Latest / Choosing Jesus / Sister Chat! Authenticity, Lament & Practical Ways To Start Walking With The Lord | Carrie Alexander

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Sister Chat! Authenticity, Lament & Practical Ways To Start Walking With The Lord | Carrie Alexander · Choosing Jesus

• 0:09
  Christina: I keep choosing Jesus. Hi, friends. Welcome back to the Choosing Jesus Podcast. As always, I cannot stop saying it. I'm so delighted to be here with you.
• 0:21
  I'm so delighted that you're here. You spent time choosing this podcast to listen to. I hope it blesses you tremendously. Today, I get to sit down with my sister, my older sister, Carrie Alexander. I know we don't have the same last name.
• 0:34
  She's married and whatever. No, she is so incredible. Such a beautiful woman of God. She's a wife. She's a mom.
• 0:41
  She has a podcast herself specifically, for Christian mothers. It's called New Mom Podcast. I love listening even though I'm not a mom, but if you are a mom or know a mom, I encourage you to listen or send it to a friend. It's really, really sweet and fruitful. She has wonderful guests on and she just stewards that space really beautifully.
• 1:02
  So we covered a lot of ground. We talked about hopelessness and kind of lamenting with the Lord. We talk about authenticity and kind of walking in the fullness of who the Lord made you to be and what that can look like. We talk about just being sisters growing in Christ together, praise the Lord. Thank you, Jesus.
• 1:19
  And we talk about sisters copying you because they're your sister and many, many other things. Honestly, it's just such a sweet conversation. We also touch on What If It's Wonderful, which is a concept from a book we both love, but we should talk about what that even means. And I think that's how we kicked off the whole conversation. So honestly, maybe that's our question today.
• 1:37
  Whatever you're wrestling with, whatever you're walking through inspired by Nicole Zazowski is the author's name of the book. Maybe the question today that I want to encourage you in is what if it's wonderful? What if what you're facing that you might have fear about is wonderful indeed? So may the Lord bless you and, help you ponder that question as we we enter into this episode with my sister. Sister, you're on Choosing Jesus.
• 2:03
  Carrie: I know. Sis, congrats on the show. This is exciting.
• 2:05
  Christina: Thank you. It is exciting.
• 2:06
  Carrie: So exciting. This is exciting. Long time coming. She's been talking about doing a podcast since a long long time ago. And I mean, seriously, like, far before
• 2:16
  Christina: Like a really... Yeah.
• 2:16
  Carrie: I did anything. Yeah. And and so it's really cool to just see in the right timing, like, in God's timing. It just coming to life and, like, I'm so I'm so proud of you. I can't wait to be your number one listener.
• 2:27
  Thanks. Did listen to first episode.
• 2:29
  Christina: It's really great. That's kind of the... Like, Carrie has a podcast. It is called New Mom Podcast. It is.
• 2:34
  And she talks about being a new mom. She talks about all the different seasons of momhood that she's walked through and she has on wonderful guests that get to talk through their wonderful seasons of momhood and all the things. But I have loved the list... The episodes I've listened to and it's just so cool to see you walking that call.
• 2:51
  Carrie: So sweet. I'm like, I'm not caught up on the show. And I'm like, well, I'm not a You're
• 2:54
  Christina: not a new mom. So there is that. You really don't need to listen. And I'm like, I'm always like, I get her in the flesh. So that's how I feel.
• 3:00
  I'm like, dude, there's no pressure to ever... Like, be listening because I'm like, you see me in the flesh. That's how I feel with anyone who, like, knows me in real life. You literally live out the day to day with me. Like, please don't watch.
• 3:08
  Carrie: Yeah. Like, you don't need to listen to
• 3:09
  Christina: me But then if I laugh because you've also mentioned that sometimes people will be like, I forgot to actually check-in on you. I've been listening to your podcast, so I keep thinking we've been talking.
• 3:17
  Carrie: I do have friends say that. I... If you're listening, text me.
• 3:20
  Christina: We need you to text us and actually communicate I've with
• 3:24
  Carrie: caught up with you this month, but
• 3:24
  Christina: I just listened to all your episodes. And I was like, well, I have you. Have everything going on in my life that I don't
• 3:28
  Carrie: know what's going
• 3:29
  Christina: on in your life.
• 3:29
  Carrie: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's true.
• 3:31
  Christina: All that to say, you're my sister. We love running after the Lord together separately alongside each other. Alongside. Yeah. And I'm so grateful for that.
• 3:40
  Even the Lord's kindness of having us at the same church for, well, all of our years really in adulthood. Yeah. But that's not always the case. Like, you know, sometimes people are called different places and the Lord's just...
• 3:48
  Carrie: We're... We get to be sisters and, like, walks us out together. I always feel so grateful for that and not like if you're listening and you don't have a sister, sisters in Christ exist for a reason and we both have so many of those as well. We don't just run this race, just the two of us. But I do feel so grateful because there are so many people, like, at church even, girls that would kinda come up to me and be like, I just, like, really desire for my sister and I to have the relationship that that you and Creeky have.
• 4:10
  And it's so sweet. And it's like, we're really blessed that we get to... Because people are like, are you as close as you seem? Or seems like you guys
• 4:16
  Christina: are, like, booth on fire for
• 4:17
  Carrie: the Lord together or whatever. And I'm like, no, we we actually are. I mean, But obviously don't have like a perfect like
• 4:22
  Christina: Yeah.
• 4:22
  Carrie: We really do. I feel so grateful. Like, yeah, we have gotten to serve together and be... Show up every Sunday together and just like be in the same environment. And even if anybody else like has siblings or family that you go to church with, it's a special thing.
• 4:35
  Yeah. Because you
• 4:35
  Christina: get to, like
• 4:36
  Carrie: That's really sweet. Do your thing and have your friends,
• 4:37
  Christina: and then you're like, oh, there's my sister over there.
• 4:39
  Carrie: And most people know youth. Like, they'll be like, oh my gosh. Like, at our last church in in LA, it was always like, if they didn't know me, I'm like, well, do you know Christina? Then they're like, yeah.
• 4:47
  Christina: And I'm like, okay, well, I'm
• 4:48
  Carrie: her sister or vice versa.
• 4:49
  Christina: You can
• 4:49
  Carrie: meet people and it's like, they know us. So it's it's fun to do to just like do life with family and community. Yes. That's a gift. Yeah.
• 4:56
  Christina: I completely agree. I completely agree. And yeah, obviously our relationship is not perfect, but it's super fun. It's just such a gift to get to run alongside you. Yeah.
• 5:04
  And what was I just gonna say on that?
• 5:06
  Carrie: I don't know. But I was gonna say we're five years apart, but it's fun because sisters know this. But the older you... We're not quite five years, four and a half years. Mhmm.
• 5:13
  But the older you get, it just completely closes. It doesn't matter. Especially with faith involved, it's just like... Like, could say something to me and I'm like, you're so wise. Like, I'm not like, hey, listen, I have four years on you.
• 5:24
  Like, back off. Like, I don't... Truly, like, in small group, but overall... And... Yes.
• 5:28
  I think it's like, it's really special. Yes. And I think that's how I
• 5:30
  Christina: feel with students too because I'm like, I don't know. It's just easy with age for people. And yes, it's like different. You've you've lived more life or like maybe I've lived more life than my students, but it's also like, no. Like, the Lord uses anyone, and everyone.
• 5:42
  He does. So getting to respect. And I feel so honored when you say that or people order them and you're like, oh, that was really whatever. I I was spoken to about, I'm like, praise the Lord because he does use all of us and, like, we need to be willing and not discount ourselves. Yeah.
• 5:54
  Carrie: Like, honor your elders, but also there is wisdom in in all of us that are seeking the Lord.
• 5:59
  Christina: Absolutely. No. I love that. And I was gonna say that we have served alongside each other, like, the same ministries a lot, but also it's just so cool to see... Honestly, I would just say, like, our calls are kinda complimentary.
• 6:12
  Like, I feel like they're similar. They're not at the exact same call, but, like, they run alongside each other, which has been really sweet. And just getting to watch you grow is so sweet.
• 6:19
  Carrie: It's so fun. And now we both have podcasts and that's fun too. Wild. Wild. And, of course, God would do that.
• 6:23
  Yeah.
• 6:23
  Christina: That's very, very sweet. No. And I was gonna say, I have a lot of people that will call me, like... I have, like, literally text from yesterday. Someone was like, sis, I blah blah blah blah blah.
• 6:30
  And it's, not my sister. It's like, it's the sister in Christ. And every time I receive that text, I'm like, is this from Carrie? And then I'm like, oh, no. No.
