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170 // How Clarity Builds Confidence in ADHD · ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women

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  In order to build confidence as a woman with ADHD, we need to be able to see
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  things, including ourselves, clearly.
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  Good enough the way you are? In this podcast, I will give you the strategies
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  to build God-centered confidence so you can know in your heart that you do belong.
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  You are enough and you are made on purpose and with a purpose.
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  Hey, I'm Kelsey Spronk, fellow ADHD mom and entrepreneur.
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  Hey friends, welcome to the ADHD with Confidence podcast. I'm your host, Kelsey Spronk.
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  And today I'm going to talk to you about how clarity builds confidence in ADHD.
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  Now, what I mean by clarity, we're talking about clarity in several different
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  areas. So stick around as I have five different areas that we need to build
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  clarity in, in order to build confidence.
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  Before we get started into that I want to encourage you if you need help on
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  this ADHD journey which there is no shame in needing help we all do,
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  I would love to partner with you through ADHD coaching it is a one-on-one conversation
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  you bring in a topic something you're working through something you're working towards
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  something you feel stuck in and we have a conversation that is directed towards
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  helping you make forward motion,
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  if that's something that interests you go to ADHD with confidence confidence.com
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  forward slash offerings and start by booking a free intake coaching call. All right.
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  So when we want to build confidence, we need to be able to see ourselves clearly
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  in order to know that we are enough, even when we face failure or rejection.
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  So the first thing I'm going to say that is going to help bring clarity, sleep.
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  I cannot emphasize sleep enough.
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  A few weeks ago, I was feeling like an absolute failure in everything.
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  I was feeling hopeless and helpless and down and frustrated and like nothing
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  was going to work and tired all the time.
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  And I finally allowed myself to embrace my need for sleep.
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  I let myself have a nap I let myself go to bed early I prioritize sleep for a couple days,
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  and let me tell you it made a phenomenal difference now if you are somebody
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  who has been struggling with sleep I'm also going to link below the episode
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  that I did recently with Dr.
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  Eric Prather as he is a sleep expert so you can listen to that one as well,
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  but I want to emphasize here is that when we are exhausted we're sleep deprived
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  we're not going to see anything very clearly we're grumpy our nervous system
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  is dysregulated that's actually another thing that makes us not see clearly.
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  But it's so incredibly important and i want you to recognize that no matter
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  what we work on within building confident if our basic survival needs of sleep
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  hydration and nutrition,
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  if we are not meeting those, at least to an 80% standard or whatever standard it is that works for you,
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  it's going to be very difficult to have clarity to build confidence in those other areas.
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  So that is number one.
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  The second one here for building confidence is.
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  Your relationship with Jesus. Now, I say that because when we are focused on
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  our accomplishments or our connections or the direction we're moving in,
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  and it's all focused on ourselves, it can be very unstable.
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  And when we remember, especially in the face of rejection or failure,
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  that our worth does not change, that it is grounded in being made in God's image,
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  in that relationship with Jesus, in the fact that we have that forgiveness,
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  that redemption in who we are,
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  that is the basis of our confidence because it's not based on what we do,
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  what we don't do, what we say or don't say, how we perform essentially.
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  It's based on who we are and the fact that we were not made wrong.
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  Number three for clarity building confidence is knowing who you are.
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  So a part of that is understanding your unique ADHD brain. So how do the characteristics
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  of ADHD show up in your life?
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  How do those help you in some ways? In what ways are they a struggle where we
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  need some supports or strategies?
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  How can you use the giftings that you have in your life?
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  And how can you live in such a way that best aligns with who you are?
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  Figuring out who you are and what you need is something else that we often work
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  on in coaching. And I know I have been coached and I found it incredibly helpful.
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  So if you are interested in that, ADHDwithconfidence.com forward slash offerings.
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  All right. Number four, this is partly about knowing who you are,
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  but this one is meeting your other needs. So number one, we talked about your
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  survival needs of sleep, nutrition, and hydration.
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  These are your other needs. And I talk about this often in the podcast and I
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  can link the other episodes below,
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  but I categorize them as your, you know, on the base, you have your survival
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  needs above that you have foundational ones and above that you have life giving.
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  So they go in that order. You need the survival ones first and then the foundational
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  ones and the life-giving ones.
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  But the purpose of meeting these needs is.
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  When we are able to engage in things that are life-giving for us,
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  or our foundational needs for me, something like social connection,
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  being around other people, exercise, my faith, those things make me feel whole,
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  and they make me feel healthy.
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  They make me feel like I can be the best version of who I've been created to be.
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  I feel rested i feel connected and then,
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  at that top level there are those life-giving things then i can be creative
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  and i can learn and these things just add so much more joy to a cup that's already quite filled,
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  so my point here is that we need clarity on what your needs are and how you
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  can incorporate those into your life that's even going to help with sleep we
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  talked the other day in the episode with Dr.
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  Prather he was saying revenge bedtime procrastination which many of us engage
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  in so that's where we are procrastinating at bedtime we want to do other things
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  want to go on our phones or whatever it is we want to do,
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  at night and part of it is because we haven't had those needs fulfilled during the day,
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  and so when we can meet our needs during the day whether that's learning,
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  social connection, exercise, creativity, art, whatever it is that's going to fill your cup.
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  During the day when we do that, then at nighttime, we feel more content,
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  more fulfilled, and less likely to engage in that revenge bedtime procrastination.
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  So that can help with your sleep.
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  All right, the last one, number five.
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  Clarity to build confidence is having a positive community that fills your cup.
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  So the clarity piece of this is understanding who is a positive influence to
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  be around and who is not and having that boundary.
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  So the reason why I share this one, the other day when I had that person at
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  the coffee shop that was incredibly rude, I think it would have completely destroyed
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  and derailed me in that moment,
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  except for the fact that I had had some really great conversations with amazing
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  friends shortly before that.
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  So because I had that positive input that filled my cup, that made me feel more
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  whole, happier, more positive, I was able to handle a little bit more of that
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  rejection. It doesn't mean that it felt good.
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  It doesn't mean that I would choose that or that I liked it by no means.
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  It was awful, but it meant that I could handle a little bit more.
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  I felt more confident because I had had those positive interactions with people who I knew know me.
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  They like being around me. They're my friends. They care about me. They see the good in me.
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  So it's really important to have that positive community.
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  So those five things for building clarity to build confidence number one sleep
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  especially but also your survival needs sleep nutrition hydration,
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  number two your relationship with jesus and reliance on him number three knowing
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  who you are number four meeting your other needs so things like social interaction
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  achievement creativity learning etc
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  and then number five of having a positive community.
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  I hope this episode has helped you or encouraged you in some way.
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  If you have a chance to scroll down and leave a quick review,
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  I always appreciate that, and
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  I look forward to being here with you next time. Until then, God bless.