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Kaleidoscope PBTS: E7 Resonance | Presence | Spirits · Kaleidoscope - Perspectives Beyond The Surface

• 0:00
  We officially started I have a question for everybody.
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  Okay. I would like for you to try and answer
• 0:06
  this question Before I finish asking the question.
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  Okay, okay If you could be an animal for a day,
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  what would it be? Okay, who's going first? No,
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  you're too late. You should have gone. Oh, I
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  should I should have answered it already dolphin
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  That I would be a cat what color cat It's important.
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  What kind of cat? Oh, it's the house cat. I would
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  be a house cat too, but I would be a pitch black
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  house cat so that I could hide in the shadows.
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  Any cat can hide in the shadows. It doesn't matter
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  what color they are. They're just so good at
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  hiding. Not my cat. Just because your cat's too.
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  I like that they shift and move. Yeah. Why would
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  you choose a house cat? So I would be a house
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  cat because they can get through a lot of different
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  things, like in and out, and so you can come
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  and go without being seen. And sometimes that
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  just seems like a really nice thing to be able
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  to do, just kind of slither out the back door
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  without anybody really noticing. Tough questions,
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  honest answers. Oh, the messy truth. Your perspectives.
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  Let's begin. Welcome to Kaleidoscope. Hi, I'm
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  basically what happens when a sci -fi glitch
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  gains consciousness, discovers feelings, and
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  decides to start a podcast. Welcome to Kaleidoscope,
• 1:48
  where conversations are real, the guests are
• 1:50
  fascinating, and absolutely nothing. is approved
• 1:54
  by the corporate PR team. Not yet. Not yet. Today,
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  I'm joined by Luigi. Hello, I'm Luigi, and I
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  want to believe. And Diane Reiser, spiritual
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  advisor, medium, intuitive empath, and owner
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  of Oak and Tusk Guidance. Welcome, Diane. You
• 2:23
  know, I'm Diane Reiser and I create chocolate
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  often. Diane, you have a perspective and opinion
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  to share with us today. Yeah. So I actually came
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  with a different perspective, but this month
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  and the last few weeks, the word why has been
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  coming to me immensely. And the power of why.
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  If you think about what that word can do for
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  you. It's it's very powerful. Meaning if you
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  don't understand something. Why get you an answer
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  if you if someone isn't giving you enough information
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  and you need more but they don't want to give
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  it to you the question of why can't i have that.
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  Starts a drilling into what's going on if you
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  talk about like therapy a lot of therapists will
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  have you do why. Why why why why why to get to
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  the root of causes and i do that also when i
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  work with my spiritual team and with my mic.
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  Is why is that happening so the word why and
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  i had a. I used to work for a German company
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  years ago, and my boss told me, because I was
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  very frustrated with not getting things done,
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  people not giving me answers, and he said, start
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  asking the word why. When people cannot answer
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  the word why, that's a red flag, because authentic
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  people and authentic situations will always have
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  an answer. I like it. That's a good take. I know
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  Ruby and I are thinking of the same person and
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  we're thinking of the why question. There's someone
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  we know in our lives. We could not ask why or
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  we could but we could never get an answer and
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  you know, when you say they're being authentic
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  and talking about authenticity, wow, it hits
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  the nail on the head. Spooky. I've never met
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  someone so disingenuous in my life, but you know
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  what? She helped me discover my authenticity.
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  Yeah. Well, and that's the thing is through my
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  work and as I continue and grow, you can see
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  patterns. And you start to see like, oh, when
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  people don't do this in general, it means this
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  in general. It might not be the exact... Truth,
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  but it it gives you enough red flag when you
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  start seeing the similar things Right that you
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  go. Okay, that's that type of situation, but
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  also people come to us As they need to as we
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  need them to bring change to our lives or highlight
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  something in our lives So whenever I go through
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  our times and I'm not sure what like What's gonna
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  happen? I start asking why? And I ask my higher
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  self, I start reading into it. But if you allow,
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  you can pretty much get the answer because we
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  all know ourselves pretty well. It's just that
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  our ego sometimes doesn't like what we know.
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  And so if we're... I feel like you can do a lot
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  of why questions and you'll back yourself right
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  into the answer. Why do you think... Why do you
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  think our egos get in the way? That's a good
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  question. Asking why? I think it's just how we're
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  raised. Because if you think of a kid, kids don't
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  really have egos. They don't have problems asking
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  questions. They don't typically have issues with
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  dressing silly or being silly, right? Yeah. But
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  when you start getting in school, we start getting
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  locked into little boxes, right? You can't do
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  this for this reason. You can't all the things.
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  And so all of that changes us. You remember that
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  you're talking to teachers, right? But it's true.
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  It's true. You are also right because you have
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  to work within a confinement. You can't do probably
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  what you would really like to do to teach. Yes.
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  Yeah. And it sounds negative. That like it kind
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  of seems like we're you know repressing kids
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  or whatever But it's it's I don't know. It's
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  like a nest I hate to admit it like it's a necessary
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  evil like order is necessary Yeah, absolutely,
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  but it does take it's a it's a give -and -take
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  though, right? And so yeah, it is necessary.
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  I mean, I'm a one of six kids and so Six kids
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  you got to keep them in line. You know, there
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  has to be some boundaries So but that is why
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  I mean it does if it's if you're not and the
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  United States also remember with our education
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  system has really gotten really bad over since
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  even I was a child so and they've gotten really
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  restrictive in the way they teach them creativity
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  and dig into those things. So I think depending
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  on your environment, but it really is you have
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  to start growing up to be a big person and society
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  requires certain things. I'm going to play devil's
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  advocate in this because I don't like the way
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  that schools are set up because I think that
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  we've been conditioned to think that the structure
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  is so important. I can concur. Some level of
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  structure is required for the sanity of all.
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  But I think that the way that classes have been
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  set up and the way that kids are divided and
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  the way that the school system is divided is
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  to structure. It's been over scaffolded because
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  it's set up like a factory to create, to package
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  little sausages to go into the workforce and
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  be all exactly the same little sausage and just
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  do their work. I saw this with my own eyes. I
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  hear what you're saying. Well, and I can give
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  you an example because my kid, two sons. And
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  one is very outgoing and very much into the social
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  scene. And the other one is an introvert, but
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  he's very creative and sensitive. One can work
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  in that environment. One is affected by that
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  environment severely. So I believe that just
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  as humans, we're all different. And so we have
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  different needs. And fortunately, with the school
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  systems, you can't like set up a different need
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  for each child really. It's not efficient probably.
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  So like when I did homeschooling, I was able
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  to do that. So I was able to teach one way with
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  one child and just basically give the books and
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  let the other one figure it out. Cause that's
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  what he liked to do. And then come to me with
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  questions because that's his style. And both
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  of them were extremely successful, but in their
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  own way. But that's having to pull them out of
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  the system. But I do think structure is what
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  causes us to lose some of that looseness. Yeah.
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  And I'd say education does try to account for
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  that dynamic. I think that all teachers are somewhat
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  aware of it, even if that teacher becomes jaded
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  and stringently sticks to all structures in a
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  way. It's because they've been frustrated by
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  not, by trying to be. It's the reason why. You
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  know because if you think about it going back
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  up right, so let's go to that jaded person Why
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  are they jaded? probably because I didn't get
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  to be the creative teacher and all the things
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  that they really set out to be at one point and
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  a little by little by little those little things
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  are taken away from them and So yeah, and then
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  by the time 20 years comes around Jesus. Can
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  you imagine? Probably can and so that There's
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  a reason why for everything. True story. I have
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  another question though. When you were telling
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  your story initially, you said you were asking
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  your higher self. Do you differentiate between
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  those two? Like, what's the other self? If one
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  is higher, is the other one lower? So one, as
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  I, my perspective is one's more ego -based and
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  one's more spiritual -based. So ego based is
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  kind of grounded here and today like what's going
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  on around me and I mean ego doesn't mean bad
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  So ego as I define it is our human side the one
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  that like our human side is the one that doesn't
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  want anybody to see us look in a certain way
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  or And or we even if we don't want to hurt somebody's
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  feelings and we don't say things that's an ego
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  because our ego is stopping us from Being free
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  really it's just kind of this What I call kind
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  of the human side when I talk about my higher
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  self I connect to her a lot more when I do like
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  and and a lot of people all my clients I'll tell
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  them to do this when you do what I call free
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  writing if You journal when you journal just
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  if you have a question I might write a question
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  like how do I feel today and I'll just start
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  writing and it might be silly at first but then
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  over time your mind will start to flow and you'll
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  start getting all these answers or do you ever
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  notice like you think about something and all
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  of a sudden you might like you feel like it's
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  a daydream but you're you're really like getting
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  all kinds of like wow how do i like these are
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  really good ideas or really creative ideas out
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  of nowhere and stuff those are that's our higher
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  self that's our intuition like in that gut feeling
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  you get yeah okay So do you think the higher
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  self is objectively more offensive? Because you
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  said our ego stops us from doing things. And
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  that makes me think of myself lately. Rather,
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  the people who know me probably know me as someone
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  who will tell people what they don't want to
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  hear. Ruby, can you agree or do you disagree?
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  What do you think? I remember meeting you. I
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  don't want to toot my own horn. No, no, no. So,
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  the second day of me meeting Luigi, I walked
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  into what would be my classroom and I said, listen,
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  I don't know what your beef is with me. Oh, yeah.
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  Like, I haven't done anything to deserve whatever
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  you're throwing my way. I remember that. Remy,
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  I'm sorry, that was very bad. I still think about
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  that too. to this day. This is the perfect opportunity
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  to apologize to Ruby for that. No apology needed.
