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Narcissists want to be you · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  So in this video we're going to be talking about how narcissists
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  want to be you. How the narcissist in your life,
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  whatever relationship they are, parent, best friend, girlfriend,
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  boyfriend, husband, wife, whatever.
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  A lot of times they want to be you.
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  They want to take your hobbies, they want to info infiltrate
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  your friend groups. They want to take over your
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  life. Yeah, I know what I'm talking
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  about too, though. So if you're new here, my name
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  is Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
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  I give I'm here to give you the perspective of a narcissist and
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  let you just kind of give you the inside look.
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  Go into the ear, into the brain, kick up a pick up a chair and
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  just chill out. Just chillax.
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  You know how how the folks say chillax?
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  No, but seriously, there are a lot of toxic narcissistic people
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  out there, right? That will absolutely take over
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  your personality. Now at the beginning, you might
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  have a lot of similarities with this person.
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  You might feel like, well, me and you are just alike.
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  We we are just alike. We are kindred spirits.
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  We are kin and dread. We are kindred spirits, right?
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  Kin, you're kin. I'm dread.
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  We're together with kindred, right?
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  So it's just like we are kindred spirit.
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  We have a lot of hobbies and interests.
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  But when you come to realize this, that that narcissist or
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  toxic person, whatever is mirroring you, they have become
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  the mirror to you. They have became you.
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  They are becoming you. They want to be you.
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  This is what happens a lot of times because I know a lot of
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  people ask me like Lee, why the hell would they want to be me?
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  I'm glad you asked because most narcissists not truly believe
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  this, lack their own identity. Seriously.
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  I truly believe that most narcissistic people, most toxic
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  people lack their own authentic identity.
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  Willie, your narcissist, does that include you?
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  Yes. For a very long time, I lacked
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  my own identity, identity. So I can't even say that word
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  identity, right, because I lack the ability to say the word
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  correctly, right? But seriously, for a very long
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  time, I lacked my own identity. So what I've been doing
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  throughout my entire life and because I have a twin brother
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  that is not a narcissist, y'all, my twin brother is in fact not a
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  narcissist. Y'all hear me?
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  Twin brother, not a narcissist. Got it Good.
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  But that's the way that's the way it goes right there.
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  So my twin brother is not a narcissist, but I picked up a
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  lot of things from him. I got to study him, I got to
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  analyze him. I got to be around him every
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  single day of my life for until we were, you know, young adults.
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  You know, he lives in Charlotte. He's a teacher in Charlotte.
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  Shout out to my brother. But yes, this is what goes on.
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  I got to mirror him. I got to take on his personality
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  characteristics and I as I grew older and I got around more
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  people, as I started making more friends, as I started getting
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  getting in school and things like that, there were more
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  people to take from not stealing.
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  Not like I'm not a thief, y'all. I know somebody I'll get leave.
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  Your black makes you a thief. You dare, you dare.
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  No, but seriously, there are a lot of like I would steal
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  personality traits even to this day.
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  Not right, Maybe not so much as right now.
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  I think up until I was about 3233 years old.
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  Up until then, I really do feel like everything I did,
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  everything who I was was just an accumulation of all the
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  personality characteristics that I saw in other people that I
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  liked or that I was jealous of, right.
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  I would, but I feel like I would take that.
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  It's kind of like imagine you see a a friend of yours or
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  somebody out there in public. They have you see an outfit like
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  a pair, like a a clothes out, a clothing outfit, how they
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  wearing their clothes, right? And you like damn, they that
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  that outfit looks good on them, but it would look better on me.
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  That's how I felt about personality traits.
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  I'll be like, damn, that looks good on you, but it will look
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  better on me. So that's how I went about
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  taking people, taking other people's personality,
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  personality characteristics in order to benefit myself.
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  That's how how I went about doing that right there.
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  I would take a personality characteristic that I saw in you
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  that I admired and I would just take it and put make it a part
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  of myself. I would make your personality
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  mine because I feel like I was, I could do it better if you told
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  jokes, I could do it better if you could jump high.
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  I I wanted to jump higher. You see what I'm saying?
