Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Iggeret Ramban: Cultivating Character Through Divine Presence and Torah Study 12.21.25
Transcript
- 0:00President Ban is talking to his son in this letter and he's
- 0:04developing a person's character. He continues with, you know,
- 0:09each line, each week. It feels like the most
- 0:12fundamental point. This is what is the powerful and
- 0:15this is where you open up with. These are his words in all your
- 0:22words and your actions. Words, actions, and thoughts.
- 0:27To see 3 makeups of a man. Those three, his words, actions,
- 0:31and what he's thinking at all times.
- 0:35You think in your mind as if you're standing directly in
- 0:41front of God, he says as if. Because although we really are,
- 0:45we don't see a sham right in front of our eyes.
- 0:48And not only he's standing in front of him, he's resting his
- 0:52shahina, his presence directly on top of me.
- 0:56Why should I imagine this Kiki Bodo Malayalam?
- 1:00Because Hashem's cowboy does fill the whole world.
- 1:03So Shakina is everywhere and then he's right in front of me
- 1:06and is on top of me. You and therefore your words
- 1:10will be the Emma Obia Kevin la Ferrabo.
- 1:16Your words told other people will be with levels of fear and
- 1:20awe, talking to another random person as if you're a servant in
- 1:24front of your master because of the fact that God is right
- 1:27there. So the Ramban is saying, I gave
- 1:30you all the steps of how a person develops good character.
- 1:34I explained to you the need for humility, explaining to you you
- 1:37need to talk softly. They need to keep your head bent
- 1:40down. Don't look in people's eyes,
- 1:41which means don't have levels of arrogance and don't be a person
- 1:46that has a sort of intimidating factor.
- 1:47Certain people, arrogant people, you walk into the room, they're
- 1:51intimidating. He talked down to you.
- 1:53Don't be any of that, because that develops a bit, makes you
- 1:56into a bad person. All those steps he gave us to
- 2:00lead us into becoming a fine person because then he comes now
- 2:03from left field in a sense and gives us an immediate something
- 2:09that makes us humble an immediate character change
- 2:12without all those steps without developing yourself in a regular
- 2:16way. Simply if you put our sham in
- 2:19front of you at all times. And if you're really aware that
- 2:22God is in the room and I'm Bond says that'll soften you down,
- 2:26making it a better person. As we said, you open up with
- 2:30these words, right? I place Hashem in front of me
- 2:36opposite me always. Now, why is this considered in
- 2:40his eyes such a significant and I said, I think you're about
- 2:44humbly. I think you're right.
- 2:45That's right. And that is, you don't even need
- 2:47all the steps if you use this concept wisely right there, if
- 2:51you have a shine in front of your eyes, it softens you and
- 2:54makes into a better person. Why?
- 2:55Very clearly imagine the feeling of God is right here and I say,
- 3:00I say something that's not smart, Hashem is right here.
- 3:04And I say something that doesn't make sense.
- 3:06Or I say something that just not so nice, or something that's
- 3:10strong, arrogant, insulting, right in the presence of Hashem.
- 3:15Imagine how embarrassed I would be.
- 3:18Imagine the shame I would have imagine the I would have to
- 3:22apologize as I say I'm sorry, Nikhila Hattati.
- 3:28I'm talking in front of God. I'm talking strong to another
- 3:30person. If I show much right here, I
- 3:32know that I'd be on my best behavior.
- 3:34You all know it is when little kids are getting to fight and
- 3:37the pair and walks into the room and all of a sudden the fight
- 3:40stops. All right, teacher catches on
- 3:43what's going on in the quest and the whole thing quiets down.
- 3:46Imagine even a rabbi is giving me a speech and if he looks and
- 3:50he sees who's the person who's talking?
- 3:52If people stop talking, right? So if God is in the room and
- 3:56he's seeing us doing something wrong, especially when it comes
- 4:00to one person shooting another person, we'd be very embarrassed
- 4:03to do it in front of Hashem. So if a person gets used to this
- 4:06idea and Hashem is in front of them at all times, it'll
- 4:10literally curb our behavior and make into a better behavior.
