1:19:05
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for inviting my knowledge.
• 1:19:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I love it.
• 1:19:08
  SPEAKER_02: I know, me too.
• 1:19:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's so that's God, I I it doesn't get old.
• 1:19:12
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't get old to me at all ever.
• 1:19:15
  SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, sphere just makes it even more profound when it's you know, like, oh yeah, and this is because of their lineage.
• 1:19:20
  SPEAKER_02: And this is because of, you know, like God, the amount of like like I was thinking while you were talking about your great grandmother in terms of signs she would send you, it would be more things that would trigger feelings and her presence than something you see or numbers, or you know what I mean?
• 1:19:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's a feeling because that's your sense.
• 1:19:43
  SPEAKER_02: It would be hair washing.
• 1:19:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like I I remember washing your hair when you broke your, and it was a huge, it was like you were like, I love this.
• 1:19:53
  SPEAKER_02: I love when people watch it.
• 1:19:54
  SPEAKER_02: I love it, I love it so much.
• 1:19:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:19:55
  SPEAKER_03: And it's what did I break that time?
• 1:19:57
  SPEAKER_03: What happened?
• 1:19:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you were doing something on stage, and I laughed my ass off at it, and you were like, No, really, it didn't look like anything.
• 1:20:05
  SPEAKER_02: I think you were like doing the running man or something.
• 1:20:07
  SPEAKER_02: It was something so and you snapped your calf or your calf.
• 1:20:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like you're like, oh god, it was awful.
• 1:20:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I was meanwhile laughing, like Oh, yeah.
• 1:20:21
  SPEAKER_02: It was hilarious.
• 1:20:22
  SPEAKER_02: I think we're just trying to do like a shuffle, and then you're like, Oh, I hopped.
• 1:20:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I hopped an inch off the ground and tore my calf muscle in half.
• 1:20:31
  SPEAKER_04: And while you were visiting me, so talented, so far.
• 1:20:36
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I'm an athlete, is what I'm really trying to say.
• 1:20:38
  SPEAKER_04: Um you are well, you are an athlete or athletic.
• 1:20:42
  SPEAKER_04: You are, but like dad.
• 1:20:45
  SPEAKER_04: A year let's see, it was a year before that.
• 1:20:49
  SPEAKER_04: I tore my rotator cuff, shaking a bed sheet out of the laundry.
• 1:20:53
  SPEAKER_04: Well, that was because of that horse.
• 1:20:54
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm an athlete.
• 1:20:56
  SPEAKER_03: No, it was my good shoulder.
• 1:20:57
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, oops.
• 1:21:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 1:21:00
  SPEAKER_03: Athlete over here.
• 1:21:01
  SPEAKER_03: Watch out, world.
• 1:21:03
  SPEAKER_03: We're art people.
• 1:21:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's fine.
• 1:21:06
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 1:21:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that was fun.
• 1:21:10
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for being here.
• 1:21:11
  SPEAKER_02: If you find yourself wanting to be in the hot seat to know more about your design, to connect to your spirit team so you can feel grounded and confident in who you are.
• 1:21:21
  SPEAKER_02: Please feel free to check out my website, www.humandesignmedium.com backslash readings.
• 1:21:27
  SPEAKER_02: I've got programs, I've got plans, I've got a free design calculator, all yours to use when you visit.
• 1:21:33
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, you are unconditionally loved, supported, and cherished by spirit.
• 1:21:38
  SPEAKER_02: You are who and how you're meant to be.
• 1:21:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just here to help you see yourself more clearly.
• 1:21:45
  SPEAKER_02: How's that for a Midwestern goodbye?