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  I would take on that personality characteristic just like the
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  narcissist does with you. If you get with a narcissist
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  right, that is jealous of you, that might admire you or
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  whatever, they're a lot of times they're going to take your
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  personality. They're going to take your
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  hobbies, they're going to take things about you that notice and
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  put it into them, integrate it into themselves, right?
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  And the crazy thing is, a lot of times they'll look, a lot of
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  times they'll tell you that they hate it about you.
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  I hate this about you. But then they'll take it and
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  start doing it. You like, huh, How you gonna
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  hate it and start doing it? What sense does that make right
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  there? I know a lot of people do will
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  understand it, too. Like, yeah, what sense does that
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  make? That makes no sense at all.
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  You're right, Lee. That makes zero sense.
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  Like, I don't understand that right there.
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  That's stupid. I get that.
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  Right. There it is.
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  It can be dumb for a lot of people.
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  Like they will tell you something about you at first,
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  they might admire it, right? It might, they'll make, they
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  might say something like, Oh, I love the fact that you are so
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  outgoing, you're so open. You can talk to anybody, right?
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  And me as a person who I am, I'm introverted.
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  I won't talk to anybody. You got to earn my trust for I
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  even say a word to you, right? They'll take that, right?
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  That's the I just did this and did that and blah, blah, blah,
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  Boo, Boo, Boo, BBB. They'll say a lot of this stuff
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  and like, they'll love it about you at first, but then they'll
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  turn around and hate it. You talk too damn much.
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  But then guess what they start doing?
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  They'll start being outgoing. They'll start trying to make
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  more friends. They'll try to change their
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  personality to match yours while taking it from you.
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  They'll try to do it better than you.
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  They'll claim to hate your friends, right?
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  But then they try to get integrated into your friends.
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  And then like, they'll get integrated into your friend
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  group. And then they'll try to remove
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  you from said friend group, right?
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  They'll try to remove you from that friend group.
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  They'll try to do things like that.
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  They'll try. They'll talk junk about your
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  family. I hate your family.
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  But now they're part Now they're hanging out with your friend
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  family without you even around you see what I'm saying?
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  They'll come into your life. They'll take your hobbies.
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  I hate the fact that you rock climbing such a dangerous such a
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  dangerous hobby. Guess what?
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  Now they're rock climbing. And not only are they rock
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  climbing, they'll damn look, they're rock climbing with the
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  new supply. They go out there and pick the
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  new supply up. Now they're rock climbing with
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  them. You like what the hell?
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  You just told me you hated that about me.
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  But now you rock climbing with her.
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  What are you doing? You just told me you hate it,
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  the fact that I was in a mariachi band and now you're in
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  a rape mariachi band with your new Boo and he looks like me.
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  What? You see what I'm saying?
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  Narcissistic people can be the biggest hip it can be and a lot
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  of times are end up being the biggest hypocrites on the damn
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  planet. You know, I know a lot of y'all
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  can attest to that right there when I say that a lot of
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  narcissists can absolutely and will absolutely be some of the
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  biggest hypocrites that you will ever encounter on this damn
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  planet that you were ever running to because they just
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  can't. It's just like they can't just
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  be open and honest and be themselves in an authentic way.
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  So they feel like they choose they choose to be be it in an
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  inauthentic way. They choose to be devious and
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  deceptive and hurtful and lying in an inauthentic way.
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  Like and this and it's all stems from childhood.
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  Like Lee, what does they come brother?
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  I'm glad you asked it all. Most times it all stems from
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  childhood like for me. And I'll tell you, I'm actually
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  writing a book right now, y'all. So I know I've been writing it
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  for a while, but I'm actually taking it seriously right now,
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  writing it for me. I woke up, it felt like I don't
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  have memories until I'm like 7 between 7:00 and 9:00 years old,
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  right? And when I woke up, it's like I
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  was a blank slate. I didn't know who I was.
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  I knew who my friends were. I knew who my brother was, my
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  Mama, my, my dad, my aunts, uncles, my cousin.
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  I knew who everybody was. I didn't know who I was.
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  I'm like a stranger in my body. I'm trying to learn my body.
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  I'm like, who the hell am I? What the hell do I have going
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  on? Right?
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  I'm doing all of this. So I'm a blank slate.