- 4:14The question is, this topic is actually very simple once apply
- 4:20the issue is getting used to this idea.
- 4:22How doable is it for an individual to really believe and
- 4:27to live with the mindset that Shimmer is right in front of
- 4:30him? How doable?
- 4:31It's not so easy. It's not so easy to just you're
- 4:34having I'm having a conversation with you and I think to myself,
- 4:37I have to watch what I say because Shimmer's right here.
- 4:39It's not that simple. This is something that takes
- 4:42practice. That means getting used to the
- 4:45idea that I have this shahina near me, getting used to it.
- 4:49Same way cavort of a shoe is something that takes practice.
- 4:55If you give a shoe cavort and you're the type person, when you
- 4:58walk into the shoe, you act with a certain love of respect.
- 5:01You have to build that type of respect.
- 5:04It's not something that comes natural.
- 5:06You have to build it. You have to perceive it that way
- 5:08and look at that way, and then you get used to it and then it's
- 5:10there. The same thing is true when it
- 5:14comes to recognizing that Hashem is right here.
- 5:16It's not so simple. It's something that takes repeat
- 5:20and repeat and practice and believing and imagining and
- 5:25saying to yourself, Shaheena is here.
- 5:27I have to watch what I say. Hashem is right in front of me.
- 5:29I wouldn't want to say something dumb in front of Hashem.
- 5:31I have to be careful. So it has to be something that
- 5:34takes practice. So it's really this trick I want
- 5:38to call a trick and then Aban is telling us is not does not take
- 5:43as much work as all the other examples that he gave us, being
- 5:46humble, talking softly, being nice to another person, giving
- 5:50respect to anybody. All those steps that he gave us
- 5:53those take work. This one is very simple, I
- 5:58think, however, it takes the initial step, which is the
- 6:01belief have to believe Hashem is right in front of I'm talking to
- 6:05you, car is right here talking to this room, Hashem is right
- 6:08here. If you get used to that mindset,
- 6:10I'm talking about not only in a shoe, not even only in your
- 6:14house, it could be you could be in the street.
- 6:17Hashem is right there. It could be in the store, Hashem
- 6:20is right there with you. It could be in the office.
- 6:22Carter's right there. You're talking about business
- 6:24and going back and forth. You're talking about sports.
- 6:26Does not matter. Hashem is right there at all
- 6:28times. If you absorb that concept, we
- 6:31would be careful and be careful to watch what we say.
- 6:35That's Part 1. The second part is the heavens
- 6:39are here, he says. Another element, the klot Batura
- 6:44Tamit. I said to call the Kaima another
- 6:47way to develop character again. These are for today 2 tricks.
- 6:51The first trick is Shibuya Shamim and Nikita meet.
- 6:54Put it in front of my eyes at all times.
- 6:57The other trick and I'm calling a trick because it's a race to
- 7:00the finish line. It doesn't take as many steps as
- 7:03all these other weeks took. What's the second trick?
- 7:06Like a developed character, he says.
- 7:08I guess learn, learn. If you sit and you read Torah
- 7:15here and there, you have a daily schedule of learning.
- 7:18You will get and develop character.
- 7:21I have noticed something over time that cannot be explained
- 7:25besides for experience, and that is this, people who sit and
- 7:29learn. I'm not even talking about
- 7:30learning Messiah Shaheen, which we do every day, which is very
- 7:32important. I'm not thinking about learning
- 7:35Havot de la Vot, learning Moussa, learning from this
- 7:38rabbi, that rabbi going to a class, someone who sits and has
- 7:41a daily learning schedule. If you compare them talking
- 7:44about real people, don't don't give me the example of the guy
- 7:47you saw on TV, someone who sits and learns.