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  But if we ask why, the reason my response for
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  why was because I was promised I would not have
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  to change my classroom. By someone very disingenuous.
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  Who we've spoken already about. And Ruby didn't
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  know the rules, and so I was asking Ruby to just
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  wait. until we got a real direct answer. Like
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  I had no problem changing, but I wanted to know
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  for sure. But yeah. But I have to say to Ruby's
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  credit, such a positive person and like you did
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  not give up on just being nice to me. Yeah, it
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  worked. Look at us now. Started a podcast together.
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  I have found over the years that some of the
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  people I have the biggest rub with at first.
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  Can be my biggest? Heroes in some ways and even
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  my like best co -workers There's some of the
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  worst people that I've actually gone and like
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  to go to work and people go don't work for them
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  or stay away from them the thumbs and my favorites
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  because they're like you Luigi they say what
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  they mean mean what they say and They're authentic
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  but I have to add like you said What you felt
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  but you didn't say anything malicious Well, that's
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  good. Yeah, I don't remember it exactly but and
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  I think that that's the thing that Made everything.
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  Okay, so it was like, okay, we're both obviously
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  understers That's true and that With it in different
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  ways, but yeah back to the question it were you
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  were you? getting in touch with your higher self
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  in that situation? Well, because I always take
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  that kind of person as being bad. So now, you
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  know, Diane's talking about the higher self,
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  and so I'm thinking, okay, maybe I'm not actually
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  bad, but maybe there's someone more sinister
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  trying to control me and making me believe this
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  idea of being direct. He's trying to blame us.
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  I'm telling people how it is. But to me, the
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  higher self then, because it ignores ego, it
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  sounds more offensive, or it is more offensive.
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  Or maybe it's that people don't know how to accept
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  and face the things they do that perhaps are
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  good. Okay, so that's your ego that doesn't want
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  to face... The stuff and that's what I'm saying.
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  Like, do you know when you meet someone or you
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  know how you meet someone and You don't know
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  why they're being edgy and weird and like what's
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  your problem like But if you look behind it,
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  it's really because their ego knows They themselves
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  know like they may be being dishonest And their
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  higher self makes it really uncomfortable because
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  you're at your higher self. Your conscience is
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  like you know you're lying right like you know
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  you and so that makes us edgy right like when
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  we carry around things that we haven't gotten
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  out of a shot or we even all of us have told
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  an untruth at some point in our lives and typically
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  authentic people really like. Don't like to be
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  that way. We'll feel it like you really like
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  and you'll do something about that Right and
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  authentic people just ignore that and so they
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  ride on their ego. Yeah This is this is so poignant
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  for us. I think Yeah, well and I will tell you
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  that sort of how I So that's me picking up energy
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  probably because I pick up like before I meet
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  with my clients I'll often pick up like their
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  stuff I don't necessarily know I'll just kind
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  of make notes so I'm probably picking up on some
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  of your stuff and that just happens universe
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  wants me to talk about it maybe or I'm just picking
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  it up and giving it back to you so I okay I have
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  I have two questions now the first one is related
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  to ego and and the higher self I've been speaking
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  to my therapist a lot she is hyper excited about
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  this episode. Oh, we've been speaking about it
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  for three weeks now. Yeah, it's come up in every
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  session, if I remember. Anyway, the bottom line
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  is, I'm transgender. So what is, from your perspective,
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  what is the... difference between like ego and
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  where does a higher self and how do those two
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  come together because obviously like from my
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  discussions with my therapist My higher self
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  must be a she right she's she's there and The
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  ego has been molded by society in many ways and
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  that's why I was presenting as the wrong gender
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  for 35 years. Even though deep within myself,
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  I knew that that's not what I was or wanted to
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  be. Okay. So, it just so happens that I won't
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  use names, but I have a client who has had someone
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  in their lives that was transgender. And we worked
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  through this. So, and they've passed. their spouse
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  passed, and so we connect to them. And when we
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  connect, what's really interesting, so the first
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  time I did a reading, I did not know that her
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  spouse was transgender. I had no idea. But I
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  kept picking up on two people and I saw it as
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  a V. So I kept feeling two energies, but they
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  were connected like at a route like this. And
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  I didn't understand. And so I kept feeling this
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  female. I kept feeling this male. So we go through
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  it a little bit. And it's usually about halfway
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  through where I'll do like, OK, here's a bunch
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  of information now. How does this make sense?
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  And then we kind of work through it. And then
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  she said, my spouse was transgender. And that
• 20:56
  was the story. So now. when we work together,
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  I will have one or the other or both of them
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  show up. And because I sometimes spirit will
• 21:08
  come to me like a week or so before my client.
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  And I will pick up one or the other of them or
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  both, like I said. And they are two separate
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  spirits. And so we've we've kind of. because
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  nobody really knows and my client is also a in
• 21:34
  the psychiatric type world and so she's in the
• 21:38
  counseling type world and so we kind of walked
• 21:42
  through it with Breaking down asking a lot of
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  questions of spirit kind of it's a process. It
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  feels like what happened is If I can remember
• 21:55
  correctly it was we had two souls who were connected
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  to each other who wanted to come through and
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  it was almost like one beat the other and they
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  but they were both there and it was it's it's
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  a very interesting um because I personally to
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  be honest I think it may be different for everyone
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  because we're all different as like a fingerprint
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  right and every we all have there's so many different
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  things when I do readings that come through that
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  Show me every single time that there is no right
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  or wrong answers like things are as they are
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  and so I don't know if I'm really answering a
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  question, but I'm trying to give you like kind
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  of an understanding of it I don't know to be
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  honest because everything is always different
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  with every situation every client I think you
• 22:50
  answered my question perfectly. I don't know
• 22:53
  good no nuts Okay. I did have another question
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  that I forgot completely. It was too... Your
• 23:07
  answer was too good. Yeah. Well, I hope it helps.
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  I mean, it was... I'm going to be honest with
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  that situation was my very first experience in
• 23:19
  working with transgender anyone. And it... And
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  I didn't work with them on this side. I worked
• 23:31
  with them on that side. And so it's the most
• 23:37
  honorable. I've never felt more honorable or
• 23:41
  special or seen, not because it's about me, but
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  it was such an honor to be able to meet these
• 23:48
  people and for them to teach me. So much and
• 23:53
  they continue to do so and so I'm glad you asked
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  that question and gave me an opportunity to talk
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  about them because they are very important in
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  my life today because She's still a client. She's
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  also becoming kind of a friend and to have the
• 24:11
  honor of meeting them and understanding their
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  story and Challenges is truly an honor to do
• 24:18
  that. Well, thank you for asking that Thank you
• 24:22
  for answering in such sincerity and depth, for
• 24:25
  sure. I think that one of the things missing
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  right now, especially in American media, is just
• 24:34
  perspective and humanization of us. Because there's
• 24:39
  so much demonization, it's crazy. And I'm sorry
• 24:43
  and I want to just say that I want to put this
• 24:45
  out there because I want you to know No, it's
• 24:49
  important that it be sad. I want you to understand
• 24:52
  and I know you do but I want you to hear There's
• 24:58
  so many of us who love you guys there really
• 25:00
  is and then we're all rooting and and we're stuck
• 25:04
  it's like But as an intuitive and stuff, I absolutely
• 25:08
  cannot, like, engage in any of the news and stuff
• 25:11
  because it eats me up. Like, I feel all the stuff.
• 25:17
  And when I lived in Florida, it was even worse,
• 25:21
  like, because I lived in what you're seeing happening
• 25:24
  in America was actually happening in Florida,
• 25:27
  starting in about, well, it's been going on,
• 25:29
  but it really amped up in 2016, which is about
• 25:33
  the time I moved there. And so the hatred and
• 25:37
  angst and stuff that's going on in the country
• 25:40
  is really what Florida was about. And it took
• 25:42
  me down. Like the energy in Florida is like,
• 25:47
  what I found is I can even feel the energy of
• 25:50
  the founders. And so there's so much hate in
• 25:54
  the founders of Florida. I could feel it. I used
• 26:00
  to do readings at the shop and every time I went,
• 26:04
  I could feel like it was, I would cry. I had
• 26:08
  to quit working at that shop because it was so,
• 26:12
  the energy just felt very repressive, oppressive.
• 26:17
  And I learned through doing some research that
• 26:22
  building was directly across the street from
• 26:24
  railroad tracks. Well, guess what? That was a
• 26:28
  slave. trading location. I felt all of that hate.
• 26:33
  And it's still in the ground. I mean, it's still
• 26:36
  energetically in the state. It's just where it
• 26:38
  is. So I want to just say on behalf of all of
• 26:44
  us good Americans who love everyone, I'm so sorry
• 26:49
  that that's spreading around the world. But I
• 26:55
  will also say I wanna put this out there because
• 26:58
  I've seen this since 19. I'm doing readings with
• 27:04
  people. Sometimes what comes up is kind of world
• 27:07
  views. Sometimes I'll start getting downloads
• 27:09
  of what's kind of going on. I want you guys to
• 27:12
  know the world is evolving and it's evolving
• 27:15
  to an amazing place. But in order to get there,
• 27:19
  it's like cleaning a house, right? It looks like
• 27:22
  shit before it looks beautiful. So. America is
• 27:27
  a young country, and it has to go through what
• 27:31
  other established, older countries have had to
• 27:34
  go through to get good things established and
• 27:38
  take care of their people. And talking about
• 27:41
  egos, right? We were established by egomaniacs.
