Latest / ok storytime / My boyfriend LIED about being ADOPTED, and I caught him! | Reddit Stories | EP3084

Transcript

My boyfriend LIED about being ADOPTED, and I caught him! | Reddit Stories | EP3084 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Riley, your favorite OK Storytime host. And
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we got some great stories coming up. But before that,
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: keep this show alive.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: My boyfriend lied about being adopted, and I caught him.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Ha ha! You're going down, buddy! I, of 21 female,
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: suspected my boyfriend's 25 male story ever since I met him.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: But I thought I was being unnecessarily skeptical, questioning of
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: someone's traumatic upbringing. Daph made a big deal of it.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Until yesterday. We were visiting his parents, and I was
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: making chit-chat. You know how we do. As parents are
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: prone to do.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: Oh, okay, she says that.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: His mother starts talking about when he was a kid.
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: Which was odd.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: Because he told me he came to this country at 11.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: And was adopted by these people at 12. I didn't
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: call it out, but I asked some questions to verify
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: for myself. Like, wow, how old was he then?
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: And such.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: Boyfriend has gone very, very quiet as we're talking. We
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: had to leave shortly after, and I wait for him
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: to make the first move when we're in the car,
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: which he does.
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: Ugh.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I hate it when they do that. They fabricate my
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: mother's stories and tell them as.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: If it were their own. What?
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: That was the worst lie I've ever heard.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: Sorry.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Come on, dude. Do better.
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: Wait. So... They were having dinner.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: So they were at, OP and her boyfriend were at
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: his parents' house. And they start telling a story from
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: when OP's boyfriend was a kid. And OP has been
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: told by boyfriend that he didn't get adopted until he
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: was 12.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: And so his parents are going, oh, yeah, he was
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: like a seven or he was.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: 10 or something.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: And she goes, oh, yeah. And then she gets in
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: the car and Opie's boyfriend goes, yeah, my parents are
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: always lying.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: Oh, what a freak. Nope. Weird. Nope.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Immediately.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: I'm out. I can't do lying. And then Opie goes, wait, what?
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: Someone has something to say.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: It is not okay to lie about being adopted.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: It's not.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: That create a fabrication of your life. And in result,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: people don't trust you.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: That's so true, Riley. That's so true. Thank you, Robo Riley.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: Riley, also, I have so much ginger for you. I
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: have a giant box of ginger that I need to
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: get rid of.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I want to know the reason why he's lying. Like,
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: does he just want to be cool? Like, I would
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: love to be cool. I always hated when, like, we
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: went around the class, like, and we were, like, in
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: fourth grade or something. No, and they were always like, oh,
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: I was born in Michigan. Oh, I was born in, like,
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: you know, somewhere else. And you were just born in Ohio.
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: Just like everyone else. I was like, now look at me.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: Look at me. Nobody's born in Ohio anymore. Let's see
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: why Opie lied. Or Opie's born to lie. Oh, someone
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: has something to say. Yeah, okay. Robo Riley's turn.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I am okay if he is lying about being adopted
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: to save himself from getting f * * * ed
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: from the government.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Okay. Is true. I guess so is true. Yeah, but
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: why would he?
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: OP says, where did they get the stories from?
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Her boyfriend goes, her diary.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: Where is that diary now? In a bank box in
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: the Capitol. Why would they do that?
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: Because they don't want to tell people I'm adopted.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: No point in lying to me, though, since I would
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: obviously have been told. Yeah, well, I did notice that
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: she never specifically mentioned herself in that story. Yeah, she.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: That was the whole conversation that they just had.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: God. Why?
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: We talked a little. Mostly, I was quiet, digesting it all.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Thing is, I've always suspected his story to be BS.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: Because it is.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Because it sounds like BS.
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: Because that's exactly what it is.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: It's too improbable. Too much sob. He's actually from the US.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: His real parents and brother passed away in a house fire.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: No relatives wanted him. And he was abandoned in an airport.
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: What?
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from, congrats, it's Allie. And
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: the r slash showcase story time subreddit.
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: I'm Savannah.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I'm Riley.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily. But we
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we know.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: So if you know something more, prove it. NOP continues.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: Before I left the car, I told him that I'd
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: love him even if his parents were telling the truth.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: And he went to work. Late shift. When he came back,
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: he told me the truth. I don't think that's a
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: promise you can make, though. I'd love you even if
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: you were lying to me this whole time. I feel
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: like she doesn't mean that.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't. I'd be like, so tell me or we're
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: breaking up. And then after you tell me, I'm going
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: to break up with you anyway.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: Showed me his birth certificate and some photos. Told me,
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: who knows, a story about why he's been lying for
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: the last... 10 years. He was punted out or ran
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: away from home when he was 15 and lived in
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: a friend's basement for a half a year. When there
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: was talk of getting CPS involved, he lied and has
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: kept it up ever since. He even changed his very
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: traditional name to an English one and explained it by
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: saying his parents forcibly renamed him to make him fit in.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: And he decided to take his name back. We talk
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: English together because he says it makes him more comfortable.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: He told his parents and family he changed his name
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: because he didn't like it. I still mean what I said.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: I care for him, even though he's been lying. I
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: said it doesn't change the fact that he's a kind, hardworking,
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: caring person, and I made the demand that he see
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: a psychiatrist, and that he just has to suck up
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: the price because his mental health is more important. Small edit,
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: which he agreed to do, but is this nuts? He
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: wanted to buy a house since before we met, and
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: we had a talk about how the house should fit
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: us five years ahead. He visited his parents to show
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: them the one he set on. I really want some
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: outsider perspective here, and I'm not ready to expose him
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: by talking to my friends about this yet. What do
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: you guys think? We've got relevant comments. What do you think, Savannah?
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: I'm still confused by this story.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: I don't even get what his response was.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: He said, oh, well, I was punted out by my
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: parents at 15 years. And CPS involved.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: So I had to lie about being adopted?
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: I don't believe that. Now, who is he with now?
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: He's with his parents. Yeah. So he's back with his parents.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: I think he's lying. And has a good relationship with
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: them now? Yeah.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: I think he's lying.
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: Still, even the story that he gave doesn't make any sense.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: Because this is what I have written down. Boyfriend ran
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: away from home. Yes. He stayed at his friend's for
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: a year and a half. CPS got involved. And then
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: boyfriend changed his name.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: And went back to live with the parents.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Which doesn't make any sense. So what, what are you,
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: you're just a different persona now? Yeah. Like is that,
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: that's the only, and it seems like he originally maybe didn't,
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: he's saying that he, his like first language was not English,
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: but they speak English at home because he's more comfortable.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: I feel like he's lying. I feel like he doesn't like,
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: have you ever seen him speak another language? I need that.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: That's a question I need answered. Does he speak another language?
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: I'm not buying anything this man says truthfully. Still, even
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: the explanation makes no sense. It doesn't make sense. So
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: I'd just be like, all right, apparently you don't want
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: to tell me. Go on, live a life of lies.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: Leave me out of it.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: OP replies to a comment, he had no problem lying
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: to literally everyone. He made that clear when he changed
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: his name. This is absolutely the case of a lie
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: spiraling out of control, like you say. I don't think
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: you saw that he did come clean. He did this
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: on his own when it became clear that I was
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: wise to it. I did not specifically call him out
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: on it. He's already agreed to see a psychiatrist. Oh,
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: that was OP responding.
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: Somebody has something to say.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: This would be the only reason I would be okay
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: with Angie lying to me. If my girlfriend said she
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: was working all the time and that is why she
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: can't see me all the time and she was covering herself.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: But the truth is that she was superhero. I would
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: have to really look within myself and think about more
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: than just myself. And so many factors would go into it.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: In the end, our relationship would mean more than just
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: being together with ourselves. IT will have the potential to
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: save more lives than our own.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: So true.
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: So if, if he's covering up because he was a superhero,
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: it'd be good. It's good. Then I'd be like, all right,
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: all right.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Well, maybe we'll learn that.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: Vengeance pigeon says my personal gut feeling is that he's
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: still lying.
