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What Do I Do When My Spouse and I Can’t Agree on Giving? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:37
  Have
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  ever
• 0:38
  tried
• 0:38
  to
• 0:38
  talk
• 0:38
  about
• 0:38
  giving
• 0:40
  and
• 0:40
  suddenly
• 0:40
  it
• 0:40
  wasn't
• 0:41
  about
• 0:41
  generosity
• 0:42
  anymore.
• 0:43
  It
• 0:44
  was
• 0:44
  about
• 0:44
  control.
• 0:46
  It
• 0:46
  was
• 0:46
  about
• 0:46
  fear,
• 0:48
  security,
• 0:49
  and
• 0:49
  even
• 0:49
  trust.
• 0:50
  Yeah,
• 0:51
  one
• 0:51
  of
• 0:51
  you
• 0:51
  feels
• 0:52
  convicted
• 0:52
  about
• 0:52
  giving,
• 0:53
  but
• 0:54
  the
• 0:54
  other
• 0:54
  one
• 0:54
  just
• 0:55
  feels
• 0:55
  anxious.
• 0:56
  And
• 0:57
  now
• 0:57
  something
• 0:57
  that's
• 0:57
  supposed
• 0:58
  to
• 0:58
  bring
• 0:58
  joy
• 0:59
  is
• 0:59
  creating
• 1:00
  tension
• 1:00
  in
• 1:00
  your
• 1:01
  life.
• 1:02
  So,
• 1:02
  friend,
• 1:02
  if
• 1:03
  you
• 1:03
  and
• 1:03
  your
• 1:03
  spouse
• 1:03
  disagree
• 1:04
  about
• 1:04
  giving,
• 1:05
  you're
• 1:05
  not
• 1:06
  spiritually
• 1:06
  broken.
• 1:07
  You're
• 1:08
  navigating
• 1:08
  two
• 1:08
  hearts
• 1:09
  with
• 1:09
  two
• 1:10
  different
• 1:10
  histories
• 1:11
  and
• 1:11
  two
• 1:12
  different
• 1:12
  comfort
• 1:12
  levels.
• 1:13
  So
• 1:14
  today
• 1:14
  we're
• 1:14
  not
• 1:14
  choosing
• 1:15
  sides.
• 1:16
  We're
• 1:16
  building
• 1:16
  a
• 1:17
  bridge.
• 1:39
  Hello,
• 1:39
  friend.
• 1:40
  Ralph
• 1:40
  Estep
• 1:41
  Jr.
• 1:41
  Here.
• 1:42
  This
• 1:42
  is
• 1:42
  Financially
• 1:43
  Confident
• 1:43
  Christian,
• 1:44
  where
• 1:44
  every
• 1:45
  day
• 1:45
  I
• 1:45
  try
• 1:45
  to
• 1:45
  help
• 1:46
  you
• 1:46
  break
• 1:46
  that
• 1:46
  cycle
• 1:47
  of
• 1:47
  financial
• 1:47
  shame
• 1:48
  and
• 1:48
  live
• 1:49
  in
• 1:49
  confidence.
• 1:50
  And
• 1:51
  today
• 1:51
  we're
• 1:51
  talking
• 1:51
  about
• 1:52
  a
• 1:52
  tough
• 1:52
  situation.
• 1:53
  And
• 1:54
  that's
• 1:54
  what
• 1:54
  to
• 1:54
  do
• 1:54
  when
• 1:55
  you
• 1:55
  or
• 1:55
  your
• 1:55
  spouse
• 1:56
  can't
• 1:57
  agree
• 1:57
  on
• 1:57
  giving.
• 1:58
  Let's
• 1:59
  get
• 1:59
  right
• 1:59
  to
• 1:59
  today's
• 1:59
  question.
• 2:00
  This
• 2:00
  was
• 2:00
  a
• 2:00
  great
• 2:01
  question
• 2:01
  we
• 2:01
  got
• 2:01
  today.
• 2:01
  It
• 2:02
  says
• 2:02
  this,
• 2:02
  Ralph,
• 2:04
  my
• 2:04
  spouse
• 2:04
  and
• 2:04
  I
• 2:04
  have
• 2:05
  completely
• 2:05
  different
• 2:05
  views
• 2:06
  on
• 2:06
  giving,
• 2:07
  and
• 2:07
  it's
• 2:07
  causing
• 2:08
  real
• 2:08
  strain
• 2:08
  in
• 2:09
  our
• 2:09
  relationship.
• 2:10
  I
• 2:10
  am
• 2:10
  tired
• 2:11
  of
• 2:11
  the
• 2:11
  tension
• 2:11
  and
• 2:12
  the
• 2:12
  arguments,
• 2:13
  but
• 2:13
  I
• 2:13
  also
• 2:14
  can't
• 2:14
  just
• 2:14
  let
• 2:15
  go.