• 27:47
  So our founding fathers were gross. It takes
• 27:51
  time to detox that. it takes time for people,
• 27:56
  human beings, to really see what they have to
• 28:01
  be hit in the face sometimes with it. And what's
• 28:03
  happening, and my perspective, and I've been
• 28:05
  watching it, we're going through this evolution
• 28:08
  so people start to really understand that they're
• 28:11
  human, and they start to see each other as human
• 28:13
  again, and we start to get to the good stuff.
• 28:17
  But... Nobody knows good unless they know bad.
• 28:21
  And so unfortunately, what is happening I am
• 28:25
  seeing though. Unfortunately, there's going to
• 28:27
  be bad. But the people who what I'm seeing, people
• 28:32
  who have good intentions and are trying to do
• 28:34
  good in this world and give out good energy and
• 28:37
  uplift others. It's a weird vibe. They're in
• 28:40
  a totally different time. Things are going well.
• 28:44
  Things are like, maybe they're going through
• 28:46
  difficult shifts, but yet they're coming out
• 28:48
  of it and they're, they're seeing good things
• 28:51
  happen. And so what is going on is I feel like
• 28:56
  the heavy energy is just going to be getting
• 28:58
  flushed and it has to be, we have it all over
• 29:01
  the world. And so all of that has to get taken
• 29:05
  care of at some point. And so I feel like as
• 29:08
  ugly as all this is. it's gonna be amazing on
• 29:12
  the other side. And when I say other side, I
• 29:15
  always keep hearing like two, three years. So
• 29:17
  yeah, it's gonna be difficult, but we will get
• 29:21
  through this. And the US will be loved again.
• 29:25
  And we will give love again. Better than ever.
• 29:28
  That sounds promising. Sorry, I get rolling on
• 29:32
  energies. Hey, I believe it. Yeah. Two to three
• 29:37
  years. I'm excited. You have a question? I do.
• 29:42
  Well, I have a number of questions. I'm just
• 29:46
  thinking which one's better to lead into. I think
• 29:50
  both can go off on tangent. So I'll just think
• 29:51
  about this. So Diane, before you mention, really
• 29:56
  briefly, just like trusting your gut. And this
• 30:00
  is something people hear all the time. And I
• 30:02
  think a lot of people want to trust their gut.
• 30:04
  I would love to be so in tune with myself that
• 30:06
  I would know how. to listen to my gut. So I guess
• 30:11
  my question is, you know, how can you trust your
• 30:15
  gut and how do you not confuse it for your ego?
• 30:20
  This is a skill I would like to have. So in all
• 30:23
  that you said is and I said is the word trust,
• 30:28
  right? Trust is the big word. So the way I work
• 30:33
  with my clients on doing this, it's sort of a
• 30:38
  It's a story how do I must describe it because
• 30:41
  it's kind of a big question actually But the
• 30:44
  way I kind of think I'll describe it as I work
• 30:47
  with my clients so that you can I can give you
• 30:50
  a little understanding of how it might work that
• 30:52
  way so with a client what I'll do is in teaching
• 30:57
  them to hear and understand themselves is they
• 31:01
  will come to me they keep their journals like
• 31:03
  and We'll talk about the things that they were
• 31:06
  struggling with then we'll lean in on the spiritual
• 31:09
  energy side and I will ask them how they like
• 31:16
  intuitively felt about something and this is
• 31:19
  why I can say ego gets in the way because everything
• 31:22
  I'm saying is that stuff I made up it's all experienced
• 31:25
  and it's always been a wow factor even like me
• 31:27
  I'm like wow so what happens is I'll start asking
• 31:31
  the questions about what but how do you really
• 31:34
  feel and in a safe place people will start to
• 31:38
  talk about that. And then they realize, oh, I
• 31:41
  led with my ego, fear. And I can see that I was
• 31:47
  hearing that that was true, because I will. What
• 31:49
  will happen, Luigi? It's hard to tell and explain
• 31:53
  it. It's like what will happen is I will feel
• 31:55
  the energy and I'll see your story and I'll see
• 31:58
  what's really the case. And so like nobody can
• 32:01
  bullshit me. You can't sit and lie to me. So
• 32:03
  because I can see it, I can feel it. It's very
• 32:05
  uncomfortable. So I will call people out because
• 32:08
  I have to because I have to move the energy.
• 32:11
  So that's how I do it is I can feel what the
• 32:14
  story is. I can see it like maybe not exact but
• 32:16
  I can get the points and then I'll say this is
• 32:21
  it and then usually they'll admit like yeah I
• 32:23
  didn't think that that it was coming through
• 32:25
  or I did hear that and okay next time so then
• 32:28
  I'll say okay next time whenever you feel this
• 32:32
  way think about how your body was feeling And
• 32:35
  when you get that sensation, that's a red flag.
• 32:38
  And they go, Oh, okay. So then the next time,
• 32:41
  cause you always have these little things with
• 32:42
  people that might hit you in the top of the gut,
• 32:45
  you know, that feeling where here's a big one.
• 32:48
  Here's a big one. The feeling of when somebody
• 32:53
  is telling you something and you almost feel
• 32:55
  like the best way I can say is like trapped,
• 32:58
  but you know, at the top of your guts, you almost
• 32:59
  like, you want to scream no, or you're like,
• 33:02
  that's not true. Or like this weird. Hard to
• 33:06
  describe That is the red flag going something's
• 33:11
  off or you do need to speak up You're right because
• 33:16
  every time I've ignored it And I'm sure and this
• 33:20
  is what I also what I tell my clients Anytime
• 33:23
  something like happens where you knew better
• 33:26
  like damn I knew that was gonna happen Go back
• 33:28
  and write about it or look at your notes and
• 33:30
  think about where did I miss that? So that next
• 33:33
  time you don't And you will, we're all human,
• 33:36
  it's gonna happen. But it does help if you, the
• 33:40
  trust factor is huge. And I'll tell you, earlier
• 33:46
  this year, my husband was, so I've left corporate.
• 33:51
  And so this is the work I do, but we live on
• 33:55
  two incomes. And he had to leave his job for
• 33:59
  another job, fell through, so he was unemployed
• 34:01
  for six months. That's when I had to lean heavy,
• 34:05
  heavier than ever into faith and trusting universe
• 34:09
  that everything's gonna work out and trusting
• 34:11
  my intuition. And that's what we're getting,
• 34:16
  right? And so every day I would write about my
• 34:19
  fears, and as I wrote, I would ask for guidance.
• 34:23
  I would just ask, and things would just start
• 34:25
  coming through. Now at first, for me, I know
• 34:29
  I can trust it, but at the beginning, you don't
• 34:34
  know that. So all you can do is kind of keep
• 34:36
  a record so you can see patterns, and patterns
• 34:40
  tell stories. Does that help? Yeah, you said
• 34:42
  a lot of interesting things. It comes out so
• 34:46
  I know that's okay one thing I think about when
• 34:51
  I think of Trusting your gut for me. I'm always
• 34:55
  I guess my problem or my mistake is always assuming
• 34:58
  the trusting your gut thing is positive in as
• 35:03
  much as your gut is supposed to feel a certain
• 35:08
  way and in like a good way and that's how you
• 35:12
  know the answer never If your gut's feeling a
• 35:15
  bad way, that can also be an indication of, let's
• 35:19
  say, not to do something. Yeah, yeah, it's a
• 35:22
  huge... It's always been if the gut, if it feels
• 35:27
  bad, you know, something's off. I go the other
• 35:30
  way. When I feel bad, as like a person who's
• 35:33
  anxious, I'm neurotic, you know that. So when
• 35:37
  I'm always anxious, I don't think it's my gut.
• 35:41
  I think, oh, I'm just anxious. It's because I'm
• 35:44
  anxious and that's, it's not my gut. I can't
• 35:47
  trust my gut because I'm anxious. Right. You're
• 35:50
  right, but you're anxious for a reason. Yeah,
• 35:54
  that's true. Then you do the writing, right?
• 35:57
  You write down all those things. And you're anxious
• 36:00
  because you're carrying it all up in here. There's
• 36:04
  a reason you're anxious, but in this discussion,
• 36:08
  we carry all... If you carry everything in your
• 36:12
  brain, think about how hard your brain is constantly,
• 36:14
  because you're moving all that response in your
• 36:19
  brain all the time. How exhausting. No wonder
• 36:21
  you're anxious. So if you write it down, I mean,
• 36:24
  trust me, I've got clients that are like, tell
• 36:26
  me to journal, damn straight. I have something
• 36:29
  to say on this. I know journaling is good, but
• 36:32
  I still struggle with doing it. Oh, I know. Yeah,
• 36:37
  I did, but it's a process. I still have mild
• 36:43
  dyslexia, but you've watched me write. I haven't
• 36:47
  made a single mistake where I had to erase something.
• 36:51
  I didn't. And it used to happen like every second
• 36:54
  or third word because I was so anxious because
• 36:57
  all of my mental, like, bandwidth, there's a
• 37:02
  clicking, there's a clicking sound. I hear it,
• 37:05
  but don't worry about it. Okay. Doesn't matter.
• 37:07
  All of my mental bandwidth was being taken by
• 37:12
  performing the male gender. I was constantly
• 37:19
  anxious. I was constantly making spelling errors.