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: His new story doesn't make much more sense than the
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: old one.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: And the blind one says CPS didn't get involved. His
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: friend's parents threatened to get, yeah, yeah. There was talk
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: about getting CPS involved, but like still doesn't make sense.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Like he has a good relationship with his parents. Now I, Yeah,
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: so he just ran away and then came back.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah. It really doesn't seem like it's a trap. I mean, yeah,
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: that sucks. But why'd you have to lie? Yeah, his
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: parents wouldn't have a... I feel like.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: They'd be more hesitant to talk about his childhood. Yeah.
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: They seemed so happy.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: Right? I clocked that as well. OP says, you're right.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: I'll see if I can get some verification on this
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: one as well. If he's lying about his parents being
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: harmful as well, I can't possibly stay. I honestly, I
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: wonder if this is some sort of like maybe he
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: has like bipolar or some other, you know, thing.
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: Compulsive liar.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, compulsive lying, something like that. Because I have known
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: people who were going through like a manic episode and,
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: you know, lied a bunch about stuff like this. So
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: I'm wondering if this is maybe, has he done it? Well,
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: I guess he's been lying this whole time. So like
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: did that, you know, what's going on? I would want
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: to look into it more. Edit says, scratch all that
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: about trying to be understanding and crap. Turns out he
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: is a compulsive liar.
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: Boom!
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: Wow, this is kind of like... one of the first
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: times I've been right, I think. I don't... You gotta
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: have been right before.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: Maybe.
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: I don't know. It feels like the first time. It
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: feels like the biggest win.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: And I barely know a single true thing about him.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: This is like the sixth sense, where you've had a
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: weird feeling all through the movie, and at the end,
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: you get that aha moment. That explains everything.
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: Oh God. This is the Prestige X, actually.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: I'm currently at my friend's house and honestly a little hungover.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: I'll make a proper edit later. We've got an update.
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: Let's find out. Yeah, I got to know what this guy,
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: what is he been lying about? It's probably the dumbest
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: thing ever. I feel like his family was actually really good. Yeah,
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: and he's just like, I want a tragic past, but
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: I just didn't get that. So I have to make
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: one for myself.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: I was trying to write my school, like my college thesis.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Like when you're applying to call the application letter. I
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: was trying to write my application letter, but I didn't
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: have a good enough story. I had to drive over
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: to his this morning to get my work uniform and
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: all my other stuff while I was at it. Okay,
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Billy says, if Sam were here, he'd tell us about
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: his ex on the skirt. He would.
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: He would say that. I don't even know what that means.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: He just had an ex who lied about a dress.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: And he was like, why did you lie about that?
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: He keeps telling me we don't have to break up.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: He loves me and wants to change for me. He's
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: got to stop it. Seek therapy. Fess up to everyone.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: I have zero second thoughts about breaking up.
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: All of these.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: Things are nice things to do, sure, but I'm not
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: going to stick around to watch. Yesterday, after writing this
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: and reading your responses, I went to visit him for
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: his lunch break, as we had already planned. And I
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: asked him straight up, was there anything else he had
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: lied about? He said, um, no, nothing that you could
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: think of. So I decided to help refresh his memory.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: Anything I had doubts about, but never called him out on.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: Other things he has lied about. Being sent to Afghanistan
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: as his army service. Dude, we read another story with
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: Kwesi about someone who I think also lied about going
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: to Afghanistan. Am I crazy? Or maybe it was just deployed.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: Guys, uh, I'm about to confess something really crazy right now.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: I was also deported. I also was deported. Deported? Sorry, sorry.
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: Deployed to Afghanistan. I was deported back to Afghanistan. You're
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: from Afghanistan?
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: The whole time you could have told everyone. What are
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: they over there? Afghanistanian. Afghanistanian. Is it? That's what I am.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Afghanian.
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: Rebel Riley says no.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: I think it's Afghanian.
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: Afghanian. Afghan? They are. Is it just Afghan? Called. Nope.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: Number one, being sent to Afghanistan as his army's service.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: He's never been there. Number two, owned part of a
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: small business importing cognac. No, his dad did. Number three,
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: he and his brother bought his parents their house. No,
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: he just helped them put down the floors. Number four,
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: owns three cars. One he bought for his father and
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: one for his brother.
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: Just, no.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: That wine he served me on our third date was
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: wildly expensive and amazing. Something that had gone down as
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: one of her cute stories because I later told him
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: I didn't even like red wine. In reality, it's a
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: sort of nice one bought on holiday by, once again,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: his dad. Number six was inches away from passing away
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: when his crazy stalker ex stabbed him in the lower
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: stomach area and she was sentenced to six months forced
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: psychiatric care. Oh my goodness. He's now saying that she
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: did stalk and stab him, but it was only a
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: flesh wound. Liar. He never even filed a police report.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: This is the story he told the first time we met,
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: and it was absolutely horrifying. The amount of gruesome detail
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: I got. He has since repeated it several times while
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: in my company to my friends and his, and this
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: is effed up. That is insane. We just got freaking
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: like six insane lies. That he has lied about. Like,
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: big lies that he has lied about. Riley has something
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: to say.
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: Oh, by Riley. And.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I have a cousin who is a compulsive liar. He
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: just feels like he needs to lie about stuff. His
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: dad was the same way up until he went to jail.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I only lie about things to make a certain scenario
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: funnier or making a joke punch up with a bit
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: of pseudo-facts about my life.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Yes!
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: And those are all right.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: And that's A-OK in my book.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah. But as Christina says, he's still lying on his lies. Yeah,
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: he's adding layers to his lies. Yeah. A cake of lies.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: I wrote them all down. One, two, three, four, five,
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: six so far. And I'm sure there's others. But I mean, like,
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: I just don't. Do you want to be more in? Christine? Yeah.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: I think, well, it's also a compulsive thing, as he said.
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: And as you said, just like. So sometimes it's like.
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: There is no reason. It's like you could say, like
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: my sister exaggerates stuff. My older sister, when she tells stories,
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: she exaggerates. But she isn't like, lie. She's not like,
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: this happened and that never happened.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my dad, my mom has an eternal gripe with
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: my dad because she thinks that he always exaggerates his stories.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: And it was a whole thing growing up where my
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: aunt would be like, well, he would sometimes just make
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: up things to see if, because my aunt is really gullible,
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: to see if she would believe it.
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: And she always did. It was great.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: And then my mom would be like, he's not telling
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: the truth. But now he doesn't do it as often anymore.
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: But because all of that history, people still don't believe him. Yeah.
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: You make your name for yourself. That's my grandpa's. His
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: nickname was Fibber. Yeah.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: My dad.
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Frank the Fibber.
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Mine was Michelangelo. But Fibber for short.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Oh. I'm still learning more, but I'm ready to go
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: no contact and have wiped my hands of the whole relationship.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: I'm glad I found out now. A little conflicted on
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: whether I should tell his parents, since I have no
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: faith he'll do.
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: It on his own.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: But I'm not sure the relationship could ever snap back
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: from that. We got final comments. OKBillyTime says, Sophia told
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: Sam false facts growing up, though. I did, but that
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: was for fun. And I always told them they were fake.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: It would go something like this. I'd say, Did you
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: know this random fact? And he'd go, oh my God,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: that's so cool. And I'd be like, well, it's not true. No,
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: my brother does that all the time. It's so fun.
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: He's just like, no, no, no. This is how you
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: do it. It's kind of an improv. No, it's not.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like an improv thing. It's like an
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: improv exercise. How far can you go to get someone
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: to believe a fact? Because you have to make up
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: the fact. You're Gemini? No.
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: Cancer. Yeah, my brother's Gemini, which means he's two-faced. Which
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: means he immediately is like... I'll tell you to your face. No, no, like,
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: this is how it is. But then he's like.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: I'm like... I mean, it's just stupid. Why lie?
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Well, you are making lying a theater exercise.
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I am. Lying a theater exercise.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: You should try it out as improvisers.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: Like, you see.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Okay, so first you have to come up with it. Like,
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: you can't pre-plan it. You gotta come up with it
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: on the spot. And then you just, like, you just, like,
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: literally pull it out. Like, you're like, did you know
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: that the sun used to go behind... You just have
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: to make something up. And then you have to explain it.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: Pull it out of your butt. And then you also
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: have to not laugh. Sometimes that part, that one's hard
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: for me.