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  So it's just, yeah, could they have been through some type of
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  trauma that happened and I just don't remember?
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  Yeah, absolutely. But I'm just, I'm a blank slate.
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  So I end up having to take pieces from everybody else to
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  make me right, to complete myself.
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  I needed to take pieces from other people in order to
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  complete myself. So I went about it that way.
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  I started doing it like that. I started taking pieces from
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  everybody else to complete me because I felt empty, because I
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  felt like a blank slate. I felt like a little alien.
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  I've said this before, I've absolutely felt like an alien
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  before. And it sucks having that
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  feeling. It sucks feeling like an alien.
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  It absolutely does. And that's the the thing a lot
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  of people would encounter. Feeling like, feeling, feeling,
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  feeling alien like, right? Feeling alien like.
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  And that's what ends up happening.
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  So in order to fit in, I need to be more like you.
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  In order to fit into other crowds, I need to be more like
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  my other friend. I just had this friend named
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  Jonathan Wright. Super outgoing, loud,
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  boisterous, narcissistic man. Super narcissist, right?
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  But I love being around him because he was loud, boisterous
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  and outgoing. I started being around him and
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  assimilating a lot of those personality characteristics took
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  him on to myself. I wasn't loud, boisterous, and
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  outgoing. I just became more outgoing,
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  right? Also taking the step, I start
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  doing a little bit of stuff that he used to do, but I feel like
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  he should be annoying. He's get super loud and
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  annoying. I'm like, I don't want that.
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  I can take the good parts and X out the bad parts, right?
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  And that's what I'm doing right there.
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  And this is what ends up happening.
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  So, so many people are out here that are dealing with
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  narcissists and the relationship is ending.
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  Don't expect them to stop doing the stuff that they hate it to,
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  stop doing the stuff that that is like you.
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  A lot of times they're going to take that stuff into the next
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  relationship and you're probably going to hate it, right?
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  You're probably going to absolutely, you probably going
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  to absolutely cannot stand what is going on or what you're
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  experiencing right there, and that's understandable.
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  You be like, what the hell you they take your hobbies, they
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  keep your hobbies, they want to be you.
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  So in so of course, in the next relationship with the new
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  supply, they're going to take your hobbies and the stuff that
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  they like to do. They're going to take that stuff
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  into the new relationship and pretend it's all something that
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  they always like to do. So don't be surprised.
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  And that's why I tell you, don't watch.
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  Don't be shocked if in the narcissist gets into a new
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  relationship, they're acting and being like you.
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  They're started saying the same thing that you say.
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  They start behaving the same way that you behave.
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  You see them doing your favorite things with the new person,
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  which can make you make you super jealous.
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  We can make you question yourself.
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  We can make you feel like, make you feel like you're not enough.
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  So that's what a big thing is. Y'all right?
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  That's what you have to kind of get clear on and get that
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  clarity and whatnot. So this is what happens, this is
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  what goes on, this is the process that so many people are
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  going to go through, so many people are going to experience.
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  So as you continue to grow on this journey, as you continue to
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  go forward on this journey, keep healing, keep growing and just
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  understand like when, if they take, if they start doing some,
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  if they claim to hate something and they start doing it, then
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  they don't hate it. They're jealous of you.
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  They're trying to take you over. They don't, they don't feel
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  adequate. Most narcissists are walking
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  around with this deep feeling of inadequacy and they don't get
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  they don't get enough of it. It doesn't go away.
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  It just doesn't go away overnight.
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  Yeah, I promise you it doesn't. I wish you, I wish you would go
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  away from me. I'm I'd have done a lot with
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  this narcissist stuff on YouTube and Facebook.
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  I don't know, a little bit of everything, right?
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  But it still doesn't go away, still doesn't go away.
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  And I hate the fact that it doesn't go away.
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  But anyway, y'all, thank y'all for robbing me to the end of
• 11:41
  this video. Please, if you haven't already,
• 11:43
  hit that subscribe button. You made it this far, might as
• 11:44
  well hit the subscribe button. Help us hit 500K.
• 11:48
  Also everything about me is available at mentalillness.net.
• 11:52
  That's mental illness. myname.net and I will see y'all
• 11:57
  later. Peace.