- 7:50Actresses learn all day or we go no, a little bit every day.
- 7:54His character becomes that much more developed.
- 7:59And the other person who doesn't have that daily schedule, why
- 8:04first he said let me read you his words before I tell you my
- 8:06point there is I hear you should make sure to read to it and read
- 8:10it in the way they able to fulfill it.
- 8:12They can Sheta cool when I suffered when you get up from
- 8:15the book to capes by Shayla Malta, analyze what you learned
- 8:20and try to find something you can keep from what you learn.
- 8:23That means we're learning about damaging every morning.
- 8:25It's hard to find something you're going to keep from that,
- 8:28but still trying to find something that applies Imyesh
- 8:31Bodavaja to Halakai more of you have something there that you're
- 8:34able to fulfill. Try to analyze and say, I want
- 8:37to take a take away, but here's my point.
- 8:40My point is is that when you sit and you have a daily schedule,
- 8:44I've seen this and I'm very confident about this point.
- 8:47Not every point that you say are we confident about.
- 8:50This is something I'm extremely confident about.
- 8:52I've seen that people who have a daily learning schedule develop
- 8:57more fine characters. So now you say, and I say I know
- 9:01why? Because he learned about life
- 9:02and he knows about life and he applies it.
- 9:05That's true, absolutely true. But that's not the only shot.
- 9:09The better shot is much deeper than that.
- 9:11When a person sits and learns something every single day,
- 9:17listens to a class, whatever may be, what happens is you move
- 9:21into a different zone. Couple elements.
- 9:24Part number one is you become a thinker.
- 9:27Half the things that we do wrong in life is we do them because
- 9:30they're not thinking properly. We're just reactionary.
- 9:33We're just fighting. We're just talking.
- 9:35We're just saying things. If you were a thinker, I had a
- 9:38conversation with someone last night about something political.
- 9:41He told me and he's such a great line.
- 9:43He's I can guarantee you all those politics would go away if
- 9:47those people would just sit and break a book, just open up a
- 9:51Gemara. I believe all those politics
- 9:53would go away. He said, and he said in a strong
- 9:55way, but he's absolutely right. Why?
- 9:57Because they get so off track. People get so off track in their
- 10:01ways of thinking. Partially it's reactionary posse
- 10:04is the race of the cupboard. All those other issues that come
- 10:07up, all the emotions and the weak thoughts and the weak words
- 10:10that come out of us all because we're not thinking.
- 10:13When a person becomes a thinker, they become a much finer person.
- 10:18And I've seen this and it's one of my most confident opinions
- 10:21that I have. And that is when someone learns
- 10:25even a little bit, the more they do, the better, but even a
- 10:27little bit every day, they become a thinker.
- 10:30When you're a thinker, everything you do is more fine.
- 10:33Because at our core wall good people, at our core wall fine
- 10:38people. The issue is when we do things
- 10:40surface, when we do things reactionary, our finest doesn't
- 10:44have a chance to show. But if we learn we become
- 10:47thinkers or we become thinkers, then everything we do is with
- 10:51that thought. And when you do things with the
- 10:54right thought, you're going to be a good person.
- 10:56You're going to display the better version of yourself.
- 10:58So you have a chance. Either I display the reaction, I
- 11:01part of myself, not thinking, emotion, race with cavort,
- 11:05temptation, all the regular stuff, and I say funny things
- 11:08and I do funny things, or I use the inner part of myself to the
- 11:13core part. How do I bring out the core
- 11:16part? If I learned every day I become
- 11:19a thinker. When I become a thinker, then
- 11:21everything that comes out of me comes from thought and that
- 11:25becomes a better version of myself.
- 11:27That's a deep point, but I hope you understand it, Charles.
- 11:29The point makes sense and I think you've seen it.
- 11:32If someone has learning, they have the ability to become a
- 11:35thinker and they analyze everything differently and
- 11:38analyze their words differently. That's Part 1, Part 2, when this
- 11:42will close, and this is much more powerful.