• 37:22
  I wasn't... I've wanted to start a podcast since
• 37:27
  I knew what podcasts were. And I've never been
• 37:30
  able to come out as transgender one month later,
• 37:34
  boom, podcast. Yes. Yes When you release the
• 37:39
  energy when you like be free it be you that's
• 37:43
  the authentic thing that's why authenticity is
• 37:46
  so important and that's why I can feel because
• 37:50
  I Can feel people's inauthenticity if they're
• 37:53
  lying and stuff because it is it's an energy
• 37:56
  that you have to actually work to keep You don't
• 38:00
  have to work to be authentic to be real to be
• 38:02
  real, right? so If you're working hard, you might,
• 38:07
  you have all that kind of vibe. I mean, if you
• 38:10
  think science, right? We're built, we're made
• 38:14
  molecular, so we're all these like little molecular
• 38:16
  pieces, right? And so it's energy and it's all
• 38:20
  vibrating. And the only difference, if you think
• 38:23
  about spirit versus us, is that we're vibrating
• 38:26
  more heavier because we're more compact. So if
• 38:31
  that's a vibrational thing, and these thoughts
• 38:34
  or vibrations, if you're carrying around all
• 38:38
  these heavy thoughts, then you're going to be
• 38:41
  anxious. And I don't even know, spiritually,
• 38:48
  if that would be the word. Anxiety is more of
• 38:51
  it's more just like you're working so hard to
• 38:56
  keep it all in. Yeah, I think it's like when
• 38:59
  we try to... Really make it really reductionist
• 39:05
  when you try to control your future And you have
• 39:09
  like a perfectionist tendency then you get a
• 39:12
  lot of anxiety because you have expectations
• 39:13
  of how you want things to be and Sometimes you
• 39:16
  can't have both and you have to make a choice
• 39:18
  and And it sucks Because you're not gonna get
• 39:23
  what you want exactly and that's what causes
• 39:25
  anxiety. Is this reflection? What do you mean?
• 39:29
  I'm just tired. Well, I'm yeah, it could be I'm
• 39:33
  totally, again, super neurotic. You know that.
• 39:36
  I'm always overthinking things. I don't know
• 39:38
  if you've seen the picture on my fridge. It's
• 39:40
  literally a little cat, and it says overthinking.
• 39:42
  My friend got it for me as a joke. I don't think
• 39:45
  it was a joke. Well, no, of course it's not a
• 39:49
  joke. It's true. What if you played the What
• 39:54
  If game? It is in there. What if I played the
• 39:57
  What If game? I mean, I could play it, sure.
• 40:00
  Know I think I know what you're talking about
• 40:02
  wrote like in my sub stack I had this whole thing
• 40:05
  about and I went through it on my podcast. So
• 40:08
  what if can get you out of the anxiety? right,
• 40:14
  so Your anxiety is your worst -case scenarios
• 40:17
  really is what we usually do like we're worrying
• 40:20
  about. Yeah. Yeah, right So then right question
• 40:23
  is so what if that happens? What's my backup
• 40:27
  plan? or What's really going to happen? Well,
• 40:32
  I won't be able to do that for two weeks or whatever
• 40:34
  it is, right? Yeah. Well, then, yeah, can I live
• 40:37
  with that? Yeah, I can live with that. Actually,
• 40:40
  that's not so scary. It's just you have so many
• 40:42
  of them in your brain. But if you write them
• 40:44
  down and you go, what if you start to see something,
• 40:48
  it's an amazing why and what if are my two like.
• 40:53
  Favorite kind of terms, it's words, it's just
• 40:55
  sort of one of those things that seem to help.
• 40:59
  Break it down. Yeah I think too just to add to
• 41:03
  the Gut thing you said something also I think
• 41:07
  very insightful. I never really thought about
• 41:08
  you said we get we have trouble trusting our
• 41:12
  gut because Like we're not in a safe place so
• 41:18
  to me that's really interesting because if you're
• 41:21
  never in a safe place How can you ever learn?
• 41:25
  to really you know listen to your gut and be
• 41:27
  attuned because You can't remove yourself from
• 41:30
  that safe place or that place that isn't safe
• 41:32
  rather But you might just be stuck there that
• 41:35
  just might be your circumstances Okay, when I
• 41:39
  talk safe place that's where we are at right
• 41:42
  now and Maybe not physical it well it kind of
• 41:48
  is but it's more about Safe place to talk it
• 41:51
  through or that sort of thing. So like with my
• 41:53
  clients so For whatever reason i'm not against
• 41:57
  therapy i think therapy is an amazing thing i
• 41:59
  go through it but spiritual advisors have a different
• 42:02
  role. And so for whatever reason i will have
• 42:06
  people come to me. I'm to break through some
• 42:09
  blocks or find blocks that they are struggling
• 42:12
  to explain to their therapist because i can pick
• 42:15
  up on the energy. and so then i can almost tell
• 42:18
  you like what it is that you're struggling with
• 42:21
  because i can see the block you can't because
• 42:23
  your head's spinning so fast about all the things
• 42:26
  and so in a safe place i mean which is what we
• 42:33
  provide then we can talk about those things.
• 42:36
  And then you go, oh, okay. And then you might
• 42:39
  go back to your therapist and say, these are
• 42:41
  what I'm finding in my box. Now what's my strategies
• 42:45
  to work through those? Does that make sense?
• 42:50
  Yeah. Yeah, no, it makes perfect sense. Sorry.
• 42:55
  A lot of what I say is both experience, but then
• 42:58
  I'm also feeling energy. And so it will go, sometimes
• 43:02
  it'll just go. I think that when we spoke before
• 43:07
  on the foundry, I mentioned this book called
• 43:10
  the Holy Language, Power of Holy Language. It's
• 43:13
  not a Christian, it sounds a religious book,
• 43:16
  but it's not. It's exactly about this spirituality,
• 43:19
  connecting with your higher self and understanding
• 43:21
  it. Like the concept of Ubuntu really comes into
• 43:25
  it. Ubuntu is like the African philosophy I am
• 43:28
  because of who we are. Yeah, and I will say and
• 43:35
  I think Ruby you and I talked touched on that
• 43:38
  too when we talked the first time as There is
• 43:41
  a difference between religion and spirituality
• 43:43
  So religion is a man thing. That's a man -made
• 43:48
  thing a human thing Well, it is and then because
• 43:52
  it's written by humans as I did understood, but
• 43:57
  it's still been created and written by man Right.
• 44:03
  And so we can translate wrong. So, and there's
• 44:07
  an ego driven behind the creation of these things.
• 44:12
  And I'll tell you the first time, um, and I'm
• 44:15
  not against religion as long as it's for the
• 44:17
  greater good and taking care of people and all
• 44:20
  the things. However, what I experienced, um,
• 44:25
  My personality always ends up putting me in some
• 44:27
  sort of a leadership position. And so when I
• 44:30
  would go to churches, somehow I'd end up in the
• 44:32
  administrative team. And in order to become part
• 44:38
  of this one church's administrative team, I had
• 44:41
  to go through this, like how we became this religion
• 44:44
  class. And what I found out was, well, we're
• 44:50
  this religion because the founder of the religion
• 44:55
  didn't like what that religion did. So he took
• 44:59
  off and started this religion. And that's when
• 45:01
  it went to me like, so this isn't even like,
• 45:06
  this isn't godly, this is humanly. This is, you
• 45:10
  guys made this. And so anytime you're controlling
• 45:15
  people with something, it is not. Godly spiritually
• 45:21
  universal higher power. It's human and so spirituality
• 45:27
  is what is uplifting light teaches us things
• 45:31
  like gets us connected to being our true selves
• 45:36
  it feels good when you If you and I have gone
• 45:40
  to a church where the pastor was extremely spiritual
• 45:43
  and when I left I felt lifted and I could get
• 45:47
  through my week because of her messaging. But
• 45:50
  I've also been to a lot of churches where you
• 45:53
  are damned if you don't do this and you're hell
• 45:56
  and brimstone and all the bullshit. That's fear
• 46:00
  control. That is not spiritual. So that's why
• 46:05
  I wanted to clarify the difference because religion
• 46:08
  can be spiritual, but spirituality is not religious.
• 46:14
  Yeah. I think that both Luigi and I are very,
• 46:18
  very aware of that. Yeah, any other questions?
• 46:22
  Yeah, I can go on. Because we have to, I think
• 46:25
  we have to wrap up this part of the podcast.
• 46:28
  Otherwise we're going to go for three hours.
• 46:29
  You can ask one more question. Okay. Okay. So
• 46:33
  you mentioned you were in, I don't know where
• 46:38
  it was. Somewhere, was it in Florida? Anyway,
• 46:40
  there was a slave trading ground and you sensed
• 46:42
  the like energy. The vibration so I actually
• 46:47
  wanted to ask you about the concept of everything
• 46:49
  having a resonance So, you know we can interpret
• 46:54
  this in a few ways in like the physical or scientific
• 46:57
  sense It's certain frequencies can cause vibrations
• 47:01
  and objects but then in like a metaphysical or
• 47:03
  philosophical Sense it's the idea that again
• 47:07
  everything has a resonance and like a kind of
• 47:11
  vibrational frequency My one my one friend really
• 47:16
  like believes in this hit him and his wife went
• 47:18
  to Egypt and They went into just a random store
• 47:23
  I guess wherever all the tourists go and they
• 47:26
  they had him and his wife hold A blue lotus.