• 6:36
  This is... Have do call each other sis. We call each sis all the time. That's amazing. But I'm like, oh lord.
• 6:40
  Like, the fact that people feel that comfortable and, like, I love them and I do think of them. But it's like, I think because I have you, like, I actually am grateful for the reminder of, like, these are my sisters. Like, yes, you are my, like, biological sister, but, like, we are sisters in Christ and what a gift that is.
• 6:53
  Carrie: I was gonna say that. For someone who's listening who's like, I don't have a sibling. I don't... Either I don't have a sister Mhmm. Or I just don't have, like, family that I'm running this race with.
• 7:01
  Like, it is really cool. It's it's, like, double special that we get to do this together. But I will also say it's beautiful to see the way that literally brothers and sisters, like, in... Within the church, it's it's such a real thing. And there's...
• 7:14
  Like, you don't... Maybe it's something to grieve a little bit, but honestly, there's just, like, so much beauty in.
• 7:18
  Christina: Yeah. And God is just so kind. It's just... Yeah. He's just like, here's here's family.
• 7:22
  Here's here's sweetness. Here's... Yeah. Whatever thing you feel like.
• 7:27
  Carrie: A sister, a brother,
• 7:28
  Christina: whatever it is. I love it. Okay. So I really do feel prompted to bring up one of our favorite book tie... Well, definitely one of our favorite book titles, one of our favorite books.
• 7:37
  You did have This Woman on your podcast, but what if it's wonderful, Carrie? What if it's wonderful? And I was like, where are
• 7:43
  Carrie: we going with this? I have so many great,
• 7:45
  Christina: amazing authors. You have Nicole. You have. That title, I think, takes the cake, Nicole Czazowski. Was it?
• 7:50
  Czazowski. Yes. Czazowski. We love you. But what if it is wonderful, Carrie?
• 7:56
  So I would love to know a little bit about your thought process. The funny thing is that was a great book and I think we read it twice now, like three I different think I've read
• 8:03
  Carrie: it two or three times.
• 8:04
  Christina: Yeah. You might have read even again. Yeah. That title sticks with me like no other. And I literally...
• 8:10
  What if dot dot dot dot is written right here in my journal because it's just so easy to be like, if worst case scenario? What if fear that I have? Fear. What if whatever. Which I a be so real.
• 8:20
  There have been things that I walked through where the what if... I've thought of the worst case scenario and then it's occurred in front of me. It's happened. It's happened.
• 8:26
  Carrie: It's not to say it won't.
• 8:27
  Christina: Yeah. It's not to say it won't. But did it help that I, like, tried to mentally prepare for it or, like, no. Like, it really didn't. Like, the blind side still happens.
• 8:35
  It still hurts. Yes. But what if we change that narrative? What if we do transform our minds through the renewal of our mind that Paul talks about? What if it is wonderful?
• 8:46
  And so I just... I don't know. What does that bring up in you? How do you
• 8:49
  Carrie: think about that? Well, first of all, that book was super life changing. If you haven't read it and you're someone that struggles specifically with fear or maybe just like hope deferred or you feel like you've been wounded so many times Hope deferred.
• 9:01
  Christina: Makes the heart sick. Continue. Yes.
• 9:04
  Carrie: If that is you and you're like, I just have been hurt so many times, even like repetitively in one area that I cannot put hope in that anymore or I can't... Just don't think it's ever gonna change or whatever. Like, the the author, her particular journey that she was sharing was about loss with baby... With miscarriages that she had repeatedly. Right.
• 9:21
  Whatever. And and she actually has a a beautiful ending to that. That's not everybody's story,
• 9:25
  Christina: but her...
• 9:25
  Carrie: It's it's really it's really cool to see God's, just redemption in that. But gosh, I don't know. I think it it... To me, it just comes back to, like, when I think about what if it's wonderful, I just think about fear versus faith. Like, to me, that...
• 9:39
  That's like the... Think fear comes up. And as you're saying this, I'm like,
• 9:42
  Christina: I was talking to the Lord about this today.
• 9:44
  Carrie: This is real time. Before we started recording, I was like, God, I don't know what you want us to talk about today because I feel like I had like a lament day with the Lord. You know? Like, I was...
• 9:53
  Christina: She's lamenting. I did not know this.
• 9:55
  Carrie: Listen to me. I'm not very lament y. If you know me...
• 9:58
  Christina: Right? She ain't no lamenter. No. I think...
• 10:00
  Carrie: It's not like I'm the girl that's like always... No. I have. But we should all have those phases. I'm I'm not saying this like to put
• 10:05
  Christina: a crown
• 10:06
  Carrie: on my head. I'm saying like, I'm actually not the best at that. That's something that... What?
• 10:10
  Christina: I'm trying not to say it. Or keep your chin up, princess. Your tiara is slipping. I'm sorry. She used to say that phrase for a joke all the...
• 10:19
  Where'd she
• 10:19
  Carrie: even find that?
• 10:20
  Christina: It was like on Pinterest or something at one point. Keep your If chin you did have a crown on your head, keep your chin up, princess. Your tear is slipping. Was like a way to encourage someone to be sad the other day that we were... I don't wanna
• 10:29
  Carrie: talk about We were laughing really
• 10:30
  Christina: hard and we... I brought that up again.
• 10:32
  Carrie: It doesn't matter. Okay. The point is... You lament. I I was just gonna say I'm actually not the best at that.
• 10:37
  But this morning, I had a day where I was really lamenting. And and to me, like, so often, we all have our different struggles. For me, it's it's fear. Like, that's the thing I have to keep handing over. And the reason I feel like it goes with what if it's wonderful is because we're thinking, what if it goes worst case scenario?
• 10:52
  What if everything happens for... What if Totally. My worst case scenario happens? So I was literally just talking to the Lord about the skin today and saying like, Lord, I need you to restore my hope in these certain areas of my life. And He's faithful to do that.
• 11:05
  And for me right now with certain things, I have a lot of hope. Like, I don't think this is just... I don't know. I feel like sometimes as Christians, we're just like, I'm either I'm hopeful or I'm hopeless or you And know, to me, it just depends on different areas of life. Like right now, I have so much hope and joy and gratitude for a lot of things.
• 11:22
  And there are other things that have felt like hope deferred where I am like, Lord, I don't know how many times I need to knock on this door. And I am feeling like, what if it's wonderful? Just that phrase is like feeling so far from my reality right now. Like, I'm just so fatigued from from, from hoping for these certain things and like, these things that are ever gonna change? Anyway, so I don't know.
• 11:44
  I think that like, for me, it's just He's... I I... It's been like an hour by hour for this particular season, like with certain things in my life. And I just have to keep saying like, Lord, I need You to just give me hope again. I need You to let me say what if it's wonderful and actually feel it again.
• 12:00
  And He will do that for you, I will say. Like when you when you ask for that and you say, God, I need you to enter into this day. I need you to restore my hope. I need you to rejuvenate. Even just like I was asking for supernatural energy again today.
• 12:11
  Like, Lord, just like rejuvenate me. Give me excitement about this season and give me excitement in my prayer life again to pray
• 12:18
  Christina: about these things. Because that's the thing. When you
• 12:20
  Carrie: get really... When you get, you know, disappointed and when you get fatigued from praying the same prayers or knocking on the same doors, then you don't... Like, it actually can feel like it hurts to hope. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 12:33
  But but the Lord is kind to continue to restore that and continue to rejuvenate. So I feel like my hope tank filled up today. And then by the time... I had, like, that early morning prayer time anyway. And then by the time that Connor woke up, I was like, I'm really hopeful today.
• 12:45
  I'm like, that's crazy. Because I started the day being like, I needed to lament. And also if you're someone... Sorry, I'm going all over the place. But if you are someone that like is like me and maybe you try to accidentally put like a bow at the end of all your prayers and be like, yet, God, you are faithful, which is true.
• 12:59
  A lot of the Psalms end that way. Not all of them do. And, like, Lament is so valid. And how long, oh, Lord, is one of the most asked questions in the Bible. Psalm 13.
• 13:06
  And... Yeah. And so, anyway, I think that lament is like... Did not think I was gonna go here today, but of course I am because this is like literally what happened this morning. But I do think that lament gets us to what if it's wonderful.
• 13:17
  I think that's what I wanna say. Like, taking the time to lament and get through the disappointment. We don't sit in that. But if if you don't walk through it. Oh.
• 13:25
  Christina: I'm just saying.
• 13:26
  Carrie: No. If you don't walk through it, then you can't you can't get to genuinely what up is wonderful. Because the point of...