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah. Because I laugh. But if you do laugh,
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: then you have to convince the person that you're just
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: laughing at them.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Because how did they.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: Not know that? Not this Gemini. But we got a
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: little bit left.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I think that you don't have enough sweaters for a
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: girl that lives in California.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: That's a lie. Now that's a lie. Because I've got
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: tons of sweaters.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: I have sweaters, too. I just never really wear them.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: I wear so many sweaters.
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: Because it's pretty hot. Pretty hot here, you know?
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: When asked to clear up the name, adoption, and English
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: speaking from the original post, I changed a few details
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: to obscure our identities in case anyone he knows reads this.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: But I don't care about protecting his lies anymore. We're
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: in Norway. He said he was adopted from the UK.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: Changed his name to an English one when he was 21.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: and explained to people that it was his original name
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: from before he was adopted, that his parents had renamed
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: him to a Norwegian one when he came here. In reality,
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: he's born and raised in the same little city as me.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: OP on why she never questioned anything. It feels so
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: terrible that these were such traumatic stories that I wanted
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: to help and support him because it was all so tragic. But,
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: you know, it's too tragic. And what are you going
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: to do? Someone is practically crying from sharing intimate details
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: and you say... Yeah, but do you have any proof?
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: And finally, I updated my post with all the other
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: things I found out that he lied about, and yup,
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: he only came clean when he got caught. I gave
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: him the chance, and he refused. That's the end of
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: that story.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: So he lied for absolutely no reason.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: He lied for absolutely no reason, and he still couldn't confess.
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: And I hate him. I hate liars, I can't.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: I guess moral of the story is, if something feels
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: too good.
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: Sorry, I dropped it. Is it okay? Is it okay?
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: It's a hearty phone.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: If something feels too good to be true or too
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: bad to be true, it's probably not true.
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: Every day I spill my drink. Somehow. Oh, okay.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Do you have me, Savannah?
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: Do I have you? No, you're over there. I do
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: not have you.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Do you hate me, Savannah?
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, absolutely. My fiance wants to dance with her
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: late fiance's father at our wedding. I don't want her to.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: Why not? Before we met, my fiance, Kayla, was engaged
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: to a man she had dated for three years who
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: passed away in a traffic accident.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: Terrible. Gosh, we just had one like this. I had
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: never dated a woman who had that kind of loss before,
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: so I've been learning as I go. But I've tried
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: to respond... that he will always be a part of
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: her story, and I accepted her relationship with her late
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: fiancé' s parents with open arms, as you should. They stayed
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: very close, and by the time we started dating, they
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: were basically like a second set of parents to her.
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: Kayla's real parents and her late fiancé' s parents are all
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: amazing people. so I consider myself pretty lucky to have
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: two sets of great-in-laws. Our wedding is coming up in May,
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: and Kayla told me that after her father-daughter dance, she
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: would like to have a second dance with her late
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: fiancé' s father to the song Vanilla Twilight. How did that go?
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: porch all night, waist deep in thought because when I
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: think of you, I don't feel so alone. Who is this?
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: Owl City. Who does Fireflies?
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: I was about to say, I was like, why does
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: this sound like Fireflies?
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: Wait, really?
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, what?
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: That's crazy. You caught that. That's funny. You really had
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: that in the back pocket. I love Vanilla Twilight. Oh,
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: I was a big Owl City fan when they first
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: came out.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: I loved Owl City purely because I think they played
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: it in Guardians of Ghoul. Have you ever heard Bird
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: and the Worm?
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: That one's great.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: I don't see anything wrong with this yet. Her dancing
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: with her ex-fiance's father. Yeah, no.
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: I think that it's nice.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: I think it's nice, sentimental, and it's not going to
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: take away from your day. No. It's something she wants
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: to do to memorialize him, you know?
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: I mean, like, it might not even be that. Like,
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: it could be that. But also, it's like, she just
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: likes her, you know, she has a parent relationship with
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: her father.
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she's in love.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: Her ex-father-in-law.
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: I don't see anything wrong with it yet.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: She asked me if I was comfortable with that. and
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: I didn't want to be that guy and say no,
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: so I said yes. Now I don't like you.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just be honest and say, hey, I'm a little uncomfortable, but, like,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: let's talk through it.
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah. By the way, this comes from Anxious Journalist 2,
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: Hold, please.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I'm Riley.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: I'm Riley.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: And we are here to talk about some stuff and
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: give some advice, but we don't have all of your answers.
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: We only know what we know. But let us know
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: what you would do down in the comments. As OP says,
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: But really, it makes me uncomfortable that she would be
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: dancing to a love song dedicated to another man at
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: our wedding. I am happy to make space in our
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: lives for his memory. A photo of him is on
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: our mantle at home. We make it a point to
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: commemorate his birthday and the anniversary of his passing. And
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: I feel like I am understanding and supportive when she
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: has bad days. And I am 100% fine with... with
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: having his parents at the wedding because, like I said,
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: we are all family. But I also feel like our
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: wedding is one day that is all about our relationship.
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: Am I the knucklehead if I ask her to reconsider
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: this dance? What are the best compromises here? And there
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: are some comments.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: See, I guess I didn't see it that way. And
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: I guess you need to ask her if this is
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: specifically to show the love I had for my fiancé
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: or if this is... to commemorate my relationship with her ex-father-in-law.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: Because I think there is a difference there. Yes.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: I think that this is allowed. It's something that she,
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: you know, it could even be like a send-off, you know,
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: to be like, I'm letting go of this chapter. Also
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: could be that, yeah. And it has nothing to do
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: with you, OP. You're making it about you. And it
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: really technically has nothing to do with you. You should
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: just be supportive and be like, if this is what
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: you want, I completely support it. I am okay with
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: you just getting that. I understand how you want it
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: just to be about you guys. It's always been like
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: you guys plus him. I get that. But, you know,
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: Emma Wilkins, she's not ready.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: She might not be.
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: And that's not your burden to bear, you know?
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: I guess. So we read another story.
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: I don't know if you were there.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: We read another story where someone wanted to do a
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: whole like memorial, what's it called?
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: Like slideshow.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: To honor their deceased fiance at their wedding. And I
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: was like, no, that's weird. That doesn't feel like, okay.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: This feels a little different to me because it's a
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: dance with a person that she sees as a father figure.
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I would think the slideshow's weird.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I wonder if OP is, because I don't, at
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: least so far, I feel like she hasn't explicitly said
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: this is to honor the love that I have for him.
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: I really want to know. I really want him to ask,
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: is it because of the relationship you have with the
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: father or is it about.
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: It also may be she feels bad. He'll never have that. Maybe.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: And Katie Paladin, she's doing both. So she's doing a
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: father daughter dance with her dad and she wanted to
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: do it with this guy who she sees as a
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: father figure.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So technically she thinks of him as her second dad. Yeah.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: Who like, you know, probably thought he would do that
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: with her. Maybe, you know, I don't know. I don't
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: see it.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: Super bad but maybe maybe we're gonna learn more there
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: are some comments comment number one says not the a-hole
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: also it's weird to have a picture of him on
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: the mantle it's a tragic loss but she needs to
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: move on or you do i disagree i disagree with
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: that as well i think you can have a picture
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: of someone you've lost on the mantle my mom has
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: a whole like thing for my deceased pets yeah like
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: my dog and my cat like i don't think there's
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: anything there's a little thing but let's You know, it's
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: just their ashes and stuff. Yeah. If she was.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: Constantly mentioning him and like... There are levels. There are levels.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: And there would be one that would be inappropriate. It
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: doesn't seem that OP finds that inappropriate. Yeah. He was
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: just uncomfortable with this, which regardless how I feel about this,
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: he should express that he's uncomfortable.