• 2:16
  How
• 2:16
  do
• 2:16
  I
• 2:16
  start
• 2:16
  this
• 2:17
  conversation
• 2:17
  in
• 2:18
  a
• 2:18
  way
• 2:18
  that
• 2:18
  brings
• 2:18
  us
• 2:19
  together
• 2:20
  instead
• 2:20
  of
• 2:20
  pushing
• 2:21
  us
• 2:21
  further
• 2:21
  apart?
• 2:22
  I
• 2:23
  want
• 2:23
  to
• 2:23
  find
• 2:23
  common
• 2:24
  ground.
• 2:24
  But
• 2:24
  right
• 2:25
  now
• 2:25
  it
• 2:25
  just
• 2:26
  feels
• 2:26
  like
• 2:26
  we're
• 2:26
  stuck
• 2:26
  on
• 2:27
  opposite
• 2:27
  sides
• 2:28
  and
• 2:29
  I
• 2:29
  don't
• 2:29
  know
• 2:29
  how
• 2:30
  to
• 2:30
  bridge
• 2:30
  it.
• 2:32
  It's
• 2:33
  a
• 2:33
  lot
• 2:33
  of
• 2:33
  weight
• 2:33
  in
• 2:33
  that
• 2:33
  question.
• 2:34
  And
• 2:34
  I
• 2:35
  love
• 2:35
  what
• 2:35
  they
• 2:35
  ended
• 2:35
  with
• 2:36
  because
• 2:36
  that
• 2:36
  is
• 2:36
  the
• 2:36
  answer.
• 2:37
  That
• 2:37
  really
• 2:37
  the
• 2:37
  answer
• 2:38
  is
• 2:38
  how
• 2:38
  to
• 2:38
  build
• 2:39
  a
• 2:39
  bridge.
• 2:40
  Because
• 2:40
  here's
• 2:41
  the
• 2:41
  big
• 2:41
  idea
• 2:41
  for
• 2:42
  today.
• 2:42
  Unity
• 2:43
  in
• 2:43
  your
• 2:43
  relationship.
• 2:45
  That's
• 2:45
  what
• 2:46
  matters
• 2:46
  more
• 2:46
  than
• 2:46
  any
• 2:47
  percentage
• 2:47
  about
• 2:48
  giving.
• 2:49
  I
• 2:49
  want
• 2:49
  to
• 2:49
  say
• 2:49
  that
• 2:50
  again
• 2:50
  because
• 2:50
  you've
• 2:50
  got
• 2:51
  to
• 2:51
  hear
• 2:51
  that
• 2:51
  from
• 2:51
  the
• 2:52
  beginning.
• 2:52
  Today,
• 2:53
  unity
• 2:54
  in
• 2:54
  your
• 2:54
  relationship
• 2:55
  matters
• 2:55
  more
• 2:56
  than
• 2:56
  any
• 2:57
  percentage,
• 2:58
  because
• 2:59
  generosity
• 3:00
  without
• 3:00
  unity
• 3:01
  is
• 3:02
  going
• 3:02
  to
• 3:02
  damage
• 3:03
  the
• 3:03
  marriage.
• 3:03
  It's
• 3:04
  going
• 3:04
  to
• 3:04
  damage
• 3:04
  the
• 3:05
  relationship.
• 3:06
  Guess
• 3:07
  what?
• 3:07
  God
• 3:08
  cares
• 3:08
  about
• 3:09
  both
• 3:09
  of
• 3:09
  those
• 3:09
  things.
• 3:10
  So
• 3:11
  how
• 3:11
  do
• 3:11
  we
• 3:11
  make
• 3:11
  this
• 3:12
  work?
• 3:12
  Number
• 3:13
  one
• 3:13
  thing
• 3:13
  we've
• 3:13
  got
• 3:13
  to
• 3:14
  do,
• 3:14
  we've
• 3:14
  got
• 3:15
  to
• 3:15
  change
• 3:15
  the
• 3:15
  goal
• 3:16
  of
• 3:16
  the
• 3:16
  conversation.
• 3:17
  Listen,
• 3:18
  I've
• 3:18
  been
• 3:18
  married
• 3:18
  for
• 3:19
  25
• 3:19
  years.
• 3:21
  What
• 3:21
  I
• 3:21
  have
• 3:21
  learned
• 3:22
  is
• 3:22
  the
• 3:23
  goal
• 3:23
  is
• 3:23
  not
• 3:24
  to
• 3:24
  win
• 3:24
  the
• 3:24
  conversation.
• 3:26
  If
• 3:26
  your
• 3:26
  goal
• 3:27
  goes
• 3:27
  in
• 3:27
  with
• 3:28
  the
• 3:28
  idea
• 3:28
  that
• 3:28
  you're
• 3:28
  going
• 3:29
  to
• 3:29
  win
• 3:29
  something,
• 3:30
  the
• 3:30
  very
• 3:30
  nature
• 3:31
  of
• 3:31
  winning
• 3:31
  means
• 3:31
  someone
• 3:32
  else
• 3:32
  is
• 3:32
  losing.