• 13:34
  Christina: Dead things can come alive. Carry on.
• 13:37
  Carrie: You can't... I I think like when you hear when you hear that phrase, when you hear like, be hopeful is basically what that phrase is talking about. What if it's great? What if it all works out? That kind of a thing.
• 13:46
  That's not something we just we just say like where our heart isn't actually feeling it. You know when you say something, you're like, it could be great. You're like, I don't actually believe that. Yeah. Or I'm gonna pray for this thing to happen, but I don't actually think it's gonna happen.
• 13:56
  I I do believe that lament is like a part of the... Nothing with the Lord is a formula. But I feel like for me, it's a part of the equation to be like, okay, Lord, it's time to lament so that I can get through this and not just like keep putting band aids on it Yeah. But actually get through the ugly to be like, you know what? I'm actually feeling genuine hope again because I just I just gave this to you.
• 14:13
  So...
• 14:13
  Christina: Yeah. Woah. Okay. I have, like, a lot of thoughts off of that. Yeah.
• 14:16
  Carrie: Please. Spew, girl.
• 14:18
  Christina: I said dead things come alive because until we fully surrender things, like, there is something in that lamenting that's just that honesty that is kind of a surrender of sorts where it's like, I am, like, I'm laying this down and I'm bringing it to you so honestly, Lord. Mhmm. That that is, like, when he can work with it and, like, when he can bring like, beauty from ashes. She can take it. It is...
• 14:37
  Yes. He can definitely handle it. Mhmm. We feel like he can't. And he...
• 14:43
  Like you said, like, hope can also coexist. It's like Mhmm. We can feel both those things in the same time. Like, I have... Like, in the past year, I think that's been one of the things I've learned most is like, oh, this...
• 14:52
  I feel more like pain than ever before, but also like a weirdly deeper joy than ever before. Weird pain, but like weird peace. Or like, this was really like, I feel like there was suffering in this, but then also there was more gratitude. More gratitude than I could have ever imagined. That doesn't even make sense.
• 15:09
  And it's like, that is... It doesn't have to be one or the other,
• 15:14
  Carrie: But I feel like it's rarely one or the other. No. But it's like this both and. Yes.
• 15:18
  Christina: And I do feel like people... Yeah. It's like... Or we we can pile on shame if we're like, I'm feeling discouraged. And it's like, that might be one second or one day, but then, yeah, as we lament, bring things to the Lord and come to Him in honesty, like He wants to give us hope.
• 15:31
  He gives us hope in a future. Like that is His story. And so that is really important. And this is so silly, I don't know why it came to mind, I remember years and years ago, I was at a church service and this guy was playing the drums in this shirt and it said, inhale courage, exhale fear. And I'm not kidding.
• 15:50
  I was like, this is how... This is why I don't care how I... Like, however I come across, however people get met, I'm like, I've been met in the most random ways by the Lord. Like, he's so kind. He's so kind.
• 16:01
  And so this guy, literally don't even know how I saw his shirt because he was drunk. Like, I don't even know. But anyway, I was like, I want
• 16:06
  Carrie: that shirt.
• 16:08
  Christina: And so I found that shirt Dude, oh my gosh. On like, not that shirt, but like something that said that on... And this was like years ago. And I found that shirt and I wore it as a... Like, I wear...
• 16:20
  I don't know if I ever wore it as an actual shirt. Think I did, but now I sleep in it still. All these years later, it reminds me of, like, my high school me who, like, had a little shred of hope and was like, oh my gosh. Yes. Yes.
• 16:28
  Oh, wow.
• 16:29
  Carrie: Oh my gosh.
• 16:29
  Christina: It was self built. So it was a long time ago. Oh, wow. This is so cool.
• 16:32
  Carrie: So sweet. So kind
• 16:33
  Christina: of the Lord. And I still sleep in it. But it's actually such a good little message. Like, inhale courage, exhale fear. Mhmm.
• 16:38
  But it's so funny because I'm not kidding. That shirt on the random man, like the whole church service, I don't remember. But that moment where I saw that shirt, this... My heart just was like, I have a little bit of hope right now for like just the fear that I have or the whatever, the anxieties that I have or whatever. And so getting to like have those little nuggets of like things that just bring hope, bring...
• 16:58
  Yeah. Just literally bring hope. And that's like what God wants to do. So whether it is in huge moments where we have major laid out before the Lord lamenting prayers, or if it is something so tiny like ordering food does make the heart sick. But God is just...
• 17:13
  He renews our strength. He renews our hope. He renews our joy. He renews our mind. When we
• 17:18
  Carrie: give it to him.
• 17:18
  Christina: When we give it to him.
• 17:19
  Carrie: When we acknowledge it. As we seek him.
• 17:21
  Christina: Mhmm. Yeah. And so that's so beautiful. And so I love that. Yeah.
• 17:25
  This what if it's wonderful, it's like that can be a redirection. Like, we are... We need to pay attention to what we pay attention to. Mhmm. But I think that there is...
• 17:32
  Yeah.
• 17:33
  Carrie: I mean, I was just gonna say at the at the same time as I say that, because today I happen to be in this place of Lament. Right? Mhmm. But but I do think in general with that book when I think about that phrase and like her message, there is just such a need to speak life and there's such a need to continue to ask. I don't know.
• 17:53
  I just think this world there is like, it's so easy to be negative and it's so easy to feel like everything's out of our hands and so easy to feel like things aren't gonna work out. And so as much as I say we do need to lament to get there, I think that's a piece of it. I also think gratitude is equally a piece of it. And and that goes back to the paradox of of life. There's there's so many different things I think that we can...
• 18:12
  Like ways we can meet the Lord that helps us in that. But I know for me also having gratitude resource my hope as well. So it's like having lament. I did both today. Had lamenting and then also saying all the things I'm thankful for, Lord.
• 18:23
  You were so faithful with these things. Mhmm. I had hope and you fulfilled those. You know what I mean? And so I know you will be faithful here.
• 18:31
  Christina: Yes.
• 18:31
  Carrie: Whatever it looks like. And it's not always gonna look to your point. Like, you're like, oh, some of those fears happen. It's not always gonna look like how we think, but we always have the Lord in it. Yes.
• 18:39
  And He always wants us to hope. Yes. He never says, like, you know, stop hoping. Yes. It's it's like He does say in this world, you will have trouble.
• 18:46
  Yes.
• 18:46
  Christina: But
• 18:46
  Carrie: take heart, aka have hope.
• 18:48
  Christina: Mhmm. I've overcome the world. Yes. Yes. And he is going to leave no thing unredeemed.
• 18:55
  It might not look... Yeah. Might not look how we thought it would. It might not be to the other side of eternity. He will redeem what has been lost or so on.
• 19:03
  So it's... He's just that kind. He's the Redeemer. He is the Redeemer. So that also, I feel like brings such hope.
• 19:10
  I'm like, the things that are out of our hands that really are, it's like, how blessed are we to get to put that and trust that it's in the hands of the Lord.
• 19:17
  Carrie: And it's His to redeem. When we take that weight off, we carry our own burdens so often, but it's like, we don't know the timing that He's gonna restore and redeem things. We don't know. It could be different generations from now. It could be...
• 19:28
  Even like our... I think in our community that we've walked through some really hard things lately, Mhmm. Our town has. And it's like, how would this ever be redeemed? How would this ever be used for...
• 19:38
  And we don't we don't have to answer that. You know what I mean? We don't have to be like, this is what God's gonna do x y and z. No. Like, it may be something that we don't we don't see the full redemption storyline for generations or even until eternity, but we can just hand that to the Lord knowing, I I literally can't carry this.
• 19:53
  I literally... It's not ours. Not ours to carry.
• 19:55
  Christina: Not ours to carry. Mhmm. No. That's so good. And, yeah, we don't know.
• 19:59
  Like, we literally just... We only know such a blip. And so we have to trust that the Lord... We're also living in blessings from generations before that we are. They don't know that we're living in...
• 20:08
  Carrie: We're probably living in answered prayers from generations before. Yeah. We're living in blessings generations before. And, yeah, we can just, like, surrender that.
• 20:15
  Christina: Yes. And off of the faithfulness thing too, like, when we look back, like, we need to, like, fight to remember. Like, fight to remember the good Lord's goodness, his faithfulness. Like, that is why gratitude is so important. But it's like, that's so biblical.
• 20:26
  And he's always like, remember when I saved you.
• 20:28
  Carrie: He says remember. I love many times. And I I think that that's one of the enemy's biggest tools Totally. Is to completely give us
• 20:37
  Christina: an amnesia.
