Latest / Voices for Voices® / When You Can't Fix It Anymore | Episode 514

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When You Can't Fix It Anymore | Episode 514 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much for joining us today on this episode of a podcast.
• 0:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, we're grateful to have each and every one of you with us.
• 0:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you can give us a thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, repost, reshare, and even reach into your phone uh in uh let 25 year contacts know about the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We greatly appreciate that.
• 0:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you again.
• 0:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're over uh 510 episodes going strong.
• 0:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And it's because of you.
• 0:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're the reason why we have a show, you're the reason why we continue to have a show, and uh you're the reason we uh wake up in the morning and do what we do because we're helping people.
• 1:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh that huge goal is to help uh reach and help at least three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 1:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're well on our way to doing.
• 1:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So um thank you very much.
• 1:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um very much appreciated.
• 1:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So this episode is gonna be pretty rough here.
• 1:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um, you know, we talk about asking for help, needing help.
• 1:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What do we do?
• 1:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And there's no cookie cutter answer uh where we're able just to pull out a handbook or uh a laminated card in our wallet or a purse and and say, okay, if I do this one thing, if I see somebody in need, I say this, I text it, I email, then everything's gonna be just just fine.
• 2:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And while it would be nice if it was like that, it'd also be nice if uh life in general was like that, uh where we could you know open up a manual and be able to have the right answer for every situation, everything that we're doing.
• 2:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that's just not the case.
• 2:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, there are some books, tips, tricks, all that, yeah.
• 2:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you have some of that going on, but when we really get down into situations, it's not that easy, and sometimes there's not really great choices of being able to solve a concern that is going on.
• 3:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I I bring this from you know, love and support from me to you, to anybody watching, listening, to anyone who has ever watched or listened to our show or tuned in and joined us at any of our events, and that's heartbreaking, it really is.
• 4:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It it really is because like for me, you know, there's different ways to what you know, group our attributes in our mind.
• 4:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like me, I'm a fixer.
• 4:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If I see some and and I've and I know how to fix it, I'm gonna try to fix it.
• 4:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But that's where I come from and this this level.
• 4:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Trying to fix a situation.
• 4:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And it doesn't again doesn't mean that I'm the best person to do so.
• 5:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's just I'm a fixer, so I like to fix things, and it is very it's very hard when there's no easy choices, there's no easy fix where we can again reach into our pockets or purses, and we we look at it and and we see oh, okay.
• 5:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you recite these words in this particular order, you will fix every problem.
• 5:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It doesn't work like that.
• 5:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We all know that life doesn't work like that, especially when we talk about loved ones people in fan uh in families where we just want to we want to help, we want to fix, we we want everything just to be okay Especially when there's children involved When you have children involved it takes it takes it to a whole a whole new level of fact just family in general because everybody's you know seeing if we can come up with different ideas, different solutions.
• 7:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But in the end, it is the individual that has to want the behavior to change, no matter how hard we want behavior to change, it's gotta be that person, you know.
• 7:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I look back on the time for me leading into November twenty seventeen when I went into the hospital, it was scary, was even scarier to try to handle things on my own.
• 8:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was crying out for help, but I didn't know what help looked like, what it felt like because again, there's just there's just no handbook.
• 8:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So many different doctors tried so many different things, and it wasn't until I just I gave in.
• 8:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I just wanted fixed, and while I wasn't fixed then, and I'm not fixed now, what has changed at least a little bit is my perspective because I know that I can't fix every situation, every every challenge.
• 9:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know there's so many of you watching and listening.
• 9:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Asking for help is a hard thing to do.
• 9:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's one of the hardest things to do in life.
• 9:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I have I need some help.
• 9:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's not the easiest thing to say.
• 9:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why? 'Cause society, society, no matter what anybody says or thinks still doesn't look at mental health as health.
• 10:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Which it is.
• 10:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Mental health is just part of our health.
• 10:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And a stigma's still out there.
• 10:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've just done a couple of episodes not too long ago about a healthcare company, about a pharmacy.
• 10:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if I hadn't like banged down the doors to get a hold of people, to make something happen, to get my medications have been taking for years, I could have just given up.
• 11:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's what some people do.
• 11:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because when you're in that state of mind and you're in that no man's land, let's call it of we want help and then we reach out and we got this prescription, and then up, can't be filled because it needs this prior authorization form that neither you nor your provider, psychiatrist, therapist knew that you needed to fill out.
• 11:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So the days just go by.
• 11:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'll tell you when the days were getting closer to me being in a hospital, the last thing I wanted to do was to be on the phone with somebody because I had tried so many people, so many different ways to get help, but again, I didn't no matter what, I I I I don't I I didn't want to think it was mental related, and right there, that's called stigma.
• 12:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: However, once I whatever, you know, I said I swallow my pride, my ego, and just got got the help, are it's a work in progress for me, for you, for everybody across the world, every single day.
• 12:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Every single day.
• 13:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So while we think about well, how do we talk to an individual or about getting help and about you know potential destruction of a family?
• 13:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's gotta be that person.
• 13:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's gotta be.
• 22:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Do a chat there.
• 22:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I won't say there's a ton of resources, but what I will say is compared to ten years ago when I was kind of going through no when I was going through kind of the lowest of depths.
• 22:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There was no nine eight eight, there was no way to have a non-emergency crew come to the house, evaluate a person.
• 22:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There wasn't choices like that.
• 22:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I said a million times, I'll say it again.
• 23:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're an expert on yourself.
• 23:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Might take you a few counselors to find the right one for you.
• 23:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's okay.
• 23:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And counselors don't take offense to that.
• 23:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because they want a good fit, they want a long-term relationship.
• 23:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because, as you may or may not know, for each different doctor, therapist, whatever the designation is, for every new person like that, they may be able to look at notes from the prior provider, prior therapist.
• 24:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But one of the questions that makes a lot of people not want to go to therapy, go see psychiatrist, take medication, is tell me why you're here.
• 24:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What brings you here today?
• 24:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I understand it's supposed to be an icebreaker.
• 24:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I get it.
• 24:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But what the doc what the medical team and medical staff has to think about is more than likely that person has already told that story tens of times.
• 24:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that gets mentally exhausting.
• 25:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Then I think, well, what if I miss something?
• 25:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What if I miss I don't know, a certain area?
• 25:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I remember, I remember I was taking the ambulance to the hospital where I ended up being admitted.
• 25:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because I thought I was going to forget something.
• 25:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I said, I forget what I forget what the the thang or things were or are.
• 26:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because I like to f I I'd like to fit everything in that I can.
• 26:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if I omit something, not on purpose, just when our brains are burnt out, and on top of all the other things that were going on, I wanted to be sure that I covered everything that had been going on, the feelings, the symptoms, everything.
• 26:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thank you for joining us today on this episode.
• 26:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Not an easy episode for me or for you watching or listening.
• 27:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's a pretty grueling show.
• 27:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But a much needed show.
• 27:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we're saying extra prayers for a lot of people.
• 27:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But need our help, need our prayers.
• 27:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So until next time, you can give us a thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, reshare, repost, and reach out to 25 contacts in your phone.
• 27:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Share the voices for voices, podcast with them wherever they find their podcast.
• 27:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We greatly appreciate that.
• 28:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much, and we'll see you on a future episode of the show.
• 28:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Bye for now.