• 3:33
  That
• 3:34
  is
• 3:34
  not
• 3:34
  a
• 3:34
  good
• 3:35
  thing
• 3:35
  for
• 3:35
  a
• 3:35
  relationship.
• 3:37
  The
• 3:37
  real
• 3:37
  goal
• 3:37
  needs
• 3:38
  to
• 3:38
  be
• 3:39
  to
• 3:39
  understand
• 3:40
  each
• 3:40
  other,
• 3:41
  understand
• 3:41
  what
• 3:42
  that
• 3:42
  person's
• 3:42
  feeling.
• 3:43
  I
• 3:43
  love
• 3:43
  to
• 3:43
  start
• 3:43
  with
• 3:43
  this
• 3:44
  sentence,
• 3:45
  help
• 3:45
  me
• 3:45
  understand
• 3:46
  what
• 3:46
  giving
• 3:46
  feels
• 3:47
  like
• 3:47
  to
• 3:47
  you.
• 3:49
  You
• 3:49
  gotta
• 3:50
  understand
• 3:50
  what
• 3:50
  they're
• 3:51
  Thinking
• 3:51
  what
• 3:51
  they're
• 3:51
  feeling.
• 3:53
  Because,
• 3:53
  see,
• 3:53
  sometimes
• 3:54
  resistance
• 3:55
  to
• 3:55
  giving
• 3:56
  isn't
• 3:56
  stinginess.
• 3:57
  I
• 3:57
  remember
• 3:57
  my
• 3:58
  wife
• 3:58
  and
• 3:58
  I
• 3:58
  were
• 3:58
  really
• 3:59
  big
• 3:59
  in
• 3:59
  going
• 3:59
  to
• 4:00
  church
• 4:00
  for
• 4:00
  a
• 4:00
  while,
• 4:01
  and
• 4:01
  my
• 4:01
  wife,
• 4:01
  she
• 4:02
  was
• 4:02
  a.
• 4:02
  She
• 4:02
  is
• 4:03
  a
• 4:03
  very
• 4:03
  generous
• 4:04
  person.
• 4:05
  I'm
• 4:05
  not
• 4:05
  like
• 4:06
  that
• 4:06
  by
• 4:06
  my
• 4:07
  very
• 4:07
  nature.
• 4:08
  But
• 4:09
  I
• 4:09
  needed
• 4:09
  to
• 4:09
  sit
• 4:10
  down
• 4:10
  with
• 4:10
  her
• 4:10
  and
• 4:10
  really
• 4:11
  talk
• 4:11
  about
• 4:11
  it.
• 4:11
  It
• 4:12
  wasn't
• 4:12
  about
• 4:12
  winning.
• 4:12
  It
• 4:12
  wasn't
• 4:13
  about,
• 4:13
  well,
• 4:13
  Ralph,
• 4:14
  I
• 4:14
  want
• 4:14
  us
• 4:14
  to
• 4:14
  do
• 4:14
  this.
• 4:15
  I
• 4:15
  want
• 4:15
  to
• 4:15
  do
• 4:15
  that.
• 4:16
  What.
• 4:16
  For
• 4:16
  me,
• 4:17
  the
• 4:17
  fear
• 4:17
  that
• 4:17
  I
• 4:17
  had
• 4:18
  was
• 4:18
  instability
• 4:20
  for
• 4:20
  her.
• 4:21
  She
• 4:21
  had
• 4:21
  a
• 4:21
  fear
• 4:21
  of
• 4:21
  trauma.
• 4:22
  She
• 4:22
  had
• 4:22
  grown
• 4:23
  up
• 4:23
  without
• 4:23
  enough,
• 4:24
  and
• 4:24
  she
• 4:24
  saw
• 4:24
  that,
• 4:24
  what
• 4:25
  that
• 4:25
  did
• 4:25
  in
• 4:25
  her,
• 4:26
  her
• 4:26
  family.
• 4:28
  So
• 4:28
  what
• 4:28
  we
• 4:28
  had
• 4:29
  to
• 4:29
  do
• 4:29
  first
• 4:29
  if
• 4:29
  we
• 4:29
  were
• 4:29
  going
• 4:29
  to
• 4:30
  get
• 4:30
  on
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  same
• 4:30
  page
• 4:30
  with
• 4:31
  this,
• 4:31
  and
• 4:31
  listen,
• 4:31
  I'm
• 4:31
  encouraging
• 4:32
  you
• 4:32
  the
• 4:32
  same
• 4:32
  thing.
• 4:34
  Understand
• 4:35
  the
• 4:35
  feelings
• 4:36
  the
• 4:36
  other
• 4:36
  person
• 4:36
  has.
• 4:38
  Because
• 4:38
  once
• 4:38
  you
• 4:39
  have
• 4:39
  that
• 4:39
  level
• 4:39
  of
• 4:39
  understanding,
• 4:40
  you're
• 4:41
  going
• 4:41
  to
• 4:41
  lower
• 4:41
  the
• 4:42
  defenses.