• 20:37
  Carrie: Spiritual amnesia. Don't remember your faithfulness. Don't... Did you do anything for me last month? Did you do anything for me last year?
• 20:43
  Christina: Seriously. All I
• 20:44
  Carrie: see is my hopelessness. All I see is The lies.
• 20:46
  Christina: All I see is the one thing
• 20:47
  Carrie: I don't have versus all the incredible things you've given me that I literally asked
• 20:50
  Christina: you for
• 20:51
  Carrie: that I didn't even know to ask you for Yes. Because that's how much better exceedingly
• 20:54
  Christina: You knew what I needed.
• 20:56
  Carrie: Knew what I needed. You see all that. It's just like... It's... Yeah.
• 20:59
  Yeah. I rest. I rest my case.
• 21:02
  Christina: No. It is that... It is about that surrender, sis. That's so good. Yeah.
• 21:08
  Thank you for sharing all that.
• 21:10
  Carrie: I did have one more thought. Yeah. This is, like, something that God's been teaching me right now that might just be, like, off topic, but kinda feels similar. But I don't know. I just feel prompted to say something that the Lord's been really, really, like, asking me to do is just lay down my burdens.
• 21:25
  And I don't if that's something you've even touched on on the podcast. I don't think so. But like, if there's something in your life right now that is giving you, like we just said, hopelessness Mhmm. Or is just feeling like a burden every single day and you're like, oh, man. Like, I just...
• 21:39
  I don't know how to figure this out Mhmm. Then you may not... You may say, I give it to God every day, but then you carry it
• 21:44
  Christina: all day long. Yeah.
• 21:45
  Carrie: And you're carrying it in your chest and you're carrying it in your brain and you're thinking about how can I solve this situation? How can I deliver myself out of the situation, basically?
• 21:51
  Christina: Lay it all down. Lay it all all down. Lay it all down. And even if you're praying that was really you hit that. I'm so sorry.
• 21:58
  Carrie: But even if you're praying and you're saying you're surrendering it, are you that's what the Lord's been teaching me is like, hey, you are praying about this every day. And then you're continuing to carry it all day, think about it all day, spiral all day, be anxious all day, fear all day. That's not actually laying it down. It might be praying about it. That's beautiful.
• 22:17
  He wants that communion. He wants that conversation. He wants that relationship. But there is so much beauty in laying it all down. Think about our pastor who said, our old pastor, Gare, who said that he, like, came to the front when he was younger and he was, like, kind of getting saved as an adult for the first time coming back to faith.
• 22:32
  And someone just, like, put their hand and they were praying for him like down his back and like they're cutting off this like backpack of weight that he was carrying of all these burdens. Mhmm. And he literally fell to his knees when they said in Jesus' name, cut it off. Yeah. And he like felt the weight fall.
• 22:46
  Mhmm.
• 22:47
  Christina: Mhmm.
• 22:47
  Carrie: Anyway, that's just been something that I think the Lord has been reminding me of is like hand it to me and just the the peace that you feel when you hand those those daily burdens.
• 22:56
  Christina: Yes. I also feel like there's just certain things that we... That are totally fine to feel. Disappointment, let's say. Like that's not inherently a sin.
• 23:05
  But when I go down the path of disappointment and I start making agreements of hopelessness or despair or different things like... There are things that are totally okay and allowed. But then there was this, like, you... I think you said it at some point in reference to someone else. Were like, maybe, I don't know.
• 23:21
  But you were just like, I think that the the, you know, it needs to be repented of, like, the hopelessness that's being felt. And I was like, oh my gosh. Like, the reason that that... And there is okay to be honest with the Lord. Lord, I feel hopeless right now.
• 23:33
  That is okay. But there's a time where it's like, no, I'm like in this victimhood of like Spiral. Spiral that I'm starting to agree with these things subconsciously or consciously that are like death. Like, I'm just agreeing with death. Yes.
• 23:48
  And like, that is to be not... I don't know. I think it's just something to be really aware of.
• 23:52
  Carrie: Oh, just because you need to be aware of that and you need to you need to pay attention. Like, if right now you're listening to this and you're like, oh, like, for instance, if you're someone that you need to analyze, like, every day am I saying that's never gonna happen for me. It always works out for everybody else.
• 24:06
  Christina: Yeah.
• 24:07
  Carrie: I'm always the one that is... I'm always the underdog. It never happens. If there's any of those areas of your life, I'm always the even if it's body image stuff, I'm always the whatever one in I the feel most insecure. Anything that you're agreeing with, my boss never likes me.
• 24:23
  Christina: Yeah.
• 24:23
  Carrie: Like, any of those things, you need to write them down and you need to cut them off
• 24:29
  Christina: because those in the name
• 24:31
  Carrie: of Jesus because those are agreements. Yes. And the enemy has rights. And when we start agreeing and we start saying things like speaking debt... There was
• 24:38
  Christina: something the other day, My husband and I were in
• 24:40
  Carrie: the car. Like, Conor and I were in car talking and he said something like he didn't even mean to say. And I was like, you need cut that off right now. Like, we're cutting
• 24:45
  Christina: that off. He's like, sorry. I'm gonna cut that off right now. Gonna have to go.
• 24:47
  Carrie: But I was like,
• 24:48
  Christina: that is child life giving. And like, we were just... Yes. It was it was
• 24:51
  Carrie: actually at a time of lament. And I was like, you're not wrong, but like, we cannot even put that out there in that way because we are almost saying like, as if it was true. Yes. As opposed to saying, Lord, this feels true. And I know it's not.
• 25:01
  Christina: Yes.
• 25:01
  Carrie: But when we start agreeing with it, that's when it's like, okay, we just Yes. Need It's okay to feel this, but let's cut it
• 25:06
  Christina: off because the enemy's gonna,
• 25:08
  Carrie: you know, get in there.
• 25:09
  Christina: No, absolutely. And that's the thing, it's like, it's okay to feel disappointment, discouragement,
• 25:13
  Carrie: whatever they think of
• 25:13
  Christina: to God. Those things to the Lord and pick up what He has for us because yeah, if we sit in it, that's when it's just sticky. It's like, okay, now I'm accidentally agreeing with things and now I'm
• 25:21
  Carrie: That's how it starts to seep into our identity.
• 25:23
  Christina: Yes.
• 25:23
  Carrie: And we need to keep our identity as purely in Christ as we possibly can. Cool. Anything additionally adding on there is we're gonna start living into that even if we don't realize. I've had things like that.
• 25:33
  Christina: Have you had things like that
• 25:34
  Carrie: where you're like, oh, I was living into something? You don't have to share what it is, but like, I think I've had things spoken over me. I'm trying to give an example of that. I might need a second, but I feel like there were a few things spoken over me. This is a silly example.
• 25:46
  But one time in third grade, I... We're going way back.
• 25:49
  Christina: Let's say, waggle back. I had... What? Just give me... Just let's take it way back.
• 25:53
  I don't know what came out. Go ahead.
• 25:54
  Carrie: We'll swing back to 2,004 or whatever. I had a PE teacher tell me basically... Or tell tell mom and dad about me. Carrie is... She pretends she's not competitive, but she is.
• 26:08
  She's quite competitive. And I, for years, like, I was like, oh, she sees that in me. Because, like, maybe it
• 26:17
  Christina: was a little true. Maybe there was some truth to
• 26:19
  Carrie: it at that time when I was in third But I started realizing, we started acting and competing all the time. And I started realizing that it almost kept coming out. I kept being like, oh, that's just how I am. I'm gonna be really nice to everybody, but I wanna win secretly. And it started to just like, that's like a silly example.
• 26:36
  It doesn't matter. It's not like a curse on your life necessarily. But I lived out that for years. And then I realized like, actually, that's... Like, I don't want to be competitive with anyone.
• 26:46
  Like, is there some level of healthy competition in life? Sure. Maybe. But, like, actually, what... Is Jesus competitive?
• 26:51
  Like, is that actually from the heart of Christ? So that means that that that isn't something that has to be in me. Maybe that was a little something.
• 26:58
  Christina: And I would always
• 26:58
  Carrie: say that. I'm like, oh, yeah. I'm quite competitive. I'm like, I don't actually love that quality. I don't really feel that way anymore.
• 27:03
  I wouldn't say I relate to that. Maybe if we pull out a board game, I might get a little Yeah. Quite competitive. But anyway, that's like a small example Yes. Of is there something that someone spoke over you that you are like, oh, yeah.
• 27:13
  That's part of who I am. Like, they saw that in me. It's like, well, is that something that Jesus says about you?