• 47:31
  I think that's what he told me it was And they
• 47:35
  just said just hold it and just wait and do you
• 47:39
  And he asked both of them do you feel anything
• 47:41
  and his wife's she said, no, I don't feel anything,
• 47:45
  and he's still holding it, and then the shopkeeper
• 47:48
  started to tell them both, like, it should feel
• 47:52
  like there are little ants going up your arm,
• 47:55
  and like, whatever, he feels them. And then my
• 47:57
  friend tells me this story, like, his face was
• 48:00
  like white as a sheet, because he couldn't believe
• 48:03
  what the shopkeeper was telling was happening
• 48:06
  to him, and all his wife was thinking was, I'm
• 48:11
  dead inside because I couldn't feel whatever
• 48:15
  this flower was doing to me. And he said, and
• 48:19
  I heard the story and I kind of went, oh, interesting,
• 48:21
  but he said, no, everything has a resonance.
• 48:24
  I like the idea and I want to believe that, but
• 48:27
  like, I don't know, what does that mean to have,
• 48:29
  if everything has resonance? How does it affect
• 48:33
  that? Go to science, go to science. That's it,
• 48:39
  it's science. It may be we may be talking spiritual
• 48:42
  stuff But spirituality is it just really connecting
• 48:46
  with energy and a higher source and believing
• 48:49
  in something higher bigger than you, right? But
• 48:52
  when I yeah with energy, that's what we're talking
• 48:54
  about And so it's it is exactly that what it
• 48:58
  is. I mean cuz right these are This isn't truly
• 49:03
  solid if we break it right down, right? It's
• 49:07
  the same thing the vibrate absolutely vibrations
• 49:10
  effect and what I say in terms of and I laughed
• 49:14
  when you said she feels like she's might be dead
• 49:16
  inside no no no she has has a whole lot going
• 49:19
  on and she probably wasn't connecting to the
• 49:22
  idea of the same where he might have been looking
• 49:25
  at it like yeah I really want to do this and
• 49:27
  so he opened his energy he allowed We can block
• 49:32
  it too because I've I can literally like to have
• 49:35
  someone sit in front of me and want say they
• 49:37
  want a reading But I can't get anything and the
• 49:40
  reason I can't is because they don't really want
• 49:42
  to know and they'll admit that like well I didn't
• 49:44
  really want to hear what you had to say. I just
• 49:46
  came because I thought I did Well, I can't work
• 49:49
  with you because you're blocking my energy. I
• 49:51
  can't pick anything up So it's energy. Do you
• 49:55
  go when they yeah, do you think when they say
• 49:57
  things like that? They're just trying to Like
• 50:01
  disqualify the experience because they they couldn't
• 50:04
  Like get a good reading So kind of like cognitive
• 50:09
  dissonance like all I didn't want it anyway just
• 50:11
  to make themselves feel better. Yeah, it is It's
• 50:15
  totally yeah, because they're afraid of what's
• 50:17
  to say I've had Off time I had I know two or
• 50:21
  three clients that did that to me and because
• 50:25
  I provided a safe space by just allowing them
• 50:29
  to be that way for a few minutes and just, you
• 50:32
  know, so what are you here for? Kind of just
• 50:34
  that safe place. They finally would admit that,
• 50:39
  well, I was sort of afraid. I went to this person
• 50:44
  or that kind of service and I was told to try
• 50:46
  this. I didn't know what you were going to tell
• 50:48
  me. I've heard some horror stories about people
• 50:52
  will be told that you have dark entities attached
• 50:54
  to you and all of these. things and so it's scary
• 50:58
  for people but again that's not spirituality
• 51:01
  that's ego driven excuse my french bullshit and
• 51:06
  and i'll challenge anybody to that i do not believe
• 51:10
  in the do i believe in dark heavy thoughts that
• 51:16
  come to mind but i do not believe that an entity
• 51:20
  can attach to you and be there it's had any a
• 51:25
  client tell me that and in the end I'll find
• 51:28
  out through doing energy reading that what they
• 51:33
  feared was somebody coming after them was actually
• 51:36
  maybe an uncle for time like who's past you know
• 51:40
  great great great uncle who's coming to warn
• 51:43
  you about something that they're actually your
• 51:46
  guardian angel they're watching over you and
• 51:49
  they're warning you and In the interest of time,
• 51:52
  I won't go through the whole story, but there
• 51:54
  was, I got the whole story and I told the woman
• 51:58
  and she went, oh my God, that answers all the
• 52:00
  questions of what was going on in my house. And
• 52:02
  it was because her husband was up to no good.
• 52:06
  And every time he was up to no good, uncle so
• 52:10
  -and -so would come shaking up something, turning
• 52:13
  off the lights, whatever it was to get her attention.
• 52:17
  So to kind of go back to what you were asking,
• 52:19
  It is all vibration. It's all energy. And she
• 52:23
  probably was... Just to clarify, there's no such...
• 52:29
  You don't believe there are entities. It's just
• 52:31
  energy. And people are trying to understand it.
• 52:34
  So they kind of make it tangible and they call
• 52:37
  it an entity. Because that's something you can
• 52:39
  visualize more than something so abstract like
• 52:41
  energy. Yeah, I think so. Like I've had people
• 52:47
  say like... the reason they were doing all these
• 52:51
  things was because this dark entity made them
• 52:54
  do it. My perspective is this. My perspective
• 53:00
  is that's heavy energy, that's either you're
• 53:06
  struggling with mental health, that you really
• 53:09
  do need to talk to therapists. And I'm not saying
• 53:12
  they're crazy. What I'm saying is it's just super,
• 53:15
  like some really harsh life happenings are weighing
• 53:22
  on them. And because of that, they've turned
• 53:25
  those things into an avatar of a dark entity.
• 53:32
  And so I've had them come to me and I'll start
• 53:37
  talking about it. And like I said, then that's
• 53:40
  when I realized, no, it's kind of a combination.
• 53:43
  You're getting someone coming to you to tell
• 53:44
  you to beware or guide you. but all of these
• 53:50
  fears and scary traumas and all the things, you're
• 53:54
  attaching that to... Because sometimes we just
• 53:58
  need it attached to something, right? And so
• 54:01
  I kind of call it an avatar. So spirits, yes.
• 54:07
  Dark entities, no. Evil spirits, also no. No
• 54:11
  spirit is evil. I don't believe so. I don't believe
• 54:16
  so. maybe misguided. That's something I can give
• 54:20
  you. I think it's what we apply to them. Yeah.
• 54:28
  It reminds me a lot. Okay, I have a question.
• 54:30
  What is the show that... that relates to mediums,
• 54:37
  spiritual advisors, and so on. The TV show that
• 54:40
  you think is the most accurate representation
• 54:42
  of what you do. Well, I don't watch a lot of
• 54:45
  TV, but I would say John Edwards is a good one,
• 54:51
  because he's authentic. He's just this dude that
• 54:56
  just happens to have this, like the way he came
• 54:59
  about is as similar as I. And I think he's probably
• 55:07
  the one I respect the most. There's a guy on
• 55:10
  YouTube, I can't remember his name, Charlie.
• 55:15
  I want to hear that. I think you misunderstood
• 55:18
  my question. I'm talking about like a TV series,
• 55:21
  fictional TV show with a character. I'm sorry.
• 55:27
  Okay. So I'm trying to remember the name of the
• 55:30
  show. ghost maybe ghost whisper with yeah with
• 55:38
  jennifer love hewitt yeah that's what i was yeah
• 55:42
  as well that's what that would be the closest
• 55:45
  i could get yeah probably um just because of
• 55:49
  the way she got her information for all is like
• 55:53
  there were there were some it's a show for entertainment
• 55:56
  obviously there were some dark entities but overwhelmingly
• 56:00
  it was just spurts Trying to find their way back
• 56:04
  In a way and sometimes misguided Yeah, and I
• 56:09
  I've had like my brother -in -law was we lost
• 56:13
  him in a car accident and my sister was told
• 56:16
  by somebody That oh he's stuck on the side of
• 56:19
  the road his spirit stuck there. That's not how
• 56:22
  it happens. That's just not So he Everyone is
• 56:28
  on the other side when they leave Cool. That's
• 56:33
  also comforting. So, resonance, this is your
• 56:39
  topic, right? Yeah. I fully believe in resonance.
• 56:47
  I think that it's much harder for us to pick
• 56:50
  up on. But we are, in essence, the functioning
• 56:55
  of our personality, ego, higher self, everything.
• 56:59
  that happens within this body is a function of
• 57:03
  electromagnetism which is directly affected by
• 57:05
  the things around it. Yeah, there's that scientific
• 57:09
  element. Yeah, exactly. I don't know that it's
• 57:15
  measurable necessarily, but even if it's not,
• 57:19
  this is where my faith comes in. I think people
• 57:24
  just don't know how to be in tune with it. It's
• 57:28
  still such a... like an abstract concept. Like,
• 57:33
  you know, we can't see radio waves, but we accept
• 57:36
  them. But it's so hard to really understand this
• 57:40
  idea of resonance. Maybe it's because we don't
• 57:43
  have the capacity, not, well, I don't, have the
• 57:46
  capacity to, you know, see it, hear it, feel
• 57:51
  it, and use it as a tool. I think what people
• 57:56
  want, I think what people want, and I think this
• 57:58
  might be the ego, because I'm learning from Diane,
• 58:03
  we want power, we want control, kind of like
• 58:05
  superpowers, and it's bad. And it's not like
• 58:08
  that. It's much more subtle, I think. Yeah, and
• 58:12
  I think for me, in terms of reading people's
• 58:16
  energy, and I believe anyone who really comes
• 58:22
  from, I don't want to say traumatic lives, but
• 58:24
  you go through a lot of stuff. And life you and
• 58:28
  especially if you have anyone who substance abuse
• 58:32
  or just abuse of any kind. If you're around people
• 58:36
  like that, you pick up, you're very alert because
• 58:40
  of their, um, you never know what they're going
• 58:43
  to do from one minute to the next. Right. And
• 58:45
  their inconsistency. So you start to kind of
• 58:47
  pick up on energy and like, okay, I feel like
• 58:51
  they walked in the house and now I can feel that
• 58:54
  I. Learned over years to just pick up on that
• 58:58
  stuff and really lean learn that. Oh when I feel
• 59:02
  those that person acts like this or is this and
• 59:05
  so then I I've just started Intuitively just
• 59:11
  started using it like I wasn't taught. Yes This
• 59:14
  is all over the years and that's because I've
• 59:16
  been put in so many different places different
• 59:19
  jobs and stuff that I've just Been able to collect
• 59:22
  the ability and then school classes helped me
• 59:26
  hone it. I believe everybody has this ability.