• 4:43
  You're
• 4:43
  going
• 4:44
  to
• 4:44
  make
• 4:44
  this
• 4:44
  work.
• 4:45
  Here's
• 4:45
  the
• 4:46
  next
• 4:46
  thing
• 4:46
  you've
• 4:46
  absolutely
• 4:47
  got
• 4:47
  to
• 4:47
  do.
• 4:48
  And
• 4:48
  this
• 4:48
  one
• 4:48
  is
• 4:48
  not
• 4:49
  easy.
• 4:49
  And
• 4:50
  that
• 4:50
  separate
• 4:50
  the
• 4:51
  theology
• 4:51
  from
• 4:52
  timing.
• 4:53
  Because
• 4:53
  truth
• 4:53
  is,
• 4:54
  most
• 4:54
  couples
• 4:55
  agree
• 4:56
  that
• 4:56
  giving
• 4:57
  matters.
• 4:58
  You
• 4:58
  may
• 4:59
  disagree
• 4:59
  on
• 4:59
  how
• 4:59
  much
• 5:00
  or
• 5:00
  when
• 5:00
  to
• 5:00
  give.
• 5:02
  So
• 5:02
  instead
• 5:02
  of
• 5:03
  debating
• 5:03
  doctrine,
• 5:04
  they'll
• 5:04
  say,
• 5:04
  we
• 5:04
  need
• 5:04
  to
• 5:05
  give.
• 5:05
  Yes,
• 5:06
  you're
• 5:06
  right,
• 5:06
  we
• 5:06
  need
• 5:06
  to
• 5:07
  give.
• 5:07
  But
• 5:07
  that's
• 5:07
  not
• 5:08
  the
• 5:08
  issue.
• 5:09
  Ask
• 5:10
  this
• 5:10
  question,
• 5:11
  what
• 5:11
  feels
• 5:11
  responsible
• 5:12
  right
• 5:12
  now?
• 5:14
  I'm
• 5:14
  talking
• 5:14
  about
• 5:14
  what's
• 5:15
  responsible
• 5:15
  based
• 5:15
  on
• 5:16
  the
• 5:16
  reality
• 5:16
  on
• 5:17
  the
• 5:17
  ground.
• 5:17
  Hey,
• 5:17
  if
• 5:18
  somebody
• 5:18
  just
• 5:18
  lost
• 5:18
  a
• 5:19
  job,
• 5:19
  if
• 5:20
  you're
• 5:20
  dealing
• 5:20
  with
• 5:20
  an
• 5:21
  unforeseen
• 5:21
  bill,
• 5:22
  it's
• 5:22
  okay
• 5:23
  to
• 5:23
  pull
• 5:23
  back.
• 5:25
  Because
• 5:25
  when
• 5:25
  you
• 5:25
  do
• 5:26
  this,
• 5:26
  you
• 5:26
  move
• 5:26
  the
• 5:27
  conversation
• 5:27
  from
• 5:28
  accusation.
• 5:28
  And
• 5:29
  that's
• 5:29
  a
• 5:29
  lot
• 5:29
  of
• 5:30
  times
• 5:30
  if
• 5:30
  you
• 5:31
  find
• 5:31
  yourself
• 5:31
  accusing
• 5:32
  the
• 5:32
  other
• 5:32
  person,
• 5:33
  you
• 5:33
  might
• 5:33
  as
• 5:33
  well
• 5:34
  stop
• 5:34
  the
• 5:34
  discussion
• 5:34
  right
• 5:35
  there.
• 5:35
  You're
• 5:36
  not
• 5:36
  going
• 5:36
  to
• 5:36
  get
• 5:36
  anywhere.
• 5:37
  Take
• 5:37
  a
• 5:37
  break,
• 5:38
  call
• 5:38
  a
• 5:38
  timeout,
• 5:39
  reconvene
• 5:40
  another
• 5:40
  time.
• 5:41
  But
• 5:41
  when
• 5:41
  you
• 5:41
  can
• 5:41
  get
• 5:42
  to
• 5:42
  the
• 5:42
  point
• 5:42
  of
• 5:42
  the
• 5:43
  of
• 5:43
  the
• 5:43
  discussion,
• 5:44
  it
• 5:45
  actually
• 5:45
  moves
• 5:46
  the
• 5:46
  stewardship.
• 5:48
  Here's
• 5:48
  my
• 5:48
  next
• 5:49
  pro
• 5:49
  tip.
• 5:50
  Start
• 5:50
  with
• 5:50
  a
• 5:50
  shared
• 5:51
  number.
• 5:51
  Not
• 5:52
  your
• 5:52
  ideal
• 5:53
  number.
• 5:54
  If
• 5:54
  one
• 5:54
  of
• 5:55
  the
• 5:55
  one
• 5:55
  of
• 5:55
  you
• 5:55
  wants
• 5:56
  to
• 5:56
  give
• 5:56
  10%
• 5:56
  because
• 5:56
  you're
• 5:57
  like
• 5:57
  Ralph,
• 5:57
  but
• 5:57
  that's
• 5:57
  what
• 5:58
  the
• 5:58
  Bible
• 5:58
  says,
• 5:58
  I
• 5:58
  need
• 5:58
  the
• 5:59
  tithe.