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yes. He needs to say something to her. They
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: need to have that conversation. Exactly.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Because so far he's just said yes.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: He's been very appreciative and, you know... caring about this
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: whole situation. Yeah. When in reality, is that like, are
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: you lying? Yeah. Is that how you feel? Yeah.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: I think he needs to express it because right now
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: all she's done, I think she hasn't done anything wrong yet. Yeah.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: Because she just asked a question.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: Exactly. And he said yes.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: So I would think, okay, he's on board.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: Like you're saying yes. I'm going with yes. Yeah. OP responds,
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: I definitely don't feel disrespected. We have traveled to six
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: countries together and have plenty of photos and mementos of
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: us pretty much all over the house. The single photo
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: of him does not bother me at all. Comment number
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: two says, Not the a-hole. You might want to honestly
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: ask her to sit down and reconsider if she is
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: ready to be married to someone else, though. She still
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: sounds very much invested in this other man, whether he
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: is alive or not. And she just doesn't sound ready
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: to commit to another person. OP responds, I guess it
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: sounds like he is constantly on her mind because I
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: only wrote two paragraphs yesterday. That we're wholly focused on
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: this issue. But it has been about seven years since
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: he passed away. And I think she has processed her
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: grief in a healthy way and doesn't dwell on it.
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: We have our own inside jokes and our own hobbies
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: and experiences that are unique to us. I can truly
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: say I'm marrying my favorite person in the world. That's
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: really sweet. That's so sweet.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: I also feel like we haven't heard enough for anyone
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: to say that she's not ready. Yeah. We just don't
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: know enough about the relationship.
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: We are each other's absolute best friend. I don't have
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: any illusions that our life together will entail her forgetting
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: about her late fiance, nor would I want that. Two
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: anniversaries a year and a photo really doesn't represent a
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: significant portion of her thoughts and feelings. Comment number three says,
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: not the a-hole, but that doesn't mean she is one.
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: You already said you are okay with it. This day
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: would be about our relationship. Well, it is. Both people
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: are bringing their own baggage here. Hers happened to be
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: her passed away ex. OP responds, we don't ever refer
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: to him as an ex since they never broke up. Obviously,
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: if it was her ex, the whole idea would be
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: a non-starter. I see your perspective, but I'm struggling with it.
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: To be honest, although I think I am generally good
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: about her grief, I have asked a lot of her
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: in the relationship. She has moved cities and jobs for me.
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: So I have been thinking that just letting her have
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: this dance would be a way of paying her back
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: for all the sacrifices she's made for me. But I
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: also want to be genuinely okay with it and not
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: just do it to even an imaginary score. I agree
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: with that. Completely agree.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Don't do it if you're not uncomfortable because it's your
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: wedding too.
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: Like regardless of whether or not any of us think
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: this is okay or not.
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: The only thing that matters is you two. Exactly.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: And it doesn't seem like she's going to be the
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: person who, if you said, yeah, I'm not really okay
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: with that, would come back and be like, how dare you?
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: I need this.
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah. It doesn't seem like that. Yeah. No, it seems,
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: it just seems like you need maybe another conversation to
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: discuss this and be like, you know, why are you
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: doing this? Get another explanation, have another conversation about it.
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: Instead of just being like, would you be okay with this? Yes.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: You know, again, it could totally just be the relationship
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: she has with her ex father-in-law.
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: It could just be that.
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: And maybe, maybe the compromise is no romantic song. You know,
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: it's just like we pick a different song. Yeah. There
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: are many different things that a conversation would help bring
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: insight on. Yeah.
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: Cause I mean, that song is a very romantic song.
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: talks about how like the spaces between my fingers are
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: right where yours fit perfectly.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: Oh damn wait that's sad yeah i don't know the
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: song oh it's such a good song yeah yeah maybe
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: maybe it's very romantic and just very like sentimental and just.
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah it's also a long song update five months later
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: all right let's see oh two months ago i married
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: the love of my life.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: Yay did they do the song or not we'll find
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: out i.
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: Was thinking about this thread the other day how it
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: went and where my head was at when i made
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: it and i thought you guys might like an update
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: a little anticlimactically The thing I was stressing about was
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: a bit of a miscommunication, which probably happens a lot here. Yeah.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: And there we go. Knew it.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: Knew a conversation would fix everything.
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: Kayla wanted to dance with her late fiance, as I'll
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: go ahead and just call him Luke from now on,
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: his father at our wedding. And Vanilla Twilight was an
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: example of a song along the lines of what she wanted,
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: not the set in stone top choice like I had thought.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: Well, there you go. Well, she's just like, oh, I
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: want that vibe or that like style of song or something.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: Like just slow. It is very pretty. Yeah, it's slow
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: and just.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So she's like, oh, sorry, like I can just
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: not do that song.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is Riley, the host that can't really read
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: that well. We're going to get back to the stories,
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: I and a lot of commenters in the original thread
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: spent a lot of time over analyzing the lyrics to
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: that song, looking for hidden meaning in every word. While
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: it turns out she hadn't put much more thought into
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: the suggestion than This is a kind of sad song
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: that I like. We got together that night and she
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: had made several playlists of possible first dance songs for us.
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: Songs for when she walks down the aisle, music to
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: play at the reception, and song choices for her dance
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: with Luke's father. We spent hours listening to them all
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: and talking about the wedding. We even made a tournament-style
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: bracket for our first dance song in her journal and
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: put songs head-to-head against each other until the victor emerged.
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: That is so fun. Do you guys have first dance songs?
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: Well, see, mine's not a first dance. It's first performance.
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: My partner will have to sing and dance with me.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: You're a choreographer.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: You could do that. Yes.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: I have choreographed first dances.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: Well, there you go.
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: What's yours, Riley?
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: Flaws and Sins by Juice WRLD.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: Where did that go? Flaws and Sins by Juice WRLD.
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: Sounds like a really good first dance.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: Wait, get into the lyrics or read the lyrics.
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: I'll read the lyrics. I'm the lightning. You're the thunder.
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: There's a difference between I need you and I want you. Girl,
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: I need you.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: Good spicy sleep led to conversations getting a little deeper.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: Tell me your darkest secrets. Crap, you wouldn't even tell Jesus.
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: My karma been tweaking so much I couldn't even believe
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: in karma. But you give me a reason to thank
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: God for all those recent falls. Percocet 38. I've been
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: getting off.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I've done chill down.
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: On the substances. Suck it like it's love. F me
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: like it's love.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: No protection on my heart. God damn it. I've gone
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: hit raw. Traumatized from my past. Yeah, I keep a
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: log in my mind, in my head where that crap belongs.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: They say you after my bread crap. I hope they wrong.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: You always ran up the bands. We can have a ball.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: Hit it from the back.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: Humana.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: Call a play and huddle up.
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: Hit it from the back. Humana.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: Piss that good love in the bedroom. F you on
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: the Prada. Poke her face like Lady Gaga. Ride it
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: like a Mazda.
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: Zoom, zoom, zoom.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: I'm all.
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: I'm really all in. I'm sure Andy's parents would love this.
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: Ride it like a Mazda. Your scars are really gorgeous. Percocet. Here,
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: I'm going to skip over it. Wow.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: Atta boy. I've done turned to a man. Hot chills
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: when my skin is on your skin. You got to
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: catch a couple out the FNN. That mean Cupid ain't
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: give you a headshot. So I ain't got no choice
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: but to leave you with a headshot.
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: Wear your ring finger out. I need wedlock. Got my
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: sights on your butt. Oh, red dot.
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: We some bats that made it out of hell. Oh,
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: red hot. Yeah. Okay.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: So that's kind of that's Riley's song.
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: That's okay.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Maybe not.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I actually choreographed... Well, actually, I choreographed my.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: When you say it like that.
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: When you say it like that... I choreographed my brother's
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: first dance to All I Ask of You by Family
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: Opera while me and my ex sang it.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: I think Down the Aisle... I don't really know what
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: first dance gotta be. Down the Aisle has to be either...
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: Lord of the Rings.
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: Lord of the Rings, some Studio Ghibli song, or... Maybe
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: like Harry Potter, I don't know. One of those like
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: made it to.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: He walked down the aisle.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: No, not that one. But there's like a lot of
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: really beautiful arrangements. I think Lord of the Rings or
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: Studio Ghibli would be really good. Like Howl's Moving Castle.
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: My friend walked down the aisle to something from Twilight.