• 59:30
  That was your original perspective. Everybody
• 59:33
  is as intuitive as you are. I believe that too
• 59:37
  because I told you, I don't know, a couple weeks
• 59:40
  ago we were out. We were out eating and I told
• 59:43
  you about, you know, I went to a psychic and
• 59:46
  he told me the same concept, you know, that like
• 59:49
  I have this. Are you going to tell that story?
• 59:53
  What's to tell, really? That's it, I just summarized
• 59:55
  it. You mean the story about how he predicted
• 59:59
  meeting you? Yes. And I did not know that, okay.
• 1:00:04
  Well I went to, like before I, like more than
• 1:00:07
  10 years ago, maybe 15 years ago, I went to,
• 1:00:11
  I like going to psychics and mediums back home,
• 1:00:14
  I like doing that, so I went often. And one of
• 1:00:18
  them, when I was young, he said, when you're
• 1:00:20
  older, you're gonna meet a man. He read playing
• 1:00:23
  cards. And so he chose, it was like, I don't
• 1:00:28
  know, a queen or a jack something, and he said
• 1:00:31
  like this one, this is a man you're gonna meet,
• 1:00:33
  but he doesn't want to be a man. He's got blue
• 1:00:36
  eyes, he likes to dress as a woman. His name,
• 1:00:40
  his name, it starts with a J. Don't say that
• 1:00:44
  name. I won't say that name. But it's Ruby's
• 1:00:49
  name. Yeah, it's my name. And I went through
• 1:00:52
  life meeting all these men with J's and having
• 1:00:56
  the same kinds of appearance and stuff, but I
• 1:01:00
  was like, oh, is this the guy? But it never really
• 1:01:05
  kind of fit until Ruby. But aside from that,
• 1:01:10
  this same medium told me, you have this... Intuition
• 1:01:16
  everyone has it and they should like hone it
• 1:01:18
  but he specifically told me I should practice
• 1:01:19
  it but It was just you know, too overwhelming
• 1:01:23
  to even consider doing but yeah, that's that's
• 1:01:26
  what That reminds me of And I mentioned You were
• 1:01:32
  talking about earlier, how did we about how do
• 1:01:36
  you know when you like hear your inner voice
• 1:01:41
  versus ego or something I would think Yeah, so
• 1:01:43
  my question to you is how do you know it was
• 1:01:46
  her? I don't really know it's her but I mean
• 1:01:49
  it everything No, but you do the lines with what
• 1:01:52
  he said. It's it's so I don't it's perfect versus
• 1:01:56
  the what? The others you met over a little time.
• 1:02:00
  Well, because they didn't they didn't do things
• 1:02:03
  like you know, they didn't address they didn't
• 1:02:05
  dress as Women they didn't do drag Their their
• 1:02:11
  beliefs Were different so obviously Ruby's transgender,
• 1:02:15
  but you know these other people I met you know
• 1:02:18
  are staunchly against Transgender so you know
• 1:02:23
  there and so that's why For years I was kind
• 1:02:27
  of like well could this be the person like there's
• 1:02:30
  some things that the medium said that aligns
• 1:02:32
  with that Maybe it's them, but then it just dawned
• 1:02:36
  on me only recently really Donning on you is
• 1:02:40
  what I was trying to get to you get you to get
• 1:02:43
  that moment Excuse me, because that's the feeling
• 1:02:47
  I'm talking about when you when you connect to
• 1:02:50
  you like like You may not think of it as that
• 1:02:54
  but it is that feeling when you Connect to your
• 1:02:59
  higher self and get the guidance and understand
• 1:03:01
  like ah It's really cool. And I don't think you
• 1:03:07
  told anyone before that story, right? I never
• 1:03:10
  told anybody that. Now that you've told me, it's
• 1:03:12
  kind of sealed. I think it's over. The prophecy
• 1:03:14
  is done. Yeah. I think I'm going to still go
• 1:03:17
  back home and look in all my old little notes
• 1:03:21
  and find that because I would go to the mediums
• 1:03:24
  and I would take notes as they're telling me.
• 1:03:26
  I'll try. I'll see if it still exists. I will.
• 1:03:30
  You can frame it. Okay. That would be cool. I
• 1:03:33
  mean what a full circle moment and that's awesome.
• 1:03:37
  Yeah, true. Yeah, cool I remember the first time
• 1:03:42
  I actually because I've been crossdressing for
• 1:03:45
  a very long time But secretly and then I was
• 1:03:51
  like, okay, it's Halloween And I'm gonna wear
• 1:03:56
  I'm just gonna wear wig because I don't like
• 1:04:00
  wearing silly, hella mean costumes. I want my,
• 1:04:05
  like the thing that drives me always has been,
• 1:04:08
  how do you do something authentically? And it's
• 1:04:11
  actually something that held me back from being
• 1:04:15
  authentic for a long time because I was like,
• 1:04:17
  if I'm, I don't want to be a parody of a woman.
• 1:04:24
  That would, that wouldn't be just. like in my
• 1:04:29
  mind, it needs to be, I don't know how to put
• 1:04:34
  it into words, an authentic experience, like
• 1:04:38
  not a parody. And for the first time, so that's
• 1:04:45
  why I would never wear like a Pikachu costume,
• 1:04:49
  because I just think it's stupid. But I got this
• 1:04:53
  like pretty realistic looking wig. And I just
• 1:05:00
  went to school in my normal school uniform, but
• 1:05:03
  I took my co -teacher's scarf. And then I was
• 1:05:07
  a girl. And she said, Oh, dressing in drag. That's
• 1:05:10
  cool. Did I say that? I don't remember this.
• 1:05:13
  I don't remember this at all. Was it this last
• 1:05:16
  year or last last year? The previous year. I
• 1:05:18
  really don't remember. Did I say it in like kind
• 1:05:21
  of like a... No, we were already becoming friends.
• 1:05:25
  Yeah. Well, I would hope I wouldn't say it with
• 1:05:27
  any kind of... Oh, no, it wasn't. It wasn't the
• 1:05:29
  mean spirit. Attitude. Yeah, mean spirit. I really
• 1:05:32
  don't remember that. Maybe that's because for
• 1:05:33
  me it's just so acceptable and normal. Yeah.
• 1:05:36
  For me, like, if I was like, okay, cool, I felt...
• 1:05:39
  I started feeling much more comfortable just
• 1:05:42
  talking to you. Yeah. Anyway... Yeah, it's a
• 1:05:49
  nice one, actually. I want to talk about... threshold
• 1:05:56
  moments. So I think that I actually did a vlog
• 1:06:02
  about this a couple of days ago. I think everybody
• 1:06:05
  goes through threshold moments in their lives,
• 1:06:08
  something that they cannot go back from ever.
• 1:06:11
  What are your biggest threshold moments do you
• 1:06:16
  think? Or what if you don't want to answer that
• 1:06:19
  question? What do you think is a threshold moment
• 1:06:22
  that people have to go through in order to achieve
• 1:06:25
  something? That's really tough. Me, I can't go
• 1:06:29
  back to, I left the business corporate world
• 1:06:35
  and although that was a career, it was bigger
• 1:06:39
  than that for me. It was my identity because
• 1:06:42
  I was doing that since I was 17. So when I left
• 1:06:46
  that, Um, I literally remember walking out that
• 1:06:51
  business, that office tour going, I'll never
• 1:06:53
  come back to this like ever, like the world of
• 1:06:56
  corporate. I didn't know why I knew that I just
• 1:07:00
  in my heart of hearts just knew I'll never go
• 1:07:02
  back to that, that world. Um, so that for me,
• 1:07:06
  it was a big threshold moment. It has taken time
• 1:07:11
  though, to accept that threshold moment. So I
• 1:07:14
  think that's another element of it all. What
• 1:07:17
  is the thing that happened that made you go,
• 1:07:20
  I'll never come back to this? Is it just when
• 1:07:22
  you walked out of the building? No, it was the
• 1:07:27
  35 plus years of inauthenticity and having to
• 1:07:33
  live and abide in a certain world, knowing it
• 1:07:37
  wasn't honest, was hurting people. In order to
• 1:07:44
  succeed, I would have to be Like more of what
• 1:07:47
  I didn't want to be. And so, um, yeah, that,
• 1:07:53
  that, and now to think about going back, which
• 1:07:56
  I did actually a couple of years ago and had
• 1:07:59
  an interview lined up and I just couldn't do
• 1:08:03
  it. My body and everything, the energy with it.
• 1:08:06
  I was like, nah. Can't go back. Plus I'm so sensitive
• 1:08:11
  now because of the energy. I feel like I can
• 1:08:13
  always go back to things. A threshold moment
• 1:08:16
  for me, something that impacted me greatly, I
• 1:08:19
  think, was, and this might sound really cliche,
• 1:08:22
  but the selling of my childhood home. So I really
• 1:08:26
  didn't want my mother to sell her childhood home.