- 11:44The reason learning and having a schedule makes into a more fine
- 11:49person. And I'm going to tell you what I
- 11:50mean. 100 years ago or so, there was a big dispute in the yeshiva
- 11:54world. Do they need to learn Musar,
- 11:57Messiah, Shaheen Hovote Levote? Do they need to learn Musar?
- 12:01Some yeshiva said no. They said any Musa that you
- 12:05learned to be to Torah. Other yeshiva said absolutely,
- 12:08yes, I go to yeshiva today that they write on the on the
- 12:12headline, they write the words that yeshiva built on Torah
- 12:15Vida, which means they believed like, you know, there's yeshiva
- 12:19called Torah Vadas in Brooklyn. Torah of Adas is called that
- 12:22because they held they have to have learned Gemara Torah.
- 12:25And that means Musar, that means thinking.
- 12:28So there was a big dispute, but part of the dispute was some
- 12:31rabbi said just sitting and learning every day without even
- 12:36trying to learn about life, just learning.
- 12:38It'll make you a fine person. You don't need to throw in the
- 12:40moussard. Others disagree.
- 12:43It was a back and forth. Today, the yeshiva world has
- 12:45settled on a balance. The balance is 90% camera, 10%
- 12:51moussard, even less moussard. That's the balance.
- 12:54OK, I'm fine, but I'm telling you even just learning something
- 12:58not life related, just learning anything, it makes into a finer
- 13:02person for two reasons. A because it makes into a
- 13:05thinker and B because, and this is real, when a person learns
- 13:11anything they bring in Hashem's way of thinking into their mind.
- 13:17Part of the reason we discuss everything every morning, we
- 13:19learn about damaging and we always open up with the Gemara
- 13:22and usually we fight about it because an American law laws was
- 13:27to go one way and then the Gemara, it's usually the
- 13:29opposite. What are you doing when you're
- 13:31learning Kamara? You're you're basically tying
- 13:34your brain down a little bit and you're opening up to Hashem's
- 13:37brain. The goal is that they fuse
- 13:39together eventually and you and Hashem become one and your way
- 13:43of thinking and God's way of thinking becomes one.
- 13:46But when you sit and learn every single day, you start to think
- 13:50and everything you say comes from thinking and you start to
- 13:52think like God and that is the level you want to have.
- 13:56You start to think like Hashem. I'll give you an example.
- 13:59When the Galana Villano was asked any question, he just sit
- 14:02down and say, let me learn a couple hours and then I can
- 14:05answer your question. All the great rabbis, the reason
- 14:09to have the right answers does not come because they studied
- 14:13the math book. It doesn't come because they
- 14:15studied medicine. A lot of them know that stuff
- 14:17too. But the reason they have the
- 14:18right answers is because they try to think like Hashem.
- 14:22And how do you think like Hashem when you sit and learn his
- 14:26thought? So if you take God's thought
- 14:28into your mind, your mind and his mind becomes one.
- 14:31And he started to think like God.
- 14:32The idea of asking a rabbi a random question.
- 14:35Now my humble opinion is when he asks rabbis these questions, you
- 14:38don't guide the rabbi. So many people out there give me
- 14:41a sidebar. So many people out there ask
- 14:43rabbis, and I'm talking about even respectable people ask
- 14:47rabbis. It's all sketch.
- 14:49They ask a rabbi and they guide their question.
- 14:52You have to be very real when you talk to rabbi.
- 14:55You have to be leaving the question up to him and saying
- 14:59let me see what he has to say. You don't have to go with it all
- 15:02the time. I'm telling you to go with.
- 15:03You have to have your own way of thinking, but you have to ask
- 15:05him and trust him. Don't guide him.
- 15:08I've seen it so many times, guarded.
- 15:10That means they ask you out by a question and they lead him on a
- 15:13certain way, the back end, or they ask a certain way, lead him
- 15:16on a certain way. They show him some of the
- 15:18details. There's only half the cards and
- 15:20they lead him a certain way. That's a sketch.