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: There's like a really pretty song in Twilight that she, no,
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: and it actually was like, oh my God, I immediately
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: cried as soon as she came.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: I was like.
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: I think it has to be some sort of Studio
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: Ghibli song because that'll just make me cry. Yeah, I
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: don't know what song I'm going to walk down the
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: aisle to, but I know my first performance. Oh, there
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: you go.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: But wait, what happened in this story? Sorry, I was
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: reading Juice WRLD.
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: I did my friends whose dance I choreographed for them
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: was a waltz.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: Love.
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: And I also choreographed her and her dad's dance too.
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: That's so cute.
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: And I had to send them a video because obviously
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: I don't live in Ohio. It's funny. All right, let's
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: do this. At the end, we talked about the wedding
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: and our relationship. Luke and their relationship and grief. What
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: it was like when she lost him and what it
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: was like for me when I lost my mom at
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: a young age. What a family is and all the
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: things we're hopeful for for the future. We stayed up
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: until three in the morning just talking and planning and
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: laughing and crying a little. And I'm so glad for it.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: After getting bombarded by dozens of different opinions from dozens
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: of different people earlier that day, I had been worried
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: that I was going to have a conflict with my
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: fiancé shortly before our wedding, but there was no conflict,
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: just a pure memory. After that night, I started putting
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: in more effort to be involved with the wedding planning
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: process and actually asked for things I wanted, which Kayla
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: actually really appreciated. Yay!
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: So cute.
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: I would appreciate that too. I'd be like, do you
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: have any ideas?
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would hate to be like planning for a
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: wedding and be like, any thoughts from the peanut gallery?
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: You know, like you've been awfully quiet.
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: So like, what do you want the centerpieces to be?
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: Is it just me planning everything?
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: We also took a long weekend a couple of weeks
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: before the wedding to go on a camping trip together
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: for just the two of us, which I highly recommend
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: to anyone who is getting married.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: Well, I won't go camping, but Airbnb sounds great.
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I'll go to a pretty place, sleep in a bed. Overall,
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: there was a complete flip in my feelings leading up
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: to the wedding. From being somewhat insecure and excited, but nervous,
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: to being completely at ease, excited, and feeling stronger about
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: my relationship than ever.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: Good.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: All because of communication. And you know what? Communication wins.
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: Communication saves the freaking day.
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: The wedding day itself was really wonderful and worth the wait.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: Kayla and Luke's father had their dance to lean on me.
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: And I also had a dance with Kayla's mom and
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: it was very emotional in a good way. I was
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: going to say, who are you dancing with? Because his
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: mom isn't there. Unless he had a stepmom maybe, you know?
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: Well, I guess Kayla's mom.
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's very sweet. I really feel that the day
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: was a celebration of our love. And I was genuinely
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: happy that Luke's parents were there to celebrate along with
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: us because they are very much members of our family.
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: My amazing wife is who she is because of all
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: the experiences that she has had in her life. And
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: I don't want to be the kind of man who
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: asks her to pretend that she has never loved before
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: me or pretend that her grief is something that is
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: or should be done with forever now that she has me.
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: I just want to say how glad I am that
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: we shared that night together and that the wedding was
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: nothing but love and celebration. I never thought I could
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: be so happy. And there are some comments. Yay! It's just,
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: it sounds perfect.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: Yay! I knew, I knew. I knew it'd be fine.
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: I had a lot of faith in y'all. I knew
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: it'd be fine. Like, you... Never any doubt in my mind.
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: It's just, you guys communicated your needs. And some people, like, that's... That's, like,
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: out of this world for some people. Yeah, some people
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: just cannot do that. They don't get it. It's like, wait,
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: communicate what I want? Oh, God. And I'm the same way.
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: I get weird about communicating the things that I want. Like,
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: I get really weird. I'm like, I don't want to
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: put anyone, like, in a weird position. Ah! I just
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: won't say anything. I'll do everything that everyone wants and
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: then I'll complain about it later. And that's on me
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: having no backbone. And that's on the lack of communication.
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: That's on lack of communication, guys. Don't do that. But
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: don't do that. Don't do it. There are some comments.
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: Comment number one says, wait, you dealt with it like
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: an adult instead of overreacting and following the advice of
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: randos on the internet? OP responds, it seems obvious now. Yay!
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: It's funny because when Kayla would ask people online or
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: talk to regular people about her loss, she'd get responses like, oh,
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: seven years ago? That's ancient history. And basically acted like
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: she was broken if she was ever sad about Luke again.
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: And when she would talk to people in the grief community,
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: she never got that response. It was always, wow, so
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: you're just coming out of where it's very fresh, huh?
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: She recommended a podcast to me called OK Storytime that
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: I found enormously helpful, not just with understanding her feelings,
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: but processing some of my own feelings about my late mom,
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: who I had a difficult relationship with. Yeah. Going back
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: to the rather just over the giggling. What are you
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: giggling about? What are you giggling? Yeah, we do that, too,
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: with OK Storytime. We do.
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: That too.
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: We do. We do deal with grief. I was going
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: to say about.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: Going back to like the mental... The mantle piece. You know,
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: putting the picture on the mantle piece. The mantle piece.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: The mantle piece. Putting the picture on the mantle piece.
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: I feel like if you think about it in any
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: other situation. Like, let's say OP lost his mom.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: And.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: Would, like, would you expect, like, it'd be kind of
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: crazy if anyone expected him to take a picture of
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: his mom down, you know? Because it's been seven years. I, yes.
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: I agree. My mom has pictures of my grandma, like, everywhere. Exactly.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: So, like, why are we saying that just because you're
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: in a new relationship, you can't, like, if you lost
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: a person, it's not an ex. It's a person you lost.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: They passed away.
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: Like. Yeah.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: There are obviously boundaries that should be put in place
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: so that the next partner doesn't feel, you know. like
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: they're having to compete.
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: But there shouldn't be an expectation to completely.
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: Forget about that. I agree.
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: Because it was still an important person in their life.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: I have a pit cure with my great grandfather who
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: has passed away in my room.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: And I love that. And I'm sure that, you know,
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: you're not going to, you're allowed. No one's going to
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: tell you in seven years, Oh, get over. It's been
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: seven years.
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah. You know?
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: I mean, I know no matter what grief is grief
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: and it comes and goes. Yeah. It always like, It's
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: never ending, truthfully. It is never ending. It's like I
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: can still think, you know, fun times about, you know,
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: my grandparents or whatever and like get emotional.
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like I lost my uncle during 2020. And, you know,
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: I don't cry. Like I don't cry all the time
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: or anything. But I think about him and I, again,
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: as you said, I get emotional.
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: Because this was a very, you know, he was very important.
• 41:14
  Speaker 4: Exactly. Exactly.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: And, you know, like, it doesn't matter how long it's been.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: Because when you think about those moments, you get transported
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: right back. Yeah.
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: Comment number two says, I mean, if Luke hadn't passed away,
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: your wife would be with him.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: I hate that idea.
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: I hate that.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: Like, if, if, you know, like, why are we what if-ing?
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: What if he didn't pass away? She wouldn't be with you. So?
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: If I was a frog, I would be a frog.
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: There you go.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: My boyfriend would not date me if I were a frog.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: But look who is still standing.
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: What? Look who's still standing. Look who's still standing.
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: It's like that, there's that movie with, I'm forgetting her name.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: She's one of the Olsen people, Elizabeth Olsen. And she's
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: like in the afterlife and she's being forced to choose
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: between the husband that she had when she was younger,
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: but lost him. So she was like in her twenties
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: and then, or between the husband that she had for
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: the rest of her life. So it's like, which, like
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: my first love or this person that I grew old with.
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: And I actually haven't seen the movie, but. So I
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: won't spoil it.
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: I watched that movie with John. Yeah.
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: But it's like, why would, you know, like you don't like,
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: she didn't, she didn't not love her. Like she lost
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: that person, but like she made a new love with
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: the next person. It's like, why are like situations happen
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: and we just kind of keep going. Yeah.
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: Like if my, like, it's like if an ex didn't
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: break up with you, you'd still be with them. Like, okay. Yeah.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: But they did, but they did, but that didn't happen.