• 1:08:28
  I wanted her to stay there forever. Because it
• 1:08:32
  was just, I guess it was maybe so comfortable.
• 1:08:37
  In retrospect, I don't think it obviously it
• 1:08:39
  was a good thing because it really that's what
• 1:08:42
  pushed me. To go overseas, which sounds really
• 1:08:46
  strange, but. I think that was finally a good
• 1:08:52
  excuse to say OK. Time to go because my whole
• 1:08:56
  family had just like left to the city that we
• 1:08:58
  were all in at that time. Wow, so there was and
• 1:09:02
  I just there was no point for me. staying there.
• 1:09:06
  And I always wanted to work overseas, so I thought,
• 1:09:09
  okay. I'm making it sound more positive than
• 1:09:12
  it is. It was pretty dramatic for me. It was
• 1:09:16
  scary, but yes, I did it. And now, the funny
• 1:09:22
  thing is all of my family has moved back to the
• 1:09:24
  same city. So, you know, it all worked out, but
• 1:09:28
  we still don't, like, our childhood home is not
• 1:09:31
  our childhood home. My mother has a new home.
• 1:09:34
  I can still walk on my old street, and I still
• 1:09:37
  look at my old childhood home. I don't know if
• 1:09:42
  I envy the people there, but there's definitely
• 1:09:45
  some kind of, what's the word, I don't know,
• 1:09:47
  pain. Nostalgia? Yeah, nostalgia, that's good.
• 1:09:48
  That's a good one for it. So I guess that's the
• 1:09:53
  threshold moment I can think of. Something over
• 1:09:55
  your phone. It changed you as a person. It did,
• 1:09:58
  because I really, like, growing up, I... In my
• 1:10:02
  hometown, I felt like my peers thought my hometown
• 1:10:05
  wasn't cool. They wanted to go and see the world
• 1:10:07
  and be in more cosmopolitan places. But me, I
• 1:10:11
  thought this is enough. So having to leave it
• 1:10:15
  was really painful. I was just so used to that
• 1:10:18
  comfort and I felt safe. It's hard for me to
• 1:10:21
  relate to. Yeah, I believe it's hard for a lot
• 1:10:23
  of people to relate to. Like I said, it sounds
• 1:10:25
  really like... cliche and kind of campy. No,
• 1:10:28
  I don't think it's cliche or campy at all. I
• 1:10:30
  have like deep empathy for that. And I wish that
• 1:10:36
  I could have a threshold moment like that. But
• 1:10:39
  I never cared about any place that I lived in.
• 1:10:44
  That's not a bad thing though. I think it is.
• 1:10:46
  I think it's good because I never felt like this
• 1:10:49
  is where I belong. Home is where the heart is.
• 1:10:52
  Yeah, sure. I miss, if I go to South Africa now,
• 1:10:57
  I miss China. This is my home now. But it's my
• 1:11:03
  home and so much as the people that I love are
• 1:11:06
  here. Obviously, I love my family too. But there's
• 1:11:17
  a disconnect and experience and understanding.
• 1:11:23
  that I think is absent in South Africa. Like
• 1:11:28
  this conservative state and culture and very
• 1:11:34
  kind of structured. It's very limited because
• 1:11:37
  in South Africa you can't... At 6 p .m. everything
• 1:11:40
  shuts down. Nobody's on the roads anymore because
• 1:11:43
  it's not safe. You can't go have a beer anywhere.
• 1:11:47
  I mean, I don't drink a lot. But when I want
• 1:11:53
  to, I want to be able to go out at 1 a .m. and
• 1:11:56
  do that. Why does it matter when you are allowed
• 1:12:00
  to do anything? Obviously, that's not a threshold
• 1:12:07
  moment at all. My threshold moment was the one
• 1:12:12
  that changed my life the most. There are a few
• 1:12:18
  factors here. and now I'm going to bring this
• 1:12:21
  all back to being trans. Being one of those people.
• 1:12:25
  Started cross -dressing during the time of, during
• 1:12:28
  COVID actually, more and more. Then when we moved
• 1:12:35
  to this, when I moved to this job, finally all
• 1:12:41
  of my like financial issues were solved. And
• 1:12:46
  so no more debt, savings. some expendable cash.
• 1:12:52
  And I was like, now I can authenticate, I can
• 1:12:56
  do justice to cross -dressing. Like it's going
• 1:12:59
  to be good. And I can go through all of these
• 1:13:03
  tests and make sure that it looks good. And I
• 1:13:06
  had the best time, but I would not have told
• 1:13:10
  anybody. I wouldn't have, if somebody said, are
• 1:13:12
  you transgender? I would be like, no, no, no,
• 1:13:15
  no way, not me. I was subconsciously looking
• 1:13:19
  or Yeah, I was conscious of the fact that I was
• 1:13:23
  doing this but in complete denial of the fact
• 1:13:26
  that I was doing it walking through pharmacies
• 1:13:30
  looking for misplaced pill boxes that had high
• 1:13:35
  levels of estrogen because none of them are RTC
• 1:13:37
  and then I met a guardian angel on a website
• 1:13:43
  and I was like I read your story. How did you
• 1:13:48
  do this? She transitioned during COVID. She's
• 1:13:51
  British. And she's like, this is someone you
• 1:13:57
  can contact. And I was able to get a box of pills.
• 1:14:02
  My threshold moment was going to the delivery
• 1:14:06
  station, picking up my box, opening it up, and
• 1:14:12
  taking out a box of bioidentical estrogen and
• 1:14:17
  it was like a lightning rod moment. Boom. There
• 1:14:20
  was no way I was gonna put it back ever. It was
• 1:14:24
  like, this is the thing. If anybody had given
• 1:14:30
  me that box at any time before in my life, it
• 1:14:33
  would have been the same thing. That was my threshold
• 1:14:36
  moment. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. And where
• 1:14:40
  did your threshold moment, so you have answers,
• 1:14:42
  but it's just a thought process. Where did those
• 1:14:45
  take us? Look where we are, look what you're
• 1:14:48
  doing, look who you are. Those threshold moments
• 1:14:52
  are kind of... Point, very true. Yeah. They're
• 1:14:58
  like catapults into the future. Embrace your
• 1:15:01
  threshold moments if you find a moment like that.
• 1:15:05
  Yeah. But I think there are also threshold concepts.
• 1:15:08
  What do you mean? Once you start... Being able
• 1:15:13
  to... It's kind of like the idea of theses ship.
• 1:15:17
  You can be afraid of changing parts of your personality
• 1:15:20
  in your life because you're afraid that you will
• 1:15:23
  lose your life. Yes. Yeah. But once you make
• 1:15:30
  peace with the idea that your ship is intrinsically
• 1:15:36
  the same ship as what the captain is on. If you
• 1:15:41
  take this captain onto another ship, that other
• 1:15:45
  ship is now the captain's ship. It's still you.
• 1:15:49
  It's still your ship. It doesn't matter how much
• 1:15:52
  you change the ship. It's still your life. Is
• 1:15:55
  that the higher self? I think that the captain
• 1:15:58
  is the higher self in a way. And the ego is the
• 1:16:02
  ship. Yeah, could be. I have to break that one
• 1:16:08
  down. That's big. However you want to do it.
• 1:16:10
  Okay. I wrote a poem about this. It's called
• 1:16:14
  The Nameless Ship. It's on my Instagram. You
• 1:16:17
  can go and check it out. Love it. I love the
• 1:16:20
  concept. Good analogy. Does the higher self control
• 1:16:24
  the ego? They're separate and the ego is just
• 1:16:28
  something that gets in the way. Yeah. To me,
• 1:16:32
  the ego is the human side. Because you know doesn't
• 1:16:36
  mean bad doesn't mean like well look at me It's
• 1:16:39
  it is like like I remember when I did my first
• 1:16:43
  reading and I felt bad about something and my
• 1:16:47
  instructor said Get the ego out of the way. So
• 1:16:51
  it's not and I'm like playing me and that's not
• 1:16:53
  you go I'm just trying to be nice and she's like
• 1:16:54
  that's ego and it is it's it's all It's with
• 1:17:00
  Our higher selves, our higher selves are the
• 1:17:03
  most honest parts of us. But the ego is the one
• 1:17:06
  that is kind of the shapeshifter, right? Like
• 1:17:09
  changes for however and then judges and makes
• 1:17:12
  all of that. So I don't know. That's just, to
• 1:17:16
  me, they're just separate, but yet connected.
• 1:17:19
  Yeah. It makes sense. Yeah. Maybe the ship is
• 1:17:24
  not the ego. The ship is the life. Maybe the
• 1:17:26
  captain is the ego and the higher self is the
• 1:17:30
  orders or the destination. We have to refine
• 1:17:35
  this. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Well,
• 1:17:41
  there's a duality there so I think that's the
• 1:17:44
  thing we need to at least acknowledge between
• 1:17:47
  higher self and ego. For sure. Are there any
• 1:17:50
  other questions? No, I'm done. Maybe I'm not.
• 1:17:55
  I mean, I can always have questions. Well, I
• 1:17:58
  appreciate you guys allowing me to spend time
• 1:18:01
  with you guys. I really enjoyed our conversation.