• 27:18
  Christina: Yeah. Which is why we need to know our word because we need to know what he says about us. When it comes to competition as well, I read something once it was like, you and the person you think you're in competition with are both going to bow down to Jesus in the end. Little bit of a spin off of your third grade story, but genuinely... Yeah.
• 27:36
  No. It's like comparison, competition, like those things are not good to live into and whatever. It's like, this is all just false. Like, this is all just, and you're... I would not consider you a competitive person at all.
• 27:47
  You are the first person to encourage and bless.
• 27:48
  Carrie: Oh, thank you, sis. You know? But it is something I like.
• 27:51
  Christina: I just thought it was gonna okay for a long time.
• 27:53
  Carrie: Yes. Yeah. And then and then I realized that. Also, Down said something recently about competition that I thought was interesting. She said that there was someone...
• 27:59
  She was, if you don't listen to Annie Down's podcast, that sounds fun. You gotta listen. But, anyway, she was just saying that that she was, talking to her therapist and she said about someone else who's in ministry. She's in ministry running her race. Somebody else was as well.
• 28:12
  Oh, yeah. And I think you heard that. And she said, she's just so competitive with me. I'm not competitive with her, but she's competitive with me. And her therapist was like,
• 28:19
  Christina: it takes two people to be competitive. And she's like, you're noticing? Because you got some competition on us.
• 28:24
  Carrie: Anyway, just think that's like a good heart check. Because sometimes we can all be... They're not competitive. They're being competitive. They're making it weird.
• 28:30
  And it's like Yes.
• 28:30
  Christina: If you're noticing You're feeling that
• 28:32
  Carrie: friction There
• 28:32
  Christina: probably is friction to feel. Yeah. Perhaps a
• 28:34
  Carrie: little Awareness. Bit of
• 28:36
  Christina: contributing to. Yes. Anyway. No, that's hard. That's humbling.
• 28:38
  Yeah. That's really true. Yeah. It's it's just, I don't know. I think we talk about that with our like call or I don't know.
• 28:44
  People try to compare calling or different things. And it's like, actually, like the Lord really, really made us individually and specifically. I talked to my students about that because it's a lot of Christian girls in Christian spaces. And I'm like, guys, I still hope you feel the personal call on your life. I was just thinking about this more because we've had like an ongoing conversation, especially with my like 10, 11, 12 year old girls about this where I'm like, why are they lights in the world?
• 29:10
  Like, how can I encourage them in who the Lord has made them to be as lights in the world in their Christian school, Christian dance studio, Christian, you know, it's like, you're 12 and you're just like, what impact can I have? But also whatever. And they definitely do. But I just started thinking about like down the line, like their office jobs potentially one day or whatever amazing thing that they do. Obviously an office job can be amazing too.
• 29:28
  But I was like, they might be the only Christian in their sphere, right? Or they might be swarming with Christians in their sphere right now, but it's such a reminder. Like every single thing is a training ground. Every single thing is forming us. Foundation, It's like everything is forming us into who the Lord needs us to be X amount of time from now.
• 29:48
  And that's such a good reminder even for us today. It's like, this is actually just forming me into who the Lord needs me to be for my next assignment or my next thing. I let myself be the clay in the potter's hand as He wants to form me. Yeah.
• 30:01
  Carrie: It was just so... Which is so good. And I think in our generation, maybe people that are listening are gonna totally relate to this because I don't know, just like my friends and I talk about it a lot, but we are in such an echo chamber on socials and your algorithm knows you so well. And so even as Christians, I find that we're all trying to kind of sometimes be this version that we see online or like, we're all trying to be like, if I'm called to ministry, this is what it looks like. If I'm called to give my life to the Lord, then I need to look like this, dress like this, speak like this, use these words.
• 30:31
  As opposed to, I think what you're saying is so sweet about your your students as little as little ones, like to continue growing into that is like, who are we? We are all individuals. And so we need to own that. And I think it was easier to do before there was a screen in front of us. I mean, I even noticed, like, there...
• 30:49
  There's a way that Christian people speak now that's, like, has a cadence to it and stuff that we just don't... And I'm not saying everybody's doing that, like, vindictively. I genuinely just think it's culture. Right? We're all like, oh, yeah.
• 30:58
  Like, Christians, like,
• 30:59
  Christina: they go up when they're talking about whatever, and then they come
• 31:01
  Carrie: and bring it down. Like, whatever it
• 31:02
  Christina: We're gonna land a plane. Yes. Yes. We do that.
• 31:05
  Carrie: And I think that there's a way that we dress and there's a way that we act and all of that. And so it's just like a... I don't know. That's something I've just been kinda sitting with lately is like, I wanna authentically be me. Am I dressing like me?
• 31:18
  Am I talking like me? Yeah. It's the call that God's actually telling me to talk about? Like the things that He's telling me to say or me to do or to love my neighbor, am I doing that? Am I actually being obedient to Him or am I trying to do this thing that I think is ministry versus actually just living out like our lives.
• 31:34
  Our lives are ministry. And I think that's just kind of a good heart check for all of us. I definitely felt convicted with that of like, okay, I need to make sure that I'm being me. I think you're really good at being you.
• 31:44
  Christina: Oh, sis. I'm so I'm not gonna lie. My brain this whole time, I'm like, I kinda just wanna start wearing sackcloth. Okay. Well, maybe we don't take it that far.
• 31:53
  I do. I think it's time to be a monk now. Yeah. No. I think it's really important to be authentically ourselves.
• 31:58
  That's something I just
• 31:59
  Carrie: feel You are passionately very good at that. I wanna say that. Like, you're you're not someone that I, I I don't even know if you struggle with that, to be honest. Because I feel like you are just very authentically. You're like, this is what God has asked me to do.
• 32:09
  This is who... This is what God has put on my heart. So I'm gonna do it and it's unique. And I think that's that's why I think you're, for so many reasons, such a good voice for for listeners, especially for people that are even like younger than you or earlier in in their faith because it's like, you're just a great example. Like, no, people don't need to be like, oh, I wanna be like Christina Please don't.
• 32:29
  Dress like her wear. Mean, hey, you wanna wear the earrings we're wearing?
• 32:31
  Christina: Honestly, Yeah. They really drop a like Everything except
• 32:36
  Carrie: to be... I mean, it's like with Sadie Roberts, live original. You know what I mean? Like, it's encouragement
• 32:40
  Christina: not to be...
• 32:41
  Carrie: I don't think Sadie Robertson wants a zillion Sadie Robertson. She wants a zillion originals.
• 32:45
  Christina: I will say that's the passion I share because when I think about it, I'm like, I would be a little mortified if my students all started dressing like me. Please don't do that. That would be so scary. But my thought is, like, I hope... Even if they're like, oh, miss Wampler or miss Christina, she's so eclectic or she's so whatever.
• 32:58
  I hope that makes them be like, I don't know. That's... I literally remember. So can I be who I want to be?
• 33:04
  Carrie: Like, not like, does a Christian grow
• 33:05
  Christina: up to be eclectic? I'll be eclectic. Yeah. Exactly. And so that's why even when I...
• 33:09
  I just want to give people permission because I believe God gives us permission to be who he's asked us to be, like, hallelujah. And that is even how I felt. I remember when I would be in chapel at... Where I worked before and there'd be like 550, you know, students and like, high schoolers are scary. They really are.
• 33:24
  But I was like, I'm getting over it. I'm getting over it. And so like the first day that I was in chapel, I was like, I am putting my hands up. I was... Happened to be seated in like the front row.
• 33:31
  That's where I was required to sit. I was like, okay. Everyone can see me. Whatever. And I was like, I'm not going to worship......
• 33:37
  Point.
• 33:37
  Carrie: 23. Okay. Yeah.
• 33:39
  Christina: And I was like, I'm not going to worship any differently than I do on a Sunday even though I'm literally scared of high schoolers. But, I broke that off into music. I that. I put my hands up and I was like, I'm doing this because I want anyone behind me or anyone at all to just be like, that's weird. But if she's doing it, I have permission now if I wanted to do it.
• 33:58
  Mhmm. Like, I will be weird before you so that you are no longer weird. That is, like, how I feel about my students. I'm like, I will be the one who's so far off a cliff for Jesus that you being like, I love the Lord too. You can have confidence in saying that or whatever it is.
• 34:09
  Like, I'm like, I will go. Not like I'm the most or the best, like, obviously, but what I mean is like, I will go to great lengths to make you feel comfortable and encouraged and empowered in who the Lord is calling you to be and asking you to be. Yeah. And so yes, if that's... Yeah.