• 5:59
  And
• 6:00
  tithing
• 6:00
  is
• 6:00
  10%.
• 6:01
  Well,
• 6:02
  if
• 6:02
  your
• 6:02
  partner
• 6:02
  feels
• 6:03
  terrified
• 6:03
  by
• 6:03
  the
• 6:04
  thought
• 6:04
  of
• 6:04
  10%,
• 6:05
  don't
• 6:05
  start
• 6:06
  at
• 6:06
  10%.
• 6:08
  Start
• 6:08
  smaller.
• 6:10
  Choose
• 6:10
  a
• 6:10
  percentage
• 6:10
  or
• 6:11
  hey,
• 6:11
  maybe
• 6:11
  a
• 6:12
  flat
• 6:12
  amount.
• 6:13
  Hey,
• 6:13
  we're
• 6:13
  going
• 6:13
  to
• 6:13
  give
• 6:14
  $20
• 6:14
  this
• 6:15
  week.
• 6:16
  Set
• 6:16
  up
• 6:16
  an
• 6:16
  amount
• 6:17
  that
• 6:17
  both
• 6:17
  of
• 6:17
  you
• 6:17
  can
• 6:18
  say
• 6:18
  yes
• 6:18
  to.
• 6:19
  Even
• 6:19
  if
• 6:19
  the
• 6:20
  other
• 6:20
  person
• 6:20
  say,
• 6:20
  well,
• 6:20
  that's
• 6:21
  nothing,
• 6:21
  $20
• 6:22
  is
• 6:22
  nothing.
• 6:22
  Even
• 6:23
  if
• 6:23
  it
• 6:23
  feels
• 6:23
  modest
• 6:25
  because
• 6:25
  what
• 6:25
  you're
• 6:25
  doing
• 6:26
  is
• 6:26
  you're.
• 6:26
  You're
• 6:27
  coming
• 6:27
  up
• 6:27
  with
• 6:27
  an
• 6:27
  agreement
• 6:28
  that
• 6:28
  builds
• 6:28
  trust.
• 6:30
  And
• 6:30
  when
• 6:30
  you
• 6:30
  grow
• 6:31
  that
• 6:31
  trust,
• 6:32
  the
• 6:32
  generosity
• 6:33
  to
• 6:33
  grow,
• 6:33
  because
• 6:33
  the
• 6:33
  person
• 6:34
  can
• 6:34
  believe
• 6:34
  in
• 6:34
  what
• 6:34
  you're
• 6:35
  saying.
• 6:37
  But
• 6:37
  here's
• 6:37
  another
• 6:37
  thing
• 6:37
  I'm
• 6:38
  going
• 6:38
  to
• 6:38
  encourage
• 6:38
  you
• 6:38
  to
• 6:38
  do.
• 6:39
  Create
• 6:39
  a
• 6:40
  quarterly
• 6:40
  giving
• 6:40
  check
• 6:41
  in.
• 6:41
  Because
• 6:41
  you
• 6:41
  don't
• 6:41
  want
• 6:41
  to
• 6:42
  just
• 6:42
  set
• 6:42
  it
• 6:42
  and
• 6:42
  forget
• 6:42
  it.
• 6:43
  And
• 6:43
  instead
• 6:44
  of
• 6:44
  fighting
• 6:45
  every
• 6:45
  month,
• 6:46
  schedule
• 6:46
  a
• 6:46
  calm
• 6:47
  review.
• 6:47
  Maybe
• 6:48
  every
• 6:48
  three
• 6:48
  months,
• 6:49
  once
• 6:49
  a
• 6:49
  quarter,
• 6:50
  sit
• 6:50
  down
• 6:50
  and
• 6:51
  say,
• 6:51
  hey,
• 6:51
  are
• 6:52
  we
• 6:52
  feeling
• 6:52
  about
• 6:52
  this
• 6:53
  right
• 6:53
  now?
• 6:53
  Do
• 6:54
  we
• 6:54
  feel
• 6:54
  like
• 6:54
  we're
• 6:54
  doing
• 6:54
  okay?
• 6:55
  Could
• 6:55
  we
• 6:56
  do
• 6:56
  more?
• 6:57
  Ask
• 6:57
  yourself
• 6:58
  this.
• 6:58
  Is
• 6:58
  it
• 6:58
  stretching
• 6:59
  us
• 6:59
  in
• 6:59
  a
• 6:59
  healthy
• 7:00
  way?
• 7:00
  Listen,
• 7:00
  I'm
• 7:00
  going
• 7:00
  to
• 7:00
  take
• 7:01
  a
• 7:01
  little
• 7:01
  sidetrack
• 7:02
  here
• 7:02
  for
• 7:02
  a
• 7:02
  second.