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: So yeah. If, If my ex wasn't mean, sure, I'd
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: be with him. Exactly.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: It's like, what ifs are stupid?
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Opie responds, this line of thinking has never bothered
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: me because it can be applied to so many other situations.
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: All of life is millions of branching paths of choices
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: that we do and do not make. It doesn't bother
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: me to think that my wife would be with Luke
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: if he hadn't passed away because, well, he has passed away.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: So that is not the situation. And it is only
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: because that happened that my wife became the person I
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: fell in love with. I have an ex-partner who I
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: was very much in love with years ago, but we
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: split up due to circumstances beyond either of our control.
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: If that hadn't happened, then there's a good chance I
• 43:23
  Speaker 4: would be married to her instead. But that's not the situation.
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: That doesn't diminish the love that I have for my wife.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: And my wife, having lost someone very dear to her,
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: doesn't diminish the love she has for me.
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: Period.
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: That was great. I loved that.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I also loved that.
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah. There he goes, folks. There he goes.
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't.
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: Again, there's no timeline for grief. You can still grief anything.
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: You know, you can even grief your phone passing away.
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: My married coworker confessed she's fallen in love with me.
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: Oh, yikes.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: Not good. I, 26 male, just started working with a
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: great woman, 30 female, a few months ago. And we
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: started talking during our coffee and lunch breaks. We really
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: hit it off and agree on a lot of things.
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: Our backgrounds, our beliefs, our habits, etc., However, much as
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: the title says, she's married. What's more, she told me
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: that she's fallen in love with me in a way
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: she hasn't with her current husband. She says there's nothing
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: wrong with her husband and that there is no hostility
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: or resentment in her marriage, just that her husband's away
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: from home a lot of the time. So there's a
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: big gap in her life that is only filled when
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: he visits her on the weekends. Okay, Riley's laughing again,
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: probably because she said a big gap that he fills.
• 44:39
  Speaker 4: Because he never listens.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: And it is hard for her, and she need to
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: be filled.
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: Yep, and there it is.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: How did I know? Or in this circumstance, during coffee
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: break with me. She finds me attractive. She says I'm
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: very charming and very captivating and emotionally supportive. She can't
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: help but want to talk to me as much as
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: she can. Let me make something completely clear. I do
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: not want a romantic relationship. With this woman. As much
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: as I find her attractive and great to be around,
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: I simply can't and won't start anything with her.
• 45:11
  Speaker 4: Period.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: There's too many factors at play here and too many
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: red flags for me to consider anything serious. She asked
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: me point blank if I was in love with her.
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: I replied by saying, I might have been if she
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: were single, but since she is not, I can't be
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: in love with her. So I'm not.
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: Very practical, Opie.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: Opie's like, I can't and I won't be. I could
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: be if you weren't, but.
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: You are, so I'm not. If circumstances were different, sure.
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: But you're married.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: If I were a frog, I'd be a frog, but
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: I'm not.
• 45:40
  Speaker 4: And therefore, I can't marry you.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: Maybe.
• 45:42
  Speaker 4: Therefore, I cannot fill your gaps.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern belle. We're going
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: worth of ads from our sponsors.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: Maybe in another life, but not this one. She has
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: another family to take care of and another partner in
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: her life. By the way, this comes from Asla Carton. 191.
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: to the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: I am Riley.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: And Opie says... When she confessed to me, I told
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: her that as flattered as I am, I think she's
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: basically crushing on me because she isn't seeing her husband much.
• 46:25
  Speaker 4: To which she admitted.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: and is aware of all the same, she says she
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: can't help but see me in a romantic light. I
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: enjoy talking with her as a friend, and don't really
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: want to completely lose that, because she really is a
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: wonderful human, and it's nice to talk with someone you
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: relate to. But I don't want to lead her on romantically,
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: or confuse her further. I told her to focus this
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: romantic energy on her marriage and her husband, to start
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: seeing her husband the same way she sees me, convince
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: her husband to change his work schedule if possible, and
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: more importantly, just open up with him and let him
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: know that she feels emotionally starved. For the time being,
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: I told her that we shouldn't do anything drastic in
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: either direction. We shouldn't start seeing each other after work
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: and build on this, nor should we immediately cut off
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: all contact and just forget about each other existing. I
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: think either move would be less than ideal. The former
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: choice would inevitably end in disaster. The latter would just
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: be needlessly depressing. I told her to have faith in
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: her own fidelity and her own integrity and realize that
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: this infatuation will pass over and to think of me
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: more as a friend and a brother than any sort
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: of romantic partner.
• 47:32
  Speaker 4: Damn.
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: OP is just, wow.
• 47:35
  Speaker 4: OP is like, consider me J with a G.
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: Consider me like I'm not even here. Consider me like
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: I'm a frog.
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Lucky Moose agree. He needs to take a break
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: from talking to her. She sounds exhausting. I agree.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: I don't think you can get anywhere in this sort
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: of friendship if she's.
• 47:50
  Speaker 4: Like, I'm in love with you. Yeah. And are you
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: in love with me? And he's like, Robo Riley?
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: Consider me as if I have no reproductive organs.
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: Consider me as if I'm a eunuch. don't consider me
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: at all don't consider me at all stop considering if
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: she continues to pursue me romantically i am not against
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: completely cutting off contact and limiting time together just to
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: nip it in the bud before it gets out of
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: control but only as a last resort however my hopes
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: are that eventually this crush will fizzle out and we'll
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: continue to be friends that are able to enjoy each
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: other's company without any hint of romance my question for
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: now however is if I'm doing the right thing or
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: making the right choice. Should I swallow my own feelings
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: of wanting to spend time with her as a friend
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: and force distance between us at the cost of not
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: being able to talk and relate with someone? Is my
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: thought that exposure over time will dissipate this crush actually correct? Basically,
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: what can I do to make sure this doesn't get
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: out of control? We have an update. I don't think
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: that seeing her more will help.
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: You're not her therapist. Seems like that's what she's... She's
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: kind of trying to, like, make you feel bad about
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: her situation.
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 49:07
  Speaker 4: Like, really confide in you. It's like, tell this to
• 49:09
  Speaker 4: your husband. He's there. He could do that.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: He could do that for you. He could be your
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: emotional support.
• 49:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: I'm just kind of your coworker.
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And OP, I think, I think you're doing everything right.
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: I thank God, you know, you're putting this boundary down
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: and saying, no, no, no, I'm not getting involved with this.
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: No, no, no. It's going to be messy. Going to
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: take a step back.
• 49:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah. But I mean, I, if you eventually feel uncomfortable,
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: you could take this up with HR. Yeah. True, true, true, true.
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: You could bring it to someone else and be like,
• 49:40
  Speaker 4: I'm done with her, you know, if it gets too
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: out of hand. Other than that, I would try to
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: say keep the conversation short and sweet. Yeah. You know,
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: and just be like, oh, yeah, you're great. You know, oh,
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: that stinks.
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't have to go get lunch together anymore.
• 49:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just be like, hi. Oh, haven't seen you in
• 49:54
  Speaker 4: a while. How is everything? That'll probably be better. You know,
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: Robo Riley has something. Yes.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: Now, I say look more and more like her husband
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: every day. Meet her kids. Lock in on his mannerisms
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: and slowly just infiltrate his life and be with her forever.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: No one will notice because he is not around.
• 50:17
  Speaker 4: True. Or he can start acting like her husband, who
• 50:22
  Speaker 4: she doesn't want to be like. That's what you said. Oh, yeah.
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: But then you said to marry her at the end. Oh.
• 50:29
  Speaker 4: I'm saying act more like her husband so she stops
• 50:32
  Speaker 4: liking him. Yeah, because she obviously doesn't want to be
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: with her husband. So just act like him and then
• 50:35
  Speaker 4: she'll be like, Oh, one more response.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: She is just lonely. That is the real reason.
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: And that's the truth. And that's the breaking truth.
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: Of course, Ronan Q. I mean, update.
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: I just got off the phone with her Sunday morning.
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: She called me to let me know how she's doing
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: and asked how I'm doing. And I cut the BS
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: right away and said that we need space apart from
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: each other and we can't keep seeing each other anymore.