• 34:23
  Sometimes I'm like, yeah. I dress chill. Don't know. Like, I do feel like myself, I try to be really aware of that or like, I've talked about not really wearing much makeup or like whatever it is. And I'm like, I don't want girls to be like, her hair kinda looks like a crinkle cut french fry.
• 34:34
  Maybe I can wear my hair however I want. And I'm like, yeah, you should. Like, whatever, like, you feel confident in. It's also about conviction and I really feel strongly about this because if you don't know your convictions, you are just on wobbly wobbly ground.
• 34:44
  Carrie: Mhmm. Mhmm.
• 34:45
  Christina: Which I'm not like shading. It's just... Think I when I started to know the word better, I was like, oh, snap. I do have conviction over this thing. And this is a personal conviction and that's the other thing.
• 34:55
  There are convictions that are scriptural that we have and call each other up and out as siblings in Christ. Yes. Then there are convictions about, yeah, maybe my conviction which could last forever could last for another week of like how how I wear makeup or not. It's like, that is a personal conviction. I don't place it on anybody else.
• 35:10
  And it also can change in time. Yes. But it's like, knowing the word, knowing the Lord, knowing what he's saying to me is how I stand on solid ground. And I do think that's something that people have maybe seen me as like, I I would say I'm a person of conviction. I'm like, oh, I know my boundary on that.
• 35:23
  Carrie: But I know I'm lot of... Are aware that you're like, this is like my conviction. My conviction. Totally.
• 35:28
  Christina: Yes. And that's why I think there's like, when people maybe see a confidence in me, I'm like, it's only because I'm confident in my convictions, what I'm allowed to do, what I'm not allowed to do, I will do, what I won't do, what I'll do with confidence, what I'll do with humility, what I'll do whatever. Whatever it is, obviously, I fall short in all of those things. But it's like, I... It's it's such a beautiful fruit of spending time with the Lord.
• 35:44
  Like, thank you Lord. It's by his grace that he helps us be that. And like, you do that a great... You do a great job with that as well. But with when we know our convictions, it's like, oh yeah, I don't let my kid watch that show.
• 35:54
  And it's like, don't have to be insecure that someone else does or doesn't or whatever. It's no, like that's just our line. You all post and shame everybody else who watches it. That's the thing. It's like even this weird comparison competition.
• 36:04
  It's like, no, it's not a competition of who's holier than thou. It's not a competition of who's a better mom. It's not a competition of who... Yeah. Who's humble.
• 36:10
  Carrie: Some people don't mind going to harvest festival with their kid and like putting on a little, you know, dalmatian outfit. Other people think that's not that's not right for them. Like, all of those things. I was gonna say, do you... Like, a personal conviction that comes to mind for me that's like, I'm I'm only saying this like because it's just what...
• 36:24
  Like, isn't to be like, you should have this conviction.
• 36:26
  Christina: Yeah.
• 36:26
  Carrie: No. But I noticed over time that I really don't listen to anything but worship music anymore. And I... I... Guys, like, when I say I was a Swiftie, I love Taylor Swift for years.
• 36:38
  And I'm not saying I don't like her. That's not what I'm saying. I don't, like, hate her now. But the more that I... I will say this.
• 36:45
  Before I knew the Lord, I was into a lot of Taylor Swift. And I romanticized relationships like Taylor Swift did,
• 36:52
  Christina: and I don't recommend.
• 36:54
  Carrie: And then when I became a follower of the Lord, I would be like, worship playlist and then Taylor Swift, like, I feel like something else, which is totally fine. Again, fine.
• 37:01
  Christina: You honestly clung on to being a Swifty, like, longer than I thought you would.
• 37:04
  Carrie: I clung on so hard. K? Because I was like, Lord,
• 37:07
  Christina: this is gonna go... You're not gonna take T Swift from me.
• 37:10
  Carrie: But man, it started getting... It started with the song False God that she released back in back in the Lover album. I was like, we're just gonna start skipping that song. Yeah. And then it went from there.
• 37:19
  It doesn't matter. No hate to tease Personal conviction. Yeah. I was just gonna say, it became personal conviction where I started realizing not only... Like, every time I listened, I didn't even enjoy it as much.
• 37:28
  The Lord was like That's insane. You're not gonna...
• 37:30
  Christina: Kindness, he starts to remove... Like, it's like you're like, oh, you're just showing me how false this god was.
• 37:34
  Carrie: And it... Yeah. Exactly. So it's kind of interesting,
• 37:37
  Christina: but I don't have like a makeup. Like, you're kinda like, oh, yeah. I feel like
• 37:39
  Carrie: like like little makeup or this or that. And I'm
• 37:41
  Christina: like, oh, yeah. I don't I don't
• 37:42
  Carrie: feel that way like I... Exactly.
• 37:43
  Christina: And I don't expect anyone else to. And that's what's cool. I'm like, oh, that's kinda where the Lord has me. And I know people... Yeah.
• 37:49
  It's like a lot of times it's seasonal. And so that's why I'm like, if I wear makeup next year, I don't want people to be like, do you want that on your word? I'm like, no. Like, And honestly again,
• 37:56
  Carrie: this is not biblical conviction.
• 37:58
  Christina: No. Yes. I want to reiterate. This is like, mhmm. Is my
• 38:02
  Carrie: own heart
• 38:02
  Christina: with the Lord. And I just feel like that's something he's asked of me. And like, I love him so much that I'm like, oh, sure. And in his kindness, I feel more like myself when I'm... When I dress this way or like when I live into the authenticity of who he's created to me to be.
• 38:16
  So it's ultimately a gift. Honestly, me, I think I'm... There are certain things I was more scared to do until he kindly kind of made it a conviction. He's like, you don't live into this, you're gonna feel a little off. And it's like, wait, that was so kind because I was really scared to do that thing.
• 38:29
  Kinda wanted to or kinda wanted to be bold enough to do. And it's like in his kindness, he's like, you're just gonna feel kind of like listening to Tucson. Like, you're gonna feel a little off if you live into this. Yeah.
• 38:39
  Carrie: He made it so unfun.
• 38:40
  Christina: I was like, this is not what it used to be. No. And it's
• 38:43
  Carrie: like hits?
• 38:44
  Christina: Elevation. Yeah. No. I do feel that way with music too. And then I have my little like indie playlist I play sometimes.
• 38:52
  Like there's... It is like that has ebbed and flowed for me. Like there were... I will go back and I will look at my rap from, like, 2020, 2021. I am disturbed about it.
• 39:01
  I am like, what? How did I listen to this explicit song enough that it is my top song of '20... Like... Man, the truth?
• 39:11
  Carrie: That's where I would go off... So concerning.
• 39:13
  Christina: Yes. And so there was things where I...
• 39:15
  Carrie: Don't listen to Today's List....
• 39:16
  Christina: Sad and I was so, like, explicit. What is going on? Like, why did I do that? Have like a... Like, really wasn't that crazy of a life I was living, so I don't really understand.
• 39:24
  But all that to say, it's, like, so sweet when the Lord molds you over time because you're just like, who is that? Oh, wow. I would not
• 39:30
  Carrie: recognize that person now.
• 39:31
  Christina: You know where I wanna land for the sake of time is...
• 39:34
  Carrie: How we doing on time?
• 39:35
  Christina: We're we're gonna land. Okay. We'll be back another few
• 39:40
  Carrie: months or a year from now because this
• 39:41
  Christina: is not a conversation. She's my bestie. She's built in bestie. So I want to know, because we're talking about kind of this past, like, whatever. Yeah.
• 39:49
  This did come into mind earlier. What would you say if you were talking to if you were talking to you of five years ago, six years ago? Like, I'm just starting to follow the Lord. I just opened the word. What is he trying to say?
• 40:03
  I want to walk this out. I don't know how to do that. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what to say. I don't have friends around me necessarily doing that.
• 40:08
  Help. Like, what would you say to her? Or however you would describe how you were at that time. Can I give, like, practical tips? Yeah.
• 40:15
  Yeah. I could
• 40:15
  Carrie: say either... I could give all the spiritual... No. But, Literally whatever you would share some things that I have literally told girls that have been in this in this situation. I recommend you start with the gospels.
• 40:24
  I recommend you do, Hannah Brencher has a gospel challenge every September.
• 40:29
  Christina: We just did it.
• 40:30
  Carrie: One of the... I just did it. Well,
• 40:32
  Christina: we fell a little short because we got a little behind, but don't worry about that. Yeah. But it doesn't... Yeah.
• 40:35
  Carrie: It. Yeah. Whatever.
• 40:36
  Christina: But we did it. We did it. We did it. Go ahead and adventure.