• 7:03
  I
• 7:04
  honestly
• 7:04
  believe
• 7:04
  that
• 7:05
  giving
• 7:05
  should
• 7:05
  stretch
• 7:06
  us.
• 7:07
  I
• 7:07
  think
• 7:07
  the
• 7:07
  Bible
• 7:08
  speaks
• 7:08
  about
• 7:08
  that.
• 7:09
  But
• 7:09
  if
• 7:09
  it's
• 7:10
  stretching
• 7:10
  us
• 7:10
  to
• 7:10
  the
• 7:10
  point
• 7:11
  where
• 7:11
  we're
• 7:11
  breaking,
• 7:12
  if
• 7:12
  it's
• 7:12
  stretching
• 7:13
  us
• 7:13
  to
• 7:13
  the
• 7:13
  point
• 7:13
  where
• 7:13
  there's
• 7:14
  tension
• 7:14
  and
• 7:14
  anxiety,
• 7:16
  ask
• 7:16
  yourself,
• 7:17
  is
• 7:17
  it
• 7:17
  stretching
• 7:18
  us
• 7:18
  in
• 7:18
  a
• 7:18
  healthy
• 7:19
  way?
• 7:19
  And
• 7:20
  now
• 7:20
  at
• 7:20
  the
• 7:20
  end
• 7:20
  of
• 7:20
  the
• 7:21
  quarter,
• 7:21
  do
• 7:21
  we
• 7:21
  want
• 7:21
  to
• 7:21
  adjust
• 7:22
  this
• 7:22
  some?
• 7:23
  Is
• 7:23
  it
• 7:23
  time
• 7:24
  to
• 7:24
  make
• 7:24
  some
• 7:24
  moves
• 7:25
  either
• 7:25
  upward
• 7:25
  or
• 7:26
  downward?
• 7:27
  Because
• 7:27
  when
• 7:27
  we
• 7:28
  review
• 7:28
  this
• 7:28
  intentionally,
• 7:30
  it
• 7:30
  becomes
• 7:30
  a
• 7:30
  team
• 7:31
  decision
• 7:32
  instead
• 7:32
  of
• 7:33
  a
• 7:33
  tension
• 7:34
  point.
• 7:34
  And
• 7:34
  we
• 7:34
  don't
• 7:34
  want
• 7:35
  tension
• 7:35
  points.
• 7:36
  Here's
• 7:37
  my
• 7:37
  big
• 7:37
  takeaway
• 7:37
  for
• 7:38
  today.
• 7:39
  If
• 7:39
  you
• 7:39
  do
• 7:40
  nothing
• 7:40
  else,
• 7:41
  pray
• 7:42
  together
• 7:42
  before
• 7:43
  you
• 7:43
  decide
• 7:43
  what
• 7:43
  to
• 7:44
  do.
• 7:45
  Now,
• 7:45
  I
• 7:45
  know
• 7:45
  as
• 7:45
  a
• 7:46
  husband
• 7:46
  I'm
• 7:47
  speaking
• 7:47
  to
• 7:47
  men
• 7:47
  right
• 7:47
  now.
• 7:48
  It
• 7:49
  might
• 7:49
  feel
• 7:49
  a
• 7:49
  little
• 7:49
  awkward,
• 7:50
  but
• 7:51
  grab
• 7:51
  your
• 7:51
  partner's
• 7:51
  hand
• 7:52
  and
• 7:52
  say,
• 7:52
  let's
• 7:52
  pray
• 7:52
  about
• 7:53
  this.
• 7:53
  Even
• 7:54
  if
• 7:54
  it's
• 7:54
  just
• 7:54
  a
• 7:54
  short
• 7:54
  prayer.
• 7:55
  God
• 7:55
  help
• 7:56
  us
• 7:56
  agree.
• 7:57
  God,
• 7:58
  give
• 7:58
  us
• 7:58
  wisdom.
• 7:59
  God
• 8:00
  protect
• 8:00
  our
• 8:00
  unity.
• 8:01
  Here's
• 8:02
  what
• 8:02
  I
• 8:02
  found
• 8:02
  in
• 8:03
  my
• 8:03
  25
• 8:04
  years
• 8:04
  of
• 8:04
  marriage.
• 8:05
  Prayer
• 8:06
  softens
• 8:06
  posture.
• 8:08
  And
• 8:08
  that's
• 8:08
  what
• 8:08
  you
• 8:09
  really
• 8:09
  got
• 8:09
  to
• 8:09
  do.
• 8:09
  Because
• 8:09
  a
• 8:10
  softened
• 8:10
  posture
• 8:11
  changes
• 8:12
  the
• 8:12
  conversation.
• 8:14
  It
• 8:14
  just
• 8:14
  seems
• 8:14
  to
• 8:14
  work.
• 8:15
  But
• 8:15
  that's
• 8:15
  the
• 8:15
  beauty
• 8:15
  of
• 8:16
  prayer.