• 51:03
  Speaker 4: She agreed. And that was that.
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: At least now I don't have to worry about what
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: she's thinking about anymore. And I'm glad she understands OP
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: is so practical. That's really, this is not what we
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: usually read.
• 51:13
  Speaker 4: No.
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: All I hope for now is that we all just
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: move on from this and this doesn't bite me in
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: the butt in the future. I also want to say
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: thank you to everyone who told me everything that needed
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: to be said. I had a really effing brutal time
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: last night just trying to process all of this and
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: I'm still pretty aching and sore this morning. But I
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: greatly appreciate everyone. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: is way more helpful advice, way more honesty, and way
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: more tender wisdom than I could ever ask for. This
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: colossal tsunami of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 51:43
  Speaker 4: Do, do, do, do, do.
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: OP continues. It touches me deeply.
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: Yada, yada, yada.
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: Earth helping another person in pain. Yada, yada, yada.
• 51:52
  Speaker 4: What is this poetry?
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: I can see now the ocean of love.
• 51:54
  Speaker 4: What? Yada, yada, yada.
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: I can't wait to find more people. He's a poet.
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: Thank you. That was crazy. He's like, and let me
• 52:04
  Speaker 4: say this really quick.
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: And just three more paragraphs about how much I love
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: you guys.
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: That was crazy.
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: And that's the end of the story.
• 52:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Good job, OP. You really handled that like a champ. Yeah.
• 52:17
  Speaker 4: I will say one thing that stood out to me
• 52:19
  Speaker 4: was I don't know why you would be aching sore
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: the next day. I thought he meant like emotionally.
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: Or maybe he played pickleball. I'm always aching and sore
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: after pickleball. Or maybe went rock climbing.
• 52:29
  Speaker 4: Could have done that. Could have done a lot of things.
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: I went rock climbing two days ago, and I was
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: trying to get this one climb, and I could not.
• 52:36
  Speaker 4: It was a red one on the slab wall. It's
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: a V4. I saw someone do it the other day.
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: I saw a bunch of people do it.
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: Couldn't do it.
• 52:43
  Speaker 4: Oh, V4? I'm going after it tonight.
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: It is so balancey.
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: Could not get it. Yeah, I mean, truthfully, OP. Glad
• 52:50
  Speaker 4: that happened.
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, good job.
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: Really glad that you didn't do anything. Yeah. So pragmatic.
• 52:56
  Speaker 4: And I loved the poetry at the end. Thank you. Yeah.
• 52:59
  Speaker 4: For that.
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: He was so like analytical throughout the whole story.
• 53:01
  Speaker 4: And then at the end, he was like, I have
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: to give them some poetry to know. I still feel
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: things deeply. No, I still feel things very deeply. So,
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: so deeply. I wanted my fiance to take my last name,
• 53:13
  Speaker 4: but she wanted me to do the same. Compromise. Smush
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: them together. I, 27 male, have been with my fiancee.
• 53:21
  Speaker 4: 24 female for three and a half years we are
• 53:25
  Speaker 4: very happy together and i can't imagine my life without
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: her but we have had a hard time reconciling this
• 53:32
  Speaker 4: disagreement so i posted here at her suggestion we have
• 53:35
  Speaker 4: been talking more and more about marriage recently and what
• 53:38
  Speaker 4: it would look like for me part of the significance
• 53:41
  Speaker 4: of marriage is becoming family with each other and that
• 53:44
  Speaker 4: includes sharing our last name when i think of being
• 53:47
  Speaker 4: bonded with her in that way i get really happy
• 53:50
  Speaker 4: and excited like We are a true pair and the
• 53:54
  Speaker 4: whole world could recognize it. However, she wants to keep
• 53:57
  Speaker 4: her last name as she says it is a hassle
• 54:00
  Speaker 4: to have to change it. It is.
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: It is. It's a huge hassle.
• 54:03
  Speaker 4: You have to change all your credit cards. You have
• 54:04
  Speaker 4: to change your license. You got to change literally everything.
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: And then it's also, it's tricky because especially now there's,
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: you know, with birth certificate stuff, it makes it harder
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: if your name does not match your birth certificate.
• 54:17
  Speaker 4: Yes. My sister-in-law is going through that.
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: Especially with like voting laws.
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: Yes. Yes. I think that's fine, but I'm the only
• 54:24
  Speaker 4: guy on my side of the family who could carry
• 54:26
  Speaker 4: my family name. I have two sisters who are married already,
• 54:29
  Speaker 4: so it's literally just me left. It's a pretty unique name.
• 54:33
  Speaker 4: Not one like Johnson or Smith. So my family name
• 54:39
  Speaker 4: would be gone if I don't carry it and pass
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: it on to our kids.
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: Why wouldn't you be passing it on to your kids?
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: Because she wants to keep her last name. But, like,
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: why can't they just both keep their last names and
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: then their kids get hyphenated?
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: Could be. That's a possibility. And it's solved.
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: It's solved. I feel like I just solved it for you.
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: We did it. By the way, this comes from Nameless Future.
• 55:01
  Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 55:02
  Speaker 4: to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: I am Riley.
• 55:08
  Speaker 4: And we are here. to give some good advice goofily,
• 55:11
  Speaker 4: but we don't have all your answers. We're just going
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: to tell you what we would do, but you should
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: let us know what you would do down in the comments.
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: As Opie says, Beyonce doesn't really care about matching our
• 55:21
  Speaker 4: names and suggested I could change my name to hers
• 55:24
  Speaker 4: so we match or otherwise just keep both of our
• 55:28
  Speaker 4: own last names after we marry.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't understand why we can't do that. Because
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: Opie said, well, I don't want to give up my name. Well, don't. Yeah.
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: And she doesn't want to give up her name.
• 55:37
  Speaker 4: So don't.
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: I'm not giving up my name.
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know if I want to.
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: My name is mine.
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: Mine, mine. She has a brother, so her family name
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: would be carried on either way. I feel like it's
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: different for that reason, and she should compromise with me
• 55:52
  Speaker 4: and change her name.
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: That's not a compromise.
• 55:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what?
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: She should compromise with me and do what I want.
• 55:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: And Snickersnack says what I said, hyphenate the kids' names.
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: Am I the a-hole for not wanting to change my
• 56:04
  Speaker 4: family name and asking her to change hers instead?
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: You were the a-hole for the last part, yes.
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: First part.
• 56:10
  Speaker 4: No.
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: Last part. Yes.
• 56:11
  Speaker 4: I never found like an issue with that. I know
• 56:15
  Speaker 4: my friend went through this. She didn't want to change
• 56:17
  Speaker 4: her last name, which I don't think she did. She
• 56:19
  Speaker 4: wanted to have it like hyphenated. But I don't I
• 56:22
  Speaker 4: don't know what ended up happening. She still has the
• 56:23
  Speaker 4: same name on Instagram. So I wonder I should ask
• 56:27
  Speaker 4: her that. Like if she ever did it, because I
• 56:29
  Speaker 4: know it was a big, it wasn't a big deal
• 56:30
  Speaker 4: for her family, but it was for the, her partner's family,
• 56:33
  Speaker 4: which is.
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: Often how it goes. I feel like with like, it
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: usually is more important for the male. They're also super religious.
• 56:41
  Speaker 4: So I don't know if that has anything to do
• 56:42
  Speaker 4: with it either of being like, you should take the
• 56:45
  Speaker 4: men's name or something like that. But yeah, I don't,
• 56:50
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I mean, I don't really think it matters. Like, yeah.
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: And I, The thing is that I don't think it
• 56:56
  Speaker 3: matters to take the name, but I think a name
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: is very important to people.
• 57:02
  Speaker 4: That is her own name.
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: And to give up one's name is a big thing
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: that I think a lot of women make that sacrifice.
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: And some don't care, but some do care, and they
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: make that sacrifice. We just kind of gloss over it.
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: It's just like you're supposed.
• 57:18
  Speaker 4: To do it. There is an edit to add, getting
• 57:20
  Speaker 4: some questions about hyphenating her names. I am willing to
• 57:23
  Speaker 4: do this, but she is not. She does not want
• 57:25
  Speaker 4: to change her last name at all due to the
• 57:27
  Speaker 4: hassle of it. So basically, she says I can take
• 57:30
  Speaker 4: her name or just accept us having different last names. Also,
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: some comments are mentioning this is my hill to pass
• 57:38
  Speaker 4: away on. It's really not, or I wouldn't be posting here.