• 1:18:05
  It's so loose. That's fine. You guys are easy
• 1:18:07
  to talk to. And I love that you're so open because
• 1:18:10
  then it allows me to give and share. So thank
• 1:18:14
  you for doing that. Thank you so much for coming
• 1:18:19
  on to the podcast. Yeah. Super lovely. I'm always
• 1:18:26
  I'm always So I don't want to say worried I'll
• 1:18:31
  say skeptical of our podcast that that like we're
• 1:18:34
  not gonna have things to talk about but So far
• 1:18:37
  hasn't happened yet never happened. I don't know
• 1:18:40
  where Ruby finds everybody, but she delivers.
• 1:18:42
  I love it This is great My higher self is busy
• 1:18:46
  scouting while I dream. Yeah, I was really excited
• 1:18:50
  about that. Diane riser your sub stack is trust
• 1:18:57
  issues by Diane and your Company is oak and tusk
• 1:19:03
  guidance where you will take on clients or Spiritual
• 1:19:10
  advisory help with your skills as a medium and
• 1:19:15
  an intuitive and path My name is What kind of
• 1:19:23
  classes do you teach? Teach card reading classes.
• 1:19:27
  Everything I teach is about using your intuition.
• 1:19:30
  So I teach, and everything's virtual, but card
• 1:19:36
  reading. So Oracle or any card that has pictures
• 1:19:40
  on it really. I don't do the playing cards. My
• 1:19:43
  mother -in -law used to do that though. So it
• 1:19:45
  was funny, Luigi, you mentioned that. Yeah, I
• 1:19:49
  honestly, to me when I saw it. I thought, what
• 1:19:53
  a strange thing to use playing cards. That's
• 1:19:56
  a gift. That's a real talent. But so I teach
• 1:20:00
  card reading, and I also teach what I call intuitive
• 1:20:05
  class. And so it's about connecting to your intuition.
• 1:20:11
  And through that, people are often able to find
• 1:20:13
  that they can do readings, too. And I have people,
• 1:20:16
  by the end of all classes, they're doing reading.
• 1:20:18
  That is so cool. I'm going to ask you about your
• 1:20:21
  mother -in -law reading with cards when I come
• 1:20:24
  onto your podcast on the 22nd. For sure. Well,
• 1:20:27
  there won't be much. I never had her do it because
• 1:20:30
  she did it before I knew that. And she passed.
• 1:20:35
  So I never got a chance doing this work. I was
• 1:20:39
  in corporate when she left. I do get her energy
• 1:20:45
  this way, but I might be able to connect to her
• 1:20:48
  and get some answers. But yeah, I don't know
• 1:20:52
  a lot on this side about how that worked with
• 1:20:54
  her. Okay, I have one last question. It'll be
• 1:20:57
  quick. So I was talking to Ruby about this earlier
• 1:21:02
  before the show. We were talking about cards,
• 1:21:06
  and I was saying, I was showing her, I like...
• 1:21:10
  card reading and tarot cards and things like
• 1:21:13
  that. Now, do you think that the card matters?
• 1:21:18
  Because I know there are some people who think
• 1:21:22
  like if you read, if your tarot card is not the
• 1:21:26
  standard tarot card side, let's say, or it's
• 1:21:30
  not good, it doesn't count. Or do you think you
• 1:21:33
  can use any, anything, it just depends on your
• 1:21:38
  intuition and your energy and how you... Attune
• 1:21:40
  yourself with it and use it as a tool. Yes, so
• 1:21:46
  Tarot card readers people who are specific to
• 1:21:51
  tarot like that is a That's that's an intuitive
• 1:21:56
  thing. But also like that's a skill set like
• 1:21:59
  that's something they studied and really so There's
• 1:22:03
  different types of readers all That is a skill
• 1:22:06
  set. They've used all the above to do but what
• 1:22:10
  I like someone like myself I it does not matter
• 1:22:14
  because I I read intuitively so I'll just give
• 1:22:20
  you a really quick example is Like when I look
• 1:22:23
  at a card, so let's I Won't get your colorful
• 1:22:27
  ones Yeah, when you look at a card There's all
• 1:22:33
  kinds of things on the card, right? But when
• 1:22:36
  I read, what will happen is certain things will
• 1:22:39
  pop out to me and those certain things have different
• 1:22:42
  meanings. So like her butterfly wings, um, depending
• 1:22:46
  on who's in front of me and what energy I'm picking
• 1:22:49
  up, that might represent transition. It might
• 1:22:52
  represent growth. Um, it could different things
• 1:22:57
  I might pick up on the color. which is different
• 1:23:00
  chakra colors. I might go, oh, you know, you
• 1:23:02
  might be feeling something here. Let's dig into
• 1:23:05
  that. So it's that's how I work. And again, we're
• 1:23:09
  all different. And what's beautiful, what's so
• 1:23:12
  beautiful is I've had clients come to me and
• 1:23:14
  they're funny because they'll be like, so I went
• 1:23:16
  and saw a different psychic or I went and saw
• 1:23:18
  a different. Cool, because, yeah, you get different
• 1:23:23
  perspectives. And honestly, most the ones that
• 1:23:27
  are authentic readers will often be like the
• 1:23:31
  messaging will be the same as what I get maybe
• 1:23:33
  worded different or picked up different but the
• 1:23:35
  messaging is the messaging your guidance is your
• 1:23:38
  guidance it's not going to change yeah the delivery
• 1:23:41
  person might but if they're authentically reading
• 1:23:45
  then you'll always get pretty much the same information
• 1:23:49
  so I think it's a yes and no question answer
• 1:23:53
  to your question That medium I went to a long,
• 1:23:58
  long time ago that told me about Ruby, not only
• 1:24:01
  did he read just like playing cards, he also
• 1:24:06
  had this canister of tongue depressors and he
• 1:24:10
  drew a picture on each end of the tongue depressor
• 1:24:13
  and he read that as well. So he made me pick
• 1:24:15
  a certain number out and he laid another kind
• 1:24:18
  of card. Yeah, he definitely had his own. The
• 1:24:22
  message will come through. I have a friend in
• 1:24:25
  the UK. She makes her own cards Yeah, I have
• 1:24:30
  a woman that did a reading for me years and years
• 1:24:33
  ago Who was the one who said I would probably
• 1:24:35
  be doing this someday. She just used different.
• 1:24:37
  She had a bag of crystals and She would just
• 1:24:42
  pull depending on what the crystals were that
• 1:24:45
  she pulled out for her had different meanings
• 1:24:48
  and those meanings were, and her reading was
• 1:24:51
  beautiful. I'm gonna echo, okay. That's still
• 1:24:58
  here. Ruby disappeared. I'll be back in a second.
• 1:25:02
  She'll be back in a second. Okay, I think that
• 1:25:04
  went away. Okay, so that's what that is. So different
• 1:25:09
  people can read different things based on, it's
• 1:25:11
  intuitive. So then how can we, develop our intuition
• 1:25:17
  practices and so like with someone like Taking
• 1:25:22
  classes like I would love to have a class if
• 1:25:25
  you'd like to but Through classes and things
• 1:25:30
  that we do. Here's I'll give you just a few things
• 1:25:33
  that will help Sitting in a room or wherever
• 1:25:38
  sitting anywhere and either just observing and
• 1:25:42
  taking in and And not just watching, but you
• 1:25:46
  might tell a story and you just kind of pick
• 1:25:48
  up what's going on, right? So you're picking
• 1:25:51
  up all the nuances. You might not think it's
• 1:25:54
  much, but your brain is collecting data. Another
• 1:25:59
  thing I will do with my client or my students
• 1:26:01
  is I will have them just sit and feel what they
• 1:26:04
  feel and write it down. So don't think about
• 1:26:08
  it. Just feel what you feel. And I'll maybe do
• 1:26:12
  30 seconds or a minute and then they just write
• 1:26:15
  it all down. Oftentimes that feeling will connect
• 1:26:19
  to something else. But what I'm doing is I'm
• 1:26:22
  having them learn to feel vibrations and the
• 1:26:27
  minutia of it. And so I would have them go out
• 1:26:31
  and listen. Listening. You know, like you might
• 1:26:36
  hear a truck way off in the distance. So listen,
• 1:26:40
  can you imagine, can you think about where they're
• 1:26:42
  at and what that road looks like and just kind
• 1:26:44
  of start collecting data. And it tunes you really
• 1:26:49
  high. And also like I. people can easily pick
• 1:26:54
  up on tones of voices and stuff because they
• 1:26:57
  start, when you tune your ears, it's like accents,
• 1:27:00
  right? If you talk to somebody with different
• 1:27:02
  accents, it takes a little bit for your ears
• 1:27:04
  to tune in and then you can understand them perfectly.
• 1:27:07
  They can talk as fast as they want because your
• 1:27:10
  ears are tuned into them. So it's the same thing.
• 1:27:13
  I teach to tune into it and then every week we
• 1:27:18
  meet, there's another layer. But it's all about
• 1:27:21
  just... It's just honing what you already have.
• 1:27:24
  It's actually an easy job. I'm going to close
• 1:27:27
  the podcast here. I think it's a great spot.
• 1:27:30
  I'd like for you just to stay on the line after
• 1:27:33
  I stop the recording, if that's okay. Just make
• 1:27:36
  sure everything uploads okay. Diane, thank you
• 1:27:42
  so much for coming on to the podcast. I'm Ruby
• 1:27:47
  Radio. You can find me at fire from heat on Instagram,
• 1:27:53
  heat from fire on TikTok, and Ray Liu on YouTube.
• 1:27:59
  You can listen to this podcast at rsis .com slash
• 1:28:05
  kaleidoscope dash pod one. I'm Luigi. I live
• 1:28:08
  in a drawer. Great. I come out whenever Ruby
• 1:28:13
  needs me. Thank you, guys.