• 8:17
  Here's
• 8:17
  my
• 8:18
  encouragement
• 8:18
  for
• 8:18
  you
• 8:18
  today.
• 8:20
  Togetherness
• 8:21
  beats,
• 8:22
  right?
• 8:23
  So
• 8:24
  here's
• 8:24
  your
• 8:24
  single
• 8:25
  step
• 8:25
  for
• 8:25
  today.
• 8:26
  I
• 8:26
  don't
• 8:27
  want
• 8:27
  you
• 8:27
  to
• 8:27
  argue
• 8:27
  about
• 8:28
  the
• 8:28
  number
• 8:29
  today.
• 8:29
  I
• 8:30
  want
• 8:30
  you
• 8:30
  to
• 8:30
  ask
• 8:30
  this
• 8:30
  one
• 8:31
  question
• 8:31
  instead.
• 8:33
  What
• 8:33
  does
• 8:33
  giving
• 8:34
  feel
• 8:34
  like
• 8:34
  to
• 8:34
  you?
• 8:36
  And
• 8:36
  then
• 8:36
  be
• 8:36
  quiet.
• 8:37
  Just
• 8:38
  listen
• 8:38
  without
• 8:39
  interrupting.
• 8:39
  Don't
• 8:40
  poke
• 8:40
  and
• 8:40
  prod.
• 8:40
  Just
• 8:41
  ask
• 8:41
  the
• 8:41
  question,
• 8:42
  what
• 8:42
  does
• 8:42
  giving
• 8:43
  feel
• 8:43
  like
• 8:43
  to
• 8:43
  you?
• 8:44
  Just
• 8:44
  have
• 8:45
  that
• 8:45
  single
• 8:45
  conversation.
• 8:46
  Because
• 8:46
  what
• 8:47
  I
• 8:47
  have
• 8:47
  found,
• 8:48
  been
• 8:48
  working
• 8:48
  with
• 8:48
  couples
• 8:49
  and
• 8:49
  working
• 8:49
  on
• 8:49
  my
• 8:50
  own
• 8:50
  marriage
• 8:50
  for
• 8:50
  years,
• 8:52
  that
• 8:52
  single
• 8:53
  conversation,
• 8:53
  what
• 8:53
  does
• 8:54
  giving
• 8:54
  feel
• 8:54
  like
• 8:55
  to
• 8:55
  you?
• 8:55
  Can
• 8:56
  shift
• 8:56
  everything.
• 8:58
  Let's
• 8:58
  get
• 8:58
  to
• 8:58
  our
• 8:58
  Bible
• 8:59
  verse
• 8:59
  today.
• 9:00
  It
• 9:00
  comes
• 9:00
  to
• 9:00
  us
• 9:00
  from
• 9:00
  the
• 9:01
  book
• 9:01
  of
• 9:01
  Ecclesiastes.
• 9:02
  Chapter
• 9:03
  4,
• 9:03
  verses
• 9:04
  9
• 9:04
  and
• 9:04
  10.
• 9:06
  Two
• 9:06
  are
• 9:06
  better
• 9:06
  than
• 9:06
  one
• 9:07
  because
• 9:08
  they
• 9:08
  have
• 9:08
  a
• 9:08
  good
• 9:08
  return
• 9:09
  for
• 9:09
  their
• 9:09
  labor.
• 9:10
  If
• 9:10
  either
• 9:11
  of
• 9:11
  them
• 9:11
  falls
• 9:12
  down,
• 9:12
  one
• 9:13
  can
• 9:13
  help
• 9:13
  the
• 9:13
  other
• 9:14
  up.
• 9:15
  But
• 9:15
  pity
• 9:15
  anyone
• 9:16
  who
• 9:16
  falls
• 9:17
  and
• 9:17
  has
• 9:17
  no
• 9:18
  one
• 9:18
  to
• 9:18
  help
• 9:18
  them
• 9:19
  up.
• 9:20
  See,
• 9:21
  marriage
• 9:22
  relationships
• 9:24
  are
• 9:24
  designed
• 9:25
  to
• 9:25
  be
• 9:25
  a
• 9:25
  partnership,
• 9:26
  not
• 9:26
  opposition,
• 9:27
  not
• 9:28
  a
• 9:28
  battle,
• 9:28
  not
• 9:29
  a
• 9:29
  he
• 9:29
  wins,
• 9:29
  she
• 9:30
  wins.
• 9:30
  Somebody
• 9:31
  loses
• 9:31
  in
• 9:31
  that.
• 9:32
  And
• 9:33
  that's
• 9:33
  especially
• 9:33
  true
• 9:34
  when
• 9:34
  you're
• 9:34
  trying
• 9:35
  to
• 9:35
  figure
• 9:35
  out
• 9:35
  how
• 9:35
  to
• 9:36
  steward
• 9:36
  your
• 9:36
  money
• 9:37
  together.