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: It's just something my fiance and I are having trouble sorting,
• 57:45
  Speaker 4: and we wanted to get some others to weigh in.
• 57:48
  Speaker 4: I obviously won't or can't force her to do anything.
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: There's a second edit to add. It's hard to keep
• 57:53
  Speaker 4: up with the comments, but I am reading them all,
• 57:56
  Speaker 4: and so is my fiance. She is getting a real
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: laugh out of it, which makes me glad, I suppose.
• 58:03
  Speaker 4: But to address a couple more questions that are popping up,
• 58:07
  Speaker 4: We talked and are both okay with the kids taking
• 58:09
  Speaker 4: my last name.
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: Okay, then like actually what's the issue here?
• 58:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: There actually is zero issue here.
• 58:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think it really does not matter.
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: That's actually crazy. Because I thought the issue was going
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: to be like, oh, well, she says hyphenate or... Take
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: my last name for the kids. But if she says, no,
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: I just want to keep my name and we can
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: name the kids your last name. Yeah. Then what's the issue?
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: You said your whole thing was, well, I have to
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: pass on the name.
• 58:35
  Speaker 4: You are. Yeah.
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: There is no issue. My mom didn't take my dad's
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: last name. There was no issue. There's no issue. I
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: have my dad's last name.
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 58:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 58:45
  Speaker 4: Literally. That's crazy. We talked and are both okay with
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: the kids taking my last name. Perfect. She is thinking
• 58:51
  Speaker 4: about this still, but might use my last name socially
• 58:54
  Speaker 4: and keep her name legally. So she doesn't have to
• 58:56
  Speaker 4: deal with the hassle, but we still get a shared name.
• 58:59
  Speaker 4: And there's an update.
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: Perfect.
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Okay. So what's happening? Wait, wait, wait. What's the issue?
• 59:05
  Speaker 4: So that's it. um so problem solved end of story
• 59:09
  Speaker 4: right christian the greek i don't think we unless you're
• 59:12
  Speaker 4: talking about a story i we read when i wasn't
• 59:13
  Speaker 4: here but i don't think we i do not recall
• 59:16
  Speaker 4: reading this story but we have read similar stories there's
• 59:18
  Speaker 4: an update here oh hold on uh robo riley.
• 59:22
  Speaker 3: Has something really quick yeah hannah says i'm confused.
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: Hot take if it is just a hassle of getting
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: it changed Can you just have someone change it for you?
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: It costs money, though. But the thing is, you would
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: have to pay someone to change everything. There are so
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: many things, and it's not just about changing it. It's
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: like you change it, and again, it goes into the
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: voting stuff. There are a lot of different things that
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: are affected by this. And also, sometimes people just like
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: their last name.
• 59:54
  Speaker 4: Hannah's saying, what's the update to this non-issue?
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: It's really a non-issue.
• 59:57
  Speaker 4: They solved it. All right, well, there is an update.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 4: My wife and I read every comment together and discuss
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 4: things thoroughly. I had not considered the patriarchal slash historical
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 4: angle of asking a woman to take a man's name
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 4: and give up her own. It's just not something I'd
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 4: been exposed to much. It turns out this was there
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 4: in the background for my wife and was bothering her,
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 4: but she wasn't fully aware of it, much less how
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 4: to explain it to me. So it wasn't just about
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 4: the paperwork or hassle of changing her name. She was
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 4: also resisting because she felt weird about giving up her name. Yeah.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: I had no idea that she felt that way and
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 4: was glad some commenters gave her the language to actually
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 4: talk about it with me. Part of our process in
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 4: resolving this difference was to do 23andMe tests and build
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 4: family trees. This ended up being really enjoyable and we
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 4: both found out some great family stories and tidbits from relatives.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 4: I highly recommend for other couples to do this too.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 4: We both feel much more connected to our personal histories
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 4: and therefore our last names now. And it was very
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 4: moving for me to link our trees together and gave
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 4: me that sense of romantic connectedness I was seeking through
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 4: the names. The end result? We got married two weeks
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 4: ago without a legal name change.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: Heck yeah.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 4: That was so easy. In the future, we are thinking
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 4: of hyphenating our names.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: Maybe.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 4: Neither of us are pressed to do it immediately as
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 4: we are basking in the newness of our marriage. Our
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 4: kids will also have hyphenated names, too, if we are
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 4: blessed with some. Yeah, there's a little bit left, and
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 4: you did it. You did it. You solved it. You
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 4: solved it. This problem, not a problem.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: Zero issues here, bud.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 4: Cool. I don't have any thoughts because there's something in
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 4: my eye.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's your thought? That's your final thought?
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 4: My final thought, there's something in my eye.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: Ouch.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, like, what else would there be to talk
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: about here other than your eye?
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 4: See this? This is a problem. That solved.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: Not a problem.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 4: I am thrilled to be married to the love of
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 4: my life, even if we are not a matching Mr.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 4: and Mrs. for now. I would still like to be someday,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 4: but if we do, then the hassle of changing our
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 4: names will be something we suffer through together instead of
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 4: an unequal burden. Most of all, this experience has massively
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 4: changed the way my wife and I approach our differences
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 4: or conflicts together. We work through things slowly, gently, and
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 4: without assumptions until we understand each other, and that has
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 4: been the best thing to come out of this experience. So,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 4: although I didn't expect to say it, thank you to
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 4: everyone who called me an a-hole a few months ago.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 4: My wife thanks you too. That's funny. Perfect. Great job.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 4: That was pointless, but thanks for sharing.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: We solved your, we solved it. We saved the day.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 4: Once again, okay, story time saves the day. That's us.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story. But we've got
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: comments from the video. My husband chose his niece over
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: our kid.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 4: I want a divorce.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: And this was posted August 13th, 2026. The TLDR comes
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 3: from story one. Opie thought her husband's niece, Kelly, was
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: only staying with them for three months. That was 14
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: months ago. What started as a temporary favor turned into
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: her husband treating Kelly like their own daughter, even threatening
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 3: divorce when Opie refused to adopt her. The problem, Kelly
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 3: targeted Opie's 18-year-old daughter, Sarah, relentlessly, breaking her things, calling
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: her names, and playing the innocent victim while Opie's husband
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: excused every single thing she did. Then one day, Kelly
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: exploded on Sarah over something tiny, screaming that she was
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: lazy trash who should be kicked out. Opie finally snapped,
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: and when her husband came home demanding a divorce to
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 3: protect Kelly, she gave him exactly what he asked for.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: But the truth about who Kelly really is adds a
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: shocking layer to the whole mess. And if you're curious
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 3: to know how shocking it gets, go watch the full video.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: But we've got.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 4: Comments I want to read. All right. Read them. Nah.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 4: First story. It's good to be honest about this. Her
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 4: actions broke up a family. Their son has to split
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 4: his life between two households. She needed the truth, and
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 4: the husband is the biggest a-hole for refusing to listen
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 4: until his life was ruined. Sarah has an awesome mom.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 4: I just hope their son will be okay. Jessica OG says,
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 4: First story, not the a-hole, and I'm glad she told
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 4: the niece that the divorce was her fault. She can't
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 4: take accountability for her actions if she's shielded from the
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 4: harm she caused. Glad OP stood her ground, protected her children,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 4: and maintained her dignity. So true. Next comment's From Robin Hines, 7528,
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 4: and says, when my kids were D-bags, I told my
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 4: kids they were being D-bags.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 4: And that's sometimes how you gotta do it. And our
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 4: last comment, Tree something, said she's going to be branded
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 4: for life. Yes, that's how consequences work. That's how you
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 4: learn not to do something again. The things that keep
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 4: you up at night.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: That's also true. You have to have consequences or you
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: just don't, you just keep behaving terribly.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 3: But that's the end of those comments and the end
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: of the episode. So if you love us, make sure
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: to subscribe.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 4: We love you.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: And see you tomorrow.