• 40:38
  Carrie: But the first year that I really was in that sweet phase of like, Lord, I want to follow you. I don't even know what that looks like. I've never read my Bible all the way through. I certainly... I haven't read the gospels all the way through.
• 40:47
  Like, that was a really beautiful place to start because it gave me a little structure. Anyway, she does it in September. All that to say, you just read the Bible through. Annie Downs has a great let's read the gospels.
• 40:57
  Christina: We love
• 40:57
  Carrie: let's read the gospels.
• 40:59
  Christina: Yes. How many times have we done that? Like, many, many. A lot. Like, she just goes through in different translations.
• 41:03
  I love that she reads the word, but then she just has, a little prayer off of it. It's very digestible.
• 41:08
  Carrie: Yes. So anyway, I I would say, like, there's a couple of different different practicals. And if you know me, I'm just so practical. So I'm sorry if I'm giving you, like, specific things to try. But try what works for you because I did all these things.
• 41:17
  But, like, starting with the gospels is amazing. And then I just would recommend you read through the New Testament. Take your time. Start with the gospels, then go to Acts, go to Romans, just go through the whole thing.
• 41:27
  Christina: Mhmm.
• 41:28
  Carrie: I recommend a study application bible. Application study? Study application? Life application study bible. There we go.
• 41:34
  She's got it. That's what I had when I started. It was very helpful. You could get commentaries. You could do all kinds of things.
• 41:39
  But I did think it was really helpful to read a verse. And pretty much any verse that I read, I could then go to the bottom and be like, what? What are they talking about? Women have to wear head coverings. They have to be quiet.
• 41:47
  And then it says here, thanks, Phoebe, for being so loud and talking in this church service. What? It it really covers that. And I and I think that's like a really a really cool place to start. Don't get overwhelmed with
• 41:56
  Christina: your life application study bible. If you're like me, I thought I had to read So all of the notes. So I was, like, in Genesis for eight years because I was, not actually. But I was, like... But I love that because it's, like, oh, what does this verse mean?
• 42:09
  I can
• 42:09
  Carrie: go Just so you know, you don't... It's not required of you.... Like we are. You don't have to read the bottom half. It doesn't...
• 42:15
  You're not not reading it. It doesn't not count.
• 42:17
  Christina: Can I just give a silly, silly, silly fun fact? My life application study bible is the reason I found out I needed glasses because the print is so fine It
• 42:24
  Carrie: is really fine. That I
• 42:25
  Christina: was like... I went to the eye doctor and I was like, my my eyes keep going fuzzy. Have to keep blinking a lot. I can't see it's in and out of focus. She was like, yeah.
• 42:32
  You need glasses. And it's literally... I found
• 42:34
  Carrie: out because of my life application study that I like to read every word
• 42:36
  Christina: of that. Because I tried to read every word of the teeny tiny fine text. Anyway, great. I've read a lot of it now, but it's
• 42:40
  Carrie: a great... Yeah. So I would say that bible is, like, a really practical resource. I would say, have the courage to even go alone and find a local church. Yeah.
• 42:50
  And I would encourage you to find a healthy one. Find one that is bible believing, that preaches preaches the word, that maybe has worship you can connect with, whatever that looks like for you, serve on a team, and commit to your church. I just think these are really practical ways because you need people around you. And if you are someone that's like, I just don't really have a total community, you will find it when you commit. I think there's so many church shoppers and hoppers this generation.
• 43:14
  It's too much. There's a worship night here. There's a Bible study here I wanna try. Then I drive forty five minutes for this. That's great occasionally, but find a church and stick to some people even if you find two girls that serve on Kids With You or that are greeting team.
• 43:26
  Christina: It just takes one.
• 43:27
  Carrie: She literally takes one. Yeah. I was just gonna say, it's just... It's so cool. And all of a sudden, a church goes from like, I feel so awkward.
• 43:33
  I'm here alone to a place where you're like, are you gonna sit with me this week? And all of a sudden, becomes so I think those are just, like, really practical places to start. And then my last one that I think is just, like, foundational is just beginning to journal or walk or talk or pray. Like, find your Mhmm. Find your prayer love language, I guess.
• 43:53
  Yeah. Like, you can do all of them. But what... However you best connect with the Lord, like, even if it's ten minutes a morning to start or something, just make space for that. Because if we have really...
• 44:02
  If we don't have relationship with the Lord, we really have nothing. The Bible's amazing. Church is awesome. But if you're not taking time to feel the presence of the Lord in your life, everything else is gonna fall short. So I feel like I'm wrapping up with the most important one, but that's a great place to start.
• 44:16
  Christina: Sis, that was a phenomenal answer. I'm not gonna Thanks. When it comes to church as well, I just wanted to add on one. Yeah. I think it's easy to just go...
• 44:24
  Like, we just get... We get really judgmental as like a generation, as churchgoers. Like, can get so judgmental. We're just like, I
• 44:30
  Carrie: don't like to...
• 44:31
  Christina: We're... That's the word I'm looking for. Like, we're... We don't like to
• 44:33
  Carrie: worship here. Worked the church
• 44:34
  Christina: so I heard it. So I like, I don't like the coffee here, but I like the worship here,
• 44:37
  Carrie: but that's the... It's like, okay.... Chairs are uncomfortable. This person dresses funny. Mhmm.
• 44:41
  Christina: Yeah. Calm down. Mind your own business. Praise the Lord. Like, what are we doing?
• 44:46
  So anyway, I feel like it is important to just... We talk about this. Actually, I do wanna touch on this. Carrie and I talk about this lot. We love the Lord, obviously.
• 44:57
  Hallelujah. We love learning about the Lord. Like, we... There's a prayer that I have prayed for years now, and I think it's really important. And part of the reason I probably am the person I am today because I'm like, Lord, I want to be a sponge of
• 45:07
  Carrie: your truth, wisdom, and knowledge. Oh, I should pray that more. I think that's like... And she is, guys.
• 45:11
  Christina: My name is Grace. But I'm just like, that is actually something I really wanted. I was like, I want to be like a sponge of just like... Because I can't get enough. Mhmm.
• 45:17
  But we love to learn, but we will learn from anybody. Literally. And that is like such a gift from the Lord. And like we talked about learning from younger people. I literally would have...
• 45:26
  Sometimes my students do devotionals. So these are high school students and I'm like, I want my journal there. Like, I wanna take notes. I want them to know that what they're bringing has value. Like, we...
• 45:34
  If we have hearts that are desiring to learn and honor the Lord, we will be able to find things from crumbs. I remember there was a time I spoke, which they spoke way more than crumbs. Have a wonderful, amazing wise students. But I remember there was a time where I spoke at the church I was working at for a small group of people, but they were people who'd been in prayer for like fifty years. And I was like, hi, I'm your new intern.
• 45:53
  Yeah. Here's how to pray. It was just so silly. But I had to talk to him about faith. It was so scary, but I'm really grateful I had to do it.
• 45:59
  But someone emailed me after. They took... It was this man. I love him so much. Oh my gosh.
• 46:04
  And he was so sweet. He took notes the whole entire time. This old guy. Not... He's not super old, but like older man.
• 46:09
  And he emailed me after just the most encouraging, like, your words are like, you have this gift and you're creative with sweet... Oh my gosh. My... I've listened to that talk since. It was low key trash.
• 46:19
  Okay. It was nothing to do with what I said. He just wanted to encourage like what the Lord was doing, but he genuinely was taking notes and he took time to encourage me. And it's like, if you want to learn, if you want to know the Lord, if you want to encourage, you will. And so going to a church, if you're like...
• 46:32
  Even if... I have tried many churches by the grace of the Lord. Like, I just love...
• 46:36
  Carrie: You enjoy that. I do. You enjoy church hopping. Mhmm.
• 46:38
  Christina: I enjoy being plugged in Mhmm. And then being like, I'm double dipping this week because I'm not gonna serve this week, but I'm gonna go understand this different Yeah. Viewpoint or whatever. You're a bit of a
• 46:47
  Carrie: double dipper sometimes. Sometimes
• 46:48
  Christina: I am. I'm... Like, literally, when else can I? You are... It's like, I'm not a mom.
• 46:52
  I'm not married. Like, let me live my life. Yes. Please. I'm just gonna praise the Lord twice today.
• 46:55
  But I... Even the services where I, like, heavily am confused or disagree with, like, something going on. And again, I don't even mean that in a judgmental way. I'm just like, I don't really know how I feel about this. Like, it's not about my feelings and this isn't the church I'm called to go to regularly.
• 47:08
  Mhmm. But I'm always leaving with notes. And I I felt the Lord recently at a church service be like, assume the best in them. And I was like, oh, I was assuming the worst. Like I was literally Yeah.