- 15:22Or they ask the rabbi who they know is pro a certain angle and
- 15:25they ask him that question. That's also such when you're
- 15:28asking the rabbi, you looking to ask Hashem, you're trying to ask
- 15:32your modern day version of talking to Hashem.
- 15:35So that means let me get Hashem's way of thinking to come
- 15:39out. And if you do it properly and
- 15:41it's the right Rabbi and the right way of asking, you will
- 15:44get sehel and you will get the right mindset.
- 15:47And when they used to say ruach ha kodesh, what they meant was
- 15:50really this a fuse of God in that rabbi's mind.
- 15:54Why? Because he sat and learned all
- 15:57day, not because he learned that answer.
- 15:59He don't look up the answer, he'll look up the shot.
- 16:02And how we used to do in the office when you have this
- 16:04situation going on. He learned Kamara and somehow he
- 16:07came up with the answer. So the Ambati is telling us,
- 16:11telling his son, if you want to become a fine person, first of
- 16:15all, put a share in front of you at all times.
- 16:17But second of all, sit down and learn something, anything that's
- 16:22holy and let it go into your mind.
- 16:24See you when you're done the learning.
- 16:25If you can take away something, if you kind of great.
- 16:28And even if you cannot take anything practical from what you
- 16:30learned that day, recognize the fact that you are making
- 16:34yourself into a thinker, which is a very powerful existence.
- 16:38Being a thinker will allow you to look at so many situations
- 16:41and say, I'm not going to do that.
- 16:43I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to get involved in
- 16:45that. That looks ridiculous because
- 16:47you're a thinker and you also have the beauty of Hashem in
- 16:51your mind. When you have Hashem in your
- 16:52mind, you're not just a thinker. You're someone who thinks
- 16:55correctly and you're actually going to say things that make
- 16:58sense and say things that are productive and do things that
- 17:01have value because you're thinking like God.
- 17:04And I'm telling you, I don't know if this point is
- 17:06articulated fully clearly, but I believe this in my heart of
- 17:10hearts. You look around people who sit
- 17:13and learn. I'm talking about good people
- 17:14who say and learn and they let it come in properly.
- 17:17They do so much more development in their mind than people who
- 17:21are not willing to learn. Why?
- 17:23Because they're allowing Hashem to come in.
- 17:25They said, I'll give you an example, close this, I'll give
- 17:28you an example when I see you certain learning people get
- 17:32involved in this, right? They can get involved in giving
- 17:37away 10s, even hundreds of thousands of dollars.
- 17:42I've seen it all the time. I've seen a lot now and they
- 17:44gave away so much money. There's no coverwood involved.
- 17:47There's no organization involved.
- 17:50There's no publicity involved. There's no regular things you
- 17:53have to hoops you have to run through involved.
- 17:55They find a needy person, they get them the money and that's it
- 17:59and they do it right. And I've seen the difference
- 18:01between has it from those who know Twitter and has it from
- 18:05those who have no knowledge of today is a different has it now,
- 18:08you would say? What do you mean?
- 18:09Charity is charity. Kindness is kindness.
- 18:12It's all the same kindness. No, when the guy has the right,
- 18:15the right type of secha, he does charity and he hits the spot.
- 18:20When the guy doesn't have the right secha, he might be a
- 18:22generous man, but he'll waste his money on the wrong
- 18:26organization or do it in a way that makes the Arnie embarrassed
- 18:30or do it away. That's off.
- 18:31Why 'cause he doesn't have that secha.
- 18:34And it's an unbelievable difference when you develop that
- 18:37secha, which we all are working on, when you develop that secha,
- 18:40it becomes a complete and perfect person and everything
- 18:44you do is in the track of correct.
- 18:46I'll stop by this. Go ahead.
- 18:48Look about this. That's how come we don't know.