• 9:38
  We
• 9:38
  pray
• 9:38
  together
• 9:39
  right
• 9:39
  now,
• 9:40
  Lord,
• 9:41
  you
• 9:42
  see
• 9:42
  this
• 9:42
  marriage
• 9:43
  and
• 9:44
  you
• 9:44
  see
• 9:44
  the
• 9:44
  tension,
• 9:45
  you
• 9:45
  see
• 9:46
  the
• 9:46
  frustration,
• 9:47
  you
• 9:47
  see
• 9:47
  the
• 9:47
  desire
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  do
• 9:48
  what's
• 9:48
  right.
• 9:50
  So,
• 9:50
  Lord,
• 9:50
  right
• 9:50
  now
• 9:50
  I
• 9:51
  ask
• 9:51
  that
• 9:51
  you
• 9:51
  would
• 9:51
  bring
• 9:52
  unity
• 9:52
  where
• 9:52
  there's
• 9:53
  division.
• 9:54
  Replace
• 9:54
  that
• 9:55
  defensiveness
• 9:56
  with
• 9:56
  understanding.
• 9:58
  Replace
• 9:58
  that
• 9:58
  fear
• 9:59
  with
• 9:59
  wisdom.
• 10:00
  And
• 10:01
  Lord,
• 10:01
  replace
• 10:01
  tension
• 10:02
  with
• 10:02
  teamwork.
• 10:04
  Help
• 10:04
  them
• 10:04
  remember,
• 10:05
  Lord,
• 10:05
  at
• 10:05
  the
• 10:05
  very
• 10:06
  core
• 10:06
  they're
• 10:06
  on
• 10:06
  the
• 10:06
  same
• 10:07
  side.
• 10:08
  Lord,
• 10:09
  guide
• 10:09
  their
• 10:09
  decisions.
• 10:10
  Protect
• 10:10
  our
• 10:10
  hearts
• 10:12
  and
• 10:12
  let
• 10:12
  generosity
• 10:13
  grow
• 10:13
  from
• 10:13
  a
• 10:14
  place
• 10:14
  of
• 10:14
  unity
• 10:15
  and
• 10:15
  not
• 10:15
  pressure.
• 10:16
  And
• 10:17
  we
• 10:17
  ask
• 10:17
  this
• 10:17
  together
• 10:18
  in
• 10:18
  Jesus
• 10:19
  name.
• 10:20
  Amen,
• 10:22
  friend.
• 10:22
  Here's
• 10:23
  what
• 10:23
  I
• 10:23
  want
• 10:23
  to
• 10:23
  encourage
• 10:23
  you
• 10:24
  today.
• 10:25
  Protect
• 10:25
  the
• 10:26
  marriage
• 10:26
  first.
• 10:27
  Protect
• 10:28
  that
• 10:28
  relationship
• 10:29
  first,
• 10:30
  because
• 10:30
  generosity
• 10:31
  will
• 10:31
  grow
• 10:32
  much
• 10:33
  better
• 10:33
  from
• 10:33
  a
• 10:34
  place
• 10:34
  of
• 10:34
  unity.
• 10:35
  And
• 10:35
  if
• 10:36
  you've
• 10:36
  got
• 10:36
  a
• 10:36
  question
• 10:36
  for
• 10:37
  the
• 10:37
  show,
• 10:37
  just
• 10:37
  like
• 10:37
  today's
• 10:38
  question,
• 10:38
  I
• 10:38
  know
• 10:38
  it's
• 10:38
  a
• 10:38
  little
• 10:39
  bit
• 10:39
  deep
• 10:39
  today,
• 10:39
  but
• 10:39
  that's
• 10:40
  the
• 10:40
  kind
• 10:40
  of
• 10:40
  questions
• 10:40
  I
• 10:41
  love
• 10:41
  answering.
• 10:41
  If
• 10:41
  you've
• 10:41
  got
• 10:42
  a
• 10:42
  question,
• 10:43
  go
• 10:43
  to
• 10:43
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question.
• 10:47
  i'm
• 10:48
  going
• 10:48
  to
• 10:48
  give
• 10:48
  that
• 10:48
  to
• 10:48
  you
• 10:48
  again.
• 10:49
  We'll
• 10:49
  put
• 10:49
  it
• 10:49
  in
• 10:49
  the
• 10:49
  show
• 10:49
  notes,
• 10:50
  but
• 10:50
  it's
• 10:51
  super
• 10:51
  important.
• 10:51
  It's
• 10:52
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question
• 10:56
  well,
• 10:57
  thank
• 10:57
  you
• 10:57
  so
• 10:57
  much
• 10:57
  for
• 10:58
  joining
• 10:58
  me
• 10:58
  today.
• 10:59
  Stay
• 10:59
  financially
• 11:00
  savvy.
• 11:00
  May
• 11:00
  God
• 11:01
  bless
• 11:01
  you
• 11:01
  and
• 11:02
  you
• 11:02
  have
• 11:02
  a
• 11:02
  truly
• 11:03
  great
• 11:03
  day
• 11:03
  today.