• 47:18
  Like That's... Judging this, this, and this. And like... And I was like, oh my gosh. I need to assume the best.
• 47:23
  Like maybe they pray this way because of this reason or maybe they do communion this way because of this thing. Like it just... It was really humbling and I try to be I try to be aware of that, but it was just like another level of of you like
• 47:33
  Carrie: being You would hope that someone, if they pop in and see you doing this podcast or they see you serving would assume the best in our church or would assume the best in you serving. And I I feel that so much where I'm like, oh my gosh. I really hope... Because I know I'm not doing it perfectly, but I really hope someone would assume the best in my heart Totally. Or in the heart of the church that we're that we're at.
• 47:51
  And like, I see what the leadership's doing and I'm like, someone can pop in and think something differently, but like, wow, I just see their heart. And I'm assuming the best in my church. Totally. So assume the best in... If you are popping in another church.
• 48:01
  Of course,
• 48:01
  Christina: the Lord gives us discernment as well, but like, it's still not ours to judge. Like, he's the judge. But, the last thing I was gonna say is I think it's so important to find a church that loves the church, the capital c church. One of the most, I get so hype about it when I'm at a service and they're like, yeah. If you, you know, tithing, I don't find that an awkward conversation.
• 48:20
  It's literally biblical. Like, I don't wanna care, whatever. Mhmm. But then when they're just like, yeah, it really doesn't have to be us. Like, any...
• 48:25
  There's great churches in the area or, like, get plugged into a church. Great churches in the area. We're happy to connect you with the different ones if this isn't your vibe. Mhmm. I love that because not every church is going to be the place you're called, the place you feel at home.
• 48:36
  Carrie: For church. They're for you being
• 48:37
  Christina: in being in the body of Christ. Like, it's so important. So I think that that's something that I would say too when when trying to find a church. Like, where's a church that's not, you know you know, that that really celebrates just the church at large and loves the Lord and anything he's doing in their city? Yes.
• 48:51
  And it's not... There's no hierarchy. It's just like unity.
• 48:53
  Carrie: We're counting numbers. We're just wanting you to find a place to feel plugged in and connect with
• 48:57
  Christina: the kingdom things. Yes.
• 48:58
  Carrie: Yes. The kingdom things that matter. So true. And I I love that. Yeah.
• 49:01
  I just, I think our generation could benefit so much from committing to a church and from... And to, just loving the big C church. Just being like, is my church and also I love church and I'm assuming the best in other ones. Yeah. It's good.
• 49:14
  Christina: No. The last thing I'll say too is about, assuming the best is please assume the best in me. Where it's scary in these streets to be to be public in any way. It's With the podcast? Yeah.
• 49:23
  You just gotta be like, Lord, like, you just have to let it go. I'm like, fear a man be gone. But also, like, we talk about this. I'm like, Carrie, I think I said something stupid. And it's like, no.
• 49:33
  Actually, I... That was what I felt... Like, that's that's where I was at at that time. And I can look back ten years from now and giggle about it and be like, I don't even really think that way anymore.
• 49:40
  Carrie: Also before we start, Roe, like, I I pray this a lot before I start is like, let let anything, like, stick that is Lord that you would have for someone, and let the rest just fall away. Like, I
• 49:49
  Christina: hope a lot falls away.
• 49:50
  Carrie: I was just gonna say assume the best and like, yeah, we're we're just two girls that love Jesus, that definitely mess up.
• 49:56
  Christina: Fall majorly short.
• 49:57
  Carrie: Definitely fall majorly short, but that want you to know the Lord the way that the way that we get... Like the same Jesus that we get to know, we want everyone to know. And, that's why we're here and that's why you invited me in today. Yeah. And, yeah, just know that our our hearts are just for you guys.
• 50:12
  And we apologize if we said anything that you were like, what?
• 50:14
  Christina: I love Taylor Swift. I'm so offended. I'm never listening again.
• 50:16
  Carrie: Please listen. I don't come back often.
• 50:19
  Christina: No. Since this conversation was so sweet, like there is an actual time that we have to cut off because of certain things, but like, I love you so much. I will talk to you forever.
• 50:27
  Carrie: Thank you that I get in your life forever.
• 50:28
  Christina: And I
• 50:29
  Carrie: just wanna speak a little life over you because you're my sister, but this podcast is, I'm just... I'm so proud of you. I'm so excited for the testimonies of people that are gonna listen to this. And, for anybody who doesn't know Christina, Cricky, personally, she... Not perfectly, but I live with this girl.
• 50:47
  Okay?
• 50:47
  Christina: Yeah. She sees
• 50:48
  Carrie: it first. No. No. You walk it out. You are...
• 50:51
  She is... Her cup is quite full right now in a lot of different areas, but this podcast is something that you are pouring extra into. The other night, she's like, should have fallen asleep because I'd already done classes and worked three different shifts and done this and this.
• 51:03
  Christina: But I was actually just editing the podcast because that's
• 51:04
  Carrie: how excited I am. Your heart is in it. You you read. You study. You are the sponge, and you live it out in daily life.
• 51:12
  I think that's important if we're ever gonna talk into a mic, which you never need to do to be absolutely on fire for the Lord and to live finish your lives. If you're ever gonna talk into a mic, you need to live it out in the daily and on the daily. And I just see you do that with your students. I see you do that with coworkers.
• 51:26
  Christina: I see
• 51:26
  Carrie: you do that with friends. I see you do that with people that are your accountability buddies with different things and I just... And with family and everything. So anyway, you have a sound girl who is your host on this one and I'm just really... I'm really proud of you.
• 51:36
  And you're also you're humble and you're willing to keep learning and being a Spongeo.
• 51:41
  Christina: I hope I never stop learning. Like, there's too much to learn. I'm so excited. Yeah. Alright.
• 51:45
  Back at you, sis. You are the best. I love you. Take care.... Listening.
• 51:48
  Carrie: Hey. You know what you should do? What? You should start asking the guests. Sorry.
• 51:52
  You should start... Should...
• 51:53
  Christina: Can you tell she has her own podcast?
• 51:54
  Carrie: Yeah. You should ask the guests at the end, how are you choosing Jesus today? Oh. Or what does that look? You are right.
• 51:59
  Yeah.
• 51:59
  Christina: Yeah. Okay. We're definitely... My friend definitely landed five minutes ago. Okay.
• 52:03
  Carrie: But... Carrie. In the future. How are
• 52:05
  Christina: you choosing Jesus today, briefly?
• 52:07
  Carrie: I'm choosing Jesus today by... Honestly, just by serving my family
• 52:11
  Christina: Yeah.
• 52:11
  Carrie: And and focusing on on the boys today, and I'm so down for that. So anyway, I'll keep it short. I think in general,
• 52:16
  Christina: that's really good. That's really good. I've never had guest before. This is first time.
• 52:18
  Carrie: We are work And I will
• 52:19
  Christina: say, I love that answer. And because I get to live with you guys, I'm so blessed. You know that I've spoken life over you on your own podcast, but, like, I I love you so much.
• 52:26
  Carrie: You just
• 52:26
  Christina: need a
• 52:27
  Carrie: beautiful example.
• 52:27
  Christina: You're such
• 52:27
  Carrie: a character. Pursuit your friend.
• 52:29
  Christina: Okay. But I just want you to know that I love you and
• 52:31
  Carrie: I appreciate
• 52:32
  Christina: you and you walk it out. And I'm so encouraged. In one of the episodes, was literally like, with a Christian podcast, I've watched someone do it humbly and well before me. And I'm like, my sister. I'm giving her nameless, but it's my sister.
• 52:43
  You just are so pure hearted, so excited for your ministry and what God is calling you to. And I don't even mean ministry in like a big scary way. Like literally what God has called you to is your ministry.
• 52:55
  Carrie: And whether that's
• 52:56
  Christina: a mom to a toddler or that is you on new mom, like you run after it. And I'm so grateful to get to do it alongside you, Sister. I
• 53:03
  Carrie: love you. I love you. I'm so sorry I'm such a big sister. I'm like, you should do this. You should stop talking now.
• 53:06
  You should. But anyway, guys, thanks for listening. I'll be back.
• 53:08
  Christina: We're so glad you were here. May the Lord bless you and keep you. I always wanna say until next time, but I I I hope you know. I hope he blesses you forever, but I will see you next time. Until next time, may the Lord bless me and keep you.
• 53:20
  And beyond, I can't get that. It's not gonna work as my outro. Anyway, we're gonna work on it. We're gonna work on it, guys. Come back next week.
• 53:25
  Bye.